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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:25,155 ♪ DECK THE HALL WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY ♪ 2 00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,940 ♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA ♪ 3 00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:30,595 ♪ '’TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY ♪ 4 00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:33,120 ♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA ♪ 5 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,948 ♪ DON WE NOW OUR GAY APPAREL ♪ 6 00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:38,603 ♪ FA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA ♪ 7 00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:41,258 ♪ TROLL THE ANCIENT YULETIDE CAROL ♪ 8 00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:44,392 ♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA ♪♪ 9 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,265 ♪ HERE WE COME A-WASSAILING ♪ 10 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,833 ♪ AMONG THE LEAVES SO GREEN ♪ 11 00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:53,053 ♪ HERE WE COME A-WANDERING ♪ 12 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,098 ♪ SO FAIR TO BE SEEN ♪ 13 00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:57,666 ♪ LOVE AND JOY COME TO YOU ♪ 14 00:00:57,796 --> 00:01:00,277 ♪ AND TO YOU YOUR WASSAIL, TOO ♪ 15 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:01,974 ♪ AND GOD BLESS YOU 16 00:01:02,105 --> 00:01:05,500 ♪ AND SEND YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR ♪ 17 00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:09,808 ♪ AND GOD SEND YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR ♪ 18 00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:13,812 ♪ GOD BLESS THE MASTER OF THIS HOUSE ♪ 19 00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:16,293 ♪ LIKEWISE THE MISTRESS TOO ♪ 20 00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:18,687 ♪ AND ALL THE LITTLE CHILDREN ♪ 21 00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:20,863 ♪ THAT '’ROUND THE TABLE GO ♪ 22 00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:23,344 ♪ LOVE AND JOY COME TO YOU ♪ 23 00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:26,086 ♪ AND TO YOU YOUR WASSAIL, TOO ♪ 24 00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:27,739 ♪ AND GOD BLESS YOU 25 00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:31,178 ♪ AND SEND YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR ♪ 26 00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:36,487 ♪ AND GOD SEND YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR ♪♪ 27 00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:39,838 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE 28 00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,232 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE 29 00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:46,149 ♪ THOU TREE MOST FAIR AND LOVELY ♪ 30 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,151 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE 31 00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:50,501 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE 32 00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:54,679 ♪ THOU TREE MOST FAIR AND LOVELY ♪ 33 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:58,727 ♪ A SIGN OF PEACE AT CHRISTMASTIME ♪ 34 00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:02,687 ♪ SPREADS HOPE AND GLADNESS FAR AND WIDE ♪ 35 00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,733 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE 36 00:02:04,863 --> 00:02:07,083 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE 37 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:12,958 ♪ THOU TREE MOST FAIR AND LOVELY ♪♪ 38 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:16,440 FIRST TIME IN ORLANDO ? OH, NO. 39 00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:19,051 I FLY IN ONCE A YEAR. 40 00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,315 OF COURSE, I USUALLY COME IN A DIFFERENT WAY. 41 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,404 WHERE ARE YOU FROM ? UP NORTH. 42 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:25,057 ME, TOO. TORONTO. 43 00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:26,494 REALLY ? 44 00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:28,800 WHAT LINE OF WORK ARE YOU IN ? TOYS, MOSTLY. 45 00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:30,672 NO FOOLING ? YOU BEEN IN IT LONG ? 46 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:33,283 LONGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. I HEAR THAT. 47 00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,072 PRISCILLA, COME BACK HERE. 48 00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:43,859 YOU HERE ON BUSINESS ? 49 00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,991 I'’M HERE TO APPOINT A REPLACEMENT; 50 00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:48,298 SOMEONE TO TAKE OVER MY DUTIES. 51 00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,866 UNFORTUNATELY, A PERSON WITH THE RIGHT QUALIFICATIONS... 52 00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:53,347 IS DIFFICULT TO FIND. 53 00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:56,350 WELL, IT'’S A SMART COOKIE... 54 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,439 THAT KNOWS WHEN TO HANG UP THE OLD CLEATS. 55 00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,354 OH, IT'’S TIME. 56 00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:03,966 I'’M AFRAID I REALLY SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS LAST YEAR. 57 00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:06,055 I DON'’T THINK I'’VE QUITE... 58 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,275 GOT THE MAGIC FOR ANOTHER TRIP. 59 00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:11,191 THAT'’S HOW I FEEL EVERY TIME THEY SEND ME TO PITTSBURGH. 60 00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:16,196 YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I COULD REMEMBER... 61 00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:18,372 EVERY NAME ON MY LIST. 62 00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:21,418 A LOT OF CONTACTS ? OH, ALL OVER THE WORLD. 63 00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:24,116 NOW I HAVE TROUBLE RECALLING... 64 00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:26,249 WHO WAS NAUGHTY AND WHO WAS NICE; 65 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,120 WHO ASKED FOR A TOY TRUCK, 66 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,079 AND WHO WANTED A BICYCLE. 67 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,037 SOUNDS LIKE A DATABASE PROBLEM. 68 00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,039 [ Jingle ] 69 00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:38,783 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE 70 00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,655 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE 71 00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:44,485 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE OH, CHRISTMAS TREE ♪ 72 00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:47,836 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE OH, CHRISTMAS TREE ♪ 73 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:51,318 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE OH, CHRISTMAS TREE ♪ 74 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,189 ♪ OH, CHRISTMAS TREE-- 75 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,192 HEY, BUDDY, HURRY UP ! I GOTTA GET TO THE AIRPORT. 76 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:59,064 DON'’T WORRY, MISTER. WE'’LL MAKE THAT PLANE. 77 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,458 I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE IN THE FAST LANE. 78 00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:03,678 I HAVE AN ALMOST SUPERNATURAL FEEL... 79 00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,680 FOR THE ROAD BENEATH MY TIRES. 80 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:08,030 HA, HA ! THRILL DRIVER ! [ Tires Screech ] 81 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,511 REMINDS ME OF MY OLD DAYS... 82 00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,208 ON THE "FIGURE 8" TRACK. 83 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:15,298 "IN CAR 9, IT'’S ERNEST P. WORRELL, THE SCREAMIN'’ DEMON ! 84 00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:18,693 HE'’S GOING FOR HIS SECOND TRACK RECORD TONIGHT !" 85 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,303 WHOA ! 86 00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,522 [ Tires Screech ] 87 00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,263 WHOA ! 88 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,700 WHOAAAA ! 89 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,310 [ Tires Screech ] HEY, MISTER ! MISTER ! 90 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:31,749 I TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT SEAT BELT. 91 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:38,452 HEY MISTER, YOU CAN'’T GET OUT HERE ! 92 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:42,282 FUN IS FUN, BUT YOU'’VE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH ! 93 00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:44,371 [ Grunts ] 94 00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:59,734 NICE BAG. GUCCI ? 95 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:01,649 GUNNY ! GET IT ? 96 00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:04,695 NEXT IN LINE. 97 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,017 I HATE THIS JOB. 98 00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:23,410 IS SOMETHING WRONG ? 99 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,237 IS THIS YOUR REAL NAME ? 100 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:28,371 IT'’S THE NAME I'’M KNOWN BY, YES. 101 00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:30,939 SURE. 102 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:32,375 WHY NOT ? 103 00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:35,335 THANKS, SKIPPY. 104 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:40,035 WE'’LL CATCH THAT PLANE, MISTER. 105 00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,782 WE'’LL MAKE IT. DON'’T WORRY. 106 00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,697 WE'’LL BE AIRBORNE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. 107 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,960 [ Revving Engine ] 108 00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:53,527 AHHHH ! 109 00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:55,616 [ Crunch ] 110 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:57,269 HEY, YOU ! 111 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:00,621 TOUCH DOWN ! 112 00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:03,101 [ Shouting ] IT'’S NOT MY FAULT ! 113 00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:05,669 WELL SIR, I THINK WE MADE IT. 114 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,672 YOU'’RE GONNA MAKE THAT FLIGHT AFTER ALL. 115 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,370 COME ON, MISTER, 116 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,415 THIS IS NO TIME TO TAKE A NAP. 117 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,374 YOU'’RE GONNA MISS YOUR FLIGHT. 118 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,683 [ Shouting ] 119 00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,164 YES, SIR, WHEN IT COMES TO DRIVING SKILLS, 120 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,819 NOBODY CAN BEAT ERNEST P. WORRELL. 121 00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,255 [ Rip-pp ] 122 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,387 UH-OH. 123 00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:31,913 HERE. FOLD THIS UP. KICK SOME OF THESE IN HERE. 124 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:34,002 YES, SIR, CURB TO COUNTER. 125 00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,917 IT'’S HIM ! 126 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:40,400 JUST A LITTLE EXTRA SERVICE US INDEPENDENTS HAVE TO DO... 127 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,705 TO KEEP UP WITH THE BIG GUYS. 128 00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:44,012 WHOA ! YOU FORGOT YOUR CARRY-ON. 129 00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:48,364 HERE, YOU'’LL NEED A JACKET. 130 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,366 [ Shouting ] 131 00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,847 YOU'’D BETTER TAKE THIS OTHER SUITCASE. 132 00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:54,326 HAVE A NICE DAY ! 133 00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,285 [ Shouting ] 134 00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,245 WHAT A PLACE. 135 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,334 CHRISTMASTIME, AND IT'’S 80 DEGREES. 136 00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:06,077 YES, I'’M USED TO A COLDER CLIMATE MYSELF. 137 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:08,602 YOU KNOW WHAT I'’D REALLY LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS ? 138 00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:11,431 SNOW. SNOW ? 139 00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:14,521 I COULD HAVE SWORN YOU WANTED A CD PLAYER. 140 00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,566 I'’D BETTER MAKE A NOTE OF THAT. [ Car Horn ] 141 00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:18,525 THERE'’S MY WIFE. I'’VE GOT TO GO. 142 00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,918 ARE YOU GOING TO BE OKAY ? IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU. 143 00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,268 I'’VE MADE A NOTE ABOUT THAT SNOW. 144 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:26,881 TAXI ! 145 00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,578 MISTER, I'’M A TAXI. 146 00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:29,884 HERE, YOU GOT ONE. 147 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,102 I'’LL TAKE THOSE. 148 00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:37,761 [ Shouting ] 149 00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:38,719 WHERE TO ? 150 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:41,025 ORLANDO CHILDREN'’S MUSEUM. 151 00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:43,027 [ Tires Screech ] 152 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:46,988 HEY, COME BACK HERE ! 153 00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:50,992 HA ! HA ! 154 00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:56,040 BOBBY, WE'’VE GOT 9 CRATES ON HOLD, 155 00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:58,478 AND THEY'’VE GOT TO BE PICKED UP ON THE 24th. 156 00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,915 I CAN'’T BELIEVE IT ! 157 00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:02,264 WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND... 158 00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,222 WOULD BE WORKING ON THE 24th ? 159 00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:06,094 THAT'’S CHRISTMAS EVE. 160 00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:07,965 I'’LL TELL YOU WHO. 161 00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:10,011 "WE" WHO, THAT'’S WHO. 162 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,536 RAIN, SLEET, HAIL, THE SUPER BOWL, 163 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:14,755 THE 4th OF JULY. 164 00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,452 BOBBY, IF IT WEREN'’T FOR US, 165 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,846 THIS AIRLINE WOULD NEVER GET OFF THE GROUND. [ Crunch ] 166 00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:20,021 AIN'’T THAT RIGHT, BOBBY ? 167 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:28,029 I GUESS IF YOU WANT THINGS DONE RIGHT, 168 00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,466 YOU GOTTA DO IT YOURSELF. 169 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,294 [ Groan ] 170 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,035 YO, BOB ! 171 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:35,297 BREAK'’S OVER. 172 00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,951 [ Groan ] 173 00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,044 SUN GETTIN'’ TO YOU ? 174 00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:45,960 YES, IT'’S NOT AS BRIGHT AT NIGHT. 175 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:48,571 I'’M USUALLY HERE AT NIGHT. 176 00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,704 HERE YOU GO. I ALWAYS KEEP AN EXTRA PAIR. 177 00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,270 OH, THANK YOU, ERNEST. 178 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:55,360 YOU KNOW, I DON'’T WANT TO INSULT YOU OR NOTHIN'’, 179 00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:59,277 BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU REMIND ME OF ? SANTA CLAUS ? 180 00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:00,975 I GUESS YOU HEAR THAT A LOT. 181 00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:03,151 OH, YES. BUT THEN, IT'’S TO BE EXPECTED. 182 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:04,282 BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE HIM ? 183 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:05,980 BECAUSE I AM HIM. 184 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,721 BECAUSE YOU "AM" HIM. 185 00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,158 WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT ? 186 00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:11,551 YEAH. 187 00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:14,249 [ Humming ] 188 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:35,879 AHHH. SMELL THOSE CHRISTMAS TREES. 189 00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,012 YOU CAN KEEP YOUR "CHANNEL" NUMBER 5. 190 00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:41,015 JUST GIVE ME A WHIFF OF THE OLD LONESOME PINE; 191 00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:43,017 THAT SYMBOL OF BROTHERLY LOVE, 192 00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:45,846 THAT CENTERPIECE THAT ALL MANKIND GATHERS AROUND... 193 00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:49,632 TO SHARE THE CRANBERRY SAUCE SHAPED LIKE A CAN. 194 00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:52,853 AHHH ! 195 00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:54,419 WHOA, LITTLE TREE ! 196 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:57,031 STAY CALM, TANNENBAUM, I'’LL GET YOU OUT OF THIS. 197 00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:58,467 WHOA ! [ Tires Screech ] 198 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,949 EVEN IN EMERGENCY SITUATIONS, 199 00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:04,038 ALWAYS FOLLOW SAFE DRIVING RULES. 200 00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,693 YOU'’LL NOTICE THAT I AM USING MY EMERGENCY SIGNAL INDICATORS, 201 00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:08,520 [ Crunch ] WHEN IN REVERSE. 202 00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:09,130 HA ! HA ! 203 00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,657 [ Brakes Squeal ] 204 00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,616 WHOA ! 205 00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,530 [ Brakes Squeal ] 206 00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:19,880 OPEN UP ! 207 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,621 HERE, HOLD THIS A MINUTE. 208 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:23,405 [ Crash ] 209 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:26,713 THEY REALLY BUNCH UP AT THIS EXIT. 210 00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:28,323 KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 211 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,025 I TAKE IT YOU REALLY NEEDED A TREE ? 212 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:36,810 NO, I'’VE ALREADY GOT ONE, 213 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,986 BUT I'’VE GOT A FRIEND WHO COULD USE IT. 214 00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:41,902 BESIDES, IT'’D BE A SHAME FOR IT TO BE ALONE ON CHRISTMAS. 215 00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:43,904 IT'’S NICE TO FIND SOMEBODY... 216 00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:46,036 WITH SUCH DEVOTION TO CHRISTMAS. 217 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,082 YOU KNOW, I DON'’T TELL MANY PEOPLE THIS, 218 00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,388 BUT CHRISTMAS IS JUST ABOUT MY FAVORITE TIME. 219 00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:51,912 EVER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE KID, 220 00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:54,697 I ALWAYS FELT LIKE IT WAS MY OWN PERSONAL HOLIDAY. 221 00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:57,221 I'’M AT ONE WITH THE YULETIDE. KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 222 00:10:57,352 --> 00:10:59,310 I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. 223 00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:01,225 I EVEN MEMORIZED THE NAMES OF ALL THE REINDEER, 224 00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,010 LIKE "DONDER" AND "BLISTER." 225 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:05,142 THAT'’S "BLITZEN." 226 00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:09,756 IT SAYS, "HOLD FOR PICKUP BY--" 227 00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,061 IS THAT AN "M" ? 228 00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:12,280 "V." 229 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,499 RIGHT HERE. THAT'’S AN "M." "V." 230 00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:17,024 "M." "V." 231 00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:21,376 "M, M, M." "V, V, V." 232 00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:27,121 THAT IS AN "M." 233 00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:30,037 "HOLD FOR HELPER ELMES." 234 00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,169 THIS IS PROBABLY AMISH. 235 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,954 IT COULD EVEN BE QUAKER. 236 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,999 ONLY THING I KNOW IS THAT IT'’S FRENCH. 237 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,609 "V." 238 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,787 OKAY, BOBBY, I NEED YOU TO GO ON BACK TO WORK. 239 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,093 SEE YOU. TALK TO YOU LATER. 240 00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,921 [ Rumble ] 241 00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:49,143 [ Santa ] DID YOU EVER HEAR OF A MAN... 242 00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:51,362 NAMED JOE CARRUTHERS ? 243 00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,800 IT DON'’T RING A BELL. SHOULD I HAVE ? 244 00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:56,193 "UNCLE JOEY'’S TREE HOUSE ?" 245 00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:59,327 UNCLE JOEY ? ARE YOU KIDDING ? 246 00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:01,503 ♪ THEY NEVER GET OLD 247 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,244 ♪ THEY ALWAYS STAY NEW 248 00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,986 ♪ THOSE 3 LITTLE WORDS "PLEASE" AND "THANK YOU" ♪♪ 249 00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:08,162 - HEY. - HEY ! 250 00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:10,817 I HAVEN'’T SEEN THAT SHOW IN YEARS. 251 00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,514 IS HE STILL ON THE AIR ? 252 00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:14,472 WELL, HE WAS UNTIL 3 WEEKS AGO, 253 00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:16,648 AND THEN IT WAS CANCELED. 254 00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:20,870 WELL, BY NOW HE MUST BE ROLLING IN MUCHO DINERO. 255 00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,307 WELL, YOU DON'’T GET RICH BY DOING... 256 00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:26,833 A ONCE-A-WEEK CHILDREN'’S PROGRAM ON LOCAL TV. 257 00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:29,966 YOU'’VE GOT TO DO IT FOR OTHER REASONS. 258 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:33,535 AND THAT'’S WHY I'’M HERE. 259 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:36,538 HEY, HEY ! 260 00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:38,888 HEY, HOLD IT ! 261 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,064 YOU FORGOT SOMETHING. TAKE IT EASY, MISTER. 262 00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,023 IT'’S NOT ME. IT'’S MY BROTHER. 263 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:44,720 HE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME. 264 00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:47,549 WE GO OUT. HE SAYS HE HAS THE MONEY, AND THEN WE EAT. 265 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,725 THEN HE GOES TO THE BATHROOM AND SNEAKS OUT. 266 00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,380 WHEN THE CHECK COMES, I'’M LEFT WITH NO MONEY... 267 00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,251 AND THIS STUPID LOOK ON MY FACE. 268 00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,166 PLEASE, MISTER, JUST LET ME GO THIS TIME. 269 00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:57,341 YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT ? 270 00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:59,039 I SWEAR IT'’S TRUE. LOOK ! 271 00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:00,910 THERE'’S MY BROTHER NOW. THERE HE IS ! 272 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,346 HEY, TOMMY ! 273 00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:03,608 HEY ! 274 00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:07,787 [ Ding, Ding ] 275 00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,572 WHOA ! 276 00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:12,835 AAAH ! 277 00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,924 [ Brakes Screech ] 278 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:21,191 PLEASE, MISTER, GO, GO, GO ! 279 00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:22,976 AAAH ! 280 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,978 [ Ding, Ding ] 281 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:27,850 DING ! 282 00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,288 THAT WAS MY MEAN UNCLE. 283 00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:33,813 HE MAKES ME WORK IN THAT RESTAURANT LIKE A SLAVE. 284 00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,424 HE KEEPS ME LOCKED UP IN THE BASEMENT... 285 00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,687 WITH RATS AND FILTH, AND I JUST ESCAPED. 286 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,994 PLEASE DON'’T LET HIM GET ME, OKAY ? 287 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:44,214 [ As John Wayne ] WELL, NOT TO WORRY, LITTLE LADY. 288 00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,216 YOU'’RE SAFE WITH US. 289 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,743 THANKS. 290 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:54,224 I'’M HARMONY STARR. 291 00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:57,053 REMEMBER THAT NAME, BECAUSE I'’LL BE FAMOUS SOMEDAY. 292 00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,795 THIS IS ERNEST, AND I'’M SANTA CLAUS. 293 00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,323 SURPRISED ? 294 00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:09,674 NO, NO. 295 00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,198 NOT REALLY. 296 00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:15,942 [ Children'’s Voices ] 297 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:24,167 [ Click ] 298 00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:29,869 THAT'’LL BE $32.50. 299 00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,000 THERE YOU GO. 300 00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,700 HEY, THIS AIN'’T REAL. WHAT ? 301 00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:38,094 THIS BILL CARRIES THE LIKENESS OF ONE... 302 00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:39,922 "MR. FUNTIME." 303 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,185 HMMM. 304 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:45,406 REALLY, I DON'’T HAVE MUCH USE FOR CURRENCY, 305 00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:48,278 BUT I DO LIKE TO HAVE A LITTLE AROUND. 306 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:51,238 JUST, YOU KNOW, IN CASE. 307 00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:54,545 OH, MY. OH, MY GOODNESS. 308 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:56,765 LAST YEAR, 309 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,115 A 5-YEAR-OLD WANTED... 310 00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:01,509 A "MR. FUNTIME" GROCERY STORE. 311 00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,991 I INCLUDED A LARGE AMOUNT OF... 312 00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:07,558 PLAY MONEY. 313 00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:10,997 I SUPPOSE I MUST HAVE MIXED IT UP. 314 00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,694 DUM-DA-DUM-DUM. 315 00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:14,870 WHAT WE'’VE GOT HERE... 316 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,829 IS A FAILURE TO "ACCUMULATE." 317 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,529 [ Sigh ] 318 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:25,098 WHAT THE HECK. IT'’S ON THE HOUSE. 319 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:29,145 MERRY CHRISTMAS, OLD BUDDY. THANK YOU, TOO, OLD BUDDY ! 320 00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:31,191 [ Indistinct Conversation ] 321 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,510 OH, RIGHT THROUGH THERE, DEAR. 322 00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,913 AHEM. EXCUSE ME. 323 00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,872 I'’M LOOKING FOR A MAN NAMED JOSEPH CARRUTHERS. 324 00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:04,833 I'’M THE GREATEST. 325 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:05,921 ROAR. 326 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,706 ME TOO, ME TOO ! 327 00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:09,969 ROAR ! 328 00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,711 FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS, 329 00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,626 DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH. 330 00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:17,933 ROAR. ROAR. 331 00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:19,369 HEY, DON'’T DO THAT ! 332 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:23,243 THEN, SOMETHING REALLY STRANGE HAPPENED. 333 00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:26,507 UH-OH, IT'’S THE ICE AGE ! 334 00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:29,466 OH, NO, I DON'’T FEEL TOO GOOD. 335 00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,555 AH-AH-AH-CHOO ! 336 00:16:32,817 --> 00:16:34,689 HE'’S A WONDERFUL MAN. 337 00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:36,343 WE'’RE SO LUCKY TO HAVE HIM WITH US. 338 00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:39,476 YOU DON'’T NEED TO TELL ME. I'’VE WATCHED HIM FOR YEARS. 339 00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:41,913 YES, WELL, HE'’S BEEN SUCH A HELP HERE, 340 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,133 AND THE CHILDREN JUST LOVE HIM. 341 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,918 I HOPE HE GETS SOMETHING GOING FOR HIMSELF SOON. 342 00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:50,618 OH, I IMAGINE HE'’LL HAVE HIS HANDS FULL VERY SHORTLY. 343 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:54,274 THAT'’S WHY WE DON'T SEE DINOSAURS AROUND ANYMORE. 344 00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:55,927 HEY, LISTEN. 345 00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:59,583 I WANT TO THANK ALL YOU KIDS FOR COMING TO SEE ME TODAY. 346 00:16:59,714 --> 00:17:02,499 WHY DO I SAY "THANK YOU" ? 347 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:05,024 BECAUSE THEY NEVER SEEM OLD, 348 00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:06,590 THEY ALWAYS SEEM NEW, 349 00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:08,201 THOSE 3 LITTLE WORDS, 350 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,246 "PLEASE" AND "THANK YOU." 351 00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:28,047 ♪ JINGLE BELLS CHECKBOOK SWELLS ♪ 352 00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:29,570 ♪ BIG DEALS ON THE WAY ♪♪ 353 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:33,400 HEY, BABE, PARK IT IN THE SHADE. WHAT DO YOU SAY ? ALL RIGHT. 354 00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,619 COME ALONG, CHILDREN. 355 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,273 BE CAREFUL NOW. 356 00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:38,492 COME ON BOYS, QUICKLY. 357 00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:39,841 BYE-BYE. 358 00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:42,365 YOU CAN GO IN NOW. 359 00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:43,932 HELLO, JOE ! 360 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,847 THIS IS INDEED A PLEASURE. 361 00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:48,023 HELLO. DO I KNOW YOU ? 362 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,981 YES, YOU DO. I DO ? 363 00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:52,810 WHAT I'’M GOING TO TELL YOU MAY SOUND FANTASTIC, 364 00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:55,335 BUT PLEASE SUSPEND DISBELIEF... 365 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:57,293 UNTIL I'’VE GOTTEN THROUGH IT. 366 00:17:57,424 --> 00:18:00,035 YOUR NAME WAS ORIGINALLY ON A LIST... 367 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,037 WITH SEVERAL HUNDRED OTHERS. 368 00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,344 SLOWLY, FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER, 369 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:06,868 THE OTHER NAMES WERE ELIMINATED. 370 00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:09,088 THE PROCESS TOOK LONGER THAN I THOUGHT. 371 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,307 BUT NOW, I'’M SURE... 372 00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:14,397 I HAVE THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB. 373 00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:15,920 JOB ? WHAT JOB ? 374 00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:18,184 I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT ? 375 00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:22,013 JOE, YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE NEW-- 376 00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:23,406 EXCUSE ME, POP. THIS IS IT, JOEY. 377 00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:26,105 THE HAND OF FATE IS REACHING OUT TO YOU. 378 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:29,064 I KNOW HOW BROKEN UP YOU ARE ABOUT YOUR SHOW BEING BOUNCED, 379 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,501 BUT YOU'’VE GOT A SHOT FOR THE LEAD IN A MOVIE. 380 00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:33,503 WHAT'’S THE MOVIE ABOUT ? 381 00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,505 A HOLIDAY FLICK CALLED "CHRISTMAS SLEIGH." 382 00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,204 BLAKE FARRELL HAD THE LEAD. 383 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,728 AT THE LAST MINUTE, HE GOES SKIING, FALLS ON HIS PUSS, 384 00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,730 AND WRECKS UP A $5,000 NOSE JOB. 385 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,558 DO YOU LOVE IT ? I LOVE IT, YES. 386 00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,386 TALK ABOUT LUCK, RIGHT ? 387 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:48,257 THE INTERVIEW IS IN A COUPLE OF HOURS. 388 00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:51,042 I WANT YOU TO TINT YOUR HAIR AND LOSE THE BEARD. 389 00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:52,740 NO, JOE, NO ! 390 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:55,525 DON'’T GO LOOKING LIKE HIM. YOU'’RE SET WITH MY HAIRSTYLIST. 391 00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:58,354 DEREK CAN MAKE A HAIR BLOWER DO EVERYTHING EXCEPT SIT UP AND BARK. 392 00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:00,008 BUT YOUR BEARD IS WONDERFUL ! 393 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,097 THANKS. I THINK SO TOO, MARTY. 394 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,534 WHO IS THIS GUY ? ALREADY, I DON'’T LIKE HIM. 395 00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,449 MY NAME IS SANT-- EXCUSE ME, MR. SANTOS. 396 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,930 WE'’RE HAVING A CONVERSATION. MAY WE CONTINUE, PLEASE ? 397 00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:10,975 S'’IL VOUS PLAIT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 398 00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,455 MY GOODNESS, MY SACK ! 399 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:21,377 I CAN'’T BELIEVE I LEFT IT. 400 00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,685 I MUST REALLY BE SLIPPING. 401 00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,384 YOU'’RE ALWAYS PULLING THIS STUFF, ERNEST; 402 00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:29,907 KNOCKING DOWN THE METERS, 403 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,432 GIVING FREE RIDES TO EVERY HOBO YOU COME ACROSS. 404 00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:34,782 BUT MR. DILLIS, THIS WASN'’T JUST A HOBO. 405 00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,697 THIS GUY WAS DIFFERENT. 406 00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:38,002 CALL IT CLAIRVOYANCE, 407 00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,353 CALL IT "EXTRA-SENSITORY PERSPIRATION." 408 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:41,789 I JUST HAD THIS HUNCH. 409 00:19:41,919 --> 00:19:43,965 I AM NOT RUNNING A CHARITY OPERATION HERE. 410 00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:46,794 THIS IS A BUSINESS, AND WE'’RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE MONEY, 411 00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:49,362 AND GOOD SAMARITANS LIKE YOU DON'’T MAKE MONEY ! 412 00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:51,190 I'’VE HAD IT WITH YOU, ERNEST. 413 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,495 YOU'’RE FIRED ! 414 00:19:58,371 --> 00:20:01,287 ERNEST, IT WAS A DEAD-END JOB, ANYWAY. 415 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:04,246 I MEAN, IT'’S NOWHERE WORKING FOR A GUY LIKE THAT. 416 00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:06,292 IF THERE HADN'’T BEEN CHILDREN PRESENT, 417 00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:08,642 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A VERY UGLY SCENE INDEED. 418 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:09,773 KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 419 00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:12,211 HEY, TAKE THIS WITH YOU ! 420 00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:15,649 [ Jingle ] 421 00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:18,304 WHY DIDN'’T YOU JUST TELL HIM YOU WERE ROBBED ? 422 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:22,046 THIS COULD HAVE ALL BEEN AVOIDED IF YOU'’D JUST LIED. 423 00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:23,265 MERRY CHRISTMAS ! 424 00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:25,615 OOH ! 425 00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:29,184 ERNEST, YOU ARE IN SERIOUS NEED OF HELP. 426 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:30,925 OOH. 427 00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:34,276 WAIT A MINUTE. STAND FAST, BOBBY. [ Scratch, Scratch ] 428 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:36,844 I THINK I HEAR SOMETHING. 429 00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:37,627 [ Crunch ] 430 00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:38,846 AHHHH ! 431 00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,327 [ Whoosh ] 432 00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:46,027 DO YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THE CAB, 433 00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:48,682 BESIDE THE FACT THAT IT WAS YELLOW ? 434 00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,032 NO "WORRELL" AT CITY CAB. 435 00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,990 I CAN TRY METRO. 436 00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:56,907 I KEPT TRACK OF HIM UNTIL HE WAS 11 OR SO; 437 00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:58,692 ERNEST, I MEAN. 438 00:20:58,822 --> 00:21:00,694 WHAT A GOOD BOY. 439 00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:03,653 NOT VERY BRIGHT. 440 00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:05,960 HE GREW UP WITH THIS GUY. 441 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:08,876 I THINK HIS NAME WAS VERN. 442 00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:11,618 WHAT IS WITH YOU AND THIS RUMMY ? 443 00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:13,881 YOU'’VE ALREADY BLOWN YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH DEREK. 444 00:21:14,011 --> 00:21:16,579 HE'’S A NICE OLD MAN. HE SEEMS A LITTLE CONFUSED. 445 00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:19,278 I THINK WE CAN TAKE A LITTLE TIME TO HELP HIM OUT. 446 00:21:19,408 --> 00:21:20,583 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 447 00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:22,324 HEAD ON OVER THERE. 448 00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:24,283 I'’LL HELP MR. WHISKERS FIND HIS WHATEVER-IT-IS, 449 00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:26,894 AND MEET YOU AT THE STUDIO. 450 00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:29,766 MR. SANTOS, LISTEN, I'’M SORRY, 451 00:21:29,897 --> 00:21:32,073 BUT I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT I REALLY HAVE TO KEEP. 452 00:21:32,203 --> 00:21:33,466 MARTY WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. 453 00:21:33,596 --> 00:21:36,033 BUT, JOE, I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 454 00:21:36,164 --> 00:21:38,601 [ Marty ] YES, YES, YES, WHATEVER IT IS, MR. SANTOS, 455 00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:41,691 YOU CAN TELL ME. I'’M MARTY BROCK, JOE'S AGENT. 456 00:21:41,822 --> 00:21:44,433 SO, MR. SANTOS, DO YOU LIVE AROUND HERE ? 457 00:21:44,564 --> 00:21:47,175 NO. I HAVE TO GO AND FIND JOE. EXCUSE ME. 458 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:51,048 DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY, ANY FRIENDS, ANY MONEY ? 459 00:21:52,659 --> 00:21:56,576 I HAD SOME U.S. CURRENCY; RATHER A LARGE AMOUNT. 460 00:21:56,706 --> 00:21:59,883 I GAVE IT AWAY LAST YEAR... 461 00:22:00,014 --> 00:22:03,452 TO A 5-YEAR-OLD NAMED BOBBY BIDDERMAN. 462 00:22:03,583 --> 00:22:06,150 WHAT ABOUT NOW, MR. SANTOS ? 463 00:22:06,281 --> 00:22:08,327 THE NAME IS SANTA CLAUS. 464 00:22:08,457 --> 00:22:10,111 OOH. 465 00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:18,598 WHY DON'’T YOU JUST STAY RIGHT HERE... 466 00:22:18,728 --> 00:22:19,860 AND I'’LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. 467 00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:21,340 OKIE-DOKIE ? 468 00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:22,950 GOOD. 469 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,473 YES. 470 00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:30,697 SUCH A NICE MAN. 471 00:22:31,741 --> 00:22:34,048 VERN, WHAT A GUY. 472 00:22:34,178 --> 00:22:36,180 YEAH, ME AND VERN GO BACK A LONG WAY. 473 00:22:36,311 --> 00:22:38,444 WE SPEND THE HOLIDAYS TOGETHER. 474 00:22:38,574 --> 00:22:41,403 I HELP HIM WORK ON HIS HOUSE AND STUFF LIKE THAT. 475 00:22:41,534 --> 00:22:44,188 ME AND OLD VERN ARE TIGHTER THAN STRETCHED DUCT TAPE. 476 00:22:44,319 --> 00:22:47,017 I GUESS YOU COULD SAY WE'’RE CUT FROM THE SAME BARK. 477 00:22:47,148 --> 00:22:49,324 OLD VERN'’S DONE PRETTY GOOD FOR HIMSELF, THOUGH. 478 00:22:49,455 --> 00:22:51,631 IF IT WEREN'’T FOR ME, HE WOULDN'’T BE WHERE HE IS TODAY. 479 00:22:51,761 --> 00:22:54,416 I TAUGHT HIM ALL HE KNOWS ABOUT NUCLEAR PHYSICS. 480 00:22:54,547 --> 00:22:55,983 KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 481 00:22:56,113 --> 00:22:57,854 YEAH, VERN'’S ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE ME. 482 00:22:57,985 --> 00:23:01,205 HE'’S MY BEST BUDDY, AND HE THROWS THE GREATEST PARTIES. 483 00:23:01,336 --> 00:23:03,991 COURSE, WE'’RE A LITTLE EARLY, SO WE CAN HELP HIM DECORATE, 484 00:23:04,121 --> 00:23:06,080 AND MAYBE PUT OUT THE FOOD. 485 00:23:06,210 --> 00:23:07,386 THOSE LITTLE FINGER SANDWICHES, 486 00:23:07,516 --> 00:23:09,997 AND CHEESEBALLS, AND BEAN DIP ! 487 00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:11,694 I HOPE HE'’S GOT SOMETHING I CAN EAT, 488 00:23:11,825 --> 00:23:14,567 NOT JUST LOTS OF THINGS MADE OF WHITE SUGAR AND RED MEAT. 489 00:23:14,697 --> 00:23:18,048 I THINK EATING RED MEAT MAKES PEOPLE OVERLY AGGRESSIVE. 490 00:23:18,179 --> 00:23:20,573 THEY KILL PEOPLE AND STUFF. 491 00:23:20,703 --> 00:23:21,748 KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 492 00:23:21,878 --> 00:23:23,924 YOU'’RE AS RIGHT AS RAIN, PUDDIN'’. 493 00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:26,753 PORK'’S MY MEAT. 494 00:23:29,582 --> 00:23:31,453 HO, HO, HO, VERN ! MERRY CHRISTM-- 495 00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:35,414 I THOUGHT YOU SAID THIS VERN WAS A FRIEND OF YOURS. 496 00:23:35,544 --> 00:23:36,980 VERN'’S JUST LIKE THAT. 497 00:23:37,111 --> 00:23:38,765 HE'’LL DO ANYTHING FOR A LAUGH. 498 00:23:38,895 --> 00:23:40,070 COME ON. 499 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,422 IT'’S SANTA'S LITTLE PARTY HELPER ! HI ! 500 00:23:43,552 --> 00:23:45,424 THIS IS HARMONY. [ Crack ] 501 00:23:45,554 --> 00:23:48,427 SHE'’S BEEN HAVING A TOUGH TIME, SO I'’M HELPING HER OUT. 502 00:23:48,557 --> 00:23:50,690 YOU KNOW, KIND OF A "FATHER IMAGE" THING. 503 00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:52,953 "AS THE TWIG IS BENT, SO GROWS THE TREE." 504 00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:54,520 KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 505 00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:57,261 IT'’LL LOOK GOOD RIGHT OVER HERE. 506 00:23:57,392 --> 00:23:59,612 [ Harmony ] NICE PLACE. IT'’S REALLY YOU. 507 00:23:59,742 --> 00:24:01,440 YEP, I'’LL JUST SET IT RIGHT IN THERE. 508 00:24:01,570 --> 00:24:03,050 [ Crunch ] 509 00:24:03,180 --> 00:24:04,138 UMPH ! 510 00:24:04,268 --> 00:24:05,444 UGH ! 511 00:24:05,574 --> 00:24:08,011 DON'’T WORRY, VERN, I'’LL MAKE IT FIT. 512 00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:10,361 [ Creak, Creak ] 513 00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:12,015 UGH ! 514 00:24:12,146 --> 00:24:15,802 JUST HANG SOME TINSEL AND LIGHTS ON THIS PUPPY-- 515 00:24:15,932 --> 00:24:17,630 AAOOH ! 516 00:24:18,848 --> 00:24:20,502 PARTY PUNCH. 517 00:24:20,633 --> 00:24:22,286 YEAH, THAT OUGHT TO HOLD. 518 00:24:22,417 --> 00:24:24,027 [ Tree Creaks ] 519 00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:26,029 [ Slurp ] 520 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,031 AHH ! 521 00:24:28,162 --> 00:24:29,729 SUPERB. [ Crack ] 522 00:24:29,859 --> 00:24:31,034 [ Crunch ] 523 00:24:31,165 --> 00:24:33,254 I'’VE GOT TO FIND JOE. 524 00:24:33,384 --> 00:24:34,908 IF I DON'’T FIND HIM, 525 00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:36,953 SO MANY CHILDREN WILL BE DISAPPOINTED. 526 00:24:37,084 --> 00:24:38,999 OFFICER, YOU'’VE GOT TO LET ME GO. 527 00:24:40,391 --> 00:24:43,307 DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT WAS NECESSARY ? 528 00:24:43,438 --> 00:24:45,396 HE SEEMED SO HARMLESS, 529 00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:47,224 AND IN A STRANGE WAY, SINCERE. 530 00:24:47,355 --> 00:24:49,400 COME ON. HE'’S OBVIOUSLY DISORIENTED. 531 00:24:49,531 --> 00:24:51,925 A TRANSIENT, WALKING AROUND WITH PLAY MONEY IN HIS POCKET, 532 00:24:52,055 --> 00:24:53,753 PRETENDING TO BE SANTA CLAUS. 533 00:24:53,883 --> 00:24:55,537 IS THAT WHO HE THINKS HE IS ? 534 00:24:55,668 --> 00:24:57,583 HIS REAL NAME IS SANTOS. 535 00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:08,942 HE GOT FIRED. 536 00:25:09,072 --> 00:25:11,901 SOME CRAZY OLD GUY STIFFED HIM FOR A $30 CAB RIDE, 537 00:25:12,032 --> 00:25:13,381 AND INSTEAD OF CALLING THE COPS, 538 00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,949 BOBO HERE KNOCKED DOWN THE METER. 539 00:25:16,079 --> 00:25:18,386 ARE THOSE BACON CHEESEBURGERS ? 540 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,867 VERN, IT AIN'’T LIKE THE CAB COMPANY CAN'’T AFFORD... 541 00:25:20,997 --> 00:25:24,174 TO GIVE SOMEBODY A FREE RIDE EVERY NOW AND THEN. 542 00:25:24,305 --> 00:25:26,481 AND AFTER ALL, VERN, IT'’S CHRISTMASTIME. 543 00:25:26,612 --> 00:25:27,700 IT'’S A TIME FOR GIVING. 544 00:25:27,830 --> 00:25:29,484 [ Rip ] 545 00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:32,487 A TIME FOR CHESTNUTS OPENING ON A ROASTED FIRE. 546 00:25:32,618 --> 00:25:33,836 [ Rip ] 547 00:25:35,229 --> 00:25:37,666 A TIME FOR SLEIGH BELLS TINKLING IN THE SNOW. 548 00:25:37,797 --> 00:25:39,189 UGH ! 549 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,757 VERN, THAT PUPPY'’S REALLY STUCK. KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 550 00:25:41,888 --> 00:25:44,194 [ Rip ] 551 00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:45,892 YOU KNOW, VERN, 552 00:25:46,022 --> 00:25:48,808 IT LOOKS LIKE A TRANSMUTATION OF YOUR 110 AND YOUR 220. 553 00:25:48,938 --> 00:25:49,983 KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 554 00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:50,592 [ Pop ] 555 00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:54,509 [ Pop ] 556 00:25:55,945 --> 00:25:58,644 [ Santa ] I ARRIVED HERE JUST TODAY. 557 00:25:58,774 --> 00:26:00,689 I HAD A SIMPLE JOB TO DO, 558 00:26:00,820 --> 00:26:04,650 AND THEN, EVERYTHING STARTED TO GET UNRAVELLED. 559 00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:07,174 FIRST, I LOST MY SACK, 560 00:26:07,304 --> 00:26:09,176 AND NOW THIS. 561 00:26:09,306 --> 00:26:11,613 IF YOU'’D ONLY TAKE A MOMENT AND JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND-- 562 00:26:11,744 --> 00:26:12,832 COME ON, POPS, 563 00:26:12,962 --> 00:26:14,877 WE GOT SOME PAPERWORK TO DO. 564 00:26:15,008 --> 00:26:17,140 YOU'’RE MAKING A VERY BIG MISTAKE. 565 00:26:19,403 --> 00:26:21,405 HEY, LOOK AT THIS. 566 00:26:21,536 --> 00:26:24,583 [ Officer ] I NEVER SAW ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE. 567 00:26:25,801 --> 00:26:27,324 "I'’M FRIGHTENED." 568 00:26:27,455 --> 00:26:30,284 "DON'’T WORRY. IT'’S ONLY THUNDER. 569 00:26:30,414 --> 00:26:32,808 "WE'’LL ALL BE SAFE HERE... 570 00:26:32,939 --> 00:26:34,201 TOGETHER." 571 00:26:35,245 --> 00:26:36,595 OH, GREAT. 572 00:26:36,725 --> 00:26:39,249 YOU KIDS ARE TERRIFIC ACTORS. YOU REALLY ARE. 573 00:26:39,380 --> 00:26:42,078 I WANT TO THANK YOU BECAUSE YOU HELPED ME A LOT. 574 00:26:42,209 --> 00:26:44,080 I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS. 575 00:26:45,473 --> 00:26:47,257 HE'’S A NATURAL WITH THE KIDS. 576 00:26:47,388 --> 00:26:49,782 HE'’S ALREADY GOT THEM SAYING "PLEASE" AND "THANK YOU." 577 00:26:49,912 --> 00:26:51,610 YOU'’RE THE DIRECTOR, CARL, 578 00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:54,787 BUT PERSONALLY, I THINK THERE'’S CHEMISTRY HERE. 579 00:26:54,917 --> 00:26:56,963 CHEMISTRY IS VERY IMPORTANT. 580 00:26:57,093 --> 00:26:58,225 CHEMISTRY. 581 00:26:58,355 --> 00:27:00,401 YOU'’VE GOT IT, THEY WANT IT. REALLY ? 582 00:27:00,531 --> 00:27:02,055 YEAH, YEAH. 583 00:27:02,185 --> 00:27:03,578 THEY WANT TO SHOOT SOME TESTS TOMORROW, 584 00:27:03,709 --> 00:27:05,275 BUT DON'’T WORRY ABOUT THAT. GREAT ! 585 00:27:05,406 --> 00:27:07,408 BY THE WAY, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OLD GUY ? 586 00:27:07,538 --> 00:27:10,759 FORGET HIM. YOU'’VE GOT A NEW CAREER ABOUT TO FIRE UP. 587 00:27:10,890 --> 00:27:13,675 GOOD, BUT DID HE EVER FIND HIS SACK OR WHATEVER IT WAS ? 588 00:27:13,806 --> 00:27:15,198 YEAH, YEAH. TAKEN CARE OF. 589 00:27:16,025 --> 00:27:17,940 [ Squeak ] 590 00:27:18,071 --> 00:27:19,681 [ Squeak ] 591 00:27:19,812 --> 00:27:21,465 [ Squeak ] 592 00:27:21,596 --> 00:27:25,034 I KNOW WHAT WE NEED, VERN. BOLT CUTTERS ! 593 00:27:25,165 --> 00:27:26,035 [ Splat ] 594 00:27:30,997 --> 00:27:32,955 [ Jingle ] 595 00:27:40,223 --> 00:27:42,138 [ Jingle ] 596 00:28:00,461 --> 00:28:02,376 [ Giggles ] 597 00:28:05,901 --> 00:28:07,686 HE'’S HIM. 598 00:28:10,732 --> 00:28:13,648 [ Harmony ] THERE'’S NO SUCH THING. THINK ABOUT IT; 599 00:28:13,779 --> 00:28:15,998 A GUY WHO FLIES AROUND THE WHOLE WORLD... 600 00:28:16,129 --> 00:28:17,608 IN ONE NIGHT. 601 00:28:17,739 --> 00:28:19,785 IT JUST DOESN'’T QUITE CORRESPOND... 602 00:28:19,915 --> 00:28:22,004 WITH THE LAWS OF TIME AND TRAVEL. 603 00:28:22,135 --> 00:28:23,919 NOW, NOW, NOW, IT'’S POSSIBLE. 604 00:28:24,050 --> 00:28:26,705 TAKE THE INTERNATIONAL DATE LINE, MULTIPLY IT BY THE TIME ZONES, 605 00:28:26,835 --> 00:28:29,055 DIVIDE IT BY THE ACCELERATED ROTATION OF THE EARTH. 606 00:28:29,185 --> 00:28:31,535 NOW, CARRY THE ONE. 607 00:28:31,666 --> 00:28:34,321 ALLOWING FOR THE VERNAL EQUINOX ON THE TROPIC OF CANCER, 608 00:28:34,451 --> 00:28:36,105 HE MIGHT JUST PULL IT OFF. 609 00:28:36,236 --> 00:28:37,672 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 610 00:28:37,803 --> 00:28:40,762 LET'’S JUST SAY THIS GUY REALLY IS SANTA CLAUS, OKAY ? 611 00:28:40,893 --> 00:28:42,416 WHY IS HE RIDING AROUND... 612 00:28:42,546 --> 00:28:44,984 IN AIRPLANES AND TAXICABS ? 613 00:28:45,114 --> 00:28:46,725 WHERE'’S HIS SLEIGH ? 614 00:28:46,855 --> 00:28:49,336 WHERE ARE HIS REINDEER ? 615 00:28:49,466 --> 00:28:52,339 [ Chomping And Snorting ] 616 00:29:07,833 --> 00:29:09,312 YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK THAT IS ? 617 00:29:09,443 --> 00:29:10,749 [ Chomp, Snort ] 618 00:29:10,879 --> 00:29:11,750 I THINK THOSE ARE... 619 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,621 LATVIAN GOATS. 620 00:29:16,058 --> 00:29:17,364 WAIT A MINUTE. 621 00:29:17,494 --> 00:29:18,844 IT-- IT COULD BE ALIENS. 622 00:29:18,974 --> 00:29:20,584 [ Whoosh ] 623 00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:25,633 [ Whoosh ] 624 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:27,722 [ Knock ] IS ANYBODY IN THERE ? 625 00:29:27,853 --> 00:29:31,030 SANTA, ARE YOU IN THERE ? 626 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,205 [ Knock, Knock ] 627 00:29:33,380 --> 00:29:36,165 I'’VE GOT YOUR SACK. IT'’S SAFE. 628 00:29:36,296 --> 00:29:38,689 I TOLD YOU, THEY'’RE ALL GONE. 629 00:29:40,387 --> 00:29:42,215 WHAT IS THIS ABOUT, ANYWAY ? 630 00:29:42,345 --> 00:29:43,869 I DON'’T KNOW. 631 00:29:43,999 --> 00:29:45,871 WELL, I THINK I KNOW, BUT-- 632 00:29:46,001 --> 00:29:47,307 COME OVER HERE A SECOND. 633 00:29:47,437 --> 00:29:49,222 I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 634 00:29:50,353 --> 00:29:51,398 WATCH THIS. 635 00:29:51,528 --> 00:29:53,400 [ Jingle ] 636 00:29:56,577 --> 00:29:58,187 [ Giggles ] 637 00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:02,365 WHOA, GROOVY TUESDAY ! 638 00:30:02,496 --> 00:30:05,586 I AM GOING TO SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY... 639 00:30:05,716 --> 00:30:08,023 REACH INTO THIS GLOWING BAG... 640 00:30:08,154 --> 00:30:11,244 AND SEE IF MY FINELY HONED INSTINCTS... 641 00:30:11,374 --> 00:30:12,767 ARE CORRECT. 642 00:30:12,898 --> 00:30:14,160 NO, NO. DON'’T DO IT. 643 00:30:14,290 --> 00:30:16,423 I MEAN, YOU DON'’T KNOW WHAT'’S IN THAT BAG. 644 00:30:16,553 --> 00:30:18,207 YOU DON'’T KNOW WHERE THAT BAG'’S BEEN. 645 00:30:18,338 --> 00:30:19,774 IT COULD BE SOME KIND OF... 646 00:30:19,905 --> 00:30:22,429 PORTABLE CORE-MELTDOWN OR SOMETHING. 647 00:30:22,559 --> 00:30:23,778 NO PROBLEM. 648 00:30:23,909 --> 00:30:25,780 [ Grunts ] 649 00:30:25,911 --> 00:30:28,522 OH, AHH, OH. 650 00:30:30,089 --> 00:30:31,742 [ Harmony ] CAREFUL, CAREFUL ! 651 00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:33,353 OOH-OOH. 652 00:30:36,878 --> 00:30:39,011 I TOLD YOU. NOW YOU'’RE NUKED, MAN. 653 00:30:39,141 --> 00:30:42,449 UNLESS I'’M WRONG, AND I HARDLY EVER AM, 654 00:30:42,579 --> 00:30:43,885 THIS IS FOR YOU. 655 00:30:44,016 --> 00:30:45,626 [ Zing ] 656 00:30:45,756 --> 00:30:48,411 NOW AIN'’T THAT JUST EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS ? 657 00:30:48,542 --> 00:30:50,936 ARE YOU CRAZY ? TOTALLY UN-AWESOME. 658 00:30:51,066 --> 00:30:53,460 NO, MAN, GET WITH IT. I NEED SOMETHING MAJOR. 659 00:30:53,590 --> 00:30:55,897 OKAY, THAT WAS JUST FOR PRACTICE. 660 00:30:56,028 --> 00:30:57,986 NOW, I'’M IN THE GROOVE. 661 00:30:58,117 --> 00:31:01,555 NOW, I AM AT ONE WITH THE MAGIC. 662 00:31:01,685 --> 00:31:03,905 HOW ABOUT THIS ? 663 00:31:04,036 --> 00:31:05,907 LIKE IT ? 664 00:31:06,038 --> 00:31:07,343 THAT'’S YOU. 665 00:31:07,474 --> 00:31:09,955 HA-HA-HA-HA-HA ! 666 00:31:10,085 --> 00:31:11,043 AH-HA ! 667 00:31:14,176 --> 00:31:15,874 [ Flap, Flap ] 668 00:31:17,266 --> 00:31:20,313 COME ON, ERNEST. IT DOESN'’T WORK FOR YOU. 669 00:31:21,401 --> 00:31:22,619 NAH ! 670 00:31:25,144 --> 00:31:27,233 RIGHT THROUGH HERE. COME ON ! 671 00:31:27,363 --> 00:31:29,191 LOOK, GUY, IF YOUR NOSE IS CLEAN, 672 00:31:29,322 --> 00:31:31,933 YOU'’LL GET A HOT MEAL AND BE OUT ON THE STREET... 673 00:31:32,064 --> 00:31:34,109 BEFORE YOU CAN SAY, "FROSTY THE SNOWMAN." 674 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,678 BUT IT WOULD BE A LOT BETTER IF YOU'’D GIVE ME YOUR REAL NAME. 675 00:31:37,808 --> 00:31:38,679 I'’VE TOLD YOU. 676 00:31:38,809 --> 00:31:40,463 I'’VE TOLD EVERYBODY. 677 00:31:40,594 --> 00:31:42,509 MY NAME IS SANTA CLAUS. 678 00:31:42,639 --> 00:31:45,381 OKAY, WE'’LL JUST GO WITH "JOHN DOE." 679 00:31:45,512 --> 00:31:47,601 NOW, SEE HERE. 680 00:31:47,731 --> 00:31:50,778 THIS IS A REALLY HORRIBLE MISUNDERSTANDING. 681 00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:54,216 I NEED TO FIND A MAN NAMED JOE CARRUTHERS. 682 00:31:54,347 --> 00:31:56,001 YOU HAVE ONE PHONE CALL. 683 00:31:57,698 --> 00:32:01,223 I CAN'’T EXPLAIN SOMETHING LIKE THIS ON THE TELEPHONE. 684 00:32:01,354 --> 00:32:03,747 WELL, UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME MAGICAL POWERS, 685 00:32:03,878 --> 00:32:06,185 THAT'’S THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL TALK TO HIM TONIGHT. 686 00:32:06,315 --> 00:32:08,927 AGE ? 687 00:32:09,057 --> 00:32:11,016 ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-ONE. 688 00:32:13,192 --> 00:32:14,933 WE'’VE GOT TO FIND HIM. 689 00:32:15,063 --> 00:32:17,152 WE'’VE GOT TO GET THIS SACK BACK INTO THE RIGHT HANDS. 690 00:32:17,283 --> 00:32:18,893 YOU SAW HOW IT WAS. 691 00:32:19,024 --> 00:32:21,026 EVEN ME, NOTED "PHILANTHROPIC" THAT I AM, 692 00:32:21,156 --> 00:32:23,289 COULDN'’T GET THE RIGHT STUFF OUT OF THIS SACK. 693 00:32:23,419 --> 00:32:24,768 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS ? 694 00:32:24,899 --> 00:32:26,901 IT REALLY WORKS ! 695 00:32:27,032 --> 00:32:29,904 IT MEANS THE END OF CHRISTMAS ON THIS PLANET... 696 00:32:30,035 --> 00:32:31,819 AS WE KNOW IT. 697 00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:34,822 THERE'’S ONLY ONE PERSON AUTHORIZED TO OPERATE THIS SACK: 698 00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:38,217 HIS BIG RED ONENESS, "THE CLAUS." 699 00:32:45,093 --> 00:32:47,617 [ Officer ] OPEN "D" CELL. 700 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,669 [ Officer ] CLOSE "D." 701 00:32:55,799 --> 00:32:57,976 [ Prisoner ] THIS AIN'’T NO FLOPHOUSE, BUDDY. 702 00:33:00,065 --> 00:33:01,892 [ Prisoner ] I DON'’T BELIEVE IT. 703 00:33:02,023 --> 00:33:04,112 THIS PLACE IS FULL ALREADY. 704 00:33:05,374 --> 00:33:07,289 [ Laughter ] 705 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,280 [ Smack ] 706 00:33:41,410 --> 00:33:42,585 RISE AND SHINE ! 707 00:33:42,716 --> 00:33:44,283 IT'’S TIME TO PUT FUEL IN THE TANK... 708 00:33:44,413 --> 00:33:46,241 AND RUBBER ON THE ROAD; 709 00:33:46,372 --> 00:33:48,113 AND REUNITE OLD FATHER CHRISTMAS, 710 00:33:48,243 --> 00:33:50,158 A CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE, 711 00:33:50,289 --> 00:33:51,290 WITH HIS MAGIC SACK. 712 00:33:52,552 --> 00:33:54,510 ERNEST, I'’M NOT MUCH OF A MORNING PERSON. 713 00:33:54,641 --> 00:33:57,426 DO YOU THINK WE COULD JUST KEEP IT DOWN TO A DULL ROAR ? 714 00:33:57,557 --> 00:34:01,126 WHEN I SEE HIS FROSTINESS, I'’M GOING TO ASK HIM... 715 00:34:01,256 --> 00:34:04,259 HOW HE GOT IN MY HOUSE WHEN I WAS A KID, 716 00:34:04,390 --> 00:34:06,696 BECAUSE WE DIDN'’T EVEN HAVE A CHIMNEY. 717 00:34:06,827 --> 00:34:08,698 I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE A THEORY ON THIS ? 718 00:34:08,829 --> 00:34:10,178 MY THEORY IS... 719 00:34:10,309 --> 00:34:12,398 HE GOT IN THROUGH THE FORCED-AIR HEATING SYSTEM. 720 00:34:13,834 --> 00:34:15,879 YOU KILL ME. 721 00:34:16,010 --> 00:34:19,492 YOU TALK LIKE YOU BELIEVE ALL THIS STUFF; 722 00:34:19,622 --> 00:34:22,234 ALL THIS CHRISTMAS, SANTA CLAUS, 723 00:34:22,364 --> 00:34:24,366 FA-LA-LA-LA-LA STUFF. 724 00:34:24,497 --> 00:34:26,368 OF COURSE, I BELIEVE. 725 00:34:26,499 --> 00:34:28,066 CHRISTMAS IS A KNOWN FACT. 726 00:34:28,196 --> 00:34:29,937 MILLIONS OF PEOPLE, ALL OVER THE WORLD, 727 00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:32,505 CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS EVERY SINGLE YEAR; 728 00:34:32,635 --> 00:34:33,984 WITH COLORFUL CARDS, 729 00:34:34,115 --> 00:34:37,162 AND FESTIVELY WRAPPED PACKAGES WITH BIG BOWS. 730 00:34:37,292 --> 00:34:40,469 ONE CHRISTMAS EVE, I WAS LYING IN BED. 731 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,733 I THOUGHT I HEARD A NOISE IN THE HEAT DUCTS. 732 00:34:43,864 --> 00:34:45,866 AND YOU THOUGHT IT WAS REINDEER ON THE ROOF ? 733 00:34:45,996 --> 00:34:48,303 NO, I THOUGHT IT WAS SANTA CLAUS... 734 00:34:48,434 --> 00:34:50,262 TRAPPED IN THE HEATING SYSTEM. 735 00:34:50,392 --> 00:34:52,438 I PICTURED HIM WANDERING AROUND IN THERE... 736 00:34:52,568 --> 00:34:54,266 TRYING TO FIND A WAY OUT, 737 00:34:54,396 --> 00:34:58,008 AND FINALLY TURNING HIMSELF INTO SORT OF THIS BIG BLOB, 738 00:34:58,139 --> 00:35:01,708 AND OOZING THROUGH THE VENT COVERS. 739 00:35:04,667 --> 00:35:06,713 YOU'’RE A SICK MAN, ERNEST. 740 00:35:06,843 --> 00:35:09,194 WE'’VE GOT TO EAT AND FIND "THE CLAUS." 741 00:35:09,324 --> 00:35:13,023 WITH MY TRACKING SKILLS, THAT SHOULD BE NO PROBLEMO. 742 00:35:13,154 --> 00:35:14,808 COMPRENDO ? 743 00:35:17,027 --> 00:35:18,028 [ Sizzle ] 744 00:35:18,159 --> 00:35:20,030 AHHH. 745 00:35:20,161 --> 00:35:23,382 I LIKE LOTS AND LOTS OF BUTTER WITH MINE, DON'’T YOU ? 746 00:35:23,512 --> 00:35:25,297 LOTS OF BUTTER. 747 00:35:25,427 --> 00:35:26,602 OOOH. 748 00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:29,562 [ Snort ] 749 00:35:30,911 --> 00:35:32,565 OH, YEAH. 750 00:35:32,695 --> 00:35:34,915 ALIEN GOATS, ALL RIGHT. 751 00:35:35,045 --> 00:35:37,265 I READ ABOUT THIS IN THE ENQUIRER. 752 00:35:46,927 --> 00:35:49,147 REINDEER ? BUT I KNEW THAT ! 753 00:35:49,277 --> 00:35:51,236 IT'’S PART OF THE SAME SPECIES. 754 00:35:51,366 --> 00:35:53,020 [ Whoosh ] 755 00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:55,196 THAT'’S SIX OUT OF EIGHT. 756 00:35:57,633 --> 00:36:01,463 BOBBY, THERE IS SOMETHING REAL SIGNIFICANT GOING ON HERE. 757 00:36:04,423 --> 00:36:09,167 ♪ FIVE GOLDEN RINGS 758 00:36:09,297 --> 00:36:11,952 ♪ FOUR CALLING BIRDS THREE FRENCH HENS ♪ 759 00:36:12,082 --> 00:36:13,475 ♪ TWO TURTLE DOVES 760 00:36:15,347 --> 00:36:17,827 [ Lone Male Voice ] ♪ AND A PARTRIDGE 761 00:36:17,958 --> 00:36:22,745 ♪ IN A PEAR TREE ♪ 762 00:36:28,838 --> 00:36:31,363 THIS ONE WAS MADE IN MRS. THOMPSON'’S ROOM. 763 00:36:31,493 --> 00:36:32,625 ISN'’T THAT NICE ? 764 00:36:32,755 --> 00:36:34,192 YOU HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL WHEN-- 765 00:36:35,976 --> 00:36:38,021 I NEED TO FIND THE MAN WHO WAS HERE YESTERDAY. 766 00:36:38,152 --> 00:36:39,197 WHAT'’S HIS NAME ? 767 00:36:41,677 --> 00:36:42,548 SANTA CLAUS. 768 00:36:42,678 --> 00:36:43,331 WHO ? 769 00:36:45,246 --> 00:36:46,247 SANTA CLAUS. 770 00:36:46,378 --> 00:36:47,379 WHAT'’D YOU SAY ? 771 00:36:47,509 --> 00:36:49,859 HIS NAME IS SANTA CLAUS. 772 00:36:52,035 --> 00:36:55,082 THAT'’S IT, YUCK IT UP. 773 00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:58,390 HE HAPPENS TO BE A CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE. 774 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,348 NA-NA, NA-NA-NA. 775 00:37:01,784 --> 00:37:04,439 FIFTH-GRADERS THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING. 776 00:37:04,570 --> 00:37:07,181 I KNOW WHO YOU'’RE TALKING ABOUT. 777 00:37:07,312 --> 00:37:10,489 HE'’S THAT POOR OLD MAN THE POLICE TOOK AWAY YESTERDAY. 778 00:37:10,619 --> 00:37:13,187 UH-UH-UH. 779 00:37:13,318 --> 00:37:15,363 SANTA CLAUS GOT BUSTED ? 780 00:37:16,756 --> 00:37:18,148 I GOTTA GO. 781 00:37:18,279 --> 00:37:20,281 WHAT I REALLY WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS... 782 00:37:23,153 --> 00:37:26,853 WAS A MILLION DOLLARS IN SMALL, UNMARKED BILLS. 783 00:37:28,333 --> 00:37:30,248 [ Jingle ] 784 00:37:31,553 --> 00:37:33,033 GUESS WHAT ! 785 00:37:33,163 --> 00:37:36,471 I WASN'’T DOING ANYTHING. I WAS GUARDING IT. 786 00:37:36,602 --> 00:37:38,691 SANTA'’S IN THE SLAMMER. 787 00:37:38,821 --> 00:37:40,693 WE'’VE GOT TO GET HIM OUT. 788 00:37:40,823 --> 00:37:42,521 IS VAGRANCY A CAPITAL CRIME ? 789 00:37:44,479 --> 00:37:45,567 [ Engine Starts ] 790 00:37:45,698 --> 00:37:46,699 [ Tires Screech ] 791 00:37:53,140 --> 00:37:54,707 NO, LADY, YOU CAN'’T HAVE THAT. 792 00:37:54,837 --> 00:37:56,274 PUT THAT BACK. 793 00:37:58,667 --> 00:38:00,321 I HATE TO INTERRUPT, CHIEF SPENKS, 794 00:38:00,452 --> 00:38:02,280 BUT HE'’S FROM THE GOVERNOR'’S OFFICE. 795 00:38:02,410 --> 00:38:04,325 GREAT, THAT'’S JUST WHAT I NEED TODAY; 796 00:38:04,456 --> 00:38:06,501 SOME KNOW-NOTHING FROM THE CAPITAL COMING DOWN HERE... 797 00:38:06,632 --> 00:38:08,286 AND TELLING ME HOW TO RUN MY-- 798 00:38:08,416 --> 00:38:11,680 HELLO, I'’M CHIEF SPENKS. HOW CAN I HELP YOU ? 799 00:38:11,811 --> 00:38:13,900 CLEMENTH, HERE. OSCAR CLEMENTH. 800 00:38:14,030 --> 00:38:15,771 I'’M WITH THE GOVERNOR'S STATE CORRECTIONAL... 801 00:38:15,902 --> 00:38:19,253 INSTITUTIONAL PRISONER FAIR TREATMENT TASK FORCE. 802 00:38:19,384 --> 00:38:20,863 AND THIS IS THE GOVERNOR'’S NIECE, 803 00:38:20,994 --> 00:38:22,212 MINDY. 804 00:38:23,475 --> 00:38:25,825 MINDY'’S WRITING A SCHOOL PAPER... 805 00:38:25,955 --> 00:38:28,306 ON "HOW GOVERNMENT REALLY WORKS." 806 00:38:28,436 --> 00:38:29,524 HOW NICE. 807 00:38:29,655 --> 00:38:33,049 THIS IS A SURPRISE INSPECTION, CHIEF. 808 00:38:34,137 --> 00:38:35,922 NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE. 809 00:38:36,052 --> 00:38:39,273 DO YOU NEED AN EDUCATION TO BE CHIEF, OR CAN ANYBODY DO IT ? 810 00:38:39,404 --> 00:38:41,231 WE HAD TO FIGHT THROUGH... 811 00:38:41,362 --> 00:38:43,973 AN ARMY OF TV CAMERAMEN JUST TO GET IN HERE. 812 00:38:44,104 --> 00:38:45,235 NOW, LOOK HERE-- 813 00:38:45,366 --> 00:38:49,065 IS THAT "SPINKS" OR "SPENKS" ? 814 00:38:49,196 --> 00:38:51,372 - NOW, LOOK-- - I CAN'’T TELL YOU WHAT A... 815 00:38:51,503 --> 00:38:54,332 PET PROJECT THIS IS OF GOVERNOR ELLINGTON'’S. 816 00:38:55,985 --> 00:38:58,423 TV CAMERAMEN. ARE WE COMMUNICATING HERE ? 817 00:38:59,598 --> 00:39:01,251 WERE YOU ELECTED INTO OFFICE, 818 00:39:01,382 --> 00:39:03,341 OR DID YOU JUST BUY YOUR WAY IN ? 819 00:39:03,471 --> 00:39:05,299 ISN'’T SHE A DOLL ? 820 00:39:07,736 --> 00:39:09,434 THE GOAL OF THIS FACILITY... 821 00:39:09,564 --> 00:39:13,046 IS TO REHABILITATE AND RETRAIN THE WHOLE MAN; 822 00:39:13,176 --> 00:39:17,442 AND TO MAKE POSSIBLE HIS SMOOTH REENTRY INTO SOCIETY, 823 00:39:17,572 --> 00:39:20,532 ONCE HE'’S PAID FOR THE CRIMES HE'’S COMMITTED. 824 00:39:20,662 --> 00:39:23,883 THESE ARE OUR MOST RECENT OFFENDERS. 825 00:39:26,015 --> 00:39:28,366 [ Officer ] OPEN "D" CELL. 826 00:39:28,496 --> 00:39:30,629 BE SURE TO TAKE COPIOUS NOTES, MINDY, 827 00:39:30,759 --> 00:39:32,195 AND WATCH THAT PENMANSHIP. 828 00:39:46,558 --> 00:39:48,342 WHO'’S THE OLD MAN ? 829 00:39:48,473 --> 00:39:49,691 UM, MR. SANTOS. 830 00:39:51,432 --> 00:39:53,216 MR. SANTOS, 831 00:39:53,347 --> 00:39:55,741 HOW HAVE YOU BEEN TREATED SINCE YOU'’VE BEEN HERE ? 832 00:39:55,871 --> 00:39:58,700 MY NAME IS SANTA CLAUS. 833 00:39:58,831 --> 00:40:00,093 EXCUSE ME ? 834 00:40:00,223 --> 00:40:01,137 SANTA CLAUS. 835 00:40:02,356 --> 00:40:04,140 DID HE SAY "SANTA CLAUS" ? 836 00:40:04,271 --> 00:40:06,186 I THINK SO. 837 00:40:06,316 --> 00:40:08,841 MY GOOD MAN, YOU ARE NOT SANTA CLAUS. 838 00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:09,798 I AM ! 839 00:40:09,929 --> 00:40:11,104 - ARE NOT. - AM TOO ! 840 00:40:11,234 --> 00:40:12,235 - ARE NOT. - AM TOO ! 841 00:40:12,366 --> 00:40:13,323 ARE NOT ! 842 00:40:13,454 --> 00:40:16,022 I AM TOO, AND YOU KNOW IT ! 843 00:40:17,763 --> 00:40:20,026 THIS MAN THINKS HE IS SANTA CLAUS, 844 00:40:20,156 --> 00:40:22,855 AND YOU KEEP HIM IN A CELL WITH REGULAR, 845 00:40:22,985 --> 00:40:25,553 ORDINARY, EVERYDAY, HARMLESS CRIMINALS ? 846 00:40:25,684 --> 00:40:27,381 EXCUSE ME, 847 00:40:27,512 --> 00:40:29,427 BUT HE REALLY IS SANTA CLAUS. 848 00:40:31,472 --> 00:40:33,866 YOU SEE THAT ? INFECTIOUS INSANITY. 849 00:40:33,996 --> 00:40:36,434 THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE ISOLATED. 850 00:40:36,564 --> 00:40:39,088 ARE YOU GETTING THIS ? UNCLE HERBERT WILL BE SHOCKED. 851 00:40:39,219 --> 00:40:42,570 MAYBE IT'’S A MISTAKE; A CLERICAL ERROR. 852 00:40:42,701 --> 00:40:46,444 IS THIS THE WAY GOVERNMENT REALLY WORKS ? 853 00:40:46,574 --> 00:40:49,011 LOOK AT THOSE BEADY TWINKLING EYES, 854 00:40:49,142 --> 00:40:50,622 THOSE MERRY CHEEKS. 855 00:40:50,752 --> 00:40:54,364 I BET WHEN HE LAUGHS HE SHAKES LIKE A BOWL FULL OF JELLY. 856 00:40:54,495 --> 00:40:56,932 CALL MY OFFICE AND TELL THEM I'’M TAKING... 857 00:40:57,063 --> 00:41:00,501 THIS MENACE TO SOCIETY TO THE PADDED PARTY ROOM. 858 00:41:00,632 --> 00:41:02,677 I HATE FOR YOU TO HAVE TO SEE THIS, MY DEAR. 859 00:41:02,808 --> 00:41:05,288 I'’D HATE FOR UNCLE HERBERT TO HAVE TO SEE THIS. 860 00:41:05,419 --> 00:41:07,465 OH, DON'’T TELL HIM. 861 00:41:07,595 --> 00:41:09,205 THE GOVERNOR WOULD MAKE A THROW RUG... 862 00:41:09,336 --> 00:41:11,469 OUT OF THIS MAN'’S CHEST HAIR. 863 00:41:12,644 --> 00:41:14,254 MOVE IT, POPS ! 864 00:41:14,384 --> 00:41:16,038 [ Prisoner ] SEE YOU, SANTA. 865 00:41:16,169 --> 00:41:18,301 [ Prisoner ] TAKE IT EASY, SANTA. 866 00:41:18,432 --> 00:41:20,521 CAN WE STILL GET ICE CREAM ? 867 00:41:20,652 --> 00:41:23,959 OF COURSE WE CAN, BUT NONE FOR HIM. 868 00:41:24,090 --> 00:41:25,744 [ Prisoner ] WE'’LL BE GOOD ! 869 00:41:25,874 --> 00:41:29,095 ALL RIGHT ! WAS THAT COOL OR WHAT ? 870 00:41:29,225 --> 00:41:30,879 "IS THIS THE WAY GOVERNMENT REALLY WORKS ?" 871 00:41:31,010 --> 00:41:33,491 THEY BOUGHT IT ! OH, WHAT A TEAM. 872 00:41:33,621 --> 00:41:35,928 THAT WAS CLOSE. THANK YOU, ERNEST. 873 00:41:36,058 --> 00:41:37,364 TIME IS RUNNING OUT. 874 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:38,931 THIS IS GREAT. 875 00:41:39,061 --> 00:41:41,063 YOU ARE THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON I'’VE EVER MET. 876 00:41:41,194 --> 00:41:43,501 YOU'’RE HIM: "MR. TWINKLE IN THE EYE," 877 00:41:43,631 --> 00:41:45,154 "MR. ROSY CHEEKS," 878 00:41:45,285 --> 00:41:47,069 "MR. HO-HO !" 879 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,290 I'’VE GOT SUGARPLUMS DANCING IN MY HEAD AS WE SPEAK. 880 00:41:50,420 --> 00:41:52,118 ERNEST, CHILL OUT, WILL YOU ? 881 00:41:52,248 --> 00:41:54,076 SHE STILL DOESN'’T BELIEVE IN YOU. 882 00:41:54,207 --> 00:41:56,557 GET REAL. 883 00:41:56,688 --> 00:41:58,907 NOBODY BELIEVES IN SANTA CLAUS. 884 00:41:59,038 --> 00:42:01,823 OH, SHE'’S BEEN THIS WAY SINCE THAT CHRISTMAS... 885 00:42:01,954 --> 00:42:05,566 WHEN I BROUGHT HER A DOLL INSTEAD OF A BASEBALL MITT. 886 00:42:05,697 --> 00:42:07,481 HAVEN'’T YOU, PAMELA ? 887 00:42:14,096 --> 00:42:15,968 YOU SEE, I TOOK OVER... 888 00:42:16,098 --> 00:42:18,971 THE POSITION OF SANTA CLAUS IN 1889, 889 00:42:19,101 --> 00:42:20,450 FROM A GERMAN CHAP. 890 00:42:20,581 --> 00:42:22,975 I ENJOYED EVERY SECOND OF IT. 891 00:42:23,105 --> 00:42:26,805 THEN HOW COME YOU DON'’T WANT TO BE SANTA CLAUS ANYMORE ? 892 00:42:26,935 --> 00:42:29,503 NO, NO, IT ISN'’T THAT. 893 00:42:29,634 --> 00:42:31,810 YOU SEE, WITH THE PASSING OF TIME, 894 00:42:31,940 --> 00:42:33,638 THE MAGIC FADES. 895 00:42:33,768 --> 00:42:35,901 I'’VE GOT SOME JUMPER CABLES IN THE BACK... 896 00:42:36,031 --> 00:42:37,555 IF YOU NEED RECHARGING. 897 00:42:37,685 --> 00:42:39,165 NO, ERNEST. 898 00:42:39,295 --> 00:42:41,080 IT'’S RECHARGED THROUGH THE PASSING... 899 00:42:41,210 --> 00:42:42,951 FROM ONE PERSON TO THE NEXT. 900 00:42:43,082 --> 00:42:46,172 THAT'’S WHY JOE CARRUTHERS IS SO IMPORTANT. 901 00:42:46,302 --> 00:42:49,392 I'’VE GOT TO MAKE HIM THE NEXT SANTA CLAUS... 902 00:42:49,523 --> 00:42:51,873 BEFORE 7:00 TONIGHT. 903 00:42:53,135 --> 00:42:56,138 OR I'’M AFRAID... 904 00:42:56,269 --> 00:42:58,532 THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS, 905 00:42:58,663 --> 00:43:02,449 THE JOYS AND FEELINGS, 906 00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:04,233 WILL BE GONE FOREVER. 907 00:43:05,713 --> 00:43:08,803 [ Santa ] THAT'’S WHY WE'’VE GOT TO FIND JOE. 908 00:43:10,500 --> 00:43:12,720 [ Harmony ] MARTY'’S OFFICE IS ON THE 2nd FLOOR. 909 00:43:12,851 --> 00:43:16,028 THESE STEPS MIGHT AS WELL BE MOUNT EVEREST. 910 00:43:18,421 --> 00:43:20,032 HOLD ON A SECOND, HON. 911 00:43:20,162 --> 00:43:22,251 SUPERIOR TALENT, INC. MARTY BROCK'’S-- 912 00:43:22,382 --> 00:43:26,038 IS MY SECOND-BORN SON WITHOUT A SLIVER OF GRATITUDE ? 913 00:43:26,168 --> 00:43:29,737 HE WOULDN'’T EVEN PICK UP HIS OWN MOTHER AT THE AIRPORT. 914 00:43:29,868 --> 00:43:33,045 I'’M ONLY GLAD HIS FATHER NEVER LIVED TO SEE THE DAY... 915 00:43:33,175 --> 00:43:36,091 WHEN HIS SON WOULD TREAT HIS OWN MOTHER THIS WAY. 916 00:43:36,222 --> 00:43:38,137 ME, A LONELY OLD WOMAN... 917 00:43:38,267 --> 00:43:41,314 FORCED TO COPE IN A WORLD OF INDIFFERENCE. 918 00:43:41,444 --> 00:43:42,837 HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE. 919 00:43:42,968 --> 00:43:45,840 WHERE IS HE ? WHERE IS MARTIN ? 920 00:43:45,971 --> 00:43:48,103 I NEED HIM TO HELP ME WITH MY WILL. 921 00:43:48,234 --> 00:43:52,151 HAVING WALKED FROM THE AIRPORT, I'’LL BE DEAD SOON. 922 00:43:52,281 --> 00:43:53,848 I DON'’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. HE'’S WITH A CLIENT. 923 00:43:53,979 --> 00:43:55,633 THAT'’S LIFE FOR YOU. 924 00:43:55,763 --> 00:43:59,506 YOU HAVE TWO SONS; ONE GOOD, ONE BAD. 925 00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:01,421 AND WOULDN'’T YOU KNOW IT, 926 00:44:01,551 --> 00:44:04,424 WITH MY LUCK, THE GOOD ONE DIES ! 927 00:44:04,554 --> 00:44:07,079 BUT, MRS. BROCK, I'’M SURE HE DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING. 928 00:44:07,209 --> 00:44:10,212 DON'’T SIDE WITH HIM, HONEY. THERE'’S NO FUTURE IN IT. 929 00:44:10,343 --> 00:44:13,302 JUST TELL ME WHERE HE IS. 930 00:44:13,433 --> 00:44:17,829 I HOPE ERNEST HAS SUCCESS FINDING JOE. 931 00:44:17,959 --> 00:44:20,092 HE'’S BEEN IN THERE A LONG TIME. 932 00:44:20,222 --> 00:44:22,660 AT LEAST THEY DIDN'’T KICK HIM OUT RIGHT AWAY. 933 00:44:25,488 --> 00:44:27,839 YOUR MOTHER MUST BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 934 00:44:27,969 --> 00:44:30,711 WHAT ? WELL, YOU'’VE BEEN GONE A MONTH NOW. 935 00:44:30,842 --> 00:44:33,758 THAT'’S A LONG TIME FOR A GIRL YOUR AGE TO BE ON HER OWN. 936 00:44:37,196 --> 00:44:39,111 YOU KNOW, THAT IS SO FUNNY. 937 00:44:39,241 --> 00:44:41,766 PEOPLE DO THIS TO ME ALL THE TIME. 938 00:44:41,896 --> 00:44:43,942 EVERYBODY THINKS I'’M REALLY YOUNG, YOU KNOW, 939 00:44:44,072 --> 00:44:45,944 BUT I'’M NOT. 940 00:44:46,074 --> 00:44:47,075 I'’M 22. 941 00:44:47,206 --> 00:44:48,860 MY MISTAKE. 942 00:44:48,990 --> 00:44:50,905 I MIXED YOU UP WITH SOMEONE... 943 00:44:51,036 --> 00:44:54,039 WHOSE PARENTS HAD SOME PROBLEMS LAST YEAR. 944 00:44:54,169 --> 00:44:56,215 THEY GOT SO WRAPPED UP IN THEMSELVES... 945 00:44:56,345 --> 00:44:58,043 THAT THEY FORGOT THAT SHE ... 946 00:44:58,173 --> 00:45:00,088 NEEDED A LITTLE ATTENTION, TOO. 947 00:45:03,004 --> 00:45:04,310 NO. 948 00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:05,441 I-- 949 00:45:05,572 --> 00:45:08,009 I DON'’T KNOW ANYBODY LIKE THAT. 950 00:45:10,490 --> 00:45:14,015 SOUNDS TO ME LIKE SHE OUGHT TO WISE UP TO THE WAY THINGS ARE, 951 00:45:14,146 --> 00:45:16,801 AND JUST START LOOKING OUT FOR HERSELF. 952 00:45:20,152 --> 00:45:21,327 HEY, ERNEST ! 953 00:45:21,457 --> 00:45:25,157 HOW'’D IT GO ? IT WORKED GREAT ! 954 00:45:25,287 --> 00:45:27,202 VICTORY IS AT HAND. 955 00:45:27,333 --> 00:45:28,813 NOW, WE HAVE TO MOVE ON... 956 00:45:28,943 --> 00:45:30,815 TO WHAT I LIKE TO CALL "PLAN B." 957 00:45:30,945 --> 00:45:32,207 LET'’S GET MOVING. 958 00:45:32,338 --> 00:45:35,123 [ Harmony ] ALL RIGHT, ANOTHER SCAM ! 959 00:45:36,603 --> 00:45:38,518 I CAN'’T TELL YOU HOW PLEASED THEY WERE... 960 00:45:38,648 --> 00:45:40,999 WITH YOUR PERFORMANCE YESTERDAY. 961 00:45:41,129 --> 00:45:43,958 IT'’S JUST FANTASTIC HOW WELL BLAKE'’S COSTUMES FIT YOU. 962 00:45:44,089 --> 00:45:47,745 I WAS READING THE SCRIPT, AND I'’M A BIT CONCERNED-- ABOUT WHAT ? 963 00:45:47,875 --> 00:45:50,530 THAT FATE DROPPED A LEAD RIGHT INTO YOUR LAP ? 964 00:45:50,660 --> 00:45:52,706 WHAT SHOULD WE DO ABOUT THE BEARD ? 965 00:45:52,837 --> 00:45:54,708 LEAVE IT. LOSE IT. 966 00:45:54,839 --> 00:45:56,754 UNTIL I KNOW IF I WANT TO DO THIS. 967 00:45:56,884 --> 00:45:58,451 WHAT ? 968 00:45:58,581 --> 00:46:00,540 WHAT A KIDDER ! 969 00:46:00,670 --> 00:46:02,934 DON'’T YOU JUST LOVE THIS GUY ? 970 00:46:04,674 --> 00:46:06,981 CHEMISTRY. I CAN FEEL IT. 971 00:46:07,112 --> 00:46:08,243 CAN YOU FEEL IT ? 972 00:46:08,374 --> 00:46:09,723 CAN YOU ? 973 00:46:09,854 --> 00:46:10,855 YES, YOU CAN. 974 00:46:10,985 --> 00:46:12,117 HERE YOU GO. 975 00:46:12,247 --> 00:46:13,771 TAKE REAL GOOD CARE OF THIS. 976 00:46:13,901 --> 00:46:15,207 ME AND FATHER CHRISTMAS... 977 00:46:15,337 --> 00:46:17,644 ARE GOING TO DIAMOND WORLD PICTURES, 978 00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:20,908 WHERE WE WILL SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE OUR MISSION. 979 00:46:21,039 --> 00:46:24,738 YOU GONNA BE OKAY ? I'’LL BE FINE. 980 00:46:24,869 --> 00:46:27,349 WE'’RE GONNA GO FIND JOE AT THE STUDIO. 981 00:46:28,307 --> 00:46:30,788 [ Hoofs Tapping ] 982 00:46:30,918 --> 00:46:34,095 OKAY, CALL ME CAUTIOUS IF YOU WANT TO, 983 00:46:34,226 --> 00:46:36,794 BUT BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY. 984 00:46:45,454 --> 00:46:47,717 OKAY, WHAT'’S IN THE TRUCK ? 985 00:46:50,329 --> 00:46:53,767 IS THIS WHERE THE HORROR MOVIE FOLK BE ? 986 00:46:53,898 --> 00:46:54,855 WHAT ? 987 00:46:54,986 --> 00:46:57,423 I GOT A TRUCKLOAD OF SNAKES... 988 00:46:57,553 --> 00:46:59,642 FOR THEM HORROR MOVIE FOLK. 989 00:46:59,773 --> 00:47:02,341 WELL, I'’D BETTER TAKE A LOOK. [ Rattle, Rattle ] 990 00:47:02,471 --> 00:47:05,823 CAREFUL NOW, THEY BE POISON. 991 00:47:05,953 --> 00:47:08,390 POISON SNAKES. 992 00:47:08,521 --> 00:47:11,089 ONE MINUTE, YOU'’RE A BIG... 993 00:47:11,219 --> 00:47:14,222 STRAPPIN'’ HEALTHY MAN, AND THE NEXT... 994 00:47:14,353 --> 00:47:17,704 SSSSNAP ! 995 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:20,098 YOU'’RE DEAD MEAT ! DEEP SIX. 996 00:47:20,228 --> 00:47:21,664 [ Rattle, Rattle ] 997 00:47:21,795 --> 00:47:23,579 CAREFUL, NOW. 998 00:47:23,710 --> 00:47:25,755 THEY'’LL KNOT UP ON YA. 999 00:47:25,886 --> 00:47:28,236 THEM POISON SNAKES WILL DO THAT. 1000 00:47:29,455 --> 00:47:31,849 GONNA GET '’EM ALL RILED UP. 1001 00:47:31,979 --> 00:47:34,155 [ Rattle, Rattle ] 1002 00:47:36,375 --> 00:47:39,030 WHEN THEY GET KNOTTED UP ON YOU LIKE THAT, 1003 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,423 THEY GET REAL CRAZY. 1004 00:47:41,554 --> 00:47:43,556 ESPECIALLY ON A DAY LIKE TODAY... 1005 00:47:43,686 --> 00:47:45,471 WHEN IT'’S REAL HOT. 1006 00:47:45,601 --> 00:47:46,515 HUH ! 1007 00:47:46,646 --> 00:47:49,127 YOU WANT ONE FOR YOUR BOY ? 1008 00:47:50,737 --> 00:47:53,261 I GAVE ONE TO MY BOY LAST YEAR. 1009 00:47:55,133 --> 00:47:56,830 ♪ ROCK OF AGES NO, THAT'’S ALL RIGHT. 1010 00:47:56,961 --> 00:47:58,963 JUST TAKE THE TRUCK OVER TO STAGE 5. 1011 00:47:59,093 --> 00:48:02,618 ♪ CLEFT FOR ME 1012 00:48:02,749 --> 00:48:05,186 ♪ LET ME HIDE 1013 00:48:05,317 --> 00:48:07,667 ♪ MYSELF IN THEE ♪ 1014 00:48:09,451 --> 00:48:12,498 THAT'’S ALL THESE MOVIE PEOPLE WANT. 1015 00:48:12,628 --> 00:48:13,978 POISON ! 1016 00:48:16,197 --> 00:48:18,112 OKAY. 1017 00:48:18,243 --> 00:48:19,157 NO. 1018 00:48:19,287 --> 00:48:20,462 SHE SAID "NO." 1019 00:48:32,997 --> 00:48:35,216 [ Whistles ] 1020 00:48:38,089 --> 00:48:40,004 [ Whistles ] 1021 00:48:57,717 --> 00:48:59,719 [ Indistinct Conversation ] 1022 00:49:00,763 --> 00:49:02,243 QUIET ! 1023 00:49:02,374 --> 00:49:05,681 [ Director ] OKAY, EVERYBODY, READY ? 1024 00:49:07,379 --> 00:49:08,989 ROLL PLAYBACK. 1025 00:49:11,992 --> 00:49:13,994 OKAY, ROLL, PLEASE. 1026 00:49:14,125 --> 00:49:16,954 CHRISTMAS SLEIGH TEST. SCENE 94. TAKE ONE. 1027 00:49:17,084 --> 00:49:18,999 AND MARK. 1028 00:49:19,130 --> 00:49:22,176 READY AND ACTION. 1029 00:49:22,307 --> 00:49:24,570 [ Girl ] CAN WE SLEEP WITH THE LIGHT ON TONIGHT ? 1030 00:49:24,700 --> 00:49:27,660 [ Joe ] I THINK WE CAN SPARE THE ELECTRICITY. 1031 00:49:27,790 --> 00:49:30,793 NOW OFF TO BED WITH BOTH OF YOU ! 1032 00:49:30,924 --> 00:49:33,318 YOU DON'’T WANT TO BE AWAKE WHEN SANTA ARRIVES. 1033 00:49:33,448 --> 00:49:35,233 COME ON, OFF YOU GO. 1034 00:49:39,324 --> 00:49:41,065 OKAY, THE KIDS ARE GONE. 1035 00:49:41,195 --> 00:49:42,631 IT'’S TIME TO SET OUT THE TOYS. 1036 00:49:44,851 --> 00:49:46,722 YOU'’RE BUBBLING OVER WITH THE, UH-- 1037 00:49:46,853 --> 00:49:50,030 CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. 1038 00:49:51,292 --> 00:49:53,773 THEN YOU HEAR SOMETHING. 1039 00:49:53,903 --> 00:49:56,994 WHAT IS IT ? YOU DON'’T KNOW. 1040 00:49:58,082 --> 00:50:00,388 IT'’S OUTSIDE THE DOOR. 1041 00:50:00,519 --> 00:50:01,955 YEAH, OKAY. 1042 00:50:02,086 --> 00:50:04,914 NOW, IT MIGHT BE-- 1043 00:50:05,045 --> 00:50:07,439 OLD SAINT NICK. OLD SAINT NICK. 1044 00:50:11,225 --> 00:50:14,359 SHOULD YOU OPEN THE DOOR ? 1045 00:50:14,489 --> 00:50:15,577 OR NOT ? 1046 00:50:16,535 --> 00:50:18,406 ROARRR ! [ Crash ] 1047 00:50:21,192 --> 00:50:22,932 ROARRR ! DIE, YOU SON OF A-- 1048 00:50:23,063 --> 00:50:25,544 SON OF A-- 1049 00:50:37,338 --> 00:50:38,774 CUT. 1050 00:50:38,905 --> 00:50:41,429 CUT ! CUT ! 1051 00:50:46,913 --> 00:50:49,002 IS THERE A PROBLEM, JOE ? 1052 00:50:49,133 --> 00:50:51,657 WELL, I SORT OF CAN'’T SAY THAT. 1053 00:50:51,787 --> 00:50:54,051 THE KIDS ARE RIGHT OVER THERE. 1054 00:50:54,181 --> 00:50:56,357 IT'’S NOTHING THEY HAVEN'’T HEARD BEFORE. 1055 00:50:57,750 --> 00:50:58,664 NOT FROM ME. 1056 00:50:58,794 --> 00:51:00,622 LISTEN, JOEY. 1057 00:51:00,753 --> 00:51:03,234 WE'’RE NOT INTO GRATUITOUS BAD LANGUAGE HERE. 1058 00:51:03,364 --> 00:51:05,323 IT'’S IMPORTANT YOU SHOW YOUR ANGER. 1059 00:51:05,453 --> 00:51:07,542 OTHERWISE, IT'’S TOTALLY UNMOTIVATED... 1060 00:51:07,673 --> 00:51:10,284 WHEN YOU PICK UP THE AX AND HACK HIM TO PIECES. 1061 00:51:10,415 --> 00:51:11,285 GOOD HEAVENS ! 1062 00:51:11,416 --> 00:51:13,026 WHO'’S THIS ? OH, NO. 1063 00:51:13,157 --> 00:51:15,115 JOE, I THOUGHT THIS MOTION PICTURE... 1064 00:51:15,246 --> 00:51:17,030 WAS CALLED "CHRISTMAS SLEIGH." 1065 00:51:17,161 --> 00:51:19,163 I CAN HANDLE THIS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ? 1066 00:51:19,293 --> 00:51:20,860 I OWN A SLEIGH. 1067 00:51:20,990 --> 00:51:22,688 I DON'’T SEE WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH-- 1068 00:51:22,818 --> 00:51:23,558 NO, NO. 1069 00:51:23,689 --> 00:51:25,125 "SLAY, SLAY." 1070 00:51:25,256 --> 00:51:27,736 NOT "SLEIGH," BUT "SLAY." 1071 00:51:27,867 --> 00:51:30,174 S-L-A-Y. 1072 00:51:30,304 --> 00:51:31,740 WHAT ? 1073 00:51:31,871 --> 00:51:34,917 IT'’S ABOUT AN ALIEN FROM OUTER SPACE. 1074 00:51:35,048 --> 00:51:38,312 HE COMES AND TERRORIZES A BUNCH OF KIDS OVER CHRISTMAS VACATION. 1075 00:51:38,443 --> 00:51:41,054 TERRORIZES CHILDREN, DID YOU SAY ? 1076 00:51:41,185 --> 00:51:42,142 AT CHRISTMASTIME ? 1077 00:51:43,622 --> 00:51:45,406 WHERE DID HE COME FROM ? 1078 00:51:47,669 --> 00:51:50,107 [ Indistinct Conversation ] 1079 00:51:52,021 --> 00:51:54,198 WE NEVER SAW HIM BEFORE, GUYS. 1080 00:51:54,328 --> 00:51:55,286 HONEST. 1081 00:51:55,416 --> 00:51:56,939 LISTEN, MARTY, 1082 00:51:57,070 --> 00:52:00,769 THE GUY SEEMS BOUND AND DETERMINED... 1083 00:52:00,900 --> 00:52:02,423 TO TALK TO ME. 1084 00:52:02,554 --> 00:52:04,382 LET ME SIT DOWN WITH HIM FOR A FEW MINUTES, 1085 00:52:04,512 --> 00:52:07,080 LET HIM GET WHATEVER HE HAS TO SAY OFF HIS CHEST, 1086 00:52:07,211 --> 00:52:09,213 AND THEN I'’LL SEND HIM ON HIS WAY. 1087 00:52:09,343 --> 00:52:10,866 I PROMISE. 1088 00:52:15,958 --> 00:52:18,309 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT ? 1089 00:52:18,439 --> 00:52:19,875 FLYING REINDEER ? 1090 00:52:38,285 --> 00:52:40,548 WE'’RE WITH THE ANIMAL CONTROL AGENCY. 1091 00:52:40,679 --> 00:52:43,160 YOU GUYS SAY YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH REINDEER ? 1092 00:52:45,814 --> 00:52:47,164 [ Stamp, Stamp ] 1093 00:52:53,996 --> 00:52:55,998 COME ON, GUYS, WE HAVEN'’T GOT ALL DAY. 1094 00:52:56,129 --> 00:52:57,478 WHAT'’S THE PROBLEM, HUH ? 1095 00:53:02,222 --> 00:53:06,531 [ Hoofs Tapping ] 1096 00:53:13,581 --> 00:53:17,281 WHAT THE-- OH, FLYING... 1097 00:53:17,411 --> 00:53:18,238 REINDEER. 1098 00:53:19,979 --> 00:53:22,373 UM, THAT'’S NOT US. NO. 1099 00:53:22,503 --> 00:53:24,723 YOU NEED AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL. 1100 00:53:24,853 --> 00:53:26,725 YEAH, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL. 1101 00:53:30,946 --> 00:53:34,515 FROM THIS LONGITUDE, YOU MUST LEAVE BY 7:00. 1102 00:53:34,646 --> 00:53:36,561 ANY LATER, AND YOU'’LL RUN INTO DAYLIGHT... 1103 00:53:36,691 --> 00:53:38,563 BEFORE YOU GET TO THE END OF THE TRIP. 1104 00:53:38,693 --> 00:53:40,869 SO, I'’VE ARRANGED-- HOLD IT. 1105 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:44,830 YOU'’RE TALKING ABOUT EVERY CHILD IN THE WHOLE WORLD... 1106 00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:46,266 IN ONE NIGHT. 1107 00:53:46,397 --> 00:53:49,313 NO, YOU SEE, MANY OF THEM... 1108 00:53:49,443 --> 00:53:52,141 HOLD CULTURAL BELIEFS THAT DON'’T INCLUDE SANTA CLAUS. 1109 00:53:52,272 --> 00:53:55,057 HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW MANY CHILDREN ARE IN THE WORLD ? 1110 00:53:55,188 --> 00:54:01,368 1,789,635,142. 1111 00:54:01,499 --> 00:54:03,501 WELL, THAT'’S A BALLPARK FIGURE. 1112 00:54:03,631 --> 00:54:06,721 IF I'’M GOING TOO QUICK, JUST SAY SO. 1113 00:54:06,852 --> 00:54:10,508 [ Car Horn ] 1114 00:54:13,119 --> 00:54:15,034 [ Jingle ] 1115 00:54:27,133 --> 00:54:28,613 [ Zing ] 1116 00:54:28,743 --> 00:54:30,397 MA-MA, MA-MA. 1117 00:54:34,967 --> 00:54:36,273 COME ON. 1118 00:54:36,403 --> 00:54:38,666 SOMEBODY MUST HAVE ASKED FOR SOMETHING GOOD; 1119 00:54:38,797 --> 00:54:41,713 A STEREO, SOME JEWELRY. 1120 00:54:44,019 --> 00:54:45,978 HEY, YOU ! YEAH ? 1121 00:54:46,108 --> 00:54:47,849 IS THIS YOUR TRUCK ? YUP. 1122 00:54:47,980 --> 00:54:49,938 ARE YOU THE SNAKE GUY ? YEAH. 1123 00:54:50,069 --> 00:54:51,505 OKAY, BOYS, 1124 00:54:51,636 --> 00:54:53,072 BRING '’EM ON OVER HERE. 1125 00:54:56,118 --> 00:54:57,468 [ Hiss, Hiss ] 1126 00:55:00,166 --> 00:55:01,602 YEAH, THANKS. 1127 00:55:01,733 --> 00:55:03,300 I'’LL COUNT '’EM LATER. 1128 00:55:03,430 --> 00:55:04,605 [ Rattle, Hiss ] 1129 00:55:05,345 --> 00:55:07,260 EWW-HEWW. 1130 00:55:07,391 --> 00:55:10,611 LISTEN, YOU SEEM TO BE VERY MUCH INTO THIS. 1131 00:55:10,742 --> 00:55:14,441 WHY DON'’T YOU JUST CONTINUE BEING SANTA CLAUS YOURSELF ? 1132 00:55:14,572 --> 00:55:17,531 NOTHING WOULD GIVE ME MORE PLEASURE. 1133 00:55:17,662 --> 00:55:20,229 BUT JOE, WHAT I'’M TALKING ABOUT IS A TORCH; 1134 00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:23,450 A BRIGHT, SHINING TORCH, THAT IS CARRIED FOR AWHILE... 1135 00:55:23,581 --> 00:55:25,887 AND THEN PASSED ON TO ANOTHER. 1136 00:55:26,018 --> 00:55:28,455 IF IT'’S NOT PASSED ON, 1137 00:55:28,586 --> 00:55:32,764 THE FLAME FLICKERS AND DIES. 1138 00:55:32,894 --> 00:55:36,724 YOU KNOW, I'’VE CARRIED THIS TORCH FOR MORE SEASONS... 1139 00:55:36,855 --> 00:55:38,683 THAN I SHOULD HAVE DONE. 1140 00:55:40,249 --> 00:55:42,426 BECAUSE I LOVED IT SO MUCH. 1141 00:55:43,905 --> 00:55:49,346 BUT NOW, I'’VE TAKEN TO MAKING NOTES. 1142 00:55:49,476 --> 00:55:51,348 WELL, YOU CAN'’T DO IT THAT WAY. 1143 00:55:51,478 --> 00:55:53,306 IT SHOULDN'’T BE DONE THAT WAY. 1144 00:55:53,437 --> 00:55:56,091 IT CAN'’T BE DONE THAT WAY. 1145 00:55:57,484 --> 00:56:00,748 IT'’S TIME FOR SOMEONE NEW. 1146 00:56:00,879 --> 00:56:03,316 IT'’S TIME FOR YOU, JOE. 1147 00:56:08,016 --> 00:56:09,278 [ Zing ] 1148 00:56:10,367 --> 00:56:12,673 AHH, MORE KID STUFF. 1149 00:56:19,898 --> 00:56:22,857 I NEED MORE TIME. 1150 00:56:35,043 --> 00:56:36,958 HOW'’D IT GO ? 1151 00:56:37,089 --> 00:56:39,483 I DON'’T THINK I'D RIDE BACK THERE IF I WERE YOU. 1152 00:56:39,613 --> 00:56:42,224 WHY DON'’T YOU RIDE UP HERE WITH ME, OKAY ? 1153 00:56:42,355 --> 00:56:44,226 [ Rattle ] 1154 00:56:45,010 --> 00:56:46,968 OHHH. 1155 00:56:49,014 --> 00:56:51,016 DID YOU GET RID OF HIM ? 1156 00:56:51,146 --> 00:56:53,932 UH, YEAH. YEAH, I DID. 1157 00:56:58,023 --> 00:56:59,981 [ Santa ] I FEEL AS LIGHT AS A BUBBLE, MY BOY. 1158 00:57:00,112 --> 00:57:02,244 YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A RELIEF THIS IS. 1159 00:57:02,375 --> 00:57:04,246 NOW, I MUST PICK UP THE SACK, 1160 00:57:04,377 --> 00:57:06,727 THEN GO TO THE CHILDREN'’S MUSEUM... 1161 00:57:06,858 --> 00:57:09,469 WHERE I'’VE ARRANGED TO MEET JOE. 1162 00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:12,254 HE MUST LEAVE BY 7:00 AT THE LATEST. 1163 00:57:12,385 --> 00:57:14,431 WHAT ABOUT THE SLEIGH AND THE 8 TINY REINDEER ? 1164 00:57:14,561 --> 00:57:17,434 THEY'’RE AT THE AIRPORT WAITING FOR MY HELPERS TO PICK THEM UP. 1165 00:57:17,564 --> 00:57:19,523 YOU WANT TO GO FROM THE AIRPORT... 1166 00:57:19,653 --> 00:57:22,656 TO DOWNTOWN AT RUSH-HOUR ? 1167 00:57:24,789 --> 00:57:27,269 YES. IS THERE A PROBLEM ? 1168 00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:29,620 THEY'’LL BE BUNCHED IN THERE LIKE CATERPILLARS... 1169 00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:31,491 OR SNAKES ! AHHH ! 1170 00:57:46,332 --> 00:57:47,986 OH, HI. BETTER GET MOVING. 1171 00:57:48,116 --> 00:57:50,031 IT'’S TIME FOR THE 3 MUSKETEERS TO SADDLE UP... 1172 00:57:50,162 --> 00:57:52,033 AND RIDE TO GLORY. KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 1173 00:57:52,164 --> 00:57:54,558 I-I-I DON'’T KNOW. I THINK, UM-- 1174 00:57:54,688 --> 00:57:57,125 I THINK I'’VE GOT SOMETHING ELSE TO DO. 1175 00:57:57,256 --> 00:57:59,171 I'’M JUST GONNA GET MY STUFF. 1176 00:58:02,740 --> 00:58:05,090 YOU BETTER CHECK IT OUT. 1177 00:58:05,220 --> 00:58:06,483 WHY ? 1178 00:58:06,613 --> 00:58:08,572 WELL, CALL IT... 1179 00:58:08,702 --> 00:58:10,791 A FIFTH SENSE. CALL IT... 1180 00:58:10,922 --> 00:58:12,532 A FLASH OF INTERMISSION, 1181 00:58:12,663 --> 00:58:17,319 BUT I'’VE GOT THIS FEELING DEEP DOWN IN THE HEART OF MY BOTTOM. 1182 00:58:19,017 --> 00:58:20,671 OH, I SEE. 1183 00:58:20,801 --> 00:58:24,022 SHE COULDN'’T DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 1184 00:58:24,152 --> 00:58:26,807 STILL, I'’D FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER... 1185 00:58:26,938 --> 00:58:29,027 IF WE LOOKED IN THE SACK. 1186 00:58:29,157 --> 00:58:30,768 [ Giggles ] 1187 00:58:33,466 --> 00:58:35,512 AH, WOULD YOU PUT THIS IN THE PICKUP ? 1188 00:58:35,642 --> 00:58:36,513 SURE. 1189 00:58:41,561 --> 00:58:43,345 TRUST PEOPLE. 1190 00:58:43,476 --> 00:58:46,435 IT PAYS OFF MORE OFTEN THAN YOU THINK. 1191 00:58:53,965 --> 00:58:56,620 ARE YOU READY TO GO ? 1192 00:58:56,750 --> 00:58:57,795 ME ? 1193 00:58:57,925 --> 00:58:59,797 UM, NO. 1194 00:58:59,927 --> 00:59:01,712 I'’VE GOT TO MEET MY COUSIN, YOU KNOW. 1195 00:59:01,842 --> 00:59:03,627 SHE'’S HERE IN TOWN, AND SHE CALLED ME. 1196 00:59:03,757 --> 00:59:06,325 SHE SAID SHE HAD SOME CLOTHES FOR ME. 1197 00:59:06,455 --> 00:59:08,370 SO I'’M GOING TO GO AND TRY '’EM ON, YOU KNOW ? 1198 00:59:08,501 --> 00:59:10,721 SEE IF THEY FIT AND STUFF. 1199 00:59:10,851 --> 00:59:11,896 I'’LL SEE YOU LATER. 1200 00:59:12,026 --> 00:59:13,375 BYE. 1201 00:59:13,506 --> 00:59:14,420 WISH US LUCK. 1202 00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:16,640 OH, YEAH. LUCK. 1203 00:59:16,770 --> 00:59:17,728 BYE. 1204 00:59:41,839 --> 00:59:43,275 [ Jingle ] 1205 00:59:56,288 --> 00:59:58,203 THERE YOU GO. DOOR TO DOOR SERVICE. 1206 00:59:58,333 --> 01:00:01,032 THIS LOOKS LIKE THE RIGHT PLACE OVER HERE. 1207 01:00:04,688 --> 01:00:06,559 SANTA, I'’VE GOT TO GET GOING. 1208 01:00:06,690 --> 01:00:08,692 YOUR BOYS ARE FACING RUSH-HOUR TRAFFIC. 1209 01:00:08,822 --> 01:00:11,085 I'’VE GOT TO MAKE SURE THEY GET YOU-KNOW-WHAT... 1210 01:00:11,216 --> 01:00:13,914 OVER TO YOU-KNOW-WHERE BY YOU-KNOW-WHEN. 1211 01:00:14,045 --> 01:00:16,047 [Chuckles] YEAH. 1212 01:00:30,975 --> 01:00:32,367 [ Knock, Knock] 1213 01:00:35,109 --> 01:00:36,502 JOE ? 1214 01:00:41,507 --> 01:00:42,987 JOE, ARE YOU HOME ? 1215 01:00:43,117 --> 01:00:44,989 YEAH. JUST A SECOND. 1216 01:00:49,515 --> 01:00:51,604 HOW DID YOU FIND MY HOUSE ? 1217 01:00:51,735 --> 01:00:53,562 WELL, IT COMES WITH THE JOB. 1218 01:00:54,738 --> 01:00:56,174 WHAT ? 1219 01:00:56,304 --> 01:00:58,524 WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF ? 1220 01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:00,265 IF YOU MUST KNOW, 1221 01:01:00,395 --> 01:01:01,745 I NEEDED TO TURN THE CLOCK BACK. 1222 01:01:01,875 --> 01:01:03,747 WELL, I SHALL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT... 1223 01:01:03,877 --> 01:01:05,139 HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS. 1224 01:01:06,575 --> 01:01:08,099 WE CAN TALK ON OUR WAY TO THE CHILDREN'’S MUSEUM. 1225 01:01:08,229 --> 01:01:08,839 LOOK, 1226 01:01:08,969 --> 01:01:11,232 YOU KNOW, 1227 01:01:11,363 --> 01:01:13,539 I REALLY DON'’T KNOW HOW TO... 1228 01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:16,542 DEAL WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 1229 01:01:16,673 --> 01:01:18,805 COME WITH ME. I WILL PROVE TO YOU-- 1230 01:01:18,936 --> 01:01:21,547 WHY ME ? WHY NOT PICK ON SOMEBODY ELSE ? 1231 01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:24,202 BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE QUALITIES; 1232 01:01:24,332 --> 01:01:27,379 THE UNDERSTANDING OF CHILDREN. 1233 01:01:27,509 --> 01:01:29,120 YOU HAVE THE MAGIC... 1234 01:01:29,250 --> 01:01:30,991 INSIDE YOU. 1235 01:01:31,122 --> 01:01:32,906 WHAT'’S THIS SUPPOSED TO BE ? 1236 01:01:33,037 --> 01:01:34,560 MY MAGIC SACK OF TOYS ? 1237 01:01:34,691 --> 01:01:37,215 LOOK, IT'’S JUST FEATHERS ! 1238 01:01:37,345 --> 01:01:39,347 I KNOW IT'’S FEATHERS ! 1239 01:01:39,478 --> 01:01:42,350 THE REAL SACK WAS TAKEN. 1240 01:01:42,481 --> 01:01:47,094 I HAVE ABSOLUTE FAITH THAT IT WILL BE RETURNED. 1241 01:01:47,225 --> 01:01:49,401 AT THE CHILDREN'’S MUSEUM, RIGHT ? 1242 01:01:51,882 --> 01:01:53,405 THANKS. 1243 01:01:55,407 --> 01:01:57,104 NO, THANKS. 1244 01:02:00,804 --> 01:02:01,848 LOOK, 1245 01:02:01,979 --> 01:02:04,808 I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TO KEEP... 1246 01:02:04,938 --> 01:02:08,376 WITH PEOPLE WHO WANT TO GIVE ME MORE THAN JUST, 1247 01:02:08,507 --> 01:02:11,075 YOU KNOW, FEATHERS. 1248 01:02:17,603 --> 01:02:19,170 JOE, 1249 01:02:19,300 --> 01:02:21,955 SEARCH YOUR HEART. 1250 01:02:22,086 --> 01:02:25,219 THERE MUST BE SOMETHING THAT CAN CONVINCE YOU... 1251 01:02:25,350 --> 01:02:27,308 OF THE TRUTH. 1252 01:02:29,702 --> 01:02:31,835 IN A WAY, I WISH THERE WAS, 1253 01:02:31,965 --> 01:02:34,228 BUT I HAVEN'’T SEEN IT YET. 1254 01:03:10,003 --> 01:03:11,788 HOW FAR WILL THIS GET ME ? 1255 01:03:11,918 --> 01:03:13,006 WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO ? 1256 01:03:13,137 --> 01:03:15,269 DOESN'’T MATTER. 1257 01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:16,575 ANYWHERE... 1258 01:03:16,705 --> 01:03:19,056 AWAY FROM HERE. 1259 01:03:19,186 --> 01:03:20,884 PROBABLY GET YOU TO MIAMI; 1260 01:03:21,014 --> 01:03:23,103 LEAVES ABOUT 6:40. 1261 01:03:23,234 --> 01:03:25,018 THERE'’S NOTHING SOONER ? 1262 01:03:25,149 --> 01:03:26,803 NOT ON CHRISTMAS EVE. 1263 01:03:29,501 --> 01:03:30,676 ALL RIGHT. 1264 01:03:45,996 --> 01:03:47,780 ARE WE GONNA MISS SANTA ? 1265 01:03:47,911 --> 01:03:49,216 NO, HONEY. 1266 01:03:49,347 --> 01:03:51,958 HE ONLY BRINGS YOU PRESENTS IF YOU'’RE GOOD. 1267 01:03:52,089 --> 01:03:54,047 [ Mother ] BOBBY, SIT DOWN HERE ! 1268 01:04:13,110 --> 01:04:16,635 EXCUSE ME, CAN YOU TELL ME IF THIS BUS GOES DOWNTOWN ? 1269 01:04:16,765 --> 01:04:18,855 ALL THE WAY TO THE TRAIN STATION. 1270 01:04:18,985 --> 01:04:20,552 THANK YOU. 1271 01:04:24,991 --> 01:04:28,908 HEY, YOU LOOK LIKE SOMETHING'’S AWFULLY WRONG. 1272 01:04:29,039 --> 01:04:31,519 MISJUDGED SOMEBODY, THAT'’S ALL. 1273 01:04:31,650 --> 01:04:35,828 WELL, YOU CAN'’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. 1274 01:04:35,959 --> 01:04:37,525 NO WAY. 1275 01:04:37,656 --> 01:04:39,005 OH, WELL, 1276 01:04:39,136 --> 01:04:41,181 IF I COULD BE WRONG ABOUT ONE PERSON, 1277 01:04:41,312 --> 01:04:43,662 I GUESS I COULD BE WRONG ABOUT ANOTHER. 1278 01:05:04,683 --> 01:05:07,077 [ Whoosh ] BOBBY, SEE THAT ONE RIGHT THERE ? 1279 01:05:07,207 --> 01:05:08,600 [ Whoosh ] RIGHT THERE ! FIFTY LAPS ! 1280 01:05:08,730 --> 01:05:11,385 NOW, THE WAY I'’VE GOT IT FIGURED, 1281 01:05:11,516 --> 01:05:12,996 [ Whoosh ] THESE RASCALS... 1282 01:05:13,126 --> 01:05:16,042 ARE WARMING UP FOR SOMETHING REAL BIG. 1283 01:05:16,173 --> 01:05:18,784 [ P.A. Announcer ] YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE. ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL... 1284 01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:24,442 OF EASTERN AIRLINES FLIGHT 835 FROM TORONTO AT GATE 21-A. 1285 01:05:38,021 --> 01:05:40,893 HEY, FELLAS, THE SLEIGH'’S DOWN HERE. 1286 01:05:47,726 --> 01:05:49,467 LOOK NOW, FELLAS, 1287 01:05:50,903 --> 01:05:52,818 I'’VE GOT TO HAVE THOSE REINDEER... 1288 01:05:52,949 --> 01:05:54,994 AT THE CHILDREN'’S MUSEUM, LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO. 1289 01:05:55,125 --> 01:05:56,169 KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 1290 01:05:56,300 --> 01:05:57,257 YOUR NAME ELMES ? 1291 01:05:57,388 --> 01:05:58,258 ERNEST. 1292 01:05:59,999 --> 01:06:01,566 YOUR NAME AIN'’T ELMES ? 1293 01:06:01,696 --> 01:06:02,828 NO, ERNEST. 1294 01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:04,482 ERNEST. 1295 01:06:09,574 --> 01:06:12,794 WELL, EH, ERNEST, WE'’VE BEEN HOLDING... 1296 01:06:12,925 --> 01:06:15,493 THESE FLEABAGS FOR A FELLOW NAMED ELMES. 1297 01:06:15,623 --> 01:06:19,758 NOW, WE GOT SOME REAL GOOD QUESTIONS, 1298 01:06:19,888 --> 01:06:22,848 AND HE BETTER HAVE SOME REAL GOOD ANSWERS. 1299 01:06:24,502 --> 01:06:27,896 LOOK, FELLAS, YOU GOT TO HELP ME OUT HERE. 1300 01:06:28,027 --> 01:06:30,987 FIRST, LET ME ASK YOU ONE QUESTION. 1301 01:06:31,117 --> 01:06:32,989 DO YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS ? 1302 01:06:36,731 --> 01:06:39,691 FOR SOME REASON, I KNEW THAT THIS QUESTION... 1303 01:06:39,821 --> 01:06:41,693 WAS GOING TO COME UP. 1304 01:06:43,086 --> 01:06:44,435 WELCOME TO ORLANDO. 1305 01:06:44,565 --> 01:06:46,524 NEXT, PLEASE. 1306 01:06:46,654 --> 01:06:48,352 NEXT IN LINE, PLEASE. 1307 01:06:48,482 --> 01:06:50,528 NEXT IN LINE, PLEASE. 1308 01:07:01,191 --> 01:07:02,540 WHY NOT ? 1309 01:07:02,670 --> 01:07:04,281 IT'’S CHRISTMAS, AIN'’T IT ? 1310 01:07:05,630 --> 01:07:06,587 THANKS, SKIPPY. 1311 01:07:08,589 --> 01:07:10,200 NO, NO, NO. 1312 01:07:10,330 --> 01:07:12,289 I GOT NO WAYBILL. I GOT NO... 1313 01:07:12,419 --> 01:07:14,726 SECOND PARTY PICK UP RELEASE. 1314 01:07:14,856 --> 01:07:17,424 I GOT NO CUSTOMS QUARANTINE WAIVER. 1315 01:07:17,555 --> 01:07:19,905 WELL, THEN, YOU AIN'’T GOT NO REINDEER, 1316 01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:23,648 '’CAUSE WE'RE SAVING THEM FOR A FELLOW NAMED HELPER ELMES. 1317 01:07:23,778 --> 01:07:25,171 HELPER ELVES. 1318 01:07:27,478 --> 01:07:28,261 YOU GOT AN I.D. ? 1319 01:07:28,392 --> 01:07:30,046 [ Together ] TA DA ! 1320 01:07:31,786 --> 01:07:34,398 WELL, THAT OUGHT TO DO IT. 1321 01:07:35,660 --> 01:07:37,923 WE DON'’T HAVE TIME TO LOSE. 1322 01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:40,230 OKAY, FELLAS, MOVE '’EM OUT ! 1323 01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:41,840 [ Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh ] 1324 01:07:41,970 --> 01:07:43,233 OH ! 1325 01:07:43,363 --> 01:07:45,757 OKAY, EVERYBODY ON BOARD ! 1326 01:07:46,801 --> 01:07:48,064 I WILL NOT ALLOW US... 1327 01:07:48,194 --> 01:07:50,066 TO MISS OUR R-R-RENDEZVOUS... 1328 01:07:50,196 --> 01:07:51,241 WITH DESTINY. 1329 01:07:51,371 --> 01:07:53,460 FRONT SEAT ! SHOTGUN ! 1330 01:07:55,636 --> 01:07:56,942 OW ! 1331 01:08:00,206 --> 01:08:01,381 [ Truck Engine ] 1332 01:08:01,512 --> 01:08:04,036 [ Grunts ] 1333 01:08:04,167 --> 01:08:05,690 WE'’LL NEVER MAKE IT ON THE FREEWAY, 1334 01:08:05,820 --> 01:08:06,952 BUT FORTUNATELY, 1335 01:08:07,083 --> 01:08:09,955 I KNOW A SHORTCUT. 1336 01:08:10,086 --> 01:08:11,565 I'’VE BEEN THIS WAY BEFORE. 1337 01:08:11,696 --> 01:08:13,611 OH, NO. THE GATE'’S CLOSED. 1338 01:08:13,741 --> 01:08:15,613 IT'’S NOT WHO YOU KNOW, 1339 01:08:15,743 --> 01:08:17,049 IT'’S WHAT YOU KNOW. 1340 01:08:17,180 --> 01:08:18,268 KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? [ Click ] 1341 01:08:20,357 --> 01:08:21,793 DON'’T BLOW IT, ELROD. 1342 01:08:21,923 --> 01:08:23,186 WE GOT LOTS AT STAKE HERE. 1343 01:08:23,316 --> 01:08:25,275 TRUST ME. 1344 01:08:25,971 --> 01:08:26,972 [ Pop ] 1345 01:08:27,103 --> 01:08:28,974 [ Groan ] 1346 01:08:59,831 --> 01:09:01,354 GOOD NIGHT. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1347 01:09:02,660 --> 01:09:04,096 AH, YOU'’RE THE LAST ONE OUT. 1348 01:09:04,227 --> 01:09:06,925 WELL, EVERYONE ELSE HAS FAMILIES TO GO HOME TO. 1349 01:09:07,055 --> 01:09:08,622 I VOLUNTEERED TO STAY LATE. 1350 01:09:08,753 --> 01:09:11,321 MERRY CHRISTMAS. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1351 01:09:17,065 --> 01:09:20,504 [ Announcer ] THE 6:40 TO MIAMI, ARRIVING ON TIME. 1352 01:09:26,031 --> 01:09:29,774 [ Girl ] MOMMA, HOW DOES SANTA CARRY ALL HIS PRESENTS ? 1353 01:09:29,904 --> 01:09:32,603 [ Mother ] IN HIS SACK. [ Girl ] HOW DO THEY ALL FIT ? 1354 01:09:32,733 --> 01:09:35,997 [ Mother ] I DON'’T KNOW. MAYBE IT'’S SOME SORT OF MAGIC. 1355 01:09:36,128 --> 01:09:39,218 YOU DON'’T STILL BELIEVE IN THAT STUFF, DO YOU ? 1356 01:09:48,967 --> 01:09:52,753 WELL, THERE YOU GO. I MESSED THINGS UP, LIKE ALWAYS. 1357 01:09:54,277 --> 01:09:58,498 ONLY NOW, I MESSED UP CHRISTMAS FOR EVERYBODY. 1358 01:09:58,629 --> 01:10:00,935 MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR, 1359 01:10:01,066 --> 01:10:02,676 AND I BLEW IT ! 1360 01:10:02,807 --> 01:10:04,200 IF SANTA WERE HERE, 1361 01:10:04,330 --> 01:10:05,723 HE'’D KNOW WHAT TO DO. 1362 01:10:05,853 --> 01:10:07,899 YEAH ? WHAT WOULD HE DO ? 1363 01:10:08,029 --> 01:10:09,727 [ Grunt, Grunt ] 1364 01:10:12,730 --> 01:10:13,992 [ Snap ] 1365 01:10:14,122 --> 01:10:15,733 I'’VE GOT IT ! 1366 01:10:18,214 --> 01:10:21,652 UH-OH, BIG RED AIN'’T GOING TO LIKE THIS. 1367 01:10:23,393 --> 01:10:25,830 I SEE NO NEED TO BEAT AROUND THE BUSH. WE KNOW WHY WE'’RE HERE. 1368 01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:27,571 JOE, WE WANT YOU TO DO THE PICTURE. 1369 01:10:27,701 --> 01:10:28,833 WE ALL DO. 1370 01:10:28,963 --> 01:10:30,487 RIGHT GUYS ? 1371 01:10:30,617 --> 01:10:33,185 THESE REFLECT THE FIGURES THAT WE DISCUSSED. 1372 01:10:33,316 --> 01:10:36,232 KEEP IN MIND, THIS KIND OF FILM USUALLY GENERATES SEQUELS. 1373 01:10:36,362 --> 01:10:38,582 "CHRISTMAS SLAY 2, 3, 4." 1374 01:10:39,452 --> 01:10:41,541 GREAT. IT'’S GREAT. 1375 01:10:41,672 --> 01:10:45,066 LOOK, BEFORE WE SIGN, 1376 01:10:45,197 --> 01:10:47,373 I NEED TO GO OVER A FEW PROBLEMS... 1377 01:10:47,504 --> 01:10:49,201 I HAVE WITH THE SCRIPT. 1378 01:10:49,332 --> 01:10:50,768 PROBLEMS ? 1379 01:10:52,770 --> 01:10:56,339 CAN'’T WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE VIOLENCE AND BAD LANGUAGE ? 1380 01:10:56,469 --> 01:10:57,601 WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ? 1381 01:10:57,731 --> 01:10:59,690 YOU CAN'’T DICTATE CHANGES TO ME. 1382 01:10:59,820 --> 01:11:01,257 YOU'’RE NOT SOME BIG STAR. 1383 01:11:01,387 --> 01:11:03,433 YOU'’VE DONE A CHUMP KID SHOW ALL YOUR LIFE. 1384 01:11:03,563 --> 01:11:04,956 IT GOT CANCELED. 1385 01:11:05,086 --> 01:11:08,873 ALL YOU KNOW IS "PLEASE" AND "THANK YOU." 1386 01:11:09,003 --> 01:11:11,005 GET WITH IT. THIS IS THE REAL WORLD ! 1387 01:11:13,965 --> 01:11:16,054 [ Snort, Snort ] 1388 01:11:30,938 --> 01:11:33,201 OKAY, FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS. 1389 01:11:33,332 --> 01:11:35,247 PUT YOUR TRAY TABLES AND SEATS IN THEIR... 1390 01:11:35,378 --> 01:11:37,989 FULL, UPRIGHT AND LOCKED POSITIONS. 1391 01:11:38,119 --> 01:11:41,079 IT'’S TIME TO SLIP THE SURLY BONDS OF EARTH... 1392 01:11:41,209 --> 01:11:44,387 AND DANCE THE SKIES ON LAUGHTER'’S SILVERED WINGS. 1393 01:11:44,517 --> 01:11:45,649 OH, BROTHER. 1394 01:11:47,651 --> 01:11:49,566 OKAY, GIDDY UP. 1395 01:11:49,696 --> 01:11:51,307 [ Snort ] 1396 01:11:51,437 --> 01:11:54,832 AMERICAN 2-6-5, YOU ARE CLEAR TO TAXI. 1397 01:11:56,355 --> 01:11:59,532 I GOT AN EASTERN L-10-11 HOLDING ON RAMP FOUR. 1398 01:12:02,753 --> 01:12:04,276 WHAT ? 1399 01:12:04,407 --> 01:12:05,973 AIRPORT SECURITY, 1400 01:12:06,104 --> 01:12:08,672 I HAVE AN UNAUTHORIZED VEHICLE ON RUNWAY 2-7 LEFT. 1401 01:12:08,802 --> 01:12:11,239 ANCHORS AWEIGH ? 1402 01:12:11,370 --> 01:12:13,764 AH, MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU. 1403 01:12:14,417 --> 01:12:16,593 [ Sirens ] 1404 01:12:16,723 --> 01:12:17,463 NOW, DASHER ! 1405 01:12:17,594 --> 01:12:18,769 NOW, DANCER ! 1406 01:12:18,899 --> 01:12:20,336 NOW, PRANCER ! NOW, VIXEN ! 1407 01:12:21,424 --> 01:12:22,816 ON, COMET ! ON, CUPID ! 1408 01:12:22,947 --> 01:12:23,861 ON, DONDER ! 1409 01:12:23,991 --> 01:12:26,603 UH, SQUEAKY. UH, SQUISH. 1410 01:12:26,733 --> 01:12:28,039 DOPEY, GRUMPY-- 1411 01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:29,606 BLISTER. 1412 01:12:29,736 --> 01:12:30,607 BLITZEN ! 1413 01:12:30,737 --> 01:12:32,609 THAT'’S GOOD. BLITZEN ! 1414 01:12:32,739 --> 01:12:34,350 OH-H-H ! 1415 01:12:36,874 --> 01:12:39,050 [ Squeals ] 1416 01:12:39,180 --> 01:12:40,530 [ Screams ] 1417 01:12:48,364 --> 01:12:50,061 HE'’S GOING TO KILL US ! 1418 01:12:50,191 --> 01:12:52,411 DON'’T YOU WORRY, MY LITTLE GHERKIN BUDDIES. 1419 01:12:52,542 --> 01:12:54,848 THE VEHICLE AIN'’T BEEN MADE THAT I CAN'’T DRIVE. 1420 01:12:54,979 --> 01:12:56,633 AH-H-H ! 1421 01:12:56,763 --> 01:12:59,549 [ Screams And Squeals ] 1422 01:13:05,032 --> 01:13:06,773 I NEED OXYGEN. 1423 01:13:10,255 --> 01:13:11,299 AH-H-H ! 1424 01:13:12,126 --> 01:13:13,171 IT'’S GOING WEST ! 1425 01:13:13,301 --> 01:13:14,477 NO, SOUTH. 1426 01:13:14,607 --> 01:13:16,130 HE'’S ALL OVER THE SCREEN. 1427 01:13:16,261 --> 01:13:18,916 [ Screams ] 1428 01:13:20,308 --> 01:13:22,833 HIT THE ALTITUDE LIMITER SWITCH, BOZO ! 1429 01:13:22,963 --> 01:13:24,400 ALTITUDE LIMITER SWITCH. 1430 01:13:24,530 --> 01:13:25,923 IS THAT IT ? 1431 01:13:26,053 --> 01:13:28,055 THE BRAKE, BOZO ! THE BRAKE ! 1432 01:13:28,186 --> 01:13:29,056 YEAH, THE BRAKE. 1433 01:13:29,187 --> 01:13:31,363 OH ! OH ! 1434 01:13:31,494 --> 01:13:34,018 AH-H-H ! AH-H-H ! 1435 01:13:34,148 --> 01:13:35,628 AH-H-H ! 1436 01:13:35,759 --> 01:13:37,413 [ Screams ] 1437 01:13:39,284 --> 01:13:40,677 WE'’RE ALL GONNA DIE ! 1438 01:13:40,807 --> 01:13:43,506 [ Screams ] 1439 01:13:43,636 --> 01:13:46,030 SO, DID YOU EVER FIND YOUR SACK ? 1440 01:13:46,770 --> 01:13:48,162 YES. 1441 01:13:48,293 --> 01:13:50,251 IT WAS TAKEN AGAIN. 1442 01:13:50,382 --> 01:13:52,384 BY WHOM ? 1443 01:13:52,515 --> 01:13:54,734 A LITTLE GIRL CALLED PAMELA TRENTON. 1444 01:13:54,865 --> 01:13:56,388 SHY, 1445 01:13:56,519 --> 01:14:00,174 ALWAYS AFRAID TO SIT ON SANTA'’S KNEE, 1446 01:14:00,305 --> 01:14:03,134 ALWAYS WONDERING IF HIS BEARD WERE REAL. 1447 01:14:04,744 --> 01:14:05,745 SMART, THOUGH. 1448 01:14:05,876 --> 01:14:07,617 QUICK-WITTED. 1449 01:14:10,054 --> 01:14:13,405 I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED... 1450 01:14:13,536 --> 01:14:15,363 TO THAT GIRL, ANYWAY. 1451 01:14:15,494 --> 01:14:21,282 [ Santa ] I WONDER IF THERE'’S ANY OF THAT LITTLE GIRL LEFT. 1452 01:14:25,286 --> 01:14:27,724 UNLESS, AT AGE 51, YOU HAVE ANY BETTER OFFERS, 1453 01:14:27,854 --> 01:14:30,030 AND I'’M SURE YOU DON'T, I SUGGEST YOU SIGN THIS, 1454 01:14:30,161 --> 01:14:32,685 AND WE GET BACK TO MAKING MOVIES. 1455 01:14:32,816 --> 01:14:35,035 [ Jingle, Jingle ] 1456 01:14:35,166 --> 01:14:37,211 NOW, HAVE WE GOT A DEAL ? 1457 01:14:37,342 --> 01:14:39,736 WE'’RE FAMILY HERE, RIGHT, MARTY ? 1458 01:14:39,866 --> 01:14:42,173 WE'’RE MAKING THINGS WORK, RIGHT ? RIGHT. 1459 01:14:44,523 --> 01:14:46,438 JOE, WHAT IS WITH YOU ? 1460 01:14:46,569 --> 01:14:48,048 [ Jingle ] 1461 01:14:50,877 --> 01:14:52,923 IT'’S HIM. 1462 01:14:55,186 --> 01:14:57,493 I'’M HIM. 1463 01:14:59,625 --> 01:15:01,714 WHO'’S HIM ? 1464 01:15:01,845 --> 01:15:05,196 MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY ! 1465 01:15:05,326 --> 01:15:06,937 JOE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING ? 1466 01:15:07,067 --> 01:15:10,288 I TOLD YOU I COULD FLY THIS THING. PIECE OF CAKE. 1467 01:15:10,418 --> 01:15:12,333 LEVEL IT OUT, BUBBLE-HEAD ! 1468 01:15:12,464 --> 01:15:14,292 THAT CAN'’T BE ONE OF OUR BOYS, CAN IT ? 1469 01:15:14,422 --> 01:15:15,989 NO, SIR. 1470 01:15:16,120 --> 01:15:18,035 I DON'’T KNOW WHAT IT IS. 1471 01:15:19,210 --> 01:15:21,299 GUESS WE BETTER SCRAMBLE '’EM. 1472 01:15:21,429 --> 01:15:23,519 [ Siren ] 1473 01:15:27,871 --> 01:15:30,482 BOGEY AT 9:00 ! 1474 01:15:30,613 --> 01:15:32,615 UH-OH, HARD BALL ! 1475 01:15:32,745 --> 01:15:34,617 TARGET ENTERING RED ZONE. 1476 01:15:34,747 --> 01:15:37,315 IF THEY ENTER CAPE CANAVERAL AIRSPACE, 1477 01:15:37,445 --> 01:15:39,273 TERMINATE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE. 1478 01:15:39,404 --> 01:15:41,145 [ Elf ] THEY'’RE GETTING CLOSER. 1479 01:15:41,275 --> 01:15:43,321 ALL PASSENGERS RETURN TO YOUR SEATS. 1480 01:15:43,451 --> 01:15:45,149 [ Elf ] INCOMING ! INCOMING ! 1481 01:15:45,279 --> 01:15:49,675 [ As John Wayne ] WELL, HANG ONTO YOUR LEDERHOSEN, RAZOR EARS. 1482 01:15:49,806 --> 01:15:51,764 WE'’RE GOING TO DROP UNDER THEIR RADAR. 1483 01:15:53,026 --> 01:15:54,593 [ Elf ] LET ME AT HIM ! 1484 01:15:54,724 --> 01:15:57,596 - I'’M GOING TO KILL HIM ! - NOT YET, WE'’RE GOING DOWN ! 1485 01:15:59,946 --> 01:16:02,862 [ Screams ] 1486 01:16:04,647 --> 01:16:06,779 HO, HO, HO ! MERRY CHRISTMAS ! 1487 01:16:11,392 --> 01:16:12,698 HA ! HA ! HA ! 1488 01:16:12,829 --> 01:16:14,744 I'’VE LOST HIM, SIR. 1489 01:16:14,874 --> 01:16:16,528 CHECK YOUR EQUIPMENT. 1490 01:16:16,659 --> 01:16:17,834 THEY COULDN'’T VANISH ! 1491 01:16:17,964 --> 01:16:20,053 [ Train Horn ] 1492 01:16:22,403 --> 01:16:24,362 BUT IF SANTA GOES TO OUR OLD HOUSE-- 1493 01:16:24,492 --> 01:16:27,017 I FORGOT SOMETHING. I'’LL BE RIGHT BACK. 1494 01:16:27,147 --> 01:16:32,022 STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. THERE'’S NO SANTA CLAUS. 1495 01:16:32,152 --> 01:16:34,894 WHERE DO YOU GET OFF ? DON'’T SAY THAT TO HER. 1496 01:16:35,025 --> 01:16:37,636 THERE IS A SANTA AND THIS IS HIS MAGIC SACK. 1497 01:16:40,117 --> 01:16:42,249 IF THAT'’S SANTA'S SACK, WHY DO YOU HAVE IT ? 1498 01:16:42,380 --> 01:16:46,297 [ Announcer ] ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE 6:40 CHRISTMAS EXPRESS-- 1499 01:16:51,128 --> 01:16:54,305 THIS IS YOUR PILOT. WE'’RE EXPERIENCING TURBULENCE. 1500 01:16:55,959 --> 01:16:58,004 WHAT'’S THIS ? 1501 01:16:59,832 --> 01:17:01,399 [ Screams ] 1502 01:17:21,332 --> 01:17:24,161 COME ON ! 1503 01:17:31,777 --> 01:17:33,779 YOU KNOW, 1504 01:17:33,910 --> 01:17:36,129 I HAVEN'’T BELIEVED IN SANTA CLAUS SINCE-- 1505 01:17:36,260 --> 01:17:40,612 JANUARY 17, 1931. 1506 01:17:40,743 --> 01:17:42,919 YOUR SMART-ALECK SISTER THOUGHT IT WAS TIME... 1507 01:17:43,049 --> 01:17:46,531 YOU LEARNED THE QUOTE UNQUOTE TRUTH. 1508 01:17:49,012 --> 01:17:52,189 I'’M SO SORRY YOU GOT BUSTED. 1509 01:17:52,319 --> 01:17:54,147 [ Chuckles ] OH ! 1510 01:18:08,858 --> 01:18:11,556 [ Jingle ] 1511 01:18:23,046 --> 01:18:24,438 WELCOME BACK, 1512 01:18:24,569 --> 01:18:26,876 PAMELA. 1513 01:18:31,010 --> 01:18:33,839 I'’M SORRY. 1514 01:18:33,970 --> 01:18:37,364 I NEVER DOUBTED YOU'’D DO THE RIGHT THING. 1515 01:18:37,495 --> 01:18:38,670 REALLY ? 1516 01:18:38,801 --> 01:18:40,803 HEH. 1517 01:18:40,933 --> 01:18:42,413 JUST A LITTLE BIT OF DOUBT. 1518 01:18:46,765 --> 01:18:49,855 I JUST GOT TO THINKING ABOUT YOU... 1519 01:18:49,986 --> 01:18:53,076 AND ERNEST, 1520 01:18:54,904 --> 01:18:57,950 AND JUST A WHOLE BUNCH OF THINGS. 1521 01:18:59,430 --> 01:19:02,259 I THINK I REALLY GOT THINGS FIGURED OUT. 1522 01:19:03,434 --> 01:19:06,785 I EVEN CALLED MY MOM, 1523 01:19:06,916 --> 01:19:08,787 AND I'’M GOING HOME. 1524 01:19:08,918 --> 01:19:12,312 I'’M SURE SHE WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 1525 01:19:12,443 --> 01:19:16,142 YEAH, ESPECIALLY WHEN I TOLD HER WHO I WAS WITH. 1526 01:19:16,273 --> 01:19:18,666 HA ! HA ! 1527 01:19:20,756 --> 01:19:23,497 I TOLD YOU I COULD HANDLE THIS BABY. 1528 01:19:23,628 --> 01:19:25,543 WE'’RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT ! 1529 01:19:25,673 --> 01:19:27,197 DON'’T WORRY, WE'’LL MAKE IT. 1530 01:19:27,327 --> 01:19:29,721 I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE IN THE FAST LANE. 1531 01:19:29,852 --> 01:19:30,809 KNOW WHAT I MEAN ? 1532 01:19:31,854 --> 01:19:32,985 DON'’T TOUCH THAT ! 1533 01:19:33,116 --> 01:19:34,944 WHAT'’S THE PROBLEM ? 1534 01:19:35,858 --> 01:19:36,510 AH-H-H ! 1535 01:19:44,344 --> 01:19:46,129 IT'’S JOE. 1536 01:20:03,494 --> 01:20:05,235 YOU CAME. 1537 01:20:05,365 --> 01:20:09,543 YEAH. THE JOB STILL OPEN ? 1538 01:20:09,674 --> 01:20:11,850 FOR THE RIGHT MAN, IT IS. 1539 01:20:29,433 --> 01:20:30,956 NICE THREADS ! 1540 01:20:34,003 --> 01:20:35,091 HOW DO I LOOK ? 1541 01:20:35,221 --> 01:20:36,570 LIKE THE REAL THING. 1542 01:20:36,701 --> 01:20:38,485 YOU LOOK WONDERFUL, JOE. 1543 01:20:38,616 --> 01:20:40,574 OH, SANTA. 1544 01:20:40,705 --> 01:20:42,925 WELL, 1545 01:20:43,055 --> 01:20:44,274 I GUESS I BETTER GET GOING. 1546 01:20:44,404 --> 01:20:45,884 YOU PROBABLY NEED THIS. 1547 01:20:46,015 --> 01:20:48,495 I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS, '’CAUSE NOBODY ELSE DOES. 1548 01:20:48,626 --> 01:20:50,933 BY THE WAY, MY NAME'’S HARMONY STARR. 1549 01:20:51,063 --> 01:20:52,673 NO IT'’S NOT. IT'’S PAMELA TRENTON; 1550 01:20:52,804 --> 01:20:55,633 1724 HAMPTON AVENUE, BLOOMINGTON, INDIANA. 1551 01:20:55,763 --> 01:20:57,417 HOW DID I KNOW THAT ? 1552 01:20:57,548 --> 01:21:00,029 YOU'’LL FIND YOU KNOW A LOT OF THINGS. 1553 01:21:00,159 --> 01:21:03,293 OH, MY GOODNESS, 3 MINUTES TO 7:00. 1554 01:21:03,423 --> 01:21:04,729 WHERE'’S THE SLEIGH ? 1555 01:21:06,426 --> 01:21:08,254 THE SLEIGH ? 1556 01:21:08,385 --> 01:21:10,169 I THOUGHT YOU HAD IT. 1557 01:21:15,348 --> 01:21:18,743 [ Chuckles ] 1558 01:21:19,875 --> 01:21:20,701 WHOA ! 1559 01:21:20,832 --> 01:21:21,877 WHOA ! 1560 01:21:22,007 --> 01:21:22,573 WHOA ! 1561 01:21:24,140 --> 01:21:26,403 [ Elf ] PULL THE STICK ! 1562 01:21:27,621 --> 01:21:29,319 AH-H-H ! 1563 01:21:29,449 --> 01:21:32,148 YOU TOLD ME IF I BECAME SANTA, 1564 01:21:32,278 --> 01:21:33,976 I COULD PERFORM MIRACLES. 1565 01:21:34,106 --> 01:21:35,673 WERE YOU KIDDING OR WAS THAT REAL ? 1566 01:21:35,803 --> 01:21:38,023 OH, NO. IT'’S REAL, ALL RIGHT, 1567 01:21:38,154 --> 01:21:40,939 BUT I'’M NOT SURE WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT THIS; 1568 01:21:41,070 --> 01:21:43,333 ERNEST, THE SLEIGH, AND ALL THAT. 1569 01:21:43,463 --> 01:21:45,117 AND YET, 1570 01:21:45,248 --> 01:21:48,555 MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO. 1571 01:21:48,686 --> 01:21:50,906 I MET A VERY NICE FELLOW AT THE AIRPORT... 1572 01:21:51,036 --> 01:21:54,344 WHO SAID HE WANTED SNOW FOR CHRISTMAS. 1573 01:21:58,783 --> 01:22:00,306 [ Sigh ] 1574 01:22:00,437 --> 01:22:01,829 LET'’S GIVE IT A TRY. 1575 01:22:04,484 --> 01:22:05,964 CAN HE REALLY DO THAT ? 1576 01:22:06,095 --> 01:22:08,053 IF ANYBODY CAN. 1577 01:22:12,579 --> 01:22:15,626 [ Howling Wind ] 1578 01:22:24,026 --> 01:22:25,201 WHAT'’S GOING ON ? 1579 01:22:25,331 --> 01:22:27,464 CHRISTMAS IS GOING ON. 1580 01:22:30,902 --> 01:22:32,469 [ Chuckles ] 1581 01:22:33,905 --> 01:22:36,386 IT REALLY FEELS LIKE CHRISTMAS. 1582 01:22:36,516 --> 01:22:37,909 THIS IS GREAT ! 1583 01:22:39,693 --> 01:22:42,958 [ Harmony ] IT'’S SNOWING IN ORLANDO. I CAN'’T BELIEVE IT. 1584 01:22:43,088 --> 01:22:45,438 I DON'’T CARE IF IT'’S CHRISTMAS EVE. 1585 01:22:45,569 --> 01:22:48,789 WE CLOSE THE DEAL TONIGHT OR NOT AT ALL. 1586 01:22:56,058 --> 01:22:58,756 IT'’S SNOWING; 1587 01:22:58,886 --> 01:23:00,976 JUST LIKE HOME. 1588 01:23:02,107 --> 01:23:04,327 HA ! HA ! HA ! 1589 01:23:06,068 --> 01:23:09,288 LOOK, IT'’S CHRISTMAS EVE. 1590 01:23:09,419 --> 01:23:12,813 WHY DON'’T YOU GO HOME AND STAY WITH YOUR FAMILY ? 1591 01:23:12,944 --> 01:23:15,425 WE'’LL SETTLE THE DEAL LATER, 1592 01:23:15,555 --> 01:23:17,818 AND MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1593 01:23:17,949 --> 01:23:19,255 [ Screams ] 1594 01:23:21,126 --> 01:23:22,823 [ Crank ] 1595 01:23:22,954 --> 01:23:23,911 [ Screech ] 1596 01:23:36,837 --> 01:23:41,059 NOBODY MOVES, NOBODY DIES. 1597 01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:47,500 AH-AH-AH-CHOO ! 1598 01:23:47,631 --> 01:23:49,067 AH-H-H-H ! 1599 01:23:49,198 --> 01:23:51,591 I DON'’T THINK ERNEST IS GOING TO MAKE IT. 1600 01:23:52,984 --> 01:23:55,769 THIS IS THE 2nd JOB I'’VE LOST TONIGHT. 1601 01:23:58,642 --> 01:24:00,426 [ Screams ] 1602 01:24:00,557 --> 01:24:03,908 SLOW DOWN-N-N-N ! 1603 01:24:12,134 --> 01:24:14,962 AIR BRAKES ! HA ! HA ! HA ! 1604 01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:18,096 ERNEST, WELL DONE ! 1605 01:24:18,227 --> 01:24:20,620 BRAVO, ERNEST ! 1606 01:24:21,882 --> 01:24:22,883 WHOA ! WHOA ! 1607 01:24:23,754 --> 01:24:25,103 HIYA, FOLKS ! 1608 01:24:25,234 --> 01:24:29,107 ERNEST P. WORRELL, AERIAL TAXI, AT YOUR SERVICE. 1609 01:24:29,238 --> 01:24:31,066 ERNEST, YOU FLEW THE SLEIGH ? 1610 01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:32,328 WE TOLD HIM NOT TO. 1611 01:24:32,458 --> 01:24:33,546 THAT'’S TERRIFIC ! 1612 01:24:33,677 --> 01:24:35,896 BUT WE THOUGHT IT WAS A GREAT IDEA. 1613 01:24:36,897 --> 01:24:38,769 IT'’S ALL YOURS, JOE. 1614 01:24:40,118 --> 01:24:42,468 YOU BETTER GET GOING. 1615 01:24:49,258 --> 01:24:52,348 WELL, I'’M GOING TO GO HOME, 1616 01:24:52,478 --> 01:24:54,872 SO I GUESS I'’M NOT GOING TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 1617 01:24:58,658 --> 01:25:01,444 [ As John Wayne ] KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN, LITTLE LADY. 1618 01:25:02,749 --> 01:25:04,882 I'’M GOING TO MISS YOU, TOO, ERNEST. 1619 01:25:12,803 --> 01:25:15,545 WELL, JOE, I GUESS THESE ARE YOURS NOW. 1620 01:25:15,675 --> 01:25:19,549 WATCH IT ON THE CURVES. IT VEERS A LITTLE TO THE LEFT. 1621 01:25:20,637 --> 01:25:22,160 TO THE LEFT. 1622 01:25:32,475 --> 01:25:33,302 BYE, FELLAS. 1623 01:25:33,432 --> 01:25:34,868 [ Together ] SEE YA. 1624 01:25:37,306 --> 01:25:39,395 [ Joe ] IS THERE ANYWHERE IN THE BOOK... 1625 01:25:39,525 --> 01:25:41,658 THAT SAYS I CAN'’T HAVE A DRIVER FOR 1 NIGHT ? 1626 01:25:41,788 --> 01:25:43,138 NOWHERE AT ALL. 1627 01:25:43,268 --> 01:25:44,835 [ Santa ] I THINK IT'’S A FINE IDEA. 1628 01:25:47,359 --> 01:25:49,144 [ Joe ] HOW '’BOUT IT, ERNEST ? 1629 01:25:49,274 --> 01:25:51,363 YOU'’VE HAD A LOT MORE SEAT TIME THAN I HAVE. 1630 01:25:53,148 --> 01:25:55,715 I KNEW THEY'’D COME TO THEIR SENSES. 1631 01:25:55,846 --> 01:25:58,283 I AM PROBABLY THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB. 1632 01:25:58,414 --> 01:26:01,895 AFTER ALL, I AM ERNEST P. WORRELL, 1633 01:26:02,026 --> 01:26:03,680 THRILL DRIVER ! 1634 01:26:05,247 --> 01:26:08,293 DO YOU THINK WE COULD USE AN HONORARY ELF ? 1635 01:26:08,424 --> 01:26:09,642 SURE. 1636 01:26:09,773 --> 01:26:11,992 [ Joe ] WHY NOT ? ALL RIGHT ! 1637 01:26:13,342 --> 01:26:15,779 LET'’S GET THESE PUPPIES PUMPING, 1638 01:26:15,909 --> 01:26:17,737 AND START SPREADING THAT CHRISTMAS CHEER. 1639 01:26:17,868 --> 01:26:21,088 NOW, DASHER; NOW, DANCER; NOW, PRANCER; NOW, VIXEN; 1640 01:26:21,219 --> 01:26:22,829 ON, COMET; ON, CUPID; 1641 01:26:22,960 --> 01:26:25,136 ON DONDER; AND-- 1642 01:26:26,137 --> 01:26:27,617 [ Everyone ] BLITZEN ! 1643 01:26:27,747 --> 01:26:28,966 OH, YEAH. BLITZEN. 1644 01:26:29,096 --> 01:26:29,749 AH-H-H-H ! 1645 01:26:38,715 --> 01:26:43,154 OH, BY THE WAY, WE HAVEN'’T BEEN FORMALLY INTRODUCED. 1646 01:26:43,285 --> 01:26:45,112 MY NAME IS MARY MORRISSEY. 1647 01:26:45,243 --> 01:26:48,290 WELL, ONCE UPON A TIME I WAS CALLED, 1648 01:26:48,420 --> 01:26:50,074 SETH APPLEGATE. 1649 01:26:50,205 --> 01:26:51,815 I GUESS I AM, AGAIN. 1650 01:26:53,730 --> 01:26:57,516 SO, ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING TONIGHT ? 1651 01:26:59,866 --> 01:27:02,217 NOT A THING. 1652 01:27:02,347 --> 01:27:03,870 WE'’LL THINK OF SOMETHING. 1653 01:27:04,001 --> 01:27:05,132 [ Chuckles ] 1654 01:27:15,795 --> 01:27:19,146 HO, HO, HO ! MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1655 01:27:21,410 --> 01:27:23,194 [ Harmony ] ALL RIGHT ! 1656 01:27:25,675 --> 01:27:28,025 SEE THAT ? I DON'’T WANT ANY TROUBLE FROM YOU THIS TIME. 1657 01:27:28,155 --> 01:27:31,028 THAT IS A "E." "F." 1658 01:27:31,158 --> 01:27:32,595 "E." "F." 1659 01:27:32,725 --> 01:27:33,335 "E." "F." 1660 01:27:33,465 --> 01:27:35,424 "E." "F." 1661 01:27:38,078 --> 01:27:40,907 LOOK, THAT IS, "E. BUNNY." 1662 01:27:41,038 --> 01:27:42,169 "F." 1663 01:27:42,909 --> 01:27:44,607 [ Smash ] 1664 01:27:45,608 --> 01:27:48,437 [ Shrieks ] 116128

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