All language subtitles for Grandpa (2020)[eng]-en

(SINGING)
Hello, good morning
how you doing?

Waking up, shaking
yesterday’s blues, yeah

Turn the TV off
it's bad news, man

Feeling fresh
like a Ziploc new man

OJ with
a champagne tune-up

Mimosa Holy Ghost
running through ya

"Hell yeah”
is the new "hallelujah"

Popping like
the top off a bottle

And I ain’t stopping, yeah

Baby, it’s a brand-new day

Ain't no clouds
hanging over me

Something
doesn't feel the same

The rest of my life
gonna start today

Good morning
Na na na na

Good morning
Na na na na

Good morning
Na na na na

The rest of my life
gonna start today

I ’ve been up
I’ve been down

But I got
the feeling right now

I ’ve been up
I’ve been down

Do you got
the feeling right now?

Baby, it’s a brand-new day

Ain't no clouds
hanging over me

This year's gonna suck.

How do you know that?

The rest of my life
gonna start today

Oops. That happened.

(BELL RINGING)

Ew.

Lastyean
we were kings.

Fifth-graders.
We ruled that school.

This year,
nobody likes us.

That is true.

Speak for yourself.
I'll be fine.

I got a mustache coming in.

Idontseeit
Nope.

Mmm-mmm.
Nope.

Uh-uh.
No one's got it
worse than me.

See that girl
over there?

She's gonna torture me
every chance she gets.

Wait a sec.
Isn't that your sister?

Yeah.

At least you guys
have your own rooms.

My grandfather
stole mine.

Wait. Your grandpa
moved in with you guys?

When did that happen?

Ever since he robbed
that grocery store.

Can I help you, sir?

You can help me
find Maria.
Oh, Maria's gone.

We're completely
self-checkout now.

Much faster.
Much more efficient.

I think you'll like it.

So, are the prices
gonna be lower

because I'm doing
all the work now?

We have everyday
low prices here, sir.

Every day.
Every day?

Every day.
Get out of my way.
Get out of my way.

Oh, no problem.

Whoa!

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Please scan your item.

I'm talking to a robot.

Please scan your item.

Ijustdid.

See if this thing...

Please scan your item.

You're very boring.

Please scan your item.

Yeah, right.

(ALARM BLARING)

EMPLOYEE: Sir!

Sir?

Sir, I need you
to stop. Hey!

Whoa! Oh, hey!

Sir, let me help you.

You hurt my leg!
Get away!
Come on, sir.

Get out of the way!
I'm a senior citizen!

Get out of here!
I knowjudo.

(GRUNTS)

Leave that
poor man alone!

Whoa!
Your pharmacy stinks!

(MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY)

You're ageist!
Oh, I see.

Y'all want
to bring it on.

You want to bring it on?

MAN: Treat us
with respect!
Oh!

That's all you got?
(CROWD JEERING)

Now, that hurt.

(SIRENS BLARING)

ED: Hey, there's my girl.

You didn't have to come
all this way.

I told you I was fine.

What happened
to the mailbox?

Oh, that.
Some idiot took it out.

Oh, crap.

Dad, you're driving again,
aren't you?

You lost your license,
remember?

No, I didn't lose it.
I forgot to renew it.

So now I have to
retake the test again,
which is idiotic

because I've been driving
for over 50 years.

I mean, what am I
supposed to do,
starve to death?

I'm coming in.

This can't keep happening.

Don't worry,
I'm never going back to
that damn store again.

No, I mean
the part about,

I have to leave
the dealership early,

drive two hours each way
just to check on you.

I didn't ask you to come!

No, you didn't!
The police did.

Dad, I want to come.
I want to be there for you.

But maybe this is

now the time
that we have
to consider...

No. I am not moving.

I built this house,

I'm gonna die in this house,
and that's it.

And you're not
putting me in a home.

What if it were our home?
What are you talking about?

Fish and relatives
stink after three days.

That's a horrible idea.
We'll kill each other.

It ain't working.
No, sorry.

Dad...

I miss her, too.

And, and that's
not gonna change

by moving me out of my house
and sticking me in yours.

Oh, God.

Well, maybe we could
miss her together.

Yeah, maybe.

But you don't have the room
in your house anyway.

Where would you
even put me?

The attic? No way!

Come on, buddy,
don't make this harder
than it already is.

It's the only choice.

Ooh!
(GASPS)

Dad, if it's the only choice,
then it isn't a choice at all.

'Cause a choice means
you get to pick between
at least two things.

And this
is one thing.

Unless the other thing is
I get to sleep in the yard
and get eaten by a bear.

Don't be
so dramatic, Peter.

Besides, your sisters
already share a room.

Yeah, well,
Sarah told me
you said that.

No, I know
she exaggerates, but...

(SINGING)
Christmastime is here

Happiness and cheer

No, you stop.
Hold on. Shh!

Shh!

Shh!

Shh!

Shh!
Shh!

Shh! Shh!
Shh! Shh!

Shh!
Shh!

Shh!
Shh! Shh!

Shh!

Hey, what's up?

Shh!

Plus, the attic
doesn't have a bathroom.

And Grandpa
can't do all those stairs.

And the basement,
is the basement.

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

(SHRIEKS)
What?

My Jordans.

Ijust put in fresh laces.

Hey, Peter.
Do you need help
moving upstairs?

Get out!
It's still my room!

AW.
Not for long.

Go away!
Go, go, go.

Look, Peter,
I know this is not ideal,

but we're a family,

and you have to make
sacrifices for each other.

Sometimes
very big sacrifices.

Look, sweetheart,
the attic is bigger
than this room.

Once you move in,
then that will be
your room.

No, it won't.

It'll be the attic,

where you put stuff
and forget it,

just like our old TV,

or the exercise bike
that Dad used once.

True.
I exercise. What?

Look, think about it
as a fresh new start.

All right?
We'll dust everything off,

put some new paint up
everywhere.

Give you a chance to...
Clean out your turtle tank.

Huh?
PETER: They like it like that.

Gives them privacy.

Does this still
fit you, sweetie?

Yes.

Grandpa!

(SINGING)
Grandpa ’s here
Grandpa ’s here

Grandpa all the way

Oh, what fun it is to have
A Grandpa come and stay, hey

Hey! Now, remember,

we don't want to overwhelm
Grandpa, okay?

So let's let him
get settled in.

There'll be plenty of time
to talk to him tonight
at dinner. Okay?

MIA: Oh, I'm not
gonna be here.

ARTHUR: What?
What? I'm studying
with Russell.

"Studying" still means
studying, right?

It's not slang
for something else?

No, Dad, "studying"
still means studying.

And I already
cleared it with Mom.

Grandpa!
Jenny!

Don't body-slam.

(GROANING)

Hi, Grandpa.
Hello, sweetheart.

Ed.
Artie.

Where's your brother?

(SIGHS)
SALLY: Peter?

ARTHUR: Peter!

Peter?

Kids, let's help, uh,
Grandpa get his bags.

Okay. I got this.
I got it.

Okay. Itjust...
It's right over here.

You know,
he called me
Artie again.

(SIGHS)
Please, Arthur.

This isn't easy
for him.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

PETER: Hey, Grandpa.

Hey! There he is!
Look at you.

Look at you.
You're sprouting up
like a weed.

Oh. Nice sneakers.
(CHUCKLES)

Thanks.
How do you like your room?

It looks nice.

Yeah, that's
'cause it is nice.

Easily the nicest room
in the house.

Well, I know, kid.

Look, ldidn't want it
to be this way, either.

Sometimes you have to make
sacrifices in a family.

That's true.
You're right.

Sometimes you don't even
get a vote.

That makes two of us.

Careful with
these floorboards.

They're not very level.

I'll remember that.
Thanks, kiddo.

Talk to you later,
Grandpa.

Come visit me
in the attic anytime.

It's the creepy place
with all the spiders
and mice.

SALLY: Peter!
I wasn't!

Here we are.

BILLY: You were robbed, bro.

PETER: No. Iwas invaded.

The worst part is,
I'm not even allowed
to complain about it.

Seems like you've been
complaining an lot, P.

I mean at home,
'cause he's old

and we all love him
and stuff.

Dude, come on, you can't allow
the enemy to invade your base.

You got to fight back
and stick up for your rights.

I don't have rights.

Everyone has rights.
They're in, uh...

Uh, alien-something.

They have to allow you
to pursue happiness.

It's in the Constitution.

Yeah. Well, that would
be great if I lived
in North America,

but it turns out that
153 Burlington Avenue

is actually
in North Korea.
Whoa!

Did your parents know that
when they bought the house?

What?

I wouldn't put up
with this, Petes.

I'd demand my room back,
or else it's war.

What do you mean,
"or else it's war"?

You want him
to attack his grandfather?

Sneak attack, Emma.

See, he can't fight him
the normal way,

because his grandfather has
strength, size and experience,

whereas Peter
is just weak,
small and dumb.

You're a bad friend.

Hi, Steven.

Mom says don't forget
to wear your sandals
when you shower in gym class.

(LAUGHTER)

Not cool, Lisa.

My brother has
that toe fungus thing.
It's totally gross.

And contagious.
Contagious?

Gross.
It's only on six of my toes.

(STUTTE RS)
That's a lot
of toe, bro.

(SINGING)
When you leave me

My world’s not alive

You'll be in my days
and nights

Hi, Grandpa.
Hi, sweetheart.

Do you want
to play a game?

I have Reindeer Run.

I have Santa’s World.

Ihave
1-2-3 Christmas Tree.

Well, maybe,
but not right now, okay?

Want to watch a movie?

I have Frosty the Snowman.

I don't think so,
okay, sweetheart?

Maybe tomorrow?
Okay.

What's wrong with Grandpa?

Why? What happened?

He doesn't want
to do anything.

He just stares out the window,
but there's nothing there

except that dead tree
that Daddy says
he's gonna cut down.

but you won't let him
use the chain saw.

Daddy can use
a chain saw any time
he wants, honey. Okay?

He just chooses to wait
until Mommy says it's okay.

Grandpa will be all right.
He's just tired

and thinking a lot
about Grandma.

He'll be okay.
Okay.

(BAT SCREECHES)

(SHRIEKS)

Get away from me!

(GROANS)

I hate my life.

Oh, come on.

Ow!

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

"Declaration of War.

"When in the course
of human events

"one person steals

"another person ’s bedroom,

"there is no other choice
but war.

(SIGHS)

"You have 24 hours
to give me back what is mine

"or face the consequences.

"Secret Warrior."

(SCOFFS)

Nice handwriting.

It's not bad.
It's just...

You know,
it's an adjustment, so...

Yeah.
Who are you talking to?

What? It's Jerry.
I'm just...
I'm on the phone.

No, Iwould love to.

I would love to, but I can't.
I'm sort of stuck here. Yeah.

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He's not stuck.
What are you doing?

Yeah, I'll bring him over
on my way to work.
See you soon.

Bye, Jerry.

So, now you're setting me up
on playdates?

Gonna pack me a lunch,
maybe put a note in it?

You want a note?
You might not like
what it says.

I'll see him another time.
I'm not up to it.

You haven't seen
Jerry in ages.

Now you live close.
It'll be nice.

I can't, I don't want to,
and I've got stuff to do.

I have to take care
of the light switch

in my room now,
'cause Artie put it in
backwards. You did.

Eat up.
We leave in 15 minutes.

Yes, Mom.

How's it going, Grandpa?
Sleep okay?

Like a log, Petey.
Thanks.

Don't you guys get
the paper around here?
Yeah, we do.

Here it is.
Oh, I can't read this.

Just make it
bigger, see?
Oh, yeah.

Jen... (SIGHS)
How does she survive?

She doesn't eat anything.
SALLY: I don't know.

Don't be late, Peter.
PETER: Okay.

So, no nightmares?

Me? No.
Insomnia?

Now it's like eight words
on the whole screen.

You don't want
to talk about anything?

Ijust made
the whole thing disappear.

I don't know
what I did just now.
ARTHUR: Peter, let's go!

Okay, well, if you want
to talk about

something later on,
we can do that.

Okay, have a good day.

He didn't react at all?

Not a word.
What's his game?

What's yours, Pete?

I mean, come on,

you don't start a war
with a note.

Maybe he didn't
actually read it.

He read it.

It was on his desk, unfolded.

Maybe he forgot
what he read.
Old people do that.

You do that, Steve.

Oops.

Thathappened.
(CHUCKLES)

But the point is
you've already blown
the element of surprise.

You've got
to attack immediately.

Um, there's chili
in your backpack.

He knows.
Yeah.

Hi, Steven.
Oh, God, no.

You left your retainer
in the back seat
of Mom's car.

I think a Snickers
got mashed up in it.

Ugh.
At least I hope
that's a Snickers.

See you at dinner.

(SNIFFING)

We're good,
it's a Snickers.

Coming along, Arthur?
Notbad.
If you like big boxes.

Big boxes
built this company.

Yes. Yes, they did.

You sure that's
the Walmart footprint?

"Walmart"?

Thought this was
for Kmart.

It's Walmart.

Oh, man. I'm sorry.

I, uh, got a lot
on my mind these days.

My father-in-Iaw
just moved in with us, so...

I don't know.
I feel like hejudges me.

He thinks I work for some
soul-sucking corporate firm

that has no interest
in the cares
or worries of its...

Its employees.

Have a good time.

So I'm just gonna
walk home?

Well, you can
if you want.

Or you can use this.

I already have a phone.

That's not a phone.
I don't even know
what that is.

Just take it.

Okay, now, this is
a car service called Lyft.

You want to go home,
you just swipe that,

somebody comes to get you.
You don't need any cash.

You don't even have
to talk to anybody.
Just swipe.

Just swipe it.

Bye,Dad.
Oh, okay.

Say hi to Jerry
for me.
Iwill.

Holy cow.
This is all yours?

This is like
a college kid's
dream room.

Are you kidding?

No college kid
could afford this.

The pool table alone
is six grand.

And you use
all this stuff?

Of course, I do.

What do you
want to do first?

Eight ball?

Pump some iron?
I got Madden.

And what the heck
is that?

That is a Onewheel.

And they are fun.

And you actually
ride that thing?

Hells yes!

Epic!

Whoa!

(SHRIEKS)

You should see me.

Wow!
DANNY: Yo, Jerry!

Oh, sorry.
I didn't know
you were ocupado.

This is
my old friend Ed.
Ed.

Danny.
Hey. Danny.

Hi, Danny.
Glad to meet you.

So, uh, we walking?

Yeah.
Oh, good.

'Cause my masseuse told me

if I got 10,000 steps
in this week,

she would meet me
for coffee.

Ooh.
And by coffee,
I mean, you know...

Coffee?
Yeah, coffee.

Morning, ladies.
WOMAN:
Really, dude?

Those yoga pants
are gonna be
the death of me.

Why do you do that?

What? They think I'm cute.

Yeah, cute, like,
"Aren't old guys cute

"when they still think
they have a shot?"

Hey, I'm a catch,
You know, I got
a full pension.

Two more years,
I can ski free
as a senior.

You ski?
No, I do not.

Morning.
Beautiful morning.
How you doing?

Nice, nice.
Next time bring up
the pension.

Or the free skiing
you'll never do.
Oh.

How's your
daughter's place, Ed?

It's okay, I guess.

She gave me
my grandson's room.

He's not too happy
about it.

He sent me this
last night.

(MUMBLES)

(MUTTERING)

Whoa!

How did you respond?

I didn't.
You're just gonna
roll over on this?

You got to respond.
Come on.

This kind of aggression
shall not stand. Semper Fi.

I didn't know
you were a Marine.

I wasn't.
I'm just saying.

Ah, he's a kid.
He's getting used
to it, just like I am.

I'm his grandfather.
So you know...

He's not gonna
do anything.

What are you
talking about?
You can't take...

(SINGING)
Cotton candy, sweetie

Go, let me see
that Tootsie Roll

Come on, come on
Tootsie Roll

Just make
that Tootsie Roll

Yeah, come on
Tootsie Roll

And make your Tootsie Roll

Here we go, here we go
Tootsie Roll

Just make
that Tootsie Roll

I want to see
your Tootsie Roll

Just make
your Tootsie Roll

To the left, to the left

To the right, to the right

To the front, to the front

To the back, to the back

"People who steal
other people's rooms

"should not sleep well."

Peter?

Oh, Peter.

Grandpa.
Isthatyou?

Yeah, it's me.
You know it's me.

You know what time it is?

Nighttime?

It's the middle of the night.
Come on.
It's not funny, Peter.

I don't like people
playing tricks on me,

especially not
my own grandson.

It's not a trick.
It's war.

You don't go to war
against your family.

You have to have
an enemy to go to war,
and I'm not your enemy.

You got my declaration.
Why didn't you say anything?

Because I was
kind of hoping
it was a joke.

It's not a joke.

You took something of mine,
and Iwant it back.

Okay.
Go back to sleep.

You made your point,
but this is over now.

We'll see you
in the morning,
which is almost here.

Grandpa?
I love you.

I love you, too, kiddo.

But the war's still on.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Hi, Grandpa.
Hey, Jenny.

Can I come in?
Sure.

Why not?

'Cause when
Peter lived here,

I wasn't allowed,
unless I sneaked.

Come on, come on.

So, what can I do for you?
Nothing.

Ijust like to look
at other people's stuff.

You know
it's my birthday
coming up.

Thatldo.

Okay.
Just making sure.

What's this?

Those are marbles.

Can I have one?

Sure, if you promise
to take care of it,

because they're
very special.

They're not magic.

People always say
their things are magic
and they never are.

No. I didn't say
that they were magic,

but they are special.

Come here.

You remember how Grandpa
used to build houses?

Yeah,
but I wasn't born.

That's true,
you weren't born.

But when you build a house,

you always start
by doing some digging.

And for some reason,
you almost always
find marbles.

I guess because they roll
around and get lost easily.

But pretty much
every foundation lever dug,

I always found
a marble or two.

So, guess what
I did with them?

What?
I kept them.

So, ifyou count
all those marbles,

you'll know
how many houses
I built.

That's a lot of houses.

I worked a long time.

How come
you don't work now?

Because I'm what
you call "retired."

What's "retired"?

It's when you stop working
so you can do other things.

Like your grandmother and I
had big plans,

but sometimes things
just don't work out.

Can I have a marble now?

Sure.

What the...

(GRUNTS)

Careful, sweetheart.
Careful, careful.

(SHRIEKS)

Are you okay, Grandpa?

Yeah, yeah.
I'm just gonna rest

down here
for a while.
(GROANS)

Can I still have a marble?

Take whatever you want.

(MARBLES CLATTERING)

Oh, no.

No, no.

NO. (GRUNTS)

What's that
racket upstairs?

Grandpa lost his marbles.

(WINDOW TINKLING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

You wanted to see me?

Yeah, come on in.

Shut the door.

Have a seat.

So...

You know that big jar
of marbles I had?

No. How would I know
about the things you have

in your room...

That used to be mine?

That's good.

That's funny.

That's real funny.

Everybody likes
a funny kid.

I thought
we were done with this.

All you have to do
is tell Mom and Dad

that you want
to switch rooms with me.

And then it'll be done.

You really want a war?

Because, you know,
I've been in one.

And it's not like
video games.

Even if you win,
everybody gets hurt.

I only want what's mine.

By playing hardball, huh?

I'm not playing.

Fair enough.

So, what are
the rules of engagement?

The what?

Rules of engagement.

What's allowed
and not allowed.

You don't have rules
in a war.

Oh, yes, you do.

"Rule number one...

"No collateral damage

"to civilians
or their property."

That means it can't affect
your parents or your sisters.

Agreed.

"Rule number two...

"No telling."

This is man-to-man,

just between me and you.

No ratting
the other guy out.

Agreed.

Okay. Sign.

Okay.

You got your wish,
Secret Warrior.

Okay...

Senior Soldier.

But from now on,

you better watch out.

NARRATOR: (ON TV)
The jungle...

A place where animals
both big and small,

exotic and bizarre,

coexist with one another
in the same space

and in the same time.

The game... To survive.

The stakes... Life and death.

Those who strike first
live to see another day.

Those who sleep

will be eaten alive.

I 've heard people whisper

That you aren’t being true

I just let them whisper

’Cause all I’ve got is you

(VOICE WARPS)
I’ve gotta believe

In something

I 've gotta believe...

(RECORD WINDS RAPIDLY)

Okay. Okay.

What the...

What is this stuff?

Fast-drying foam sealant.

I'm gonna kill this kid.

You don't mess with me,
youlflfle".

You think you're cute?

You've welcomed a world
of pain, my friend.

You'll be sorry.
Mess with me, you little...

Think you're cute?
You're not cute!

Ah!

Oh!
(MUFFLED SCREAM)

(SCREAMS)
(MUFFLED SCREAM)

Oh!
(MUFFLED SCREAM)

Oh!

This will never
be spoken of.

Noidea
what you're talking about.

Oh!

You're doing very well,
Grandpa.

Thank you, sweetheart.

You're a very
good teacher.

Why is your face
all red?

I don't know.

I may be allergic
to something
in this house.

I'm off
to shaving cream.

I mean, school.

Uh, Peter,
is that your binder?

Yeah. Thanks.

Have a good day at school,
kiddo.

Love you.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Hey, Pete.

How's your super unnecessary
war going?

Notgood.
I was up all night.

Couldn't sleep at all.

Diarrhea?
What? NO.

My grandpa.

Your grandpa had diarrhea?

No. There's no diarrhea
in this story.

Oh.

I did what
you said yesterday,

and I hit him good
multiple times.

I even put hot sauce
in his coffee this morning.

So far, nothing.

(GASPS)

Dude, your grandfather's
using psyops.

Psychological warfare.

Or maybe he's just
being an adult.

Peter, if you're done talking,
maybe you'd like to read us

your report on what you did
over your summer vacation?

Yeah. Sure.

"My Summer Vacation"
by Peter Decker.

"This summer was one
of the best summer breaks
I've ever had.

"I rode my bike a lot
and stopped showering

"until I smelled
like a monkey's butt."

(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

Keep reading, Peter.
Go on.

I don't want to.
This isn't my...
Read.

"During my vacation,

"I figured out how to freeze
my own farts in a baggie."

(LAUGHTER)

I didn't write this!

Have a seat.

And see me after class.

Psyops.

Amateur.

(DRILL WHIRRING)

(EXCLAIMS)

What's going on here?

(STUTTERS)
Nothing. Nothing.
We werejust, um...

I was just dropping off
some vocabulary drills.
Uh-huh.

Really?
Vocabulary.

Russell, go.

Mia, stay.

Do we not have a policy

about no boys in this house
when no one is here?

Oh, my God, Mom,
don't blow a gasket.

We weren't doing anything.

Don't you think
I was your age once?

NO, I don't.
Really?

Yeah, 'cause you are...
What?

You are literally...
You are...
Say it.

(YELLS IN FRUSTRATION)

Those vocabulary drills
are paying off, sweetie.
Ugh!

What the heck?

Whoa!

Don't start nothing,
won't be nothing.

He got me.

(GROANS)

I got him good.
Tape on the doorway.

Like Iwouldn't
see that coming
from a mile away.

Rookie!
Tape on the doonivay.

Tape on the doorway.

Step back, boys.
Big hitter.

All right.
Yep. Stepping back.

(CAR ALARM BLARES)

We should
skip this hole.

Yeah, good idea.
Come on.
Yeah.

I wonder how my grandpa's
golf game is... Going.

My Jordans.

Dude, Ithink
your grandpa
might be a ninja.

My Jordans!

(REGISTER BEEPS)

First time?

Unfortunately, no.

What are you,
a spy or something?

No, I'mjust trying
to outsmart my grandson.

We're in the middle of
a turf battle over a bedroom.

Ijust moved into
my daughter's house, so...

No,no,no,
don't say anything else.

That way,
they can't make me testify.

I won't.

You need a hand?

No, let me give it
one more shot.

(REGISTER BEEPS)

Oh, come on.
Yeah, I...

All right,
what am I doing
wrong now?

Oh! No, I'm not
gonna help you now.

That way,
you'll never learn.
Making it tough on me, huh?

(REGISTER TRILLING)

You're on your way.

MAN: (ON TV) Barn!

Cars like this
1974 Volkswagen Bug use...

We had one of those,
remember?

We changed the clutch on it.
Yeah, how could I forget?

You dropped the flywheel
on my toe.

(CHUCKLES) That was your fault
for mistaking me for your son.

Anybody want to watch
anything else, maybe?

Like, uh, Netflix?

Weather Channel?

C-SPAN?

The Grinch
Who Stole Christmas.

Hey, yeah.

Hey. Going to
Skyler's house.

What? NOW?

Yeah. I'm studying.

Do you want me to get
into a good college or not?

Okay. Bye.

She's going to see Russell.
I know it.

What?
None of my business.

No, come on.
You're gonna say it anyway.

Okay.

My advice about fighting
with her about her boyfriend
is don't.

It cost me
two years with you.

Yeah.

When you started
dating Artie here.

That's not true.
I don't remember that.

I do.
It was terrible.

I was over at the house
all the time.

Yeah, you were
over at the house
talking to your mother.

You barely talked
to me at all.

Oh.

Really?
Yeah.

Um... Sorry, Dad.

No, don't be.
It was my fault.

I thought he wasn't
good enough for you,

till I realized
that wasn't the point.

The point was you thought
he was good enough for you.

But you and Arthur
get along great now.

Because I stopped
being an idiot.

But I'll never get
those two years back.

Wow. Uh...

I appreciate that, Ed.

You're welcome, Artie. I mean,
I meant that, sincerely.

But the career,
not so much.

SALLY: What?

Dad!

Nothing against Artie.
It's just that I think

that people who lose sight
of their dreams

and settle for less
are never very happy.

That's all.

Really?
I find that those
same people

tend to have
secure incomes.

Which then allow them to,
I don't know,

take in an aging senior,
perhaps.

And the name's Arthur.

Come on, honey.
Let's go. It's bedtime.

Here we go.

Night, sweetie.

Night.
Good night.

I thought you stopped
being an idiot.

Sorry.

(DRONE WHIRRING)

I can't put anything
back together.

He took all of the screws.

So now I'm sleeping
on the floor.

That's hilarious.

Yeah. Ha ha.

Dude, you might have
to face the fact

that your grandfather’s
just smarter than you.

Hey!
Billy, nice snake.

Thanks.

Steven, 1 found the dog
chewing your snuggables
again.

(SCOFFS)
Those aren't mine.

Really?

It says "Captain Steve"
on the waistband.

Get out of my room!
Captain Steve.

See? Not that hard.
Yeah.

Thanks, kiddo.

Okay, off you go.

Skedaddle. Thanks.

Yeah. Now you're talking.

EMMA: I know something
you could do, Peter.

What?
You could use

some of the mental energy
you're expending

on thinking up
stupid tricks

to play on your grandfather
to not get a "C" in math.

Who cares about math?
This is real life.

Said the guy building
a fake castle in a video game.

Petersburg isn't a castle.

It's a palace.

And after three years
in the making,
it's almost finished.

(CHUCKLES) Too easy.

(SNEEZING)

NO.

Uh-Oh.

And then see
if the light comes back on.

NO!

Any nimrod knows that.

(SCREAMS)

What the...

Did you bring it?

You got the cash?

Dude, it's all there.

I'm sure it is, Pete.
I'm sure it is.

(SCREAMING)

Not funny, Peter.

Nice snake.

Nice, nice snake.
Nice snake.

Nice. Take all the room
you want.

Do whatever you want.

I'm just gonna go...

Go over here.

Don't mind
if I do, Eddie.

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

You stay there.
You stay there.

You stay there.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS)

(GASPING)

What's that?

It's a Vitalert necklace.

A what?

Like those TV commercials?

You expect me
to wear that?

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.
No way.

Look. You know,
you just...
NO.

You wear it
under your shirt,

and, hey, nobody can
even see it.

You can't see that.
Right?

If you don't want
to wear it for you,

wear it for me.

But I don't need this.

Really?
I don't need this.

Because Arthur says
that you've been acting...

Oddly.

He has?
ARTHUR:
For the record,

I didn't say "oddly."

I said "confused."

Confused?
SALLY: Look, Dad,

is it so hard to believe
that we care about you?

Probably won't even need
to use it.

You got that right,
'cause I'm not wearing it.

Look, it gives me
peace of mind to know

that with just one push
of a button,

you can get help
ifyou need it.

Please?

Please.

Sweet necklace,
Grandpa.

For every action,
my friend.

(SNIFFS) Ugh!

(GROANS) Ugh!

EMMA: And this is how
you found him?

BILLY: Yeah.

When I couldn't reach him
online, Igot worried.

My life's work...
Ruined!

STEVE:
All I see is
a pile of rubble.

He destroyed Petersburg!

I've been building it for more
than a third Of my life.

Actually, three over 12
is exactly 25%,

which is less than a third
of your life.

Well, it is.

It's okay, buddy.

(SCREAMS WEAKLY)

(SALLY SCREAMING)

(CELL PHONE BEEPING)

Oh. You see, dear?

I was right.
The boy's coming around.

Do you both promise
to use your words?

I promise.

Why are we
doing it this way?

Because,
when you have peace talks,

you need someone neutral
to mediate.

Otherwise,
itjust breaks down
into yelling.

This is dumb!
Well, we're doing it.

Besides, it took me
five minutes

to get in this chair,
and I'm not getting out.

Grandpa promised.
You have to promise.

Okay, fine.
I promise.

Good.
Now, Iwill admit

that hostilities may have
escalated

more than either of us
anticipated.

You don't touch
another man's computer!

That's not cool!

That's what war
is all about, kiddo.

War. Ijust want
my room back!

NO yelling.
I'm not yelling.
He's yelling.

Say you're sorry
to Grandpa.

NO, it's okay,
sweetheart.

I love you, Grandpa.

I love you, too.

Stop that!
Stop what?

What's going on here?
Nothing's going on here.

You're supposed to
be neutral!

I don't even know
what that means.

It means you shouldn't
act like you like him
better than me.

I do like him
better than you.

He gave me a cookie.

Okay, that sounds worse
than it is.

It is true
a cookie was given,
but it was way before

this negotiation
had even been scheduled.

Chocolate chip,
my favorite.

Mine, too.

That's it.

I'm done.
Peace is canceled.

NO yelling.
Shutup!

Shut up's a bad word.
Peter.

Can I have
my second cookie now?

Peter, hold on.
Please.

Come on.
You're right.

A cookie may have
been involved,

which may have been an attempt
to influence the mediator,

which, in retrospect,
may have been inappropriate.

May have been?
Okay, to be fair,

you entered negotiations with
a bit of an attitude yourself.

You didn't really give peace
a chance, either.

Why should I?
You demolished Petersburg.

But that's what I've been
trying to tell you when
this all started.

War is no game, Peter.

Only kids and fools
and generals think that.

War hurts.

War wounds and kills
and causes misery.

We got to
end this somehow.

How?

What if we have
one final competition,
winner take all?

What kind Of competition?
I don't know. You pick.

Whatever you want,
I'll do it and this
whole thing will be over.

Whatever I want?
Whatever you want.

Okay.

ED: It's not a date.

It's just that
we need a fourth
for the team

and it needs to be a woman,
and I don't know anyone else.

So, let me
get this straight.

You want me
to help you and
your buddies

to beat up your grandson
and his buddies,

because the two of you
can't figure out

some way to live
in the same house?

Well, when you put it
like that...

I'm in.

My granddaughter can be
a pain in the butt sometimes.

Whoo!

Holy Mary, we're dead.

It's just an intimidation
tactic, Danny.

Don't let them
see your fear.

They feed off that.

They're like
baby velociraptors.

Yeah. We're up.

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

Do you guys even remember
how to play dodgeball?

Did they
even have dodgeball
in the 18003?

They had wiseass kids,
I know that.

And just remember,
no headsies.

And no nutsies.

No aiming forthejunk.

Yeah. What he said.

Hope you
brought your Poligrip,
old man,

'cause those false teeth
are coming out.

Big words
for a little baby.

Sure you don't need
your diaper changed?

Sure you don't?

(BILLY AND PETER LAUGH)
Ooh!

Men.
Tell me about it.

You're gonna love
the attic, Grandpa.

We're gonna see about that,
Petey boy.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)
Let's get it on.

Let's get it on!

(WHISTLE BLOWING)
(BOYS YELL)

(GRUNTING)

Hi.

Run for your lives!

Fire!

I'm already regretting
agreeing to do this.

Man down.

Hey! We said no headsies.

Oops. It slipped.

Punk.
(G ROANING)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)
That's game!

Age Appropriate Team: one.

ALL: WhOO!
Yeah! That's what's up!

AARP Team: none.

My ears are ringing.
This is barbaric.

Man up, Danny.
Get in the game.

Who's this again?
Come on, bring it in, guys.

Bring it in.

Obviously, they're
way too fast for us.

Yeah.
Yeah.

We're gonna have to
play our game

ifwe're gonna
win this thing.
Am I right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Okay. I have an idea.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Game two.
Positions, people.

PETER: Grab 'em!

Fire!

Yeah.
Now you're in trouble.

Boom!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Out, out, out.

Two catches and a hit.
You three.

Come on, you old coots,
give me your best shot.

Well, if it isn't
Mr. Headsies.

Whoo!

Whoo!

(GIBBERS MOCKINGLY)

(GROANS)

Nutsies.

Oops. Slipped.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)

That's game two.
We tied, one apiece.

Final match.
Winner takes all.

You okay?

Okay?

(WHISTLE BLOWS)
Positions, people.

(YELLING)

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

What's he doing?

Danny.

You're an animal.

Hells yeah!

Whose house is this?

Our house!
Our house!

Yeah!
Let's do this.

(SCREAMS)

Jerry, what happened?

I tore something.

Yeah, I definitely
heard a pop.

(GROANING)

Dude“.
I mean, old dude.

Are you okay?
Of course he's okay, dummy.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)
You, you're out.

Cheat.

You can't get me.
I'm on fire!

Sorry, Danny.

(GAGGING)

Oh! What's up, son?

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

You two, out.

What?
That's not fair!

Yeah, ref,
doesn't count.

Kid was already out
and he throws like a girl.

Ooh!

Diane, what's with
the friendly fire?

What are you,
a rogue agent now?

(WHISTLE BLOWS)
You three, out.

Yes!
Nice.

Sorry, Peter's grandpa,
but I'm gonna end you.

Hey, what happened to
the sisterhood?

Sorry, kid.

You will not
have died in vain.
This is so dumb.

Yeah, you're out now.
Off you go.

DIANE: Go, Ed!

JERRY: Yeah!
BILLY: Come on, Peter,
you got this!

End him.
Get your room back.

Finish him, Ed.
DIANE: Yeah, go, Ed.

What are y'all waiting for?
End it!

I got an eight-year—old's
birthday party that's next.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

It's a tie.
What?

Come on.
ED: NO way!

What? No way!
What? A tie?

I totally caught his ball
before he caught mine.

NO, I caught
the ball first.

Really?
Seriously, he caught it
before him.

He bobbled his.
I didn't bobble anything.

He's got butterfingers.

See? Butter.

He's old...
His fingers don't work.

I got one finger
that works.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Okay, that's enough.
Game over.

Go home, all y'all,
seriously. Leave.

I won.
Yeah, sure.

I won.
Are you kidding me?

You lost. I'm sorry.
What are you talking about?

You know that.
What are you talking about?

PETER:
I obviously caught it
before you.

This place have a bar?

What's this?

I'm just doodling.

It doesn't look like
one of your usual...

What do you
call 'em, boxes.

Yeah.

No, don't get me wrong.
I meant...

It's interesting, really.
I like it.

Is this for work?

No, the... The city's

taking bids for an addition
to the library.

So I thought I would
submit a design.

But you know how it is.
I'm sure they'll

just pick one of
the big firms.

Well, you miss 100%
of the shots you don't take.

You know who said that?

Uh... (SIGHS)

NO.

Wayne Gretzky.

Best hockey player
of all time.

I was gonna say that.

The Great One?

The greatest.

Still not a sports guy.

Nah.
Okay.

(SNORING)

(BEEP)

(SIREN WAILING)

Found him.
MAN: Prepare a sedative.

Just lay down, sir.

What is this?

Relax, sir.
Hold him. Hold him.

We're trying to save
your life, sir.

Get that thing
away from me!

Sir, you are not
helping us.

I just bought these,
you idiot!

What are you...
Don't worry, sir.

You're in good hands.

You touch me with those,
you die!

Patient appears combative.
You touch me with those...

We might need restraints.

Restraints!
I don't need restraints!

Just relax, sir.
Don't do it! (SCREAMS)

STEVE:
Dude, I hated that test.

PETER:
I think I did pretty good.

Get in the car.

Uh...

Thanks,

but I think I'm just gonna
take the bus home
with my friends.

Come on, get in the car.

Bye.

Friend of yours?

ED: That's Chuck.

You don't need to know
about Chuck.

Um...

Where are we going?

You know I'm only 12, right?

That's a lot of life
left to live.

I could be president
someday.

Be on the first manned
mission to Mars.

(KNOCK ON WINDOW)
Holy heck!

Get out.

You know...

Mom's expecting us
for dinner.

Maybe I should call her,

let her know
where we're at.

Don't bother. We're bringing
dinner home tonight.

I rented it
for a couple hours.

I thought me and you
could do a little fishing.

Together.

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

How's that sound?

Great!

I mean,
I'm not gonna have fun.

You'll have fun.

I think I caught one.

That a way.

It's got to be a big one.

Hey!
He's huge!

Nice going.

Yeah.

That's not a fish.
That's a whale.

He really fought, too.

We're gonna have some good
eating tonight.

Let me bait you up again.

Okay.

Okay, cast away.

Nice cast.

Thanks.

This is kind of fun.
Yeah, it is.

That's what happens when
we put our differences
aside, you see?

How are they biting?

Pretty good.

Caught a couple
of nice ones.

Good for you.

That's probably because

not too many people
fish here,

it being illegal and all.

What?
What?

You could ask the ranger.

Here he comes now.

Dump the fish.

But those are our fish!
Dump the fish!

Why?
Dump them!

The cooler!

Forget the cooler.

You are in violation
of the law!

He's gaining on us.

He's gaining on us.

What are you doing?

I got to call Chuck
to pick us up.

He left us?

What kind Of friend is that?

Friend? He's my Lyft driver.
I don't know the guy.

Pull over or face
the consequences!

Brace yourself.
We're coming in hot.

Grandpa, come on!

Hey, why didn't you tell us
there was no fishing?

You wouldn't have
rented the boat!

(GRUNTS)

Hey! Stop!

Hold it!

That was so cool.
Yeah, that was.

Yeah, I know.

Mmm.

ED:
Pull over here, Chuck.

I want to show you
something, Pete.

So, this house...

This house for sale,
I built it.

They changed the color.
I don't like that.

What do you think?

I like it.

Maybe it's not so bad.

You know,
over the years,

if I wasn't
feeling so good,

I'd come by, and I'd...
I'd take a look.

I'd see people living
in the thing I built,

raising families,
making lives, and...

I'd feel better.

You feel better now?

Yeah, I do.

Hey, do you want
to know a secret?

Yeah.

Come on.

People who build houses
usually sign their work,

like an artist
signs a painting.

Really?
Yeah.

But it's always hidden.

Yeah.

Some guys sign their name
on a rafter.

Others put something
under the floorboards,

like a newspaper with the date
the house was finished.

One guy I knew used to
write a poem

on the bottom of a toilet
before he installed it.

(LAUGHS)

What did you do?
Me?

Well, I always had
one of my guys

take a picture of me
and your grandmother,

and then I would
seal the picture

inside the wall
next to the fireplace.

So, there are photos of me
and your grandmother

inside walls
all over this part
of the city.

Nobody knows but you.

And now you do.

That's cool.

(DOOR CREAKS SHUT)

ED: We'll make an angler
out of you yet, kid.

PETER: Maybe next time,
we can actually find a lake

where they let us fish.

Oh, yeah, there are
plenty of lakes

brimming with bass
around here, Pete.

Yeah. Fat ones, too.

Yeah, whoppers.

Grandpa?
Yeah, Pete.

Thank you for
taking me fishing.

I had a really great time.

You're welcome.
I had a great time, too.

Let's do it more often.

Yeah.

Sure.

See you at dinner.

(SCREAMING)

That's good.

You got me.
You got me good.

You're a dead man.

(CHUCKLES)

Oops!

OW!
Thathappened.

(GROANS) Not again.

Oops.

Thathappened.

(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

Okay, so I'm gonna
put the Santa hat

right here.

Did you put the words
in that one?

I'm doing that right now.

"Come celebrate
Jennifer's super fun,

"Christmas-theme
birthday party."

Greatjob.
Like it?

Loveit

(ORGAN PLAYS SO FTLY)

Is this seat open?

Thanks,Ed,
for coming with me.

These things are never
fun to go to alone.

Carl was one of my longtime
adventure buddies.

Gonna miss
the Old hell raiser.

How did he,
you know, uh...

In his sleep.

While skydiving.

Looking good, bro.

So, did you
come here alone?

That's my husband.

Mmm.

Probably need
a ride, huh?

(RINGTONE PLAYING)
I like to move it, move it

I like to move it, move it

I like to move it, move it

Ya like to
Move it!

What the...
[like to move it, move it

I like to move it, move it

Sorry.
I like to move it, move it

Ya like to...

Shoot

I like to move it, move it

I like to move it, move it

I like to move it, move it...

What the...

I like to move it, move it,
I like to move it, move it...

Sorry about this, Carl.

(PEOPLE GASPING)

I like to move it, move it...

I don't know this guy.

Move it, move it, ya like to

Move it!
I like to...

(TURNS OFF PHONE)

So, Grandpa,
how was that funeral
yesterday?

Really nice.

Thanks for asking.

How about you?
Anything exciting
happen at school?

NO.

Unless you call
getting punched
in the face

by a giant eighth-grader
exciting.

Really?

Yep.

What happened?
He was blasted into a giant

orange-sicle...
As soon as he opened up
my backpack.

It's so weird, right?

Hello, boys!

Hey,Dad.
Hey...

Let me set this stuff down,
and I'll help you

put the lights on the roof
there, Ed.

Thanks, Arthur.

I said "Arthur."

Don't you two make
a nice team.

Jenny's birthday's gonna be
so exciting.

All that's left to do
is try to find a Santa Claus

in early September,
and we'll be golden.

Don't you
worry yourself.

I know Santa personally.

Consider it done.

SALLY: Aw!

Thanks, Dad.
That's so sweet.

It's the least I can do
for Jenny.

Mom, before you say no,
hear me out.

Can Russell come
to Jennifer's
birthday party?

No.
What?

Why? Peter's friends
get to go.

That reminds me,
I invited Jerry

and the crew,
if that's okay.

No, that's great.

And you don't see
how unfair this is?

I hate you!
(YELLS IN FRUSTRATION)

I don't want to hear it.

Hey, Peter.

Yeah?

Listen... You know,

in World War I,
the Germans and the British

put down their weapons
on Christmas Eve

in favor of celebrating
rather than fighting

during the holiday.
Hmm.

Your sister's birthday
is a special occasion

and should be celebrated.

I guess you're right.

Okay, then let's agree...

Temporary armistice
for Jenny.

Deal?

Deal.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Please! Stop it.

Ow! Cut it out!

You're hurting me.
"You're hurting me."

That looks like fun.

Yeah, lots of fun.

We like fun, too.

Forgot I had
detention today.

Looks like
you're on your own.

I have a question.

Do you know my grandson
Peter Decker?

Thoughtso.

Dumpster.
What? Wait, wait.

Don't make this harder
than it has to be, kid.

Come on,
take your lumps
like a man.

Who are you guys?
Come on.

Disciplinary board.

Leave Peter alone,
understood?

Whoa! Ripe.

Not your lucky day,
tough guy.

Get him in there.
BOY: No!

NO! Don't...

NO!

Nasty!

BOY: Get me out of here!

Hello?

Wow!

Merry birthday, sweetheart.

(SINGING)
Hey

Ooh, hoo

Hurry home and come round here

I really love
this time of year

Making plans
to get together

Memories that will
last forever

Sharing laughter and
sharing joy

Everyone is singing,
all the girls and boys

Some kind of magic
is in the air

To make a special moment
we can share

The snow is falling...

It's quiet.

Too quiet.

EMMA:
Billy, they agreed.

His grandpa's not gonna
do anything.

If my grandpa makes a move,
I'll be ready.

See that Santa chair?

BILLY: Yeah.

I booby-trapped it.

Did somebody say "boobies"?

Go away, Steve.

This eggnog
tastes funny.

Let me fix it
for you.

Ooh!

Hey, everybody!

Guess who's here!

Ho,ho,ho!
Merry Christmas.

Here comes Santa.

(KIDS SCREAM EXCITEDLY)

KIDS: Santa!

Better watch out,
better not pout.

I got toys and goodies.
I got everything.

Wait a sec.

That's not my grandpa.

Ed?

No, thanks.
Got to stay alert.

Just in case.

Kid wouldn't have
the cojones to do anything.
You shook on it.

You never know.
You can't trust these kids.

Hey, Grandpa.

Hey. Nice party, huh, pal?

Sure is, buddy.

But I thought
you were playing
Santa Claus.

Me? Oh, no,
I leave that to
the professionals.

Jerry's been a mall Santa
ever since he retired.

That a problem, Pete?

Why would that
be a problem?

Just asking.

Hey, you want to get me
one of those sodas over there?

Thanks, kiddo.

Kid's up to something.
I can feel it.

Probably just
a coincidence.

(LAUGHING)

Ho,ho,ho!

JERRY:
And what's your name?

Let me guess.

It wasn't a name
20 years ago.

Am I right?
ARTHUR: Peter?

Dad, what's up?
You know where Mia is?

She's supposed to help me
with the hot dogs.

Nope.

Well, hey, come on.
I could use your help.

Hey, Grandpa.

What happened to you?
You're all wet.

Some questions don't have
answers, Pete.

Hey, cookie?

No, it's okay.
Oh, they're delicious.

No, it's really fine.
Especially this one.

I'm good.
You sure?

I'm sure.

Want to help me get some
mustard and ketchup on these

bad boys and get 'em out to
the kids before they get cold?

Sounds good, Dad.

I'll do the front row,
you do the back?

You're the boss.

I'm so sorry.
That just slipped.

I swear,
I didn't mean to do that.

What are you gonna do?

Oh, darn.

Bottles must be
overly full.

Hey, Dad? The Christmas lights
are on the fritz again.

Could you check on them?
I'm on it.

Yeah, and, Peter,
check on the air pump
for the bouncy house.

Could be a little bit...
Bouncier.

What the heck
is he up to now?

(SCREAMS) Grandpa!

Dad! Dad!

Dad?

Are you all right?

I'm Okay.
Found a quarter in here.

Peter, we said no pranks.

We shook hands on it,
man-to-man. What happened?

What are you
talking about?

Grandpa, I swear,
I didn't do that.

JERRY: Whoa!

Santa's dead!

Okay.
I might have did that.

That's not good.

(GROANS)

Danny,Ed,
did you see that?

Epic.

Here comes Santa.

Ho,ho,ho.

(GASPS)

My franks.
SALLY: Jerry!

Jerry, you all right?
What happened?

(SCREAMS)

Fire!

Everybody get back!
I got this!

Dad, I'll get the hose.
Okay.

All right, pull the pin.
Got it.

"Point away from face..."

I'm blind!

I'm blind!

I got it.

Grandpa, get out
of the way!

My Christmas tree.

My Christmas birthday cake.

Oh! What have we done?

No,no,no,no!

Peter!

Hi, Mom.

Mia?

Russell!

Don't you run away,
Russell!

Nothing happened.

Okay, this is
not my fault.

(ED GROANS)

Little help? Anybody?

That's a pretty good scrape
there, Mr. Marino.

Yeah?
You should see the tree.

Thank you.

What? What? It's nothing.
I'll be all right.

Sure, you'll be all right.
Dad's always all right.

Doesn't need anyone's help
or love.

Oh, Sally, please, come on.

You could've been killed, Dad.
Come on.

You're overdramatizing.
It was an accident.
That's all.

An accident?
Yeah.

What, you think I don't know
about the war, Dad?

Or should I say
"Senior Soldier"?

Oh... That.

What were
you two thinking?

Don't blame the kid, Sally.
Please.

It's all on me.
I'm the grown-up here,

and I should know better.
Yeah, you should've.

I'm sorry. Ijust...
Itgotoutofhand,and_.

I have the money
to pay for everything.

And I'll take my crew,
and we'll fix everything
the way it was.

It's not about the house
or the money, Dad.

If you hated living with us
so much, you just should've
said it.

I never said I hated
living with you.

Exacfly.
I just said you
never said it.

What I'm saying,
I never said that

We clear that up,
hopefully?

No. Forget about
what you never said.

The-the point is,
I just thought,

when you came home with us,
you'd realize that we love you

and you'd change your mind
about living alone.

But, of course,
that didn't happen.

You're so hell-bent on...

Funning it up.

Are you okay, Grandpa?
Yeah. Grandpa's fine.

Listen, sweetheart,
I'm really sorry

about what happened
at your birthday party.

It's okay.

I brought you something
to make you feel better.

That's very nice, but I gave
that to you, remember?

Don't you want it?

I think you need it more.

We can call it a loan.

That's very adult of you,
sweetheart.

You'll be able to
take him home soon.

The doctorjust needs
to review the X-rays.

We'll be in
the waiting room.

Can I go see him now?

No. It'll be a long time

before we leave the two of you
alone together again, ever.

Is he gonna be okay?

He'll be fine.
You and Mia,
on the other hand,

that's a different story.

You're both chor—rounded
for the next six months.

Chor—rounded?
What does that even mean?

Chores plus grounded,
times six months.

What?
Yeah.

So, that's a whole
lot of both, isn't it?
SALLY: Mmm-hmm.

But I didn't even do half
of the stuff that Peter did.

This is so not fair.

Can I be
chor-rounded, too?

SALLY: No, sweetie,
you don't have to
be chor—rounded.

Russell.

Don't you move a muscle.
Wait.

Wait, Mom! Come on!
Russell!

Dad, can you think
rationally about...

Russell!
She said not to move.

Russell!
Get away from me!

Get back here,
you coward!

Punk!

Okay, that's it.
Mom is certifiably insane.

I'm going out there.
Whoa, whoa. Hold on.

I know your mother.
She can handle this.

(YELLING)

(CHUCKLES ADMIRINGLY)

You're not gonna slug me,
are you, Mrs. Decker?

NO.

What's happening right now?

What's happening
right now is

I'm not gonna lose two years
of my daughter, Russell.

Come on, take it
before I change my mind.

Come by the house
tomorrow.

Really?
Yep.

And bring some
work clothes.

I've got this giant hole
in the second floor,
needs fixing.

Okay.

How'd that go?

Thanks a lot, Mom.

ldidn't hurt him.

Mmm-hmm.

Everything's gonna
be all right.

Let's go get Grandpa
and go home.

Excuse me. Can you
check on Mr. Marino,
see if he's ready to go?

on, he left already.

I thought you all left.

He said his brother
was picking him up.

Brother?
Yeah.

Chuck?

Chuck.

Who's Chuck?

Dad?
Ed?

Grandpa!
Grandpa!

MIA: Grandpa?
PETER: Grandpa!

ARTHUR: Ed?
SALLY: Dad?

MIA: Grandpa!

SALLY: Dad?
Mom!

Ijust got
off the phone with Jerry.
He hasn't seen him.

I shouldn't have
laid into him so hard.

It's Peter's fault.
He made Grandpa run away.

Yeah, Peter, but at least
you got your room back.

Happy now?

Peter, you still with us?

I think I know where
Grandpa went.

I like the fireplace
a lot.

They don't make 'em
like this anymore.

Thanks.

You know, there are secrets
inside these walls.

Oh. Hmm.
hmm.

Wait.

I started this.

I'd like to be the one
to end it.

Hi, Chuck.

Grandpa.

Peter.
Um... What's going on?

You moved out of your room.
It's your room, kiddo.

It always was.

I decided...
I want you to have it.

I don't want you
to leave, Grandpa.

Peter, I think we both know
the room will always
be between us.

No, itwon't. Besides,
I love the attic.

I don't know why I got mad
about that old, smelly room
in the first place.

Honest.

So you've
got to come back.

(SIGHS)

It's not
that easy, kiddo.

PETER: I'll do anything.

I'll get back every marble
for you. I swear.

Oh... Pete.

Grandpa, please.

I feel so ashamed
of how I acted.

Ijust want to curl up
in a ball and die.

It's all my fault.

NO. Don't you believe that
for one second.
It's both our faults.

You were just defending
what was yours.

Maybe this is how wars get
started and just go on and on.

Your enemy does something
bad to you, so you do
something worse back to him.

And he gets you back,
and you get him back.

And the whole thing
just gets worse and worse.

And in the end,
somebodyjust
drops a bomb.

Isn't that how it happens?
That's how it happens.

I don't ever want
to go to war.

I'm very glad to hear
you say that, and I hope
to God you never have to.

Can I tell you something,
though?

I kind of enjoyed
matching wits
with a fellow crazy man.

Really?
Yeah.

It helped me get over
my sadness
for your grandmother.

Plus,
you got me pretty good
a couple times.

Not as good
as you got me.

Yeah.

Please come home, Grandpa.

Come here.

MAN: All righty, Mr. Decker,
ifyou'll sign right there.

You know, Iwas gonna
cut this tree down myself.

But my wife,
with the whole
chain saw thing.

You know,
I can use a chain saw
any time I want.

Yeah.
I believe that, man.

Here, if you need
anything else,

just give me a call
at the office, all right?

Yeah. I mean,
I can use it any time
Iwant.

Yeah. Have some dignity.
It's just a chain saw.

Why? Did she
say something?

Hey, Grandpa.
I'm ready to go fishing.

Oh, Petey, I guess I forgot
to tell you, I can't
take you fishing today.

Why? It's Saturday.
We always go
fishing. It's our thing.

I know. We do, kiddo,
and Iwish I could,

but I made other plans,
but we'll make up for it.

Like what?

Little matinee,
maybe hit that
new gelato place.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

See? That's for me.
Got to go.

We'll make up for it.

Is everything all right?
Yeah, just Peter.

We should go.

(SINGING)

Grandpa! Grandpa!

Hi, Grandpa.

(SINGING)
Uh, huh, oh, oh, oh

War
What is it really good for

See?

Show me the point of war

So many lives were torn apart
Because of war

It doesn't make sense to me

It doesn’t make sense to
War

It doesn't make sense to me

It doesn't make sense at all

Life in this world could be
So beautiful

If it wasn’t for some people
Acting miserable

Too many of these countries

Look at that.

Are political

And we ’re stuck in the middle

Stuck in the middle
Oh

We just need to let go

All these wars leave a mess

E veryone’s under stress

Living life with regrets

Too much?
MAN: We're good!

(GROANS)

Oh!

And the pain tears us down

(ALL CHEERING)

War
What is it really good for?

Show me the point of war

So many lives were torn apart
Because of war

Doesn’t make sense to me

Doesn't make sense to
War

Another one.

Doesn’t make sense to me

Ijust saw your...

I like it.
Get the blood flow.

So uncomfortable...

My...

Russell.
Russell! Russell.

I didn't know
that made the cut.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Got something in my throat.

All these wars leave a mess...

(VOCALIZING)

What, did he move?

Golly, he's still alive.

Tune in to the next episode
of...

(SNEEZING)

Let me do that again.

Hey. How can I help you?

How can I doobie-do ya?
How can I help you out?

Doobie, doobie, doobie.
Yeah!

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

Oh, come on.

Crawling on my back.

And you actually
ride that thing?

Hells yes. Fun.

F-U-N-N.

MAN: Last time, again.

What the hell is that?

I didn't know you were
a Marine.
I wasn't. I'm just saying.

Get him in there.

Come on.
I don't even know
you guys.

Doesn’t make sense at all

MAN: All right.

We got it.
I think we're good.

(ALL CHEERING)

I work for some
soul-sucking corporate firm

that has no interest in
the cares or worries of its...

MAN 1: Cutting.

MAN 2: Good.

(LAUGHTER)

Good talk.