All language subtitles for Two And a Half Men - 02x11 - Last Chance to See Those Tattoos.DVDRip.XviD-SAINTS.English.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:04,956 Two white wines and a Jack and ginger. 2 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,029 Please tell me the Jack and ginger isn't for you. 3 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,191 No, it's for my girlfriend. Why? 4 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:13,150 You look like a woman of discriminating taste... 5 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,595 ...and mixing a quality bourbon with ginger ale... 6 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,309 ...is like putting Cheez Whiz on lobster Newburgh. 7 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,108 Well, what if I said the Jack and ginger was for me? 8 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,194 Well, then, I'd learn to live with it. 9 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,514 - Charlie. - Gail. 10 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,829 Sorry I'm late. I stopped off at Radio Barn, and wait till you see what I got. 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,956 Alan, I'm kind of in the middle of... 12 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,398 Damn you to hell. 13 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,630 - What? What did I do? - Forget it. 14 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,836 It's who you are, you can't help yourself. 15 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,279 Okay. Anyway, check this out. Know what that is? 16 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,953 - A two megapixel, full-color webcam. - Right. 17 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,395 How do I do it? 18 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,672 I got one for me and for Jake. We can hook them to our computers... 19 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,434 ...so when he's at his mother's, we can have video chats. 20 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:03,794 - That's cool. - Isn't it? 21 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,475 Yeah, with a couple of these, phone sex becomes less phone and more sex. 22 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,355 These are to maintain my relationship with Jake. 23 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,112 It's the worst part of the divorce: 24 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,840 - Only seeing him on weekends. - I get that. I sympathize. 25 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,753 But you can see the validity of my vision too, right? 26 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:23,077 Oh, look. Built-in microphone. Totally hands-free. Perfect. 27 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,919 - Excuse me. - Oh, hey, Gail. Good to see you again. 28 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,798 Don't move, don't talk. 29 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,399 - Are you Charlie Harper? - Yeah. Why? 30 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,597 You were right. It's him. 31 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,078 What...? What...? What's funny? 32 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,958 Nothing. 33 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,472 So listen, can I buy you a drink? 34 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,756 He wants to buy me a drink. 35 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,595 Then what? We go back to your beach house... 36 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,719 ...sit on the deck, look at the stars, talk about how you love being an uncle... 37 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,996 ...and how you'd like kids of your own... 38 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,357 ...and by the way, I have the most beautiful eyes in the world. 39 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,074 I'm sorry. Have we met before? 40 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,194 No. And we're not gonna meet now. 41 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,355 Okay. I have a bad feeling. 42 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,671 Is the camera on? 43 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,996 Good. Now, hit "connect." 44 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,839 I can see you. Can you see me? 45 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,638 Yeah, yeah. I can hear you too. You can hang up the phone. 46 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,392 This is awesome. 47 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,518 - Yeah, we can see each other every day. - Cool. 48 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,438 So... 49 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,479 What's new? 50 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,153 Nothing. 51 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,076 What's new with you? 52 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,752 Not much. 53 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,791 - Hey, Charlie. - Rose, stop. 54 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,595 - What? - We're friends now, right? 55 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,115 Right. 56 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,955 Our one-night stand is ancient history. You're not stalking me anymore, right? 57 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,510 - Right. - Then use the damn stairs. 58 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,915 - Really? - Yes. 59 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,593 Okay. 60 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:33,759 - I'm opening up the gate. - I'm proud of you. 61 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:37,469 - I'm starting up the stairs. - You can do it. 62 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,912 Oh, boy. 63 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,514 I don't know about this. 64 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,236 - You'll get used to it. - Yeah, we'll see. 65 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,991 I'm surprised to see you home. 66 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,594 - It's ladies' night at Pavlov's. - I know. 67 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,275 Well, isn't that kind of like rabbit season for Elmer Fudd? 68 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,119 Used to be. 69 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,838 Let me ask you question. 70 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,754 How much do chicks talk about men they've been with? 71 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,599 Not as much as you'd think. 72 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,109 - Really? - Way more. 73 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,794 - Why? - Well, I ran into some women last night. 74 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,234 Never met them before. 75 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,073 But they seem to have already formed a poor opinion of me. 76 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,398 So you think somebody's out there spreading nasty rumors? 77 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,269 Worse. I think somebody's out there spreading the truth. 78 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,074 Well, you have burned a few bridges in this town. 79 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,279 Hey, I don't burn bridges. I have casual sex with relative strangers. 80 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,237 There's a difference. 81 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:34,473 And I'm always honest. 82 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:39,156 I never lead a woman on. Unless I'm, you know, totally bombed. 83 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:44,513 Last night was probably the result of one woman with an ax to grind. 84 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,159 Probably. 85 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,719 Yeah, that's it. 86 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,952 - I'm making myself crazy over nothing. - Oh, I do that all the time. 87 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,395 It's a great way to fill up a slow weekend. 88 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,190 Rose, that night we spent together... 89 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,191 ...did I tell you you had beautiful eyes? 90 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,959 Well, let's see. We had a couple of drinks, you invited me back here. 91 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,635 We were sitting out on the deck, looking at the stars. 92 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,552 And, yeah, you said: 93 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,235 "By the way, you have the most beautiful eyes in the world." 94 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,871 I guess I do use that a lot. 95 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,519 But, damn it, it's good. 96 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,914 Are you sure it's not red? Look again. 97 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:31,078 It looks fine. You have to go to school tomorrow. 98 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,748 - Good night, Rose. - Night, Charlie. 99 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,070 And don't forget to use the... 100 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,912 Never mind. 101 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,513 Oh, Charlie, Charlie. Come here. 102 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,433 - Say hello to your Uncle Charlie. - Hey, Uncle Charlie. 103 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,909 - Hi, Jake. - I can see you. 104 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,752 I can see you too. 105 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:49,999 So... 106 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,072 What's new? 107 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,674 Not much. What's new with you? 108 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,512 Nothing. Oh, wait. I Googled you... 109 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,432 ... and you'll never guess what I found. 110 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,556 Jake, are you in the bathtub? 111 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,153 Yeah. Gotta go. 112 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,629 No, no, no. Wait, Jake, what are you talking about? 113 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,552 - What's he talking about? - I don't know. 114 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,234 But if you Google me, you'll find pages that mention... 115 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,392 ...my San Fernando Valley Chiropractor of the Year award. 116 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,278 That's nice. Get out of the way. 117 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,638 Oh, careful. There's another Alan J. Harper. 118 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,679 He's a school bus driver, and he also makes these decorative pigs... 119 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,400 ...out of bleach bottles and pipe cleaners. 120 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,869 I'm not Googling you. I'm Googling me. 121 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,549 "CharlieHarperSucks. Com." 122 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,995 That's gotta be a different Charlie Harper. 123 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,354 Okay. 124 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,238 I have a bad feeling. 125 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,679 Oh, boy. 126 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,316 Oh, man. 127 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,750 Oh, crap. 128 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,393 - Are you still reading that thing? - How can I not? 129 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,313 It's an entire website devoted to trashing me. 130 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,754 Listen to this: 131 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,674 "Has anybody had sex with Charlie where he actually took his socks off?" 132 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,594 That's just mean. I have bad circulation in my feet. 133 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,796 They get cold. 134 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,239 Check this out. Some girl posted audio off her answering machine. 135 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,437 Hey, it's me. I just wanted to tell you I had a great time last night. 136 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,353 - And I'm looking forward... - Hello, Charlie? 137 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,351 Yeah, hi. 138 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,795 We weren 't together last night. 139 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:38,713 Allison? 140 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,950 No, Beth. 141 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,189 Thursday. 142 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,429 I had a great time with you Thursday, and I thought that may... 143 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,389 Oh, Alan, what am I gonna do? 144 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,790 Every woman in the city can see this stuff. 145 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,598 Every woman in the world. 146 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,472 Oh, God. 147 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,949 Well, you know what they say. 148 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,350 Any publicity is... 149 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,511 Good publicity. 150 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,075 No, no, no. What I do requires secrecy. 151 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,471 I need shadows and darkness. I'm like a magician. 152 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:12,679 If everybody knows how I do it, it ceases to be entertaining. 153 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,158 "Frequently Asked Questions." 154 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:17,799 - Don't read that. - Yeah, right. 155 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,110 Okay. Question: 156 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,869 "How long can you expect to date Charlie after you have sex with him?" 157 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,918 Answer: " It depends how late you sleep the next morning." 158 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,915 Oh, come on. This is funny. You're just too close to it. 159 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,395 This could be interesting. Question: 160 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:38,358 "How does Charlie manage to fake my orgasm?" 161 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,715 All right, stop it. Move over. 162 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,996 - What are you doing? - I've gotta fight back. 163 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,435 Anybody can post on the message board. Why not me? 164 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,989 - You're gonna post as yourself? - Don't be ridiculous. 165 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,878 Everybody uses a screen name. 166 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:53,072 "CharlieFreak219." 167 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,912 Too many? 168 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,798 Okay. 169 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,231 CharlieFreak180. 170 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,995 "In my experience... 171 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:09,229 ...Charlie has always been... 172 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,914 ...a generous lover... 173 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,993 ...compassionate, fun-Ioving and sensitive." 174 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,630 There. That ought to bring a little balance to the conversation. 175 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,473 You really don't get the Internet, do you? 176 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,118 Oh, look. I've got a response already. 177 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,716 "Dear Freak: Are you just stupid... 178 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,589 ...or did your skull bounce off his headboard too many times?" 179 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,876 Okay, I've had enough of this. 180 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,430 - How do I delete this whole thing? - You can't delete a website. 181 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,511 Only the person who created it can. 182 00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:46,036 - Well, how do I find out who created it? - Now, let's see. Come on. 183 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,236 Okay. 184 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:53,033 Okay, the domain is the property of a company in the Cayman Islands called: 185 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,113 "Charlie Harper Sucks Limited." 186 00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,194 Well, that's no help. 187 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,910 Hey, you can buy T-shirts and coffee mugs. 188 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,469 "Add to cart." 189 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,874 No, Mom, it is not that simple. 190 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,237 I am a single mother now. Dating is very complicated. 191 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,158 I understand. 192 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,550 No, I can 't go back to Alan. 193 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,312 Of course I still love him. 194 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,158 Hey, Alan? 195 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,675 How long you think this Internet fad is gonna last? 196 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,479 - Okay. - What? 197 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,793 Jake must've turned on his webcam before he went to school. 198 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,839 I can see and hear Judith talking to her mother on the phone. 199 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,195 - Why can't she hear us? - Our side's turned off. 200 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,238 Are you kidding? Alan would never take me back. How do I know? 201 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,038 I just know. 202 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,838 Okay, fine. I'll ask him. 203 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,956 - She wants me back. - Yes, I will ask him. 204 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,633 That's nice. It's all about you. 205 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,153 Okay. 206 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,356 Listen, Mom, I gotta get in the shower. 207 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,718 I got it. Yes. 208 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,393 All right. I'll call you later. 209 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,871 Oh, man. 210 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,715 - Charlie, I need to talk about this. - Me too. 211 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,916 If I don't do something about that website... 212 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,036 ...I'm gonna have to chase Amish broads. 213 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,749 Judith wants to reconcile. I've dreamed about this... 214 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,514 ...but now that it's here, I wonder if it's what I want. 215 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:27,275 Whoever put up that site has to be somebody I went out with at least once. 216 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,238 It would be great for Jake to have both parents in one house. 217 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,075 And without alimony, I could stop getting my hair cut at the barber college. 218 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,312 I can eliminate married chicks, ones that don't speak English... 219 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,914 ...and those to whom I was never properly introduced. 220 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,753 I'll make a list of the pros and cons of going back to her. 221 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,388 You know what? I'm gonna need to make a list. 222 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,950 - I'm glad we talked. - I'm always here for you. 223 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,553 Me too. 224 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,830 Hi, Tina. Long time, huh? 225 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,037 Charlie Harper. What do you want? 226 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,868 I know things didn't end well between us, and... 227 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,951 Really? I thought they ended perfectly. 228 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,510 We spent a week in Cancún, having great sex every day. 229 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,911 Flew back to L.A. You told me you'd call me tomorrow, and it's been... 230 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,310 What do you know? A year and a half. 231 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,156 - That long? - Oh, yeah. 232 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,278 I guess time flies when you're the scum of the earth. 233 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,279 Okay, I had that coming. 234 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:37,798 I was thoughtless and insensitive, and I know I can never really make up for it... 235 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:44,274 ...but I want you to know that I was wrong, and I'm really, truly sorry. 236 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,760 - And...? - No "and." 237 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,435 I just wanted to apologize for being a jerk. I wanna make amends. 238 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,839 - You really mean that, don't you? - I do. Absolutely. 239 00:12:56,680 --> 00:13:00,719 - You wanna come in for a cup of coffee? - Sure, I guess. 240 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,154 So, seeing anybody? 241 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:14,556 "Pro: No alimony. Con: No sex." 242 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,879 "Pro: See Jake all the time. Con: See Judith all the time." 243 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,553 What are you doing? Give me that. 244 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,154 - I'm sorry. It was just laying there. - That's private. 245 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,799 Okay. 246 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,400 I got another "pro" for you. 247 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,599 - Yeah? What's that? - Lf you hook back up with Olive Oyl... 248 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,354 ...I won't have to scrub your toilet anymore. 249 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:44,991 Pro: No more Berta. 250 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,989 You're not really thinking about going back, are you? 251 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,355 I don't know. She wants to, but I'm torn. 252 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,511 You're not torn. You're gutless. 253 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,311 - Do you still love her? - Of course I do. 254 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,916 I mean, you know, we've been though a lot of things together. 255 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:04,198 - She's the mother of my son. - Okay, listen to me, Zippy. 256 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,471 If that's all it took to make a marriage... 257 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,676 ...I'd have a husband for each of my tattoos. 258 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,349 - You have tattoos? - Yeah. You wanna see them? 259 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,554 No. 260 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,350 You're overthinking this. When your dog dies, you don't make a list. 261 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,238 You bury him, plant a shrub on top... 262 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,597 ...tell the kids he's running around a farm, and move on. 263 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,350 That's actually a very apt metaphor. 264 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,751 My failed marriage is like a dead dog. 265 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:35,913 But it serves as fertilizer for the shrub, which represents my new life. 266 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,908 So if I try to revitalize the marriage... You know, digging up the dog. 267 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,719 - Then I'm killing the shrub, which is me. 268 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,392 Like you said, it's apt. 269 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,989 Thank you, Berta. You're a very insightful woman. 270 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,232 I know. In a just world, you'd be washing my shorts. 271 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,874 Well, thanks, nevertheless. 272 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,998 Last chance to see those tattoos. 273 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,033 No thanks. 274 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,476 I can make the Road Runner do jumping jacks. 275 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,389 That was a fun apology. 276 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,510 Yeah, I really thought I was the one who deserved a spanking. 277 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,834 - So you'll call me? - Count on it. 278 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,997 Hey, not that I really care, but, do you happen to know... 279 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,918 ...who started that silly website? 280 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,991 No. I just found it by Googling your name. 281 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,720 Most women Google the guys they go out with, you know. 282 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,711 Yeah, I've heard. 283 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,070 - Well, I'll see you soon. - You better. 284 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,799 Okay. That went well. 285 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,150 Let's see. Who's next? 286 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,672 Jake, why don't you go watch some TV. I need to talk to your dad. 287 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,196 Is this about the firecrackers? What firecrackers? 288 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,318 I'll go watch TV. 289 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,399 Come in, sit down. 290 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,869 Thanks. Listen... 291 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,239 - Boy, this is tough. - Okay, okay, maybe... 292 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,755 ...I can make it easier for you. 293 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,399 Judith... 294 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,030 ...I will always love you... 295 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,676 ...but there's no going back for me. 296 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,116 I've learned a lot about myself in the last year, and I'm growing. 297 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,794 And... And I wanna keep on growing. 298 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:14,556 I will always cherish what we had... 299 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,351 ...but I have to fertilize my shrub. 300 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,399 - What are you talking about? - It's Berta's metaphor. 301 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,996 The... The bottom line is: I don't want to reconcile. 302 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,832 Our marriage is over. 303 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,275 Well, what makes you think I wanna reconcile? 304 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,036 What did you wanna talk to me about? 305 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,592 My mom wanted me to ask if Jake could spend a couple of weeks... 306 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,512 ...with them this summer. - Oh, really? 307 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,240 - That's what she wanted you to ask me? - Yes. 308 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,829 You didn't tell her you loved me, you missed me? 309 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,434 Well, I always tell her that to shut her up. 310 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,672 And how the hell do you know what I talk to my mother about? 311 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,358 Hey, look, Charlie's here. 312 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,838 - Answer my question, Alan. - Hold on a second, Judith. 313 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,788 - Charlie, what's wrong? - I've been making amends. 314 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,470 Five amends in one afternoon. 315 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:16,838 Well, technically, four. I had to fake the last one. 316 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,188 - Charlie, Alan and I are talking. - Don't worry. 317 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,999 I'll be out of your way as soon as I check on something. 318 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:25,878 They all denied running the website... 319 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,157 ...but at least I should have some good reviews now. 320 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,514 Listen to this: 321 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:35,116 "Charlie came over and apologized today, and, oh, what an apology it was. 322 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,669 I take back everything nasty I ever said about him." 323 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,592 Not bad, huh? 324 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,669 Here's another one: 325 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,759 "He apologized to you today? 326 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,718 He apologized to me too." 327 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,111 Okay, I have a bad feeling again. 328 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,396 Alan, how do you know what I said to my mother? 329 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:01,030 I didn't actually know. I surmised. 330 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,792 I should go talk to Charlie. 331 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,077 Hey, Dad, check it out. I can see my room on your computer. 332 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:12,229 Okay, now I've got a bad feeling. 333 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,275 My heart was in the right place, Rose. 334 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,034 - I know. - All I wanted to do was apologize. 335 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,760 - I had no ulterior motives. - I believe you. 336 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,512 Thank you. 337 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:28,714 Did I ever apologize to you? 338 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:33,753 You mean, for our one-night stand that kind of, sort of broke my heart? 339 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,634 Yeah, for that. 340 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,393 No, not really. 341 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,757 Okay, well, I am truly sorry. 342 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,354 You're a wonderful person, and you deserved better. 343 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,837 Thank you, Charlie. 344 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,673 - That's sweet. - I mean it. 345 00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,957 - What's that? - Oh, this? 346 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:04,033 It's one of those new web browser, e-mail gadgets. 347 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,151 Cool. 348 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,351 Subtitles by SDI Media Group 349 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,511 [ENGLISH] 27580

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