Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,000
? ROBOCOBRA QUARTET: Wellness
2
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,559
? It's 7:00am
3
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,039
? I wake after having had on average
4
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,839
? Seven hours and 41 minutes sleep
5
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,239
? I've analysed my sleep
over the years
6
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,840
? And found this is
the perfect amount for me
7
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,759
? I often got to Hyde Park,
take off my shoes
8
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,279
? And stare at the sun
for 20 minutes
9
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:50,999
? Being barefoot grounds me
10
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,479
? And I receive electrons
from the Earth
11
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:56,639
? I sun-stare because the UV rays
aren't toxic in my eyes
12
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,399
? The first hour after sunrise
13
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,640
? And it resets my circadian rhythms
14
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:04,959
? 8:30
15
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,959
? Turn on my human charger
16
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,719
? A device that shines light
into my ear and gives me energy...
17
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,360
Big day today?
Yep!
18
00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:22,039
? At some point between meetings
19
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,439
? I try to have a shot
of activated charcoal
20
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,279
? They sell it out of Pret now
21
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,960
? Mm, we're so blessed in Britain
Cheers buddy.
22
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,279
I love you! Seamus!
Seamus!
23
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,239
Hey you.
Seamus?
24
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,239
I just wanted to say a quick hello-
Oh yeah! Sure, let's do this.
25
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,879
Ok, here we go... Smile!
26
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,719
Have a good day, you.
27
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,359
Seamus!
Hey, buddy.
28
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,399
There's lots of-Sorry...
29
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,599
Seamus.
30
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,999
They said we've got
to have it out by Thursday.
31
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,119
Seamus!
Hey, Tim!
32
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,080
Seamus!
Ah-ha-ha!
33
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,599
Ndidi.
Hi.
34
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,359
Uh, have you two already met?
35
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,360
Sort of. I'm Ndidi.
36
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,799
Your producer.
Oh, hi!
37
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,119
God. I'm sorry,
I thought you were a...
38
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,959
I thought you were a fan!
Oh no, I am a fan!
39
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,719
But I'm-I'm also a producer!
Agh!
40
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,440
I feel like a dick!
41
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,359
Right, come on!
Yeah, yeah.
42
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,319
That's it so far.
Seamus O'Hannigan's TV show.
43
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,599
It's fucking amazing!
When can I tweet about it?
44
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,279
We're officially announcing at noon.
And there's been a change
45
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,919
in location too. I don't know
if your agent's told you.
46
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,999
No?
We're broadcasting from somewhere
47
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,439
a bit different from the norm.
It's really exciting.
48
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,080
Somewhere you know very well.
Begins with an I.
49
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,359
Islington! Woo!
I won't even need a driver!
50
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,799
No, no, no, no Ireland.
Northern Ireland.
51
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,039
Belfast, to be precise.
52
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,919
Belfast?
We thought you'd be happy.
53
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:03,119
Isn't that where you're from?
Um...
54
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,479
Well, my-my mum was, yeah,
but I...
55
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,439
I haven't been back for years.
56
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,079
It's not ideal, but you only have
to be there one or two days a week.
57
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,879
We're under pressure to produce
more content from outside London.
58
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,639
It was Belfast or Cardiff,
so we thought with your background-
59
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:18,039
This is good.
I'm... No, I'm-I'm happy.
60
00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,479
Give me a chance to...
61
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,480
"get back in touch wit' me roots".
62
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,359
? YOUNG SPENCER:
Straight Outta Belfast
63
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,479
? Straight out of Belfast
and I'm bringing the boys
64
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,559
? I got on Luca on the beat,
we're bringing the noise
65
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,319
? In the north, west,
south, and the east
66
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,119
? I've reds, blues,
orange and greens
67
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,079
? In the Woodvale, Oldpark, GC, BS
68
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,959
? Screaming skulls and the SRD
69
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,719
? Ah, in the west,
Poleglass and Twinbrook
70
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,519
? Ah, down Divis that be
spinning the wheels
71
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,279
? Ain't no ah can do what we do
72
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,240
? Bombing MD...
Fuck it.
73
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,440
? ..Keeper lit ya cunt, yee. ?
74
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,200
Damaged goods.
75
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,680
Janet?
76
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,159
I'll keep this brief, Janet.
You'll keep what brief?
77
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,559
What I'm about to say to you.
What are you about to say?
78
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,719
I'm about to say it
if you'll let me speak-
79
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,519
Oh, I wouldn't call this brief.
Stop it!
80
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,319
Stop everything you're doing.
81
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,559
The swearing, lateness, stealing-
I don't swear.
82
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,759
You swore at Jason.
He provoked me.
83
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,560
Why, what did he say?
"Good morning"
84
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,960
So, he said "good morning"
and you said...
85
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,719
"Suck a fucking dick"?
Who says "good morning" anyway?
86
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,359
I mean, what does he think he is?
A fucking Disney princess?!
87
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,319
He's lucky I didn't punch him.
Janet, I do not enjoy firing people.
88
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,879
But if you keep going like this-
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll stop it.
89
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,799
I'll stop everything.
Yeah. Take the rest of the day off.
90
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,360
Come in tomorrow with a new attitude.
I'll do it tonight.
91
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,960
Do what?
92
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,839
How's your mental health these days?
93
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:04,800
Suck a fucking dick, Philip.
94
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,519
The issue of setting up a truth
and Reconciliation Commission...
95
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,279
The visiting group of senators
will be talking to the leaders
96
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:15,159
of all the main parties
to try to find a way forward...
97
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:19,359
Join me, Seamus O'Hannigan,
for a brand-new current affairs show
98
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,759
broadcasting live
from Belfast this Sunday.
99
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,839
This Sunday with Seamus O'Hannigan.
100
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,639
We'll be talking to the UK's
leading politicians and asking them
101
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,279
the questions you want answered.
So join us this Sunday for
102
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:37,360
This Sunday with Seamus O'Hannigan,
with me, Seamus O'Hannigan.
103
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,079
Cut!
It's a bit repetitive isn't it?
104
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,559
Yeah...
A few too many "This Sundays".
105
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,800
Yeah.
And too many "Seamus O'Hannigans"?
106
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,759
Yeah.
Yeah.
107
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,200
Yeah, maybe.
108
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,959
Ndidi.
Yeah?
109
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,599
Ndidi?
Yeah.
110
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,640
Er...
Sorry. Thanks.
111
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,519
Are these... Are these new pages?
112
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,999
I thought you'd missed
- some important points.
- Yeah.
113
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,959
Let's not bring up suicide,
shall we?
114
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,199
We don't want to lose our audience
in the first week.
115
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,159
Northern Ireland has one of
the highest suicide rates in the UK.
116
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,879
I thought we should at least-
Look, I get it Ndidi. You're...
117
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,119
keen to make a mark.
But, um, hey,
118
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,600
I've been doing this a long time.
So, let me try something, OK?
119
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,240
What is unemployment?
120
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:46,479
Wikipedia defines unemployment as
"the situation of actively
121
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:50,200
looking for employment whilst not
currently being employed".
122
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,599
Like these "lads"
you see standing next me.
123
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:58,159
Here, in this divided city,
still reeling
124
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,639
from the collective national trauma
125
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,359
of the conflict known as
"The Troubles".
126
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,639
You can sense the legacy of violence
127
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,439
still resting
on their young shoulders.
128
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,439
Now, to you or I
they may seem desperate,
129
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,960
dangerous, criminal, even.
130
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,559
- Hello!
- Fuck off.
These young men...
131
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,999
Dickhead.
Seek only one thing...
132
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,600
Hope.
133
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,879
Jesus fucking Christ!
Who are you calling dangerous?
134
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,199
I wasn't actually calling you-
God! Everyone calm down.
135
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,159
No! Stop it!
136
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,679
We have permission to film!
Blah!
137
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,479
Help! Jesus!
138
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,840
Please, get off him!
Call the police!
139
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,319
Leave me alone! Leave me alone!
140
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,639
Help!
141
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,800
Seamus!
142
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,639
There he is! Get after him!
143
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,760
Fuck.
144
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,839
Little shits!
Come here! Come back!
145
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,920
We only want to talk to you
about your TV show.
146
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,360
Fuck!
147
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,040
Grab those legs!
148
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:43,440
Help me!
149
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,840
You saved my life.
150
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:04,919
You saved mine.
151
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,119
Fucking prick!
They took my phone. Wait!
152
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,959
Can I just come in and, um...
153
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,959
Please, er, can I call a taxi?
154
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,400
Can a girl
not kill herself in peace today?!
155
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,199
And as we enter
this year's marching season,
156
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,319
tensions are rising
throughout the province...
157
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,319
I'm fucking drenched.
158
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,479
Fucking all over you.
Look at the state of yous.
159
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,199
Fuckin' all over me.
160
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,199
Of parades
but as yet no consensus has been...
161
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,039
fighting this battle for...
starting to hot up,
162
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,239
but the red team and the blue team
163
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,280
are trying to make
a profit of their own.
164
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,040
Hello. Hi.
165
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,879
Um, listen, would you...
would you mind if I wait inside?
166
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,119
It's just there's still
some rather...
167
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,999
unsavoury characters out there
and, um...
168
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,800
Do you wanna watch TV?
169
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,840
Y-Y-Yeah, yeah?
170
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,560
There's nothing on.
Oh?
171
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,680
Oh! Shit my phone!
172
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,119
How long did they say they'd be?
The taxi?
173
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,480
Yeah.
Um... Oh, er, about...
174
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:02,000
20 minutes, so not long.
175
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,199
No.
176
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,239
Not long at all.
177
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,320
You hungry?
178
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,279
It's just toast.
179
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,760
I wasn't planning
on having dinner tonight.
180
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,000
So...
why do you want to kill yourself?
181
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,599
What brings you to Belfast?
Oh, um...
182
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,079
I'm, uh, presenting a TV series.
183
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,519
You're presenting?
Yes.
184
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,039
A TV series?
Yes.
185
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,519
You're presenting?
Yes.
186
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,999
A TV series?
Yes.
187
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,079
Are you a TV presenter?
Yeah.
188
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,999
Fuck off!
That was quite sore actually.
189
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,199
Are you famous?
Er, well kind of.
190
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,279
Ow.
Could you stop hitting me please?
191
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:47,719
Fuck! A famous TV presenter!
192
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,759
In my kitchen!
193
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,920
Do you really not know who I am?
No.
194
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,559
I thought you did the way you were
looking at me in the bedroom.
195
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,519
I wasn't looking at you
- in the bedroom.
- You were.
196
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,599
You were looking at me
- in the mirror.
- I don't know
what you're talking about.
197
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,799
If anything, you were looking at me.
How would you know
198
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,199
I was looking at you
unless you were looking at me?
199
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,799
What's your TV show called?
Uh, it's called
200
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,399
This Sunday with Seamus O'Hannigan.
Who's Seamus O'Hannigan?
201
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,960
Well, I am. Oh.
202
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,999
What other TV shows
- have you presented?
- Uh...
203
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,039
Well... Well, technically...
204
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,639
OK, I came from radio-
You're not actually a TV presenter.
205
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,559
Well, I mean
I've guest presented things.
206
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,599
I've been a panellist
on other shows.
207
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,599
What kind of shows?
The Politics Hour.
208
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,439
Never heard of it.
Politics Today?
209
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,999
Nope.
The Political Notebook?
210
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,599
I don't really follow politics.
That's probably why
you haven't heard of me.
211
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,079
Probably cos you're not really
- famous.
- But I am quite famous.
212
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,279
But not famous like Charlotte Crosby
- or Stacey Solomon.
- Who are they?
213
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,359
Geordie Shore?
Who's Geordie Shore?
214
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,999
Oh no, don't worry, don't worry,
I-I'll look them up.
215
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,040
Oh, fucking hell, my phone!
216
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,599
How do you not know
who Stacey Solomon is?
217
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,999
X Factor? I'm a Celebrity?
Celebrity Juice?
218
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,399
Celebrity Gogglebox?
Oh jeez, you mean Reality TV?
219
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,199
Jesus Christ, no. I mean,
that's just for ignorant morons
220
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,720
who'd be better off shooting
themselves in the fucking face.
221
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,040
No offence.
222
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,960
That'll be your taxi.
223
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,640
Yeah...
224
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:30,520
Uh... Listen, are you gonna be ok?
225
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,360
Fuck!
226
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,480
Oh fuck! Oh shit!
227
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,079
Fuck, fuck, oh fuck.
228
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,959
Fuck, oh shit.
229
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,000
Oh? Oh fuck!
230
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,119
Oh.
231
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,560
Fucking hell!
232
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,159
What are you doing here?
233
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,399
I thought you were trying
to kill yourself again.
234
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,200
I'm eating a bar of chocolate.
235
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,560
Would you mind calling me a taxi?
Again?
236
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,640
Please?
237
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,360
Er, no, that's dead on.
I'll try someone else.
238
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,239
I've rang every taxi firm
in East Belfast.
239
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,559
They're all booked up.
You won't get a cab for hours.
240
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,639
Oh... fuck.
241
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,879
Is-Is there no one else you can try?
Look, mate, I'm not doing this
242
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,999
all night!
Sorry, yeah. Ok. Well, thanks...
243
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,839
I can walk, I suppose.
244
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,200
Thanks for trying.
245
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,759
You're welcome to stay the night.
Oh. Uh, well...
246
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,039
Obviously, I don't mean-
No, I know, no I mean I-
247
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,919
It's just it's late, you know-
I didn't think you meant anything.
248
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,759
Anyway, the offer's there.
I appreciate it.
249
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,159
It's not an offer of anything
- more than a bed.
- Right. Right.
250
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,160
Oh and when I say bed, you know,
I don't mean, fucking-Gotcha.
251
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,280
You can sleep on the sofa. Thanks.
252
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,720
Woo-hoo!
253
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,480
Yeah!
254
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,639
So, do I have to worry about
an irate husband
255
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,719
coming home and finding
a strange man on his sofa?
256
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,119
My husband's dead.
257
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,560
Oh. Sorry.
258
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,480
He died two months ago.
259
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,679
Is that why you're depressed?
Who said I was depressed?
260
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,239
Oh, um, well you were...
261
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,679
You were trying to ki... Uh...
262
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,720
I'd prefer not to talk about it. OK.
263
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,960
It's just, it-it's good to talk
about these things. You know.
264
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,800
It's good to... It can be helpful
to get them off your chest.
265
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,880
And I'm-I'm a very good listener.
266
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,199
Well, actually-
In fact, I-I-I once interviewed
267
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:03,200
the former Archbishop of Canterbury,
Rowan Williams, and he said...
268
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,639
he said, it was the best interview
he's ever done because...
269
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,680
because I'm such a good listener.
270
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,919
Yeah, it might be good
- to talk about it, actually.
- Yeah.
271
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,960
Yeah...
272
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,319
So, how did he die?
I killed him.
273
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,159
What?
274
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,200
I murdered him. Oh...
275
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,920
It was a sex game gone wrong.
276
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,280
I was dominating him
and I took it too far.
277
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,279
I shoved a... what do you call it?
278
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,319
It's like a...
it's like a vibrator, but it...
279
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,239
it doesn't vibrate.
A dildo?
280
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,879
- Dildo?
- Yeah.
Yeah, a dildo.
281
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,680
Yeah, I shoved a dildo
down his throat and he, um...
282
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,400
he choked on it.
283
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,760
He choked on a dildo.
284
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,800
Mm.
285
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,839
I'm joking.
286
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,840
Fu...
287
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,560
He left me for another woman.
288
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,240
Sleep tight.
289
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,999
Hi.
Jesus Christ!
290
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,799
I couldn't sleep in my room
because of the broken window.
291
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,840
Yeah.
It's too cold.
292
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,800
Hiya.
293
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,720
Hi.
294
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,800
Better get ready for work.
295
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,919
'This Sunday with...'
296
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,319
'Hello and welcome
to the very first... very first...
297
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,479
Oh shit. Come on.
This Sunday with Seamus...
298
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,519
Hello we're in Belfast live for...'
299
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,320
Morning.
300
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,319
You alright?
301
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,279
Yeah, just... just a bit nervous.
302
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,359
About this interview.
What interview?
303
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:34,759
I'm interviewing the, uh...
304
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,760
the Secretary of State
for Work and Pensions.
305
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,759
You know, when I'm nervous I sing.
306
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,759
Sorry, you what?
I made up this wee song
307
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,400
and I sing it to myself
whenever I feel nervous.
308
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,999
Come on, let's hear it then.
309
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,159
No, I don't think so.
Come on sing the song.
310
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,239
No, I'm not singing it.
Please sing the song.
311
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,719
I'm not singing it.
It really... I wanna hear-
312
00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:00,679
Don't be nervous.
Nerves are for dickheads.
313
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:04,439
So, if you're nervous
that makes you a dickhead
314
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,959
So, don't be...
315
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,000
fucking nervous.
316
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,759
- Wow!
- I knew you wouldn't
fucking appreciate it.
317
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,759
No, no, it's not that,
it's just, it's like,
318
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,639
let's be honest,
- it doesn't rhyme at all.
- So?
319
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,479
Well, I mean, there's no tune.
320
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,960
I mean, you couldn't
categorise it as a song.
321
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,680
Well, it's worked though, hasn't it?
How?
322
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,480
It's... You're not worrying anymore.
323
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,439
Yeah.
324
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,599
? RYAN MCMULLAN: RUTHLESS CUPID
325
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,120
? Don't wanna leave
but I gotta go home
326
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,879
? Where'd you come from,
where did you go?
327
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,239
? I don't recall ever feeling so low
328
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,999
? Washed up and burned out,
30 years old
329
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,719
? I'm holding out
for a little romance
330
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,839
? But nobody's ever said
"shut up and dance"
331
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,119
? Like the way that you did babe
332
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:19,640
? Yeah, you made me feel something
333
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,519
What?
? Oh, honey come back
334
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,720
? You never told me your name
335
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,879
? What kind of game
have you got me in?
336
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,759
? Whatever it is, I'd let you win
337
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:39,199
? Oh, now I see you
with some other guy
338
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,799
? Washed up and pissed off...
If you can't stand the heat,
339
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,119
then get out of the kitchen.
I hope you've enjoyed
340
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:46,159
this first show as much as I have.
341
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,600
Thanks for joining us.
See you next Sunday.
342
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:55,119
Keep her lit, Seamus.
343
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:57,519
Well done Seamus,
that was brilliant.
344
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,079
We love you Seamus!
345
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,479
Get on Seamus.
346
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,720
? Oh, honey come back,
you never told me your name
347
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,279
Good morning.
348
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:15,759
? I should've known
it would always end up this way
349
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,199
? Oh, Cupid, you're ruthless
350
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,519
? Oh, Cupid, I'm just stupid
351
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,640
? But Cupid,
this goose chase ain't over yet. ?
352
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,239
Ladies and Gentlemen,
353
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,879
we are experiencing a little
turbulence coming into London.
354
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,799
Please remain in your seats
as the captain has
355
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,520
put on
the fasten your seatbelt sign.
356
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,599
Don't be nervous.
357
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,400
Nerves are for dickheads.
358
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,919
So, if you're nervous,
it makes you a dickhead.
359
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,439
So, don't be...
360
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,480
fucking nervous.
361
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,400
Huh.
362
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,199
Seamus?
I thought you were still in Ireland.
363
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,199
I just got back.
364
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:42,919
Oh my God,
what happened to your face?
365
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,359
I was attacked by a gang of thugs
in Belfast.
366
00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:47,800
Why didn't you call me?
They stole my phone.
367
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,480
Hi.
Hi.
368
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,679
Did-Did you still do the show?
Didn't you watch it?
369
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,159
Sorry, I actually
was filming all night.
370
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,280
Did you see my interview
in The Observer?
371
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,239
They mentioned you a lot.
Me? It's not about me.
372
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,759
You're a totally brilliant actor
in your own right.
373
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,360
I'm so sick of this
patriarchal bullshit!
374
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,200
Shall we go for dinner?
375
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,760
? THE VACCINES: If You Wanna
376
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,399
? Well, I don't want to wake up
in the morning
377
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,839
? But I've got to face the day
378
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,719
? That's what all the friends
379
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:25,280
? I do not like as much as you say
380
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,919
? I don't want
to do things independently
381
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,879
? But I can't make you stay
382
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,839
? That's what all the friends
383
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:38,160
? I do not like as much as you say
384
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,639
? But if you wanna come back
it's alright, it's alright
385
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,639
? It's alright if you wanna come back
386
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,919
? Do you wanna come back?
It's alright, it's alright
387
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:54,840
? It's alright
if you wanna come back to me
388
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,519
? Alone
389
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,480
? All alone
390
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:10,759
? I, I am on my own
391
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,199
? Alone
392
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,959
? All alone
393
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:22,199
? I, I am on my own
394
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,719
? But if you wanna come back
it's alright, it's alright
395
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,279
? It's alright
if you wanna come back
396
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,439
? Do you wanna come back?
It's alright, it's alright
397
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,760
? It's alright
if you wanna come back to me
398
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,959
? But do you wanna come back?
It's alright, it's alright
399
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,519
? It's alright
if you wanna come back
400
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,679
? Do you wanna come back?
It's alright, it's alright
401
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,279
? It's alright
if you wanna come back
402
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,519
? Do you wanna come back?
It's alright, it's alright
403
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,039
? It's alright
if you wanna come back
404
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,359
? Do you wanna come back?
It's alright, it's alright
405
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:10,240
? It's alright
if you wanna come back to me. ?
30587
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.