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00:00:03,305 --> 00:00:05,305
This programme contains full frontal
nudity, adult content
and strong language.
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00:00:05,345 --> 00:00:06,865
This programme contains full frontal
nudity, adult content
and strong language.
3
00:00:06,905 --> 00:00:08,625
Tantalising,
mysterious, mind-blowing.
4
00:00:08,665 --> 00:00:09,905
I got lube all over my jacket!
5
00:00:09,945 --> 00:00:11,945
While blokes get there in the blink
of an eye,
6
00:00:11,985 --> 00:00:12,665
While blokes get there in the blink
of an eye,
7
00:00:12,705 --> 00:00:14,705
the female orgasm is an altogether
more elusive thing.
8
00:00:14,745 --> 00:00:16,745
the female orgasm is an altogether
more elusive thing.
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00:00:16,785 --> 00:00:17,305
the female orgasm is an altogether
more elusive thing.
10
00:00:17,345 --> 00:00:19,345
My clit is literally going to fall
off.
11
00:00:19,385 --> 00:00:20,105
My clit is literally going to fall
off.
12
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,985
And as many as one in eight of us
13
00:00:22,025 --> 00:00:24,025
have never been able to climax
at all.
14
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:24,825
have never been able to climax
at all.
15
00:00:24,865 --> 00:00:26,865
Are you happy to just go through the
rest of your life and never orgasm?
16
00:00:26,905 --> 00:00:28,625
Are you happy to just go through the
rest of your life and never orgasm?
17
00:00:28,665 --> 00:00:29,865
I'd be fine.
18
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,425
Really?
19
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:32,625
I'm Yewande Biala,
20
00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:34,665
biologist, writer and former
Love Island contestant.
21
00:00:34,705 --> 00:00:36,345
biologist, writer and former
Love Island contestant.
22
00:00:36,385 --> 00:00:38,385
And at the age of 26,
I've still not managed to come.
23
00:00:38,425 --> 00:00:39,985
And at the age of 26,
I've still not managed to come.
24
00:00:40,025 --> 00:00:42,065
I don't even masturbate.
25
00:00:42,105 --> 00:00:44,105
Now I'm embarking
on a very personal journey...
26
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,065
Now I'm embarking
on a very personal journey...
27
00:00:45,105 --> 00:00:47,105
Can you see my vagina on screen?
28
00:00:47,145 --> 00:00:47,385
Can you see my vagina on screen?
29
00:00:47,425 --> 00:00:49,425
..in an attempt to enjoy my
first ever orgasm.
30
00:00:49,465 --> 00:00:50,745
..in an attempt to enjoy my
first ever orgasm.
31
00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:51,945
I've got some lube.
32
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,025
As I probe my body...
33
00:00:53,065 --> 00:00:55,065
Do you think
it's a good thing to masturbate?
34
00:00:55,105 --> 00:00:55,345
Do you think
it's a good thing to masturbate?
35
00:00:55,385 --> 00:00:56,745
Oh, come on, Yewande.
36
00:00:56,785 --> 00:00:58,025
..and my mind...
37
00:00:58,065 --> 00:00:59,585
I didn't know this.
38
00:00:59,625 --> 00:01:01,625
The crazy thing is that nobody
knows this.
39
00:01:01,665 --> 00:01:02,305
The crazy thing is that nobody
knows this.
40
00:01:02,345 --> 00:01:04,185
..and meet people like me,
41
00:01:04,225 --> 00:01:06,225
for whom sex is all foreplay
and no big bang...
42
00:01:06,265 --> 00:01:08,185
for whom sex is all foreplay
and no big bang...
43
00:01:08,225 --> 00:01:09,745
It's such a huge thing.
44
00:01:09,785 --> 00:01:11,785
..can I finally discover the secret
of the female orgasm?
45
00:01:11,825 --> 00:01:13,825
..can I finally discover the secret
of the female orgasm?
46
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:14,185
..can I finally discover the secret
of the female orgasm?
47
00:01:14,225 --> 00:01:16,225
This is a story to tell
my grandkids.
48
00:01:16,265 --> 00:01:16,785
This is a story to tell
my grandkids.
49
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,505
I'm in the middle of nowhere.
50
00:01:28,025 --> 00:01:30,025
To kick off my orgasmic journey,
51
00:01:30,065 --> 00:01:32,065
I'm diving into unfamiliar
territory.
52
00:01:32,105 --> 00:01:32,625
I'm diving into unfamiliar
territory.
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00:01:34,945 --> 00:01:36,945
This is something that a year ago,
I would have never imagined doing.
54
00:01:36,985 --> 00:01:38,985
This is something that a year ago,
I would have never imagined doing.
55
00:01:39,025 --> 00:01:40,585
This is something that a year ago,
I would have never imagined doing.
56
00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:42,625
Like, I've been so stuck in my ways
57
00:01:42,665 --> 00:01:43,145
Like, I've been so stuck in my ways
58
00:01:43,185 --> 00:01:45,185
and like, you know, been so scared
59
00:01:45,225 --> 00:01:45,865
and like, you know, been so scared
60
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:47,905
to, like, colour outside the lines.
61
00:01:47,945 --> 00:01:48,265
to, like, colour outside the lines.
62
00:01:48,305 --> 00:01:50,305
And I guess to understand myself
a little bit more,
63
00:01:50,345 --> 00:01:51,465
And I guess to understand myself
a little bit more,
64
00:01:51,505 --> 00:01:53,505
you kind of have to start
where it begins.
65
00:01:53,545 --> 00:01:54,505
you kind of have to start
where it begins.
66
00:01:54,545 --> 00:01:56,545
Today, I'm going to be looking
at my vagina,
67
00:01:56,585 --> 00:01:58,185
Today, I'm going to be looking
at my vagina,
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00:01:58,225 --> 00:02:00,225
and it's the first time
I've ever done it.
69
00:02:00,265 --> 00:02:01,265
and it's the first time
I've ever done it.
70
00:02:01,305 --> 00:02:03,305
I've since learned that calling
it a vagina
71
00:02:03,345 --> 00:02:03,625
I've since learned that calling
it a vagina
72
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,665
is a bit like calling your face
your throat,
73
00:02:05,705 --> 00:02:06,185
is a bit like calling your face
your throat,
74
00:02:06,225 --> 00:02:07,665
and the correct term is vulva.
75
00:02:07,705 --> 00:02:09,705
Either way, I've spent 26 years
expertly avoiding looking at it.
76
00:02:09,745 --> 00:02:11,745
Either way, I've spent 26 years
expertly avoiding looking at it.
77
00:02:11,785 --> 00:02:12,785
Either way, I've spent 26 years
expertly avoiding looking at it.
78
00:02:16,305 --> 00:02:17,905
To make sure I don't back out,
79
00:02:17,945 --> 00:02:19,345
I've come to West Sussex
80
00:02:19,385 --> 00:02:21,385
to join a class that helps people
like me
81
00:02:21,425 --> 00:02:21,905
to join a class that helps people
like me
82
00:02:21,945 --> 00:02:23,945
get acquainted with their lady
bits.
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00:02:23,985 --> 00:02:24,225
get acquainted with their lady
bits.
84
00:02:24,265 --> 00:02:26,265
Hello!Hi, Yewande.
85
00:02:26,305 --> 00:02:27,185
Hello!Hi, Yewande.
86
00:02:27,225 --> 00:02:29,225
It's run by Lacey Haynes, sex
and pleasure coach...Welcome!
87
00:02:29,265 --> 00:02:30,585
It's run by Lacey Haynes, sex
and pleasure coach...Welcome!
88
00:02:30,625 --> 00:02:32,625
..who believes that getting to know
your sexual anatomy
89
00:02:32,665 --> 00:02:33,225
..who believes that getting to know
your sexual anatomy
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00:02:33,265 --> 00:02:35,265
is the first step
to becoming orgasmic.
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00:02:35,305 --> 00:02:35,585
is the first step
to becoming orgasmic.
92
00:02:36,665 --> 00:02:38,665
Welcome to our pussy-gazing
workshop.
93
00:02:38,705 --> 00:02:39,785
Welcome to our pussy-gazing
workshop.
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00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,825
We are here to look between our legs
and connect with ourselves
95
00:02:41,865 --> 00:02:43,865
We are here to look between our legs
and connect with ourselves
96
00:02:43,905 --> 00:02:44,145
We are here to look between our legs
and connect with ourselves
97
00:02:44,185 --> 00:02:45,665
in a totally new way.
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00:02:46,865 --> 00:02:48,865
Most women who come to this class
feel sexually disconnected.
99
00:02:48,905 --> 00:02:50,425
Most women who come to this class
feel sexually disconnected.
100
00:02:50,465 --> 00:02:52,465
Others are seeking to reignite
their erotic fires.
101
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,785
Others are seeking to reignite
their erotic fires.
102
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:55,825
My name is Briony,
103
00:02:55,865 --> 00:02:56,065
My name is Briony,
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00:02:56,105 --> 00:02:58,105
and I'm connecting more deeply
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00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,665
and I'm connecting more deeply
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00:02:59,705 --> 00:03:00,665
to my body.
107
00:03:01,905 --> 00:03:03,185
Hi, my name is Yewande,
108
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,985
and I've actually never looked
109
00:03:05,025 --> 00:03:06,345
at my vagina before.
110
00:03:06,385 --> 00:03:08,025
VOICEOVER: Sorry, vulva.
111
00:03:08,065 --> 00:03:10,065
Don't get me wrong, I'm not
a virgin.
112
00:03:10,105 --> 00:03:10,385
Don't get me wrong, I'm not
a virgin.
113
00:03:10,425 --> 00:03:12,185
I have had a couple of partners.
114
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:13,625
Yes, I slept with them.
115
00:03:13,665 --> 00:03:15,265
No, it wasn't earth-shattering.
116
00:03:15,305 --> 00:03:17,305
And after all that, I still feel
deeply inhibited
117
00:03:17,345 --> 00:03:18,505
And after all that, I still feel
deeply inhibited
118
00:03:18,545 --> 00:03:20,545
by anything remotely sexual.
119
00:03:20,585 --> 00:03:21,025
by anything remotely sexual.
120
00:03:21,065 --> 00:03:23,065
Usually in these workshops, I find
that the majority of women
121
00:03:23,105 --> 00:03:24,185
Usually in these workshops, I find
that the majority of women
122
00:03:24,225 --> 00:03:26,225
have never looked beyond,
like, a cursory glance
123
00:03:26,265 --> 00:03:27,465
have never looked beyond,
like, a cursory glance
124
00:03:27,505 --> 00:03:29,505
at their yoni, vulva, vagina, pussy.
125
00:03:29,545 --> 00:03:30,185
at their yoni, vulva, vagina, pussy.
126
00:03:32,505 --> 00:03:34,505
All right, I think we
need a few big breaths.
127
00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:35,385
All right, I think we
need a few big breaths.
128
00:03:35,425 --> 00:03:37,425
ALL EXHALE
129
00:03:37,465 --> 00:03:37,905
ALL EXHALE
130
00:03:39,425 --> 00:03:40,865
Ahh.
131
00:03:41,985 --> 00:03:43,985
OK, so as you're stirring this
energy of this part of your body,
132
00:03:44,025 --> 00:03:45,825
OK, so as you're stirring this
energy of this part of your body,
133
00:03:45,865 --> 00:03:47,865
you're just, like, exploring
the outer parts of your body.
134
00:03:47,905 --> 00:03:48,865
you're just, like, exploring
the outer parts of your body.
135
00:03:48,905 --> 00:03:50,345
Ahh.
136
00:03:50,385 --> 00:03:52,305
You can feel
you have a pubic mound,
137
00:03:52,345 --> 00:03:54,265
your outer lips.
138
00:03:54,305 --> 00:03:55,745
Give your pussy a little squeeze.
139
00:03:55,785 --> 00:03:57,025
NERVOUS LAUGHTER
140
00:03:57,065 --> 00:03:58,025
Ahh.
141
00:03:59,345 --> 00:04:01,345
Why don't you unroll your mat?
142
00:04:01,385 --> 00:04:01,585
Why don't you unroll your mat?
143
00:04:01,625 --> 00:04:03,545
You're going to all...
144
00:04:03,585 --> 00:04:05,585
Let's all gather around,
and we're going to take a mirror.
145
00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:06,425
Let's all gather around,
and we're going to take a mirror.
146
00:04:06,465 --> 00:04:08,345
The prospect of looking down there
147
00:04:08,385 --> 00:04:10,385
in a room full of other
women is, quite frankly, mortifying.
148
00:04:10,425 --> 00:04:12,425
in a room full of other
women is, quite frankly, mortifying.
149
00:04:12,465 --> 00:04:13,025
in a room full of other
women is, quite frankly, mortifying.
150
00:04:16,665 --> 00:04:18,665
I feel like I don't know what I'm
doing.Yeah, that's great. OK.
151
00:04:18,705 --> 00:04:19,585
I feel like I don't know what I'm
doing.Yeah, that's great. OK.
152
00:04:19,625 --> 00:04:21,625
Yeah, perfect. Perfect, yes, good.
153
00:04:21,665 --> 00:04:22,545
Yeah, perfect. Perfect, yes, good.
154
00:04:22,585 --> 00:04:24,065
I mean, I'm not wearing any undies,
155
00:04:24,105 --> 00:04:26,065
so you can just see my pussy in
there.
156
00:04:26,105 --> 00:04:28,105
But if I'm to achieve a mind-blowing
transformation, then Lacey insists
157
00:04:28,145 --> 00:04:30,145
But if I'm to achieve a mind-blowing
transformation, then Lacey insists
158
00:04:30,185 --> 00:04:30,905
But if I'm to achieve a mind-blowing
transformation, then Lacey insists
159
00:04:30,945 --> 00:04:32,945
that any feelings of shame
and embarrassment around my pussy
160
00:04:32,985 --> 00:04:34,225
that any feelings of shame
and embarrassment around my pussy
161
00:04:34,265 --> 00:04:35,745
have to be put aside.
162
00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:40,625
Put the mirror between your legs.
163
00:04:40,665 --> 00:04:40,945
Put the mirror between your legs.
164
00:04:47,985 --> 00:04:49,985
If you can't see what's happening,
165
00:04:50,025 --> 00:04:50,265
If you can't see what's happening,
166
00:04:50,305 --> 00:04:52,305
open your legs and be really
curious.
167
00:04:52,345 --> 00:04:52,785
open your legs and be really
curious.
168
00:05:00,705 --> 00:05:02,705
Keep your eyes on the mirror.
169
00:05:02,745 --> 00:05:02,905
Keep your eyes on the mirror.
170
00:05:04,585 --> 00:05:06,585
Now, I'm the queen of burying my
head in the sand.
171
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:07,705
Now, I'm the queen of burying my
head in the sand.
172
00:05:07,745 --> 00:05:09,745
But even I don't know how I've spent
26 years avoiding this moment.
173
00:05:09,785 --> 00:05:11,785
But even I don't know how I've spent
26 years avoiding this moment.
174
00:05:11,825 --> 00:05:12,465
But even I don't know how I've spent
26 years avoiding this moment.
175
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,985
You're cracking up.
176
00:05:21,025 --> 00:05:21,225
You're cracking up.
177
00:05:21,265 --> 00:05:22,905
You've got a funny pussy?
178
00:05:22,945 --> 00:05:24,625
LAUGHTER
179
00:05:28,465 --> 00:05:30,465
My clit looked like...
a squashed lettuce.
180
00:05:30,505 --> 00:05:32,505
My clit looked like...
a squashed lettuce.
181
00:05:32,545 --> 00:05:32,905
My clit looked like...
a squashed lettuce.
182
00:05:32,945 --> 00:05:34,945
Does that make sense?
183
00:05:34,985 --> 00:05:35,225
Does that make sense?
184
00:05:35,265 --> 00:05:37,265
I just felt so uncomfortable looking
at it for more than a minute.
185
00:05:37,305 --> 00:05:39,305
I just felt so uncomfortable looking
at it for more than a minute.
186
00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:39,905
I just felt so uncomfortable looking
at it for more than a minute.
187
00:05:39,945 --> 00:05:41,945
I just wanted
to put the mirror down.
188
00:05:41,985 --> 00:05:42,585
I just wanted
to put the mirror down.
189
00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:44,625
I was trying to, like,
look at everyone else's without,
190
00:05:44,665 --> 00:05:45,945
I was trying to, like,
look at everyone else's without,
191
00:05:45,985 --> 00:05:47,305
like, being a creep!
192
00:05:47,345 --> 00:05:49,345
Because I just... I guess I just
wanted to know
193
00:05:49,385 --> 00:05:50,345
Because I just... I guess I just
wanted to know
194
00:05:50,385 --> 00:05:52,385
if there was an issue with mine.
195
00:05:52,425 --> 00:05:52,625
if there was an issue with mine.
196
00:05:52,665 --> 00:05:54,105
But it was interesting.
197
00:06:00,145 --> 00:06:02,145
I hate moving.
198
00:06:02,185 --> 00:06:02,505
I hate moving.
199
00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:05,625
But it's the first time
I am living by myself.
200
00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:06,905
But it's the first time
I am living by myself.
201
00:06:08,265 --> 00:06:10,265
All my friends, like, they make
a joke out of it
202
00:06:10,305 --> 00:06:10,585
All my friends, like, they make
a joke out of it
203
00:06:10,625 --> 00:06:12,625
and say that I'm so uptight because
I'm always, like, stressed
204
00:06:12,665 --> 00:06:14,665
and say that I'm so uptight because
I'm always, like, stressed
205
00:06:14,705 --> 00:06:14,985
and say that I'm so uptight because
I'm always, like, stressed
206
00:06:15,025 --> 00:06:16,545
and it's because I've never
had an orgasm.
207
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,585
I've thought about what it
would feel like.
208
00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:20,625
I've thought about what it
would feel like.
209
00:06:20,665 --> 00:06:20,865
I've thought about what it
would feel like.
210
00:06:22,345 --> 00:06:24,345
And what I've come up with is,
211
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:24,625
And what I've come up with is,
212
00:06:24,665 --> 00:06:26,665
you know when a horse is like
riding into the sunset?
213
00:06:26,705 --> 00:06:28,305
you know when a horse is like
riding into the sunset?
214
00:06:31,585 --> 00:06:33,585
And then all of a sudden
they feel this urge to, like,
215
00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:35,345
And then all of a sudden
they feel this urge to, like,
216
00:06:35,385 --> 00:06:36,665
go up on their legs
217
00:06:36,705 --> 00:06:38,705
and they let out this, like, huge,
like, roaring kind of sound.
218
00:06:38,745 --> 00:06:40,385
and they let out this, like, huge,
like, roaring kind of sound.
219
00:06:40,425 --> 00:06:42,425
HORSES NEIGH
220
00:06:42,465 --> 00:06:42,705
HORSES NEIGH
221
00:06:42,745 --> 00:06:44,745
And then they just seem so relieved
and liberated
222
00:06:44,785 --> 00:06:46,785
And then they just seem so relieved
and liberated
223
00:06:46,825 --> 00:06:47,185
And then they just seem so relieved
and liberated
224
00:06:47,225 --> 00:06:49,225
and they just, like,
go off riding into the sunset.
225
00:06:49,265 --> 00:06:50,905
and they just, like,
go off riding into the sunset.
226
00:06:57,425 --> 00:06:58,665
Hold your horses,
227
00:06:58,705 --> 00:07:00,705
serious scientist's head on now.
228
00:07:00,745 --> 00:07:00,945
serious scientist's head on now.
229
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,185
I've never had an orgasm.
230
00:07:02,225 --> 00:07:04,225
Does that mean that there
could be something
231
00:07:04,265 --> 00:07:04,665
Does that mean that there
could be something
232
00:07:04,705 --> 00:07:06,145
physically wrong with me?
233
00:07:08,625 --> 00:07:10,305
Hi. Come in.
234
00:07:10,345 --> 00:07:12,345
As someone who's spent years looking
through a microscope, it's my turn
235
00:07:12,385 --> 00:07:13,945
As someone who's spent years looking
through a microscope, it's my turn
236
00:07:13,985 --> 00:07:15,985
to be put under examination.
237
00:07:16,025 --> 00:07:16,465
to be put under examination.
238
00:07:16,505 --> 00:07:18,505
Feel like I'm about to have surgery
or something.
239
00:07:18,545 --> 00:07:18,785
Feel like I'm about to have surgery
or something.
240
00:07:18,825 --> 00:07:20,225
Don't worry. You're not.
241
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,265
I'm meeting consultant gynaecologist
242
00:07:22,305 --> 00:07:22,785
I'm meeting consultant gynaecologist
243
00:07:22,825 --> 00:07:24,825
and doctor in psychosexual medicine
Claire Bailey
244
00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:26,465
and doctor in psychosexual medicine
Claire Bailey
245
00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:28,065
for my first ever check-up.
246
00:07:28,105 --> 00:07:30,105
All I'm going to do is just
very gently put a finger
247
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:31,505
All I'm going to do is just
very gently put a finger
248
00:07:31,545 --> 00:07:33,545
at the entrance of the
vagina. Is that all right?
249
00:07:33,585 --> 00:07:34,865
at the entrance of the
vagina. Is that all right?
250
00:07:34,905 --> 00:07:36,505
YEWANDE LAUGHS
251
00:07:36,545 --> 00:07:37,505
Yeah!
252
00:07:38,865 --> 00:07:40,705
I'm so sorry!
253
00:07:42,665 --> 00:07:44,665
Just touching there. How's that?
254
00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:44,985
Just touching there. How's that?
255
00:07:45,025 --> 00:07:47,025
Fine, it feels like there's a...
256
00:07:47,065 --> 00:07:47,305
Fine, it feels like there's a...
257
00:07:47,345 --> 00:07:48,905
I guess I can feel it.
258
00:07:48,945 --> 00:07:50,105
No pain?
259
00:07:50,145 --> 00:07:52,145
No, it just feels like there's
something there.
260
00:07:52,185 --> 00:07:52,665
No, it just feels like there's
something there.
261
00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:54,705
All right... Ooh.Now, what happened
there?
262
00:07:54,745 --> 00:07:55,425
All right... Ooh.Now, what happened
there?
263
00:07:55,465 --> 00:07:57,465
I think I didn't relax.OK.
264
00:07:57,505 --> 00:07:57,865
I think I didn't relax.OK.
265
00:07:57,905 --> 00:07:59,905
But that's OK there?
266
00:07:59,945 --> 00:08:00,265
But that's OK there?
267
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,305
Er, a little painful.
268
00:08:02,345 --> 00:08:03,025
Er, a little painful.
269
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,785
And sex is never painful?
270
00:08:05,865 --> 00:08:06,825
No.
271
00:08:08,745 --> 00:08:10,745
If I give you a couple of minutes,
272
00:08:10,785 --> 00:08:11,225
If I give you a couple of minutes,
273
00:08:11,265 --> 00:08:13,265
get changed
and then we'll have a chat.
274
00:08:13,305 --> 00:08:14,905
get changed
and then we'll have a chat.
275
00:08:14,945 --> 00:08:16,945
All right? When doctors say that,
it actually terrifies me!
276
00:08:16,985 --> 00:08:18,585
All right? When doctors say that,
it actually terrifies me!
277
00:08:21,785 --> 00:08:23,065
Oh, so much notes.
278
00:08:23,105 --> 00:08:24,665
THEY LAUGH
279
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,705
So everything looks really normal.
280
00:08:26,745 --> 00:08:26,985
So everything looks really normal.
281
00:08:27,025 --> 00:08:29,025
The anatomy of the vulva
is entirely normal.
282
00:08:29,065 --> 00:08:30,585
The anatomy of the vulva
is entirely normal.
283
00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:32,625
You can feel things normally.
284
00:08:32,665 --> 00:08:32,825
You can feel things normally.
285
00:08:34,025 --> 00:08:36,025
Have you ever managed
to have an orgasm?
286
00:08:36,065 --> 00:08:36,625
Have you ever managed
to have an orgasm?
287
00:08:36,665 --> 00:08:37,905
No.
288
00:08:37,945 --> 00:08:39,945
And have you managed to have what
you would call normal sex?
289
00:08:39,985 --> 00:08:41,985
And have you managed to have what
you would call normal sex?
290
00:08:42,025 --> 00:08:42,705
And have you managed to have what
you would call normal sex?
291
00:08:42,745 --> 00:08:44,345
I would like to think so.Yes?
292
00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:46,385
It's not uncommon for women not
to manage to orgasm during sex.
293
00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:48,425
It's not uncommon for women not
to manage to orgasm during sex.
294
00:08:48,465 --> 00:08:48,905
It's not uncommon for women not
to manage to orgasm during sex.
295
00:08:50,105 --> 00:08:52,105
It's less common for women to not
be able to achieve an orgasm
296
00:08:52,145 --> 00:08:54,145
It's less common for women to not
be able to achieve an orgasm
297
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,105
It's less common for women to not
be able to achieve an orgasm
298
00:08:55,145 --> 00:08:57,145
if they've tried to masturbate
themselves.
299
00:08:57,185 --> 00:08:58,545
if they've tried to masturbate
themselves.
300
00:08:58,585 --> 00:09:00,345
Have you ever tried?
301
00:09:00,385 --> 00:09:01,385
No.
302
00:09:01,425 --> 00:09:03,425
Has anything stopped you trying?
303
00:09:03,465 --> 00:09:04,545
Has anything stopped you trying?
304
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,585
I grew up in Ireland, which is
obviously a Catholic country.
305
00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:07,745
I grew up in Ireland, which is
obviously a Catholic country.
306
00:09:07,785 --> 00:09:09,785
My parents are Catholic
and Christian.
307
00:09:09,825 --> 00:09:11,505
My parents are Catholic
and Christian.
308
00:09:11,545 --> 00:09:13,545
Sex was never really spoken about in
my house
309
00:09:13,585 --> 00:09:14,505
Sex was never really spoken about in
my house
310
00:09:14,545 --> 00:09:16,545
and masturbation
was, like, the biggest sin
311
00:09:16,585 --> 00:09:17,105
and masturbation
was, like, the biggest sin
312
00:09:17,145 --> 00:09:18,945
and they would literally
tell you that.
313
00:09:18,985 --> 00:09:20,985
Um, because of that, I thought
it was an unnatural thing to do.
314
00:09:21,025 --> 00:09:23,025
Um, because of that, I thought
it was an unnatural thing to do.
315
00:09:23,065 --> 00:09:23,345
Um, because of that, I thought
it was an unnatural thing to do.
316
00:09:23,385 --> 00:09:25,385
And because of that,
I just never tried it.
317
00:09:25,425 --> 00:09:26,625
And because of that,
I just never tried it.
318
00:09:26,665 --> 00:09:28,665
Moving forward, we can give
a diagnosis of anorgasmia,
319
00:09:28,705 --> 00:09:30,705
Moving forward, we can give
a diagnosis of anorgasmia,
320
00:09:30,745 --> 00:09:31,905
Moving forward, we can give
a diagnosis of anorgasmia,
321
00:09:31,945 --> 00:09:33,865
which means...
Is that actually a real...?
322
00:09:33,905 --> 00:09:35,905
..which means
you're not achieving orgasms.
323
00:09:35,945 --> 00:09:36,225
..which means
you're not achieving orgasms.
324
00:09:36,265 --> 00:09:38,265
But I'm not sure that that's
necessarily fair,
325
00:09:38,305 --> 00:09:40,305
But I'm not sure that that's
necessarily fair,
326
00:09:40,345 --> 00:09:40,625
But I'm not sure that that's
necessarily fair,
327
00:09:40,665 --> 00:09:42,665
because you may
well be able to orgasm very normally
328
00:09:42,705 --> 00:09:44,625
because you may
well be able to orgasm very normally
329
00:09:44,665 --> 00:09:46,665
and we just perhaps haven't tried.
330
00:09:46,705 --> 00:09:48,505
and we just perhaps haven't tried.
331
00:09:48,545 --> 00:09:50,545
So the question is whether you can
go away and have a try
332
00:09:50,585 --> 00:09:52,585
So the question is whether you can
go away and have a try
333
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,625
So the question is whether you can
go away and have a try
334
00:09:54,665 --> 00:09:55,745
So the question is whether you can
go away and have a try
335
00:09:55,785 --> 00:09:57,545
at touching yourself.
336
00:10:02,145 --> 00:10:04,145
She gave me homework.
Haven't done homework in...years.
337
00:10:04,185 --> 00:10:06,185
She gave me homework.
Haven't done homework in...years.
338
00:10:06,225 --> 00:10:06,705
She gave me homework.
Haven't done homework in...years.
339
00:10:06,745 --> 00:10:08,745
My homework was to go home
and touch myself.
340
00:10:08,785 --> 00:10:09,265
My homework was to go home
and touch myself.
341
00:10:10,385 --> 00:10:12,385
Yay, I guess?
342
00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:12,665
Yay, I guess?
343
00:10:12,705 --> 00:10:14,705
I think I'm supposed to be excited,
but I am going to try.
344
00:10:14,745 --> 00:10:16,505
I think I'm supposed to be excited,
but I am going to try.
345
00:10:16,545 --> 00:10:18,305
I really am going to try.
346
00:10:20,025 --> 00:10:22,025
I spent five years studying
biological sciences,
347
00:10:22,065 --> 00:10:22,745
I spent five years studying
biological sciences,
348
00:10:22,785 --> 00:10:24,785
but I've just learned a new word.
349
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:25,705
but I've just learned a new word.
350
00:10:25,745 --> 00:10:27,745
It's believed that anorgasmia
affects 10-15% of women.
351
00:10:27,785 --> 00:10:29,785
It's believed that anorgasmia
affects 10-15% of women.
352
00:10:29,825 --> 00:10:30,105
It's believed that anorgasmia
affects 10-15% of women.
353
00:10:30,145 --> 00:10:32,145
To find out if I really fall
into that camp,
354
00:10:32,185 --> 00:10:32,505
To find out if I really fall
into that camp,
355
00:10:32,545 --> 00:10:34,465
I should get on with my homework.
356
00:10:34,505 --> 00:10:36,505
Trouble is, I genuinely
don't know where to start.
357
00:10:36,545 --> 00:10:37,545
Trouble is, I genuinely
don't know where to start.
358
00:10:39,185 --> 00:10:41,185
I think the easiest thing
to type in is,
359
00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:42,385
I think the easiest thing
to type in is,
360
00:10:42,425 --> 00:10:43,945
"How to..." Oh, my God.
361
00:10:43,985 --> 00:10:45,985
"A dummy's guide to masturbation."
362
00:10:46,025 --> 00:10:46,225
"A dummy's guide to masturbation."
363
00:10:47,945 --> 00:10:49,945
"Beginner's female masturbation",
364
00:10:49,985 --> 00:10:50,465
"Beginner's female masturbation",
365
00:10:50,505 --> 00:10:52,505
"Tips for people with vaginas."
366
00:10:52,545 --> 00:10:52,745
"Tips for people with vaginas."
367
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,425
That's me.
368
00:10:54,465 --> 00:10:56,465
The female orgasm has often baffled
scientists,
369
00:10:56,505 --> 00:10:57,625
The female orgasm has often baffled
scientists,
370
00:10:57,665 --> 00:10:59,665
so I'm excited I found a site that
appeals to my inner nerd,
371
00:10:59,705 --> 00:11:01,665
so I'm excited I found a site that
appeals to my inner nerd,
372
00:11:01,705 --> 00:11:03,705
with a research-based approach
to female sexual pleasure.
373
00:11:03,745 --> 00:11:05,585
with a research-based approach
to female sexual pleasure.
374
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:07,625
This is a website called OMGYES.
375
00:11:07,665 --> 00:11:09,665
This is a website called OMGYES.
376
00:11:09,705 --> 00:11:09,905
This is a website called OMGYES.
377
00:11:09,945 --> 00:11:11,465
Working with 20,000 women,
378
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:13,505
they've identified 12 masturbating
techniques
379
00:11:13,545 --> 00:11:14,025
they've identified 12 masturbating
techniques
380
00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:16,065
and have literally
updated the English language
381
00:11:16,105 --> 00:11:16,585
and have literally
updated the English language
382
00:11:16,625 --> 00:11:18,345
by giving them names.
383
00:11:18,385 --> 00:11:20,385
Framing, signalling, consistency,
384
00:11:20,425 --> 00:11:22,225
Framing, signalling, consistency,
385
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,265
shallowing, pairing, rocking,
386
00:11:24,305 --> 00:11:24,625
shallowing, pairing, rocking,
387
00:11:24,665 --> 00:11:25,905
God fucking knows.
388
00:11:25,945 --> 00:11:27,945
To help demystify female pleasure
further, they've even got videos
389
00:11:27,985 --> 00:11:29,985
To help demystify female pleasure
further, they've even got videos
390
00:11:30,025 --> 00:11:30,305
To help demystify female pleasure
further, they've even got videos
391
00:11:30,345 --> 00:11:32,345
of real women demonstrating
the ins and outs of it all.
392
00:11:32,385 --> 00:11:33,305
of real women demonstrating
the ins and outs of it all.
393
00:11:33,345 --> 00:11:35,345
"She demonstrates
the clit sandwich."
394
00:11:35,385 --> 00:11:35,865
"She demonstrates
the clit sandwich."
395
00:11:38,025 --> 00:11:40,025
The place on my clit where
I like to be touched the most
396
00:11:40,065 --> 00:11:40,305
The place on my clit where
I like to be touched the most
397
00:11:40,345 --> 00:11:41,985
is on the right outer corner.
398
00:11:42,025 --> 00:11:43,705
Oh, my God.
399
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,505
Why is she naked?
400
00:11:45,545 --> 00:11:47,545
What the hell is she...?
401
00:11:47,585 --> 00:11:47,785
What the hell is she...?
402
00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:50,345
I did not expect that.
403
00:11:50,385 --> 00:11:52,385
What can kind of even amp
this up more is, like,
404
00:11:52,425 --> 00:11:54,025
What can kind of even amp
this up more is, like,
405
00:11:54,065 --> 00:11:56,065
putting more pressure by putting my
other hand there,
406
00:11:56,105 --> 00:11:56,585
putting more pressure by putting my
other hand there,
407
00:11:56,625 --> 00:11:58,265
so it's, like, really...
408
00:11:58,305 --> 00:12:00,305
I feel like I shouldn't be watching
this...deep pressure.
409
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:00,985
I feel like I shouldn't be watching
this...deep pressure.
410
00:12:01,025 --> 00:12:03,025
So out of all the techniques
that I watched,
411
00:12:03,065 --> 00:12:05,025
So out of all the techniques
that I watched,
412
00:12:05,065 --> 00:12:07,065
I am going to be trying orbiting,
which is like the figure eight
413
00:12:07,105 --> 00:12:09,105
I am going to be trying orbiting,
which is like the figure eight
414
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:09,385
I am going to be trying orbiting,
which is like the figure eight
415
00:12:09,425 --> 00:12:11,225
when you kind of go this way.
416
00:12:12,345 --> 00:12:14,345
So I'm going to try that,
see how I get on.
417
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:16,145
So I'm going to try that,
see how I get on.
418
00:12:20,145 --> 00:12:21,105
OK.
419
00:12:27,905 --> 00:12:29,625
It just feels tingly.
420
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,665
Why does it feel tingly?
421
00:12:31,705 --> 00:12:32,065
Why does it feel tingly?
422
00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:34,105
Am I doing it right? Am I?
423
00:12:34,145 --> 00:12:34,345
Am I doing it right? Am I?
424
00:12:34,385 --> 00:12:35,585
Maybe I'm not.
425
00:12:41,785 --> 00:12:43,305
That felt...
426
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:44,825
..like nothing.
427
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,865
It felt like rubbing, like,
dry meat.
428
00:12:46,905 --> 00:12:47,425
It felt like rubbing, like,
dry meat.
429
00:12:54,225 --> 00:12:55,185
Oh!
430
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:04,695
Hi, guys.
431
00:13:04,735 --> 00:13:06,535
I've never had an orgasm,
432
00:13:06,575 --> 00:13:08,575
but I want to know -
am I the only one?
433
00:13:08,615 --> 00:13:09,015
but I want to know -
am I the only one?
434
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,055
Message me, I literally want
to speak to some people.
435
00:13:11,095 --> 00:13:11,775
Message me, I literally want
to speak to some people.
436
00:13:11,815 --> 00:13:13,695
It's done.
437
00:13:13,735 --> 00:13:15,055
I hate watching it back.
438
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,095
It's like, ugh!
439
00:13:17,135 --> 00:13:17,775
It's like, ugh!
440
00:13:17,815 --> 00:13:19,815
I'm actually
really nervous about putting it out,
441
00:13:19,855 --> 00:13:20,295
I'm actually
really nervous about putting it out,
442
00:13:20,335 --> 00:13:22,335
because I don't think I've ever
talked about sex ever
443
00:13:22,375 --> 00:13:24,055
because I don't think I've ever
talked about sex ever
444
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,855
on my Instagram.
445
00:13:25,895 --> 00:13:27,855
Oh, my God, yeah, my mum follows
me.
446
00:13:27,895 --> 00:13:29,895
I think I'm probably going
to have to mute her.
447
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,935
Sex chat with Mum is awkward
for most, but when I was 15,
448
00:13:31,975 --> 00:13:33,975
Sex chat with Mum is awkward
for most, but when I was 15,
449
00:13:34,015 --> 00:13:34,855
Sex chat with Mum is awkward
for most, but when I was 15,
450
00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:36,535
my mum grounded me for a whole year
451
00:13:36,575 --> 00:13:38,575
because she wrongly believed
I was sexually active.
452
00:13:38,615 --> 00:13:39,575
because she wrongly believed
I was sexually active.
453
00:13:42,695 --> 00:13:44,695
Having got the word out
about my little secret,
454
00:13:44,735 --> 00:13:45,415
Having got the word out
about my little secret,
455
00:13:45,455 --> 00:13:47,455
it doesn't take long for
the messages to start pouring in.
456
00:13:47,495 --> 00:13:48,095
it doesn't take long for
the messages to start pouring in.
457
00:13:50,375 --> 00:13:52,375
Oh, my God, so many people.
458
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,295
Oh, my God, so many people.
459
00:13:53,335 --> 00:13:55,335
Everyone's saying, "Yeah, you're not
alone. You're not alone.
460
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:56,735
Everyone's saying, "Yeah, you're not
alone. You're not alone.
461
00:13:56,775 --> 00:13:58,535
"OH, MY GOD, I FEEL SO SEEN"
in caps.
462
00:13:59,615 --> 00:14:00,975
I honestly didn't know
463
00:14:01,015 --> 00:14:03,015
that there was going to be this many
people, and I feel relieved.
464
00:14:03,055 --> 00:14:05,055
that there was going to be this many
people, and I feel relieved.
465
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:05,295
that there was going to be this many
people, and I feel relieved.
466
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,055
I'm surprised by the number of women
who sent messages of support,
467
00:14:10,095 --> 00:14:11,415
I'm surprised by the number of women
who sent messages of support,
468
00:14:11,455 --> 00:14:13,455
but more surprised at the sheer
number of women
469
00:14:13,495 --> 00:14:13,855
but more surprised at the sheer
number of women
470
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:15,455
who are in the same boat as me.
471
00:14:15,495 --> 00:14:17,495
And one of them has even
agreed to meet up.
472
00:14:17,535 --> 00:14:18,495
And one of them has even
agreed to meet up.
473
00:14:19,855 --> 00:14:21,215
You obviously are here
474
00:14:21,255 --> 00:14:23,255
because you've seen my story
that I've put up.
475
00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:23,895
because you've seen my story
that I've put up.
476
00:14:23,935 --> 00:14:25,935
This is 25-year-old Sarah,
the first person I've ever met
477
00:14:25,975 --> 00:14:27,775
This is 25-year-old Sarah,
the first person I've ever met
478
00:14:27,815 --> 00:14:29,815
who admits they can't orgasm.
479
00:14:29,855 --> 00:14:30,015
who admits they can't orgasm.
480
00:14:31,375 --> 00:14:33,375
So I'm 26 now.
481
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,415
It wasn't until I was, like, 21...
482
00:14:35,455 --> 00:14:36,295
It wasn't until I was, like, 21...
483
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,335
Yeah. ..that I realised that, like,
women could actually orgasm.
484
00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:40,375
Yeah. ..that I realised that, like,
women could actually orgasm.
485
00:14:40,415 --> 00:14:40,775
Yeah. ..that I realised that, like,
women could actually orgasm.
486
00:14:40,815 --> 00:14:42,415
Oh, my God.
487
00:14:42,455 --> 00:14:44,015
Were you the same?
488
00:14:44,055 --> 00:14:45,215
No!
489
00:14:45,255 --> 00:14:46,215
THEY LAUGH
490
00:14:47,295 --> 00:14:49,295
I don't know, I think I thought
491
00:14:49,335 --> 00:14:49,575
I don't know, I think I thought
492
00:14:49,615 --> 00:14:51,615
that it was something that you kind
of had to learn to do yourself,
493
00:14:51,655 --> 00:14:53,655
that it was something that you kind
of had to learn to do yourself,
494
00:14:53,695 --> 00:14:53,975
that it was something that you kind
of had to learn to do yourself,
495
00:14:54,015 --> 00:14:56,015
and I think that's kind
of the case now.
496
00:14:56,055 --> 00:14:56,815
and I think that's kind
of the case now.
497
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,855
Like, so when you say you've never
orgasmed,
498
00:14:58,895 --> 00:14:59,175
Like, so when you say you've never
orgasmed,
499
00:14:59,215 --> 00:15:01,215
do you mean ever
or with a partner?Ever.
500
00:15:01,255 --> 00:15:02,175
do you mean ever
or with a partner?Ever.
501
00:15:02,215 --> 00:15:04,215
So have you tried?Kind of,
but not really.
502
00:15:04,255 --> 00:15:05,015
So have you tried?Kind of,
but not really.
503
00:15:05,055 --> 00:15:07,055
Myself, no, not really.
504
00:15:07,095 --> 00:15:07,295
Myself, no, not really.
505
00:15:07,335 --> 00:15:08,695
Why haven't you tried, though?
506
00:15:08,735 --> 00:15:10,135
I just don't get the urge to.
507
00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:12,175
I like intimacy,
like, I like connections.
508
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:12,895
I like intimacy,
like, I like connections.
509
00:15:12,935 --> 00:15:14,375
I'm a very sexual person,
510
00:15:14,415 --> 00:15:16,415
so I personally think I've always
been sexually satisfied.
511
00:15:16,455 --> 00:15:17,455
so I personally think I've always
been sexually satisfied.
512
00:15:17,495 --> 00:15:19,415
And now that I'm in a long-term
relationship
513
00:15:19,455 --> 00:15:21,455
and it still hasn't happened,
I kind of came to the conclusion -
514
00:15:21,495 --> 00:15:22,175
and it still hasn't happened,
I kind of came to the conclusion -
515
00:15:22,215 --> 00:15:23,455
oh, it's just not happening.
516
00:15:23,495 --> 00:15:25,495
Are you happy to just go
through the rest of your life
517
00:15:25,535 --> 00:15:25,855
Are you happy to just go
through the rest of your life
518
00:15:25,895 --> 00:15:27,895
and just never explore that route?
Yeah.
519
00:15:27,935 --> 00:15:29,735
and just never explore that route?
Yeah.
520
00:15:29,775 --> 00:15:31,775
Really?Yeah, I actually am.
521
00:15:31,815 --> 00:15:32,055
Really?Yeah, I actually am.
522
00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:34,095
What if you never orgasm?
I don't know.
523
00:15:34,135 --> 00:15:34,375
What if you never orgasm?
I don't know.
524
00:15:34,415 --> 00:15:36,415
Like, I'd be fine.
525
00:15:36,455 --> 00:15:36,975
Like, I'd be fine.
526
00:15:37,015 --> 00:15:38,735
Really? I feel like you say that
now
527
00:15:38,775 --> 00:15:40,735
because you don't know what it's
like.
528
00:15:40,775 --> 00:15:42,775
I feel like it's easy...When you
don't know what you're missing.
529
00:15:42,815 --> 00:15:43,895
I feel like it's easy...When you
don't know what you're missing.
530
00:15:43,935 --> 00:15:45,535
Yeah, exactly.
531
00:15:46,615 --> 00:15:48,615
Unlike Sarah, I'm really curious
to know what's so earth-shattering.
532
00:15:48,655 --> 00:15:50,655
Unlike Sarah, I'm really curious
to know what's so earth-shattering.
533
00:15:50,695 --> 00:15:50,975
Unlike Sarah, I'm really curious
to know what's so earth-shattering.
534
00:15:51,015 --> 00:15:53,015
More than 50% of the female
population admits to using sex toys.
535
00:15:53,055 --> 00:15:55,055
More than 50% of the female
population admits to using sex toys.
536
00:15:55,095 --> 00:15:55,455
More than 50% of the female
population admits to using sex toys.
537
00:15:55,495 --> 00:15:57,495
So maybe that's the secret.
538
00:15:57,535 --> 00:15:58,175
So maybe that's the secret.
539
00:15:58,215 --> 00:16:00,215
Do you know if you like butt stuff?
540
00:16:00,255 --> 00:16:00,495
Do you know if you like butt stuff?
541
00:16:00,535 --> 00:16:02,535
Here to help me find the right vibe
is Reed Amber,
542
00:16:02,575 --> 00:16:03,615
Here to help me find the right vibe
is Reed Amber,
543
00:16:03,655 --> 00:16:05,655
empowering sex educator, podcast
host, and more importantly,
544
00:16:05,695 --> 00:16:07,695
empowering sex educator, podcast
host, and more importantly,
545
00:16:07,735 --> 00:16:08,655
empowering sex educator, podcast
host, and more importantly,
546
00:16:08,695 --> 00:16:10,695
someone who can guide me
down the rabbit hole.
547
00:16:10,735 --> 00:16:10,975
someone who can guide me
down the rabbit hole.
548
00:16:11,015 --> 00:16:12,015
They all look so scary.
549
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,055
Do they look scary to you?No.
550
00:16:14,095 --> 00:16:14,535
Do they look scary to you?No.
551
00:16:14,575 --> 00:16:16,575
That might just be the way
that my brain is wired.
552
00:16:16,615 --> 00:16:16,895
That might just be the way
that my brain is wired.
553
00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:18,935
Yours will be wired
in a different way. Yeah.
554
00:16:18,975 --> 00:16:19,255
Yours will be wired
in a different way. Yeah.
555
00:16:19,295 --> 00:16:21,295
Do you know if you prefer external
stimulation or internal stimulation?
556
00:16:21,335 --> 00:16:23,335
Do you know if you prefer external
stimulation or internal stimulation?
557
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:24,295
Do you know if you prefer external
stimulation or internal stimulation?
558
00:16:24,335 --> 00:16:26,335
Or are you not so sure? I'm not
so sure, but I know for a fact
559
00:16:26,375 --> 00:16:27,815
Or are you not so sure? I'm not
so sure, but I know for a fact
560
00:16:27,855 --> 00:16:29,855
that I probably wouldn't be sticking
that up myself.
561
00:16:29,895 --> 00:16:30,295
that I probably wouldn't be sticking
that up myself.
562
00:16:30,335 --> 00:16:32,335
Yeah, it's actually quite big.
I've found better.
563
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:32,615
Yeah, it's actually quite big.
I've found better.
564
00:16:32,655 --> 00:16:34,655
Yeah.All right, amazing.
565
00:16:34,695 --> 00:16:35,415
Yeah.All right, amazing.
566
00:16:35,455 --> 00:16:37,455
Oh, my God,
like, they're try before you buy.
567
00:16:37,495 --> 00:16:38,855
Oh, my God,
like, they're try before you buy.
568
00:16:38,895 --> 00:16:40,415
I love this. Yeah.
569
00:16:40,455 --> 00:16:42,455
So instead of what we get
as a normal vibration,
570
00:16:42,495 --> 00:16:43,215
So instead of what we get
as a normal vibration,
571
00:16:43,255 --> 00:16:45,055
this is kind of like a suction.
572
00:16:45,095 --> 00:16:47,095
For me, it is a lot.
573
00:16:47,135 --> 00:16:47,415
For me, it is a lot.
574
00:16:47,455 --> 00:16:49,215
It's a bit much.
575
00:16:49,255 --> 00:16:51,255
It's a lot. I mean, amazing orgasms,
but very intense.
576
00:16:51,295 --> 00:16:52,815
It's a lot. I mean, amazing orgasms,
but very intense.
577
00:16:53,935 --> 00:16:55,935
I would highly recommend trying one
of these or getting one today.
578
00:16:55,975 --> 00:16:57,695
I would highly recommend trying one
of these or getting one today.
579
00:16:57,735 --> 00:16:59,495
OK, can we go for this one, then?
580
00:16:59,535 --> 00:17:01,535
Yeah. OK, we've come to my
favourite place here. OK.
581
00:17:01,575 --> 00:17:03,415
Yeah. OK, we've come to my
favourite place here. OK.
582
00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:04,455
The wands.
583
00:17:04,495 --> 00:17:06,055
Why are they so big?
584
00:17:06,095 --> 00:17:07,575
Like, where do you put this?
585
00:17:07,615 --> 00:17:09,615
Mine goes right underneath my bed
at arm's reach,
586
00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:10,855
Mine goes right underneath my bed
at arm's reach,
587
00:17:10,895 --> 00:17:12,895
so I can just,
"Oh, yeah, cool, yeah. Buzz!"
588
00:17:12,935 --> 00:17:14,215
so I can just,
"Oh, yeah, cool, yeah. Buzz!"
589
00:17:14,255 --> 00:17:16,255
It's just so impractical,
do you not think, like?
590
00:17:16,295 --> 00:17:16,575
It's just so impractical,
do you not think, like?
591
00:17:16,615 --> 00:17:18,615
You should make
space for your pleasure.
592
00:17:18,655 --> 00:17:19,255
You should make
space for your pleasure.
593
00:17:19,295 --> 00:17:20,655
It's like the size of an arm.
594
00:17:20,695 --> 00:17:21,775
With masturbating,
595
00:17:21,815 --> 00:17:23,535
it's about just listening
to your body
596
00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:25,575
and seeing what feels good for you.
597
00:17:25,615 --> 00:17:27,615
It's so complicated.It can be,
598
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:27,895
It's so complicated.It can be,
599
00:17:27,935 --> 00:17:29,935
which is why it's all about
exploring it for yourself.
600
00:17:29,975 --> 00:17:30,215
which is why it's all about
exploring it for yourself.
601
00:17:30,255 --> 00:17:31,375
As much as I can tell you,
602
00:17:31,415 --> 00:17:33,415
you're the only person that's
going to be able to figure it out,
603
00:17:33,455 --> 00:17:35,135
you're the only person that's
going to be able to figure it out,
604
00:17:35,175 --> 00:17:37,175
even though we can try and give
you good techniques in the process.
605
00:17:37,215 --> 00:17:38,415
even though we can try and give
you good techniques in the process.
606
00:17:38,455 --> 00:17:39,735
Yeah. There we go.
607
00:17:41,095 --> 00:17:42,855
Is that a good choice?Yes.
608
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:43,895
Will I regret it?
609
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:47,255
I'm shocked that I got so many.
610
00:17:47,295 --> 00:17:48,415
Thank you!
611
00:17:48,455 --> 00:17:50,455
I feel like it was a real
accomplishment for me.
612
00:17:50,495 --> 00:17:52,495
I feel like it was a real
accomplishment for me.
613
00:17:52,535 --> 00:17:52,775
I feel like it was a real
accomplishment for me.
614
00:17:52,815 --> 00:17:53,615
Look at me!
615
00:17:56,735 --> 00:17:58,735
Time to get back in the saddle.
616
00:17:58,775 --> 00:17:58,935
Time to get back in the saddle.
617
00:18:00,335 --> 00:18:02,335
# Look in the mirror, girl,
you got it
618
00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:02,615
# Look in the mirror, girl,
you got it
619
00:18:02,655 --> 00:18:04,495
# You got it, girl
620
00:18:04,535 --> 00:18:05,575
# You got it
621
00:18:05,615 --> 00:18:07,615
# Save me a table for one... #
622
00:18:07,655 --> 00:18:07,855
# Save me a table for one... #
623
00:18:07,895 --> 00:18:08,775
OK.
624
00:18:08,815 --> 00:18:10,815
# It's after midnight,
but the night is still young... #
625
00:18:10,855 --> 00:18:12,335
# It's after midnight,
but the night is still young... #
626
00:18:13,575 --> 00:18:15,575
I'm gonna try these two
bad boys here.
627
00:18:15,615 --> 00:18:16,215
I'm gonna try these two
bad boys here.
628
00:18:18,175 --> 00:18:19,935
And we've got some lube.
629
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:21,375
Bye.
630
00:18:21,415 --> 00:18:23,415
# Don't need nobody else,
I'mma still have fun... #
631
00:18:23,455 --> 00:18:24,095
# Don't need nobody else,
I'mma still have fun... #
632
00:18:25,735 --> 00:18:27,735
Yeah. Like that happened.
633
00:18:27,775 --> 00:18:27,935
Yeah. Like that happened.
634
00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:32,255
The reality is, I spent
two weeks ignoring them.
635
00:18:32,295 --> 00:18:33,575
The reality is, I spent
two weeks ignoring them.
636
00:18:42,215 --> 00:18:44,215
Then I rang Reed for a pep talk.
"I'm going to do this.
637
00:18:44,255 --> 00:18:45,095
Then I rang Reed for a pep talk.
"I'm going to do this.
638
00:18:45,135 --> 00:18:47,135
"I'm going to enjoy myself
and I don't have to orgasm."
639
00:18:47,175 --> 00:18:48,775
"I'm going to enjoy myself
and I don't have to orgasm."
640
00:18:48,815 --> 00:18:50,815
And then that will help
unlock everything.
641
00:18:50,855 --> 00:18:52,375
And then that will help
unlock everything.
642
00:18:52,415 --> 00:18:54,415
Take that pressure off yourself.
643
00:18:54,455 --> 00:18:55,095
Take that pressure off yourself.
644
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,775
OK. Thank you.
645
00:18:56,815 --> 00:18:58,815
And I finally gave them a go.
646
00:18:58,855 --> 00:18:59,615
And I finally gave them a go.
647
00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:01,175
All right, here we go.
648
00:19:02,255 --> 00:19:03,935
I went in with the wand.
649
00:19:07,575 --> 00:19:09,575
My clit is literally going
to fall off.
650
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:10,295
My clit is literally going
to fall off.
651
00:19:13,535 --> 00:19:14,735
It was too much for me.
652
00:19:14,775 --> 00:19:16,775
It was way too much for me.
653
00:19:16,815 --> 00:19:18,815
It was way too much for me.
654
00:19:18,855 --> 00:19:19,295
It was way too much for me.
655
00:19:19,335 --> 00:19:21,335
It hurt. Like, I remember being
like, "Ooh!"
656
00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:22,375
It hurt. Like, I remember being
like, "Ooh!"
657
00:19:22,415 --> 00:19:24,415
Like, that actually physically hurt.
658
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:24,895
Like, that actually physically hurt.
659
00:19:26,535 --> 00:19:28,535
And then I thought,
maybe I'm broken.
660
00:19:28,575 --> 00:19:29,095
And then I thought,
maybe I'm broken.
661
00:19:30,655 --> 00:19:31,895
You know what I mean?
662
00:19:31,935 --> 00:19:33,935
Like, I've never really looked at
that as an option.
663
00:19:33,975 --> 00:19:34,815
Like, I've never really looked at
that as an option.
664
00:19:34,855 --> 00:19:36,855
But maybe I do need to realise
that maybe I'm the fucking drama.
665
00:19:36,895 --> 00:19:38,895
But maybe I do need to realise
that maybe I'm the fucking drama.
666
00:19:38,935 --> 00:19:39,535
But maybe I do need to realise
that maybe I'm the fucking drama.
667
00:19:42,855 --> 00:19:44,295
Not in a million years
668
00:19:44,335 --> 00:19:46,335
did I think feeling pleasure
would be so hard for me.
669
00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:47,375
did I think feeling pleasure
would be so hard for me.
670
00:19:47,415 --> 00:19:49,415
So I'm putting my faith
in my favourite subject, science,
671
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:50,895
So I'm putting my faith
in my favourite subject, science,
672
00:19:50,935 --> 00:19:52,735
to find out why.
673
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,775
About one in three women reports
having a low sex drive.
674
00:19:54,815 --> 00:19:55,695
About one in three women reports
having a low sex drive.
675
00:19:55,735 --> 00:19:57,735
So what if my libido is the issue?
676
00:19:57,775 --> 00:19:58,095
So what if my libido is the issue?
677
00:19:58,135 --> 00:20:00,135
I'm Yewande. Nice to meet you.
Very nice to meet you.
678
00:20:00,175 --> 00:20:00,895
I'm Yewande. Nice to meet you.
Very nice to meet you.
679
00:20:00,935 --> 00:20:02,935
I've been invited to the University
of Essex to find out.
680
00:20:02,975 --> 00:20:04,255
I've been invited to the University
of Essex to find out.
681
00:20:04,295 --> 00:20:06,295
Dr Gerulf Rieger is one
of the leading UK scientists
682
00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:08,335
Dr Gerulf Rieger is one
of the leading UK scientists
683
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:08,615
Dr Gerulf Rieger is one
of the leading UK scientists
684
00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:10,055
in female sexual arousal.
685
00:20:10,095 --> 00:20:12,095
Testing how aroused I get will be
PhD student Chloe Tasker.
686
00:20:12,135 --> 00:20:14,135
Testing how aroused I get will be
PhD student Chloe Tasker.
687
00:20:14,175 --> 00:20:15,175
Testing how aroused I get will be
PhD student Chloe Tasker.
688
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,215
If you'd like to go in and sit down.
OK.
689
00:20:17,255 --> 00:20:17,655
If you'd like to go in and sit down.
OK.
690
00:20:17,695 --> 00:20:19,695
Inside this curious cubicle,
fittingly named the arousal booth.
691
00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:21,735
Inside this curious cubicle,
fittingly named the arousal booth.
692
00:20:21,775 --> 00:20:22,015
Inside this curious cubicle,
fittingly named the arousal booth.
693
00:20:23,215 --> 00:20:25,215
So this is the eye tracker.
694
00:20:25,255 --> 00:20:25,455
So this is the eye tracker.
695
00:20:25,495 --> 00:20:26,855
Scary!
696
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,895
I'm one of 350 women that Chloe's
testing for her doctoral thesis
697
00:20:30,935 --> 00:20:32,935
I'm one of 350 women that Chloe's
testing for her doctoral thesis
698
00:20:32,975 --> 00:20:33,575
I'm one of 350 women that Chloe's
testing for her doctoral thesis
699
00:20:33,615 --> 00:20:35,615
by measuring eye pupil dilation
and reading my vaginal pulse.
700
00:20:35,655 --> 00:20:37,655
by measuring eye pupil dilation
and reading my vaginal pulse.
701
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:38,135
by measuring eye pupil dilation
and reading my vaginal pulse.
702
00:20:38,175 --> 00:20:39,735
This is the probe.
703
00:20:40,855 --> 00:20:42,855
There is some lube over there
if you need it.
704
00:20:42,895 --> 00:20:43,535
There is some lube over there
if you need it.
705
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,575
If you can get undressed
from the waist down for me. Yeah.
706
00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:46,015
If you can get undressed
from the waist down for me. Yeah.
707
00:20:46,055 --> 00:20:48,055
Put this in and then call me
when you're ready.
708
00:20:48,095 --> 00:20:49,055
Put this in and then call me
when you're ready.
709
00:20:49,095 --> 00:20:51,095
The idea is to measure how turned
on I
710
00:20:51,135 --> 00:20:53,135
get by watching alternating porn
clips of men and women masturbating.
711
00:20:53,175 --> 00:20:55,175
get by watching alternating porn
clips of men and women masturbating.
712
00:20:55,215 --> 00:20:56,455
get by watching alternating porn
clips of men and women masturbating.
713
00:20:56,495 --> 00:20:58,495
As someone who has spent years
pioneering life-changing vaccines,
714
00:20:58,535 --> 00:21:00,535
As someone who has spent years
pioneering life-changing vaccines,
715
00:21:00,575 --> 00:21:01,135
As someone who has spent years
pioneering life-changing vaccines,
716
00:21:01,175 --> 00:21:03,175
it feels good to be back
in the world of scientific rigour.
717
00:21:03,215 --> 00:21:03,935
it feels good to be back
in the world of scientific rigour.
718
00:21:03,975 --> 00:21:05,975
Oh, my God,
I got lube all over my jacket!
719
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:06,935
Oh, my God,
I got lube all over my jacket!
720
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,895
Oh, no!
721
00:21:10,935 --> 00:21:12,935
Guys, can you see my vagina
on screen?
722
00:21:12,975 --> 00:21:14,775
Guys, can you see my vagina
on screen?
723
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:16,815
We can see what's basically
your pulse in your vagina.
724
00:21:16,855 --> 00:21:17,895
We can see what's basically
your pulse in your vagina.
725
00:21:17,935 --> 00:21:19,935
Oh, wow.It's cool.
726
00:21:19,975 --> 00:21:20,175
Oh, wow.It's cool.
727
00:21:20,215 --> 00:21:21,215
That's something.
728
00:21:23,695 --> 00:21:25,695
Female sexual pleasure remains
vastly understudied.
729
00:21:25,735 --> 00:21:26,695
Female sexual pleasure remains
vastly understudied.
730
00:21:26,735 --> 00:21:28,735
But watching porn with a probe
up my vagina is, believe it or not,
731
00:21:28,775 --> 00:21:30,775
But watching porn with a probe
up my vagina is, believe it or not,
732
00:21:30,815 --> 00:21:32,815
the number one method to measure
genital arousal in women.
733
00:21:32,855 --> 00:21:34,855
the number one method to measure
genital arousal in women.
734
00:21:34,895 --> 00:21:35,095
the number one method to measure
genital arousal in women.
735
00:21:38,335 --> 00:21:40,335
Why does he look like he's looking
directly into my soul?
736
00:21:40,375 --> 00:21:42,175
Why does he look like he's looking
directly into my soul?
737
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:46,935
When she starts seeing a sexual
video,
738
00:21:46,975 --> 00:21:48,975
there's a reaction
to it that's not necessarily sexual.
739
00:21:49,015 --> 00:21:51,015
there's a reaction
to it that's not necessarily sexual.
740
00:21:51,055 --> 00:21:51,335
there's a reaction
to it that's not necessarily sexual.
741
00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:53,375
This is very unusual that you don't
see that much arousal.
742
00:21:53,415 --> 00:21:55,295
This is very unusual that you don't
see that much arousal.
743
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:58,615
Yewande, can you keep your eye on
the screen, please?
744
00:21:58,655 --> 00:22:00,015
Yewande, can you keep your eye on
the screen, please?
745
00:22:00,055 --> 00:22:01,695
Sorry.Thank you.
746
00:22:07,655 --> 00:22:08,735
Not much so far.
747
00:22:11,095 --> 00:22:12,415
Before we did this experiment,
748
00:22:12,455 --> 00:22:14,455
I would have told you
I guarantee you will get aroused,
749
00:22:14,495 --> 00:22:15,695
I would have told you
I guarantee you will get aroused,
750
00:22:15,735 --> 00:22:17,215
because women always do.
751
00:22:20,695 --> 00:22:21,655
Done!
752
00:22:23,295 --> 00:22:24,695
How did you find it?
753
00:22:24,735 --> 00:22:26,735
I don't think I liked any
of them much.
754
00:22:26,775 --> 00:22:27,255
I don't think I liked any
of them much.
755
00:22:27,295 --> 00:22:29,015
I would agree. OK!
756
00:22:30,135 --> 00:22:32,135
This is the start of the guy.
757
00:22:32,175 --> 00:22:32,415
This is the start of the guy.
758
00:22:32,455 --> 00:22:34,455
And this is where we can see
you were a little bit shocked.
759
00:22:34,495 --> 00:22:36,415
And this is where we can see
you were a little bit shocked.
760
00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:38,455
It was really hard to figure
out where the porn clips were
761
00:22:38,495 --> 00:22:38,855
It was really hard to figure
out where the porn clips were
762
00:22:38,895 --> 00:22:40,895
because we couldn't see your arousal
763
00:22:40,935 --> 00:22:41,695
because we couldn't see your arousal
764
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,735
as clearly
as we would usually see it.
765
00:22:43,775 --> 00:22:44,295
as clearly
as we would usually see it.
766
00:22:44,335 --> 00:22:46,335
Maybe because I wasn't sexually
attracted to them,
767
00:22:46,375 --> 00:22:48,055
Maybe because I wasn't sexually
attracted to them,
768
00:22:48,095 --> 00:22:50,095
it was harder
for me to naturally be aroused.
769
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:51,335
it was harder
for me to naturally be aroused.
770
00:22:51,375 --> 00:22:53,375
Probably played a factor in my
really terrible graph.
771
00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:55,135
Probably played a factor in my
really terrible graph.
772
00:22:55,175 --> 00:22:56,735
THEY LAUGH
773
00:22:56,775 --> 00:22:58,735
Yeah.
774
00:22:58,775 --> 00:23:00,775
Usually, women show some arousal
to something,
775
00:23:00,815 --> 00:23:02,815
Usually, women show some arousal
to something,
776
00:23:02,855 --> 00:23:03,215
Usually, women show some arousal
to something,
777
00:23:03,255 --> 00:23:05,255
and based on that,
she could be asexual.
778
00:23:05,295 --> 00:23:07,295
and based on that,
she could be asexual.
779
00:23:07,335 --> 00:23:07,575
and based on that,
she could be asexual.
780
00:23:07,615 --> 00:23:09,135
But I'm still not certain
781
00:23:09,175 --> 00:23:11,175
if some of that was actually
more of a stress reaction.
782
00:23:11,215 --> 00:23:12,935
if some of that was actually
more of a stress reaction.
783
00:23:12,975 --> 00:23:14,975
You are a little bit of a puzzle.
784
00:23:15,015 --> 00:23:15,815
You are a little bit of a puzzle.
785
00:23:15,855 --> 00:23:17,855
Yeah, I'm starting to to figure
that.
786
00:23:17,895 --> 00:23:18,695
Yeah, I'm starting to to figure
that.
787
00:23:20,655 --> 00:23:22,655
I know from experience that science
doesn't lie,
788
00:23:22,695 --> 00:23:23,575
I know from experience that science
doesn't lie,
789
00:23:23,615 --> 00:23:25,615
but their conclusions
are a bitter pill to swallow.
790
00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:27,055
but their conclusions
are a bitter pill to swallow.
791
00:23:29,655 --> 00:23:31,255
Even though the results are there,
792
00:23:31,295 --> 00:23:33,295
I feel like I don't necessarily
agree with them, in a way.
793
00:23:33,335 --> 00:23:33,775
I feel like I don't necessarily
agree with them, in a way.
794
00:23:33,815 --> 00:23:35,815
I know I'm definitely not asexual.
795
00:23:35,855 --> 00:23:36,295
I know I'm definitely not asexual.
796
00:23:39,815 --> 00:23:41,815
Dr Rieger's spent 20 years
measuring people's arousal.
797
00:23:41,855 --> 00:23:42,895
Dr Rieger's spent 20 years
measuring people's arousal.
798
00:23:42,935 --> 00:23:44,935
So to hear that I'm off the scale
799
00:23:44,975 --> 00:23:45,375
So to hear that I'm off the scale
800
00:23:45,415 --> 00:23:47,415
has got me questioning why.
801
00:23:47,455 --> 00:23:47,655
has got me questioning why.
802
00:23:47,695 --> 00:23:49,695
I think I feel fear when...
803
00:23:49,735 --> 00:23:50,775
I think I feel fear when...
804
00:23:50,815 --> 00:23:52,815
..I think about masturbation.
805
00:23:52,855 --> 00:23:54,855
..I think about masturbation.
806
00:23:54,895 --> 00:23:56,055
..I think about masturbation.
807
00:23:56,095 --> 00:23:58,095
It's like I feel the emotion there,
808
00:23:58,135 --> 00:23:59,295
It's like I feel the emotion there,
809
00:24:01,095 --> 00:24:03,095
but I don't know what I'm scared
of.
810
00:24:03,135 --> 00:24:03,335
but I don't know what I'm scared
of.
811
00:24:10,775 --> 00:24:12,775
My journey to becoming more orgasmic
isn't going well.
812
00:24:12,815 --> 00:24:13,975
My journey to becoming more orgasmic
isn't going well.
813
00:24:14,015 --> 00:24:16,015
So far, I've struggled to
masturbate,
814
00:24:16,055 --> 00:24:16,535
So far, I've struggled to
masturbate,
815
00:24:16,575 --> 00:24:17,935
been deemed asexual
816
00:24:17,975 --> 00:24:19,975
and find myself no closer
to feeling the elusive O.
817
00:24:20,015 --> 00:24:21,295
and find myself no closer
to feeling the elusive O.
818
00:24:22,575 --> 00:24:24,095
So let's rewind a bit.
819
00:24:28,895 --> 00:24:30,895
What exactly is this state
of blissful euphoria
820
00:24:30,935 --> 00:24:31,775
What exactly is this state
of blissful euphoria
821
00:24:31,815 --> 00:24:33,815
I'm trying to achieve?
822
00:24:33,855 --> 00:24:34,095
I'm trying to achieve?
823
00:24:34,135 --> 00:24:36,135
Someone who might be able to tell me
is Anna.
824
00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:36,855
Someone who might be able to tell me
is Anna.
825
00:24:36,895 --> 00:24:38,615
Major girl crush alert -
826
00:24:38,655 --> 00:24:40,655
she's a mechanical engineer
and an orgasm influencer.
827
00:24:40,695 --> 00:24:42,695
she's a mechanical engineer
and an orgasm influencer.
828
00:24:42,735 --> 00:24:42,975
she's a mechanical engineer
and an orgasm influencer.
829
00:24:43,015 --> 00:24:44,815
As well as going viral,
830
00:24:44,855 --> 00:24:46,855
she was listed on the prestigious
Forbes 30 Under 30 list
831
00:24:46,895 --> 00:24:48,895
she was listed on the prestigious
Forbes 30 Under 30 list
832
00:24:48,935 --> 00:24:50,935
for developing a sex toy that not
only gets you off,
833
00:24:50,975 --> 00:24:51,895
for developing a sex toy that not
only gets you off,
834
00:24:51,935 --> 00:24:53,935
but can also measure your pleasure.
835
00:24:53,975 --> 00:24:54,255
but can also measure your pleasure.
836
00:24:55,615 --> 00:24:57,495
Products are never made by women,
837
00:24:57,535 --> 00:24:59,535
especially products
that have women in mind.
838
00:24:59,575 --> 00:25:00,215
especially products
that have women in mind.
839
00:25:00,255 --> 00:25:02,255
And then I
ended up meeting a founder
840
00:25:02,295 --> 00:25:02,575
And then I
ended up meeting a founder
841
00:25:02,615 --> 00:25:04,615
of a different sex toy company.
It was a guy, and I was like,
842
00:25:04,655 --> 00:25:05,215
of a different sex toy company.
It was a guy, and I was like,
843
00:25:05,255 --> 00:25:07,255
"How do you know what you're
building works for women?"
844
00:25:07,295 --> 00:25:07,655
"How do you know what you're
building works for women?"
845
00:25:07,695 --> 00:25:09,695
And he was like, "There's an
industry standard
846
00:25:09,735 --> 00:25:10,015
And he was like, "There's an
industry standard
847
00:25:10,055 --> 00:25:11,495
"where you put the vibration on your
nose,
848
00:25:11,535 --> 00:25:13,535
"and that's what a clitoris feels
like." Oh, wow!
849
00:25:13,575 --> 00:25:13,815
"and that's what a clitoris feels
like." Oh, wow!
850
00:25:13,855 --> 00:25:15,855
Yeah! That's... That is crazy.
851
00:25:15,895 --> 00:25:16,135
Yeah! That's... That is crazy.
852
00:25:16,175 --> 00:25:18,175
We wanted to give people a tool
to actually understand their orgasms
853
00:25:18,215 --> 00:25:19,895
We wanted to give people a tool
to actually understand their orgasms
854
00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:21,935
and sexual pleasure better and do
it through, like, biofeedback data.
855
00:25:21,975 --> 00:25:23,495
and sexual pleasure better and do
it through, like, biofeedback data.
856
00:25:23,535 --> 00:25:25,495
There's different things that
happen,
857
00:25:25,535 --> 00:25:27,535
like your heart rate increases,
858
00:25:27,575 --> 00:25:27,775
like your heart rate increases,
859
00:25:27,815 --> 00:25:28,895
your pupils dilate,
860
00:25:28,935 --> 00:25:30,935
your chemicals like oxytocin
get released in your brain.
861
00:25:30,975 --> 00:25:32,575
your chemicals like oxytocin
get released in your brain.
862
00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:34,055
But one of the best things
863
00:25:34,095 --> 00:25:36,095
that researchers will measure most
often
864
00:25:36,135 --> 00:25:36,415
that researchers will measure most
often
865
00:25:36,455 --> 00:25:38,455
is your involuntary
pelvic floor contraction,
866
00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:38,775
is your involuntary
pelvic floor contraction,
867
00:25:38,815 --> 00:25:40,815
so how your vagina squeezes
and relaxes.
868
00:25:40,855 --> 00:25:41,135
so how your vagina squeezes
and relaxes.
869
00:25:41,175 --> 00:25:43,175
Once you've done the deed,
the smart vibrator links to an app
870
00:25:43,215 --> 00:25:44,455
Once you've done the deed,
the smart vibrator links to an app
871
00:25:44,495 --> 00:25:46,255
which charts your orgasm.
872
00:25:47,535 --> 00:25:49,535
So if you actually squeeze
the little sensor parts,
873
00:25:49,575 --> 00:25:50,055
So if you actually squeeze
the little sensor parts,
874
00:25:50,095 --> 00:25:52,095
you can actually see it in real
time.
875
00:25:52,135 --> 00:25:52,375
you can actually see it in real
time.
876
00:25:52,415 --> 00:25:54,015
Then you pair it to your phone
877
00:25:54,055 --> 00:25:56,055
and you get cool graphs like this.
878
00:25:56,095 --> 00:25:56,615
and you get cool graphs like this.
879
00:25:56,655 --> 00:25:58,375
By analysing the orgasm data
880
00:25:58,415 --> 00:26:00,415
users donated to Anna and her team,
881
00:26:00,455 --> 00:26:00,735
users donated to Anna and her team,
882
00:26:00,775 --> 00:26:02,775
they made some wild discoveries.
883
00:26:02,815 --> 00:26:03,015
they made some wild discoveries.
884
00:26:04,095 --> 00:26:06,095
We found that there's three
unique patterns that happen
885
00:26:06,135 --> 00:26:07,175
We found that there's three
unique patterns that happen
886
00:26:07,215 --> 00:26:09,215
during an orgasm, and every
woman is uniquely different.
887
00:26:09,255 --> 00:26:10,015
during an orgasm, and every
woman is uniquely different.
888
00:26:10,055 --> 00:26:11,455
For me, I'm an ocean wave.
889
00:26:11,495 --> 00:26:13,495
So this is actually my data.
Is it?Yeah!
890
00:26:13,535 --> 00:26:14,855
So this is actually my data.
Is it?Yeah!
891
00:26:14,895 --> 00:26:16,615
I'll show you so much of my
own data.
892
00:26:16,655 --> 00:26:18,655
The ocean wave is a really rhythmic
pelvic floor function
893
00:26:18,695 --> 00:26:19,495
The ocean wave is a really rhythmic
pelvic floor function
894
00:26:19,535 --> 00:26:21,535
where you're squeezing and relaxing
at a regular pace.
895
00:26:21,575 --> 00:26:22,775
where you're squeezing and relaxing
at a regular pace.
896
00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:24,735
Then you have one called the
avalanche,
897
00:26:24,775 --> 00:26:26,535
where it starts much higher in
force,
898
00:26:26,575 --> 00:26:28,335
but then goes down in force
over time,
899
00:26:28,375 --> 00:26:30,375
but still this rhythmic
pelvic floor function.
900
00:26:30,415 --> 00:26:31,055
but still this rhythmic
pelvic floor function.
901
00:26:31,095 --> 00:26:32,895
And then this is the volcano type.
902
00:26:32,935 --> 00:26:34,735
So this is like the classic,
903
00:26:34,775 --> 00:26:36,775
how they show it in movies, you
know,
904
00:26:36,815 --> 00:26:37,095
how they show it in movies, you
know,
905
00:26:37,135 --> 00:26:39,055
like it's all this regular force
906
00:26:39,095 --> 00:26:41,095
and then a huge explosion of force
and then a quick drop down.
907
00:26:41,135 --> 00:26:42,775
and then a huge explosion of force
and then a quick drop down.
908
00:26:42,815 --> 00:26:44,255
So there's three unique types
909
00:26:44,295 --> 00:26:46,295
and so far, we've seen
every woman is one type.
910
00:26:46,335 --> 00:26:47,175
and so far, we've seen
every woman is one type.
911
00:26:47,215 --> 00:26:49,135
Pretty sure my data
would be classified
912
00:26:49,175 --> 00:26:51,175
as a natural disaster, too.
913
00:26:51,215 --> 00:26:51,455
as a natural disaster, too.
914
00:26:51,495 --> 00:26:53,495
Can I show you how freaking stress
makes my O data look?
915
00:26:53,535 --> 00:26:54,935
Can I show you how freaking stress
makes my O data look?
916
00:26:54,975 --> 00:26:56,975
But not all orgasms are
created equal.
917
00:26:57,015 --> 00:26:57,895
But not all orgasms are
created equal.
918
00:26:57,935 --> 00:26:59,415
And in the name of research,
919
00:26:59,455 --> 00:27:01,455
Anna has become her own pleasure
guinea pig,
920
00:27:01,495 --> 00:27:01,815
Anna has become her own pleasure
guinea pig,
921
00:27:01,855 --> 00:27:03,855
testing all the things that could
help or hinder her pleasure.
922
00:27:03,895 --> 00:27:05,415
testing all the things that could
help or hinder her pleasure.
923
00:27:05,455 --> 00:27:07,455
And a big one for many of us
is alcohol.
924
00:27:07,495 --> 00:27:08,215
And a big one for many of us
is alcohol.
925
00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:11,295
You can see, like, in the alcohol
session versus the normal session,
926
00:27:11,335 --> 00:27:12,335
You can see, like, in the alcohol
session versus the normal session,
927
00:27:12,375 --> 00:27:14,375
you see all these, like, crazy
spikes that happen,
928
00:27:14,415 --> 00:27:14,935
you see all these, like, crazy
spikes that happen,
929
00:27:14,975 --> 00:27:16,975
but the orgasm itself is
really weak.
930
00:27:17,015 --> 00:27:17,295
but the orgasm itself is
really weak.
931
00:27:17,335 --> 00:27:18,735
You can tell this is taking much
longer
932
00:27:18,775 --> 00:27:20,775
because I was trying to
concentrate, but I was, like, drunk,
933
00:27:20,815 --> 00:27:21,975
because I was trying to
concentrate, but I was, like, drunk,
934
00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:23,495
so I couldn't really focus.
935
00:27:23,535 --> 00:27:25,535
So one thing I know about myself
is, like, if I drink alcohol,
936
00:27:25,575 --> 00:27:26,255
So one thing I know about myself
is, like, if I drink alcohol,
937
00:27:26,295 --> 00:27:28,295
it's going to affect how I feel,
like, sexually,
938
00:27:28,335 --> 00:27:28,575
it's going to affect how I feel,
like, sexually,
939
00:27:28,615 --> 00:27:30,615
and then difficult to orgasm.
940
00:27:30,655 --> 00:27:31,175
and then difficult to orgasm.
941
00:27:31,215 --> 00:27:33,215
And we know that data helps people
feel confident about their body.
942
00:27:33,255 --> 00:27:34,655
And we know that data helps people
feel confident about their body.
943
00:27:34,695 --> 00:27:36,695
And confidence is one of the biggest
elements of, like,
944
00:27:36,735 --> 00:27:37,215
And confidence is one of the biggest
elements of, like,
945
00:27:37,255 --> 00:27:39,095
getting to an orgasm.
946
00:27:39,135 --> 00:27:41,015
Meeting Anna meant so much to me,
947
00:27:41,055 --> 00:27:42,895
and it clicks with me a little bit
more
948
00:27:42,935 --> 00:27:44,735
because I have an analytical mind.
949
00:27:44,775 --> 00:27:46,775
It makes me feel comfortable
having the conversation
950
00:27:46,815 --> 00:27:47,455
It makes me feel comfortable
having the conversation
951
00:27:47,495 --> 00:27:49,495
and helping normalise it a bit more
and scientifically break it down.
952
00:27:49,535 --> 00:27:51,535
and helping normalise it a bit more
and scientifically break it down.
953
00:27:51,575 --> 00:27:52,935
and helping normalise it a bit more
and scientifically break it down.
954
00:27:59,335 --> 00:28:01,335
It's reassuring to view my lack
of orgasms
955
00:28:01,375 --> 00:28:01,935
It's reassuring to view my lack
of orgasms
956
00:28:01,975 --> 00:28:03,975
as a science problem
rather than a me problem,
957
00:28:04,015 --> 00:28:04,615
as a science problem
rather than a me problem,
958
00:28:04,655 --> 00:28:06,655
but I'm still going to need
a bit of help.
959
00:28:06,695 --> 00:28:07,895
but I'm still going to need
a bit of help.
960
00:28:07,935 --> 00:28:09,935
I never...! Yeah, I never thought
I'd be coming back here,
961
00:28:09,975 --> 00:28:11,655
I never...! Yeah, I never thought
I'd be coming back here,
962
00:28:11,695 --> 00:28:13,055
I really didn't.
963
00:28:13,095 --> 00:28:15,095
I feel like I'm going
to see, like, an old friend
964
00:28:15,135 --> 00:28:16,655
I feel like I'm going
to see, like, an old friend
965
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,695
who is very sexually out there.
966
00:28:18,735 --> 00:28:19,895
who is very sexually out there.
967
00:28:19,935 --> 00:28:21,935
As well as pussy gazing,
968
00:28:21,975 --> 00:28:22,495
As well as pussy gazing,
969
00:28:22,535 --> 00:28:24,535
Lacey helps women overcome
their sexual problems,
970
00:28:24,575 --> 00:28:25,215
Lacey helps women overcome
their sexual problems,
971
00:28:25,255 --> 00:28:27,255
so I'm keen
to see how she can help me.
972
00:28:27,295 --> 00:28:27,735
so I'm keen
to see how she can help me.
973
00:28:29,775 --> 00:28:31,775
I went sex toy shopping
and I got a few toys.
974
00:28:31,815 --> 00:28:33,775
I went sex toy shopping
and I got a few toys.
975
00:28:33,815 --> 00:28:35,815
I tried it on, like, different
zones of my vulva.
976
00:28:35,855 --> 00:28:37,415
I tried it on, like, different
zones of my vulva.
977
00:28:37,455 --> 00:28:39,455
It didn't feel like how I thought
it would.
978
00:28:39,495 --> 00:28:39,735
It didn't feel like how I thought
it would.
979
00:28:39,775 --> 00:28:41,015
It wasn't enjoyable.
980
00:28:42,935 --> 00:28:44,935
You know what I want you to do
with your toys? What?
981
00:28:44,975 --> 00:28:45,255
You know what I want you to do
with your toys? What?
982
00:28:45,295 --> 00:28:47,175
I want you to throw them
in the fucking garbage.
983
00:28:49,695 --> 00:28:51,535
There is a lot of sensation coming
through
984
00:28:51,575 --> 00:28:53,575
when you put that level of vibration
985
00:28:53,615 --> 00:28:53,855
when you put that level of vibration
986
00:28:53,895 --> 00:28:55,895
on one of the most sensitive parts
of your body.
987
00:28:55,935 --> 00:28:56,255
on one of the most sensitive parts
of your body.
988
00:28:56,295 --> 00:28:58,295
It's no wonder that it was
a rude awakening for you.
989
00:28:58,335 --> 00:28:59,695
It's no wonder that it was
a rude awakening for you.
990
00:28:59,735 --> 00:29:01,735
And that doesn't make you broken.
991
00:29:01,775 --> 00:29:02,015
And that doesn't make you broken.
992
00:29:02,055 --> 00:29:03,575
That doesn't make you pussy broken.
993
00:29:03,615 --> 00:29:05,615
That's just where you are
at this stage in your journey.
994
00:29:05,655 --> 00:29:06,815
That's just where you are
at this stage in your journey.
995
00:29:06,855 --> 00:29:08,855
Yeah.It's just part of an
awakening process
996
00:29:08,895 --> 00:29:09,415
Yeah.It's just part of an
awakening process
997
00:29:09,455 --> 00:29:11,455
of, like, turning yourself on
to your turn-on.
998
00:29:11,495 --> 00:29:12,255
of, like, turning yourself on
to your turn-on.
999
00:29:14,855 --> 00:29:16,415
After an in-depth chat,
1000
00:29:16,455 --> 00:29:18,455
Lacey convinces me to ditch the toys
1001
00:29:18,495 --> 00:29:18,855
Lacey convinces me to ditch the toys
1002
00:29:18,895 --> 00:29:19,855
and go solo.
1003
00:29:25,055 --> 00:29:27,055
This is a story to tell
my grandkids.Exactly...
1004
00:29:27,095 --> 00:29:28,415
This is a story to tell
my grandkids.Exactly...
1005
00:29:28,455 --> 00:29:30,455
This is definitely one for the
books.
1006
00:29:30,495 --> 00:29:31,255
This is definitely one for the
books.
1007
00:29:31,295 --> 00:29:33,295
..when you're living
your multi-orgasmic life.
1008
00:29:33,335 --> 00:29:33,535
..when you're living
your multi-orgasmic life.
1009
00:29:36,815 --> 00:29:38,815
You are an orgasmic woman.
1010
00:29:38,855 --> 00:29:40,575
You are an orgasmic woman.
1011
00:29:40,615 --> 00:29:42,375
YEWANDE LAUGHS
1012
00:29:43,935 --> 00:29:45,935
Is that funny? That is hilarious.
1013
00:29:45,975 --> 00:29:46,175
Is that funny? That is hilarious.
1014
00:29:46,215 --> 00:29:47,215
Why?
1015
00:29:47,255 --> 00:29:49,255
It's funny because I don't
believe it.
1016
00:29:49,295 --> 00:29:49,575
It's funny because I don't
believe it.
1017
00:29:49,615 --> 00:29:51,615
We'll see what your vulva has to
say.
1018
00:29:51,655 --> 00:29:51,855
We'll see what your vulva has to
say.
1019
00:29:53,295 --> 00:29:55,295
Take a few more breaths.
1020
00:29:55,335 --> 00:29:55,975
Take a few more breaths.
1021
00:29:56,015 --> 00:29:58,015
Maybe one hand can stay on your
lower belly or just rest,
1022
00:29:58,055 --> 00:29:59,455
Maybe one hand can stay on your
lower belly or just rest,
1023
00:29:59,495 --> 00:30:01,455
and the other hand can maybe
1024
00:30:01,495 --> 00:30:03,495
start to just kind of go down
the front a little bit.
1025
00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:04,815
start to just kind of go down
the front a little bit.
1026
00:30:07,975 --> 00:30:09,975
Take your fingers and just kind
of move them around like this
1027
00:30:10,015 --> 00:30:12,015
Take your fingers and just kind
of move them around like this
1028
00:30:12,055 --> 00:30:12,335
Take your fingers and just kind
of move them around like this
1029
00:30:12,375 --> 00:30:14,375
so you've kind of touch your inner
labia
1030
00:30:14,415 --> 00:30:15,055
so you've kind of touch your inner
labia
1031
00:30:15,095 --> 00:30:17,095
and, like, gently stroked
up towards your clitoral hood.
1032
00:30:17,135 --> 00:30:19,135
and, like, gently stroked
up towards your clitoral hood.
1033
00:30:19,175 --> 00:30:19,815
and, like, gently stroked
up towards your clitoral hood.
1034
00:30:19,855 --> 00:30:21,855
Maybe, like, do a little bit of
this.
1035
00:30:21,895 --> 00:30:22,175
Maybe, like, do a little bit of
this.
1036
00:30:22,215 --> 00:30:24,215
After half an hour of fruitlessly
fingering, I'm done.
1037
00:30:24,255 --> 00:30:26,175
After half an hour of fruitlessly
fingering, I'm done.
1038
00:30:26,215 --> 00:30:28,215
It just feels like touching.
1039
00:30:28,255 --> 00:30:28,695
It just feels like touching.
1040
00:30:28,735 --> 00:30:30,735
Would you like to move
from neutrality into pleasure?
1041
00:30:30,775 --> 00:30:32,135
Would you like to move
from neutrality into pleasure?
1042
00:30:34,535 --> 00:30:35,535
No.
1043
00:30:35,575 --> 00:30:36,535
No.
1044
00:30:40,575 --> 00:30:41,855
Oh.
1045
00:30:41,895 --> 00:30:43,895
For me, it's like an emotional
disconnect.
1046
00:30:43,935 --> 00:30:45,935
For me, it's like an emotional
disconnect.
1047
00:30:45,975 --> 00:30:46,655
For me, it's like an emotional
disconnect.
1048
00:30:48,015 --> 00:30:50,015
And I don't know how to get
past that.
1049
00:30:50,055 --> 00:30:51,935
And I don't know how to get
past that.
1050
00:30:51,975 --> 00:30:53,975
So this is the kind of sex education
that I'm very interested in.
1051
00:30:54,015 --> 00:30:54,695
So this is the kind of sex education
that I'm very interested in.
1052
00:30:54,735 --> 00:30:56,735
What is sex education that's
not anatomical,
1053
00:30:56,775 --> 00:30:57,655
What is sex education that's
not anatomical,
1054
00:30:57,695 --> 00:30:59,695
what's actually happening
as we touch our bodies,
1055
00:30:59,735 --> 00:31:00,055
what's actually happening
as we touch our bodies,
1056
00:31:00,095 --> 00:31:01,775
where our blocks are.
1057
00:31:01,815 --> 00:31:03,815
Is there anything else that I can
offer you or anything that would be,
1058
00:31:03,855 --> 00:31:05,855
Is there anything else that I can
offer you or anything that would be,
1059
00:31:05,895 --> 00:31:06,735
Is there anything else that I can
offer you or anything that would be,
1060
00:31:06,775 --> 00:31:08,775
I don't know, just really helpful
right now for you?
1061
00:31:08,815 --> 00:31:10,255
I don't know, just really helpful
right now for you?
1062
00:31:10,295 --> 00:31:12,295
I think it would be great to...
1063
00:31:12,335 --> 00:31:14,335
Like, it's so weird to say
1064
00:31:14,375 --> 00:31:15,215
Like, it's so weird to say
1065
00:31:15,255 --> 00:31:17,255
because it's like...
it feels impossible.
1066
00:31:17,295 --> 00:31:18,495
because it's like...
it feels impossible.
1067
00:31:18,535 --> 00:31:20,535
But it would be great to see,
like, a simulation.
1068
00:31:20,575 --> 00:31:21,215
But it would be great to see,
like, a simulation.
1069
00:31:21,255 --> 00:31:23,255
VOICEOVER: Yeah, a simulation -
1070
00:31:23,295 --> 00:31:23,495
VOICEOVER: Yeah, a simulation -
1071
00:31:23,535 --> 00:31:25,255
my very nerdy and awkward way
1072
00:31:25,295 --> 00:31:27,295
of asking Lacey to show me
how to masturbate.
1073
00:31:27,335 --> 00:31:28,135
of asking Lacey to show me
how to masturbate.
1074
00:31:28,175 --> 00:31:30,175
If that would be helpful,
I can definitely do that for you.
1075
00:31:30,215 --> 00:31:30,855
If that would be helpful,
I can definitely do that for you.
1076
00:31:30,895 --> 00:31:32,895
Yeah, yeah.Yeah? Yeah.
Let's do it. All right.
1077
00:31:32,935 --> 00:31:33,895
Yeah, yeah.Yeah? Yeah.
Let's do it. All right.
1078
00:31:33,935 --> 00:31:35,935
Back to the floor.
1079
00:31:35,975 --> 00:31:36,215
Back to the floor.
1080
00:31:36,255 --> 00:31:38,255
We're furthering your education. OK.
Yeah?
1081
00:31:38,295 --> 00:31:39,455
We're furthering your education. OK.
Yeah?
1082
00:31:39,495 --> 00:31:40,535
So this is all about you.
1083
00:31:42,855 --> 00:31:44,855
Watch how I interact with the whole
of myself.
1084
00:31:44,895 --> 00:31:45,975
Watch how I interact with the whole
of myself.
1085
00:31:49,455 --> 00:31:51,455
So I've brought my hands down
and right away, like,
1086
00:31:51,495 --> 00:31:51,735
So I've brought my hands down
and right away, like,
1087
00:31:51,775 --> 00:31:53,775
my pussy is coming online.
1088
00:31:53,815 --> 00:31:54,055
my pussy is coming online.
1089
00:31:54,095 --> 00:31:56,095
I feel like arousal is coming
into my body.
1090
00:31:56,135 --> 00:31:57,735
I feel like arousal is coming
into my body.
1091
00:31:57,775 --> 00:31:59,775
I'm not just going for my clit,
which would be an easy fix.
1092
00:31:59,815 --> 00:32:00,935
I'm not just going for my clit,
which would be an easy fix.
1093
00:32:00,975 --> 00:32:02,975
So I'm just kind of stroking
along the inside.
1094
00:32:03,015 --> 00:32:04,175
So I'm just kind of stroking
along the inside.
1095
00:32:05,815 --> 00:32:07,175
So now I'm, like, moving.
1096
00:32:07,215 --> 00:32:09,215
Now I've kind of separated my inner
lips and found moisture
1097
00:32:09,255 --> 00:32:10,655
Now I've kind of separated my inner
lips and found moisture
1098
00:32:10,695 --> 00:32:12,695
and now I'm moving the moisture
around.
1099
00:32:12,735 --> 00:32:13,535
and now I'm moving the moisture
around.
1100
00:32:13,575 --> 00:32:15,575
What does it feel like for you?
1101
00:32:15,615 --> 00:32:15,855
What does it feel like for you?
1102
00:32:15,895 --> 00:32:17,895
It feels like pleasure.
1103
00:32:17,935 --> 00:32:18,175
It feels like pleasure.
1104
00:32:18,215 --> 00:32:20,215
It feels like the pleasure
is building.
1105
00:32:20,255 --> 00:32:21,615
It feels like the pleasure
is building.
1106
00:32:27,255 --> 00:32:28,215
Ah.
1107
00:32:29,935 --> 00:32:31,695
Never in a million years
1108
00:32:31,735 --> 00:32:33,735
would I ever think about someone
1109
00:32:33,775 --> 00:32:34,095
would I ever think about someone
1110
00:32:34,135 --> 00:32:36,135
actually showing me how to
masturbate.
1111
00:32:36,175 --> 00:32:36,895
actually showing me how to
masturbate.
1112
00:32:38,495 --> 00:32:40,495
At this stage, it's not just my, you
know, clit that feels good.
1113
00:32:40,535 --> 00:32:41,735
At this stage, it's not just my, you
know, clit that feels good.
1114
00:32:41,775 --> 00:32:43,095
It's the whole area.
1115
00:32:43,135 --> 00:32:44,855
Like, there's pleasure
in everything.
1116
00:32:44,895 --> 00:32:46,895
If I called my best friend
and I was like,
1117
00:32:46,935 --> 00:32:47,855
If I called my best friend
and I was like,
1118
00:32:47,895 --> 00:32:49,895
"I'm having issues masturbating,
can you show me?",
1119
00:32:49,935 --> 00:32:51,255
"I'm having issues masturbating,
can you show me?",
1120
00:32:51,295 --> 00:32:52,535
she'd laugh at me.
1121
00:32:56,935 --> 00:32:58,935
I felt honoured that she felt
like she could trust me in that way.
1122
00:32:58,975 --> 00:33:00,975
I felt honoured that she felt
like she could trust me in that way.
1123
00:33:01,015 --> 00:33:01,575
I felt honoured that she felt
like she could trust me in that way.
1124
00:33:08,775 --> 00:33:10,775
LACEY MOANS
1125
00:33:10,815 --> 00:33:11,295
LACEY MOANS
1126
00:33:24,455 --> 00:33:26,255
LACEY LAUGHS
1127
00:33:26,295 --> 00:33:28,295
Ahh.
1128
00:33:28,335 --> 00:33:28,495
Ahh.
1129
00:33:34,535 --> 00:33:36,535
Seeing someone being patient,
staying there, it was like,
1130
00:33:36,575 --> 00:33:37,775
Seeing someone being patient,
staying there, it was like,
1131
00:33:37,815 --> 00:33:39,815
"Oh, maybe I can do it too."
1132
00:33:39,855 --> 00:33:40,375
"Oh, maybe I can do it too."
1133
00:33:40,415 --> 00:33:41,575
Maybe.
1134
00:33:41,615 --> 00:33:43,615
I have that, like, just-fucked
energy where I feel very, like...
1135
00:33:43,655 --> 00:33:45,655
I have that, like, just-fucked
energy where I feel very, like...
1136
00:33:45,695 --> 00:33:45,975
I have that, like, just-fucked
energy where I feel very, like...
1137
00:33:46,015 --> 00:33:48,015
I'm like, "Who are these people?
What am I doing here?"
1138
00:33:48,055 --> 00:33:50,055
I'm like, "Who are these people?
What am I doing here?"
1139
00:33:50,095 --> 00:33:50,735
I'm like, "Who are these people?
What am I doing here?"
1140
00:33:50,775 --> 00:33:52,335
With a little bit of work,
1141
00:33:52,375 --> 00:33:54,055
could I push myself further?
1142
00:33:54,095 --> 00:33:55,055
I don't know.
1143
00:33:57,775 --> 00:33:59,775
Much of my focus up until now
has been flicking the bean.
1144
00:33:59,815 --> 00:34:01,815
Much of my focus up until now
has been flicking the bean.
1145
00:34:01,855 --> 00:34:02,055
Much of my focus up until now
has been flicking the bean.
1146
00:34:03,575 --> 00:34:05,575
But orgasms during sex aren't easy
either
1147
00:34:05,615 --> 00:34:06,175
But orgasms during sex aren't easy
either
1148
00:34:06,215 --> 00:34:07,735
unless you're a man,
1149
00:34:07,775 --> 00:34:09,775
who gets their rocks off 95%
of the time during heterosexual sex,
1150
00:34:09,815 --> 00:34:11,815
who gets their rocks off 95%
of the time during heterosexual sex,
1151
00:34:11,855 --> 00:34:12,535
who gets their rocks off 95%
of the time during heterosexual sex,
1152
00:34:12,575 --> 00:34:14,575
a concept coined the orgasm gap
1153
00:34:14,615 --> 00:34:14,855
a concept coined the orgasm gap
1154
00:34:14,895 --> 00:34:16,895
because us women find it much
harder.
1155
00:34:16,935 --> 00:34:17,775
because us women find it much
harder.
1156
00:34:17,815 --> 00:34:19,815
But actually, women have a higher
orgasm rate when they have sex -
1157
00:34:19,855 --> 00:34:21,695
But actually, women have a higher
orgasm rate when they have sex -
1158
00:34:21,735 --> 00:34:23,735
wait for it - with other women.
1159
00:34:23,775 --> 00:34:23,975
wait for it - with other women.
1160
00:34:24,015 --> 00:34:26,015
So what's their secret?
1161
00:34:26,055 --> 00:34:26,535
So what's their secret?
1162
00:34:26,575 --> 00:34:27,975
I'm off to find out.
1163
00:34:29,855 --> 00:34:31,855
For one night only,
1164
00:34:31,895 --> 00:34:32,175
For one night only,
1165
00:34:32,215 --> 00:34:34,215
I'm going to be a liberated woman.
1166
00:34:34,255 --> 00:34:35,095
I'm going to be a liberated woman.
1167
00:34:35,135 --> 00:34:37,135
What's the worst that could happen?
Did I mention
1168
00:34:37,175 --> 00:34:38,255
What's the worst that could happen?
Did I mention
1169
00:34:38,295 --> 00:34:40,295
I'm going to an exclusive
members only sex club for women?
1170
00:34:40,335 --> 00:34:41,775
I'm going to an exclusive
members only sex club for women?
1171
00:34:41,815 --> 00:34:43,815
Whoever kidnapped the real Yewande,
you can keep her.
1172
00:34:43,855 --> 00:34:45,095
Whoever kidnapped the real Yewande,
you can keep her.
1173
00:34:46,615 --> 00:34:47,695
Hello!
1174
00:34:47,735 --> 00:34:49,335
Hi! Welcome. Thank you.
1175
00:34:51,215 --> 00:34:53,215
This is Skirt Club, where women take
control of their own desire
1176
00:34:53,255 --> 00:34:55,095
This is Skirt Club, where women take
control of their own desire
1177
00:34:55,135 --> 00:34:56,655
without the male gaze.
1178
00:34:58,455 --> 00:35:00,455
I always thought I'd be the one
holding the coats at a sex party,
1179
00:35:00,495 --> 00:35:01,655
I always thought I'd be the one
holding the coats at a sex party,
1180
00:35:01,695 --> 00:35:03,335
or in this case, the skirts.
1181
00:35:03,375 --> 00:35:05,375
But ever devoted to expanding
my sexual horizons,
1182
00:35:05,415 --> 00:35:06,615
But ever devoted to expanding
my sexual horizons,
1183
00:35:06,655 --> 00:35:08,655
I'm here for some serious
investigative work.
1184
00:35:08,695 --> 00:35:09,815
I'm here for some serious
investigative work.
1185
00:35:11,535 --> 00:35:13,535
So why are women having more orgasms
with each other?
1186
00:35:13,575 --> 00:35:14,815
So why are women having more orgasms
with each other?
1187
00:35:14,855 --> 00:35:16,855
Someone who's experienced the best
of both worlds is Eugina,
1188
00:35:16,895 --> 00:35:18,375
Someone who's experienced the best
of both worlds is Eugina,
1189
00:35:18,415 --> 00:35:20,415
who's conveniently left her
boyfriend at home tonight.
1190
00:35:20,455 --> 00:35:22,135
who's conveniently left her
boyfriend at home tonight.
1191
00:35:22,175 --> 00:35:24,175
Women understand women better.
1192
00:35:24,215 --> 00:35:24,615
Women understand women better.
1193
00:35:24,655 --> 00:35:26,655
We understand each other's needs,
wants and desires so much more.
1194
00:35:26,695 --> 00:35:28,695
We understand each other's needs,
wants and desires so much more.
1195
00:35:28,735 --> 00:35:29,455
We understand each other's needs,
wants and desires so much more.
1196
00:35:29,495 --> 00:35:30,895
Orgasm, for example,
1197
00:35:30,935 --> 00:35:32,935
it's not only like physical thing,
1198
00:35:32,975 --> 00:35:33,335
it's not only like physical thing,
1199
00:35:33,375 --> 00:35:35,375
but it starts
with the trust and understanding.
1200
00:35:35,415 --> 00:35:37,255
but it starts
with the trust and understanding.
1201
00:35:37,295 --> 00:35:39,295
Most women, they do what
they would like to receive.
1202
00:35:39,335 --> 00:35:40,935
Most women, they do what
they would like to receive.
1203
00:35:44,335 --> 00:35:45,815
This is Toni.
1204
00:35:45,855 --> 00:35:47,855
Like me, she's come from
a conservative background
1205
00:35:47,895 --> 00:35:48,775
Like me, she's come from
a conservative background
1206
00:35:48,815 --> 00:35:50,815
and is on a journey
of self-discovery -
1207
00:35:50,855 --> 00:35:51,135
and is on a journey
of self-discovery -
1208
00:35:51,175 --> 00:35:53,175
just a bit further down
the line than me.
1209
00:35:53,215 --> 00:35:53,855
just a bit further down
the line than me.
1210
00:35:55,375 --> 00:35:57,375
VIBRATOR BUZZES LOUDLY
1211
00:35:57,415 --> 00:35:57,775
VIBRATOR BUZZES LOUDLY
1212
00:36:08,895 --> 00:36:10,255
DEVICE WINDS DOWN, THEN STOPS
1213
00:36:10,295 --> 00:36:11,975
We got there!
1214
00:36:12,015 --> 00:36:13,015
Yes!
1215
00:36:13,055 --> 00:36:14,015
APPLAUSE
1216
00:36:15,815 --> 00:36:17,815
I think I was 13, and my mum
caught me masturbating.
1217
00:36:17,855 --> 00:36:19,415
I think I was 13, and my mum
caught me masturbating.
1218
00:36:19,455 --> 00:36:21,455
Yeah, and it was so embarrassing,
1219
00:36:21,495 --> 00:36:21,815
Yeah, and it was so embarrassing,
1220
00:36:21,855 --> 00:36:23,855
but her reaction was very much
over the top.
1221
00:36:23,895 --> 00:36:25,095
but her reaction was very much
over the top.
1222
00:36:25,135 --> 00:36:26,175
I was shamed.
1223
00:36:26,215 --> 00:36:27,855
I felt so guilty.
1224
00:36:27,895 --> 00:36:29,895
And then after that, I never,
ever touched myself again.
1225
00:36:29,935 --> 00:36:30,775
And then after that, I never,
ever touched myself again.
1226
00:36:33,095 --> 00:36:35,095
Do you think it's important
to have a conversation
1227
00:36:35,135 --> 00:36:35,575
Do you think it's important
to have a conversation
1228
00:36:35,615 --> 00:36:37,615
with your family, like, about sex,
sexuality, masturbation, pleasure?
1229
00:36:37,655 --> 00:36:39,655
with your family, like, about sex,
sexuality, masturbation, pleasure?
1230
00:36:39,695 --> 00:36:40,695
with your family, like, about sex,
sexuality, masturbation, pleasure?
1231
00:36:40,735 --> 00:36:42,735
I definitely think it's an important
conversation
1232
00:36:42,775 --> 00:36:43,015
I definitely think it's an important
conversation
1233
00:36:43,055 --> 00:36:44,455
to have with your family.
1234
00:36:44,495 --> 00:36:46,495
But there are generational
differences.
1235
00:36:46,535 --> 00:36:47,175
But there are generational
differences.
1236
00:36:47,215 --> 00:36:49,215
You might not always get the
reaction that you want from them.
1237
00:36:49,255 --> 00:36:49,695
You might not always get the
reaction that you want from them.
1238
00:36:51,535 --> 00:36:53,495
Tonight's been an eye-opener,
1239
00:36:53,535 --> 00:36:55,535
but I didn't expect to come to a sex
party
1240
00:36:55,575 --> 00:36:56,175
but I didn't expect to come to a sex
party
1241
00:36:56,215 --> 00:36:58,215
and leave thinking
about my relationship with my mum.
1242
00:36:58,255 --> 00:36:59,815
and leave thinking
about my relationship with my mum.
1243
00:37:01,295 --> 00:37:03,295
I'd love to get to a point
where I'm as liberated and as free
1244
00:37:03,335 --> 00:37:05,295
I'd love to get to a point
where I'm as liberated and as free
1245
00:37:05,335 --> 00:37:06,655
as the women here today,
1246
00:37:06,695 --> 00:37:08,455
but I think a massive block for me
1247
00:37:08,495 --> 00:37:10,495
is my upbringing and religion
and culture.
1248
00:37:10,535 --> 00:37:11,255
is my upbringing and religion
and culture.
1249
00:37:11,295 --> 00:37:13,295
So I think I really need to get
to the root of that.
1250
00:37:13,335 --> 00:37:14,935
So I think I really need to get
to the root of that.
1251
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,800
Who knew that chasing an orgasm
would be this hard?
1252
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,080
Who knew that chasing an orgasm
would be this hard?
1253
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,120
Open your legs
and be really curious.
1254
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:27,000
Open your legs
and be really curious.
1255
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:28,680
Give your pussy a little squeeze.
1256
00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:30,720
You may well be able to orgasm
very normally.
1257
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:31,040
You may well be able to orgasm
very normally.
1258
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,080
The place on my clit where I like
to be touched the most...
1259
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:33,360
The place on my clit where I like
to be touched the most...
1260
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,400
Take orgasms off of the table.
1261
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:35,920
Take orgasms off of the table.
1262
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,640
Maybe I'm broken.
1263
00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:42,240
It's all feeling a bit overwhelming,
and if I'm honest, unachievable.
1264
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,280
It's all feeling a bit overwhelming,
and if I'm honest, unachievable.
1265
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:45,040
It's all feeling a bit overwhelming,
and if I'm honest, unachievable.
1266
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,560
I've decided that in order to dispel
some of these deep-rooted beliefs
1267
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,080
I've decided that in order to dispel
some of these deep-rooted beliefs
1268
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:52,760
that still linger in me,
1269
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,800
there's one person I need
to confront - my mum.
1270
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:56,360
there's one person I need
to confront - my mum.
1271
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,320
Mum grew up in Nigeria,
and when I was three,
1272
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:01,560
Mum grew up in Nigeria,
and when I was three,
1273
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,640
we moved as a family to Ireland.
1274
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,680
Safe to say, we never spoke
about sex,
1275
00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:06,280
Safe to say, we never spoke
about sex,
1276
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,320
and the idea's so uncomfortable
that I've booked an activity for us.
1277
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,360
and the idea's so uncomfortable
that I've booked an activity for us.
1278
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:10,880
and the idea's so uncomfortable
that I've booked an activity for us.
1279
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,920
Let's hope this candle-making
workshop melts away the awkwardness.
1280
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,960
Let's hope this candle-making
workshop melts away the awkwardness.
1281
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:15,720
Let's hope this candle-making
workshop melts away the awkwardness.
1282
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:17,760
Pour in your essential oils
and give it a good mix. Perfect.
1283
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,160
Pour in your essential oils
and give it a good mix. Perfect.
1284
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,200
You're all done. Now we just need
to wait for them to set. Thank you.
1285
00:38:21,240 --> 00:38:22,240
You're all done. Now we just need
to wait for them to set. Thank you.
1286
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:24,280
Yeah. Do you remember the first
conversation we ever had about sex?
1287
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:24,920
Yeah. Do you remember the first
conversation we ever had about sex?
1288
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,520
Never. Do you not think that women
should be more open
1289
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,560
Never. Do you not think that women
should be more open
1290
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,160
Never. Do you not think that women
should be more open
1291
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,200
to exploring, like sex,
their sexuality?
1292
00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:37,240
to exploring, like sex,
their sexuality?
1293
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:37,920
to exploring, like sex,
their sexuality?
1294
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:39,560
Hmm...
1295
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:43,960
I don't feel cool with it. Really?
No.
1296
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:44,880
I don't feel cool with it. Really?
No.
1297
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:46,920
Is that why you never talked
about sex in the house, then, ever?
1298
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,960
Is that why you never talked
about sex in the house, then, ever?
1299
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:49,200
Is that why you never talked
about sex in the house, then, ever?
1300
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,400
You know, the only thing I think
I can do
1301
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:53,080
You know, the only thing I think
I can do
1302
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,120
and I believe other parents
might talk about, you know,
1303
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,040
and I believe other parents
might talk about, you know,
1304
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,080
would be like, "Oh, if you do this,
you get pregnant.
1305
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,600
would be like, "Oh, if you do this,
you get pregnant.
1306
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,640
"If you do that, you get
pregnant", and all that.
1307
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:03,240
"If you do that, you get
pregnant", and all that.
1308
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:04,760
That's not sex education.
1309
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:06,800
That is literally fearmongering.
1310
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:07,120
That is literally fearmongering.
1311
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,160
What would you have me talking
about, then? I don't know.
1312
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,000
What would you have me talking
about, then? I don't know.
1313
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,040
Maybe the good things about sex.
1314
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:13,440
Maybe the good things about sex.
1315
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,000
Maybe what you should do.
1316
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,040
Oh, come on, Yewande. Oh, my God.
1317
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,080
Come on. Why?Come on, Yewande.
1318
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,640
Come on. Why?Come on, Yewande.
1319
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,360
Why? Why wouldn't you?
1320
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:25,240
Sex is...
1321
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,280
Yeah?It's something really special
and something really sacred
1322
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,320
Yeah?It's something really special
and something really sacred
1323
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:29,840
Yeah?It's something really special
and something really sacred
1324
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,880
that has to be done between husband
and wife. Only?
1325
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:33,720
that has to be done between husband
and wife. Only?
1326
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:34,720
Only.
1327
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,760
Do you think it's a good thing
to masturbate?
1328
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:39,000
Do you think it's a good thing
to masturbate?
1329
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,560
You...Yeah, would say yes.
1330
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,600
But then why didn't you say
that to me?
1331
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:46,080
But then why didn't you say
that to me?
1332
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,120
Why didn't you say that to anybody?
It's a personal thing.
1333
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:49,480
Why didn't you say that to anybody?
It's a personal thing.
1334
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,520
If you didn't ask the question,
why would I bring...
1335
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:51,920
If you didn't ask the question,
why would I bring...
1336
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:53,960
Yeah, but I'm never going to walk
into the kitchen or the sitting room
1337
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:54,720
Yeah, but I'm never going to walk
into the kitchen or the sitting room
1338
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,240
or anywhere and be like,
1339
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,280
"Oh, hey, hon, do you want
to talk about masturbation?"
1340
00:39:58,320 --> 00:39:59,920
"Oh, hey, hon, do you want
to talk about masturbation?"
1341
00:39:59,960 --> 00:40:01,960
Can I ask you a question?
What's the point of all this?
1342
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:02,280
Can I ask you a question?
What's the point of all this?
1343
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,320
I think it was important for me
to have a conversation with you
1344
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:05,120
I think it was important for me
to have a conversation with you
1345
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:06,640
because when I think about sex,
1346
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,040
I think about negative things.
1347
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,080
I think about just growing up,
1348
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:10,360
I think about just growing up,
1349
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,400
being constantly told to stay
away from sex.
1350
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:13,440
being constantly told to stay
away from sex.
1351
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:17,000
I think at this point now,
1352
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,040
I just have to put my hands up,
because I never did.
1353
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,080
I just have to put my hands up,
because I never did.
1354
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:21,360
I just have to put my hands up,
because I never did.
1355
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,680
You're making me feel guilty.
1356
00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:28,880
You're making me feel guilty.
1357
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,360
I don't know.
1358
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,400
Maybe you need to sit
with that guilt.
1359
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:33,960
Maybe you need to sit
with that guilt.
1360
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,160
I feel really drained.
1361
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,200
I think I was particularly
shocked
1362
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:45,520
I think I was particularly
shocked
1363
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,560
when I asked her, how does
she feel about masturbation?
1364
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:49,600
when I asked her, how does
she feel about masturbation?
1365
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:49,960
when I asked her, how does
she feel about masturbation?
1366
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,760
And then she said it was
a good thing.
1367
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,800
And then I just thought,
well, my whole entire life
1368
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,240
And then I just thought,
well, my whole entire life
1369
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,280
I thought it was like the worst
thing in the world.
1370
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:57,760
I thought it was like the worst
thing in the world.
1371
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,800
And I just... I think I was annoyed
at myself,
1372
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:01,400
And I just... I think I was annoyed
at myself,
1373
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,440
but also a little bit annoyed at her
1374
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,200
but also a little bit annoyed at her
1375
00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:07,240
for not quieting down the noise
in my head.
1376
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,280
for not quieting down the noise
in my head.
1377
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:10,360
for not quieting down the noise
in my head.
1378
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,480
But maybe that's something
I need to work on.
1379
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:13,880
But maybe that's something
I need to work on.
1380
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:15,200
Maybe.
1381
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,600
Ever since I was young,
I've been motivated
1382
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:22,960
Ever since I was young,
I've been motivated
1383
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,640
by the desire to succeed,
1384
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,680
intent on pleasing everyone
around me.
1385
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:27,240
intent on pleasing everyone
around me.
1386
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,280
It feels puzzling that the one thing
I want to do to please myself,
1387
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,040
It feels puzzling that the one thing
I want to do to please myself,
1388
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:32,320
I'm unable to achieve,
1389
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:34,360
and I'm running out of people
to turn to.
1390
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:34,920
and I'm running out of people
to turn to.
1391
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:37,440
Hi!
1392
00:41:38,720 --> 00:41:40,720
Nice to see you. Nice to see you.
What's been going on?
1393
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:41,520
Nice to see you. Nice to see you.
What's been going on?
1394
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,560
Last time I saw Claire, she told me
1395
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:43,840
Last time I saw Claire, she told me
1396
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:45,880
it was too early to give a diagnosis
of anorgasmia,
1397
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:47,200
it was too early to give a diagnosis
of anorgasmia,
1398
00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:49,240
and she gave me homework instead.
1399
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:49,680
and she gave me homework instead.
1400
00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:51,360
I did try and masturbate.
1401
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,400
The goal was to have an orgasm,
but I'm not there.
1402
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,040
The goal was to have an orgasm,
but I'm not there.
1403
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,280
So what does it feel like?
1404
00:41:58,320 --> 00:41:58,600
So what does it feel like?
1405
00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:01,160
Hands on my vagina.
1406
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,200
Totally emotionless?. Yeah.
1407
00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:03,840
Totally emotionless?. Yeah.
1408
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:05,880
Just thinking about,
"Why doesn't this feel good?"
1409
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:07,360
Just thinking about,
"Why doesn't this feel good?"
1410
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,520
OK.
And just changing tack a little bit,
1411
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:12,560
OK.
And just changing tack a little bit,
1412
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:13,480
OK.
And just changing tack a little bit,
1413
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,520
you ended up on Love Island...
I know.
1414
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,560
you ended up on Love Island...
I know.
1415
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:17,880
you ended up on Love Island...
I know.
1416
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:19,920
..whichis a very sexualised
programme.
1417
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:20,520
..whichis a very sexualised
programme.
1418
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:21,760
Mm-hmm.
1419
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,800
So how was that received
with family?
1420
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,840
So how was that received
with family?
1421
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:26,080
So how was that received
with family?
1422
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,080
My mum, she was fine with it,
1423
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:29,360
My mum, she was fine with it,
1424
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,400
but my dad hated every single
minute of it.
1425
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:32,960
but my dad hated every single
minute of it.
1426
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,680
Was it rebellious?
1427
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:36,080
Probably, in a way.
1428
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,440
How does that feel?
1429
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,120
Great.Liberating? Definitely.
1430
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:42,240
Great.Liberating? Definitely.
1431
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,280
At that point, you were working
in science?
1432
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,120
At that point, you were working
in science?
1433
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,080
Yeah, I was in biopharm.
1434
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,120
So is that doing
what was expected of you?
1435
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,600
So is that doing
what was expected of you?
1436
00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:55,360
Probably. Yeah.
1437
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,400
That seemed to just jerk
a bit of an emotion.
1438
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:58,720
That seemed to just jerk
a bit of an emotion.
1439
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:00,120
I don't know.
1440
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,160
I sometimes feel like I live two
different lives,
1441
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:03,840
I sometimes feel like I live two
different lives,
1442
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:05,880
and I don't know which one to pick.
1443
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:06,800
and I don't know which one to pick.
1444
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,840
I sense it's upsetting you
1445
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:10,160
I sense it's upsetting you
1446
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,200
to have felt you've let your
parents down.
1447
00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:14,160
to have felt you've let your
parents down.
1448
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,160
Yeah.
1449
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,360
Um...
1450
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:21,360
Yeah.
1451
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,440
Yeah, I think I lived my life
just...
1452
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,480
Yeah, I think I lived my life
just...
1453
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,040
Yeah, I think I lived my life
just...
1454
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,640
..doing everything that everyone
wanted.
1455
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:32,960
..doing everything that everyone
wanted.
1456
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,000
So it's difficult now
1457
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:36,680
So it's difficult now
1458
00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:38,720
when I'm doing things for myself
1459
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:40,760
when I'm doing things for myself
1460
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:41,040
when I'm doing things for myself
1461
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,080
and I feel
like I'm letting everyone else down.
1462
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:44,400
and I feel
like I'm letting everyone else down.
1463
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,440
But then I'm at an age now
1464
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:46,800
But then I'm at an age now
1465
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,080
where it's like
1466
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,120
I've got to stand up for myself
1467
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:50,520
I've got to stand up for myself
1468
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,440
and do what I want to do.
1469
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,480
And I think that's just hard.
1470
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:54,680
And I think that's just hard.
1471
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:57,880
Can you see how these emotions
1472
00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,080
Can you see how these emotions
1473
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,080
can be inhibiting you
1474
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:03,000
from being able to be
1475
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,040
the person you want to be
in a bedroom?
1476
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:06,360
the person you want to be
in a bedroom?
1477
00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:08,680
Yeah.
1478
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,200
I don't think this is hopeless.
1479
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:12,880
I don't think this is hopeless.
1480
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:14,600
I think that in time,
1481
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,640
that this is something that you will
achieve by yourself.
1482
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,680
that this is something that you will
achieve by yourself.
1483
00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:20,000
that this is something that you will
achieve by yourself.
1484
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,040
And I think we just keep
working on that.
1485
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:23,440
And I think we just keep
working on that.
1486
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:24,440
Yeah.
1487
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,480
She pinpointed my relationship
with my family.
1488
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:32,520
She pinpointed my relationship
with my family.
1489
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:32,760
She pinpointed my relationship
with my family.
1490
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:35,760
Yeah. I just didn't expect so much
emotion.
1491
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,800
Yeah. I just didn't expect so much
emotion.
1492
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:38,080
Yeah. I just didn't expect so much
emotion.
1493
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:39,000
Jesus.
1494
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,840
I've opened myself up physically
and emotionally
1495
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:46,920
I've opened myself up physically
and emotionally
1496
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,960
in a bid to unlock my potential
for sexual pleasure.
1497
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,000
in a bid to unlock my potential
for sexual pleasure.
1498
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,040
And I've learned the most
important gateway is my mind.
1499
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,080
And I've learned the most
important gateway is my mind.
1500
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:54,720
And I've learned the most
important gateway is my mind.
1501
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,440
I don't even know why I'm getting
so upset.
1502
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,800
I worked so hard at everything.
1503
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:02,240
I worked so hard at everything.
1504
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:05,760
And to be able just to let myself go
a little bit more, it's just...
1505
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:07,800
And to be able just to let myself go
a little bit more, it's just...
1506
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:09,840
And to be able just to let myself go
a little bit more, it's just...
1507
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:10,600
And to be able just to let myself go
a little bit more, it's just...
1508
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:14,560
..so challenging.
1509
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,080
As someone who used
to be so conservative,
1510
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:20,120
As someone who used
to be so conservative,
1511
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:20,640
As someone who used
to be so conservative,
1512
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:22,240
such a huge thing.
1513
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,440
And I'm happy I started it.
1514
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:26,680
And I'm happy I started it.
1515
00:45:26,720 --> 00:45:28,720
And... Yeah, I'm happy
I got through it.
1516
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:29,480
And... Yeah, I'm happy
I got through it.
1517
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:32,120
So, yeah.
1518
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,120
Three months trying to get
an orgasm.
1519
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,160
Three months trying to get
an orgasm.
1520
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:43,440
Three months trying to get
an orgasm.
1521
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:45,480
Three fucking months.
1522
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:45,720
Three fucking months.
1523
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:47,320
SEX TOYS BUZZ
1524
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,360
The first thing I'm going to do
is throw that wand away.
1525
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:49,800
The first thing I'm going to do
is throw that wand away.
1526
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:51,080
I fucking hate it.
1527
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,600
Might keep the other two,
just in case it is for me
1528
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:56,360
Might keep the other two,
just in case it is for me
1529
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:58,400
and I just didn't know how to use
it properly.
1530
00:45:58,440 --> 00:45:59,160
and I just didn't know how to use
it properly.
1531
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:00,720
Fingers crossed.
1532
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:02,760
And... Yeah.
1533
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:03,000
And... Yeah.
1534
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:03,880
BUZZING
1535
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,000
And that's the end of it.
So, bye.
1536
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:07,240
And that's the end of it.
So, bye.
1537
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,040
# A little smile on show
1538
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,080
# Fresh kicks,
a kiss to the mirror
1539
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:18,680
# Fresh kicks,
a kiss to the mirror
1540
00:46:18,720 --> 00:46:20,720
# You know, I'm looking pretty,
let's roll
1541
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:21,040
# You know, I'm looking pretty,
let's roll
1542
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:23,080
# Yeah, I wear, I wear my hat
real low
1543
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:24,600
# Yeah, I wear, I wear my hat
real low
1544
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:26,320
# A little smile on show
1545
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:28,360
# Fresh kicks,
one kiss to the mirror
1546
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:28,680
# Fresh kicks,
one kiss to the mirror
1547
00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:30,720
# I'm looking real pretty,
let's roll
1548
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:31,960
# I'm looking real pretty,
let's roll
1549
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,000
# I wear, I wear my hat real low
1550
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:34,240
# I wear, I wear my hat real low
1551
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,160
# A little smile on show
1552
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,200
# Fresh kicks,
a kiss to the mirror
1553
00:46:38,240 --> 00:46:38,640
# Fresh kicks,
a kiss to the mirror
1554
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,680
# You know, I'm looking pretty,
let's roll. #
1555
00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:41,160
# You know, I'm looking pretty,
let's roll. #
1556
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:41,880
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