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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,670 What's this? Metal detecting, are you? 2 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,630 Oh... 3 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:21,790 Pardon? 4 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,320 Metal detecting? 5 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,270 That's right. 6 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,150 Found anything? 7 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,310 Bits and bobs. 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,830 Oh, good luck. Maybe you'll strike gold. 9 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,040 Yes. See ya. 10 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,080 Hello. 11 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,440 Looking for treasure? 12 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:50,510 Something like that. 13 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:51,750 What have you found? 14 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,430 Oh, bits and pieces. 15 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:54,470 No gold? 16 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:55,670 Nope. 17 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:56,710 Well, fingers crossed. 18 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:58,280 Yeah. See ya. 19 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:02,990 All right. 20 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,470 This is a problem. It's a public footpath, there's bloody ramblers 21 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,070 coming by asking the same questions all the time. 22 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,400 Oh, here come some more. 23 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:17,030 Ah, metal detectors. We had a metal detector once, didn't we, Rosemary? 24 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,870 That's still in the garage. 25 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,470 Is that so? 26 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,950 - Have you found any gold? - Ah, Jesus. 27 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,790 - Pardon? - No, no, no gold. No, no. 28 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:28,990 - Fingers crossed. - Fingers crossed, yeah. 29 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:32,350 Tell me, how many more of you are coming through? 30 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,880 Of us? About 50 today, I think. 31 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,670 Call it a day? 32 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:45,960 Probably best. 33 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:00,550 ♪ Will you search through the lonely earth for me? 34 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:05,590 ♪ Climb through the briar and bramble 35 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,390 ♪ I'll be your treasure... ♪ 36 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,230 Mate, that was a good couple of hours. 37 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,390 Yeah. Were you getting good stuff? 38 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:15,070 Me, too... 39 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,190 .. bloody ramblers notwithstanding. 40 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,990 It's all Roman. Nothing spectacular, but five of these little bronzes. 41 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,950 And that's part of something, not sure what. 42 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,350 Same here. Roman grots. 43 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:27,840 Four or five of 'em. 44 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,710 How many times have we searched this field 45 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,950 and only now it starts throwing up its treasure? 46 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:38,590 Six weeks' time, this'll be solar panels as far as the eye can see. 47 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:40,520 Less than six weeks. 48 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,790 Doesn't exactly make your heart sing, does it? 49 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:47,030 Oh, well. Sic biscuitus deteriatum. 50 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:50,430 See University Challenge last night? 51 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,270 Yeah. 52 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:56,350 What three letter generic name is given to the bird family Paridae? 53 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,430 Bzz! 54 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,270 - Balliol, Potts. - Tit. 55 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,830 Tit is correct, yes. 56 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,590 - Classic. - Classic. 57 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,120 Hello there! 58 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaking of tits... 59 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,990 Heeeeeello there. 60 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,710 What are you doing here? 61 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,190 Oh, just... passing by. 62 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,830 You're always just passing by. 63 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,160 You must come miles out of your way to pass by. 64 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,350 It must seem like that, yes. 65 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:29,390 No, we haven't seen you since your amazing find, 66 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,670 your golden astel. 67 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,750 Wanted to congratulate you, actually. 68 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,190 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Really fantastic. 69 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,670 How's it feel? 70 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,910 What, to have a piece with my name underneath it in the British Museum? 71 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,520 Feels good. 72 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,710 I imagine it does. Well, congratulations. 73 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:51,790 Here's to you. 74 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,190 Mrs Robinson. 75 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:54,670 - Pardon? - Nothing. 76 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,030 Is that all you came to say? 77 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,870 That and to... 78 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,720 .. wave a white flag, so to speak. 79 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,430 Don't you think it's time we put our differences behind us? 80 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,350 Maybe pool resources? 81 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,750 What resources? 82 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,870 Well, our permissions. 83 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,310 We've got more than enough land to detect on and... 84 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,230 well, this farm here, it's... 85 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:19,750 far too big for just the two of you. 86 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,670 If you've got more than enough land, why do you want to come here? 87 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,670 - Well sometimes it's good... - Duh-duh-duh-duh. 88 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,200 I wasn't talking to you, Paul. 89 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,950 More choice. Different topography. 90 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,830 - You don't have any permissions, do you? - We do. 91 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,070 Oh, yeah. Where? 92 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,670 Well, I'm not going to tell you, am I? 93 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,270 Unless you agree to share. 94 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,880 Oh! Right. 95 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,630 We have some prime locations. 96 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,840 Oh, do you? 97 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,280 I know what you're doing. 98 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:55,470 What am I doing? 99 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:56,830 You're doing a Jimmy waffle-on. 100 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,510 No, I'm not. No, I've just got an itchy chin, that's all. 101 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,030 Ooh, yeah, I've got a bit of an itchy chin as well. 102 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,830 Tell us about these permissions. 103 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,390 And now you're both doing it. 104 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,480 You're both doing a Jimmy waffle-on. 105 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,030 Aren't they? 106 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,430 - Chinny reckon? Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 107 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,030 - Mm-hmm. - No, we're not. 108 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,350 No, we've both just got itchy chins, that's all. 109 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,480 Really? Pathetic. 110 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:21,880 Come on, Paul. 111 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,160 Spanners. 112 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,440 Kate, are you here? 113 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,590 Kate, can I have a word? 114 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:00,680 Just a minute! 115 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,470 Hello, Dad. Sorry, I'm running late again. 116 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,350 Now, Kate, we need to have a chat. 117 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,870 Dad, can we maybe take this down, this poster? 118 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,230 What, the tennis lady? Why? 119 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:16,990 Don't you think it's a bit tacky? 120 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,070 Tacky? No. 121 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:22,310 And a bit... well, degrading to women. 122 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,550 Kate, she's scratching her bottom. 123 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,040 Dad, she's got no knickers on. 124 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,830 Hasn't she? 125 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,160 I'm late. I'll talk to you later. 126 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,870 Oh, Dad? 127 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,030 - Mm? - I think there's a squirrel in the flat. 128 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,520 See ya. 129 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,760 Huh! 130 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:06,520 Haa! 131 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,960 Hoo-yoo! 132 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,320 Aargh! 133 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:41,950 Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ooh! 134 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,550 Ooh, bloody hell! 135 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,640 Ooh, bloody, bloody hell! 136 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,550 It was terrible. 137 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,390 I was going from room to room with a saucepan and a mop handle, 138 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,990 poking under furniture, shaking curtains. 139 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,550 It took me an hour and a half to search the flat. 140 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:58,630 And no squirrel? 141 00:07:58,680 --> 00:07:59,830 I didn't find one. 142 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,680 She was winding you up. 143 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:04,950 You think she was winding me up? 144 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,320 Sounds like a wind-up. 145 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:12,470 Well, that's what it's like -- chaos. 146 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,590 And she never makes a plan and sticks to it, 147 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:15,950 so I never know if she's in. 148 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,070 So where does that leave us 149 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,350 if you can't come and stay with me on my boat? 150 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,430 I know. I've been looking into remedies for seasickness. 151 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,160 So have I. I think you should try hypnotherapy. 152 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,790 I've always tried to steer clear of the mystical. 153 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,270 It's not mystical. 154 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,350 It is a bit mystical. 155 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:38,630 I mean, I'm not afraid of boats, it's the movement. 156 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,030 Hypnotists can't stop the boat from moving. 157 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,550 Well, maybe he CAN... in your head. 158 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,080 Let me get you an appointment. 159 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:53,470 Well... take a brave man to go poking around in here. 160 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,720 Who knows what might be unleashed? 161 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,480 I don't understand what we're doing here. 162 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,950 Tim, there's nothing down here. 163 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,560 Let's give it another hour. 164 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,750 Tim! 165 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,270 Tim, I think you better come and see this. 166 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,510 Where's this? 167 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:25,840 Just over here. 168 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:39,960 Amazing. 169 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,390 You see the flagstones protecting it? 170 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,630 It's as if it was preserved on purpose, a layer of sand 171 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:48,150 - and then these stones on top. - Do we know how far it extends? 172 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,270 Well, at least another four foot in that direction, 173 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,390 - but maybe even further. - Cover it up. 174 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,910 Huh? 175 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,160 Get a tarp or something. 176 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,280 Cover it up. 177 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:03,960 Hello! 178 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,190 Oh, back there. How are you? 179 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,880 Good to see you. 180 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,990 It's all there, Becks, it has to be. 181 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,540 I reckon the stones were put down deliberately to protect the mosaic. 182 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,920 I can see you. 183 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,750 I think the whole floor might be complete. 184 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,470 Honestly, I took off the edge stone, the mosaic was right there. 185 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,240 It's so beautiful, look. 186 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,270 Oh, weird. 187 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:01,550 What? 188 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,510 I took at least five photos, they're not here. 189 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,390 Are you sure you saved them? 190 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,910 Balls! Where are they? 191 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,750 Oh, it doesn't matter, I'll take some more when we lift the stones. 192 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,710 That's brilliant. Congratulations. 193 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,230 Thank you. And you know what? 194 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,710 I saw, at last, some enthusiasm in Tim. 195 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,110 Usually nothing stirs him, but he got quite emotional. 196 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,710 Well, good, it sounds like it's working out. 197 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:25,960 Yeah. Yeah, I think it's working out. 198 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,910 He can't make me do anything against my will? 199 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,470 You're always fully conscious, just in a very relaxed state. 200 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:41,430 So... he can't make me say anything I'll regret later? 201 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,200 No. 202 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,360 Nothing specific. I'm not hiding anything... 203 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,470 .. to my knowledge. 204 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:51,830 Just chill. 205 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:55,320 Yeah, I'm just saying, I don't want to blurt anything out. 206 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,550 Do people tend do blurt? 207 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,790 There's very little blurting. 208 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,560 Oh, good, good. 209 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:06,710 Mr Stater? 210 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:07,750 Yes. 211 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,150 Would you like to come through? 212 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,190 Why? 213 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,280 For your treatment. I'm Dr Hoffman. 214 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:17,230 Are you? Is she? 215 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,040 Yes, that's Dr Hoffman. 216 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,040 Oh, yeah, great. Good, yeah. 217 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,360 Let's go. 218 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,350 - Don't be nervous. - I'm not nervous. 219 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,640 Try to relax. 220 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,230 I want this to work. 221 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,360 Me, too. 222 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,910 That's it, just take a seat there and make yourself comfortable. 223 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,320 Oh... 224 00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:00,830 I was expecting, you know... hangings. 225 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,040 Hangings? 226 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:07,430 Tie-dyed wall hangings, wind chimes, smell of patchouli. 227 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,720 Oh, I see, like a mystic. 228 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,030 You're not going to have me doing Elvis, are you? 229 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:15,750 No, no, nothing like that. 230 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,230 Cos that's the thing, isn't it? 231 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,230 You know, someone says the word "fish and chips" 232 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,910 and I am compelled to sing and dance like Elvis. 233 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,000 I suppose so. 234 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,790 Could you do that? 235 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,670 I'm not a stage hypnotist, Mr Stater. Can I call you Lance? 236 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:32,790 Please do. 237 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,430 Great. So... 238 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:40,270 the only way this can work is if you are completely comfortable 239 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,920 and relaxed. 240 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:55,880 So, sit back. 241 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:02,390 Success depends on you being able to completely switch off, 242 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:06,110 trust my voice and let it carry you away. 243 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,950 I suppose it'd be difficult 244 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,040 if you had an annoying accent or a squeaky voice. 245 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,390 So try and put those sorts of thoughts 246 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,230 out of your mind for a while. 247 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,680 Try to empty your mind. 248 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,830 I will do exactly as you say. 249 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,070 Well done. 250 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:29,430 Just close your eyes and listen to the sound of my voice. 251 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,750 Listening. 252 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,760 You don't have to tell me you're listening, just listen. 253 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:38,550 Got it. 254 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,630 You don't have to say anything. 255 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,150 Oh, I thought you were waiting for a reply. 256 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,470 - No. - Cos you hesitated. 257 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:45,830 I might do a lot of hesitating, 258 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,980 but you don't need to say anything, or worry. 259 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,520 Just relax... and listen. 260 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:14,350 So I want you to imagine that you are lying on soft warm sand, 261 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,950 on a beach. 262 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:21,630 And it is a beautiful summer's day and the sun is on your face. 263 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:26,830 You've not got a care in the world, or anything to do. 264 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:32,070 You can just enjoy the sun all day. 265 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:38,070 Sorry, sorry, I'm very sensitive to the sun, I burn very easily. 266 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,390 I wouldn't just sunbathe. 267 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,270 Is carpet the same as sand? 268 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,080 Could I lie in my flat? 269 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:53,710 Yes. So you are lying on the carpet in your flat. 270 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,910 You are very comfortable and warm, just right. 271 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:02,710 And you can feel yourself sinking into the carpet, 272 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,710 sinking down through the carpet. 273 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,990 Down. Down. 274 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,910 And the carpet... 275 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,670 No, no, the problem is... 276 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:14,830 You live on the first floor? 277 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,070 I live on the first floor. 278 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:20,350 Exactly. So I'm sinking down now into Mrs Morris's flat. 279 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,630 She's going to be terrified. 280 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,630 This is why it works best on a beach, 281 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,830 because you can just keep on sinking. 282 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,270 Have you got one of those sunshades? 283 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,080 Maybe I could sit under one of those big umbrellas. 284 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,590 Yes, do that. 285 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,550 Right, here we go, back on the beach. 286 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,160 Carry on. 287 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,040 Carry on-ez vous. 288 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,710 You were very quick. 289 00:16:56,760 --> 00:17:00,270 I was out like a light. Yeah, like that, sparko. 290 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,350 Really? 291 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,990 Yeah. No. I feel different. 292 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,390 I feel like I don't suffer from seasickness any more. 293 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,070 Why did the doctor have her head in her hands? 294 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:13,480 Did she? Oh, I think she had a migraine coming on. 295 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,550 Can children get migraines? 296 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,790 She wasn't that young. 297 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,750 She didn't know who Uri Geller was. 298 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,470 Why were you talking about Uri Geller? 299 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:25,150 No, I was talking about fraudsters in general. Not her! 300 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,270 I was just saying that there must be some out there. 301 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:31,600 But, no, yeah, I think it's done some good. 302 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,590 What's this? 303 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,230 That's for being brave. 304 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:40,800 Aw, cheers. 305 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,510 Well, better get off to the scout hut. 306 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,230 Do you want to stay tomorrow night and see if it worked? 307 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,510 Yeah, go on, then. 308 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,230 We can get a takeaway. I'll treat you to fish and chips. 309 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,080 Thank you very much. 310 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:08,030 Very nice! House of Constantine, circa 224 to 330 AD. 311 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,510 That's what I said. 312 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:13,510 And this one is third century, possibly Claudius II. 313 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,070 I said that as well. 314 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,550 And all this out of the same field? 315 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,150 There's something good going on down there, Terry. 316 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,600 We're close, I can feel it. 317 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,200 What's Russell doing? Russell? 318 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,480 Russ! 319 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,230 Whatcha doin'? 320 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:32,630 I'm on my new app. 321 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:33,990 Your what? 322 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,390 It's my new app on my phone, it's a metal detecting app. 323 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,470 It's great. You can go on different historical sites to detect. 324 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,720 I'm currently on Hadrian's Wall. 325 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,390 Well, now I've seen everything. 326 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:50,280 Oh! Here we go. Good signal, 12.5. 327 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,400 It's deep. 328 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:11,320 Ah! Roman Centurion's helmet. Good condition. 329 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,280 I'm keeping it. 330 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,190 So, did Andy tell you who's been snooping around? 331 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,230 Who? 332 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,910 - Simon and Garfunkel. - What, the Antiquisearchers? 333 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,200 Didn't they change their name to something ridiculous? 334 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,240 The Dirt Sharks. 335 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:43,550 Right, well, there you go, then. It's decided. 336 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,190 We are no longer the Dirt Sharks. 337 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,270 What are we? 338 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,630 Terra Firma. 339 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:50,720 Yes. 340 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,990 But we're spelling Terra the proper Latin way, 341 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,830 not the way you want to spell it. 342 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,550 It's scarier my way. 343 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,670 Right then, new name, new start. 344 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,590 This year, I am determined, will be the year 345 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:07,350 we are finally accepted onto a proper organised rally. 346 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,270 And when we are, I want us to be prepared. 347 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,990 - I want to see the Dirt Sharks... - Terra Firma. 348 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:18,670 I want to see Terra Firma get the best finds in every category. 349 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,440 Gavin, what are you going to find? 350 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,310 James I, hammered groat. 351 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,630 Is it real? 352 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,910 I think so. I got it on eBay. 353 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,670 How deep will it be? 354 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:32,710 Four, five inches. 355 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:33,910 Reading? 356 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,870 53. A bit scratchy. 357 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,280 Nice. Michael? 358 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,310 Be realistic. 359 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:50,510 So I said, "If that turns out to be the case, 360 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:55,720 "I will change my name by deed poll to Belinda Carlisle." 361 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,310 What a wonderful story! 362 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,790 True as I'm sitting here now. 363 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:09,000 That restores your faith in humanity, doesn't it? 364 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,380 Another cup of tea, Belinda? 365 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:16,790 There she goes. 366 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:17,950 You know... 367 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,830 she has got the timing of Ken Dodd, that one. 368 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,600 I'll give you that one, Sheila. 369 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,400 We have a laugh, don't we, eh? 370 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,350 You idiot! 371 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,070 How can you get it so wrong? 372 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,550 I just thought... 373 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,430 What? What? 374 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,560 It doesn't matter. 375 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,510 Why don't you think before you open your mouth? 376 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:57,600 Knobhead. 377 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:06,240 Well, we've had a very busy week. 378 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,750 After a typically infuriating encounter with those two goons from the DMDC, 379 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:16,710 Paul and I decided to drop in on the landowner, 380 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,510 - see if we couldn't... - Butter him up. 381 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,920 Curry favour, I was going to say. 382 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,150 And the information he gave us was... 383 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,190 Weapons grade. 384 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,080 Can you stop interrupting, please? 385 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:36,390 Turns out the church farm has been acquired by a solar energy company. 386 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,830 They're due to start converting the land in just under five weeks. 387 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,750 So did he give you permission? 388 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,280 He didn't, no. 389 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:52,870 But Photon Harvest Solar Electricity did. Paul's idea. 390 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,590 Cut out the middleman, go straight to the top, 391 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,030 offer them a service they can't live without. 392 00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,390 What service? 393 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,990 Obstruction clearance, farm machinery, unexploded bombs. 394 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,030 That was my idea. 395 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,870 I just said it was your idea. 396 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:11,240 I gave you credit about two seconds ago, you don't have to repeat it. 397 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,190 Well, it was when I mentioned unexploded bombs, 398 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,150 and what happened to that idiot Terry Seymour 399 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,830 a couple of years ago, that their ears pricked right up. 400 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:27,630 And the permission, ladies and gentlemen, 401 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,270 - is... - Ours. 402 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,000 Oh, God! 403 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,990 Are you the metal detectors? 404 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,030 Are we THE metal detectors? 405 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,750 Bloke I spoke to on the phone? 406 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:49,910 No. 407 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,390 Oh, right, we got some. 408 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,590 Some what? 409 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:56,110 We got some metal detectors who can do all this, so we don't need you. 410 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,670 Sorry wait, what? 411 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:01,550 We've got five weeks until this farm's converted. 412 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,190 Five weeks till the panels go up. 413 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,110 We've acquired the land, we need someone to get rid of the obstructions. 414 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,590 What, and you've got your own detectorists to do it for you? 415 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,070 They're freelance. They wrote to us, we've employed them. 416 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:12,310 What are they called? 417 00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:15,110 A company called... Terra Firma. 418 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,510 Never heard of 'em. 419 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,310 And when are they showing up? 420 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,630 Well, I thought they were going to be here, 421 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,280 I was supposed to meet them. I thought you were them. 422 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,320 You are kidding me! 423 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:42,590 Are you the metal detectors? 424 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:47,070 Indeed we are. Terra Firma at your service, sir. 425 00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:49,590 And I can see from our friends' faces, 426 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,350 they've heard the good news. 427 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,350 It's a sneaky bloody trick. 428 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,790 Quite the opposite, in fact. 429 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,350 We've been through all the correct channels, 430 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,630 as can be proved with this paper trail. 431 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,710 We've been on this farm five years. 432 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,630 Can't you all do it? I don't care if they do it as well. 433 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,430 No, no, no, no, no, no. 434 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,350 You gave us the permission, as stated in this email. 435 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,830 We have the permission of the landowner. 436 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,030 Overruled, actually. 437 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,470 Oh, come on, there's only four of you and 300 acres. 438 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,230 Why can't you all work together? 439 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,110 We gave them a chance to share and they turned it down. 440 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,750 Why should we? We got here first. 441 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,110 We got here first. Why should we share it with you? 442 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,030 - You should share. - Shut up. - You shut up. 443 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,230 Jesus, it's like a school playground. 444 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:33,870 How old are you lot? 445 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,710 Look, we'll do it first come, first served. 446 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,110 Whoever gets here first gets the choice of their field. 447 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,310 Not fair. 448 00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:42,150 Oh, all right, well, you can all sling your hooks, I don't care! 449 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,110 Hang on, hang on, wait. I can go along with that. 450 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,320 First come, first served. 451 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,150 OK. 452 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,510 See, we don't have to behave like kids. 453 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,670 Yeah, but after we've chosen the field, 454 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:04,310 there is an invisible force field all the way around 455 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:06,030 and you cannot enter it. 456 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,630 What if we haven't got our detectors? 457 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,950 It's impenetrable -- impenetrable force field. 458 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,190 Right. Now shake hands. 459 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:13,470 No way. 460 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,000 Never. 461 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,790 Childish. 462 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,520 I know you are. What am I? 463 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,200 Huh? 464 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,190 Feeling any better? 465 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:43,720 I think so. 466 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,680 Did it all come up? 467 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,230 I saw some fish eating it. 468 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,560 Did you? 469 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:56,880 Yeah. 33401

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