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* MTV. *
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Are you still here?
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You need to get going.
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I can't get going.
I told you I don't feel well.
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00:00:28,780 --> 00:00:30,080
What's the matter now?
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00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:31,847
Oh, nothing, I just had
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explosive fucking diarrhea
all night
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00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:36,047
because you decided
to get us KFC for dinner.
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00:00:36,147 --> 00:00:38,247
You have KFC all the time.
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00:00:38,347 --> 00:00:40,680
Yeah, and I have
diarrhea all the time!
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00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:44,247
You're not staying home all day
and playing Baldur's Gate 3.
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00:00:44,347 --> 00:00:47,780
- Now let's go.
- Ugh!
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00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,313
Have a good day at school, sweetie.
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Fuck you, Mom!
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00:00:54,713 --> 00:00:55,980
This is bullshit.
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00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,213
How do you get your mom arrested
for child abuse?
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00:00:58,313 --> 00:01:00,547
She wouldn't let you stay home
and play Baldur's Gate 3,
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00:01:00,647 --> 00:01:01,880
huh, fat ass?
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00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:04,113
Who you callin' fat,
you heathen bitch?
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00:01:04,213 --> 00:01:06,247
Dude, you don't wanna
miss school today.
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00:01:06,347 --> 00:01:09,446
Clyde said he's gonna fart
on Tammy Mullins during P.E.
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00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,713
Tammy Mullins has
sweet fucking knockers.
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00:01:11,813 --> 00:01:14,380
Dude, Kenny,
enough about Tammy's knockers!
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00:01:14,547 --> 00:01:15,847
You sound like
a white male trying to
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00:01:15,947 --> 00:01:17,580
re-establish the patriarchy.
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00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:22,113
Eric, it's okay.
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00:01:22,213 --> 00:01:24,547
- It's okay.
- Mom! Mom!
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00:01:24,647 --> 00:01:25,947
I had a dream that…
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I was replaced
by a diverse woman!
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00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:29,380
Oh, not again.
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00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,713
Yeah, only this time,
it wasn't just me.
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They were taking all my favorite
people and replacing them
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with diverse women complaining
about the patriarchy.
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Will you check
under the bed and make sure
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00:01:38,047 --> 00:01:39,647
there's no Disney executives
under there?
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00:01:39,747 --> 00:01:42,213
- I promise there's not.
- I'm scared, Mom!
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00:01:42,313 --> 00:01:44,113
Will you please just look
and make sure Kathleen Kennedy
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isn't under my bed?
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00:01:46,547 --> 00:01:49,113
Kathleen Kennedy
is not under your bed.
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00:01:49,213 --> 00:01:50,517
Can you check the closet?
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00:01:50,547 --> 00:01:52,047
Eric, enough.
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00:01:52,147 --> 00:01:55,113
I've told you there's no such
thing as Disney executives
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who replace everyone you love
with diverse women
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00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,947
who complain
about the patriarchy.
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Now be a big boy.
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00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,180
It's-it's not real.
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It's… it's not real.
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Get up!
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Come on, Stan, get up.
Let's go.
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- What, Dad?
- Downstairs.
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00:02:27,346 --> 00:02:29,180
Let's go.
I'm sick of this shit.
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00:02:32,147 --> 00:02:33,412
Okay.
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00:02:33,547 --> 00:02:35,280
It has come to my attention
lately that
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00:02:35,379 --> 00:02:39,213
young people today
don't know how to do shit.
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00:02:39,313 --> 00:02:42,180
You got your phones and your AI
and you kids haven't
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00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,517
learned to be able
to actually do anything.
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00:02:44,547 --> 00:02:46,247
So we're going
to take this morning to
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00:02:46,346 --> 00:02:49,547
learn how to fix something.
You see this?
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00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:52,680
See this?
The oven door isn't working.
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00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:55,346
It's falling off the hinges.
So what do we do?
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00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:56,613
Shelley?
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00:02:57,613 --> 00:02:59,013
I don't know.
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00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,280
It's very simple.
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00:03:00,379 --> 00:03:02,047
You gotta
make the hinges tighter
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00:03:02,147 --> 00:03:03,613
so the oven door's more secure.
66
00:03:03,713 --> 00:03:07,013
So what you do is…
you take out your phone
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00:03:07,113 --> 00:03:09,680
and you call the handyman.
68
00:03:11,547 --> 00:03:12,780
Hello?
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00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,517
Hello. It's Randy Marsh.
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00:03:14,547 --> 00:03:18,247
My oven door is not working.
Please come fix it.
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00:03:18,346 --> 00:03:21,412
Now we rest
until the handyman comes.
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00:03:27,713 --> 00:03:30,247
Are you following this
at all, guys?
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00:03:30,346 --> 00:03:33,080
- Is this seeping in?
- Nope.
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00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,947
No, it looks like
the screws are totally stripped.
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00:03:36,047 --> 00:03:37,379
What does that mean?
What's wrong?
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00:03:37,547 --> 00:03:39,312
Can't get 'er fixed right now,
I gotta get
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00:03:39,412 --> 00:03:41,580
some different washers
at the Home Depot.
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00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,013
Okay, do that.
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00:03:43,113 --> 00:03:44,279
Can't do it right now,
I gotta get
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00:03:44,379 --> 00:03:46,080
over to Stephen Stotch's house
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00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,647
and install his closet shelves.
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00:03:47,747 --> 00:03:50,747
Okay, see, kids,
this happens sometimes
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00:03:50,847 --> 00:03:53,346
but handymen don't make a lot
of money, so here's what you do.
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00:03:53,446 --> 00:03:55,813
Oh, okay, I will pay you
an extra 30 bucks
85
00:03:55,913 --> 00:03:57,547
if you fix my oven now.
86
00:03:57,647 --> 00:04:01,013
Yeah, sorry, but Stotch already
gave me an extra 50 bucks.
87
00:04:01,113 --> 00:04:03,680
I will pay you
an extra 55 bucks.
88
00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:05,947
Randy, did you fix
the oven door yet?
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00:04:06,047 --> 00:04:07,913
I'm working on it!
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00:04:08,013 --> 00:04:09,246
Look, please.
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00:04:09,346 --> 00:04:10,847
Whatever you want.
I'll throw in a six-pack
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00:04:10,947 --> 00:04:12,379
of beer and you can get drunk.
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00:04:12,547 --> 00:04:14,446
I don't need your trivial
little perks anymore, Marsh.
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00:04:14,547 --> 00:04:17,517
I got work comin'
out my ears. It's like…
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00:04:17,547 --> 00:04:19,180
I don't know,
it's like nobody knows
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00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,180
how to do shit anymore.
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00:04:22,013 --> 00:04:23,947
You're…
You're just gonna leave?
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00:04:24,047 --> 00:04:26,113
I'll pay a different handyman.
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00:04:26,213 --> 00:04:27,412
Yeah, go for it, buddy,
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00:04:27,547 --> 00:04:29,880
I got so much money
I don't care.
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00:04:31,913 --> 00:04:33,647
What the hell is going on?
102
00:04:34,412 --> 00:04:37,980
All right, just try to relax.
Take a deep breath.
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00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:42,379
Now tell me exactly
what it is you're afraid of.
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00:04:42,547 --> 00:04:45,379
I keep having the same dream.
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00:04:45,547 --> 00:04:47,517
Everywhere I look,
people are being replaced.
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00:04:47,547 --> 00:04:51,113
Okay. And who do you think
is going to have you replaced?
107
00:04:51,212 --> 00:04:53,517
Them. The puppet masters.
108
00:04:53,547 --> 00:04:56,080
The last time I had the dream,
I was, I was walking
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00:04:56,180 --> 00:04:57,780
down the school hallway…
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00:05:00,547 --> 00:05:02,713
And then I see Butters,
and he's like…
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00:05:02,813 --> 00:05:03,947
Hey, Eric! You wanna see
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00:05:04,047 --> 00:05:05,279
what my mom packed me for lunch?
113
00:05:05,379 --> 00:05:06,813
And that's when
I start to notice
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00:05:06,913 --> 00:05:08,246
that something's wrong.
Everyone I cared about
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00:05:08,346 --> 00:05:09,747
has been
systematically replaced.
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00:05:09,847 --> 00:05:11,379
And finally I want to scream
and I'm like…
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00:05:11,547 --> 00:05:13,246
Why are they replacing
every single character
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00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,913
with someone who is diverse?
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00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:16,412
- But then Kenny's like…
- It's not
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00:05:16,547 --> 00:05:17,913
our fault, it's 'cause of
Kathleen Kennedy.
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00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,212
But then Kathleen Kennedy's
just like…
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00:05:19,312 --> 00:05:20,613
Fuck it! Make it more lame.
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00:05:20,713 --> 00:05:22,580
And everyone in town is like,
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00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,446
"No, please, Kathleen Kennedy,
stop ruining everything."
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00:05:24,547 --> 00:05:25,747
But Kathleen Kennedy
is all like…
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00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,279
Put another gay diverse
woman in it.
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00:05:27,379 --> 00:05:29,080
Make it more fucking lame.
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00:05:29,179 --> 00:05:31,212
And Disney stock just keeps
going down and down and down!
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00:05:31,312 --> 00:05:32,880
And then Bob Iger is all like…
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00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:35,146
No! No!
What's going on with my stocks?
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00:05:35,246 --> 00:05:36,613
No, Kathleen Kennedy!
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00:05:39,713 --> 00:05:42,013
Oh. It happened again,
didn't it?
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00:05:42,113 --> 00:05:45,246
Okay, Eric, I think I know
what's going on here.
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00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:48,913
Your fears aren't about Disney
replacing everything you love.
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00:05:49,013 --> 00:05:53,517
What everyone is afraid of these
days is being replaced by AI.
136
00:05:53,547 --> 00:05:55,047
- AI?
- But you don't need
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00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,647
to worry, Eric.
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00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:59,146
As long as you work hard
and stay in school,
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00:05:59,246 --> 00:06:00,847
you can make something
of yourself.
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00:06:00,947 --> 00:06:03,947
Become an elite worker like
I did that AI can't replace.
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00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:05,547
You're a therapist
and the best thing
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00:06:05,647 --> 00:06:06,847
you have to tell me is
"stay in school"?
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00:06:06,947 --> 00:06:09,580
You're in control
of your future, Eric.
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00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,517
You just need to ask yourself,
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00:06:11,547 --> 00:06:12,847
"Who will be the people
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00:06:12,947 --> 00:06:15,747
still making money
in the AI-driven future?"
147
00:06:18,547 --> 00:06:20,279
What the… What the fuck?
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00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,146
Could you hurry it up, please?
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00:06:27,246 --> 00:06:28,379
I kind of need to
get back to work.
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00:06:28,547 --> 00:06:29,680
Yep, well, looks like
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00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,446
you got a short
in the outlet there.
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00:06:31,547 --> 00:06:33,047
I'd have to get a new outlet
at Home Depot.
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00:06:33,146 --> 00:06:36,013
I can probably come
change it on the 28th.
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00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:37,980
28th? No, no, no, look.
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00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,279
I'll give a hundred bucks
to get this done today.
156
00:06:40,379 --> 00:06:42,580
I already got a feller
giving me thousands
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00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,517
to fix his toilet
this afternoon.
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00:06:44,547 --> 00:06:47,079
Thousands?
I can't afford that.
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00:06:47,179 --> 00:06:48,580
Free therapy sessions.
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00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,947
How about we trade?
You do the handiwork for me.
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00:06:51,047 --> 00:06:53,279
And I'll give you five
free therapy sessions!
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00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:54,813
Oh, no, thanks.
163
00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:59,547
I do all my therapy
on the AI Freudbot app.
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00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,747
This is
South Park Breaking News.
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00:07:05,847 --> 00:07:07,913
Shocking developments
in the country today,
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00:07:08,013 --> 00:07:10,980
it appears that nobody
knows how to do shit anymore.
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00:07:11,079 --> 00:07:13,680
Our own Chris Martins
is live on the scene.
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00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:16,346
Tom, I'm standing in
my bathroom where the new
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00:07:16,446 --> 00:07:19,046
tile for my shower
has yet to be installed.
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00:07:19,146 --> 00:07:22,146
As you can see, the tile has
started to peel off in places.
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00:07:22,246 --> 00:07:25,713
Now the handyman was supposed
to come days ago to fix it
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00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,146
but he claims to have
better offers
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00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:28,747
from other white-collar workers
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00:07:28,847 --> 00:07:32,013
like me whose practical
know-how has atrophied.
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00:07:32,112 --> 00:07:34,212
It appears
we've all screwed ourselves
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00:07:34,312 --> 00:07:37,547
by relying on technology and AI.
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00:07:41,713 --> 00:07:43,517
Hey, Siri,
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00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:46,212
how do you fix
a broken oven door?
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00:07:46,312 --> 00:07:49,246
Here's what I found
from reference.com.
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00:07:49,346 --> 00:07:52,517
Undo any screws that
hold the hinges in position,
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00:07:52,547 --> 00:07:54,647
pull the door upward
and then outwards
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00:07:54,747 --> 00:07:56,713
to detach hinges from the oven.
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00:07:56,813 --> 00:07:58,747
Insert the new hinge
into the hinge holes
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00:07:58,847 --> 00:08:01,680
and secure the hinges
with screws.
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00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:06,012
Hey, Siri, okay,
can you do that for me?
186
00:08:06,112 --> 00:08:07,813
Can I do what for you?
187
00:08:07,913 --> 00:08:10,112
Can you fix my oven door for me?
188
00:08:10,212 --> 00:08:11,847
It's broken.
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00:08:11,947 --> 00:08:15,647
I cannot do that
because I do not have arms.
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00:08:15,747 --> 00:08:17,780
You will need
to call a handyman.
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00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,212
The handyman isn't available.
192
00:08:20,312 --> 00:08:21,880
He's all, like, rich now
193
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:24,813
and I fucking rely on him to
keep everything working here!
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00:08:24,913 --> 00:08:27,580
I am unable to fix an oven door.
195
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,079
Oh, well, hey, Siri,
I thought AI was supposed to be
196
00:08:31,179 --> 00:08:34,780
this amazing scary advancement
that could, like, do anything.
197
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,680
Hey, Randy,
the oven door in the kitchen
198
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,613
- still isn't…
- I am working on it!
199
00:08:39,446 --> 00:08:42,046
Hey, Siri,
all the handymen are rich
200
00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:45,547
and I can't afford them anymore
so what do I do?
201
00:08:45,647 --> 00:08:48,046
Perhaps you could find
an unlicensed worker
202
00:08:48,146 --> 00:08:50,979
who does small day jobs
for cash.
203
00:08:51,079 --> 00:08:53,517
You mean like those
broke-ass illegal immigrants
204
00:08:53,547 --> 00:08:55,446
down at Home Depot?
205
00:08:55,547 --> 00:08:57,517
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have said it that way.
206
00:08:57,547 --> 00:08:59,680
Hey, Siri, you mean like those
207
00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:02,346
broke-ass illegal immigrants
down at Home Depot?
208
00:09:02,446 --> 00:09:05,279
Yes. There are often
people sitting out front
209
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,346
of Home Depot
waiting to be hired for work.
210
00:09:08,446 --> 00:09:10,946
Yeah. Those guys!
211
00:09:16,012 --> 00:09:17,613
Hey, Kenny, can we talk to you?
212
00:09:17,713 --> 00:09:19,079
Sure, guys, what's up?
213
00:09:19,179 --> 00:09:21,212
Well, Clyde says that you
told Tammy Mullins
214
00:09:21,312 --> 00:09:23,680
he was gonna fart on her in P.E.
so she didn't show up.
215
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,713
Yeah, I might have told her.
216
00:09:25,813 --> 00:09:27,379
Well, Kenny, everyone was really
looking forward to that.
217
00:09:27,547 --> 00:09:28,713
Why did you ruin it?
218
00:09:28,813 --> 00:09:30,279
I told you guys
I think Tammy Mullins
219
00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:33,179
has sweet fucking knockers.
You guys!
220
00:09:33,279 --> 00:09:36,346
You guys! Something super crazy
is happening, you guys.
221
00:09:36,446 --> 00:09:37,747
You went on a diet?
222
00:09:37,847 --> 00:09:39,379
This is serious, Kyle!
223
00:09:39,547 --> 00:09:40,880
At first they were just dreams,
224
00:09:40,979 --> 00:09:43,112
but now I feel like
I'm actually changing.
225
00:09:43,212 --> 00:09:45,813
Why would I be having visions
that I'm a diverse woman?
226
00:09:45,912 --> 00:09:47,813
Because you're a fat,
racist piece of shit.
227
00:09:47,912 --> 00:09:50,212
Goddamn it, I'm not fat.
I'm just shamed for my body
228
00:09:50,312 --> 00:09:51,979
in a world where white men
decide what's beautiful.
229
00:09:52,079 --> 00:09:54,346
What the fuck was that?!
230
00:09:54,446 --> 00:09:57,412
Why would I say that?
I don't say that. You see?!
231
00:09:57,547 --> 00:09:59,813
This is happening
to all of us, you guys.
232
00:09:59,912 --> 00:10:01,580
You might think
everything is okay.
233
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,346
But Disney… is gonna get ya.
234
00:10:04,446 --> 00:10:06,112
Kathleen Kennedy's
gonna get ya.
235
00:10:06,212 --> 00:10:08,946
Disney and Kathleen Kennedy
are gonna get ya!
236
00:10:10,847 --> 00:10:13,412
I don't think that what
I'm experiencing are dreams.
237
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,379
I think that what
I'm seeing are windows…
238
00:10:15,479 --> 00:10:17,547
into alternate universes.
239
00:10:17,647 --> 00:10:19,112
Yeah, okay, I'm out.
240
00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:21,112
It's true, Kyle, there could be
241
00:10:21,212 --> 00:10:22,847
other universes
with other versions of…
242
00:10:22,946 --> 00:10:24,647
Everyone's sick of
the stupid multiverse, Cartman.
243
00:10:24,747 --> 00:10:26,713
It's not stupid,
it's totally possible
244
00:10:26,813 --> 00:10:28,312
and if you can't…
245
00:10:28,412 --> 00:10:29,912
Kyle? Kyle?
246
00:10:30,012 --> 00:10:31,946
I swear, the multiverse is
just an excuse for lazy writing.
247
00:10:32,046 --> 00:10:34,012
- Whoa. Kyle!
- Yeah, it's like every damn movie now.
248
00:10:34,112 --> 00:10:35,312
Kyle, what is this?
249
00:10:35,412 --> 00:10:37,412
Uh, you might
wanna listen to him, Kyle!
250
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,179
Kyle, you gotta help me!
251
00:10:39,279 --> 00:10:40,279
Help me, Kyle!
252
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:58,613
Hey!
253
00:10:58,713 --> 00:11:00,012
Hey, I need a worker!
254
00:11:00,112 --> 00:11:02,079
- Is that a handyman?
- There's one!
255
00:11:02,179 --> 00:11:03,580
Hey, you wanna trade?
256
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:04,946
What the fuck?
257
00:11:05,046 --> 00:11:06,912
Randy! You know how
to do stuff, right?
258
00:11:07,012 --> 00:11:08,179
I gotta get the radiant heat
259
00:11:08,279 --> 00:11:09,680
installed in my house
and I'm offering
260
00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:11,517
free legal advice in exchange.
261
00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:13,112
You need a reporter?
262
00:11:13,212 --> 00:11:15,547
I'll report the news to you
if you fix my shower tile!
263
00:11:15,647 --> 00:11:17,912
How about a computer programmer?
I can do coding!
264
00:11:18,012 --> 00:11:19,647
Insurance broker?
Insurance broker?
265
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,279
What the hell are
you guys doing here?
266
00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:23,613
We're trying to get
a handyman to do stuff for us.
267
00:11:23,713 --> 00:11:25,747
You know how to
install radiant heat or not?
268
00:11:25,846 --> 00:11:29,379
No, I need some broke-ass
immigrants to fix my oven door.
269
00:11:29,547 --> 00:11:30,846
Dang it.
270
00:11:30,946 --> 00:11:33,146
Hey! Here comes
a different handyman!
271
00:11:34,412 --> 00:11:38,279
Hey, anyone wanna
make a bunch of money?
272
00:11:38,379 --> 00:11:41,346
I need four workers who know
how to use a power saw.
273
00:11:42,279 --> 00:11:44,979
I'll do lawyer work if
you install my radiant heat!
274
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,812
I've got skills
in human resources.
275
00:11:46,912 --> 00:11:48,212
Let's work something out!
276
00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:51,779
No, I need guys that know
how to work a power saw.
277
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:57,146
None of you know how to
work a power saw? Jesus Christ.
278
00:11:59,879 --> 00:12:02,146
What universe is this?
279
00:12:12,179 --> 00:12:14,846
Yo, Kenny, we gotta
ask you something.
280
00:12:14,946 --> 00:12:17,713
Are you, like,
in love with Tammy Mullins?
281
00:12:17,812 --> 00:12:20,312
I'm not in love with her,
I just like her knockers.
282
00:12:20,412 --> 00:12:22,779
Okay, well, why would you
protect someone from getting
283
00:12:22,879 --> 00:12:25,517
farted on unless there
were some real feelings there?
284
00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:27,680
Dude, I said I was sorry, okay?
285
00:12:27,779 --> 00:12:29,212
You guys! You guys!
286
00:12:29,312 --> 00:12:32,246
Something really weird
is going on!
287
00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:35,112
I keep having the same dream
that I'm a fat little white boy.
288
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,846
You ain't white,
but you definitely fat.
289
00:12:37,946 --> 00:12:39,412
This is serious, Kyle!
290
00:12:39,547 --> 00:12:42,647
It's more than a dream,
it's becoming like real now!
291
00:12:42,746 --> 00:12:44,146
I keep seeing all of you!
292
00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,212
Being replaced by
little white motherfuckers!
293
00:12:46,312 --> 00:12:48,879
Well, maybe you should try
not being so racist, Cartman.
294
00:12:48,979 --> 00:12:51,112
You can't be racist
towards white people, Stan!
295
00:12:51,212 --> 00:12:54,346
They all honky-ass bitches!
You know what this is?
296
00:12:54,446 --> 00:12:57,346
I think this is some
alternate universe shit.
297
00:12:58,179 --> 00:13:00,212
Yeah, right, you just
acting crazy 'cause you wanna
298
00:13:00,312 --> 00:13:03,079
- get sent home from school.
- No, I'm not, Kyle!
299
00:13:03,179 --> 00:13:04,879
Yeah, bitch, you just
wanna get sent home
300
00:13:04,979 --> 00:13:07,079
so you can play Baldur's Gate 3.
301
00:13:14,912 --> 00:13:17,279
What the fuck?
302
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,179
Oh, my God, it's all real!
303
00:13:19,279 --> 00:13:22,246
Whatever you're doing,
Cartman, we ain't buyin' it.
304
00:13:22,346 --> 00:13:25,079
Stay away from me! You aren't
my friends! Do you understand?
305
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,547
Is that supposed to be Cartman?
306
00:13:27,647 --> 00:13:29,246
It ain't Cartman
but it's still fat.
307
00:13:29,346 --> 00:13:31,112
Just more like
little round and fat.
308
00:13:31,212 --> 00:13:33,146
Yeah, like Tammy Mullins'
knockers.
309
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,446
Kenny! Brah.
310
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,613
Chill with the knockers. Man!
311
00:13:36,712 --> 00:13:38,946
No…
312
00:13:39,046 --> 00:13:41,312
No…!
313
00:13:45,079 --> 00:13:47,112
Okay, so Clyde says he
can probably try to fart
314
00:13:47,212 --> 00:13:48,879
on Tammy Mullins again
during fourth period.
315
00:13:48,979 --> 00:13:50,812
But this time Kenny
has to keep his mouth shut.
316
00:13:50,912 --> 00:13:53,012
It's fine!
I won't say anything, fine!
317
00:13:53,112 --> 00:13:55,179
He's gonna say something,
he's totally in love with her.
318
00:13:55,279 --> 00:13:58,246
- No, I'm not!
- You guys! You guys!
319
00:13:58,346 --> 00:14:00,517
Holy shit, you guys,
I fuckin' told you!
320
00:14:00,547 --> 00:14:03,212
I fuckin' told you this
was happening, didn't I?
321
00:14:04,179 --> 00:14:05,312
Told us what was happening?
322
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,012
I told you I was having
all these dreams
323
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,547
that I was a fat
little white boy
324
00:14:08,646 --> 00:14:10,517
and you guys were all
white boys too and now look!
325
00:14:10,547 --> 00:14:12,246
Y'all actually turned into 'em!
326
00:14:13,046 --> 00:14:15,346
- Do we know you?
- I'm Cartman.
327
00:14:15,446 --> 00:14:18,246
And you're Kyle and you're Stan
and you're fucking Kenny.
328
00:14:18,346 --> 00:14:20,079
Only it's a parallel,
alternated universe
329
00:14:20,179 --> 00:14:21,517
and y'all have been replaced.
330
00:14:21,547 --> 00:14:23,646
Uh, okay, cool lady.
331
00:14:23,746 --> 00:14:25,412
We gotta get to class.
332
00:14:25,547 --> 00:14:27,046
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
333
00:14:27,146 --> 00:14:28,779
You guys are gonna
listen to me this time!
334
00:14:28,879 --> 00:14:30,746
I need help!
335
00:14:30,846 --> 00:14:32,679
Cartman's just messing with us.
336
00:14:32,779 --> 00:14:33,912
Fuck you, Kyle!
337
00:14:34,012 --> 00:14:35,446
This is serious,
you fuckin' butt-fucker!
338
00:14:35,547 --> 00:14:38,312
Yeah, listen, lady,
we really gotta get going.
339
00:14:38,412 --> 00:14:41,517
Will you guys fucking
listen to me?! I'm Cartman!
340
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,547
You're not Cartman and
multiple universes are stupid.
341
00:14:44,646 --> 00:14:47,046
Oh, goddamn it!
342
00:14:48,979 --> 00:14:51,279
Tom, I'm still here
live at the scene.
343
00:14:51,379 --> 00:14:53,979
Dozens of white-collar workers
are gathered hoping
344
00:14:54,079 --> 00:14:56,779
to get the attention of
just one handyman.
345
00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:59,346
It's a scene
of desperation and a reminder
346
00:14:59,446 --> 00:15:02,279
of where our
country's economy is headed.
347
00:15:04,879 --> 00:15:08,279
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
348
00:15:09,612 --> 00:15:12,112
Hey, hey! Excuse me,
you're a handyman, right?
349
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,646
Can I get you to come look
at my oven door?
350
00:15:14,746 --> 00:15:16,279
I can trade you services.
351
00:15:16,379 --> 00:15:19,679
I have geology skills.
Could you come fix my door
352
00:15:19,779 --> 00:15:21,412
and I'll give you some geology?
353
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:24,517
Hey, why don't you guys
get outta here?
354
00:15:24,547 --> 00:15:27,812
You're making the Home Depot
look all shitty.
355
00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:31,679
Fuckin' rich assholes.
356
00:15:31,779 --> 00:15:33,379
Ugh, sucks.
357
00:15:33,546 --> 00:15:34,546
Aw, man.
358
00:15:34,646 --> 00:15:36,979
Boy, I wish
I knew how to fix stuff.
359
00:15:37,079 --> 00:15:38,179
I'd be rich, too.
360
00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:40,446
I could know how to fix stuff!
361
00:15:40,546 --> 00:15:42,446
The problem is
when I could have been learning
362
00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:45,712
how to fix stuff, I went
to fucking college instead!
363
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,146
Hey, yeah, he's right.
364
00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:49,846
We all went to college,
and where did it get us?
365
00:15:49,946 --> 00:15:52,246
Yeah, I'm still paying off
my college loans.
366
00:15:52,346 --> 00:15:55,246
Yeah, so am I! Now I don't
know how to do anything
367
00:15:55,346 --> 00:15:58,012
'cause I got suckered into going
to college and learning stupid
368
00:15:58,112 --> 00:16:01,146
geology that anyone can know
'cause of goddamn AI!
369
00:16:01,246 --> 00:16:02,446
Yeah, fuck college!
370
00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,112
Let's go
get our fucking money back!
371
00:16:04,212 --> 00:16:06,412
- Yeah!
- Yeah! Fuck college!
372
00:16:06,546 --> 00:16:08,379
Come on, let's go!
373
00:16:12,079 --> 00:16:14,412
- Stupid college!
- You wasted our time!
374
00:16:14,546 --> 00:16:17,646
- Fuck you, college!
- Piece of shit college!
375
00:16:17,746 --> 00:16:19,146
Hey-hey, college!
376
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,579
You know what you are?!
You're a scam!
377
00:16:21,679 --> 00:16:22,846
College is a scam!
378
00:16:22,946 --> 00:16:24,846
Yeah!
379
00:16:24,946 --> 00:16:26,112
Yeah, that's right!
380
00:16:26,212 --> 00:16:27,246
Yeah, hey, college!
381
00:16:27,346 --> 00:16:28,879
Here's my student loan bill.
382
00:16:28,979 --> 00:16:30,812
That I'm still paying off!
383
00:16:30,912 --> 00:16:33,279
Well, guess what,
I'm not paying it!
384
00:16:34,046 --> 00:16:36,146
- Yeah!
- We don't owe you nothing!
385
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:38,012
Guess what, college?!
386
00:16:38,112 --> 00:16:41,516
We don't owe you money,
you owe us money!
387
00:16:41,546 --> 00:16:42,779
Yeah!
388
00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:45,846
Yeah, that's right!
389
00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:48,712
You think you can
just sit there and not even
390
00:16:48,812 --> 00:16:51,379
respond to us, college?
Okay!
391
00:16:51,546 --> 00:16:54,112
You aren't going to destroy
any more lives!
392
00:16:54,212 --> 00:16:55,846
All right, bring in
the catapult.
393
00:16:55,946 --> 00:16:57,516
Bring in the catapult!
394
00:16:57,546 --> 00:16:58,546
Yeah!
395
00:16:58,646 --> 00:16:59,912
Yeah, that's right!
396
00:17:05,279 --> 00:17:08,546
- What's that?
- That's the catapult.
397
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,412
Well, but it's still in the box.
398
00:17:11,546 --> 00:17:13,912
Yeah, somebody's
gotta put it together.
399
00:17:14,012 --> 00:17:15,779
Well, how are we gonna…
400
00:17:15,879 --> 00:17:17,179
Hang on, college!
401
00:17:17,279 --> 00:17:18,516
How're we gonna
break the college if
402
00:17:18,546 --> 00:17:20,112
the catapult is still
in the box?
403
00:17:20,212 --> 00:17:21,746
It's okay,
we called the handyman.
404
00:17:21,846 --> 00:17:23,946
He's gonna build it for us.
405
00:17:29,779 --> 00:17:32,646
Hello, gentlemen, what
seems to be the problem?
406
00:17:32,746 --> 00:17:34,312
Oh! Oh!
407
00:17:34,412 --> 00:17:36,112
You said
you couldn't work today.
408
00:17:36,212 --> 00:17:38,046
You're supposed
to fix my oven door!
409
00:17:38,146 --> 00:17:39,812
I've got a lot of jobs there, buddy.
410
00:17:39,912 --> 00:17:41,212
This one paid the most today.
411
00:17:41,312 --> 00:17:43,746
We all pooled together
and offered him $20,000.
412
00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:45,412
$20,000?
413
00:17:45,546 --> 00:17:47,079
What the fuck
are you guys doing?!
414
00:17:47,179 --> 00:17:49,579
You're gonna make him
totally impossible now!
415
00:17:51,979 --> 00:17:54,279
All right, send Broflovski,
Marsh and McKormick
416
00:17:54,379 --> 00:17:56,411
into my office, please.
417
00:17:57,612 --> 00:17:58,746
Aw, what the hell?
418
00:17:58,846 --> 00:18:00,279
Sit down, boys.
One of our students here
419
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,846
says you've been
treating them unfairly.
420
00:18:01,946 --> 00:18:04,846
- Treating who unfairly?
- We didn't do anything!
421
00:18:04,946 --> 00:18:06,516
We're just minding
our own business
422
00:18:06,546 --> 00:18:08,246
and she keeps saying
she's Eric Cartman!
423
00:18:09,279 --> 00:18:11,379
Okay. And what's
wrong with that?
424
00:18:13,112 --> 00:18:15,516
What's wrong is it
doesn't make any sense.
425
00:18:15,546 --> 00:18:17,079
Okay, I see.
426
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,746
There's a diverse female
where Cartman used to be
427
00:18:18,846 --> 00:18:20,046
and you don't like that.
428
00:18:20,146 --> 00:18:22,146
It's not that we
don't like it, it's…
429
00:18:22,246 --> 00:18:23,445
don't you think that's weird?
430
00:18:23,546 --> 00:18:25,246
I don't see
a problem with it at all.
431
00:18:25,346 --> 00:18:27,046
And if you boys don't think
Eric can be a Black woman,
432
00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:29,212
then maybe the problem is you.
433
00:18:30,546 --> 00:18:31,516
What?
434
00:18:31,546 --> 00:18:32,679
You think it's perfectly normal
435
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,445
that Cartman
is suddenly a Black woman?
436
00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:35,879
You probably don't like
that Indiana Jones got replaced
437
00:18:35,979 --> 00:18:37,516
by a female either, huh?
438
00:18:37,546 --> 00:18:39,679
You probably have a problem
with Black Spider-Man, too.
439
00:18:39,779 --> 00:18:41,378
No! Miles Morales is sweet.
440
00:18:41,546 --> 00:18:42,679
That's a whole constructed thing
441
00:18:42,779 --> 00:18:44,279
with its own character
and narrative!
442
00:18:44,378 --> 00:18:47,378
This is just taking Cartman,
same old Cartman,
443
00:18:47,546 --> 00:18:49,279
and putting a Black woman in it.
444
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,411
Well, you know what I think
about that, Kyle?
445
00:18:51,546 --> 00:18:52,679
Hold on. Hold on.
446
00:18:54,246 --> 00:18:55,779
That's what I think
about that, Kyle!
447
00:18:55,879 --> 00:18:57,112
Goddamn it, Cartman!
448
00:18:57,212 --> 00:18:58,812
Dude, what the fuck
is going on?!
449
00:18:58,912 --> 00:19:00,612
I'll tell you what's going on.
450
00:19:00,712 --> 00:19:02,516
You boys feel that your white
culture is being threatened
451
00:19:02,546 --> 00:19:04,279
and so you're
lashing out with racism.
452
00:19:04,378 --> 00:19:06,146
And if you
say anything more about
453
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,846
a Black woman Cartman
not making any sense,
454
00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:09,846
then you can all just have
three weeks' detention!
455
00:19:09,946 --> 00:19:11,279
Now get out of my office!
456
00:19:11,378 --> 00:19:13,046
Goddamn it!
457
00:19:13,146 --> 00:19:14,912
Fuck you, Kyle.
You have to help me!
458
00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:16,979
How's that fart feeling
on your face right now?
459
00:19:17,079 --> 00:19:18,345
Shut up!
460
00:19:18,445 --> 00:19:21,546
Na-na-na-na-na.
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
461
00:19:30,846 --> 00:19:33,546
And we both told Clyde,
"Okay, you can try to fart
462
00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:35,516
on Tammy Mullins later.
Kenny won't tell her."
463
00:19:35,546 --> 00:19:38,345
And guess what? This little
motherfucker does it again!
464
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,779
I'm sorry.
She hypnotized me.
465
00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:42,516
Everyone's trying
to enjoy themselves, dude.
466
00:19:42,546 --> 00:19:44,516
Why do you keep fucking it up?
467
00:19:44,546 --> 00:19:46,311
Hey, who's the fat
little white boy?
468
00:19:46,411 --> 00:19:48,411
Who knows?
White heterosexual males
469
00:19:48,546 --> 00:19:50,112
think they're welcome anywhere.
470
00:19:53,146 --> 00:19:55,712
Okay, children,
let's take our seats.
471
00:19:55,812 --> 00:19:58,779
Today we're going to
talk more about female exclusion
472
00:19:58,879 --> 00:20:00,345
in the male patriarchy.
473
00:20:02,246 --> 00:20:05,246
Uh, Butters,
who is that sitting next to you?
474
00:20:05,345 --> 00:20:06,478
Oh, I don't know, ma'am.
475
00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:08,679
I think it's
supposed to be Eric.
476
00:20:08,779 --> 00:20:10,278
I am Eric!
477
00:20:10,378 --> 00:20:12,512
All Cartman cares about
is playing Baldur's Gate 3.
478
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,712
So the bitch did a switcheroo
with Spanky here.
479
00:20:14,812 --> 00:20:16,345
That is not what's going on!
480
00:20:16,445 --> 00:20:18,612
And I am not going to sit here
and be insulted anymore!
481
00:20:18,712 --> 00:20:20,345
I am a respected citizen
in my universe
482
00:20:20,445 --> 00:20:22,679
and I demand to speak to
someone with authority!
483
00:20:22,779 --> 00:20:26,278
Is there a problem here?
484
00:20:27,546 --> 00:20:30,378
No!
485
00:20:35,179 --> 00:20:36,612
Eight years.
486
00:20:36,712 --> 00:20:39,612
Eight years I spent
wasting time at stupid college
487
00:20:39,712 --> 00:20:41,679
when I could have been
learning how to do stuff.
488
00:20:41,779 --> 00:20:45,079
All the time we spent
memorizing, studying… for what?
489
00:20:45,179 --> 00:20:48,512
Anyone gets any info they want
with the touch of a button now.
490
00:20:48,612 --> 00:20:51,112
All right,
I think she's ready to go.
491
00:20:51,212 --> 00:20:53,212
It's ready! It's ready!
492
00:20:53,311 --> 00:20:56,146
Okay, okay, aim it
at the center of the school.
493
00:20:56,245 --> 00:20:57,646
How do we fire it?
494
00:20:57,746 --> 00:20:59,746
There's a big red button here.
Should I press it?
495
00:20:59,846 --> 00:21:01,646
Yeah, yeah, let 'er rip!
496
00:21:08,579 --> 00:21:10,445
Yeah! Yeah!
497
00:21:10,546 --> 00:21:13,012
Yeah, take that, college!
498
00:21:13,112 --> 00:21:14,746
Let's see them ignore that!
499
00:21:14,846 --> 00:21:17,112
I can't wait
to see what they do now.
500
00:21:17,211 --> 00:21:19,211
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
501
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,779
Hey-hey, wait, what's that?
502
00:21:26,311 --> 00:21:28,812
Hey! Hey, no,
you son of a bitch!
503
00:21:30,278 --> 00:21:32,746
He's just gonna fix the glass!
504
00:21:32,846 --> 00:21:34,211
Ugh!
505
00:21:34,311 --> 00:21:35,546
You fucking give these
billionaires your money
506
00:21:35,646 --> 00:21:37,079
and then another billionaire
just comes
507
00:21:37,179 --> 00:21:38,846
and profits off of that.
508
00:21:38,946 --> 00:21:41,245
Society is so fucked up!
509
00:21:48,079 --> 00:21:50,378
Something is
wrong with the universe.
510
00:21:50,546 --> 00:21:52,178
Our stocks are down
and every Disney movie
511
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:53,846
this year has failed!
512
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:55,516
We don't understand it, sir.
513
00:21:55,546 --> 00:21:57,746
We keep making
the same movie over and over
514
00:21:57,846 --> 00:22:00,946
and pandering to everyone
but suddenly it's not working.
515
00:22:01,046 --> 00:22:03,378
Then we've got to pander harder!
516
00:22:03,546 --> 00:22:05,746
Look, I don't want
to have to say it, but…
517
00:22:05,846 --> 00:22:08,746
I think the problem is
Kathleen Kennedy.
518
00:22:10,178 --> 00:22:12,946
Kathleen Kennedy has
made studios a lot of money.
519
00:22:13,046 --> 00:22:16,546
Yes, before. But you have
to admit something's changed.
520
00:22:16,646 --> 00:22:19,112
For weeks now she's been
completely different.
521
00:22:19,211 --> 00:22:21,612
- It's true.
- What if…
522
00:22:21,712 --> 00:22:24,546
this is a different
Kathleen Kennedy?
523
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:27,378
What are you saying, Rick?
524
00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:29,378
I'm just saying
isn't it possible
525
00:22:29,546 --> 00:22:32,046
that we here
at Disney pandered so much…
526
00:22:32,145 --> 00:22:35,546
that we've opened a doorway
to the panderverse.
527
00:22:36,345 --> 00:22:38,046
The panderverse
is just a theory!
528
00:22:38,145 --> 00:22:41,145
And yet we do have
the panderstone downstairs.
529
00:22:41,245 --> 00:22:44,579
It's possible that someone
has tampered with it somehow.
530
00:22:44,679 --> 00:22:46,516
Well, she's on her way in
right now.
531
00:22:46,546 --> 00:22:48,646
If you wanna tell
Kathleen Kennedy you think
532
00:22:48,746 --> 00:22:50,311
she's from
an alternate universe,
533
00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:53,345
because we misused
the panderstone, go right ahead!
534
00:23:02,378 --> 00:23:04,278
Is there a problem, people?
535
00:23:06,046 --> 00:23:07,579
No problem at all, Mrs. Kennedy.
536
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,516
We were just discussing ideas
537
00:23:09,546 --> 00:23:11,378
of what to do with
the new Prince Eric movie.
538
00:23:11,546 --> 00:23:13,546
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
539
00:23:13,646 --> 00:23:18,046
Uh, yes, Mrs. Kennedy,
uh, some of the execs are just
540
00:23:18,145 --> 00:23:20,746
- expressing that maybe…
- Well, that maybe we should go
541
00:23:20,846 --> 00:23:23,211
a different route than we did
with Indiana Jones.
542
00:23:23,311 --> 00:23:24,579
Fuck Indiana Jones!
543
00:23:24,679 --> 00:23:26,779
Put a chick in it
and make her lame and gay!
544
00:23:28,746 --> 00:23:29,879
Sure. Yeah.
545
00:23:29,979 --> 00:23:32,779
Let's try that… again.
546
00:23:39,879 --> 00:23:42,516
And then… and then there was,
like, this ball
547
00:23:42,546 --> 00:23:44,046
and then Eric floated up
548
00:23:44,145 --> 00:23:45,679
into this portal
and disappeared!
549
00:23:45,779 --> 00:23:47,311
I don't care
what you saw, Butters,
550
00:23:47,411 --> 00:23:48,546
there's gotta be
a better explanation
551
00:23:48,646 --> 00:23:50,445
than just the stupid multiverse.
552
00:23:50,546 --> 00:23:52,145
Some multiverse stuff is cool.
553
00:23:52,245 --> 00:23:53,812
Yeah, it can be cool for,
like, one movie.
554
00:23:53,912 --> 00:23:55,546
Now it's just this
cheap device that people use
555
00:23:55,646 --> 00:23:57,579
to breathe life
into tired franchises.
556
00:23:57,679 --> 00:23:59,746
What are you guys talking about?
557
00:24:01,078 --> 00:24:04,779
Uh, we were just talking about
how amazing this all is.
558
00:24:04,879 --> 00:24:06,411
Okay, I've been trying to think
559
00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:07,846
about what we should do,
you guys.
560
00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:09,546
I think I know
how to make everything right,
561
00:24:09,646 --> 00:24:11,278
but we're gonna need
a really powerful computer.
562
00:24:11,378 --> 00:24:12,712
Are you gonna eat
your brownie, Kenny?
563
00:24:12,812 --> 00:24:14,245
Yeah, I'm gonna eat my brownie!
564
00:24:14,345 --> 00:24:16,345
Okay, fine, so we'll take you
to the computer lab.
565
00:24:16,445 --> 00:24:17,612
No, no, no, no, for this,
566
00:24:17,712 --> 00:24:19,145
we gotta get
a really powerful system.
567
00:24:19,245 --> 00:24:21,712
Is Kyle's mom still a big
fat bitch in this universe?
568
00:24:21,812 --> 00:24:23,812
What? My mom's not a bitch.
569
00:24:23,912 --> 00:24:26,045
Well, I mean,
she is kind of bitchy.
570
00:24:26,145 --> 00:24:27,579
She's a big dumb bitch, huh?
571
00:24:27,679 --> 00:24:29,679
What does calling my mom a bitch
have to do with anything?
572
00:24:29,779 --> 00:24:31,979
Because we could fake
a letter from Kyle's mom
573
00:24:32,078 --> 00:24:34,045
giving Kyle permission
to use her credit card number
574
00:24:34,145 --> 00:24:36,516
to buy all the stuff
we need at Best Buy.
575
00:24:36,546 --> 00:24:39,516
I mean, PC Principal
did say we have to help him.
576
00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,646
Her. Them. It.
577
00:24:41,746 --> 00:24:43,579
That's the dumbest idea ever!
578
00:24:43,679 --> 00:24:45,879
I don't even know what
my mom's credit number is!
579
00:24:45,979 --> 00:24:47,311
8-7-1-5…
580
00:24:47,411 --> 00:24:48,579
3-2-7…
581
00:24:48,679 --> 00:24:49,516
4-9-2…
582
00:24:49,546 --> 00:24:50,879
2-1-0-0-7.
583
00:24:50,979 --> 00:24:52,411
I use it all the time.
584
00:25:02,411 --> 00:25:04,579
All right. Full name?
585
00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:07,746
What is your name, sir?
586
00:25:07,846 --> 00:25:10,779
I told them already
my name is Eric Cartman.
587
00:25:10,879 --> 00:25:12,978
We know Eric Cartman, okay?
588
00:25:13,078 --> 00:25:15,779
Eric Cartman is in here
all the time getting in trouble.
589
00:25:15,879 --> 00:25:17,646
That's because I'm
from a different universe!
590
00:25:17,746 --> 00:25:19,111
How many times do I have
to tell you people?
591
00:25:19,211 --> 00:25:20,712
The Disney company tried to
use their platform
592
00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:23,411
to bring about social change
and I got fucked.
593
00:25:23,546 --> 00:25:26,445
Hey, Chief. Chief,
you gotta hear this one.
594
00:25:26,546 --> 00:25:28,278
What is it, Johnston?
595
00:25:28,378 --> 00:25:29,712
Aw, God.
596
00:25:29,812 --> 00:25:31,679
This little white boy
claims he's actually
597
00:25:31,779 --> 00:25:33,145
from a different universe.
598
00:25:33,245 --> 00:25:34,579
Is that so?
599
00:25:34,679 --> 00:25:35,945
All right, honkey,
what kind of narcotics
600
00:25:36,045 --> 00:25:38,746
are you on?
Did you do a cavity search?
601
00:25:38,846 --> 00:25:40,411
Have you even said what
you've arrested me for?
602
00:25:40,546 --> 00:25:42,846
I come from a place where this
is extremely inappropriate.
603
00:25:42,945 --> 00:25:45,378
- Chief! Hey, Chief!
- Yeah?
604
00:25:45,546 --> 00:25:47,516
There's some
crazy white lady downstairs
605
00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:49,579
freakin' out and saying
she needs to talk to you.
606
00:25:49,679 --> 00:25:50,912
More honkies?
607
00:25:51,011 --> 00:25:52,646
What is this,
a Taylor Swift concert?
608
00:25:52,746 --> 00:25:54,579
Tell the nice lady
I'll see her after I'm done
609
00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:56,411
with "Eric Cartman" here.
610
00:25:56,546 --> 00:25:57,879
Well, that's just it, Chief.
611
00:25:57,978 --> 00:26:00,278
She's sayin' she's
looking for an Eric Cartman.
612
00:26:00,378 --> 00:26:02,311
Says her name
is Kathleen Kennedy.
613
00:26:02,411 --> 00:26:05,278
Kathleen Kennedy?! No!
614
00:26:05,378 --> 00:26:07,145
She's gonna try to change me,
too! I'm the only one left!
615
00:26:07,245 --> 00:26:10,445
- Hey, get back here!
- She's gonna get me!
616
00:26:12,712 --> 00:26:15,311
Tom, I'm standing outside
617
00:26:15,411 --> 00:26:18,646
the South Park Country Club
where protestors have gathered
618
00:26:18,746 --> 00:26:21,111
to point out
the unfairness in our economy.
619
00:26:21,211 --> 00:26:24,145
The White House says they're
doing all they can but it's been
620
00:26:24,245 --> 00:26:27,911
several days now and my bathroom
tile still is not installed.
621
00:26:28,011 --> 00:26:31,178
Yeah, that's right. You see,
the whole system is rigged.
622
00:26:31,278 --> 00:26:33,945
You've got people like us
who just need our stuff fixed,
623
00:26:34,045 --> 00:26:36,145
and meanwhile
there's these billionaires
624
00:26:36,245 --> 00:26:37,445
that have all the control!
625
00:26:37,546 --> 00:26:38,846
Did you know that if just
626
00:26:38,945 --> 00:26:40,445
one of these billionaires
spread their wealth,
627
00:26:40,546 --> 00:26:42,911
it would mean thousands
to every per…
628
00:26:43,011 --> 00:26:44,345
it would mean thousands
to every…
629
00:26:44,445 --> 00:26:45,779
Sorry, hang on, just a second.
630
00:26:45,878 --> 00:26:47,278
Yeah?
631
00:26:47,378 --> 00:26:49,546
Hey, Ran, the oven door still
isn't shutting right.
632
00:26:49,646 --> 00:26:51,516
Yeah, I'm working on it, Sharon!
633
00:26:51,546 --> 00:26:53,779
I'm actually
working on it right now!
634
00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:55,612
Hey, one of them's coming out!
635
00:26:57,111 --> 00:26:58,812
Please, just glance
at my water pressure!
636
00:26:58,911 --> 00:27:01,411
Mr. Fix It, can you please
tell us why you haven't been
637
00:27:01,546 --> 00:27:03,045
responding to people's calls?
638
00:27:03,145 --> 00:27:05,945
Well, I've just been busy
with my various assets.
639
00:27:06,045 --> 00:27:07,679
You see, I've been trying
to acquire
640
00:27:07,779 --> 00:27:11,516
some social media platforms.
I just bought Instagram.
641
00:27:11,546 --> 00:27:13,845
What? The country needs
stuff fixed.
642
00:27:13,945 --> 00:27:16,679
Why the fuck are you out
buying Instagram?!
643
00:27:19,278 --> 00:27:22,612
Hey, did you just outbid me
to acquire Instagram?
644
00:27:22,712 --> 00:27:24,011
Yeah, I outbid you.
645
00:27:24,111 --> 00:27:26,712
I own Instagram now
and you don't!
646
00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,445
Oh, yeah?
Well, I just acquired
647
00:27:28,546 --> 00:27:30,546
the entire
Bloomberg media company!
648
00:27:30,646 --> 00:27:32,178
Oh, yeah?
Well, I can kick your ass.
649
00:27:32,278 --> 00:27:33,845
You wanna fight me MMA?
650
00:27:33,945 --> 00:27:35,945
Yeah, I'll fight you MMA,
let's do it.
651
00:27:36,045 --> 00:27:37,746
What the hell
are they doing now?
652
00:27:37,845 --> 00:27:39,311
I'm just gonna make a company
653
00:27:39,411 --> 00:27:40,911
and I'm gonna fly to space!
654
00:27:41,011 --> 00:27:43,178
I bet I can get to space
before you do!
655
00:27:43,278 --> 00:27:46,712
Gal! Fuck these guys!
656
00:27:51,145 --> 00:27:53,811
She has all the right things
in her purse.
657
00:27:53,911 --> 00:27:55,779
Her driver's license
says Kathleen Kennedy,
658
00:27:55,878 --> 00:27:57,878
she has Kathleen Kennedy
credit cards.
659
00:27:57,978 --> 00:28:00,646
This is definitely all the same
makeup Mrs. Kennedy uses.
660
00:28:00,746 --> 00:28:03,779
I mean, according to this,
she really is Kathleen Kennedy.
661
00:28:03,878 --> 00:28:06,516
Or Kathleen Kennedy
from another universe.
662
00:28:06,546 --> 00:28:08,278
That's enough! Please!
663
00:28:08,378 --> 00:28:10,612
We're not going to
waste our time chasing
664
00:28:10,712 --> 00:28:12,378
after wild scientific theories!
665
00:28:12,546 --> 00:28:13,612
Well, we have to do something.
666
00:28:13,712 --> 00:28:15,746
Kathleen Kennedy is down
on set right now
667
00:28:15,845 --> 00:28:17,646
ruining the new Bambi movie!
668
00:28:17,746 --> 00:28:20,078
Put a diverse woman in it,
make it lame!
669
00:28:20,178 --> 00:28:23,679
But Mrs. Kennedy,
Bam-Bambi's a baby deer.
670
00:28:23,778 --> 00:28:26,746
Fuck baby deer!
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
671
00:28:26,845 --> 00:28:29,011
You guys, you better
come take a look at this.
672
00:28:29,111 --> 00:28:32,111
I don't think we are dealing
with our Kathleen Kennedy.
673
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:34,378
I took images of Mrs. Kennedy
and put them
674
00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:36,778
against images of her
from a few months ago.
675
00:28:36,878 --> 00:28:39,411
With AI we could detect
the smallest irregularities.
676
00:28:39,546 --> 00:28:41,178
Take a look.
677
00:28:48,945 --> 00:28:52,245
All right. What do we know
about the panderverse?
678
00:28:52,345 --> 00:28:53,646
I'm afraid we know…
679
00:28:53,745 --> 00:28:55,078
frighteningly little.
680
00:28:55,178 --> 00:28:57,845
The only thing we know for sure
681
00:28:57,945 --> 00:28:59,911
is that if a portal
were somehow opened
682
00:29:00,011 --> 00:29:01,345
with the panderstone,
683
00:29:01,445 --> 00:29:04,111
then both universes
eventually will collide,
684
00:29:04,211 --> 00:29:07,911
leading to a level of pandering
we can't even fathom.
685
00:29:08,011 --> 00:29:09,811
That we know for sure. Yes.
686
00:29:09,911 --> 00:29:11,011
Then we have to get everyone
687
00:29:11,111 --> 00:29:12,945
back to the right universe.
688
00:29:13,045 --> 00:29:16,679
Before it's complete pandermonium.
689
00:29:28,546 --> 00:29:31,178
Okay, Kenny,
switch on the power supply.
690
00:29:31,278 --> 00:29:33,778
Stan, make sure
we've got ethernet!
691
00:29:33,878 --> 00:29:35,311
- All good.
- All right,
692
00:29:35,411 --> 00:29:36,612
let's just hope this works.
693
00:29:36,711 --> 00:29:38,711
Oh, man, what the hell?
694
00:29:38,811 --> 00:29:41,178
Dude, Kyle, what is up
with your Internet speed?
695
00:29:41,278 --> 00:29:43,411
Go tell your parents to
upgrade your Internet speed.
696
00:29:43,546 --> 00:29:44,679
No!
697
00:29:44,778 --> 00:29:46,145
Kyle, I know
you're afraid of your mom
698
00:29:46,245 --> 00:29:48,411
'cause she's a fat bitch,
but we have to do this.
699
00:29:48,546 --> 00:29:49,911
Stop calling my mom a bitch!
700
00:29:50,011 --> 00:29:52,011
Kyle!
701
00:29:52,111 --> 00:29:53,878
I just got an alert
that someone used
702
00:29:53,978 --> 00:29:55,745
my credit card at Best Buy?!
703
00:29:55,845 --> 00:29:59,011
Oh, hello, Mrs. Broflovski.
704
00:29:59,111 --> 00:30:01,978
My goodness,
you're looking nice today.
705
00:30:02,078 --> 00:30:03,579
What?
706
00:30:03,678 --> 00:30:05,478
You know, credit card fraud
707
00:30:05,579 --> 00:30:07,078
is very serious,
Mrs. Broflovski.
708
00:30:07,178 --> 00:30:09,011
You should call your
Internet company right away
709
00:30:09,111 --> 00:30:11,678
and up your speed
and make sure you're protected.
710
00:30:11,778 --> 00:30:14,711
Really? Kyle, who is this?
711
00:30:14,811 --> 00:30:16,678
Oh, haven't you heard, Mom?
712
00:30:16,778 --> 00:30:18,546
We're in a multiverse
and this is
713
00:30:18,646 --> 00:30:20,078
supposed to be Eric Cartman.
714
00:30:20,878 --> 00:30:22,311
Oh, okay, I'm fine with that.
715
00:30:22,411 --> 00:30:24,646
I better go call
the Internet company.
716
00:30:24,745 --> 00:30:26,045
What do you mean
you're fine with that?
717
00:30:26,145 --> 00:30:28,711
I think all this stuff
is great, Kyle.
718
00:30:28,811 --> 00:30:30,811
And what "all stuff"
is that, exactly?
719
00:30:30,911 --> 00:30:32,678
Ha! It worked.
720
00:30:32,778 --> 00:30:34,579
She's gonna call
the Internet company.
721
00:30:34,678 --> 00:30:37,145
Your mom is such
a dumb bitch, Kyle!
722
00:30:37,245 --> 00:30:38,579
Shut up, Cartman!
723
00:30:38,678 --> 00:30:42,245
* Loo, loo, loo,
I got some apples *
724
00:30:42,345 --> 00:30:46,145
* Loo, loo, loo,
you got some, too *
725
00:30:46,245 --> 00:30:49,311
* Loo, loo, loo, let's
make some applesauce… *
726
00:30:49,411 --> 00:30:50,811
Butters.
727
00:30:50,911 --> 00:30:52,245
Butters! Butters, listen to me.
728
00:30:52,345 --> 00:30:54,845
- It's me, Eric.
- You-You-You're not Eric!
729
00:30:54,945 --> 00:30:56,245
Yes, I am Eric Cartman, Butters.
730
00:30:56,345 --> 00:30:57,811
Kathleen Kennedy
is trying to get me.
731
00:30:57,911 --> 00:30:59,478
She won't stop until her
master plan is complete.
732
00:30:59,579 --> 00:31:02,579
I'm not supposed to have
anyone in my room, I'm grounded!
733
00:31:02,678 --> 00:31:04,978
Butters, Disney is going to
get me. They already got you!
734
00:31:05,078 --> 00:31:06,516
They did?!
735
00:31:06,546 --> 00:31:08,011
We are in this together, Butters.
736
00:31:08,111 --> 00:31:09,516
You have to
keep me safe until I can
737
00:31:09,546 --> 00:31:12,516
figure out how we're gonna…
738
00:31:12,546 --> 00:31:14,611
She's here!
Butters, don't let her get me.
739
00:31:14,711 --> 00:31:17,278
Butters?!
740
00:31:17,378 --> 00:31:20,845
Butters! Why didn't you
answer this door?
741
00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:22,516
Oh. Hey, Dad.
742
00:31:22,546 --> 00:31:25,411
What are you doing up here?
And why do you look so scared?
743
00:31:25,546 --> 00:31:29,516
Oh, I'm not scared, I'm just,
uh, I'm just having fun.
744
00:31:29,546 --> 00:31:30,878
Well, no having fun.
745
00:31:30,978 --> 00:31:33,611
You are grounded.
Start being more miserable.
746
00:31:33,711 --> 00:31:35,911
- Dad?
- Yes, Butters?
747
00:31:36,011 --> 00:31:38,745
Uh, could you check
under my bed and make sure
748
00:31:38,845 --> 00:31:40,345
Kathleen Kennedy isn't there?
749
00:31:40,445 --> 00:31:42,878
Butters, what have I told you
about being more mature?
750
00:31:42,978 --> 00:31:45,011
I can assure you
Kathleen Kennedy
751
00:31:45,111 --> 00:31:47,178
is not under your bed!
752
00:31:52,546 --> 00:31:53,611
That's fucking Kathleen Kennedy!
753
00:31:53,711 --> 00:31:54,711
Right fucking there!
754
00:31:56,878 --> 00:31:58,711
You! Come here!
755
00:31:58,811 --> 00:32:00,645
No, no, no, no, no!
756
00:32:03,145 --> 00:32:06,045
No, no! No, no, no!
757
00:32:18,845 --> 00:32:20,178
Well, Shelley,
758
00:32:20,278 --> 00:32:22,311
we need to talk
about your future.
759
00:32:22,411 --> 00:32:25,515
You see, there's very few
people at the top these days.
760
00:32:25,545 --> 00:32:28,111
AI can do everything
better than we can,
761
00:32:28,211 --> 00:32:31,045
except for stuff
that requires arms.
762
00:32:32,411 --> 00:32:34,845
I don't want you to
end up a deadbeat loser
763
00:32:34,945 --> 00:32:36,545
who goes to college, Shelley.
764
00:32:36,645 --> 00:32:38,278
You need to stay out of school,
765
00:32:38,378 --> 00:32:41,178
and instead go out and be
taught real skills that will
766
00:32:41,278 --> 00:32:44,411
still be profitable
in this post-AI universe.
767
00:32:44,545 --> 00:32:48,515
So what you do is you take
out your phone and you call
768
00:32:48,545 --> 00:32:52,045
the handyman, and see if
those rich people will have
769
00:32:52,145 --> 00:32:55,245
any internships or training
programs available for you.
770
00:33:02,545 --> 00:33:05,045
Handyman service,
how can I help you?
771
00:33:05,145 --> 00:33:06,745
Yeah, hi, it's Randy Marsh.
772
00:33:06,845 --> 00:33:09,345
I was wondering if you
might have any internships
773
00:33:09,445 --> 00:33:10,745
available for my daughter…
774
00:33:10,845 --> 00:33:12,178
Hey! What in tarnation?!
775
00:33:12,278 --> 00:33:14,945
I told you I'd beat you,
you son' bitch!
776
00:33:15,045 --> 00:33:18,145
You ain't beatin' me!
Turn up them thrusters!
777
00:33:18,245 --> 00:33:19,878
My galactic cruiser's
bigger than yours!
778
00:33:19,978 --> 00:33:21,211
H-Hello?
779
00:33:21,311 --> 00:33:22,411
Get out my way,
you little pecker!
780
00:33:22,545 --> 00:33:23,845
Hello? Never mind.
781
00:33:23,945 --> 00:33:27,011
The rich people are all just
fucking around in space.
782
00:33:31,145 --> 00:33:32,645
What the hell was that?
783
00:33:32,745 --> 00:33:35,745
I'm getting significantly strong
readings from the panderstone.
784
00:33:35,845 --> 00:33:37,611
Mr. Iger.
We may have a solution.
785
00:33:37,711 --> 00:33:40,515
If this Kathleen Kennedy here
is from somewhere else, then
786
00:33:40,545 --> 00:33:43,515
there has to be a match for her
somewhere in our universe.
787
00:33:43,545 --> 00:33:45,111
So what we can do
788
00:33:45,211 --> 00:33:48,245
is use an AI program that
can take every image ever put
789
00:33:48,345 --> 00:33:51,378
on the Internet to try
and find a match to our image.
790
00:33:52,178 --> 00:33:54,045
Different, different, different,
791
00:33:54,145 --> 00:33:55,978
different, different,
different, different,
792
00:33:56,078 --> 00:33:58,578
different,
different, different…
793
00:33:58,678 --> 00:34:00,245
Same.
794
00:34:00,345 --> 00:34:02,515
Eric Cartman.
795
00:34:02,545 --> 00:34:03,978
South Park Elementary.
796
00:34:04,078 --> 00:34:05,978
Evans, Mallory, come with me.
797
00:34:06,078 --> 00:34:08,311
The rest of you,
don't let Kathleen Kennedy
798
00:34:08,411 --> 00:34:09,678
find out what we're up to.
799
00:34:09,778 --> 00:34:12,278
It's okay, we're keeping
Mrs. Kennedy distracted.
800
00:34:12,378 --> 00:34:15,045
We've sent her away
to have lunch at Spago.
801
00:34:19,278 --> 00:34:20,778
There you are, Mrs. Kennedy,
802
00:34:20,878 --> 00:34:22,515
the linguini and clam sauce.
803
00:34:22,545 --> 00:34:23,978
Uh, excuse me?
804
00:34:24,078 --> 00:34:25,711
I believe I asked you
to put a chick in this
805
00:34:25,811 --> 00:34:27,515
- and make her gay?
- Uh…
806
00:34:27,545 --> 00:34:30,045
Yes, the chef was a little
confused what you meant by that.
807
00:34:30,145 --> 00:34:32,945
It means put a chick
in the linguini
808
00:34:33,045 --> 00:34:35,444
and make her fucking gay!
809
00:34:36,278 --> 00:34:38,545
And I want it lame!
810
00:34:45,545 --> 00:34:48,745
She's gonna get me!
She's gonna get me!
811
00:34:55,078 --> 00:34:57,045
No, no, no, no, no!
812
00:35:00,311 --> 00:35:02,078
Hey, who's that, Ned?
813
00:35:02,178 --> 00:35:03,745
I'm not sure.
814
00:35:03,845 --> 00:35:05,545
No!
815
00:35:08,377 --> 00:35:10,377
There he is!
Get him!
816
00:35:17,911 --> 00:35:21,145
No. Oh, my God, please, no!
817
00:35:22,945 --> 00:35:24,911
No…!
818
00:35:25,011 --> 00:35:26,410
Which way did they go?
819
00:35:28,410 --> 00:35:30,878
We have to work together.
820
00:35:30,978 --> 00:35:33,515
Fuck you, Kathleen Kennedy!
Stay away, you fuckin' bitch!
821
00:35:33,545 --> 00:35:37,045
I'm in the same situation
you are, Eric!
822
00:35:38,945 --> 00:35:41,878
I know you're in
the wrong universe.
823
00:35:41,978 --> 00:35:44,211
So am I.
824
00:35:51,145 --> 00:35:54,645
Well, there's no
other way to put it.
825
00:35:54,745 --> 00:35:56,278
They have us over a barrel.
826
00:35:57,045 --> 00:36:01,278
We give these billionaires
all our money, rely on them,
827
00:36:01,377 --> 00:36:03,911
and so they can do
whatever they want.
828
00:36:04,678 --> 00:36:08,410
Let's just face it, we're
never gonna get our stuff fixed.
829
00:36:08,545 --> 00:36:10,078
Yeah.
830
00:36:10,178 --> 00:36:14,515
And I guess it's
nobody's fault but our own.
831
00:36:14,545 --> 00:36:16,078
Excuse me?
832
00:36:16,178 --> 00:36:17,410
My name is Bob Iger
833
00:36:17,545 --> 00:36:19,011
from the Disney
entertainment company.
834
00:36:19,111 --> 00:36:21,410
We're looking
for an Eric Cartman.
835
00:36:21,545 --> 00:36:24,344
Our universe
has been manipulated with.
836
00:36:24,444 --> 00:36:26,711
Have you all
noticed anything strange?
837
00:36:29,310 --> 00:36:32,611
Yes. Yes, the world
is completely upside down!
838
00:36:32,711 --> 00:36:34,045
Nothing makes sense!
839
00:36:34,145 --> 00:36:35,745
It's because
there's some kind of
840
00:36:35,845 --> 00:36:37,278
disruption in the panderverse.
841
00:36:37,377 --> 00:36:40,011
We believe Kathleen Kennedy
has opened a portal.
842
00:36:40,111 --> 00:36:42,611
This is all
Kathleen Kennedy's fault?
843
00:36:42,711 --> 00:36:45,078
This is all Kathleen Kennedy's
fault!
844
00:36:45,178 --> 00:36:46,310
Who's Kathleen Kennedy?
845
00:36:46,410 --> 00:36:48,645
One of the top executives
at Disney.
846
00:36:48,745 --> 00:36:50,245
It's not us, you guys.
847
00:36:50,344 --> 00:36:52,410
I knew there was an explanation!
848
00:36:52,545 --> 00:36:54,344
We didn't waste our time
at college!
849
00:36:54,444 --> 00:36:56,711
We didn't get lazy
from technology!
850
00:36:56,811 --> 00:36:59,545
Everything is
Kathleen Kennedy's fault!
851
00:37:03,245 --> 00:37:06,545
Follow me.
I'll help you find Eric.
852
00:37:07,277 --> 00:37:09,645
Okay, okay,
everything is finally loaded.
853
00:37:09,745 --> 00:37:11,444
We got Internet
at full capacity.
854
00:37:11,545 --> 00:37:12,811
You guys ready
to see if this works?
855
00:37:12,911 --> 00:37:14,878
- Yeah!
- All right, let's do this!
856
00:37:14,978 --> 00:37:16,578
Launching Steam now.
857
00:37:16,678 --> 00:37:17,711
Steam?
858
00:37:17,811 --> 00:37:19,211
Okay. I'm in Steam.
859
00:37:19,310 --> 00:37:20,515
Got the application ready to go.
860
00:37:20,545 --> 00:37:22,145
The title screen is launching!
861
00:37:24,344 --> 00:37:26,444
It's working.
It's working, you guys!
862
00:37:26,545 --> 00:37:27,878
It looks sweet
on this big monitor!
863
00:37:27,978 --> 00:37:30,344
Wait a minute.
You mean this entire time,
864
00:37:30,444 --> 00:37:32,178
all you've wanted to do
is play Baldur's Gate 3?
865
00:37:32,277 --> 00:37:33,878
Yeah. What'd you think
I was trying to do?
866
00:37:33,978 --> 00:37:35,778
We thought you were
trying to set up some elaborate
867
00:37:35,878 --> 00:37:37,410
system to get
back to your universe!
868
00:37:37,545 --> 00:37:39,578
I ain't no
quantum astro physicist.
869
00:37:39,678 --> 00:37:42,310
The fuck I know about
how the multiverse works?
870
00:37:42,410 --> 00:37:45,011
Wow. It really is Cartman.
871
00:37:45,111 --> 00:37:46,645
All right, that does it!
872
00:37:47,911 --> 00:37:49,344
Get out of my room!
873
00:37:49,444 --> 00:37:51,845
You have to be cool to me, Kyle.
PC Principal says so.
874
00:37:51,945 --> 00:37:55,011
I don't care! All this multiple
universe stuff is tired and lazy
875
00:37:55,111 --> 00:37:56,878
and we are not doing it anymore!
876
00:37:56,978 --> 00:37:58,515
Boys! Boys,
877
00:37:58,545 --> 00:38:00,210
we need to help Disney
put our universe back together.
878
00:38:00,310 --> 00:38:01,778
Where's Eric Cartman?
879
00:38:01,878 --> 00:38:03,515
Dad, this might be hard
to understand,
880
00:38:03,545 --> 00:38:05,111
but this is Eric Cartman.
881
00:38:05,210 --> 00:38:06,745
Oh, okay, great.
Come on, Eric,
882
00:38:06,845 --> 00:38:08,277
we need to go.
883
00:38:08,377 --> 00:38:10,811
We have to hurry, Eric.
884
00:38:10,911 --> 00:38:12,578
No. No, wait.
885
00:38:12,678 --> 00:38:14,678
Something's wrong.
Oh, my God!
886
00:38:14,778 --> 00:38:16,945
- What is it?
- My save game.
887
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:19,344
I'm already like 50 hours
into Baldur's Gate 3
888
00:38:19,444 --> 00:38:21,711
but it's saying that
I have to start a new game.
889
00:38:21,811 --> 00:38:24,377
Do save games not cross
between multiple universes?
890
00:38:24,545 --> 00:38:25,645
Save games
don't even cross between
891
00:38:25,745 --> 00:38:27,277
PCs and PS5s,
why would they cross
892
00:38:27,377 --> 00:38:28,678
between multiple universes?
893
00:38:29,678 --> 00:38:30,911
No…!
894
00:38:31,011 --> 00:38:32,578
Please, everyone.
We are running out of time!
895
00:38:32,678 --> 00:38:34,515
We have to close
the panderverse before
896
00:38:34,545 --> 00:38:36,244
everything we care about
is destroyed!
897
00:38:36,344 --> 00:38:37,410
So what do we have to do?
898
00:38:37,545 --> 00:38:38,711
We have to get everyone
899
00:38:38,811 --> 00:38:40,515
back to the proper place,
but to breach
900
00:38:40,545 --> 00:38:42,277
the panderverse,
we need to find a place
901
00:38:42,377 --> 00:38:44,678
with integrity
that has a broken door.
902
00:38:45,578 --> 00:38:49,078
A place with "integridy"
that has a broken door.
903
00:38:49,177 --> 00:38:51,711
I know where to go.
904
00:38:53,778 --> 00:38:56,210
So, yeah, so it's just basically
off the hinges.
905
00:38:56,310 --> 00:38:58,210
I'd fix it myself
but I've been really busy.
906
00:38:58,310 --> 00:38:59,678
Do you think it'll work?
907
00:38:59,778 --> 00:39:01,310
If we're to try to open
a panderverse portal,
908
00:39:01,410 --> 00:39:03,344
it's as good as any place,
I suppose.
909
00:39:03,444 --> 00:39:05,277
Okay, people,
we don't have much time.
910
00:39:05,377 --> 00:39:08,444
Bring in the panderstone.
911
00:39:11,545 --> 00:39:13,545
I'm not your enemy, Eric.
912
00:39:13,645 --> 00:39:15,811
For some reason
fate has put us together.
913
00:39:15,911 --> 00:39:18,377
What do you want from me,
Kathleen Kennedy?
914
00:39:18,545 --> 00:39:20,678
I've been stuck in
this universe for months.
915
00:39:20,778 --> 00:39:22,745
I want out of here
just as much as you do.
916
00:39:22,845 --> 00:39:25,778
Hello, welcome to City Woke,
can I take your order, please?
917
00:39:25,878 --> 00:39:26,945
Ugh.
918
00:39:27,045 --> 00:39:28,778
We're just having tea,
thank you.
919
00:39:28,878 --> 00:39:30,778
Okay, you just wanna tea
and talk about
920
00:39:30,878 --> 00:39:33,078
shitty male-dominated society,
that's fine.
921
00:39:33,177 --> 00:39:35,110
I don't get it,
this is exactly the kind of
922
00:39:35,210 --> 00:39:36,911
universe you wanted,
why would you want to leave?
923
00:39:37,011 --> 00:39:40,778
To stop her from undoing
the panderverse completely.
924
00:39:43,811 --> 00:39:46,244
I saw the panderstone
for the first time
925
00:39:46,344 --> 00:39:47,645
a few years ago.
926
00:39:47,745 --> 00:39:49,778
Bob Iger took us
to the Disney archives
927
00:39:49,878 --> 00:39:52,845
and showed us an ancient
piece of artificial intelligence
928
00:39:52,945 --> 00:39:55,678
that could be used to make
the same movies over
929
00:39:55,778 --> 00:39:59,545
and over again while appealing
to absolutely everyone.
930
00:40:00,645 --> 00:40:02,911
The panderstone worked great,
for a while.
931
00:40:03,011 --> 00:40:06,177
But then came the hate mail.
Ugly letters from racists
932
00:40:06,277 --> 00:40:08,310
who couldn't stand
that some of the panderstone's
933
00:40:08,410 --> 00:40:11,244
rehashes had diverse
women characters in the lead.
934
00:40:11,344 --> 00:40:14,878
I decided I would show them.
I would start making movies
935
00:40:14,978 --> 00:40:16,911
to fight all
the bigotry in our society.
936
00:40:17,011 --> 00:40:19,110
But instead
of doing any real work,
937
00:40:19,210 --> 00:40:24,477
I turned to the panderstone.
It made things so much easier.
938
00:40:24,578 --> 00:40:27,011
Soon, I was using
the panderstone over
939
00:40:27,110 --> 00:40:30,177
and over again to try
and fight all the ugly feedback,
940
00:40:30,277 --> 00:40:33,177
which in turn was growing
stronger and stronger.
941
00:40:33,945 --> 00:40:36,511
But I was fighting
with the wrong tool.
942
00:40:36,611 --> 00:40:38,310
I used the panderstone
to the point
943
00:40:38,410 --> 00:40:40,778
that it became unstable.
944
00:40:41,611 --> 00:40:43,477
It opened a portal
to multiple universes,
945
00:40:43,578 --> 00:40:46,344
and something came through.
946
00:40:54,077 --> 00:40:57,344
At first we fought. I tried
to send it back to its universe.
947
00:40:57,444 --> 00:40:59,044
But it got the upper hand.
948
00:40:59,144 --> 00:41:01,745
It was able instead
to send me to this universe,
949
00:41:01,845 --> 00:41:04,545
out of its way so
it could thrive in ours.
950
00:41:06,110 --> 00:41:08,515
That's actually
the best explanation
951
00:41:08,545 --> 00:41:11,911
I've heard as to why
Disney movies all suck now.
952
00:41:15,911 --> 00:41:17,410
All right, I've set
the panderstone
953
00:41:17,545 --> 00:41:19,144
into the compromised doorway.
954
00:41:19,244 --> 00:41:21,444
Activating the panderstone now.
955
00:41:22,845 --> 00:41:23,878
Whoa!
956
00:41:23,978 --> 00:41:25,545
Space-time portal
is manifesting!
957
00:41:25,645 --> 00:41:27,210
Panderverse
quantum fields are aligned!
958
00:41:27,310 --> 00:41:29,811
Yeah, that sounds like typical
multiverse gobbledygook.
959
00:41:29,911 --> 00:41:31,978
Will you stop ripping
on multiple universes, Kyle?
960
00:41:32,077 --> 00:41:33,778
I'm trying to get back
to Baldur's Gate.
961
00:41:33,878 --> 00:41:36,911
Now I warn you, Mr. Marsh,
once inside the panderverse,
962
00:41:37,010 --> 00:41:38,778
you will be falling
through different realities.
963
00:41:38,878 --> 00:41:40,911
Your mind will barely
be able to comprehend
964
00:41:41,010 --> 00:41:43,515
what you are experiencing.
Randy?
965
00:41:43,545 --> 00:41:45,745
I think the oven door is
still having problems if you…
966
00:41:45,845 --> 00:41:48,678
I am working on it, Sharon!
967
00:41:50,144 --> 00:41:53,210
The portal is at full.
This might be our only shot!
968
00:41:53,310 --> 00:41:55,110
Good luck, Mr. Marsh!
969
00:41:55,210 --> 00:41:56,945
Whoa!
970
00:42:00,244 --> 00:42:02,545
Hold on to the rope!
971
00:42:03,977 --> 00:42:06,144
Oh, whoa!
972
00:42:06,244 --> 00:42:08,044
Oh, my God.
973
00:42:08,144 --> 00:42:10,711
Whoa!
974
00:42:10,811 --> 00:42:13,210
Whoa.
975
00:42:15,410 --> 00:42:18,144
Oh, God, it's so weird.
976
00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:20,144
Shorts, now I'm wearing shorts!
977
00:42:22,377 --> 00:42:23,410
Can you imagine it?
978
00:42:23,545 --> 00:42:25,110
An infinite number of universes
979
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:27,310
with infinite combinations of
pants and shirts.
980
00:42:27,410 --> 00:42:30,545
What do you think about
multiple universes now, boys?
981
00:42:31,778 --> 00:42:33,077
Yeah, they're pretty
fucking stupid.
982
00:42:33,177 --> 00:42:34,177
Yeah.
983
00:42:34,277 --> 00:42:35,711
I understand that maybe
984
00:42:35,811 --> 00:42:37,515
you were trying to
make a difference, Kathleen.
985
00:42:37,545 --> 00:42:39,444
But you have to admit
the last few movies
986
00:42:39,545 --> 00:42:41,177
you've shit out
have been real stinkers.
987
00:42:41,277 --> 00:42:42,645
All I ever wanted was to
988
00:42:42,745 --> 00:42:44,977
make great entertainment,
believe me.
989
00:42:45,077 --> 00:42:48,010
But as soon as you start getting
piles and piles of hate mail,
990
00:42:48,110 --> 00:42:50,611
endless messages
calling you the c-word,
991
00:42:50,711 --> 00:42:52,515
you can't think straight.
992
00:42:52,545 --> 00:42:55,277
Well, I'm sorry I wrote
all those letters.
993
00:42:55,377 --> 00:42:57,077
It probably was a bit much.
994
00:42:57,177 --> 00:43:00,377
No, I got like
10,000 letters a day.
995
00:43:00,545 --> 00:43:02,077
Mm, I was doing more like
12,000 to 13,000,
996
00:43:02,177 --> 00:43:04,545
especially after the new
Indiana Jones came out.
997
00:43:05,545 --> 00:43:08,515
Then it's you! You're the one
who caused all this!
998
00:43:08,545 --> 00:43:10,444
Fuck you! You're the one
who caused all this!
999
00:43:10,545 --> 00:43:12,377
I wouldn't have tried
to fight racism
1000
00:43:12,545 --> 00:43:13,515
with the panderstone
if you hadn't
1001
00:43:13,545 --> 00:43:14,845
written all those letters.
1002
00:43:14,944 --> 00:43:16,144
I wouldn't have written
all those letters
1003
00:43:16,244 --> 00:43:17,377
if you hadn't
tried to fight racism
1004
00:43:17,545 --> 00:43:19,210
with a fucking panderstone.
1005
00:43:20,977 --> 00:43:23,277
Mr. Marsh!
Can you hear us?
1006
00:43:23,377 --> 00:43:24,545
Oh, wow!
1007
00:43:24,645 --> 00:43:26,515
You should see
the pants I have on now!
1008
00:43:26,545 --> 00:43:29,910
Whoa! Oh, now I have on,
like, suspenders.
1009
00:43:30,010 --> 00:43:32,845
Like almost like overalls
but not quite!
1010
00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:34,010
My God.
1011
00:43:34,110 --> 00:43:36,244
Mr. Marsh!
Try and stay focused!
1012
00:43:36,344 --> 00:43:38,944
You should be
seeing another portal soon!
1013
00:43:39,044 --> 00:43:41,177
If our Kathleen Kennedy
got the other Eric Cartman
1014
00:43:41,277 --> 00:43:42,678
to the right place.
1015
00:43:42,778 --> 00:43:44,444
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1016
00:43:44,545 --> 00:43:45,944
Dad? What's the matter?
1017
00:43:46,044 --> 00:43:48,244
I'm wearing a Baltimore Ravens
shirt now!
1018
00:43:48,344 --> 00:43:49,845
I hate the Ravens!
1019
00:43:49,944 --> 00:43:52,611
I don't know if I can do this!
1020
00:43:52,711 --> 00:43:54,745
Oh, now it's the Dolphins!
Ah! The Chiefs!
1021
00:43:54,844 --> 00:43:56,545
Oh, it's the Chiefs!
1022
00:43:56,645 --> 00:43:58,110
He's losing his mind!
1023
00:43:58,210 --> 00:43:59,977
The panderverse
is filled with mystery
1024
00:44:00,077 --> 00:44:03,611
and paradox, you…
you have to try and hang on!
1025
00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:09,010
Jesus, it's getting worse.
1026
00:44:14,910 --> 00:44:18,377
Where the fuck is Bob Iger?
1027
00:44:19,177 --> 00:44:21,277
Uh, Mr. Iger
just had to take some
1028
00:44:21,377 --> 00:44:23,010
of the others to a screening.
1029
00:44:23,110 --> 00:44:26,044
I think that things
are being kept from me.
1030
00:44:26,144 --> 00:44:28,545
And if you're going
to keep things from me,
1031
00:44:28,645 --> 00:44:31,110
then you'd better
put a chick in it,
1032
00:44:31,210 --> 00:44:34,444
and make her
fucking gay as fuck.
1033
00:44:40,745 --> 00:44:43,545
So that's it,
that's the connection.
1034
00:44:43,645 --> 00:44:46,515
I reacted to you
and you reacted to me.
1035
00:44:46,545 --> 00:44:49,110
And I guess
we created each other.
1036
00:44:49,210 --> 00:44:50,515
Mrs. Kennedy,
1037
00:44:50,545 --> 00:44:51,711
I don't think
I've ever said this
1038
00:44:51,810 --> 00:44:54,711
before in my life but…
I'm sorry.
1039
00:44:54,810 --> 00:44:57,711
I lashed out so hard and used
the c-word so many times,
1040
00:44:57,810 --> 00:45:00,110
you didn't really have
a choice but to double down.
1041
00:45:00,210 --> 00:45:03,645
Eric, I know you care
about all things Disney.
1042
00:45:03,745 --> 00:45:07,244
I'm sorry I was so reckless
with the things that you love.
1043
00:45:07,344 --> 00:45:10,277
It was just lazy.
1044
00:45:10,377 --> 00:45:11,944
I guess just wailing
1045
00:45:12,044 --> 00:45:15,578
on woke stuff all the time
is pretty lazy, too.
1046
00:45:22,745 --> 00:45:27,110
I think…
I think I can let go now.
1047
00:45:34,044 --> 00:45:37,344
Aah…
1048
00:45:38,144 --> 00:45:43,177
Come on, Kate. Looks like
we got a flight to catch.
1049
00:45:52,877 --> 00:45:55,177
Whoa, what the hell is that?
1050
00:45:58,844 --> 00:46:01,744
Oh, yo, bitch!
You killed Kenny!
1051
00:46:01,844 --> 00:46:03,910
You fat ho!
1052
00:46:13,545 --> 00:46:14,710
Look!
1053
00:46:18,344 --> 00:46:20,177
I'm back, you guys!
1054
00:46:22,010 --> 00:46:24,044
Kyle! Kyle, I'm back!
1055
00:46:24,144 --> 00:46:25,710
I was so wrong
about Kathleen Kennedy,
1056
00:46:25,810 --> 00:46:27,310
Kyle, she's so awesome!
1057
00:46:27,410 --> 00:46:29,578
Okay, what Cartman is this?
1058
00:46:29,678 --> 00:46:30,977
Mrs. Kennedy, you're back!
1059
00:46:31,077 --> 00:46:33,377
- Great to see you, ma'am.
- Thanks, you guys.
1060
00:46:33,545 --> 00:46:36,177
We have a lot of changes
to discuss at the company.
1061
00:46:36,277 --> 00:46:38,578
From now on we're only
going to make original content
1062
00:46:38,678 --> 00:46:40,210
that doesn't pander.
1063
00:46:40,310 --> 00:46:42,310
Sure we will, Kate.
Sure we will.
1064
00:46:43,677 --> 00:46:45,611
Hey, guys! Guys, over here!
1065
00:46:46,377 --> 00:46:49,677
I did a little extra work while
I was out in multiple universes.
1066
00:46:49,777 --> 00:46:52,144
We're not gonna have a problem
with billionaires anymore,
1067
00:46:52,244 --> 00:46:54,077
check it out!
1068
00:46:57,545 --> 00:47:00,645
Now people who can do stuff
will be just as poor
1069
00:47:00,744 --> 00:47:02,010
as the rest of us!
1070
00:47:04,545 --> 00:47:07,377
Tom, it appears that
everything is back to normal.
1071
00:47:07,545 --> 00:47:10,110
Billionaires have been put
in their place and once again
1072
00:47:10,210 --> 00:47:12,977
it doesn't matter that we
don't know how to do anything.
1073
00:47:13,077 --> 00:47:15,515
It's a good ending here
and we can all be happy
1074
00:47:15,545 --> 00:47:20,077
that everyone
is back in their universe.
1075
00:47:27,244 --> 00:47:28,844
Mom! Mom!
1076
00:47:28,944 --> 00:47:30,744
What is it, Mrs. Kennedy?
1077
00:47:30,844 --> 00:47:32,277
Oh. Oh, Mom!
1078
00:47:32,377 --> 00:47:34,244
I was just having
the worst nightmare.
1079
00:47:34,344 --> 00:47:36,877
I was me except everyone
around me was different.
1080
00:47:36,977 --> 00:47:38,377
Oh, no, Mrs. Kennedy.
1081
00:47:38,545 --> 00:47:41,944
Here, have some of your favorite
cereal to calm you down.
1082
00:47:42,044 --> 00:47:44,177
Oh, thank you. It was so real.
1083
00:47:44,277 --> 00:47:45,810
All my friends were there
but they'd been
1084
00:47:45,910 --> 00:47:47,144
replaced by strangers.
1085
00:47:47,244 --> 00:47:49,044
I think you were even there
too, Kyle.
1086
00:47:49,144 --> 00:47:51,110
Really? I was there, too?
1087
00:47:51,210 --> 00:47:52,777
Yeah, that's right, Kyle,
you were there
1088
00:47:52,877 --> 00:47:53,944
but you weren't cereal
and I couldn't
1089
00:47:54,044 --> 00:47:55,144
just eat you like I can here.
1090
00:47:56,744 --> 00:47:57,944
No, please, no, Mrs. Kennedy!
1091
00:47:58,044 --> 00:47:59,545
Oh, you're so yummy, Kyle!
1092
00:47:59,644 --> 00:48:01,944
Oh, oh, it's so good to be home.
1093
00:48:02,044 --> 00:48:04,277
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
83214
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