Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
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# When we're winning #
2
00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:49,571
# We'll be singing #
3
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:53,607
#I get knocked down but I get up again #
4
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,341
# You're never gonna keep me down #
5
00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:58,384
#I get knocked down but I get up again #
6
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,248
# You're never gonna keep me down #
7
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,652
#I get knocked down but I get up again #
8
00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:04,849
# You're never gonna keep me down #
9
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,118
#I get knocked down ##
10
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:09,628
Halloween just got awesome, bitches!
11
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,688
Prepare for the entrance of Lord Vader.
12
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:16,292
Give yourself to the Dark Side.
13
00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:19,202
It's the only way you can save...
14
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:21,263
You wore the same thing last year.
15
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:24,674
- You son of a bitch.
- I'm sorry, guys. My codpiece is killing me.
16
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:26,234
It's totally restricting my junk.
17
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,543
You're gonna spill it or fill it, dude?
18
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,345
Zoe.
19
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:33,885
- Hi.
- Oh, my God. It's been a long time.
20
00:02:33,953 --> 00:02:36,421
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
21
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:40,425
You are... something with tampons.
22
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,518
I'm Picasso's Blue Period.
23
00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:45,792
- Get it? Blue Period.
- Hmm.
24
00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:47,992
And you are? Corporate sleaze?
25
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:50,058
Car salesman.
26
00:02:50,136 --> 00:02:52,331
I came straight from work, so this is...
27
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:55,533
- Weak as usual, Bottler.
- Thank you.
28
00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:58,270
Are you here for a
reunion with the boys?
29
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:00,642
Nope. That's just a pleasant surprise.
30
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,112
Watch the cape, uh, uh...
31
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,015
Well, enter at your own risk.
32
00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:07,177
Oh, my God.
33
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,551
You guys have both got to
stop perpetuating this myth...
34
00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:12,352
that Boba Fett is some kind of bad-ass.
35
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:16,020
All right? He has a jet
pack. So did the Rocketeer.
36
00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:18,086
- Really cool.
- Here we go.
37
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:21,565
When it comes time for battle, the man's
Michael Bay... all style, no substance.
38
00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:23,727
If you diss the Fett again...
39
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,771
I will corn-hole you with a lightsaberl
40
00:03:25,838 --> 00:03:27,066
# Whoop, there it is #
41
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,904
- Jesus. Is that Bottler?
- # Whoop, there it is #
42
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:31,443
- Hey, guys.
- # Whoop, there it is #
43
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:36,311
# Whoop, there it is #
44
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:39,146
You got a lot of nerve
showing your face around here.
45
00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:44,479
Give Daddy a huggy.
46
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,991
- Yeah!
- Stop.
47
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,051
You little bastard, I missed you.
48
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,926
I hope that's just
your blaster poking me.
49
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:55,764
- God, it's been parsecs.
- Yeah, it's good to see you too, man.
50
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:59,100
- Linus.
- Hmm.
51
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:02,903
- It's been, like, a year now, right?
- Three.
52
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:06,810
- You still drawing?
- No. I bailed on that shit after high school.
53
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:10,440
- How's life in the auto trade?
- Still second in command to the old man.
54
00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:12,108
Um, you?
55
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,210
Comic book store's still afloat...
56
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,448
but the geeks aren't
biting like the old days.
57
00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:21,221
- You?
- Get my money together so I can start my detailing business.
58
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,285
I'm gonna call it the Hutch Touch.
59
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:27,800
That's funny. I could've sworn you were
delivering pizza and living in your mom's garage.
60
00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:29,425
It's not a garage.
61
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:31,800
It's a carriage house.
62
00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:33,930
Carriage house.
63
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:37,602
How is your carriage?
64
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,882
Ah! Ah! Ah!
65
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:48,387
Hey, uh, have any of you
guys seen the phone jack?
66
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:52,049
Uh, no, but I have seen
the social retard...
67
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,286
who brought his Toughbook to a party.
68
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:58,228
- I promised Rogue Leader I'd write her back tonight.
- Oh, God.
69
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,233
- She is my girlfriend.
- On-line girlfriend.
70
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,828
I met her in a Jedi chat
room. The woman is perfect.
71
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:10,001
She's intelligent and acerbic
and, uh... and a die-hard fan.
72
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,203
She's even got connections
inside the Lucas camp.
73
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,542
Who's also got a man
package and a goatee.
74
00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:17,242
You guys are all just jealous
because she describes herself...
75
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,308
as a cross between
Sarah Michelle Gellar...
76
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:21,353
and Janeane Garofalo.
77
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,150
Tell 'em how you described yourself.
78
00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:25,486
I was perfectly honest with her.
79
00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:28,026
- You said you looked like
a white Billy Dee Williams.
80
00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:30,562
You called yourself white chocolate.
81
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:33,428
I am white chocolate.
82
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,797
Oh, oh! Windows, it's my turn.
83
00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:38,098
- Give it to me.
- Midnight. Another day down.
84
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,230
Ah! Okay.
85
00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:42,399
Official Episode I countdown...
86
00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:46,741
is six months, 12 days,
eight hours and some change.
87
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:50,510
I would sell my soul to see
that movie right here right now.
88
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:53,017
Dude, I would sell my left nut.
And I only have the one nut.
89
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:58,353
- So you see how serious I am?
- I cannot listen to this shit for another six months.
90
00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:01,951
Oh, shush your mouth, woman.
You know, we could see the movie.
91
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:09,362
- Oh, please, not this again.
- Oh, yes, please, this again.
92
00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:11,960
" Tell us about the
rabbits, George. George. "
93
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,938
Imagine.
94
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:15,268
Okay?
95
00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:19,402
We drive across the
country in one night.
96
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:24,314
We break into the Skywalker Ranch...
97
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,648
and steal ourselves a print.
98
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:31,279
Yeahl
99
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:34,417
You guys have been talking about
this since the fifth grade, okay?
100
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:37,088
- It's not gonna happen.
- Why the hell not?
101
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,154
Well, first of all,
it's 2,000 miles away.
102
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,497
Second of all, even if you could
get there, you'd be arrested.
103
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,627
It's been a blast, Bottler.
104
00:06:45,938 --> 00:06:48,463
Way to douche up the party.
105
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,771
Nothing is impossible.
106
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:59,344
And I'll guarantee I'll find you a new
or used car, or my name isn't Big Chuck.
107
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,479
- Right, girls?
- Ooh-hoo!
108
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,113
Hool
109
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,784
Yeahl
110
00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:08,326
All right!
111
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:11,727
Attaboy, Eric. Now, see,
that's some slick advertising.
112
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,163
Thanks, Pop.
113
00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:15,598
Reminds me of, what, that
Terry Bruckheimer movies.
114
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:17,363
Yeah. Top Gun.
115
00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:24,169
- Thanks.
- Hiya, Eric.
116
00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:28,809
I'll handle this, Myron. Thanks.
117
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:31,679
- Hey.
- We're in the market for some used droids.
118
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,776
I should start you guys off
with a new set of wheels first...
119
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,413
unless you're cool riding around
in the same rusted old shit box...
120
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,480
you've had since the 10th grade.
121
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,583
Hey, hey, hey!
122
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,857
She may not look like much, but
she's got it where it counts.
123
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:46,364
Uh, why are you guys here?
124
00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,798
Do you wanna look around the lot a
little bit, drive something? What?
125
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:51,462
No. Uh, we came to talk about Linus.
126
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:54,028
Well, he just needs to
realize that people lose touch.
127
00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:56,574
- That's just kind of the way things work.
- He's dying, Eric.
128
00:07:57,577 --> 00:08:00,671
- What?
- He's got cancer, man.
129
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:05,479
He's tried everything to get
better, but nothing seems to work.
130
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:08,543
Odds say three, four months maybe.
131
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,816
And you guys are telling me this now?
132
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:12,983
We wanted to tell you
months ago, honestly...
133
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,857
but Linus made us promise
not to say anything.
134
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:19,728
The way we see it, you guys have been
best friends since, like, first grade.
135
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:23,394
So we figured you got the right to know.
You got the right to make your peace.
136
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:27,599
How am I supposed to make my peace when
the guy doesn't even want me to know?
137
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,403
With all due respect,
Eric, this isn't about you.
138
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,871
- L... You know what?
- Holy shit.
139
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:39,884
- Jesus Christ. - If it ain't
C-3Penis Face and R2-Dickhead.
140
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:41,943
What did you just
say, you giant bastard?
141
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,080
- Well, well put.
- Thank you.
142
00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:47,057
- Still see you're driving the
nerd-mobile. - Chaz, you're an idiot.
143
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:50,254
Hey, you know what? While you're out
here sticking G.I. Joes up your butt...
144
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:52,889
I convinced Dad to let
me recut the commercial.
145
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:55,024
So suck it. Huh?
146
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:58,628
Aw, see, you flinched. That's
gonna be two, Princess Leia.
147
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,695
Nanu-nanu.
148
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:03,435
Get a haircut.
149
00:09:03,509 --> 00:09:06,876
- We should have killed him when we had the chance.
- Yeah.
150
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:10,473
Jackass. Linus is coming over to
the carriage house later. So are you.
151
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,882
Bye, Eric.
152
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,884
No lightningl No lightningl
153
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:25,519
- Aw, shit. I'm a midget.
- I'm gonna flatten your ass right now.
154
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:29,057
Ah! Suck it, Count Fagula.
155
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:30,932
Wow!
156
00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:33,403
There's no teaming up. That's a rule!
157
00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:35,736
Owl Head crampl
158
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,799
Don't kill me.
159
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,568
- Hey.
- Donkey balls.
160
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:42,477
You made it, man.
161
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:50,045
Your mom said clean up this shit-hole
or no grilled cheese for a week?
162
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:52,181
That's emotional
blackmail, and you know it!
163
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,523
- Screw youl
- I will sue you! Renter's rights!
164
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,758
- You don't pay rentl
- Damn. Damn!
165
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,664
- What the hell is he doing here, man?
- It was Hutch's idea.
166
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:03,759
Grab a controller.
167
00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:05,827
We're ganging up on
Windows in Mario Kart.
168
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:08,931
I can't. I came to
talk to Linus actually.
169
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:12,702
Can I talk to you alone, man?
170
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:18,673
Linus. Hey, stop walking.
Linus! Hold up, man.
171
00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:23,620
- Stop. What the hell, man? I did nothing to you.
- Exactly. You did nothing.
172
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,623
Absolutely nothing.
173
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,784
Eric Bottler graduates high
school and never looks back.
174
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,124
You bailed on our plan, Bottler!
175
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:32,221
What plan? To be the
next big thing in comics?
176
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,289
Come on, man. That
was never gonna happen.
177
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:38,394
I did what I had to do, dude. I
grew up. I'm the only one who did.
178
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,905
- Look at you guys.
- You can fool everybody...
179
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:43,533
with this cheap suit,
salesman-of-the-year pitch.
180
00:10:43,609 --> 00:10:45,634
But I know you better than anybody...
181
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:50,114
and deep down, you are one
miserable son of a bitch.
182
00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:52,980
- Miserable, huh?
- Yeah. Miserable.
183
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:56,385
Miserable is wasting your life in
Hutch's garage playing video games...
184
00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:58,389
arguing whether or not Luke
really had a thing for Leia.
185
00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:02,120
You know as well as anybody...
186
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:06,255
that as soon as Luke knew Leia
was his sister, it was hands off.
187
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,594
They still kiss.
188
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,727
That was Leia kissing
Luke to make Han jealous.
189
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:12,566
That was the second
time. The first time...
190
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:14,629
The first time they're about to die!
191
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:17,767
- They were not, you liar.
- They were swinging 30,000 feet in the air.
192
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,937
You know when you're a sibling,
okay? There's something innate.
193
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:24,244
- There's no telepathy between Luke and Leia till Episode VI.
- It spans the ocean.
194
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:26,443
It was romance in a sci-fi opera!
195
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,680
Who cares about this shit, man? Huh?
196
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:32,588
- Who cares about...
- I do. I care.
197
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:47,630
You need a new car.
198
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:51,302
They were siblings. They were
siblings, you sick bastard!
199
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:57,744
You are trapped now.
200
00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,752
You've made your last mistake.
201
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:13,321
We need to talk.
202
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,458
Sure, Pop. What's up?
203
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:18,796
Okay. Here's the deal.
204
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:22,773
It's time for the world to see
the new face of this company.
205
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:25,436
And his name's Big Eric.
206
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,308
Big Eric who?
207
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:30,280
Big Eric you.
208
00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:33,443
It's all yours, kiddo.
The entire shebang.
209
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:35,851
All 15 locations, from here to Seattle.
210
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:39,618
I mean... Uh, yes.
211
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:42,684
Yeah. I mean, wow.
212
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,822
- Take the hat.
- I can't take your hat.
213
00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,456
Go ahead.
214
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:49,296
No, really. It looks good on you.
215
00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:50,630
- Take the hat.
- But it's really...
216
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:55,140
- Take the damn hat.
- Yeah. I'll wear it for...
217
00:12:55,207 --> 00:12:58,665
My God. Your mom would be so
proud to see you in that hat.
218
00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:00,769
I know, Pop.
219
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:04,543
Hey. You and me? Tanning Tuesdays?
220
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:14,821
You want to take your shirt off.
221
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:23,129
You want to take your shirt off. God.
222
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:26,035
- You wanna take that shirt off?
- Asshole.
223
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:29,040
You have been trying thatJedi mind
shit on me since the eighth grade.
224
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:32,544
- It doesn't work.
- Oh, it works. Tell her, Windows.
225
00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:35,239
- He's been geeking out with
Rogue Leader all morning.
226
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,714
Nothing can tear him away.
227
00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:41,082
- Ah!
- Rogue Leader, you are wicked.
228
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:45,214
Ah, I love the feeling of
fresh air on my naked breasts.
229
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,816
Oh, ho-ho!
230
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:51,192
See that? Man's immune to sweater yams.
231
00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:54,528
What about me? I like sweater yams!
232
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,693
Hey.
233
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,871
What'll it be, fellas?
234
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:12,713
- How much for the phaser gun?
- For the phaser gun?
235
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:16,846
Sorry, Garfunkel. We
don't hock Trek here.
236
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:19,550
Well, then, Slim, if you
don't sell the Trek...
237
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,423
then why do you have a
phaser gun in the case?
238
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:25,793
We keep this one here to suss out
Trekkie bitches like yourself...
239
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,890
and tell them to get
the hell off of our land.
240
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:30,299
So get the hell off of our land.
241
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:34,601
Get the hell off of our land!
Get the hell out of here! Now!
242
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:38,234
Get out ofhere, you
Kirk-lovin'Spock-suckersl
243
00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:47,444
- Hey.
- Hey.
244
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:50,613
You guys know where a guy can pawn
off a first edition Eric Bottler comic?
245
00:14:50,689 --> 00:14:52,384
- Hey!
- Holy cannolis.
246
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,483
Look at that. Yeah. That's awesome.
247
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,996
Dude, you had sick skills back then.
You should've stuck with it, brother.
248
00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:00,759
Yeah. I would've been broke and
living in my parents' garage.
249
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,495
- It's a carriage house.
- Right. I know it is.
250
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,732
I have something else that
you guys might wanna check out.
251
00:15:09,174 --> 00:15:13,235
Well, what have we got here?
252
00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:17,408
Ohio to Califor... Is
this what I think it is?
253
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:19,951
Linus laid the whole
thing out in fifth grade.
254
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:22,920
I figure it's time for
another epic journey, isn't it?
255
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,853
What's your game plan?
256
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,654
We storm the ranch, or we die trying.
257
00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:29,318
Yeah.
258
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,629
Well, you guys were all
about this at the party.
259
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:36,190
- We were six Zimas to the wind at the party.
- Drunk.
260
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:40,295
Come on. You even said the Rogue Leader
has connections inside the ranch, right?
261
00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:43,273
Rogue Leader? Please, man.
Windows never even met him.
262
00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:45,310
- Her!
- Him.
263
00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:48,540
- Maybe it's time that he does.
- Dude, this is a suicide mission, man.
264
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,605
Why would we even try
anything like this?
265
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,810
For Linus.
266
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,286
Huh?
267
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:04,453
No.
268
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:07,055
- No?
- No. I'm not going.
269
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,396
Aw, Linus, you've got to go.
270
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,028
This is a conquest for the ages.
271
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,038
Our names shall become legend...
272
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:17,564
spoken in hushed tones by
nerds across the galaxy.
273
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,736
And we'll get laid.
274
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:24,347
#More than we've ever been laid ##
275
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:33,356
- Okay, please stop that.
- Sorry. I was getting into that.
276
00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:37,721
I just don't wanna go
with Opie over there.
277
00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:41,095
Check this out, man.
278
00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:54,069
Floor plans to the Lucas Ranch.
279
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:57,741
- Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Are you
kidding? How did you get these?
280
00:16:57,816 --> 00:17:00,944
My life partner, Rogue Leader,
she can break us in, man.
281
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,716
The question you got
to ask yourself is...
282
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:06,280
" Do you have the nut sack
to go through with it?"
283
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,729
If I do this, it
doesn't change anything.
284
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,901
I'll grab my suitcase
and some Big League Chew.
285
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,912
- Yes!
- ThunderCats! Ho!
286
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,141
- Told you. I knew he'd go.
- Stop humping.
287
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,706
Please stop humping. Just high five.
288
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:35,777
- Oh, God. I'm Jabba the Hump.
- Oh, goddamn it.
289
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:38,687
- Chewie!
- Chewie! Damn it!
290
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,829
Wait a second. Whoa.
What the hell's Chewie?
291
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:48,492
It's the same rules as shotgun.
Either way, I always lose.
292
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,536
- Furball, you do the honors?
- Yeah.
293
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:56,505
Strap in, fellas.
294
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,073
Whool
295
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,118
What the hell, Hutch? It's all Rush.
296
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:14,182
- Ever want a little variety?
- Rush is variety, bitch.
297
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:16,784
Ohl
298
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:21,231
Rule number one: In my van, it's Rush.
299
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,700
All Rush, all the time.
300
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,168
No exceptions.
301
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,797
Rule number two:
302
00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:30,000
Nobody touch the red button.
303
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:34,307
And I mean never touch the red button.
304
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:38,611
Most importantly,
305
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:40,948
there's no jerking it in my van.
306
00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:43,010
What?
307
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:46,148
Fine.
308
00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:51,489
Don't roll your eyes
at me, Admiral Jackbar.
309
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,558
" Established in 1985...
310
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,727
" the Skywalker Ranch
is the headquarters...
311
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,237
of George Lucas's filmmaking empire. "
312
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,296
So according to Rogue Leader's map...
313
00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:06,572
our best odds for finding the
film is in here... the main house.
314
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:10,308
Oh, my God. That place is legendary.
315
00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:14,045
And we meet Rogue Leader at a coffee
shop in Texas Wednesday, 3:00 p. m. Sharp.
316
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,451
- Mm-hmm. - She's gonna give us
absolutely everything we need...
317
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,547
- to get into the compound.
- Nice.
318
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:20,819
White chocolate finally
gets to meet his dream girl.
319
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:23,726
- Ohl
- Oohl Oohl
320
00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:27,196
Well, according to this, 80
West is our fastest route.
321
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:31,066
So we got 26 hours to
make it to Texas, boys.
322
00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:33,366
Consider it done.
323
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,602
Ah!
324
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:52,889
Wakey, wakey. Hands off steakey.
325
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:57,019
- It's time for Hutch's pit stop.
- Where are we?
326
00:19:57,095 --> 00:20:00,531
Some say heaven. I like to call it Iowa.
327
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:03,033
Iowa? What about Rogue Leader?
328
00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:06,730
- Iowa?
- Yeah. I made a little detour.
329
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:08,739
Hutch, we're supposed
to be going to Texas.
330
00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:10,775
Welcome to Riverside, gentlemen...
331
00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:16,109
future birthplace of one
Captain James T. Kirk.
332
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:19,207
Enemy territory! Nice.
333
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:22,651
Man, you drove all night for this?
334
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,417
Dude, I'd drive all year for the
chance to pimp slap some Trekkies.
335
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,788
You know what? Leave me out of it.
336
00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:34,055
Let's crack some Trekkie skulls!
337
00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:36,066
Let's do itl
338
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:42,899
And it is believed that
on this very spot...
339
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:46,138
Captain James Tiberius
Kirk will be born.
340
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:49,806
Hence, the statue immortalizing him...
341
00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:53,908
grappling with his
most accursed nemesis.
342
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:56,284
Ricardo Montalbán?
343
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:59,415
Genetically engineered tyrant Khan.
344
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:02,255
- It doesn't look like either of them.
- Thank you for pointing that out.
345
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:05,728
That is because the whores at Viacom
International threatened to sue us...
346
00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:08,322
if we used their
likenesses, so we make do.
347
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,164
Yes. The gentleman in the beige.
348
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:15,036
I was wondering what did Sulu
find in Captain Kirk's lavatory.
349
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:20,010
Sulu clearly found a standard issue
Starfleet Z23 personal refuse device.
350
00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:22,603
I believe it was the Captain's log.
351
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,546
Very good.
352
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:28,882
A laugh a day keeps the doctor
away, everyone. We've been saved.
353
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,320
- Ooh.
- Any other comic relief?
354
00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:33,551
- Ah!
- There's still homeless out there.
355
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:36,116
- Hey!
- Yes! What? You! What? Yes.
356
00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:41,029
What is the Klingon translation
for, "You're gonna die a virgin"?
357
00:21:47,839 --> 00:21:51,741
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Hilarious, everyone.
358
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:55,007
Looks like we got more Lucas
hounds here to mock Roddenberry.
359
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,173
Congratulations, gentlemen,
but I would like to see...
360
00:21:57,249 --> 00:22:00,582
your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone.
361
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,018
And we'll see who's
laughing then. Am I right?
362
00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:08,025
Darth Vader can put the entire Borg
collective in a vice grip with his mind.
363
00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:10,323
Uh, Darth Vader has asthma...
364
00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:14,161
so name me one Star Trek character
with a respiratory disease...
365
00:22:14,232 --> 00:22:16,325
'cause I'm drawing a blank.
366
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,164
Name me one Star Wars
character who's gay.
367
00:22:18,236 --> 00:22:19,760
- Yeah.
- Besides you.
368
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:23,103
Well, no one's gay in Star Trek,
so why would I even do that?
369
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,506
Captain Picard.
370
00:22:24,576 --> 00:22:27,545
Captain Picard is not gay. He's British.
371
00:22:27,612 --> 00:22:30,911
- Come on. " Make
it so!" - #Ah-ah ##
372
00:22:30,982 --> 00:22:34,782
I hate to break it to you
losers, but Han Solo's a bitch.
373
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:36,912
Ah, no, he didn't. No, he didn't.
374
00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:39,479
What did you just say?
375
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:44,484
- Is there a problem here?
- Yeah, there sure is, Spock.
376
00:22:44,563 --> 00:22:47,225
The admiral here just
called Han Solo a bitch.
377
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:50,291
- Good one.
- Some pretty strong words for a Trekkie.
378
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,031
A Trekkie is derogatory
at this point in the game.
379
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:55,232
Trekker is what we're
called now. Trekker.
380
00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:57,138
Oh, I'm sorry. Trekkie.
381
00:23:00,445 --> 00:23:02,970
Just take a look-see here.
382
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,743
What's with the man-purse?
383
00:23:04,816 --> 00:23:07,250
Yep. As I thought...
384
00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:11,278
scanner reads " douche bag. "
385
00:23:20,031 --> 00:23:24,127
Push me, I'll kill your whole Starfleet.
386
00:23:24,202 --> 00:23:25,897
Unbelievable!
387
00:23:27,205 --> 00:23:29,070
Snikt! Snitk! Come on, bub!
388
00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:31,132
Attack, you cowards! That's an order!
389
00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:34,635
- Hutch!
- Cover me, Windowsl
390
00:23:38,216 --> 00:23:40,184
Evasive maneuvers! Evasive maneuvers!
391
00:23:57,869 --> 00:24:01,498
- My ear!
- Ha-ha!
392
00:24:01,573 --> 00:24:03,973
Nighty-night,
Spock-sucker.
393
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:09,140
Beam this, bitch!
394
00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:12,547
Time-out! I call
time-out! Time-out!
395
00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:22,888
- Disable their vehicle.
- Get in! Go!
396
00:24:22,961 --> 00:24:25,327
Get in the vanl Get in the vanl
397
00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:26,694
Disable the vehicle.
398
00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:31,462
Kill the Star-roids!
399
00:24:31,536 --> 00:24:34,403
Get theml
400
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:37,636
Han Solo is still a bitch!
401
00:24:37,709 --> 00:24:41,509
Nobody calls Han Solo a bitch.
402
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:48,347
Yeah!
403
00:24:53,725 --> 00:24:57,661
Hey, Bottler, hit 'em
with the pressed ham!
404
00:24:58,797 --> 00:25:01,357
Klingon to this.
405
00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:10,539
Kha-a-a-an!
406
00:25:13,979 --> 00:25:19,007
Kha-a-a-an!
407
00:25:24,289 --> 00:25:27,053
Whoo!
408
00:25:27,125 --> 00:25:29,923
I took that Vulcan down hard.
409
00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:33,260
I rolled him into the dirt
like he was my frickin tauntaun.
410
00:25:33,331 --> 00:25:38,132
Tauntaun, my ass. If it wasn't
for me, you guys would all be dead.
411
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:41,138
What fight were you watching?
I was channeling the emperor.
412
00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:45,370
The emperor? I don't remember the emperor
crapping his robe and screaming "time-out. "
413
00:25:45,443 --> 00:25:48,412
- Oh, my God. That's right. -
There is such a thing as time-out.
414
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:52,075
I can feel your anger growing
inside. Wait. Time-out.
415
00:26:00,525 --> 00:26:04,120
All right. Time-out.
416
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,224
We had to take your van, Hutch.
417
00:26:06,298 --> 00:26:09,995
I have access to literally
thousands of vehicles...
418
00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:12,161
but we had to take your van.
419
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,797
Yeah, well, I had a spare tire...
420
00:26:14,873 --> 00:26:18,309
but some tardo took it out to make
some room for his grappling hook.
421
00:26:18,376 --> 00:26:20,776
What? We're on a covert operation.
422
00:26:20,845 --> 00:26:23,336
How can you be on a covert
operation without a grappling hook?
423
00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,610
Oh! Wait.
424
00:26:25,684 --> 00:26:28,414
What in Greedo's name is that?
425
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:34,423
Talk about a wretched
hive of scum and villainy.
426
00:26:34,492 --> 00:26:36,722
Hmm.
427
00:26:36,795 --> 00:26:39,525
You guys stay right here.
I'll take care of this.
428
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:42,465
How you doing, fellas? Hi, fellas.
429
00:26:42,534 --> 00:26:44,661
So our car broke down
a couple of miles back.
430
00:26:44,736 --> 00:26:47,500
Is there anyone you
know who can help us?
431
00:26:47,572 --> 00:26:49,870
No.
432
00:26:49,941 --> 00:26:53,308
Can I have some water?
433
00:26:53,378 --> 00:26:54,777
Yeah, a glass of water, please.
434
00:26:54,846 --> 00:26:56,871
Great.
435
00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:04,347
Pirate teeth. Pirate teeth.
436
00:27:04,422 --> 00:27:06,515
- Pirate teeth. Don't.
- Thank you.
437
00:27:06,591 --> 00:27:08,286
A hundred bucks.
438
00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:12,057
For a glass of water? That's
ridiculous. I'm not gonna pay that.
439
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:13,859
Sure you will.
440
00:27:13,932 --> 00:27:16,833
Hell, no. Hell, no.
Back up, buddy. Back off.
441
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:21,697
Word to the wise, ese.
442
00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:26,437
- Oohl - Drop the tough-ass
biker routine before I get angry.
443
00:27:26,511 --> 00:27:28,672
And you won't like me when I'm angry.
444
00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:30,840
Hmm, I think I would.
445
00:27:30,915 --> 00:27:32,940
- Hutch, let's not do this.
- Hutch, maybe...
446
00:27:33,018 --> 00:27:34,576
Nah. Nah. Nah.
447
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:38,521
This guy wants to dick
with me, fine. I can dick.
448
00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:44,324
I used to rape guys 15
times your size in prison.
449
00:27:44,396 --> 00:27:46,921
So you best back off...
450
00:27:46,998 --> 00:27:50,024
- or, so help me God, I'm gonna pound your ass so hard...
- Oh, Jesus.
451
00:27:50,101 --> 00:27:51,932
- No. Hutch.
- What?
452
00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:54,233
- There's kind of a thing in this bar. Like that.
- See?
453
00:27:54,305 --> 00:27:57,741
Lxnay on the ass pounding.
454
00:28:01,279 --> 00:28:03,543
A hundred dollars? That's cool.
455
00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:07,676
Afraid it's too late for that, ese.
456
00:28:07,752 --> 00:28:11,051
Our midnight entertainment bailed.
457
00:28:11,122 --> 00:28:13,113
Time to pay for that drink.
458
00:28:15,293 --> 00:28:19,252
Oh, dear God. We're gonna
die up here, aren't we?
459
00:28:20,932 --> 00:28:22,957
We have to strip to Menudo?
460
00:28:24,202 --> 00:28:27,296
You got a problem with
Menudo? Now, take it off!
461
00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:34,345
That's it, man!
462
00:28:34,412 --> 00:28:36,573
" Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"
463
00:28:37,949 --> 00:28:40,474
You want some Swayze action, bitches?
464
00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:42,782
Yeah! You like that, huh?
465
00:28:42,854 --> 00:28:47,049
Whoo!
466
00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:57,929
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do
it, and you're gonna like it!
467
00:29:00,505 --> 00:29:02,735
He's got one ball. Un testÃculo.
468
00:29:02,807 --> 00:29:06,072
Oh, that's disgusting.
469
00:29:06,144 --> 00:29:09,671
Okay, I had a...
470
00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:13,240
torrid lightsaber battle
went wrong when I was a child.
471
00:29:13,318 --> 00:29:17,084
All right, all right, all
right. Show's over, fellas.
472
00:29:20,558 --> 00:29:23,755
- You boys took a wrong turn?
- Our car broke down.
473
00:29:23,828 --> 00:29:26,592
The Chief can fix it.
474
00:29:26,664 --> 00:29:28,757
The Chief?
475
00:29:41,179 --> 00:29:44,808
This is some kick-ass
guac you whipped up, man.
476
00:29:47,051 --> 00:29:48,848
- I feel funny.
- Tingly.
477
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,287
- I feel good.
- Karate is cool.
478
00:29:58,463 --> 00:30:01,296
Guys, I don't think we're eating...
479
00:30:01,366 --> 00:30:04,699
your everyday garden-variety guacamole.
480
00:30:04,769 --> 00:30:06,794
I got recipe from Emeril.
481
00:30:06,871 --> 00:30:10,807
Avocado, onion, chopped garlic... Bam!
482
00:30:10,875 --> 00:30:12,740
- Bam!
- Bam!
483
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,972
And the Chief's secret ingredient.
484
00:30:15,046 --> 00:30:18,573
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
485
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:20,345
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
486
00:30:20,418 --> 00:30:22,579
- What?
- What?
487
00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:25,646
There's an ewok right beside you.
488
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:31,527
Oh, wow. She's humping your
leg. It's humping your leg.
489
00:30:32,931 --> 00:30:35,331
She's humping your leg. I love you.
490
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,095
Wahh!
491
00:30:44,576 --> 00:30:49,377
Death is but a path to life,
a passage to the stars...
492
00:30:49,447 --> 00:30:51,438
to the universe.
493
00:30:51,516 --> 00:30:53,780
I know what you mean.
494
00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:56,878
You mean the Force.
495
00:30:56,955 --> 00:30:59,924
The Force.
496
00:30:59,991 --> 00:31:03,449
Guys, my dad is gonna kill me
if I don't get to work on Monday.
497
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:08,124
Putz. Screw it, man.
498
00:31:16,207 --> 00:31:17,970
- No!
- Join me, Son.
499
00:31:19,510 --> 00:31:22,206
Come to the Dark Side.
500
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,612
- The Dark Side.
- No! No!
501
00:31:32,323 --> 00:31:35,952
Rogue Leader.
502
00:31:36,027 --> 00:31:38,427
What the hell you doing,
man? You're poking me.
503
00:31:38,496 --> 00:31:40,828
Oh, God. Don't flatter yourself, okay?
504
00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:42,423
It's just my R2. My lucky R2.
505
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:45,697
Man, you wish you had the
height and girth of D2.
506
00:31:48,139 --> 00:31:51,165
- Yeahl
- Wowl
507
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:54,336
Hah! Van!
508
00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:57,939
Son of a whore! The Buce is back.
509
00:31:59,017 --> 00:32:01,485
The Chief fixed it
while you were asleep.
510
00:32:01,552 --> 00:32:04,578
The Chief fixed it. Is he
around? Can we thank him?
511
00:32:06,157 --> 00:32:08,751
He's the Chief. You're
the Chief, aren't you?
512
00:32:08,826 --> 00:32:13,854
- Why didn't you say so?
- The Chief likes to refer to himself in the third person.
513
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,696
It causes confusion,
especially with the bitches.
514
00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:21,432
Well, you're cool as balls,
you burned-out old hash-head.
515
00:32:21,506 --> 00:32:24,134
Wonder Twins power activate.
516
00:32:25,343 --> 00:32:27,777
It's been interesting.
517
00:32:29,347 --> 00:32:31,679
Thanks.
518
00:32:31,749 --> 00:32:33,842
You need it more than I do.
519
00:32:33,918 --> 00:32:36,318
Wow. Thank you. I, uh...
520
00:32:38,556 --> 00:32:41,024
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
521
00:32:42,126 --> 00:32:44,117
Who's up for Texas, boys?
522
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:47,564
#Lump was limp and lonely
and needed a shove #
523
00:32:47,598 --> 00:32:51,159
#Lump slipped on a kiss
and tumbled into love #
524
00:32:51,235 --> 00:32:54,261
#She spent her 20s between the sheets #
525
00:32:54,339 --> 00:32:58,139
#Life limped along at subsonic speeds #
526
00:32:58,209 --> 00:33:01,372
- #She's lump, she's lump She's in my head #
- Hi.
527
00:33:03,881 --> 00:33:06,145
- Hey...
- #She's lump, she's lump, she's lump #
528
00:33:06,217 --> 00:33:08,242
- Yeah!
- #She might be dead #
529
00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:13,685
#Ah #
530
00:33:13,758 --> 00:33:16,989
#Bah Ba-ba,
ba-da-da-da #
531
00:33:17,061 --> 00:33:20,189
#Bah #
532
00:33:20,264 --> 00:33:24,257
- Yes! - #Bah,
ba-ba, ba-da-da-da #
533
00:33:24,335 --> 00:33:27,202
Thank you for the blue balls, ladiesl
534
00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:41,774
Harrison Ford is the
greatest actor of all timel
535
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:43,844
In the history of cinema?
536
00:33:43,921 --> 00:33:46,788
He's Han Solo, Indiana Jones. Yes!
537
00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:49,122
- Deckard from Blade Runner.
- Yes. Exactly.
538
00:33:49,193 --> 00:33:51,218
Greatest actor of all time.
539
00:33:51,295 --> 00:33:54,560
He's never done a bad movie.
540
00:33:57,602 --> 00:33:59,797
Does that sign say " electric
fence"? Watch this. Ready?
541
00:34:04,075 --> 00:34:06,600
#Is this lump outta my head ##
542
00:34:06,677 --> 00:34:09,976
Let's just hope she's still here.
543
00:34:12,116 --> 00:34:14,414
Oh, she'll be here.
544
00:34:14,485 --> 00:34:18,319
Give her a taste of
that white chocolate.
545
00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:19,879
What do you think?
546
00:34:19,957 --> 00:34:21,720
Oh, my God.
547
00:34:21,793 --> 00:34:23,055
- 'Toid me.
- You ready?
548
00:34:23,127 --> 00:34:26,153
- Yeah. Thank you.
- Nice.
549
00:34:26,230 --> 00:34:28,323
Go get her.
550
00:34:40,878 --> 00:34:45,611
# Where have you been
all my life, sweet baby #
551
00:34:45,683 --> 00:34:47,514
#Girl, I've been waiting #
552
00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:51,419
#For a while now #
553
00:34:51,489 --> 00:34:55,186
- Hi there.
- # Yes, I have #
554
00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:57,750
- Oh, my God!
- # There's a star in the sky #
555
00:34:57,829 --> 00:34:59,626
# That shines brightly on you #
556
00:34:59,697 --> 00:35:03,565
# When that pretty dress
that you're wearing #
557
00:35:03,634 --> 00:35:06,762
#Makes you so fine ##
558
00:35:06,838 --> 00:35:08,806
Rogue Leader, I presume?
559
00:35:08,873 --> 00:35:10,272
Red 6?
560
00:35:10,341 --> 00:35:13,310
Let me just put my glasses on.
561
00:35:13,377 --> 00:35:14,867
What the hell?
562
00:35:16,681 --> 00:35:18,615
You're a kid. You're 12.
563
00:35:18,683 --> 00:35:20,617
- I'm 10.
- You're 10?
564
00:35:20,685 --> 00:35:24,712
I'm a pedophile! I'm a pedophile!
565
00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:26,848
- I'm a pedophile!
- Give us a moment, please.
566
00:35:26,924 --> 00:35:29,688
I have to leave this state at once.
567
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,955
Yea! Yea!
568
00:35:32,029 --> 00:35:34,156
That was fantastic.
569
00:35:34,232 --> 00:35:36,564
We drove a thousand miles, Windows.
570
00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:38,158
A thousand. For what?
571
00:35:38,236 --> 00:35:41,399
So you can get funky with
Strawberry Shortcakes?
572
00:35:41,472 --> 00:35:43,497
It's not really sex if it's cyber-sex.
573
00:35:43,574 --> 00:35:46,441
Relax. We're gonna sit down. We're
gonna put on our thinking caps.
574
00:35:46,511 --> 00:35:48,536
- And we're gonna get a better plan.
- No, it's...
575
00:35:48,613 --> 00:35:51,081
I have to be back by Monday.
576
00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:54,175
I haven't told you
guys this yet, but my...
577
00:35:54,252 --> 00:35:56,379
My dad gave me the company.
578
00:35:56,454 --> 00:35:58,615
- Hey!
- Thanks, man.
579
00:35:58,689 --> 00:36:00,748
Yeah, the whole thing. The
whole thing is mine now.
580
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:04,591
What's the new game plan?
581
00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:06,653
Let's get in the van and
get the hell out of here.
582
00:36:06,731 --> 00:36:10,292
- This is just a minor setback.
- It's a minor setback for you.
583
00:36:10,368 --> 00:36:13,269
I live in the real world,
okay? I have to go back to work.
584
00:36:13,337 --> 00:36:16,932
You have to go back
to... your mom's garage.
585
00:36:20,578 --> 00:36:23,741
- It's a carriage house.
- It's a garage, man.
586
00:36:23,814 --> 00:36:25,406
- Say it again.
- It's a garage.
587
00:36:25,483 --> 00:36:26,882
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Guysl
588
00:36:26,951 --> 00:36:30,512
- Holding my schlong!
- Okay! Okay.
589
00:36:30,588 --> 00:36:33,352
- Harry Knowles.
- Harry who?
590
00:36:33,424 --> 00:36:36,916
- Hello.
- This man is the ultimate fanboy, Eric.
591
00:36:36,994 --> 00:36:41,693
His Web site "A in't it Cool News"
is like every geek's homepage.
592
00:36:41,766 --> 00:36:43,859
Which one of you's Windows?
593
00:36:43,935 --> 00:36:45,562
Me.
594
00:36:45,636 --> 00:36:47,729
I'm Windows.
595
00:36:47,805 --> 00:36:49,898
- Nice to meet you...
- Ohl
596
00:36:49,974 --> 00:36:52,966
Back off!
597
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:55,774
- Oh, God!
- Ohh!
598
00:36:57,348 --> 00:37:00,579
Harry Knowles is kicking Windows's ass.
599
00:37:03,254 --> 00:37:05,245
Now, you listen to me, perv.
600
00:37:05,323 --> 00:37:09,885
If you ever e-mail my niece again,
I will hunt you down like a T-1000.
601
00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:13,294
Okay, Mr. Knowles, he
didn't know... Okay.
602
00:37:13,364 --> 00:37:15,662
- You will release my friends.
- Back!
603
00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:19,134
We wanted to break into the Skywalker Ranch.
Kimmy said she'd give us the floor plans.
604
00:37:19,203 --> 00:37:22,138
We were gonna break in and
steal Episode I, that's it.
605
00:37:22,206 --> 00:37:25,471
That is the stupidest thing I've heard
since Schumacher put nips on Batman.
606
00:37:25,543 --> 00:37:28,637
- Ohh!
- These aren't the droids you're looking for, man.
607
00:37:28,713 --> 00:37:31,841
- Heh!
- Anybody else have any stupid comments?
608
00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:35,909
It's very stupid, but true. We've been
planning this since we were like six.
609
00:37:35,987 --> 00:37:37,614
Listen. Harry, Harry, Harry.
610
00:37:37,688 --> 00:37:41,021
If you help us out, we'll give you
all the exclusive spoilers and all.
611
00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:43,856
- Okay?
- Ohh.
612
00:37:46,364 --> 00:37:49,856
That's an interesting offer.
Episode Vwas directed by who?
613
00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:51,526
- Irvin Kershner. -
That was just a warm-up.
614
00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:55,003
You. In Episode VI when Leia
shoots down two scout troopers...
615
00:37:55,072 --> 00:37:57,370
why doesn't she take one of the
speeder bikes instead of walking?
616
00:37:57,441 --> 00:37:59,602
If you pay attention closely,
the speeder bikes were destroyed.
617
00:37:59,677 --> 00:38:01,668
And then Luke refers to it
later on in the dialogue.
618
00:38:01,746 --> 00:38:04,374
Impressive. I wasn't really
worried about you though.
619
00:38:06,250 --> 00:38:09,617
What was Luke Skywalker's call sign
during the rebel assault in Episode IV?
620
00:38:09,687 --> 00:38:11,678
Red 5.
621
00:38:11,756 --> 00:38:16,489
You are all only as strong
as your weakest link.
622
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,085
Hello, weakest link.
623
00:38:19,163 --> 00:38:23,156
- What?
- What is the name of Chewbacca's home planet?
624
00:38:23,234 --> 00:38:27,068
- It's never discussed in
the movies. That's not fair.
625
00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:28,799
I know. I know.
626
00:38:28,873 --> 00:38:31,341
Do you give up?
627
00:38:36,614 --> 00:38:38,878
Come on, man. Say it.
628
00:38:38,949 --> 00:38:43,318
Kashyyyk. Kashyyyk. Chewie's
home planet is Kashyyyk.
629
00:38:45,556 --> 00:38:47,854
Chewie's home planet is Kashyyyk.
630
00:38:47,925 --> 00:38:51,326
Well played, boys. I'll help you.
631
00:38:51,395 --> 00:38:53,693
You're gonna meet my friend in Vegas.
632
00:38:53,764 --> 00:38:56,699
- He's got everything you need. Okay?
- Okay.
633
00:38:56,767 --> 00:38:59,827
- How will we know who he is?
- Oh, don't worry. You'll know.
634
00:38:59,904 --> 00:39:03,499
The password: Scruffy Nerfherder.
635
00:39:03,574 --> 00:39:06,202
- Scruffy Nerfherder.
- Good luck, boys.
636
00:39:06,277 --> 00:39:08,711
Nice detailing.
637
00:39:08,779 --> 00:39:11,077
We're going to Vegas, fellas.
638
00:39:14,585 --> 00:39:17,383
Hey, Hutch, you mind slowing down?
639
00:39:17,455 --> 00:39:20,015
Sorry. I don't speak jagoff.
640
00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:23,185
I just thought it might be
nice to get to Vegas alive.
641
00:39:23,260 --> 00:39:25,353
Are you kidding me?
642
00:39:27,598 --> 00:39:29,259
We got Imperial bacon.
643
00:39:31,402 --> 00:39:34,894
Okay, probably not the best
time to tell you guys this...
644
00:39:34,972 --> 00:39:37,839
but, uh, there's a giant bag of
peyote in the back of the van.
645
00:39:37,908 --> 00:39:39,899
- What?
- Excuse me?
646
00:39:42,146 --> 00:39:44,137
The Chief gave it to me.
647
00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:46,240
Hutch, just pull over and
get the ticket, man, okay?
648
00:39:46,317 --> 00:39:49,650
We can't pull over with a
big-ass bag of peyote on us.
649
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:51,779
Pull over and stopl
650
00:39:51,856 --> 00:39:54,552
Do what he says, Hutch.
Do what he says, Hutch.
651
00:39:54,625 --> 00:39:57,594
- Don't do what he says.
- Do what he says, Hutch.
652
00:39:57,661 --> 00:40:00,755
- It's gonna be okay, fellas. It's gonna be okay.
- Pull over, man.
653
00:40:00,831 --> 00:40:02,628
Suck my exhaust, pork rind!
654
00:40:07,304 --> 00:40:08,965
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, Jesus!
655
00:40:09,039 --> 00:40:12,440
- Talk to me, Goose.
- Talk to you? He's back.
656
00:40:12,510 --> 00:40:14,341
- He found us!
- God!
657
00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:17,438
- Move this piece of shit!
- You don't call my van a piece of shit!
658
00:40:17,515 --> 00:40:20,006
- Well?
- Hey, ladies, ladies!
659
00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:21,847
You got to break rule number two.
660
00:40:21,919 --> 00:40:24,911
- Chewie, prepare to make the jump to hyperspace.
- Yes!
661
00:40:24,989 --> 00:40:27,753
Okay, I'm ready.
662
00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:32,494
Somebody tell me what the
goddamn red button's for!
663
00:40:32,563 --> 00:40:35,088
It's light speed, kid.
664
00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:37,293
- Light speed?
- Yeah.
665
00:40:37,368 --> 00:40:39,495
Punch it!
666
00:40:39,570 --> 00:40:42,095
What the... Come on!
667
00:40:42,173 --> 00:40:45,540
- You're not gonna do this to me now.
- No. Okay, I'm resetting.
668
00:40:45,609 --> 00:40:47,509
Light speed. Impressive.
669
00:40:47,578 --> 00:40:49,546
I put a tank of nitrous in
this thing. It's not firing.
670
00:40:49,613 --> 00:40:52,173
- Hutch, please do something.
- Hutch!
671
00:40:52,249 --> 00:40:56,276
Damn it.
672
00:41:00,257 --> 00:41:01,724
Whoo!
673
00:41:01,792 --> 00:41:03,521
Oh, my God!
674
00:41:04,528 --> 00:41:06,655
It's working! Whoo!
675
00:41:08,732 --> 00:41:12,031
- Stay on target! Stay on target!
- Oh, Godl
676
00:41:12,102 --> 00:41:13,660
Oh, shit!
677
00:41:27,351 --> 00:41:29,911
I probably shouldn't have
called that cop a fag.
678
00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:33,081
I think he took it the wrong way.
679
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:35,819
Breakfast.
680
00:41:35,893 --> 00:41:38,418
- Oh, God.
- Ow!
681
00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:40,930
- Jesus!
- Oh, God.
682
00:41:42,399 --> 00:41:43,923
Ham and cheese.
683
00:41:46,537 --> 00:41:50,769
Well, look on the bright side, you
guys. This trip can't get any worse.
684
00:41:52,376 --> 00:41:54,003
It just did, boys.
685
00:41:55,246 --> 00:41:57,714
- What?
- I got to drop a sewer pickle.
686
00:41:57,781 --> 00:42:01,012
Yeah, I got to throw her into reverse.
687
00:42:01,085 --> 00:42:03,451
Bottler, give me your sandwich, bro.
688
00:42:04,955 --> 00:42:06,946
Hook me up. Another one.
689
00:42:07,024 --> 00:42:09,049
- What's the sandwich for?
- I don't know.
690
00:42:09,126 --> 00:42:12,289
I'm not gonna sit on this.
691
00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:14,263
- Oh, Hutch!
- Jesus.
692
00:42:14,331 --> 00:42:17,300
It's crawling with criminal ass germs.
693
00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:20,303
- Just hover, man. -
Okay, listen up, pre-pubes.
694
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:24,307
You got a visitor... Sweet can of corn.
695
00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:28,209
What are you doing with that ham sandwich,
boy? It's not right what you're doing.
696
00:42:28,279 --> 00:42:30,713
Hutch, you owe me a sock.
697
00:42:30,781 --> 00:42:33,773
I had to wipe with something.
698
00:42:33,851 --> 00:42:37,787
You pussies owe me, big time.
699
00:42:37,855 --> 00:42:41,450
- Oh, Zoe, thank God.
- We weren't sure if you'd gotten our message.
700
00:42:41,525 --> 00:42:45,985
If by message you mean Windows shrieking into
my answering machine like a little girl...
701
00:42:46,063 --> 00:42:48,554
- then yes, message received.
- You don't know what we've been through.
702
00:42:48,632 --> 00:42:51,328
Hutch just took a dump in front of us.
703
00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:54,633
Yeah. That's life inside the big house.
704
00:42:54,705 --> 00:42:57,105
Zoe, promise me you brought the money.
705
00:42:57,174 --> 00:42:59,165
I cleared out every cent
Windows had in the comic store.
706
00:42:59,243 --> 00:43:01,837
- You what?
- Oh! Don't even speak.
707
00:43:01,912 --> 00:43:05,541
I took two taxis, an airplane
and an all-night bus ride...
708
00:43:05,616 --> 00:43:08,949
next to an old man that I am
pretty sure had a full diaper.
709
00:43:09,019 --> 00:43:11,487
Hey, hey, okay. Okay,
visiting time's over.
710
00:43:11,555 --> 00:43:14,581
The judge wants to see y'all
in his private chambers.
711
00:43:14,658 --> 00:43:17,024
Oh, yeah. Just one more thing.
712
00:43:17,094 --> 00:43:20,120
Whatever you do, do not
make fun of his name.
713
00:43:20,197 --> 00:43:23,223
Let me see if I got this right.
714
00:43:23,300 --> 00:43:25,530
Now, you tried to outrun
an officer of the law...
715
00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:28,436
because you obtained a bag of
peyote from a Mexican Indian chief...
716
00:43:28,505 --> 00:43:33,272
who thought it would help treat
your friend's terminal illness?
717
00:43:33,344 --> 00:43:35,505
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
718
00:43:35,579 --> 00:43:38,776
I'm gonna let you boys go.
719
00:43:38,849 --> 00:43:41,477
Not because I believe you.
720
00:43:41,552 --> 00:43:44,453
- Because I believe your father.
- My father?
721
00:43:44,521 --> 00:43:47,285
- Mm-hmm. - You actually
spoke with my dad?
722
00:43:47,358 --> 00:43:48,848
Sure did.
723
00:43:48,926 --> 00:43:51,554
He wanted me to give you this message.
724
00:43:51,629 --> 00:43:53,119
Approach the bench.
725
00:44:03,540 --> 00:44:06,065
Have a nice day, son.
726
00:44:07,344 --> 00:44:11,804
Yeah. Man's gone carbonite freeze on us.
727
00:44:11,882 --> 00:44:14,817
We got to be in Vegas
in less than 24 hours.
728
00:44:14,885 --> 00:44:18,548
All right. I'm gonna go
smack some sense into the boy.
729
00:44:18,622 --> 00:44:20,647
Whoa. Cut him some slack.
730
00:44:20,724 --> 00:44:22,521
Okay.
731
00:44:22,593 --> 00:44:26,791
I just mapped out our route
to Vegas on my Toughbook...
732
00:44:26,864 --> 00:44:29,731
and the closest airport's about
a hundred miles north of here.
733
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,928
So all we got to do is
drop the ol' Zoe off...
734
00:44:33,003 --> 00:44:35,028
and then it's a straight
shot to Sin City.
735
00:44:35,105 --> 00:44:37,539
Ho! Hold on.
736
00:44:37,608 --> 00:44:39,906
You haul my ass out into
the middle of nowhere...
737
00:44:39,977 --> 00:44:42,411
and expect me to just jump
on the first plane back?
738
00:44:42,479 --> 00:44:44,379
Sorry. It's not gonna happen.
739
00:44:44,448 --> 00:44:46,507
Come on. You know this trip is men only.
740
00:44:46,583 --> 00:44:48,210
I tell you what.
741
00:44:48,285 --> 00:44:52,745
I'll get on the plane if any
one of you can take me down.
742
00:44:52,823 --> 00:44:55,155
Listen, Princess.
743
00:44:55,225 --> 00:44:58,058
No one wants to see you get hurt.
744
00:44:58,128 --> 00:45:00,119
I'm gonna get Botts.
745
00:45:04,101 --> 00:45:06,968
- Get off of mel
- Oh, my Godl
746
00:45:07,037 --> 00:45:09,164
- Be a man, Hutch.
- Get her off of me!
747
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:11,298
- Hutch, say " time-out.
" - Don't just stand there!
748
00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:13,400
Shoot herl Somebody shoot herl
749
00:45:13,477 --> 00:45:16,776
- Help me, for God sake! God help me!
- Gentlemen.
750
00:45:16,847 --> 00:45:19,077
- Get the jaws oflifel
- I'm good.
751
00:45:19,149 --> 00:45:22,243
Welcome aboard.
752
00:45:24,321 --> 00:45:27,085
- Now go get Eric.
- Yes, sir!
753
00:45:27,157 --> 00:45:29,523
And be nice.
754
00:45:31,261 --> 00:45:34,094
You're lucky I have a crush on you.
755
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,134
Yo, Botts, you okay?
756
00:45:40,971 --> 00:45:44,168
You know, I could do
this... start a life here.
757
00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:47,210
Clean slate. Fresh air.
758
00:45:47,277 --> 00:45:50,269
No pressure, no responsibility.
759
00:45:50,347 --> 00:45:53,111
Yeah, it seems nice, man.
760
00:45:53,183 --> 00:45:56,812
In theory it sounds nice.
761
00:45:59,623 --> 00:46:04,390
I bet there's not even like a Blockbuster
Video within 500 miles of here.
762
00:46:04,461 --> 00:46:06,452
Or like a Falafel Hut or...
763
00:46:06,530 --> 00:46:09,294
Guys, shut up.
764
00:46:10,567 --> 00:46:13,695
I just figured if I...
765
00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:17,070
worked hard and...
766
00:46:17,141 --> 00:46:19,871
sold enough cars and impressed
my dad enough times, I'd...
767
00:46:21,378 --> 00:46:24,814
I'd feel something.
768
00:46:24,882 --> 00:46:28,511
You gotta find your Death Star.
769
00:46:30,387 --> 00:46:32,321
Okay, I'll bite.
770
00:46:32,389 --> 00:46:35,881
Greatest deed Luke Skywalker ever did...
771
00:46:35,959 --> 00:46:38,223
was take down the Death Star, right?
772
00:46:38,295 --> 00:46:41,731
As far as I'm concerned,
that's what everybody needs.
773
00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:45,633
You need that one bad-ass thing...
774
00:46:47,704 --> 00:46:50,468
that lets you live on forever, you know.
775
00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:54,577
Yeah.
776
00:46:59,149 --> 00:47:02,516
Hey, Spice Girlsl
777
00:47:02,586 --> 00:47:05,453
Are you gonna swap recipes all day?
778
00:47:05,522 --> 00:47:07,854
Vegas awaits, ladies.
779
00:47:10,394 --> 00:47:12,487
- Wow!
- Sweet!
780
00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:21,028
And here's where you learn
how to do Vegas, fanboy style.
781
00:47:22,806 --> 00:47:25,570
You guys thinking what I'm thinking?
782
00:47:25,642 --> 00:47:29,043
They are everywhere, Giles.
783
00:47:31,081 --> 00:47:33,515
Mama, star people.
784
00:47:35,686 --> 00:47:38,382
This is so gay.
785
00:47:38,455 --> 00:47:40,946
Ow!
786
00:47:41,024 --> 00:47:43,185
Let me get that for you.
787
00:47:44,828 --> 00:47:48,696
You, uh... You might
wanna hit the showers.
788
00:47:48,765 --> 00:47:51,632
'Cause you smell like
something shit in my nose.
789
00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:54,193
- Yes, Your Highnessness.
- Ewl
790
00:47:54,271 --> 00:47:58,230
What in God's name is living on your
chest? It looks like you fell on ALF.
791
00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:03,274
- Godl
- Look who's back in uniform.
792
00:48:03,347 --> 00:48:07,283
- Nice.
- Yeah, it's almost 8:00, so we gotta go meet Harry's contact.
793
00:48:07,351 --> 00:48:09,512
Then let's go.
794
00:48:09,586 --> 00:48:11,816
- You guys coming?
- I'll catch up with you guys later.
795
00:48:11,889 --> 00:48:15,325
I'm just gonna do a bit of
pillagin' the tables first.
796
00:48:17,461 --> 00:48:19,395
- Twenty-two.
Loser. - Ah, Jesus!
797
00:48:19,463 --> 00:48:22,227
That is mathematically impossible.
798
00:48:22,299 --> 00:48:24,426
I must have the worst luck
in the northern hemisphere.
799
00:48:24,501 --> 00:48:26,492
I heard about the Rogue Leader debacle.
800
00:48:26,570 --> 00:48:28,629
- That's one for the record books.
- Hey.
801
00:48:28,705 --> 00:48:33,074
A cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and
Janeane Garofalo, it's too good to be true.
802
00:48:33,143 --> 00:48:36,271
I just have to face the
facts, Zoe. I'm 24 years old...
803
00:48:36,346 --> 00:48:38,974
and I've only ever
copulated with one woman.
804
00:48:39,049 --> 00:48:41,313
Plenty of guys have
only been with one woman.
805
00:48:41,385 --> 00:48:44,445
I don't know that many women to
have only been with one woman.
806
00:48:44,521 --> 00:48:48,514
I, uh... I'm female kryptonite.
807
00:48:49,559 --> 00:48:51,823
Look, you're fine around me.
808
00:48:51,895 --> 00:48:55,956
Well, yeah, of course
I am. That's 'cause...
809
00:48:56,033 --> 00:48:58,365
you are not a girl.
810
00:48:58,435 --> 00:49:00,869
You know what I mean?
811
00:49:00,938 --> 00:49:02,929
No. Please enlighten me.
812
00:49:03,006 --> 00:49:06,271
You know every Bond villain, you
constantly quote Clash of the Titans...
813
00:49:06,343 --> 00:49:09,141
and you've beat every Zelda
game Nintendo's ever released.
814
00:49:09,212 --> 00:49:13,148
- I mean...
- Dude, dude, dude. Three o'clock, man.
815
00:49:13,216 --> 00:49:16,447
Hotties on the slotties.
816
00:49:33,437 --> 00:49:36,600
I would knock the
nickels out of that pussy!
817
00:49:36,673 --> 00:49:40,040
Dude, you're gonna be my Dak
today, all right? Follow my lead.
818
00:49:40,110 --> 00:49:45,207
- Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa. You wanna just talk to them?
- Yeah. It's called having balls.
819
00:49:45,282 --> 00:49:48,718
Or in your case, one ball. Come
on. Eric and Linus are waiting.
820
00:49:48,785 --> 00:49:51,618
What are you, the wife? Let's go.
821
00:49:51,688 --> 00:49:54,816
- Wait. You're going over there?
- Uh...
822
00:49:54,891 --> 00:49:57,883
Turns out you're more
clueless than you think.
823
00:49:57,961 --> 00:50:00,486
- Apparently, so am I.
- What does that mean? Zoe!
824
00:50:00,564 --> 00:50:03,431
- Zoel
- Come on.
825
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:06,162
- Pardon me.
- Hi there.
826
00:50:06,236 --> 00:50:08,329
- Hello. How are you?
- Hi.
827
00:50:08,405 --> 00:50:11,897
- Hi.
- Ladies.
828
00:50:11,975 --> 00:50:15,843
You ladies looking for
love in Alderaan places?
829
00:50:15,912 --> 00:50:20,042
- Excuse me?
- Alderaan is the last planet destroyed by the Death Star...
830
00:50:20,117 --> 00:50:22,950
Bomba, bomba, bomba!
Dat-dat-dat-dat-dat-dat! Daniel-san.
831
00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:26,786
What my socially retarded
friend was trying to say...
832
00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:29,758
was that we'd like to maybe
buy you two gals a beverage.
833
00:50:29,826 --> 00:50:32,021
- Sure.
- Sure.
834
00:50:32,095 --> 00:50:35,030
Oh, my God. Wow.
835
00:50:35,098 --> 00:50:38,226
You know, uh, Eric and
Linus are waiting for us.
836
00:50:38,301 --> 00:50:41,464
I think that they're
going to understand.
837
00:50:41,538 --> 00:50:44,666
They're going to understand.
838
00:50:44,741 --> 00:50:48,074
Where are they, man? It's
almost... It's almost 8:00!
839
00:50:48,145 --> 00:50:51,581
I don't know where they are, but we
don't have time to wait for 'em. Come on.
840
00:50:51,648 --> 00:50:53,912
Convention room's this way. Let's go.
841
00:51:00,624 --> 00:51:02,683
- Rak nonl
- Yes, sir!
842
00:51:02,759 --> 00:51:04,989
Phasers on stun.
843
00:51:05,062 --> 00:51:08,122
Being the C.E.O. Of my own company...
844
00:51:08,198 --> 00:51:10,166
I'm not gonna lie to
you, I get a lot of perks.
845
00:51:10,233 --> 00:51:12,531
I got a big-ass mansion, you know.
846
00:51:12,602 --> 00:51:15,264
I got a butler... Maurice.
847
00:51:15,338 --> 00:51:20,207
Bentley in the drive. Flux capacitor.
848
00:51:20,277 --> 00:51:24,441
I mean, the 1.21 gigawatts,
that don't come cheap, you know.
849
00:51:24,514 --> 00:51:27,483
- But I got the duckets, you know.
- Wow.
850
00:51:27,551 --> 00:51:30,418
There's nothing more sexy
than a man with power.
851
00:51:30,487 --> 00:51:32,819
What do you mean?
Like... You like power?
852
00:51:32,889 --> 00:51:34,823
- Uh-huh. -
I like power.
853
00:51:34,891 --> 00:51:36,916
- I got a hell of a lot of power.
- Yeah?
854
00:51:36,993 --> 00:51:38,984
Yeah.
855
00:51:44,201 --> 00:51:46,669
You want to come sit on my lap.
856
00:51:49,573 --> 00:51:51,666
Oh. Wow.
857
00:51:53,343 --> 00:51:56,779
You want to take your shirt off.
858
00:51:59,916 --> 00:52:01,781
Wow-ar-r-rm.
859
00:52:02,886 --> 00:52:04,877
Yummy!
860
00:52:18,435 --> 00:52:22,701
Oh, my God.
861
00:52:22,772 --> 00:52:24,501
- Can you smell that?
- Trekkies.
862
00:52:24,574 --> 00:52:28,237
Yeah.
863
00:52:30,213 --> 00:52:34,149
Badges.
864
00:52:34,217 --> 00:52:37,550
Yeah, we're not here for the Trek.
865
00:52:37,621 --> 00:52:40,181
Okay? We're here to see somebody.
866
00:52:40,257 --> 00:52:43,693
And who would that be?
867
00:52:45,362 --> 00:52:47,523
We're here to see the nerfherder.
868
00:52:48,765 --> 00:52:52,861
- Hmm?
- Scruffy Nerfherder.
869
00:52:54,938 --> 00:52:56,963
Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop!
870
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,565
And then Zoe just storms off.
871
00:52:59,643 --> 00:53:01,668
I mean, she's really...
872
00:53:01,745 --> 00:53:05,545
a very difficult specimen
to read sometimes.
873
00:53:05,615 --> 00:53:08,106
If you know what I mean. But I...
874
00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:11,279
You just can't act like that
if you wanna be one of the guys.
875
00:53:13,056 --> 00:53:16,548
Maybe... she doesn't
wanna be one of the guys.
876
00:53:18,295 --> 00:53:20,195
She likes you.
877
00:53:22,766 --> 00:53:25,997
But I didn't... But she kind of just...
878
00:53:27,971 --> 00:53:30,201
Jesus Murphy!
879
00:53:30,273 --> 00:53:32,571
Wow. Okay.
880
00:53:32,642 --> 00:53:34,803
What-What should I do?
881
00:53:34,878 --> 00:53:38,712
Well, if there's one thing
I learned being an escort...
882
00:53:38,782 --> 00:53:41,910
it's that actions
speak louder than words.
883
00:53:41,985 --> 00:53:43,976
Did you just say " escort"?
884
00:53:49,593 --> 00:53:51,857
Fantastic.
885
00:53:51,928 --> 00:53:54,590
Shh!
886
00:53:55,899 --> 00:53:58,265
- I don't think we're alone.
- Yeah.
887
00:53:58,335 --> 00:54:00,895
You're latel
888
00:54:04,808 --> 00:54:07,299
It's all there... maps, pass codes...
889
00:54:07,377 --> 00:54:12,246
phony I.D.'s to get you past the front
gates, but that's not what's most important.
890
00:54:12,315 --> 00:54:14,340
What's most important?
891
00:54:18,855 --> 00:54:21,653
We never met.
892
00:54:21,725 --> 00:54:23,659
- That's Capt...
- Yeah. I think...
893
00:54:25,362 --> 00:54:29,025
I should... Hi. I can't believe
that these are classified.
894
00:54:29,099 --> 00:54:32,296
And there's... Look at the
maps. I mean, there's badges.
895
00:54:32,369 --> 00:54:35,463
And there's Trekkin'with
TJ. What is this for?
896
00:54:35,538 --> 00:54:37,836
Just something for the ride.
897
00:54:37,907 --> 00:54:41,809
- Thank you.
- This is unreal. How did you score all this stuff?
898
00:54:41,878 --> 00:54:47,111
Are you kidding? I'm William
Shatner. I can score anything.
899
00:54:47,183 --> 00:54:50,050
- Okay.
- How 'bout... How 'boutJeri Ryan's panties?
900
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,850
- Oh.
- Anything.
901
00:54:52,922 --> 00:54:55,288
- I'm so glad that we met.
- Me too.
902
00:54:55,358 --> 00:54:59,055
This is... Whoa. Hey. Wait, wait.
903
00:54:59,129 --> 00:55:01,188
Okay, let me go.
904
00:55:01,264 --> 00:55:04,631
- Hutch, private convo. Jesus.
- What the hell are you...
905
00:55:04,701 --> 00:55:06,726
What are you doing, man?
Get the hell out ofhere.
906
00:55:06,803 --> 00:55:08,896
It's not a good time. The
Force is strong with me here.
907
00:55:08,972 --> 00:55:12,408
- Actually, your hour's over.
- What do you mean, " over"?
908
00:55:12,475 --> 00:55:16,411
- Hutch, they're hookers.
- We're not hookers. We're escorts.
909
00:55:16,479 --> 00:55:18,470
- The difference being?
- I don't know.
910
00:55:18,548 --> 00:55:21,244
Excuse me. Sorry. You telling me...
911
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:26,346
that I just spent the last hour
sweet talking a smoking, hot whore?
912
00:55:26,423 --> 00:55:29,051
- You could always pay for another hour.
- How much?
913
00:55:29,125 --> 00:55:31,559
- One thousand.
- Dollars?
914
00:55:31,628 --> 00:55:34,096
- Mm-hmm. - Each!
I want a refund.
915
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:35,893
- Give me a refund.
- Is that possible?
916
00:55:35,965 --> 00:55:39,059
You know what? We're male prostitutes
and you owe us a thousand dollarsl
917
00:55:39,135 --> 00:55:41,660
- You can talk it over with Roach.
- Roach?
918
00:55:44,774 --> 00:55:49,438
- Hi, Daddy.
- Greetings and salutations. It is payday.
919
00:55:49,512 --> 00:55:52,743
- Ten-thousand shares
of Priceline? - Anything.
920
00:55:52,816 --> 00:55:57,947
- Wow.
- Next time you see Harry Knowles, tell him we're square.
921
00:55:58,021 --> 00:56:00,046
Friends of yours?
922
00:56:02,459 --> 00:56:05,451
Cry havoc!
923
00:56:10,533 --> 00:56:14,230
Zinfandel. That's a good vintage.
924
00:56:14,304 --> 00:56:17,569
Uh, this has all been a
really big misunderstanding.
925
00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:22,373
You see, my friend and I, we didn't
know that we were on the clock, per se.
926
00:56:22,445 --> 00:56:24,470
You thought you were getting
that for free, did ya?
927
00:56:24,547 --> 00:56:27,710
- Uh, Mr. Roach?
- Yeah?
928
00:56:27,784 --> 00:56:30,617
Would you mind not eating
those peanuts 'cause...
929
00:56:30,687 --> 00:56:34,987
Buddy, these are like
$10 a peanut, you know.
930
00:56:35,058 --> 00:56:36,992
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
931
00:56:37,060 --> 00:56:40,894
Well, why don't you take
it out of the $2,000...
932
00:56:40,964 --> 00:56:44,297
that you and your skinny little
idiot friend owe me, how's that sound?
933
00:56:44,367 --> 00:56:47,302
- Rebel Alliance, dude.
- What? Enunciate.
934
00:56:47,370 --> 00:56:49,463
- Rebel Alliance.
- Rebel Alliance.
935
00:56:49,539 --> 00:56:52,133
We recognize the tat.
We're Star Wars fans.
936
00:56:52,208 --> 00:56:53,937
- You're Star Wars fans?
- Yeah.
937
00:56:54,010 --> 00:56:56,638
Shit. Why didn't you say so, man?
938
00:56:56,713 --> 00:56:58,908
You think that's cool,
check this shit out. Look.
939
00:56:58,982 --> 00:57:01,678
Entire right side, Rebel Alliance.
940
00:57:01,751 --> 00:57:04,379
"Do or do not. " That's funny.
941
00:57:04,454 --> 00:57:07,582
#And this arm is the Dark Side #
942
00:57:07,657 --> 00:57:11,149
# Don't join the Dark
Side of the Force ##
943
00:57:11,227 --> 00:57:13,252
Check this out. Episode I.
944
00:57:13,329 --> 00:57:15,820
Fu-Schnickens.
Jar-Jar Binks.
945
00:57:15,899 --> 00:57:17,992
That guy's gonna be
the shit. I tell you.
946
00:57:18,067 --> 00:57:20,126
- Wow.
- Right? You like that?
947
00:57:20,203 --> 00:57:23,764
- I had them do that pose. I thought it was funny.
- That is awesome.
948
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:27,332
- You guys are all right.
- So, we're all hunky-dory?
949
00:57:27,410 --> 00:57:30,470
- We're all copacetic?
- Well, if the word " copacetic" means...
950
00:57:30,547 --> 00:57:33,880
I'm gonna rip off your tongue and
lick your ass with it, then yeah...
951
00:57:33,950 --> 00:57:35,815
- we're copacetic.
- Oh.
952
00:57:38,588 --> 00:57:40,988
- Windows, now!
- It was lovely to meet you.
953
00:57:41,057 --> 00:57:43,890
Thank you so much for listening.
954
00:57:46,463 --> 00:57:49,296
- Go, go, go!
- Balloons? You thought that was gonna stop 'em?
955
00:57:51,367 --> 00:57:52,959
- Grab the princess.
- Come on, Zoe!
956
00:57:53,036 --> 00:57:57,097
- Get off me. I'm not speaking to you.
- Seriously. We gotta go now!
957
00:58:02,712 --> 00:58:05,237
Why are we running? What did you do?
958
00:58:06,983 --> 00:58:08,974
They're everywhere! They're everywhere!
959
00:58:09,052 --> 00:58:11,020
You're going the wrong way!
960
00:58:14,424 --> 00:58:16,722
Yeah!
961
00:58:17,927 --> 00:58:22,387
That's him! He's the
one who destroyed Khan.
962
00:58:22,465 --> 00:58:24,660
You called Han Solo a bitch, man!
963
00:58:24,734 --> 00:58:28,033
Han Solo is a bitch.
964
00:58:28,104 --> 00:58:31,164
No one calls...
965
00:58:31,241 --> 00:58:35,575
Han Solo a bitch!
966
00:58:44,521 --> 00:58:47,388
- Go, go, go!
- Go, go, go!
967
00:58:47,457 --> 00:58:50,358
Why are we running?
968
00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:55,687
- Go! Come on!
- What is going on?
969
00:59:00,837 --> 00:59:04,102
You stop this van, you little sons
of bitches! I'm gonna kill you!
970
00:59:04,173 --> 00:59:06,573
This is not copacetic. You stop!
971
00:59:10,980 --> 00:59:12,811
Zoe, hit him with the pressed ham!
972
00:59:12,882 --> 00:59:15,544
Yeah!
973
00:59:19,622 --> 00:59:21,453
- Yeah!
- Nice.
974
00:59:22,892 --> 00:59:25,588
Nailed it.
975
00:59:28,298 --> 00:59:30,766
Linus? Jesusl
976
00:59:30,833 --> 00:59:32,664
- Where'd he go?
- Did he fall out?
977
00:59:32,735 --> 00:59:35,397
Chewie. I call Chewie.
978
00:59:35,471 --> 00:59:39,498
Dr. Richardson to Trauma
2. Dr. Richardson, Trauma 2.
979
00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:41,510
Your friend's awake.
980
00:59:41,578 --> 00:59:44,172
- Uh, cool. Can we see him?
- Yes.
981
00:59:44,247 --> 00:59:46,374
But first we need to have a little talk.
982
00:59:46,449 --> 00:59:49,145
Linus tells me that you're
on some sort of a road trip.
983
00:59:49,218 --> 00:59:53,120
- Uh, yeah, up to San Francisco.
- Well, not anymore, fellas.
984
00:59:53,189 --> 00:59:55,749
The only place he's
going is back to Ohio.
985
00:59:55,825 --> 01:00:00,194
- We can't do that.
- Just what's so important in San Francisco?
986
01:00:02,198 --> 01:00:04,530
- Uh, he...
- Star Wars.
987
01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:07,126
Star Wars?
988
01:00:07,203 --> 01:00:11,867
Look, he is very, very sick
and he needs to go home.
989
01:00:14,844 --> 01:00:16,812
No.
990
01:00:18,381 --> 01:00:22,010
Guys, we can't... we can't do
this now. We can't give up now.
991
01:00:22,085 --> 01:00:24,781
Not when we're so close.
992
01:00:27,056 --> 01:00:31,117
Linus, it's just a movie.
993
01:00:36,532 --> 01:00:39,797
Yeah, maybe it is. Maybe
it is. You know what?
994
01:00:39,869 --> 01:00:42,531
To most people, Star Wars
is just a movie, right?
995
01:00:42,605 --> 01:00:44,903
- Not to us!
- We just spoke to the doctor.
996
01:00:44,974 --> 01:00:48,137
Screw that doctor! Screw...
Screw all those people!
997
01:00:48,211 --> 01:00:52,614
Did-Did they ever get their... their heads
stuck in a bucket trying to be Darth Vader?
998
01:00:52,682 --> 01:00:54,912
- I mean, I don't think so. No.
- Nope.
999
01:00:54,984 --> 01:00:58,420
Did they ever singe their eyebrows
trying to make a lightsaber?
1000
01:00:58,488 --> 01:01:02,151
No way. Did they name
their right hand Leia?
1001
01:01:02,225 --> 01:01:04,659
Who knows? Yes, they could have.
1002
01:01:04,727 --> 01:01:06,695
- But you know who did?
- Me.
1003
01:01:06,763 --> 01:01:09,095
Yes, you did. So did I. So did you.
1004
01:01:09,165 --> 01:01:12,032
- We all did.
- You guys are freaking sick. You know that?
1005
01:01:12,101 --> 01:01:14,160
This is our Death Star, man.
1006
01:01:17,373 --> 01:01:21,571
And I don't know about you, guys, but
I'm not running away from this one.
1007
01:01:21,644 --> 01:01:25,375
- Me neither.
- Screw it. I named both my hands Leia.
1008
01:01:28,184 --> 01:01:31,176
What the hell are you doing?
Do you know who this is?
1009
01:01:31,254 --> 01:01:33,688
It's that way.
1010
01:01:33,756 --> 01:01:36,224
Jailbreakl Jailbreakl
1011
01:01:36,292 --> 01:01:38,590
What's going on?
1012
01:01:42,865 --> 01:01:46,631
- Hold it right there!
- No, uh, please...
1013
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:48,796
You're our only hope.
1014
01:01:52,975 --> 01:01:56,240
Take two of these every three hours.
1015
01:01:59,682 --> 01:02:01,980
Oh, my God.
1016
01:02:04,687 --> 01:02:06,917
- I love you.
- I know.
1017
01:02:06,989 --> 01:02:09,082
Yeah!
1018
01:02:22,171 --> 01:02:24,298
Mmm.
1019
01:02:24,373 --> 01:02:27,831
Nothing worse than a locked shitter
when you got to turd, am I right?
1020
01:02:27,910 --> 01:02:29,434
Seriously, man.
1021
01:02:32,715 --> 01:02:36,082
That is it, man! I don't
wanna do this anymore!
1022
01:02:36,152 --> 01:02:39,644
Why not? What'd I tell you,
sweet and womanly, right?
1023
01:02:39,722 --> 01:02:41,622
Womanly?
1024
01:02:41,691 --> 01:02:44,251
- Make sure you go tell your friends.
- I'll be back.
1025
01:02:50,700 --> 01:02:54,067
Bam, bam, bam! Hyah! Wanna try that?
1026
01:02:56,506 --> 01:03:00,033
Start the car! Start the van!
1027
01:03:03,613 --> 01:03:06,776
Hi!
1028
01:03:06,849 --> 01:03:08,874
- Let's do it! Let's do it!
- Oh, my Godl
1029
01:03:08,951 --> 01:03:16,722
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1030
01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:18,727
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1031
01:03:18,795 --> 01:03:22,060
Shut up, manl It was a hundred
miles agol Stop living in the pastl
1032
01:03:22,131 --> 01:03:24,065
Oh, my Godl
1033
01:03:24,133 --> 01:03:27,660
Lucas Valley Road. We
gotta steal that sign, guys.
1034
01:03:34,610 --> 01:03:38,512
Zoe, how we looking out there?
1035
01:03:38,581 --> 01:03:43,143
One guard manning the booth.
Couple civvies roaming about.
1036
01:03:43,219 --> 01:03:46,620
- Nothing we can't handle.
- All right, fellas, " X" marks our target.
1037
01:03:46,689 --> 01:03:50,318
Level " C" editing bays. It's our
best chance for finding the rough cut.
1038
01:03:50,393 --> 01:03:53,521
Excellent. Okay. Once we've
breached the front gate...
1039
01:03:53,596 --> 01:03:58,499
we're gonna be off on foot, so we're gonna
have to take a shortcut at this wall here.
1040
01:03:58,568 --> 01:04:00,695
And you know what that means.
1041
01:04:00,770 --> 01:04:02,897
Are you shitting... Grappling hook?
1042
01:04:08,344 --> 01:04:11,006
#A modern-day warrior
Mean, mean stride #
1043
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:14,243
# Today's Tom Sawyer Mean, mean pride #
1044
01:04:20,590 --> 01:04:24,822
I can do this.
1045
01:04:24,894 --> 01:04:27,761
- Get up.
- Windows, how's it look up there?
1046
01:04:27,830 --> 01:04:30,924
Windows, make sure there are no cameras.
1047
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:33,594
Can you see anything?
1048
01:04:33,669 --> 01:04:36,695
All right, one, two...
1049
01:04:36,772 --> 01:04:40,868
- Oh, Jesus!
- Windows, Jesusl
1050
01:04:42,044 --> 01:04:44,035
Owl
1051
01:04:44,113 --> 01:04:46,911
- Okay.
- Wait. There he is. Good man. Good man.
1052
01:04:46,983 --> 01:04:49,679
Let's go. Follow my
lead. Follow my lead.
1053
01:04:49,752 --> 01:04:53,552
Get down. Stay low. The ninja roll.
1054
01:04:53,623 --> 01:04:56,251
Guys, get down!
1055
01:04:56,325 --> 01:05:00,785
- Jackass.
- Guys, wait for me.
1056
01:05:00,863 --> 01:05:03,388
I hate running.
1057
01:05:03,466 --> 01:05:07,630
This is like the most exercise
you guys have gotten all year.
1058
01:05:09,839 --> 01:05:13,468
This is the one Shatner
said would be open.
1059
01:05:16,812 --> 01:05:19,144
A breach in Skywalker security.
1060
01:05:19,215 --> 01:05:22,776
Wow. Okay, we're in.
1061
01:05:24,820 --> 01:05:27,380
I feel like we're in
a Scooby-Doo episode.
1062
01:05:27,456 --> 01:05:31,153
Go, go, go, go.
1063
01:05:31,227 --> 01:05:33,195
- Hutch?
- Yeah?
1064
01:05:33,262 --> 01:05:36,663
Your ass still smells
like ham and cheese.
1065
01:05:41,570 --> 01:05:43,504
Sweet. That way.
1066
01:05:48,344 --> 01:05:50,335
Wow.
1067
01:06:00,189 --> 01:06:03,784
Shatner, don't fail us now, right?
1068
01:06:05,394 --> 01:06:07,828
Whoa.
1069
01:06:07,897 --> 01:06:09,797
Yeah!
1070
01:06:19,075 --> 01:06:21,475
- Oh, my God.
- No way.
1071
01:06:24,814 --> 01:06:27,248
We're home, boys.
1072
01:06:27,316 --> 01:06:29,250
See, that's what I call a collection.
1073
01:06:29,318 --> 01:06:32,116
This is where I want my ashes scattered.
1074
01:06:41,263 --> 01:06:44,323
Oh!
1075
01:06:46,836 --> 01:06:49,896
- " Help me, Obi
- Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope. "
1076
01:06:49,972 --> 01:06:53,408
They've got Indy stuff.
1077
01:06:53,476 --> 01:06:55,706
Thermal detonator.
1078
01:06:55,778 --> 01:06:58,008
I think I'm gonna cry.
1079
01:06:58,080 --> 01:07:03,245
Hey. They got Willow's spell book!
1080
01:07:03,319 --> 01:07:05,617
You know, Willow? Little guy?
1081
01:07:05,688 --> 01:07:09,556
Magical... "Kaiya. "
1082
01:07:09,625 --> 01:07:11,252
Who cares about Willow?
1083
01:07:11,327 --> 01:07:15,457
Look at this.
1084
01:07:15,531 --> 01:07:18,432
"Throw me the idol. "
1085
01:07:19,502 --> 01:07:22,471
Guys, look at this.
"We've got bad dates. "
1086
01:07:22,538 --> 01:07:27,271
One kaddam for the Hebrew god.
1087
01:07:27,343 --> 01:07:30,278
We have a breach in the archive
room. Breach in the archive room.
1088
01:07:40,923 --> 01:07:43,949
You know, no matter how
you felt about the guy...
1089
01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:48,196
Vader embraced his fate.
1090
01:07:48,264 --> 01:07:50,494
He faced death head-on.
1091
01:07:53,669 --> 01:07:57,161
No one moves.
1092
01:07:57,239 --> 01:08:00,902
Subjects have been
located. Requesting backup.
1093
01:08:00,976 --> 01:08:03,638
Please step away from Lord Vader.
1094
01:08:03,712 --> 01:08:06,237
Dude, what's up with the outfits?
1095
01:08:06,315 --> 01:08:08,681
Company policy.
1096
01:08:08,751 --> 01:08:11,151
You wanna work here,
you gotta wear the suit.
1097
01:08:11,220 --> 01:08:14,678
Carl, you make us wear the suit.
1098
01:08:14,757 --> 01:08:18,193
- Run? -
Run. - Run.
1099
01:08:19,261 --> 01:08:21,354
- Zoe!
- Just go!
1100
01:08:21,430 --> 01:08:24,593
- I'm not leaving without her.
- What, are you crazy? It's three against onel
1101
01:08:24,667 --> 01:08:26,965
Never tell me the odds.
1102
01:08:27,036 --> 01:08:30,699
There can be only one.
1103
01:08:34,577 --> 01:08:37,478
Time for you to get mauled, boy.
1104
01:08:44,420 --> 01:08:47,446
I'm good.
1105
01:08:47,523 --> 01:08:50,048
- Go!
- Let's go!
1106
01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:51,855
Man downl Man downl
1107
01:08:58,601 --> 01:09:00,535
Stop! Don't move!
1108
01:09:00,603 --> 01:09:02,537
Run!
1109
01:09:02,605 --> 01:09:05,438
Subjects are fleeing
to the west corridor!
1110
01:09:05,508 --> 01:09:08,306
- Go, go, go!
- Stop!
1111
01:09:08,377 --> 01:09:10,140
Go, go!
1112
01:09:10,212 --> 01:09:13,477
Come on!
1113
01:09:16,485 --> 01:09:21,320
Hmm. Yoda says going up you are.
1114
01:09:29,298 --> 01:09:33,701
- In!
- Get in! Get your ass in there!
1115
01:09:33,769 --> 01:09:36,863
- Hurry!
- Let's go!
1116
01:09:36,939 --> 01:09:39,100
Move it! Over there!
1117
01:09:39,175 --> 01:09:42,736
Over there! Let's go!
1118
01:09:45,347 --> 01:09:47,338
That was awesome!
1119
01:09:48,517 --> 01:09:51,315
Where the hell are we?
1120
01:09:51,387 --> 01:09:53,582
I have a bad feeling about this.
1121
01:09:53,656 --> 01:09:56,784
Um, you guys don't think that the, um...
1122
01:09:56,859 --> 01:09:58,884
We are in George Lucas's trash room.
1123
01:09:58,961 --> 01:10:02,761
Don't be ridiculous, okay? The
walls are not gonna close in on us.
1124
01:10:05,601 --> 01:10:09,697
- Holy...
- Jesusl
1125
01:10:12,107 --> 01:10:14,200
- Let's fortify the walls with this.
- Do it!
1126
01:10:14,276 --> 01:10:17,109
- Um, girls?
- Goddamn you, walls!
1127
01:10:17,179 --> 01:10:18,942
Girls!
1128
01:10:19,014 --> 01:10:21,312
That'd be the air duct.
1129
01:10:22,618 --> 01:10:25,314
- And that there's the exit.
- Yeah, the exit.
1130
01:10:25,387 --> 01:10:28,322
- And you guys are the big pussies.
- I knew.
1131
01:10:28,390 --> 01:10:31,450
" 3PO! We're all right!"
1132
01:10:35,097 --> 01:10:39,090
Guys, this way!
1133
01:10:39,168 --> 01:10:42,228
- Yikes!
- Check in here.
1134
01:10:42,304 --> 01:10:44,295
This one's clear.
1135
01:10:53,215 --> 01:10:56,150
Damn it, shut up!
1136
01:10:59,121 --> 01:11:01,487
I think we lost 'em, right?
1137
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:09,056
Yeah, we lost them for now, but we
cannot run around this place all night.
1138
01:11:12,334 --> 01:11:14,359
Guys!
1139
01:11:15,871 --> 01:11:17,668
We're in the motherboard. We're in.
1140
01:11:17,740 --> 01:11:21,198
- George Lucas's office.
- George Lucas's office!
1141
01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:24,713
Holy shit. Oh, wow. We're... We're...
1142
01:11:24,780 --> 01:11:27,078
- Oh, my God.
- We're in the motherboard.
1143
01:11:27,149 --> 01:11:30,016
You guys need to see this. You
guys need to see this. Look.
1144
01:11:32,421 --> 01:11:35,117
Holy Hothl
1145
01:11:35,190 --> 01:11:38,648
- I think this is it. I think this is it.
- Oh, my God.
1146
01:11:38,727 --> 01:11:41,321
Play it. Play it.
1147
01:11:41,397 --> 01:11:44,628
Hey, get over here. Come on.
1148
01:11:48,404 --> 01:11:50,702
The crawl!
1149
01:11:50,773 --> 01:11:53,401
The crawll
1150
01:11:53,475 --> 01:11:56,876
Oh, my God.
1151
01:12:01,950 --> 01:12:03,713
Come on! Come on!
1152
01:12:08,891 --> 01:12:11,689
- Here you are.
- Yeah.
1153
01:12:14,630 --> 01:12:17,565
That hooker in Vegas gave me something.
1154
01:12:17,633 --> 01:12:19,567
What?
1155
01:12:19,635 --> 01:12:21,830
The truth.
1156
01:12:21,904 --> 01:12:25,305
I'm in love with you and, uh...
1157
01:12:25,374 --> 01:12:27,604
I love you too.
1158
01:12:27,676 --> 01:12:30,577
Stand back.
1159
01:12:40,756 --> 01:12:43,623
- Okay, on your feet!
- Us?
1160
01:12:43,692 --> 01:12:47,560
- Yeah! Come on up! On your feet!
- Get on outta here! Come on!
1161
01:12:47,629 --> 01:12:49,859
Nowl Get on your feetl
1162
01:12:49,932 --> 01:12:52,127
Yeah, get on your feet! Who
the hell are these people?
1163
01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:54,635
- And line up against the wall, all of youl
- Back against the wall!
1164
01:12:54,703 --> 01:12:58,070
Get up! What are you talkin' about? Hey!
1165
01:12:58,140 --> 01:13:01,735
Step away from the Millennium
Falcon and line up against the wall.
1166
01:13:03,178 --> 01:13:05,442
- Now!
- Oh.
1167
01:13:05,514 --> 01:13:07,982
- Oh, God.
- Linus, what are you doing, man?
1168
01:13:08,050 --> 01:13:10,746
I'm feeling crazy right now.
1169
01:13:10,819 --> 01:13:13,788
- Dude, do you have any idea how valuable that thing is?
- Not a good idea.
1170
01:13:13,856 --> 01:13:16,290
Put it down. Come on. Put it down nowl
1171
01:13:16,358 --> 01:13:20,886
You guys stand up against the wall, or I
will smash this thing into a billion pieces!
1172
01:13:21,830 --> 01:13:24,822
I will. I will smash thisl
1173
01:13:24,900 --> 01:13:27,630
- No.
- What, you think I won't?
1174
01:13:27,703 --> 01:13:30,399
- No, I don't.
- No, you don't, you think that I won't...
1175
01:13:30,472 --> 01:13:32,440
or, no, you don't,
you think that I will?
1176
01:13:32,508 --> 01:13:35,841
- The first one.
- I'm confused. Who's doing what now?
1177
01:13:35,911 --> 01:13:37,936
- You tell me.
- It doesn't matter.
1178
01:13:38,013 --> 01:13:41,449
Because if he puts down the Millennium
Falcon, I will smash this training remote...
1179
01:13:41,517 --> 01:13:43,007
erasing it from history.
1180
01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:45,645
- Come on, guys. Let's rethink this.
- Shut up, Windows!
1181
01:13:45,721 --> 01:13:48,485
- Who's doing what?
- Put down the Millennium Falcon and the training remote...
1182
01:13:48,557 --> 01:13:50,491
or I will destroy this puppet.
1183
01:13:50,559 --> 01:13:53,153
- Craig! You can't!
- Shut up, Barry.
1184
01:13:53,228 --> 01:13:55,753
- Put down Master Yoda!
- You put yours down, damn it!
1185
01:13:55,831 --> 01:13:59,358
I can't do it!
1186
01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:01,596
- All right, everybody shut up!
- Oh!
1187
01:14:01,670 --> 01:14:05,470
Swear to God, this little ewok
is going up in flames! I'll do it.
1188
01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:08,203
- Do it. Go ahead. Burn it.
- I will.
1189
01:14:08,277 --> 01:14:10,142
- Yeah, burn it.
- Guys, nobody wants this.
1190
01:14:10,212 --> 01:14:12,271
- I will.
- Burn it. Burn it.
1191
01:14:12,347 --> 01:14:14,713
- I'm gonna. That's what I said!
- Burn it!
1192
01:14:14,783 --> 01:14:17,775
Good. I was always more
of a Star Trek fan anyway.
1193
01:14:17,853 --> 01:14:21,016
Damn Trekkies are everywhere!
1194
01:14:23,559 --> 01:14:26,858
All right, we'll take it from
here. Sir, give me the Falcon.
1195
01:14:29,131 --> 01:14:31,964
- I can't believe I let you guys get me into this.
- Shut up!
1196
01:14:37,105 --> 01:14:39,972
How you guys doing? You guys doing good?
1197
01:14:41,944 --> 01:14:43,878
So let me get this right.
1198
01:14:43,946 --> 01:14:47,973
You guys wanted to see
our movie early for free.
1199
01:14:48,050 --> 01:14:51,213
So you broke into private property, huh?
1200
01:14:51,286 --> 01:14:53,413
- And you tried to
steal it. - L-I...
1201
01:14:53,489 --> 01:14:55,514
I haven't even seen the movie yet!
1202
01:14:55,591 --> 01:14:57,491
Sir, I understand that this looks bad...
1203
01:14:57,559 --> 01:15:00,995
It looks like three-to-five-years,
locked-up, for-breaking-and-entering bad.
1204
01:15:01,063 --> 01:15:04,032
That's right, sweet cheeks. By the
time y'all walk away from this...
1205
01:15:04,099 --> 01:15:06,727
your faces are gonna be
shrunken and shriveled...
1206
01:15:06,802 --> 01:15:09,202
just like your one nut.
1207
01:15:09,271 --> 01:15:13,173
What? How can he possibly know that?
1208
01:15:13,242 --> 01:15:15,176
Oh, we know about your uniball.
1209
01:15:15,244 --> 01:15:20,045
We know everything, Mr. Harold
Hutchinson, a. k. a. Hutch.
1210
01:15:20,115 --> 01:15:23,915
Son of Gloria. Humongous Rush fan.
1211
01:15:23,986 --> 01:15:26,181
Dude, you're freaking me
out. How do you know this?
1212
01:15:26,255 --> 01:15:28,280
Because you have a
Rush shirt on, dipshit.
1213
01:15:28,357 --> 01:15:33,522
And because we have a dossier
on every single one of you.
1214
01:15:33,595 --> 01:15:35,358
No one move!
1215
01:15:35,430 --> 01:15:38,695
Get your hands off the glass table.
1216
01:15:38,767 --> 01:15:41,531
Hello, Mr. Lucas.
1217
01:15:41,603 --> 01:15:43,628
Shut up! Shut your mouths.
1218
01:15:43,705 --> 01:15:46,765
- Yes.
- I can hear his beard.
1219
01:15:46,842 --> 01:15:50,403
Yes. Shut up. Mm-hmm.
1220
01:15:50,479 --> 01:15:54,210
I don't wanna say that it was a hole in my
security, but... How did you guys break in?
1221
01:15:54,283 --> 01:15:56,376
- I used a grappling hook...
- And we climbed...
1222
01:15:56,451 --> 01:15:59,249
- Was William Shatner involved with this?
- No. Not at all.
1223
01:15:59,321 --> 01:16:03,087
They said no. No. No
one was hurt. Not yet.
1224
01:16:03,158 --> 01:16:05,217
Mm-hmm.
1225
01:16:05,294 --> 01:16:07,489
Okay. Very well.
1226
01:16:11,033 --> 01:16:16,096
Damn it. I've just been told that what
I said earlier I no longer believe.
1227
01:16:16,171 --> 01:16:18,071
Hmm?
1228
01:16:21,043 --> 01:16:24,376
Mr. Lucas is touched and mildly
flattered by what you have done here.
1229
01:16:24,446 --> 01:16:27,244
And I have been informed
that I feel the same way.
1230
01:16:27,316 --> 01:16:31,514
So the charges are gonna be dropped.
1231
01:16:31,587 --> 01:16:34,681
That is, of course, if you are...
1232
01:16:34,756 --> 01:16:37,281
what you appear to be.
1233
01:16:37,359 --> 01:16:39,589
Uh, what do we appear to be?
1234
01:16:39,661 --> 01:16:44,564
Fanboys. Something we can easily
determine with a simple quiz.
1235
01:16:50,772 --> 01:16:53,297
What is the name of the planet
that Leia gave Grand MoffTarkin...
1236
01:16:53,375 --> 01:16:55,775
as the false location of
the rebel base in Episode IV?
1237
01:16:55,844 --> 01:16:59,336
- Dantooine.
- What is the name of the gunner in Luke's snow speeder?
1238
01:16:59,414 --> 01:17:03,043
- Dak. - Where is a
woman's g-spot located?
1239
01:17:05,220 --> 01:17:08,519
- What?
- If you were to ask a woman to perform a Mississippi handbag...
1240
01:17:08,590 --> 01:17:11,218
where would your testicles end up?
1241
01:17:11,293 --> 01:17:14,057
That's not a Star Wars question.
1242
01:17:14,129 --> 01:17:17,565
I didn't say the nipples. I said
the little bumps around the nipples.
1243
01:17:17,633 --> 01:17:19,999
Yar... Arr...
1244
01:17:20,068 --> 01:17:22,195
That is not a Louisiana pile driver.
1245
01:17:22,270 --> 01:17:26,331
But you wouldn't know about
that, would you? Hmph. Virgin.
1246
01:17:26,408 --> 01:17:28,467
Virgin.
1247
01:17:28,543 --> 01:17:30,909
Areola borealis?
1248
01:17:30,979 --> 01:17:33,812
Near the-the, um, bumps?
1249
01:17:35,250 --> 01:17:38,276
That's what you do. You aim
for the eye, grab the lip...
1250
01:17:38,353 --> 01:17:40,150
lead her around the
room... blinding the marlin.
1251
01:17:40,222 --> 01:17:42,850
God, you're sexy and
well-versed. I like it.
1252
01:17:44,459 --> 01:17:46,324
Okay. Guards!
1253
01:17:46,395 --> 01:17:48,829
- Okay, that's it.
- That's what happens. Okay, I got it. All right.
1254
01:17:48,897 --> 01:17:50,831
- I'm good.
- Bye-bye.
1255
01:17:50,899 --> 01:17:55,734
Congratulations. Mr. Lucas has
decided to drop the charges.
1256
01:17:58,440 --> 01:18:00,670
So, what? We're free to go, right?
1257
01:18:00,742 --> 01:18:04,007
Well, not exactly. He says
you can watch the film.
1258
01:18:04,079 --> 01:18:07,446
What? We can watch the movie?
1259
01:18:09,584 --> 01:18:11,745
Hold it. Hold it. Only you.
1260
01:18:16,758 --> 01:18:18,953
It's good, man. It's right.
1261
01:18:24,366 --> 01:18:28,200
#Hey, are you lonely #
1262
01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:33,907
#Has summer gone so slowly #
1263
01:18:33,975 --> 01:18:38,139
# We found the ground #
1264
01:18:38,213 --> 01:18:42,479
#And that damage was done #
1265
01:18:42,551 --> 01:18:46,317
#It's cold as you fade into the sun #
1266
01:18:47,956 --> 01:18:51,119
# Where'd you go #
1267
01:18:53,361 --> 01:18:56,626
# To me #
1268
01:19:04,306 --> 01:19:06,536
#But you're alive #
1269
01:19:06,608 --> 01:19:08,633
# Well, it's only #
1270
01:19:10,145 --> 01:19:14,343
#Fallen frames they told me #
1271
01:19:14,416 --> 01:19:17,908
# You stand out #
1272
01:19:17,986 --> 01:19:21,114
#It's so loud and so what if it is #
1273
01:19:23,058 --> 01:19:27,427
#It's cold as you face into the wind #
1274
01:19:27,496 --> 01:19:29,430
Chewie.
1275
01:19:31,867 --> 01:19:36,031
# Tonight the sun shall see its light #
1276
01:19:36,104 --> 01:19:41,201
#So what if you catch
me Where would we land #
1277
01:19:41,276 --> 01:19:46,771
#In somebody's life
for taking his hands #
1278
01:19:46,848 --> 01:19:52,081
#Sing to me hope as
she's thrown on the sand #
1279
01:19:52,154 --> 01:19:57,615
#All of our work is rated again #
1280
01:19:58,794 --> 01:20:00,728
# Where to go ##
1281
01:20:09,104 --> 01:20:12,471
- That's not bad.
- Thanks, man.
1282
01:20:24,019 --> 01:20:27,216
There's something I
need to... I should...
1283
01:20:27,289 --> 01:20:29,314
probably tell you before, uh...
1284
01:20:29,391 --> 01:20:32,519
Before I'm gone.
1285
01:20:32,594 --> 01:20:35,757
You could say it. I
won't hold it against you.
1286
01:20:37,432 --> 01:20:41,266
I just... I wish I could...
1287
01:20:43,505 --> 01:20:46,668
change these last three years, you know.
1288
01:20:48,143 --> 01:20:51,442
You know, I wouldn't want you to.
1289
01:20:51,513 --> 01:20:54,004
You gotta keep the flaws.
1290
01:20:54,082 --> 01:20:56,277
Crappy effects.
1291
01:20:56,351 --> 01:20:58,319
Real puppets.
1292
01:20:58,386 --> 01:21:01,048
That's what makes it so good, you know?
1293
01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:03,090
Yeah.
1294
01:21:03,158 --> 01:21:06,753
This was never about the movie.
1295
01:21:06,828 --> 01:21:11,390
You know, this was, uh...
this was about all of us.
1296
01:21:13,168 --> 01:21:15,329
Hey.
1297
01:21:17,973 --> 01:21:21,704
Look at us. We're together
again, freezing our nuts off.
1298
01:21:21,776 --> 01:21:24,040
No teaming upl That's a rulel
1299
01:21:24,112 --> 01:21:26,307
You're such dicks!
1300
01:21:26,381 --> 01:21:29,145
- Both of you are dicks!
- I'm gonna go save him.
1301
01:21:29,217 --> 01:21:31,412
- Please.
- You coming?
1302
01:21:31,486 --> 01:21:34,250
No, I'm good right here.
1303
01:21:35,323 --> 01:21:37,314
All right, man.
1304
01:21:46,167 --> 01:21:48,158
I'm good right here.
1305
01:22:05,186 --> 01:22:06,949
Guys, it's time.
1306
01:22:08,823 --> 01:22:12,782
That better be your lucky R2 poking me.
1307
01:22:12,861 --> 01:22:15,591
Nope. My penis.
1308
01:22:18,266 --> 01:22:20,200
You guys are gross.
1309
01:22:40,822 --> 01:22:43,313
Any, uh... Any sign of Hutch?
1310
01:22:50,732 --> 01:22:53,030
- Talk to me.
- It's me. Where the hell are you?
1311
01:22:53,101 --> 01:22:55,535
I'm just finishing up
at the garage here, man.
1312
01:22:55,603 --> 01:22:59,232
- Shake a leg, ya bastard. We're saving your place.
- All right.
1313
01:23:09,484 --> 01:23:11,748
Okay!
1314
01:23:11,820 --> 01:23:15,722
Yes! That's awesome. That's awesome.
1315
01:23:15,790 --> 01:23:18,486
- Hey!
- Hey! Oh, my God!
1316
01:23:18,560 --> 01:23:20,494
Right at the buzzer.
1317
01:23:20,562 --> 01:23:22,393
Yeah!
1318
01:23:24,332 --> 01:23:27,358
Excuse me. Are you Eric Bottler?
1319
01:23:27,435 --> 01:23:28,834
Yeah.
1320
01:23:31,272 --> 01:23:34,571
- We just got your new comic.
- Whoa.
1321
01:23:34,642 --> 01:23:37,008
- Thanks, guys. I appreciate that.
- I don't.
1322
01:23:37,078 --> 01:23:39,103
I think it's quite shoddy.
1323
01:23:39,180 --> 01:23:42,775
- Worst series ever.
- Total Lucas rip-off!
1324
01:23:42,851 --> 01:23:46,252
- The artwork is neophyte.
- At best.
1325
01:23:46,321 --> 01:23:49,085
- What's up, my nerds?
- Ah.
1326
01:23:49,157 --> 01:23:52,854
Why don't you ask the man for an
autograph? Ask the man for an autograph!
1327
01:23:54,596 --> 01:23:57,030
Do it!
1328
01:23:57,098 --> 01:24:00,556
" You are a douche bag.
1329
01:24:00,635 --> 01:24:03,627
Love, Eric Bottler. " Here you go.
1330
01:24:03,705 --> 01:24:07,937
All right, let's move it,
Boba Fags. End of the line.
1331
01:24:08,009 --> 01:24:10,944
- Move it! Let's go!
- Chaz, what the hell are you doing here, man?
1332
01:24:11,012 --> 01:24:13,446
Ah, come on, bro. It's the Wars.
1333
01:24:13,515 --> 01:24:16,484
I love that about you.
1334
01:24:16,551 --> 01:24:20,078
Look at you, C-3Penis Face.
How'd you pull that trim?
1335
01:24:28,163 --> 01:24:29,892
- Doctor.
- Oh!
1336
01:24:29,964 --> 01:24:31,898
- Smart man.
- Thank you, sir.
1337
01:24:31,966 --> 01:24:33,661
They're good. There you go.
1338
01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:37,136
- Hey, you guys. To Linus.
- Yeah, to Linus.
1339
01:24:52,754 --> 01:24:55,621
- Hey, you guys.
- What, man?
1340
01:24:55,690 --> 01:24:58,488
What if the movie sucks?
100146
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