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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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(tense music)
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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- Who am I?
5
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,799
My name is Carmilla Karnstein.
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When the black plague
devastated Europe, I was there.
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00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:30,943
When depraved witch finders
walked the Earth, I was there.
8
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:35,381
And when my condemned sisters
were flayed and burned alive,
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00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:37,583
I was there.
10
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:43,222
Some call me a witch, others
think me a demon, fools!
11
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,093
Shall I tell you my secret?
12
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:50,730
Carmilla Karnstein is more than a woman,
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more than a witch, for
your eyes behold a guise.
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00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:58,471
Do you hear me, poor mortal?
15
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:00,106
Down on your knees.
16
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,342
(cackling)
17
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:20,726
- Nice to see all my ghostly ghouls again.
18
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:23,629
I'm Debbie, your favorite graveyard slut,
19
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,332
and we have a very special episode
20
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,901
of Debbie Does Demons for you tonight.
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00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:32,371
We are turning the clocks back to 1723,
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00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:36,008
as we explore the life of the
most notorious witch bitch
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00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,777
who's ever humped a broom.
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00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:42,548
A salacious slut, who gave
even skeletons a boner.
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00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:46,786
The queen of naked evil,
Carmilla Karnstein.
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00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,020
(groaning)
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00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,255
Stop that!
28
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:52,858
Where were we?
29
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:55,494
Ah yes, Carmilla.
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00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:59,431
She was always on the prowl
for luscious virgin booty.
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00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:01,801
One taste of her orgasmic love smoothie,
32
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,037
and they were hot, horny, and hell bent.
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00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,507
Imagine flesh sliding against flesh,
34
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:10,376
twisting writhing bodies,
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00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:13,379
in Carmilla's personal orgy of the damned.
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00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,648
Now there was only one thing
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00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,150
that could stop her private passion party.
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00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,552
The Witchfinder.
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00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,889
(eerie music)
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00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,605
(music intensifies)
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00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,326
- Don't you know what's about to happen?
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00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:10,562
This is the greatest night of your life.
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00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:14,767
You're about to be an offering, a vessel,
44
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:18,804
to the greatest sorceress
who's ever walked the Earth.
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00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,439
My own mother.
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00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,674
- Your mother?
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00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,075
I don't understand.
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00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:28,314
- My mother passed many of
her dark powers on to me,
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00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,848
but not all.
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00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:33,152
Then, she was caught by the Witchfinder,
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00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,187
burned at the stake,
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00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,590
before she could achieve her great work.
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00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:43,595
Unleashing demons on the earth
to torment the race of man.
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00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,832
- That's the Devil's work.
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00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,067
(laughs)
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00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,469
- My mother was his handmaiden,
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00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:54,206
and with your virgin blood,
I shall summon her spirit
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to inhabit your body.
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00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,710
Do you understand?
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00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:01,981
My mother's great work shall
finally come true at last.
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00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,215
- Please let me go.
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- Witch!
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00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,857
- No, the Witchfinder!
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00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,225
- Seize the witch!
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00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:30,743
Carmilla Karnstein, this
tribunal condemns you to death!
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00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:36,749
For your sacrilegious acts
of heresy and witchcraft.
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00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:42,021
Just as I condemned your
evil mother Davinia.
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00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:47,359
Your agony shall be prolonged,
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00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,528
until you plea for your death.
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00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:54,299
Your eyes, messengers of evil,
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00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,569
shall be burned from their sockets.
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00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:04,576
Your tongue, poisoned by
a thousand blasphemies,
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00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,846
shall be torn from your mouth.
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00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,717
Prepare to meet your mother in Hell.
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00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,054
(laughs)
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00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,822
- Accursed wretches.
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00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:21,527
You think you can end my
evil by destroying my body?
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00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:24,963
My mother's power goes beyond the grave.
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00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:27,733
She'll find me another shell to inhabit,
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00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:32,738
until she is once again ready
to rip the gates of Hell open.
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00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,475
Maybe I'll take your body, Witchfinder.
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00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:39,278
That would be the ultimate jest,
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00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:43,549
to use a witchfinder's body
to do my mother's bidding.
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00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:44,850
- Silence!
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00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:49,054
If you shall not hold your
tongue, I shall take it!
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00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:04,603
Now tremble, Witch!
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00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,906
Tremble before the will of God!
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00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,908
(spits)
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00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,846
Behold my face, Witch!
90
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:17,182
For it is your last sight
you shall see on Earth!
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00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,325
(groaning)
92
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,303
(moaning)
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00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,648
The fool is mi... (coughs)
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00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,415
Mine!
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00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,320
(moaning)
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00:10:57,624 --> 00:11:02,227
The powerful, strong body!
97
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:03,829
It will serve me well!
98
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:15,374
- So Carmilla made the
Witchfinder her number one bitch.
99
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,477
Legend has it, she still
walks the earth today.
100
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,913
Others say she was
toasted like a marshmallow
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00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:23,615
at one of those Salem witch cookouts.
102
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:27,419
As for me, I like to believe
that she's still with us.
103
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:32,124
And, if I was a witchfinder,
I'd be very nervous.
104
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,426
That brings down the
curtain on another episode
105
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,228
of Debbie Does Demons.
106
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,496
I'll be back next week.
107
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:41,133
And remember, if you see
ghosty, ghouly, or a goblin
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00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,735
in your neighborhood, call Debbie.
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00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:44,603
Bye!
110
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:50,108
- Wow, Debbie is so cool you guys.
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00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:52,244
I hope I get to meet her one day.
112
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,213
- She's got a bangin' little bod.
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00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,783
Maybe she'd let me in
her chamber of secrets.
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00:11:57,784 --> 00:12:00,419
- Adam, if you even touch
that skank without me,
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00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,354
I will put your balls in a blender.
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00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:05,424
- (laughs) Sounds kinky,
I might be down for this.
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00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:08,360
- Adam, whatever you two are about to do,
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00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,561
take it to the bedroom.
119
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,663
No one wants to see that, especially me.
120
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,732
- Wait wait wait, hold on hold on.
121
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,700
Let him stay.
122
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:15,500
- Lauren!
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00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,769
- Listen, I've got a
really really cool idea,
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00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:20,205
and I need four of us for it.
125
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:22,040
- What's that, naked twister?
126
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:23,775
Because I'm definitely down for it.
127
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:25,877
- Not today, Adam.
128
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:27,212
Maybe another time.
129
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:29,748
Tonight, I think that we
should talk to the spirit
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00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,550
of Carmilla Karnstein.
131
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,318
- That witch from the T. V?
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00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:35,988
- Room.
133
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:40,826
Listen you guys, Carmilla
was a real person, okay?
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00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,728
She was alive 300 years ago.
135
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:45,430
She had amazing, crazy, witchy powers.
136
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,033
She was some sort of,
like, amazing sorceress.
137
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,801
Don't you guys think that
it would be really cool
138
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:50,702
to talk to her?
139
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:53,572
- Wait, since when did you
become an expert on witches?
140
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:56,975
- Well, I've been doing
lots of research on Carmilla
141
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:59,478
ever since I got my genealogy report back.
142
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,479
And get this,
143
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,548
it says that I'm a direct
descendant of Carmilla.
144
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:04,616
Don't you guys see?
145
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,018
This is why I brought you over here,
146
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,186
so that you guys could
watch Debbie with me.
147
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:11,089
I knew she was gonna talk about Carmilla.
148
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:12,357
- Okay wait, this is crazy.
149
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,761
So you are directly
related to a real witch?
150
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:16,561
- Yeah.
151
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:19,298
- Okay Lauren, I need you
to please do me this favor.
152
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,932
I need you to put a spell on Adam,
153
00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:22,968
so he lasts longer than
two minutes in bed, please.
154
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,102
(laughter)
155
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:26,204
- [Adam] We're not supposed
to talk about that.
156
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:27,039
- I'm sorry, babe.
157
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,474
- Listen listen listen, seriously guys.
158
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:30,776
I have an Ouija board.
159
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,944
I say that we talk to Carmilla.
160
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:35,714
- You can talk to dead
people with an Ouija board?
161
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:36,548
- Yeah.
162
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,016
- I want to talk to Kurt Cobain.
163
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:38,817
- Why?
164
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,786
So he can say if you
smell like teen spirit?
165
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,288
- (whispers) Fuck you, Adam.
166
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:44,456
- Oh my God, guys.
167
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:49,361
It's my Ouija board, I say
that we talk to Carmilla now.
168
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,562
Would you guys like some wine?
169
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,531
Because I've heard that a little wine
170
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,067
will really help you guys get
in touch with the spirits.
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00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,102
- Okay well you had me
at wine, let's do this.
172
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,570
- [Jan] So, what you're saying is
173
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,339
that you want all of us to get drunk,
174
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,740
and talk to a bunch of ghosts.
175
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:02,841
Is that right?
176
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,042
- Yeah.
177
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,611
- Keep me liquored up, and I be your mama.
178
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,615
(upbeat music)
179
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,654
- Really good show tonight, Debbie.
180
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:18,090
- (scoffs) Don't you
mean really cheap show?
181
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:21,493
Is our budget so low that my
director has to play a zombie?
182
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:24,096
And don't think I didn't notice
you trying to cop a feel.
183
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,298
- (laughs) Hey, I was
getting into character.
184
00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:27,799
- (scoffs) Yeah, whatever.
185
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,501
- And you almost had me goin' tonight.
186
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,371
All that talk about witches, spooky.
187
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,905
- It's all real Eddie.
188
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:35,707
Carmilla Karnstein really existed,
189
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,777
and for all we know, she could
still exist among us today.
190
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:41,179
- Oh yeah well, I can't see her.
191
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,315
Me on the other hand, I'm right here.
192
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,650
And I got a bottle of Lynchburg's finest,
193
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,352
and I don't mind sharing.
194
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:49,955
- Gosh, with little old me?
195
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,556
I must be a lucky girl.
196
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,425
- Was kind kind of hoping I'd be the one
197
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,026
to get lucky tonight.
198
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,195
- (laughs) I bet you were Eddie.
199
00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:59,865
But you know, talking
about demons and witches
200
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,833
really takes it out of a girl.
201
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:04,369
I think I'm gonna head home
and get a little beauty sleep,
202
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:06,104
if that's okay with you?
203
00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:07,706
- Well, I was thinking...
204
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:10,175
- And you keep right on thinking, Eddie.
205
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,610
A girl can take one look at you,
206
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,446
and notice that you're
a very deep thinker.
207
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,647
- Wow, Debbie.
208
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:16,748
You really mean that?
209
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,250
- Every word, Eddie.
210
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,217
Goodnight.
211
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,224
- You know what?
212
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:27,759
I think that babe likes me.
213
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:35,200
- Carmilla Karnstein, I summon you.
214
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,471
Carmilla, do you hear me?
215
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,206
- Ask her if she knows Kurt Cobain.
216
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,245
- This is the voice of Lauren,
217
00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:51,149
one of your devotees,
your flesh and blood.
218
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,617
Do you hear me?
219
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:53,919
Please answer me.
220
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:58,957
Look into my soul, Carmilla.
Feel the blood that links us.
221
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,258
Are you with us?
222
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,963
Please, we come to you with
humility, with respect.
223
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:08,033
(thud in background)
224
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:08,900
- What the hell was that?
225
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,035
- That was you, wasn't it.
226
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:11,403
You just kicked under
the table, didn't you?
227
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:13,438
- It wasn't me, it was
one of those bitches.
228
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:14,639
- Did you just call me a bitch?
229
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,007
- If the shoe fits.
- Silence!
230
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,709
- Well you little cock sucker, I oughta...
231
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,411
- Guys I feel a presence!
232
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,412
Fingers back on.
233
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,987
Carmilla Karnstein, do you hear me?
234
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,156
I summon you.
235
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,796
Is it you, Carmilla?
236
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:39,965
Do you hear me?
237
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,974
- Yo fuck this, we're
out of here, let's go.
238
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,081
(gagging)
239
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,824
- Lauren, what's happening?
240
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:15,200
(screaming)
241
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,034
Oh hell no!
242
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:32,617
This isn't happening,
this isn't happening.
243
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:35,053
This isn't happening.
244
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,923
(shower turns on)
245
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:48,667
Who's in there?
246
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,202
Who's in the shower?
247
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:22,801
Hello?
248
00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:01,940
- Don't you recognize me, Jan?
249
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,248
- Who are you?
250
00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:13,652
How do you know my name?
251
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:18,156
- [Carmilla] You summoned me,
my name is Carmilla Karnstein.
252
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,558
- There's no way! You're lying!
253
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:23,695
Carmilla Karnstein lived 300 years ago!
254
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,766
- But I'm here.
255
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,534
You can see me, yes?
256
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,305
- This is, I've gotta be dreaming.
257
00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:36,508
It was Lauren's fucking wine.
258
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,476
I have to be dreaming, that's...
259
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:39,277
That's it.
260
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,346
- Am I a dream?
261
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:45,216
Is this what a dream looks like?
262
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:47,886
Is this what a dream feels like?
263
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:57,862
(unearthly music)
264
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:48,446
(tense music)
265
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,198
(screaming)
266
00:22:15,234 --> 00:22:17,135
Don't resist.
267
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:18,870
Let it happen.
268
00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:20,271
It can be beautiful.
269
00:22:21,373 --> 00:22:22,440
So beautiful.
270
00:22:48,434 --> 00:22:50,068
- Hey babe, catch.
271
00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:53,838
- What do you think you're doing?
272
00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:56,374
- [Adam] Just chillin', is
there anything wrong with that?
273
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,275
- Don't play games with me,
274
00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:58,443
I know exactly what you're doing.
275
00:22:58,444 --> 00:23:00,044
- [Adam] And what would that be?
276
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:04,849
- (sighs) I've just had
the shit scared out of me,
277
00:23:04,850 --> 00:23:07,485
and now you want to be the
calm one, the brave one.
278
00:23:07,486 --> 00:23:09,287
You just wanna be in here all chill.
279
00:23:09,288 --> 00:23:11,789
You wanna be chill and screw.
280
00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:13,591
- You say that like it's a bad thing.
281
00:23:13,592 --> 00:23:15,793
- Did it not occur to
you that maybe right now
282
00:23:15,794 --> 00:23:17,528
is not the best time to bang?
283
00:23:17,529 --> 00:23:20,198
Like, we just got all
freaked out downstairs.
284
00:23:20,199 --> 00:23:21,866
Our best friend, Lauren, is...
285
00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:25,036
We don't know, should we
maybe wonder about her?
286
00:23:25,037 --> 00:23:28,373
- Since when is Lauren my best friend?
287
00:23:28,374 --> 00:23:29,340
You know what?
288
00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:31,009
I think you like her, I
mean you really like her.
289
00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:35,213
- (laughs) What are you talking about?
290
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:36,047
- Oh, I know.
291
00:23:36,048 --> 00:23:37,582
I've seen the way that you look at her.
292
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:39,217
You sure don't look at me that way.
293
00:23:39,218 --> 00:23:41,719
- You are insane, I don't even
know why I'm living with you.
294
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,888
You are a sad, pathetic, loser.
295
00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:47,926
You wanna talk about a sick fixation?
296
00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:50,795
You are the one that watches
yourself when we bang.
297
00:23:50,796 --> 00:23:53,564
If you can figure out a way
to fuck yourself, you would.
298
00:23:53,565 --> 00:23:54,966
- Oh, is that supposed to hurt me?
299
00:23:54,967 --> 00:23:56,901
I find it pretty funny.
300
00:23:56,902 --> 00:23:59,771
- Of course you do, you
think everything's a joke.
301
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,539
- Huh, not everything.
302
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:03,408
I'm starting to think
that Ouija board shit,
303
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:05,043
at first I thought it was a joke,
304
00:24:05,044 --> 00:24:05,910
but now...
305
00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:07,412
- Now what?
306
00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:08,980
- I'm not so sure.
307
00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:11,883
I mean it had Lauren really freaked out.
308
00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:13,318
- Yeah, it really did.
309
00:24:13,319 --> 00:24:15,453
Maybe we should go check on her?
310
00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:18,623
- I guess.
311
00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:20,258
Yeah, we should go check on her.
312
00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:25,630
I thought we were gonna
go check on Lauren.
313
00:24:25,631 --> 00:24:28,232
- Yeah, but we both
don't need to go do that.
314
00:24:28,233 --> 00:24:29,667
Why don't you just go
check on her real quick,
315
00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:30,501
and come back.
316
00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:32,036
Oh, and while your down there,
317
00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:34,505
grab me a bottle of wine and a glass.
318
00:24:34,506 --> 00:24:36,240
- Yes ma'am, anything else?
319
00:24:36,241 --> 00:24:39,077
- Um yeah, there actually
is something else.
320
00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,846
Can you maybe not be such a big asshole?
321
00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:44,282
- Probably not.
322
00:24:44,283 --> 00:24:46,651
- [Ashley] I didn't think so.
323
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,597
- Shit Lauren, are you okay?
324
00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:03,301
Lauren, Lauren!
325
00:25:03,302 --> 00:25:05,370
Shit, Lauren, what's going on?!
326
00:25:05,371 --> 00:25:06,371
Don't freak me out!
327
00:25:12,077 --> 00:25:12,944
- Adam.
328
00:25:13,879 --> 00:25:16,014
- Who said that, is that you Ash-ley?
329
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:18,282
- Adam.
330
00:25:19,952 --> 00:25:21,152
- Hey, you're not Ashley.
331
00:25:21,153 --> 00:25:23,287
Who, who, who are you?
332
00:25:23,288 --> 00:25:24,088
- Who am I?
333
00:25:25,591 --> 00:25:27,291
Don't you know?
334
00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:28,593
Didn't you summon me?
335
00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:30,728
- Summon you?
336
00:25:30,729 --> 00:25:32,864
We played with some Ouija board,
337
00:25:32,865 --> 00:25:35,166
and Lauren wanted to
talk to some crazy witch.
338
00:25:35,167 --> 00:25:38,369
- Do you think that I'm a witch, Adam?
339
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,038
- Hey, how do you know my name?
340
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:41,539
Who are you?
341
00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:45,076
- (laughs) I'm a woman
unlike you've ever known.
342
00:25:45,077 --> 00:25:48,413
I walked the Earth 300 years ago.
343
00:25:48,414 --> 00:25:52,250
But now... oh, brave new world!
344
00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:55,720
With such creatures in it.
345
00:25:57,156 --> 00:25:59,090
- Lady, tell me the truth.
346
00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:01,826
Who are you, did somebody
send you here to freak me out?
347
00:26:01,827 --> 00:26:04,062
To believe in all this witch shit?
348
00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:06,164
If you want me to believe in it, prove it.
349
00:26:06,165 --> 00:26:07,031
And on top of that,
350
00:26:07,032 --> 00:26:09,367
you better not mess with me or my friends.
351
00:26:09,368 --> 00:26:11,436
(laughs)
352
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:21,245
(gagging)
353
00:26:25,350 --> 00:26:26,517
- Help.
354
00:26:26,518 --> 00:26:30,021
- When you speak to me, get on your knees.
355
00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:33,491
Much better.
356
00:26:33,492 --> 00:26:35,760
Can you guess what happens next?
357
00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:43,468
I shall rip out your heart
and feast on your soul.
358
00:26:46,505 --> 00:26:49,006
- (gasps) Shit.
359
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,077
That was a fucked up dream.
360
00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:00,051
What do you think?
361
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,122
That show I did on Carmilla Karnstein
362
00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:05,823
must have really got to me.
363
00:27:06,658 --> 00:27:10,027
Carmilla was alive and
turning people into demons.
364
00:27:11,997 --> 00:27:13,798
That's batshit crazy.
365
00:27:15,033 --> 00:27:17,034
(sighs)
366
00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:21,139
I mean, isn't it?
367
00:27:22,107 --> 00:27:24,642
(sighs) Why do I ask you?
368
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,777
You never agree with me anyways.
369
00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:32,450
Oh, you think I'm crazy?
370
00:27:32,451 --> 00:27:33,918
(scoffs) Well thank you very much,
371
00:27:33,919 --> 00:27:35,153
it's nice to know I can count on you
372
00:27:35,154 --> 00:27:37,221
when I'm having a complete breakdown.
373
00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:42,193
Have you ever thought that
maybe you're the crazy one?
374
00:27:43,428 --> 00:27:47,532
(laughs) Well, you think
about that for a minute,
375
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:50,101
and I'm gonna go grab a beer.
376
00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:55,673
No you can't have one, sorry.
377
00:28:14,593 --> 00:28:15,593
Ah, my head!
378
00:28:19,131 --> 00:28:23,668
I'm getting an image and a name.
379
00:28:27,739 --> 00:28:30,408
(intense music)
380
00:28:35,247 --> 00:28:36,714
Carmilla?
381
00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,583
What the fucking fuck?
382
00:28:41,186 --> 00:28:43,221
- What's taking Adam so long?
383
00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:46,057
He better not be drinking my wine.
384
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,062
Adam, where are you?
385
00:28:52,331 --> 00:28:53,397
Oh my God, Lauren.
386
00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:57,635
Lauren, Lauren?
387
00:28:57,636 --> 00:28:58,436
Lauren?!
388
00:29:00,539 --> 00:29:01,339
Lauren, Lauren.
389
00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:05,376
- What?
- Are you okay?
390
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:07,578
- What happened?
391
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:11,415
- Um, I'm looking for Adam,
and he just disappeared.
392
00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:12,350
- What do you mean?
393
00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:16,621
- Perhaps I could help.
394
00:29:18,056 --> 00:29:19,557
- Lauren, who the hell is that?
395
00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:21,325
- Oh fuck.
396
00:29:24,296 --> 00:29:26,163
- Tell her Lauren.
397
00:29:32,170 --> 00:29:33,738
- It's you, isn't it?
398
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,407
You're here!
399
00:29:36,408 --> 00:29:38,876
- What are you talking about, who is that?
400
00:29:38,877 --> 00:29:42,713
- Ashley, you're looking at...
401
00:29:42,714 --> 00:29:45,082
Carmilla Karnstein!
402
00:29:45,083 --> 00:29:45,883
It's you!
403
00:29:49,755 --> 00:29:51,155
- You sensed it, didn't you?
404
00:29:52,157 --> 00:29:54,759
It's this blood that we share.
405
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,496
I know you, and you know me.
406
00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:02,099
- I summoned you...
407
00:30:02,100 --> 00:30:04,869
I summoned you and you're here!
408
00:30:04,870 --> 00:30:09,073
- From the dust of
centuries past, yes Lauren.
409
00:30:09,074 --> 00:30:10,875
Be careful what you wish for.
410
00:30:10,876 --> 00:30:12,810
- Where's Adam, what did you do to him?
411
00:30:13,745 --> 00:30:15,613
- Is he your lover?
412
00:30:15,614 --> 00:30:18,649
Does he satisfy you, Ashley?
413
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,018
Does he make you writhe with pleasure?
414
00:30:21,019 --> 00:30:22,486
- Where is he?
415
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:25,356
- I need him, I need his flesh.
416
00:30:25,357 --> 00:30:27,858
- You bitch!
- No, no, no, no, no!
417
00:30:27,859 --> 00:30:29,627
Don't touch her, don't touch her!
418
00:30:29,628 --> 00:30:31,295
- Very wise.
419
00:30:31,296 --> 00:30:35,966
Lauren knows who I am, and what I can do.
420
00:30:35,967 --> 00:30:38,803
- Please, just please
give him to me, please.
421
00:30:38,804 --> 00:30:40,638
- Would you like to see Adam?
- Yes!
422
00:30:40,639 --> 00:30:41,439
- Are you sure?
423
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:42,840
- Yes!
424
00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:44,342
- Adam!
425
00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:46,010
There's someone here to see you.
426
00:30:52,818 --> 00:30:55,186
Adam has a new friend now.
427
00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:58,055
Adam, show Ashley your friend.
428
00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:08,366
- What did you do to them?
429
00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:09,500
- Oh shit, this isn't good.
430
00:31:09,501 --> 00:31:10,634
Oh shit, this isn't good.
431
00:31:10,635 --> 00:31:12,837
- They have a purpose now,
432
00:31:12,838 --> 00:31:15,973
to serve me, forever.
433
00:31:15,974 --> 00:31:19,210
Now, I shall give you a purpose.
434
00:31:20,078 --> 00:31:22,813
- Let's go, let's go, let's
go, let's go, let's go!
435
00:31:22,814 --> 00:31:24,415
- No, Ashley, let's go!
436
00:31:24,416 --> 00:31:27,385
Come on, come on, let's go!
437
00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:28,219
Come on!
438
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,829
(cackling)
439
00:32:21,873 --> 00:32:24,942
- Come on, come on, come on, come on!
440
00:32:42,027 --> 00:32:44,295
(cackling)
441
00:32:51,036 --> 00:32:52,403
- Go, go, go, go!
442
00:32:52,404 --> 00:32:54,672
(screaming)
443
00:32:54,673 --> 00:32:55,506
Faster!
444
00:33:05,050 --> 00:33:07,418
(car thuds)
445
00:33:10,288 --> 00:33:11,755
- Ashley?
446
00:33:11,756 --> 00:33:13,491
Ashley, are you okay?
447
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:14,658
- You just killed him,
you just killed him,
448
00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:15,960
you just killed Adam.
449
00:33:15,961 --> 00:33:17,394
You're a murderer, you just killed him!
450
00:33:17,395 --> 00:33:18,696
- Ashley, that wasn't Adam.
451
00:33:18,697 --> 00:33:20,197
I couldn't help it, Ashley.
452
00:33:20,198 --> 00:33:22,366
He was gonna kill us,
that wasn't Adam anymore.
453
00:33:22,367 --> 00:33:23,400
- Just let me out of this car...
454
00:33:23,401 --> 00:33:25,135
- No, no, no, no, no.
455
00:33:25,136 --> 00:33:27,137
Jan is back there with
that crazy witch bitch.
456
00:33:27,138 --> 00:33:28,839
Do you really wanna go back there?
457
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,641
- (whispers) Oh my God, oh my God.
458
00:33:30,642 --> 00:33:32,042
- Ashley.
459
00:33:32,043 --> 00:33:33,377
Ashley?
460
00:33:33,378 --> 00:33:34,178
Ash?
461
00:33:34,179 --> 00:33:35,145
(heavy breathing)
462
00:33:35,146 --> 00:33:36,013
Ashley?
463
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:37,882
Ashley, hey.
464
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:40,351
Ash, Ashley?
465
00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:41,418
Ashley, are you okay?
466
00:33:44,456 --> 00:33:45,956
- You failed!
467
00:33:45,957 --> 00:33:50,227
I gave you the power, my power,
the power of our Dark Lord,
468
00:33:50,228 --> 00:33:51,462
and you let them escape!
469
00:33:52,731 --> 00:33:54,331
You must be punished!
470
00:33:56,401 --> 00:33:59,136
I summon you, Dark Prince.
471
00:33:59,137 --> 00:34:01,438
Come forth and take this pitiful flesh
472
00:34:01,439 --> 00:34:04,141
and mold it into your image.
473
00:34:04,142 --> 00:34:07,011
Use this as your vessel, for evil!
474
00:34:12,083 --> 00:34:14,351
(groaning)
475
00:34:39,611 --> 00:34:41,745
(moaning)
476
00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:48,619
(thunder crashes)
477
00:34:54,326 --> 00:34:56,527
(moaning)
478
00:35:13,278 --> 00:36:05,763
(moaning continues)
479
00:36:59,951 --> 00:37:02,586
(intense music)
480
00:37:40,492 --> 00:37:42,426
- Give me that remote.
481
00:37:42,427 --> 00:37:43,861
- Hey, I was watching that.
482
00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:45,863
- Well, I think it's gross.
483
00:37:45,864 --> 00:37:48,365
Don't you have something
decent we can watch?
484
00:37:48,366 --> 00:37:50,367
- Define decent.
485
00:37:50,368 --> 00:37:54,004
- Decent, a movie that
doesn't make me gag.
486
00:37:54,005 --> 00:37:57,808
- Okay, so that rules out my
Lucio Fulci collection, um...
487
00:37:57,809 --> 00:38:00,144
- Don't you have any
Sandra Bullock movies?
488
00:38:00,145 --> 00:38:01,078
- No!
489
00:38:01,079 --> 00:38:02,446
- Reese Witherspoon?
490
00:38:02,447 --> 00:38:03,313
- No!
491
00:38:03,314 --> 00:38:04,515
- Taylor Swift?
492
00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:06,884
- Never say that name in this house!
493
00:38:06,885 --> 00:38:09,720
- (scoffs) Now you're just useless to me.
494
00:38:09,721 --> 00:38:11,321
- Well, I have wine.
495
00:38:11,322 --> 00:38:12,389
- Go on.
496
00:38:12,390 --> 00:38:16,226
- Carlo Rossi, Arbor Mist, Yellowtail.
497
00:38:16,227 --> 00:38:19,163
A couple of four-packs
of the Sutter Home, hmm?
498
00:38:19,164 --> 00:38:21,532
- Now you're being useful, go fetch!
499
00:38:21,533 --> 00:38:22,733
- Yes, ma'am.
500
00:38:22,734 --> 00:38:25,235
(phone rings)
501
00:38:28,540 --> 00:38:29,740
- Aren't you gonna answer that?
502
00:38:29,741 --> 00:38:31,341
- It doesn't look very important.
503
00:38:32,677 --> 00:38:33,544
- Lauren?
504
00:38:34,546 --> 00:38:35,679
Who is this...
505
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,181
Who exactly is this Lauren person?
506
00:38:37,182 --> 00:38:40,851
- She's a very, very distant friend.
507
00:38:42,187 --> 00:38:43,487
- Well, you should talk to her.
508
00:38:43,488 --> 00:38:46,256
- She's actually kind of a pest.
509
00:38:46,257 --> 00:38:48,258
- Then you should definitely talk to her.
510
00:38:48,259 --> 00:38:50,994
I wanna know what's going
on with you and this "pest."
511
00:38:52,931 --> 00:38:54,698
- Hello, Lauren.
512
00:38:58,203 --> 00:38:59,503
Look, no, no.
513
00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:01,705
This is really not a good time right now.
514
00:39:03,208 --> 00:39:04,208
- What did she say?
515
00:39:05,276 --> 00:39:07,344
- Apparently she's
being chased by a witch,
516
00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:09,780
her friends Jan and Adam
have been turned into demons,
517
00:39:09,781 --> 00:39:11,281
and she wants to come here.
518
00:39:11,282 --> 00:39:13,283
- Is she always like this?
519
00:39:13,284 --> 00:39:14,084
- Eh.
520
00:39:15,386 --> 00:39:17,387
Under no circumstances
should you come here,
521
00:39:17,388 --> 00:39:18,589
do not come here!
522
00:39:18,590 --> 00:39:21,792
Listen, make sure you
understand what I'm say...
523
00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:23,393
- What'd she say?
524
00:39:23,394 --> 00:39:24,595
- She's on the way.
525
00:39:25,597 --> 00:39:28,165
- I got news for you, she's here.
526
00:39:28,166 --> 00:39:29,600
- Oh God, not good.
527
00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:31,034
(groans)
528
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:32,035
- Your little crack whore
529
00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:34,371
is having a really, really bad trip.
530
00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:36,540
You need to go talk her down.
531
00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:38,041
- Yeah, I definitely want
to know what she's smoking,
532
00:39:38,042 --> 00:39:39,910
'cause maybe she has a little extra.
533
00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:40,811
- Claude!
534
00:39:40,812 --> 00:39:42,613
- Okay, okay, okay.
535
00:39:42,614 --> 00:39:43,680
Here we go.
536
00:39:43,681 --> 00:39:45,415
Oh, Lauren.
537
00:39:45,416 --> 00:39:46,884
- Okay, Claude,
538
00:39:46,885 --> 00:39:49,620
you seriously have no idea
what I've been through today.
539
00:39:49,621 --> 00:39:51,321
- Well, I think you said
540
00:39:51,322 --> 00:39:52,890
you were chased by witches and demons.
541
00:39:52,891 --> 00:39:53,690
Just that, right?
542
00:39:53,691 --> 00:39:57,127
No draculas, no trolls,
everybody loves trolls.
543
00:39:57,128 --> 00:39:58,562
- Okay, so you don't believe me then?
544
00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:00,264
- Oh no, no, Jessie and I, we believe you.
545
00:40:00,265 --> 00:40:02,633
- I'm staying out of this shit.
546
00:40:02,634 --> 00:40:04,568
- She's after me, Claude.
547
00:40:04,569 --> 00:40:08,205
Carmilla Karnstein is after me.
548
00:40:08,206 --> 00:40:09,006
- Okay.
549
00:40:09,007 --> 00:40:11,074
And who is Carmilla Karnstein?
550
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,010
- The 300 year old witch, Claude.
551
00:40:13,011 --> 00:40:14,578
Let's get with the program, okay?
552
00:40:14,579 --> 00:40:15,846
I need a place to hide.
553
00:40:16,948 --> 00:40:20,083
- Uh, didn't you say your
friend Ashley was with you?
554
00:40:21,219 --> 00:40:22,719
- (sighs) Oh my God.
555
00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:24,655
Ashley, I forgot about Ashley.
556
00:40:24,656 --> 00:40:25,589
You have to help me.
557
00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:27,157
You have to help me go get her.
558
00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:30,661
- You mean Ashley can't
walk up here by herself?
559
00:40:30,662 --> 00:40:34,164
Did she have a little too much
of that (imitates smoking)
560
00:40:34,165 --> 00:40:36,867
- Yeah, real funny Claude, real funny.
561
00:40:36,868 --> 00:40:39,036
Adam spewed all kinds of
demon goo all over her,
562
00:40:39,037 --> 00:40:40,604
and she passed out.
563
00:40:40,605 --> 00:40:42,372
- Isn't Adam her boyfriend?
564
00:40:42,373 --> 00:40:45,175
- Uh, was her boyfriend.
565
00:40:45,176 --> 00:40:48,178
Uh, now he's some kind
of demon fiend from hell.
566
00:40:48,179 --> 00:40:49,613
- He's a Republican?
567
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:50,447
- Oh my God.
568
00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:53,250
Claude, just help me go get her.
569
00:40:53,251 --> 00:40:54,751
Come on, let's go.
570
00:40:56,387 --> 00:40:57,187
- Okay.
571
00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:07,064
- Do you see her?
572
00:41:08,199 --> 00:41:10,267
'Cause I sure the fuck don't.
573
00:41:10,268 --> 00:41:11,068
Honestly.
574
00:41:14,205 --> 00:41:15,272
Where is she?
575
00:41:20,345 --> 00:41:22,145
- Bitch aint out here.
576
00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:23,780
- Any luck finding that bitch?
577
00:41:27,018 --> 00:41:29,586
If you ask me, this is
a fucking waste of time.
578
00:41:33,658 --> 00:41:35,025
- Oh, what the fuck?!
579
00:41:35,026 --> 00:41:36,660
- Hey, wait for me!
580
00:41:38,930 --> 00:41:41,164
(groaning)
581
00:41:48,439 --> 00:41:50,040
(panting)
582
00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:51,041
- Oh my God.
583
00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:53,610
- What the fuck was that?
584
00:41:54,946 --> 00:41:56,947
- Dude, that was Angela.
585
00:41:58,383 --> 00:42:00,250
- Are all your friends fucking demons?
586
00:42:01,552 --> 00:42:03,120
- It's starting to look that way.
587
00:42:04,122 --> 00:42:06,823
Listen, we need help.
588
00:42:06,824 --> 00:42:08,692
Do you know how to fight a demon?
589
00:42:08,693 --> 00:42:10,060
- I was just getting ready to relax
590
00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:11,461
for a quiet night at home.
591
00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:12,963
I was gonna pop a bottle of Chablis.
592
00:42:12,964 --> 00:42:16,266
I don't, I didn't want to fight demons.
593
00:42:16,267 --> 00:42:17,634
- Wine?
594
00:42:17,635 --> 00:42:18,835
You have wine?
595
00:42:18,836 --> 00:42:21,271
- Yeah, but is this the time
to be talking about wine?
596
00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:22,472
- Yes, this is the time for wine.
597
00:42:22,473 --> 00:42:26,143
I just watched my friend chew your friend.
598
00:42:26,144 --> 00:42:29,079
I want to get very, very drunk.
599
00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:31,281
- Okay.
600
00:42:31,282 --> 00:42:32,582
It's in the kitchen.
601
00:42:32,583 --> 00:42:33,417
- Perfect.
602
00:42:45,663 --> 00:42:47,864
- Okay, so I need a little recap
603
00:42:47,865 --> 00:42:49,599
about this little shit
storm we got goin' on here.
604
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,435
Can you take it from the top for me?
605
00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:55,505
- Alright, so this whole
thing is kind of my fault.
606
00:42:55,506 --> 00:42:58,575
I summoned a 300 year old
witch on an Ouija board,
607
00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:01,078
but not just any witch.
608
00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:04,948
I mean the ultimate, badass witch bitch.
609
00:43:04,949 --> 00:43:08,952
Okay, so you summoned her,
now you need to un-summon her.
610
00:43:08,953 --> 00:43:10,520
Okay, like make it...
611
00:43:11,689 --> 00:43:16,693
So listen, have you ever
seen Debbie Does Demons?
612
00:43:17,962 --> 00:43:19,196
- Is that some kind of porno?
613
00:43:19,197 --> 00:43:22,199
- No, it's a late night
cable show with Debbie,
614
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:23,400
she's a paranormal expert.
615
00:43:23,401 --> 00:43:25,135
She covers ghosts and ghouls and goblins
616
00:43:25,136 --> 00:43:26,903
and sectors and spooks
and hates and haunts
617
00:43:26,904 --> 00:43:29,039
and zombies and the
paranormal and all that.
618
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,608
Anyway, I bet she would know what to do.
619
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:33,343
- Okay, well how do we get a hold of her?
620
00:43:33,344 --> 00:43:37,781
- Uh, so the T.V. Station
WDFTV I'll just Google it.
621
00:43:41,786 --> 00:43:43,620
Okay, alright.
622
00:43:45,556 --> 00:43:46,423
Okay, okay.
623
00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:51,661
- Is it ringing?
624
00:43:51,662 --> 00:43:54,297
Tell her, tell her to bring, like, an ax.
625
00:43:54,298 --> 00:43:55,365
Oh, tell her to bring a chainsaw.
626
00:43:55,366 --> 00:43:56,666
- Okay, now it's ringing.
627
00:43:58,503 --> 00:44:03,173
(phone rings "All Star" by Smash Mouth)
628
00:44:07,245 --> 00:44:10,313
- You got WDFTV, what do you want?
629
00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:11,181
- Hello?
630
00:44:12,583 --> 00:44:15,085
Okay, my house has been
invaded by witches and demons,
631
00:44:15,086 --> 00:44:16,753
I need to talk to Debbie.
632
00:44:16,754 --> 00:44:19,389
- So you're saying you got
a real life spook house?
633
00:44:19,390 --> 00:44:22,192
Sounds like a good place
for our next episode.
634
00:44:22,193 --> 00:44:25,529
- Yes, absolutely, can you
send Debbie over right now?
635
00:44:25,530 --> 00:44:27,030
- I gotta run all this by Debbie first,
636
00:44:27,031 --> 00:44:29,166
why don't you call me back tomorrow.
637
00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:31,334
- Okay, but that might be too late.
638
00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:33,470
Where is Debbie right now?
639
00:44:33,471 --> 00:44:36,173
- Home I guess, I'm not her babysitter.
640
00:44:36,174 --> 00:44:37,841
How do I even know you're legit?
641
00:44:37,842 --> 00:44:40,043
She's got some crazy fuckin' fans.
642
00:44:40,044 --> 00:44:41,845
- But there's a demon outside of my house,
643
00:44:41,846 --> 00:44:44,214
it just ate my friend's date.
644
00:44:44,215 --> 00:44:45,348
- No shit.
645
00:44:45,349 --> 00:44:47,284
Like I said, I gotta run this by Debbie.
646
00:44:47,285 --> 00:44:50,120
You just tell your little
demon friend to hold tight.
647
00:44:50,121 --> 00:44:51,788
(laughs)
648
00:44:52,857 --> 00:44:53,723
- So what did he say?
649
00:44:53,724 --> 00:44:55,225
Can we talk to Debbie?
650
00:44:55,226 --> 00:44:56,293
- Hell yeah.
651
00:44:56,294 --> 00:44:58,361
And I know exactly how we're gonna do it.
652
00:45:02,733 --> 00:45:06,236
- It's me again, Debbie,
your favorite ghoul friend.
653
00:45:06,237 --> 00:45:08,305
And tonight, I've got a report for you
654
00:45:08,306 --> 00:45:10,140
on a super spooky place,
655
00:45:10,141 --> 00:45:13,376
that makes Amityville look
like Pee-wee's Fun House.
656
00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:17,380
That's right, a group of top
paranormal ghost whackers
657
00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:20,016
spent a night in this moldy mansion,
658
00:45:20,017 --> 00:45:22,319
and came to a unanimous verdict.
659
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:25,155
This crib is straight up haunted, peeps.
660
00:45:25,156 --> 00:45:26,456
Need more proof?
661
00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:27,657
Take a look at this.
662
00:45:29,894 --> 00:45:32,395
(eerie music)
663
00:47:03,354 --> 00:47:05,322
- Welcome to the Church of Hallowed Holes.
664
00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:06,556
- Please come inside.
665
00:47:26,277 --> 00:47:28,945
(intense music)
666
00:48:57,935 --> 00:49:00,170
(groaning)
667
00:49:01,038 --> 00:49:03,673
(intense music)
668
00:49:17,455 --> 00:49:19,622
(heavy breathing)
669
00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:23,259
(speaking foreign language)
670
00:49:33,704 --> 00:49:35,338
- I don't know about you,
671
00:49:35,339 --> 00:49:38,141
but if that pesky ghost
lays a finger on this girl,
672
00:49:38,142 --> 00:49:39,709
it's gonna be on the receiving end
673
00:49:39,710 --> 00:49:42,145
of a major ghost spanking.
674
00:49:42,146 --> 00:49:44,514
That's all for tonight,
come see me next week
675
00:49:44,515 --> 00:49:47,784
on your favorite late night
spook show, Debbie Does Demons.
676
00:49:47,785 --> 00:49:48,852
Goodnight.
677
00:49:50,354 --> 00:49:51,654
- And cut.
678
00:49:53,357 --> 00:49:54,290
Good job, Debbie.
679
00:49:54,291 --> 00:49:55,925
I don't know how you do it every week.
680
00:49:55,926 --> 00:49:57,594
- It's called talent, Eddie.
681
00:49:57,595 --> 00:49:59,429
Something that you know nothing about.
682
00:49:59,430 --> 00:50:01,931
- Well, you know, now that we're done,
683
00:50:01,932 --> 00:50:03,533
I was thinking there's
this place down the street,
684
00:50:03,534 --> 00:50:07,303
they got these big, huge, thick, juicy,
685
00:50:07,304 --> 00:50:10,373
greasy Italian sausage and peppers.
686
00:50:10,374 --> 00:50:12,308
And I was thinking, you know...
687
00:50:12,309 --> 00:50:15,378
- That you want me to
watch you stuff your face?
688
00:50:15,379 --> 00:50:18,815
Mm, tempting, but I think I'll pass.
689
00:50:18,816 --> 00:50:19,749
- Oh, wait, wait, wait.
690
00:50:19,750 --> 00:50:22,385
Uh, there was this chick
that called earlier,
691
00:50:22,386 --> 00:50:24,320
something about demons, or witches,
692
00:50:24,321 --> 00:50:26,055
or whatever in her house.
693
00:50:26,056 --> 00:50:27,323
I thought it might be
good for the next show.
694
00:50:27,324 --> 00:50:28,558
You wanna check it out?
695
00:50:28,559 --> 00:50:31,961
- Here's a better idea, how
about you go check it out
696
00:50:31,962 --> 00:50:34,631
and if you see anything
spooky, take a couple selfies,
697
00:50:34,632 --> 00:50:37,066
and maybe I'll put you
on next week's show.
698
00:50:37,067 --> 00:50:38,034
Bye.
699
00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:51,848
- Ah!
700
00:50:51,849 --> 00:50:52,982
Who the fuck are you?
701
00:50:52,983 --> 00:50:53,850
- Hi, Debbie.
702
00:50:53,851 --> 00:50:55,051
I'm Lauren, and this is Claude.
703
00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:56,085
- Hi.
704
00:50:56,086 --> 00:50:57,921
- We left a message for you earlier.
705
00:50:57,922 --> 00:51:01,057
- Was the message anything
about you breaking into my car?
706
00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:02,725
- We left a message about the witches.
707
00:51:02,726 --> 00:51:04,360
- [Claude] And demons.
708
00:51:04,361 --> 00:51:06,095
- [Lauren] So naturally,
we need your help.
709
00:51:06,096 --> 00:51:07,797
- Oh, naturally.
710
00:51:07,798 --> 00:51:11,000
- I mean, you're like an
expert on all this stuff right?
711
00:51:11,001 --> 00:51:13,570
Ghouls, zombies, poltergeists.
712
00:51:13,571 --> 00:51:16,105
- Wait, let me get this straight.
713
00:51:16,106 --> 00:51:18,107
You said there was a witch in your house?
714
00:51:18,108 --> 00:51:19,175
- Yeah.
715
00:51:19,176 --> 00:51:22,612
Not like an actual, like,
pointy nose, broomstick witch,
716
00:51:22,613 --> 00:51:24,614
but, like, definitely a witch.
717
00:51:24,615 --> 00:51:26,249
- Uh huh.
718
00:51:26,250 --> 00:51:29,252
And, how do you know she's a witch?
719
00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:32,388
- Well, she turned all of
Lauren's friends into trolls.
720
00:51:32,389 --> 00:51:33,890
- [Lauren] Demons, Claude.
721
00:51:33,891 --> 00:51:35,692
She turned them into demons.
722
00:51:35,693 --> 00:51:36,626
- (sighs) Demons, trolls,
723
00:51:36,627 --> 00:51:38,895
aren't they basically the same thing?
724
00:51:38,896 --> 00:51:40,463
- No, definitely not...
725
00:51:40,464 --> 00:51:43,333
Well, I don't know, are they Debbie?
726
00:51:43,334 --> 00:51:44,467
- Uh...
727
00:51:44,468 --> 00:51:45,768
No, absolutely right,
728
00:51:45,769 --> 00:51:48,538
a troll and a demon are
definitely not the same thing.
729
00:51:48,539 --> 00:51:49,405
- Wow, see?
730
00:51:49,406 --> 00:51:51,774
I told you, Debbie really is an expert.
731
00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:55,478
- (scoffs) Look, I say all
this stuff on television,
732
00:51:55,479 --> 00:51:58,715
but witches aren't real.
733
00:51:58,716 --> 00:52:00,850
I'm sure this is just some old hag,
734
00:52:00,851 --> 00:52:03,853
who's trying to make you
believe that she's a witch.
735
00:52:03,854 --> 00:52:04,721
- No, no, no.
736
00:52:04,722 --> 00:52:07,557
Listen, you would not say
that if you saw her, okay?
737
00:52:07,558 --> 00:52:09,058
The witch that's in my house,
738
00:52:09,059 --> 00:52:12,128
is the same witch that you
did an episode on last week.
739
00:52:12,129 --> 00:52:14,664
Do you remember the episode
of Carmilla Karnstein?
740
00:52:14,665 --> 00:52:17,166
That's her, that's who's in my house.
741
00:52:17,167 --> 00:52:19,502
- Okay, if you really watched that show,
742
00:52:19,503 --> 00:52:24,173
you would know that Carmilla
Karnstein lived 300 years ago.
743
00:52:24,174 --> 00:52:26,643
- Yeah, I know, I know.
744
00:52:26,644 --> 00:52:29,178
Uh, but I used a Ouija board.
745
00:52:29,179 --> 00:52:33,249
- (sighs) Okay, look.
746
00:52:33,250 --> 00:52:34,884
I don't believe you,
747
00:52:34,885 --> 00:52:37,587
but assuming that you're
telling the truth,
748
00:52:37,588 --> 00:52:40,657
and assuming that you
brought this witch back
749
00:52:40,658 --> 00:52:42,025
with a Ouija board,
750
00:52:42,026 --> 00:52:45,328
there should be a very
easy way to send her back.
751
00:52:45,329 --> 00:52:46,329
- (together) How?!
752
00:52:46,330 --> 00:52:48,398
- Destroy the Ouija board, of course.
753
00:52:48,399 --> 00:52:51,401
There has to be some sort
of ectoplasmic connection
754
00:52:51,402 --> 00:52:53,703
between the board and the witch.
755
00:52:53,704 --> 00:52:57,774
So, destroy the board, witch goes bye bye.
756
00:52:57,775 --> 00:52:59,909
- (sighs) There's just one problem.
757
00:52:59,910 --> 00:53:01,978
- And I'm sure you're
gonna tell me what it is.
758
00:53:01,979 --> 00:53:06,049
- So, the Ouija board is back at my house,
759
00:53:06,050 --> 00:53:09,118
and Carmilla is also there.
760
00:53:09,119 --> 00:53:10,620
And if I step foot in that place,
761
00:53:10,621 --> 00:53:12,488
she's gonna turn me into a demon.
762
00:53:12,489 --> 00:53:13,556
- Or a troll.
763
00:53:13,557 --> 00:53:15,124
- What's your hangup with trolls?
764
00:53:15,125 --> 00:53:16,359
- Well, I mean...
765
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:18,294
Look, if you turn into a troll
766
00:53:18,295 --> 00:53:19,362
it would be a lot better than a demon.
767
00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:21,197
What's the worst that can
happen if you turn into a troll?
768
00:53:21,198 --> 00:53:22,432
Like, your gonna keep me
769
00:53:22,433 --> 00:53:24,067
from crossing a bridge or something?
770
00:53:24,068 --> 00:53:26,502
- Okay well, if we don't stop Carmilla,
771
00:53:26,503 --> 00:53:28,237
she's gonna turn you into a troll.
772
00:53:28,238 --> 00:53:29,372
Is that what you want?
773
00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:31,074
- Well I mean, what about a gremlin?
774
00:53:31,075 --> 00:53:33,810
Maybe I'd be cool with being a gremlin?
775
00:53:33,811 --> 00:53:34,644
- I really don't think she's gonna
776
00:53:34,645 --> 00:53:35,812
give you a choice, Claude.
777
00:53:35,813 --> 00:53:36,746
- No?
778
00:53:36,747 --> 00:53:37,947
- No.
779
00:53:37,948 --> 00:53:41,250
- Look, I don't believe a
word that you two are saying,
780
00:53:41,251 --> 00:53:42,652
but how about this.
781
00:53:42,653 --> 00:53:45,955
You go back to your house,
grab the Ouija board,
782
00:53:45,956 --> 00:53:48,458
and I'll set in on fire on live T.V.
783
00:53:48,459 --> 00:53:49,459
How's that?
784
00:53:49,460 --> 00:53:52,829
- Well, since you don't
believe in witches, um,
785
00:53:52,830 --> 00:53:55,164
can you come back to the house with me?
786
00:53:55,165 --> 00:53:56,666
- Absolutely not.
787
00:53:56,667 --> 00:53:57,967
- She's afraid of trolls.
788
00:54:01,839 --> 00:54:03,539
- Fuck.
789
00:54:03,540 --> 00:54:07,243
Where the fuck is that
goddamn Ouija board?
790
00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:08,277
Goddamn it.
791
00:54:08,278 --> 00:54:09,112
Seriously?
792
00:54:10,414 --> 00:54:11,614
What the fuck?
793
00:54:19,690 --> 00:54:21,624
Yeah, that's not it.
794
00:54:24,695 --> 00:54:26,496
What the fuck?
795
00:54:26,497 --> 00:54:28,131
Seriously?
796
00:54:28,132 --> 00:54:30,566
- Looking for this?
797
00:54:30,567 --> 00:54:32,001
- Give it to me.
798
00:54:32,002 --> 00:54:34,370
- You should be pleased.
799
00:54:34,371 --> 00:54:37,373
You summoned me and I came.
800
00:54:37,374 --> 00:54:38,708
- That was a mistake.
801
00:54:38,709 --> 00:54:39,942
You don't belong here.
802
00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:42,311
This is not your time,
you have to go back.
803
00:54:42,312 --> 00:54:44,447
- To the age of the witchfinders?
804
00:54:44,448 --> 00:54:47,383
You'd do that to me,
your own flesh and blood?
805
00:54:47,384 --> 00:54:49,652
- Look, I shouldn't have summoned you,
806
00:54:49,653 --> 00:54:51,521
all of my friends are demons now.
807
00:54:51,522 --> 00:54:54,157
Is that your plan for me?
808
00:54:54,158 --> 00:54:56,225
- I could never harm you.
809
00:54:57,094 --> 00:54:59,462
My blood is your blood.
810
00:54:59,463 --> 00:55:01,397
We're different than the others.
811
00:55:01,398 --> 00:55:02,965
Better.
812
00:55:02,966 --> 00:55:07,837
All the world can burn, while
you and I reign supreme.
813
00:55:08,839 --> 00:55:11,307
- No, I will not be a part
of something like that.
814
00:55:12,342 --> 00:55:15,745
- Come to Wormwood
Cemetery and then decide.
815
00:55:15,746 --> 00:55:20,249
I shall raise the dead
to build our demon army.
816
00:55:20,250 --> 00:55:24,854
Then together, we'll rule
a new age of Hell on Earth.
817
00:55:27,257 --> 00:55:29,125
- I don't think so.
818
00:55:29,126 --> 00:55:30,426
I...
819
00:55:30,427 --> 00:55:31,260
No...
820
00:56:19,610 --> 00:56:22,478
(thunder crashes)
821
00:56:23,380 --> 00:56:26,048
- I don't like this, she's
taking too long in there.
822
00:56:26,049 --> 00:56:27,984
- I'm sure she's fine.
823
00:56:27,985 --> 00:56:29,819
Oh look, here she is.
824
00:56:29,820 --> 00:56:31,554
- Lauren, are you okay?
825
00:56:31,555 --> 00:56:33,189
- Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
826
00:56:33,190 --> 00:56:34,557
- Did you get the Ouija board?
827
00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:36,425
- No, it wasn't there.
828
00:56:36,426 --> 00:56:38,127
- What about the witch?
829
00:56:38,128 --> 00:56:39,428
- Carmilla was gone too.
830
00:56:40,330 --> 00:56:42,565
- (scoffs) I might've guessed.
831
00:56:42,566 --> 00:56:44,700
- But she has a message for us.
832
00:56:44,701 --> 00:56:46,002
- The witch left a message?
833
00:56:46,003 --> 00:56:47,503
What did she say?
834
00:56:47,504 --> 00:56:49,071
- She said that she wants us to meet her
835
00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:51,641
at Wormwood Cemetery tonight.
836
00:56:51,642 --> 00:56:54,343
She has a special surprise for all of us.
837
00:56:55,279 --> 00:56:56,846
- Well, run me back to the station,
838
00:56:56,847 --> 00:56:59,215
I want to grab my camera man for this.
839
00:56:59,216 --> 00:57:00,650
- Lauren, would it be
okay if I just, sort of,
840
00:57:00,651 --> 00:57:01,584
sit this one out?
841
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:03,853
- No, no, no, Claude.
842
00:57:03,854 --> 00:57:05,354
You have to be there.
843
00:57:05,355 --> 00:57:06,856
And you too, Debbie.
844
00:57:06,857 --> 00:57:09,358
After tonight, you guys are
gonna be seeing the world
845
00:57:09,359 --> 00:57:10,860
in a completely different way.
846
00:57:14,531 --> 00:57:17,233
(intense music)
847
00:57:41,558 --> 00:57:44,493
(knocking on door)
848
00:57:56,340 --> 00:57:57,139
- Hello?
849
00:57:58,842 --> 00:58:00,476
Is anyone here?
850
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,778
I've got some great news to share.
851
00:58:06,717 --> 00:58:08,150
Hello?
852
00:58:08,151 --> 00:58:09,585
- Can I help you?
853
00:58:11,021 --> 00:58:13,789
- I'm sorry, the door was open.
854
00:58:13,790 --> 00:58:15,424
I'm a Jehovah's Witness.
855
00:58:15,425 --> 00:58:17,860
I'd like to talk about God's plan for you.
856
00:58:19,229 --> 00:58:21,430
- I have a better idea.
857
00:58:21,431 --> 00:58:24,300
Why don't we talk about my plan for you?
858
00:58:28,438 --> 00:58:30,306
- What are you doing?!
859
00:58:33,810 --> 00:58:35,811
- Can you feel it?
860
00:58:35,812 --> 00:58:38,047
Your blood is getting warmer.
861
00:58:38,048 --> 00:58:40,049
It's starting to boil!
862
00:58:43,754 --> 00:58:44,553
- Stop it!
863
00:58:56,333 --> 00:58:59,068
- Another soul for our Dark Lord.
864
00:59:04,074 --> 00:59:04,907
Delicious.
865
00:59:09,646 --> 00:59:12,281
(intense music)
866
00:59:47,250 --> 00:59:49,518
- Does my lip gloss look okay?
867
00:59:49,519 --> 00:59:50,686
- Uh, it's fine.
868
00:59:51,521 --> 00:59:53,823
- Okay, let’s get this show rollin'.
869
00:59:57,894 --> 01:00:01,030
- Alright, this is Debbie
Does Demons, take one.
870
01:00:01,031 --> 01:00:02,698
And, action.
871
01:00:03,834 --> 01:00:06,535
- Hello again, ghost whackers.
872
01:00:06,536 --> 01:00:09,205
It's your favorite
graveyard tramp, Debbie,
873
01:00:09,206 --> 01:00:11,707
and do I have a show for you.
874
01:00:11,708 --> 01:00:15,778
I'm here at the super
creepy Wormwood Cemetery,
875
01:00:15,779 --> 01:00:20,416
for a special all-witch
episode of Debbie Does Demons.
876
01:00:20,417 --> 01:00:22,785
Remember Carmilla Karnstein?
877
01:00:22,786 --> 01:00:25,488
The super slutty sorceress
878
01:00:25,489 --> 01:00:27,857
that I told you all about last week?
879
01:00:27,858 --> 01:00:30,726
Well, I have it on good authority,
880
01:00:30,727 --> 01:00:34,296
that's she's making a very
special appearance tonight,
881
01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:35,731
right here.
882
01:00:35,732 --> 01:00:39,735
And I also hear that the old
girl is still pretty hot,
883
01:00:39,736 --> 01:00:41,937
even though she's 300 years old.
884
01:00:43,140 --> 01:00:45,441
Why don't we talk to a
couple of her friends,
885
01:00:45,442 --> 01:00:48,377
Lauren and Claude, and get the dish.
886
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:52,515
Hey guys.
887
01:00:52,516 --> 01:00:56,018
So, you're both claiming that
Carmilla's a straight up witch
888
01:00:56,019 --> 01:00:57,753
and has amazing witchy powers?
889
01:00:57,754 --> 01:00:59,255
Is that right?
890
01:00:59,256 --> 01:01:00,523
- That's right, Debbie.
891
01:01:00,524 --> 01:01:03,759
Carmilla is actually one
of my great ancestors.
892
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:06,529
And 300 years ago, she was
captured by a witchfinder
893
01:01:06,530 --> 01:01:09,532
and sentenced to be burned alive.
894
01:01:09,533 --> 01:01:11,033
But she escaped.
895
01:01:11,034 --> 01:01:14,837
And tonight, she is going to
show everyone her true power.
896
01:01:15,705 --> 01:01:20,409
- And, uh, exactly what
is Carmilla going to do?
897
01:01:21,978 --> 01:01:23,546
- Ask her yourself!
898
01:01:28,485 --> 01:01:29,718
- Oh my God.
899
01:01:29,719 --> 01:01:32,054
Not good, not good.
900
01:01:35,992 --> 01:01:37,126
- Excuse me,
901
01:01:37,127 --> 01:01:39,929
are you actually Carmilla Karnstein?
902
01:01:39,930 --> 01:01:41,730
The legendary witch?
903
01:01:43,066 --> 01:01:46,001
- I have a message for all mankind.
904
01:01:47,070 --> 01:01:50,573
I am Carmilla, your new queen.
905
01:01:50,574 --> 01:01:53,642
After tonight, every living
creature that draws breath
906
01:01:53,643 --> 01:01:55,377
shall bow before me.
907
01:01:56,446 --> 01:02:01,450
And ruling by my side, this
one, who shares my blood.
908
01:02:03,587 --> 01:02:07,723
Every queen needs an
army, and so it shall be,
909
01:02:07,724 --> 01:02:12,728
all weak mortals shall
serve as my demon slave.
910
01:02:13,396 --> 01:02:16,599
My army of the damned.
911
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:20,903
- Carmilla, that sounds like
a really interesting idea,
912
01:02:22,339 --> 01:02:26,242
but how do you plan on turning
913
01:02:26,243 --> 01:02:30,779
average Joe's like
Claude here into demons?
914
01:02:30,780 --> 01:02:32,915
- Debbie, you're not helping!
915
01:02:32,916 --> 01:02:34,783
- Excellent question.
916
01:02:34,784 --> 01:02:36,352
Let me show you.
917
01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:38,787
Come to me.
918
01:02:39,689 --> 01:02:41,290
- (stammers) I'd rather not.
919
01:02:42,192 --> 01:02:44,627
- I said come before me.
920
01:02:46,997 --> 01:02:48,564
- Let's go.
921
01:02:48,565 --> 01:02:50,065
On your knees, scum!
922
01:02:50,066 --> 01:02:51,867
- I'm on my knees, I'm on my knees.
923
01:02:54,304 --> 01:02:55,137
- Look at me!
924
01:02:55,138 --> 01:02:55,938
Look!
925
01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:00,709
(whimpering)
926
01:03:26,403 --> 01:03:29,104
Arise and worship me.
927
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:33,609
- Uh, hey guys, can someone
tell me what's going on here?
928
01:03:33,610 --> 01:03:36,178
Things are getting a little freaky.
929
01:03:36,179 --> 01:03:38,180
- Do you see that woman?
930
01:03:38,181 --> 01:03:41,050
She's yours, feed on her.
931
01:03:41,051 --> 01:03:44,420
- Now wait just a minute,
nobody's touching me.
932
01:03:44,421 --> 01:03:47,122
This is my show, and
the number one rule is,
933
01:03:47,123 --> 01:03:49,858
nobody eats the star!
934
01:03:49,859 --> 01:03:51,260
- Do you want me to keep filming?
935
01:03:51,261 --> 01:03:54,196
- No you idiot, I want you to help me.
936
01:03:54,197 --> 01:03:55,631
- Fuck that, I'm out of here.
937
01:03:55,632 --> 01:03:57,266
I don't get paid enough for this.
938
01:03:58,568 --> 01:04:00,836
(growling)
939
01:04:04,374 --> 01:04:06,508
(choking)
940
01:04:15,785 --> 01:04:18,020
(grunting)
941
01:04:21,658 --> 01:04:24,860
- I'm sending you back to
Hell, you motherfucker.
942
01:04:31,101 --> 01:04:33,969
Stay away from me!
943
01:04:33,970 --> 01:04:35,738
- Foolish girl.
944
01:04:35,739 --> 01:04:37,106
- Join us, Debbie.
945
01:04:37,107 --> 01:04:38,674
Share in our power.
946
01:04:38,675 --> 01:04:40,042
- No thank you.
947
01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:43,612
Being a demon lady is
not my idea of living.
948
01:04:43,613 --> 01:04:44,913
- Do I look like a demon to you?
949
01:04:44,914 --> 01:04:46,248
- You look like a bitch.
950
01:04:46,249 --> 01:04:48,317
I wish I knew where that Ouija board was.
951
01:04:49,319 --> 01:04:50,419
- You mean this?
952
01:04:52,555 --> 01:04:55,424
- I don't suppose I could
borrow that for a second?
953
01:04:55,425 --> 01:04:57,760
- That's not going to happen, Debbie.
954
01:04:57,761 --> 01:05:00,562
Carmilla is here to stay, but
I can't say the same for you.
955
01:05:00,563 --> 01:05:02,331
- Snap out of it, Lauren.
956
01:05:02,332 --> 01:05:05,434
You're under her spell,
you're not her slave!
957
01:05:05,435 --> 01:05:08,003
Destroy that Ouija board.
958
01:05:08,004 --> 01:05:11,140
- Lauren's not gonna
listen to you, Debbie.
959
01:05:11,141 --> 01:05:13,275
Lauren is mine.
960
01:05:13,276 --> 01:05:14,943
- No you're not, Lauren.
961
01:05:14,944 --> 01:05:16,912
You can break from her spell.
962
01:05:16,913 --> 01:05:19,515
Be strong, think about what
she did to your friends.
963
01:05:20,784 --> 01:05:25,220
Do it for Adam, do it for
Jan, do it for Ashley.
964
01:05:28,591 --> 01:05:32,294
Do it for them, destroy
that fucking board!
965
01:05:32,295 --> 01:05:33,295
- Jan,
966
01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:36,298
Ashley...
967
01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:39,668
- Kill her, Lauren, I command you!
968
01:05:42,872 --> 01:05:43,739
- Ashley!
969
01:05:44,974 --> 01:05:45,874
- Kill her!
970
01:05:55,118 --> 01:05:55,984
(sighs)
971
01:05:55,985 --> 01:05:57,119
- Debbie, dude.
972
01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:59,321
- I knew you could do it, and you did it.
973
01:05:59,322 --> 01:06:00,622
I knew you could.
974
01:06:00,623 --> 01:06:03,058
- I was so scared, oh my God.
975
01:06:03,059 --> 01:06:05,394
- She is gone now, we don't
have to worry anymore.
976
01:06:05,395 --> 01:06:07,062
- Your plan, it worked.
977
01:06:07,063 --> 01:06:08,464
She's back in her own time.
978
01:06:08,465 --> 01:06:09,998
- Oh, thank God.
979
01:06:09,999 --> 01:06:12,267
But Lauren, just promise me one thing.
980
01:06:12,268 --> 01:06:13,135
- Anything.
981
01:06:13,136 --> 01:06:16,638
- Don't ever fuck with an
Ouija board ever again.
982
01:06:16,639 --> 01:06:19,842
- (laughs) No problem.
983
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:26,348
(growling)
984
01:06:40,230 --> 01:06:42,798
(upbeat music)
985
01:07:10,326 --> 01:07:12,127
- Carmilla Karnstein.
986
01:07:14,397 --> 01:07:29,912
Carmilla Karnstein.
987
01:07:38,922 --> 01:07:40,722
- Babe, are you okay?
988
01:07:42,158 --> 01:07:42,991
Steve?
989
01:07:47,163 --> 01:07:49,998
(unearthly music)
990
01:07:51,367 --> 01:07:53,735
- You summoned me, Steve.
991
01:07:53,736 --> 01:07:55,170
You deserve a reward.
992
01:08:00,009 --> 01:08:02,244
(growling)
993
01:08:05,181 --> 01:08:07,616
It's so good to be back.
994
01:08:17,393 --> 01:08:21,096
- It's me again, Debbie,
your favorite ghoul friend.
995
01:08:21,097 --> 01:08:22,164
Take a look at this.
996
01:08:26,703 --> 01:08:31,707
(howling)
(crickets chirping)
997
01:08:46,222 --> 01:08:47,389
- Turn the camera on.
998
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:50,392
Greetings fellow perverts.
999
01:08:50,393 --> 01:08:53,729
My name is Newt Wallen, award
winning adult film star,
1000
01:08:53,730 --> 01:08:56,999
director, writer, producer,
all around artist.
1001
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:59,701
In the realm of erotic, I'm quite famous.
1002
01:08:59,702 --> 01:09:02,871
At this very site, 40
years ago to the night,
1003
01:09:02,872 --> 01:09:05,474
my father, who also
was a purveyor of porn,
1004
01:09:05,475 --> 01:09:07,876
brought four young
wannabe 80's starlets here
1005
01:09:07,877 --> 01:09:09,478
to read from an ancient book
1006
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:10,879
he received from a cultist,
1007
01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:14,516
after a long night of
coke and 80's, 80's-ness.
1008
01:09:15,518 --> 01:09:18,553
When he read from that book,
a great fire broke out.
1009
01:09:21,224 --> 01:09:25,127
And it was on that
night, at this very spot,
1010
01:09:25,128 --> 01:09:27,229
40 years ago to the night,
1011
01:09:27,230 --> 01:09:31,533
that my father and those poor
four adult film actresses,
1012
01:09:31,534 --> 01:09:34,870
in an attempt to conjure up
a demon by using dark magic
1013
01:09:34,871 --> 01:09:39,074
to have sex with, and make
dirty film picture history,
1014
01:09:39,075 --> 01:09:39,941
burned alive.
1015
01:09:39,942 --> 01:09:43,178
And now, we have returned
to that very spot
1016
01:09:43,179 --> 01:09:45,947
to once again try and
reach the other side.
1017
01:09:45,948 --> 01:09:47,949
And fuck it on camera.
1018
01:09:49,786 --> 01:09:53,588
- (speaking foreign language)
1019
01:10:00,196 --> 01:10:01,930
- Did it work?
1020
01:10:01,931 --> 01:10:03,331
- The ritual is complete.
1021
01:10:05,168 --> 01:10:06,935
- That it?
1022
01:10:06,936 --> 01:10:07,803
- Now what?
1023
01:10:09,539 --> 01:10:11,807
(growling)
1024
01:10:21,184 --> 01:10:24,686
- Shit, there's something in here with us.
1025
01:10:27,323 --> 01:10:28,590
- It worked.
1026
01:10:28,591 --> 01:10:30,826
- I'm a little discouraged
you're surprised by that.
1027
01:10:32,128 --> 01:10:32,961
- What?
1028
01:10:36,632 --> 01:10:39,234
(erotic music)
1029
01:10:49,746 --> 01:10:51,313
- Well fuck-a-doodle-doo.
1030
01:10:51,314 --> 01:10:53,148
- Primitive flesh stain,
1031
01:10:53,149 --> 01:10:55,217
why have you summoned me from the pit?
1032
01:10:57,887 --> 01:10:58,754
(gulps)
1033
01:10:58,755 --> 01:11:00,489
- Ah, well then.
1034
01:11:02,358 --> 01:11:06,862
Prepare your filthy soul for
pleasure beyond the realm
1035
01:11:06,863 --> 01:11:09,865
of what your fragile
monkey brain can fathom.
1036
01:11:11,234 --> 01:11:13,401
Touch the darkness, sub-creature.
1037
01:11:23,379 --> 01:11:25,981
(zipper zips)
1038
01:11:25,982 --> 01:11:28,650
(demonic growl)
1039
01:11:34,023 --> 01:11:35,757
- (gasping) My dick!
1040
01:11:35,758 --> 01:11:37,159
What did you do to my dick?!
1041
01:11:38,928 --> 01:11:41,163
(laughter)
1042
01:11:52,942 --> 01:11:54,576
- That's all for tonight.
1043
01:11:54,577 --> 01:11:55,677
Come see me next week
1044
01:11:55,678 --> 01:11:59,414
on your favorite late night
spook show, Debbie Does Demons.
1045
01:11:59,415 --> 01:12:00,215
Goodnight.
1046
01:12:01,884 --> 01:12:04,386
(tense music)
68578
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