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1
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* MTV. *
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00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,360
Are you still here?
3
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:19,870
You need to get going.
4
00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:23,070
I can't get going.
I told you I don't feel well.
5
00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:24,470
What's the matter now?
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00:00:24,670 --> 00:00:26,240
Oh, nothing, I just had
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00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,870
explosive fucking diarrhea
all night
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00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,440
because you decided
to get us KFC for dinner.
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00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,650
You have KFC all the time.
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00:00:32,850 --> 00:00:35,080
Yeah, and I have
diarrhea all the time!
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00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,650
You're not staying home all day
and playing Baldur's Gate 3.
12
00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:42,190
- Now let's go.
- Ugh!
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00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,720
Have a good day at school,
sweetie.
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00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,340
Fuck you, Mom!
15
00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:50,400
This is bullshit.
16
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,630
How do you get your mom arrested
for child abuse?
17
00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:54,900
She wouldn't let you stay home
and play Baldur's Gate 3,
18
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,240
huh, fat ass?
19
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,470
Who you callin' fat,
you heathen bitch?
20
00:00:58,670 --> 00:01:00,610
Dude, you don't wanna
miss school today.
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00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,810
Clyde said he's gonna fart
on Tammy Mullins during P.E.
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00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:06,080
Tammy Mullins has
sweet fucking knockers.
23
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,750
Dude, Kenny,
enough about Tammy's knockers!
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00:01:08,950 --> 00:01:10,220
You sound like
a white male trying to
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00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:11,950
re-establish the patriarchy.
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00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:15,120
(screaming)
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00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,490
Eric, it's okay.
28
00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:18,920
- It's okay.
- Mom! Mom!
29
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,330
I had a dream that...
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I was replaced
by a diverse woman!
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00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:23,760
Oh, not again.
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00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,100
Yeah, only this time,
it wasn't just me.
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They were taking all my favorite
people and replacing them
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with diverse women complaining
about the patriarchy.
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00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:32,340
Will you check
under the bed and make sure
36
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,040
there's no Disney executives
under there?
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00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,610
- I promise there's not.
- I'm scared, Mom!
38
00:01:36,810 --> 00:01:38,510
Will you please just look
and make sure Kathleen Kennedy
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00:01:38,710 --> 00:01:40,000
isn't under my bed?
40
00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:43,520
Kathleen Kennedy
is not under your bed.
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00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:44,880
Can you check the closet?
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00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:46,450
Eric, enough.
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00:01:46,650 --> 00:01:49,520
I've told you there's no such
thing as Disney executives
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who replace everyone you love
with diverse women
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who complain
about the patriarchy.
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Now be a big boy.
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00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,530
It's-it's not real.
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It's... it's not real.
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00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:03,950
* *
50
00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:15,860
(rooster crows)
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00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:18,580
- Get up!
- (yells)
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00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:20,420
Come on, Stan, get up.
Let's go.
53
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:21,620
- What, Dad?
- Downstairs.
54
00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:23,610
Let's go.
I'm sick of this shit.
55
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,790
Okay.
56
00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:29,660
It has come to my attention
lately that
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00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:33,600
young people today
don't know how to do shit.
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00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,570
You got your phones and your AI
and you kids haven't
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00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:38,870
learned to be able
to actually do anything.
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00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:40,640
So we're going
to take this morning to
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00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,940
learn how to fix something.
You see this?
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00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:47,080
See this?
The oven door isn't working.
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00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,750
It's falling off the hinges.
So what do we do?
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00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:51,070
Shelley?
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00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:53,420
I don't know.
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00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:54,690
It's very simple.
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00:02:54,890 --> 00:02:56,390
You gotta
make the hinges tighter
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00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:57,960
so the oven door's more secure.
69
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:01,360
So what you do is...
you take out your phone
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00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,030
and you call the handyman.
71
00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:05,860
(line ringing)
72
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:07,130
HANDYMAN (over phone): Hello?
73
00:03:07,330 --> 00:03:08,830
Hello. It's Randy Marsh.
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00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:12,610
My oven door is not working.
Please come fix it.
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00:03:12,810 --> 00:03:15,820
Now we rest
until the handyman comes.
76
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,980
(tool clicking)
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00:03:22,180 --> 00:03:24,620
Are you following this
at all, guys?
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00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:27,450
- Is this seeping in?
- Nope.
79
00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:30,320
No, it looks like
the screws are totally stripped.
80
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,760
What does that mean?
What's wrong?
81
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,690
Can't get 'er fixed right now,
I gotta get
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00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:35,960
some different washers
at the Home Depot.
83
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,400
Okay, do that.
84
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:38,660
Can't do it right now,
I gotta get
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00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,470
over to Stephen Stotch's house
86
00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:42,030
and install his closet shelves.
87
00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:45,140
Okay, see, kids,
this happens sometimes
88
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,740
but handymen don't make a lot
of money, so here's what you do.
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00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:50,210
Oh, okay, I will pay you
an extra 30 bucks
90
00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:51,940
if you fix my oven now.
91
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:55,350
Yeah, sorry, but Stotch already
gave me an extra 50 bucks.
92
00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:58,020
I will pay you
an extra 55 bucks.
93
00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:00,290
Randy, did you fix
the oven door yet?
94
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,260
I'm working on it!
95
00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:03,590
Look, please.
96
00:04:03,790 --> 00:04:05,190
Whatever you want.
I'll throw in a six-pack
97
00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:06,730
of beer and you can get drunk.
98
00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:08,790
I don't need your trivial
little perks anymore, Marsh.
99
00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:11,830
I got work comin'
out my ears. It's like...
100
00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:13,530
I don't know,
it's like nobody knows
101
00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,580
how to do shit anymore.
102
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:18,300
You're--
You're just gonna leave?
103
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,470
I'll pay a different handyman.
104
00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:21,770
Yeah, go for it, buddy,
105
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,290
I got so much money
I don't care.
106
00:04:26,330 --> 00:04:28,060
What the hell is going on?
107
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:32,350
All right, just try to relax.
Take a deep breath.
108
00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:36,760
(inhales) Now tell me exactly
what it is you're afraid of.
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00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,760
I keep having the same dream.
110
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,860
Everywhere I look,
people are being replaced.
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00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:45,500
Okay. And who do you think
is going to have you replaced?
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Them. The puppet masters.
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00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:50,470
The last time I had the dream,
I was, I was walking
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00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:52,170
down the school hallway...
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00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:54,740
* *
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00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,040
And then I see Butters,
and he's like...
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00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,280
(Cartman's voice):
Hey, Eric! You wanna see
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00:04:58,480 --> 00:04:59,610
what my mom packed me for lunch?
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00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:01,150
And that's when
I start to notice
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00:05:01,350 --> 00:05:02,580
that something's wrong.
Everyone I cared about
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00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,080
has been
systematically replaced.
122
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,720
And finally I want to scream
and I'm like...
123
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,590
Why are they replacing
every single character
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00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:09,250
with someone who is diverse?
125
00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:10,760
- But then Kenny's like...
- (Cartman's voice): It's not
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00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,260
our fault, it's 'cause of
Kathleen Kennedy.
127
00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:13,560
But then Kathleen Kennedy's
just like...
128
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:14,960
Fuck it! Make it more lame.
129
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,930
CARTMAN:
And everyone in town is like,
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00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:18,800
"No, please, Kathleen Kennedy,
stop ruining everything."
131
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,100
But Kathleen Kennedy
is all like...
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00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:21,630
Put another gay diverse
woman in it.
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00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,440
Make it more fucking lame.
134
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,570
And Disney stock just keeps
going down and down and down!
135
00:05:25,770 --> 00:05:27,240
And then Bob Iger is all like...
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00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,510
(Cartman's voice): No! No!
What's going on with my stocks?
137
00:05:29,710 --> 00:05:30,980
No, Kathleen Kennedy!
138
00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:33,300
(screaming)
139
00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:36,380
Oh. It happened again,
didn't it?
140
00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:39,620
Okay, Eric, I think I know
what's going on here.
141
00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:43,290
Your fears aren't about Disney
replacing everything you love.
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00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:47,890
What everyone is afraid of these
days is being replaced by AI.
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00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:49,430
- AI?
- But you don't need
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00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:51,030
to worry, Eric.
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00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:53,530
As long as you work hard
and stay in school,
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00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:55,170
you can make something
of yourself.
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00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:58,270
Become an elite worker like
I did that AI can't replace.
148
00:05:58,470 --> 00:05:59,870
You're a therapist
and the best thing
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00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:01,170
you have to tell me is
"stay in school"?
150
00:06:01,370 --> 00:06:03,910
You're in control
of your future, Eric.
151
00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:05,810
You just need to ask yourself,
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00:06:06,010 --> 00:06:07,180
"Who will be the people
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00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:10,130
still making money
in the AI-driven future?"
154
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,750
(electricity crackles)
155
00:06:12,950 --> 00:06:14,670
What the-- What the fuck?
156
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,930
(tool clicking)
157
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,490
Could you hurry it up, please?
158
00:06:21,690 --> 00:06:22,730
I kind of need to
get back to work.
159
00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:24,030
Yep, well, looks like
160
00:06:24,230 --> 00:06:25,800
you got a short
in the outlet there.
161
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,400
I'd have to get a new outlet
at Home Depot.
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00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,370
I can probably come
change it on the 28th.
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00:06:30,570 --> 00:06:32,340
28th? No, no, no, look.
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00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:34,640
I'll give a hundred bucks
to get this done today.
165
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,940
I already got a feller
giving me thousands
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00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:38,880
to fix his toilet
this afternoon.
167
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,450
Thousands?
I can't afford that.
168
00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:42,950
Free therapy sessions.
169
00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:45,320
How about we trade?
You do the handiwork for me.
170
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,650
And I'll give you five
free therapy sessions!
171
00:06:47,850 --> 00:06:49,190
Oh, no, thanks.
172
00:06:49,390 --> 00:06:53,910
I do all my therapy
on the AI Freudbot app.
173
00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,070
ANNOUNCER: This is
South Park Breaking News.
174
00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:02,230
Shocking developments
in the country today,
175
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:05,300
it appears that nobody
knows how to do shit anymore.
176
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,010
Our own Chris Martins
is live on the scene.
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00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,680
Tom, I'm standing in
my bathroom where the new
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00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,380
tile for my shower
has yet to be installed.
179
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:16,480
As you can see, the tile has
started to peel off in places.
180
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,050
Now the handyman was supposed
to come days ago to fix it
181
00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,490
but he claims to have
better offers
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00:07:21,690 --> 00:07:23,090
from other white-collar workers
183
00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:26,360
like me whose practical
know-how has atrophied.
184
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,560
It appears
we've all screwed ourselves
185
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,910
by relying on technology and AI.
186
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,840
- (phone chimes)
- Hey, Siri,
187
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,570
how do you fix
a broken oven door?
188
00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:43,610
SIRI: Here's what I found
from reference.com.
189
00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,880
Undo any screws that
hold the hinges in position,
190
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,010
pull the door upward
and then outwards
191
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,080
to detach hinges from the oven.
192
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,120
Insert the new hinge
into the hinge holes
193
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,990
and secure the hinges
with screws.
194
00:07:56,190 --> 00:08:00,330
Hey, Siri, okay,
can you do that for me?
195
00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,130
Can I do what for you?
196
00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:04,430
Can you fix my oven door for me?
197
00:08:04,630 --> 00:08:06,160
It's broken.
198
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,970
I cannot do that
because I do not have arms.
199
00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:12,100
You will need
to call a handyman.
200
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,540
The handyman isn't available.
201
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:16,210
He's all, like, rich now
202
00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:19,140
and I fucking rely on him to
keep everything working here!
203
00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:21,910
I am unable to fix an oven door.
204
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:25,420
Oh, well, hey, Siri,
I thought AI was supposed to be
205
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:29,120
this amazing scary advancement
that could, like, do anything.
206
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,020
Hey, Randy,
the oven door in the kitchen
207
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,010
- still isn't--
- I am working on it!
208
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,390
Hey, Siri,
all the handymen are rich
209
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,900
and I can't afford them anymore
so what do I do?
210
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,400
Perhaps you could find
an unlicensed worker
211
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,340
who does small day jobs
for cash.
212
00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:47,840
You mean like those
broke-ass illegal immigrants
213
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:49,810
down at Home Depot?
214
00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:51,880
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have said it that way.
215
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,050
Hey, Siri, you mean like those
216
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:56,650
broke-ass illegal immigrants
down at Home Depot?
217
00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:59,590
Yes. There are often
people sitting out front
218
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:02,660
of Home Depot
waiting to be hired for work.
219
00:09:02,860 --> 00:09:05,310
Yeah. Those guys!
220
00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:08,280
(school bell rings)
221
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:11,930
Hey, Kenny, can we talk to you?
222
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:13,400
Sure, guys, what's up?
223
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,530
Well, Clyde says that you
told Tammy Mullins
224
00:09:15,730 --> 00:09:18,000
he was gonna fart on her in P.E.
so she didn't show up.
225
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,040
Yeah, I might have told her.
226
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,710
Well, Kenny, everyone was really
looking forward to that.
227
00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,040
Why did you ruin it?
228
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:24,610
I told you guys
I think Tammy Mullins
229
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:27,510
- has sweet fucking knockers.
- CARTMAN: You guys!
230
00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:30,680
You guys! Something super crazy
is happening, you guys.
231
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,080
You went on a diet?
232
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,720
This is serious, Kyle!
233
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,220
At first they were just dreams,
234
00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:37,460
but now I feel like
I'm actually changing.
235
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:40,160
Why would I be having visions
that I'm a diverse woman?
236
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,160
Because you're a fat,
racist piece of shit.
237
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,560
Goddamn it, I'm not fat.
I'm just shamed for my body
238
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,330
in a world where white men
decide what's beautiful.
239
00:09:46,530 --> 00:09:48,700
(gasps)
What the fuck was that?!
240
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:51,770
Why would I say that?
I don't say that. You see?!
241
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:54,170
This is happening
to all of us, you guys.
242
00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:55,940
You might think
everything is okay.
243
00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:58,710
But Disney... is gonna get ya.
244
00:09:58,910 --> 00:10:00,480
Kathleen Kennedy's
gonna get ya.
245
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,320
Disney and Kathleen Kennedy
are gonna get ya!
246
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,120
(screaming)
247
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,790
I don't think that what
I'm experiencing are dreams.
248
00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:09,760
I think that what
I'm seeing are windows...
249
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,920
into alternate universes.
250
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,540
Yeah, okay, I'm out.
251
00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:15,490
It's true, Kyle, there could be
252
00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:17,230
other universes
with other versions of--
253
00:10:17,430 --> 00:10:19,030
Everyone's sick of
the stupid multiverse, Cartman.
254
00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:21,100
It's not stupid,
it's totally possible
255
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:22,700
and if you can't--
256
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:24,300
(muffled): Kyle? Kyle?
257
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,340
I swear, the multiverse is
just an excuse for lazy writing.
258
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,410
- Whoa. Kyle!
- Yeah, it's like
every damn movie now.
259
00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:29,710
Kyle, what is this?
260
00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:31,810
Uh, you might
wanna listen to him, Kyle!
261
00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:33,580
Kyle, you gotta help me!
262
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:34,650
Help me, Kyle!
263
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:36,630
(screaming)
264
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,030
(whistles) Hey!
265
00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:54,430
Hey, I need a worker!
266
00:10:54,630 --> 00:10:56,430
- Is that a handyman?
- There's one!
267
00:10:56,630 --> 00:10:57,940
- (all clamoring)
- Hey, you wanna trade?
268
00:10:58,140 --> 00:10:59,300
What the fuck?
269
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,270
Randy! You know how
to do stuff, right?
270
00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:02,540
I gotta get the radiant heat
271
00:11:02,740 --> 00:11:04,040
installed in my house
and I'm offering
272
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,880
free legal advice in exchange.
273
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,480
You need a reporter?
274
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,920
I'll report the news to you
if you fix my shower tile!
275
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,280
How about a computer programmer?
I can do coding!
276
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,020
Insurance broker?
Insurance broker?
277
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,650
What the hell are
you guys doing here?
278
00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:17,990
We're trying to get
a handyman to do stuff for us.
279
00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:20,130
You know how to
install radiant heat or not?
280
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:23,760
No, I need some broke-ass
immigrants to fix my oven door.
281
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,230
- (all groaning)
- Dang it.
282
00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:27,580
Hey! Here comes
a different handyman!
283
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:32,670
(whistles) Hey, anyone wanna
make a bunch of money?
284
00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:35,790
I need four workers who know
how to use a power saw.
285
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:39,380
I'll do lawyer work if
you install my radiant heat!
286
00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:41,210
I've got skills
in human resources.
287
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:42,610
Let's work something out!
288
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:46,230
No, I need guys that know
how to work a power saw.
289
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,610
None of you know how to
work a power saw? Jesus Christ.
290
00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:56,540
What universe is this?
291
00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:09,210
Yo, Kenny, we gotta
ask you something.
292
00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:12,080
Are you, like,
in love with Tammy Mullins?
293
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,680
I'm not in love with her,
I just like her knockers.
294
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,150
Okay, well, why would you
protect someone from getting
295
00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:19,850
farted on unless there
were some real feelings there?
296
00:12:20,050 --> 00:12:22,050
Dude, I said I was sorry, okay?
297
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,590
You guys! You guys!
298
00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:26,620
Something really weird
is going on!
299
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,490
I keep having the same dream
that I'm a fat little white boy.
300
00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:32,230
You ain't white,
but you definitely fat.
301
00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:33,800
This is serious, Kyle!
302
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,040
It's more than a dream,
it's becoming like real now!
303
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,540
I keep seeing all of you!
304
00:12:38,740 --> 00:12:40,610
Being replaced by
little white motherfuckers!
305
00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:43,280
Well, maybe you should try
not being so racist, Cartman.
306
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,510
You can't be racist
towards white people, Stan!
307
00:12:45,710 --> 00:12:48,750
They all honky-ass bitches!
You know what this is?
308
00:12:48,950 --> 00:12:51,800
I think this is some
alternate universe shit.
309
00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,620
Yeah, right, you just
acting crazy 'cause you wanna
310
00:12:54,820 --> 00:12:57,420
- get sent home from school.
- No, I'm not, Kyle!
311
00:12:57,620 --> 00:12:59,220
Yeah, bitch, you just
wanna get sent home
312
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,430
so you can play Baldur's Gate 3.
313
00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:04,410
(yelling)
314
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:07,550
(yelling)
315
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,640
What the fuck?
316
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,540
Oh, my God, it's all real!
317
00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:16,610
Whatever you're doing,
Cartman, we ain't buyin' it.
318
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:19,440
Stay away from me! You aren't
my friends! Do you understand?
319
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,910
Is that supposed to be Cartman?
320
00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:23,620
It ain't Cartman
but it's still fat.
321
00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:25,480
Just more like
little round and fat.
322
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,520
Yeah, like Tammy Mullins'
knockers.
323
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:28,820
Kenny! Brah.
324
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:30,990
Chill with the knockers. Man!
325
00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:33,330
No...
326
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:35,740
No...!
327
00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:39,360
(school bell rings)
328
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,500
Okay, so Clyde says he
can probably try to fart
329
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,270
on Tammy Mullins again
during fourth period.
330
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:45,200
But this time Kenny
has to keep his mouth shut.
331
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,410
It's fine!
I won't say anything, fine!
332
00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:49,570
He's gonna say something,
he's totally in love with her.
333
00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:52,640
- No, I'm not!
- You guys! You guys!
334
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,810
Holy shit, you guys,
I fuckin' told you!
335
00:13:55,010 --> 00:13:57,600
I fuckin' told you this
was happening, didn't I?
336
00:13:58,570 --> 00:13:59,650
Told us what was happening?
337
00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:01,350
I told you I was having
all these dreams
338
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,890
that I was a fat
little white boy
339
00:14:03,090 --> 00:14:04,860
and you guys were all
white boys too and now look!
340
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,640
Y'all actually turned into 'em!
341
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,690
- Do we know you?
- I'm Cartman.
342
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:12,600
And you're Kyle and you're Stan
and you're fucking Kenny.
343
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,430
Only it's a parallel,
alternated universe
344
00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:15,870
and y'all have been replaced.
345
00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:18,000
Uh, okay, cool lady.
346
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,770
We gotta get to class.
347
00:14:19,970 --> 00:14:21,410
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
348
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,140
You guys are gonna
listen to me this time!
349
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,110
I need help!
350
00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:27,050
Cartman's just messing with us.
351
00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:28,280
Fuck you, Kyle!
352
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:29,810
This is serious,
you fuckin' butt-fucker!
353
00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:32,680
Yeah, listen, lady,
we really gotta get going.
354
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,890
Will you guys fucking
listen to me?! I'm Cartman!
355
00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:38,920
You're not Cartman and
multiple universes are stupid.
356
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,480
Oh, goddamn it!
357
00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,660
Tom, I'm still here
live at the scene.
358
00:14:45,860 --> 00:14:48,370
Dozens of white-collar workers
are gathered hoping
359
00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:51,170
to get the attention of
just one handyman.
360
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:53,740
It's a scene
of desperation and a reminder
361
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,660
of where our
country's economy is headed.
362
00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:02,660
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
- (all clamoring)
363
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,450
Hey, hey! Excuse me,
you're a handyman, right?
364
00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:08,990
Can I get you to come look
at my oven door?
365
00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:10,620
I can trade you services.
366
00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:14,030
I have geology skills.
Could you come fix my door
367
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,760
and I'll give you some geology?
368
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,860
Hey, why don't you guys
get outta here?
369
00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:22,220
You're making the Home Depot
look all shitty.
370
00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:26,040
Fuckin' rich assholes.
371
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,740
- (all grumbling)
- Ugh, sucks.
372
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:28,910
Aw, man.
373
00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:31,340
Boy, I wish
I knew how to fix stuff.
374
00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:32,540
I'd be rich, too.
375
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:34,810
I could know how to fix stuff!
376
00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:36,810
The problem is
when I could have been learning
377
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,090
how to fix stuff, I went
to fucking college instead!
378
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:41,520
Hey, yeah, he's right.
379
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,220
We all went to college,
and where did it get us?
380
00:15:44,420 --> 00:15:46,620
Yeah, I'm still paying off
my college loans.
381
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,630
Yeah, so am I! Now I don't
know how to do anything
382
00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:52,400
'cause I got suckered into going
to college and learning stupid
383
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,470
geology that anyone can know
'cause of goddamn AI!
384
00:15:55,670 --> 00:15:56,770
Yeah, fuck college!
385
00:15:56,970 --> 00:15:58,440
Let's go
get our fucking money back!
386
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,740
- OTHERS: Yeah!
- Yeah! Fuck college!
387
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:02,760
- Come on, let's go!
- (all clamoring)
388
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,310
(clamoring continues)
389
00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:08,750
- Stupid college!
- You wasted our time!
390
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:11,980
- Fuck you, college!
- Piece of shit college!
391
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,490
Hey-hey, college!
392
00:16:13,690 --> 00:16:15,920
You know what you are?!
You're a scam!
393
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,190
College is a scam!
394
00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:19,190
- (cheering)
- OTHERS: Yeah!
395
00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:20,460
Yeah, that's right!
396
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:21,590
Yeah, hey, college!
397
00:16:21,790 --> 00:16:23,230
Here's my student loan bill.
398
00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:25,160
That I'm still paying off!
399
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,680
Well, guess what,
I'm not paying it!
400
00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:30,500
- Yeah!
- We don't owe you nothing!
401
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,370
- (all clamoring)
- RANDY: Guess what, college?!
402
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:35,840
We don't owe you money,
you owe us money!
403
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,140
OTHERS:
Yeah!
404
00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:40,260
Yeah, that's right!
405
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,080
You think you can
just sit there and not even
406
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,750
respond to us, college?
Okay!
407
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:48,490
You aren't going to destroy
any more lives!
408
00:16:48,690 --> 00:16:50,220
All right, bring in
the catapult.
409
00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:51,860
Bring in the catapult!
410
00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:52,920
OTHERS:
Yeah!
411
00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:54,290
Yeah, that's right!
412
00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:56,710
(grunting)
413
00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:02,850
- What's that?
- That's the catapult.
414
00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:05,740
Well, but it's still in the box.
415
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:08,240
Yeah, somebody's
gotta put it together.
416
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,110
Well, how are we gonna...
417
00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:11,510
Hang on, college!
418
00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:12,810
How're we gonna
break the college if
419
00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:14,450
the catapult is still
in the box?
420
00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:16,080
It's okay,
we called the handyman.
421
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,330
He's gonna build it for us.
422
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:26,990
Hello, gentlemen, what
seems to be the problem?
423
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:28,660
Oh! Oh!
424
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:30,460
You said
you couldn't work today.
425
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:32,400
You're supposed
to fix my oven door!
426
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,170
I've got a lot of jobs there,
buddy.
427
00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:35,570
This one paid the most today.
428
00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:38,100
We all pooled together
and offered him $20,000.
429
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,770
$20,000?
430
00:17:39,970 --> 00:17:41,440
What the fuck
are you guys doing?!
431
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,990
You're gonna make him
totally impossible now!
432
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,240
(phone beeps)
433
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,650
All right, send Broflovski,
Marsh and McKormick
434
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,830
into my office, please.
435
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,120
Aw, what the hell?
436
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,650
Sit down, boys.
One of our students here
437
00:17:54,850 --> 00:17:56,150
says you've been
treating them unfairly.
438
00:17:56,350 --> 00:17:59,160
- Treating who unfairly?
- We didn't do anything!
439
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,790
We're just minding
our own business
440
00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:02,610
and she keeps saying
she's Eric Cartman!
441
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,750
Okay. And what's
wrong with that?
442
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,800
What's wrong is it
doesn't make any sense.
443
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,400
Okay, I see.
444
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,070
There's a diverse female
where Cartman used to be
445
00:18:13,270 --> 00:18:14,370
and you don't like that.
446
00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:16,470
It's not that we
don't like it, it's...
447
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:17,780
don't you think that's weird?
448
00:18:17,980 --> 00:18:19,580
I don't see
a problem with it at all.
449
00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,380
And if you boys don't think
Eric can be a Black woman,
450
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,600
then maybe the problem is you.
451
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:25,750
What?
452
00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:27,020
You think it's perfectly normal
453
00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:28,790
that Cartman
is suddenly a Black woman?
454
00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:30,220
You probably don't like
that Indiana Jones got replaced
455
00:18:30,420 --> 00:18:31,860
by a female either, huh?
456
00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:34,030
You probably have a problem
with Black Spider-Man, too.
457
00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:35,730
No! Miles Morales is sweet.
458
00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:37,030
That's a whole constructed thing
459
00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:38,630
with its own character
and narrative!
460
00:18:38,830 --> 00:18:41,730
This is just taking Cartman,
same old Cartman,
461
00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:43,640
and putting a Black woman in it.
462
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,770
Well, you know what I think
about that, Kyle?
463
00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:47,040
Hold on. Hold on.
464
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,510
- (farts)
- (laughs)
465
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,140
That's what I think
about that, Kyle! (laughs)
466
00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:51,480
Goddamn it, Cartman!
467
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,180
Dude, what the fuck
is going on?!
468
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:54,910
I'll tell you what's going on.
469
00:18:55,110 --> 00:18:56,780
You boys feel that your white
culture is being threatened
470
00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:58,580
and so you're
lashing out with racism.
471
00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:00,450
And if you
say anything more about
472
00:19:00,650 --> 00:19:02,150
a Black woman Cartman
not making any sense,
473
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,160
then you can all just have
three weeks' detention!
474
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,590
Now get out of my office!
475
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:07,360
- Goddamn it!
- (laughs)
476
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,230
Fuck you, Kyle.
You have to help me!
477
00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:11,300
How's that fart feeling
on your face right now?
478
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,660
KYLE:
Shut up!
479
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,850
CARTMAN: Na-na-na-na-na.
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
480
00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:21,840
(overlapping chatter)
481
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,080
(Cartman moaning)
482
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,880
And we both told Clyde,
"Okay, you can try to fart
483
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,850
on Tammy Mullins later.
Kenny won't tell her."
484
00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:32,680
And guess what? This little
motherfucker does it again!
485
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,120
I'm sorry.
She hypnotized me.
486
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,820
Everyone's trying
to enjoy themselves, dude.
487
00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:38,860
Why do you keep fucking it up?
488
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:40,660
Hey, who's the fat
little white boy?
489
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:42,760
Who knows?
White heterosexual males
490
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,460
think they're welcome anywhere.
491
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:47,400
- (moaning)
- (bell chimes)
492
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,070
Okay, children,
let's take our seats.
493
00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:53,140
Today we're going to
talk more about female exclusion
494
00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:54,710
in the male patriarchy.
495
00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:56,510
(moaning)
496
00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:59,610
Uh, Butters,
who is that sitting next to you?
497
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:00,850
Oh, I don't know, ma'am.
498
00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:03,050
I think it's
supposed to be Eric.
499
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:04,650
I am Eric!
500
00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:06,880
All Cartman cares about
is playing Baldur's Gate 3.
501
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,090
So the bitch did a switcheroo
with Spanky here.
502
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:10,720
That is not what's going on!
503
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,990
And I am not going to sit here
and be insulted anymore!
504
00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:14,730
I am a respected citizen
in my universe
505
00:20:14,930 --> 00:20:17,060
and I demand to speak to
someone with authority!
506
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:20,720
- (radio static)
- Is there a problem here?
507
00:20:21,980 --> 00:20:24,820
No!
508
00:20:26,290 --> 00:20:28,490
(tool whirring)
509
00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:31,010
Eight years.
510
00:20:31,210 --> 00:20:34,010
Eight years I spent
wasting time at stupid college
511
00:20:34,210 --> 00:20:36,080
when I could have been
learning how to do stuff.
512
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,480
All the time we spent
memorizing, studying-- for what?
513
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,920
Anyone gets any info they want
with the touch of a button now.
514
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,520
All right,
I think she's ready to go.
515
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,630
- It's ready! It's ready!
- (all clamoring)
516
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:50,560
Okay, okay, aim it
at the center of the school.
517
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,060
How do we fire it?
518
00:20:52,260 --> 00:20:54,170
There's a big red button here.
Should I press it?
519
00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:56,050
Yeah, yeah, let 'er rip!
520
00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:04,810
- Yeah! Yeah!
- (all cheering)
521
00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:07,380
Yeah, take that, college!
522
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:09,110
Let's see them ignore that!
523
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,480
I can't wait
to see what they do now.
524
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,590
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
525
00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:15,200
Hey-hey, wait, what's that?
526
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:23,240
Hey! Hey, no,
you son of a bitch!
527
00:21:24,710 --> 00:21:27,130
GERALD:
He's just gonna fix the glass!
528
00:21:27,330 --> 00:21:28,600
Ugh!
529
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:29,930
You fucking give these
billionaires your money
530
00:21:30,130 --> 00:21:31,470
and then another billionaire
just comes
531
00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:33,240
and profits off of that.
532
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,690
Society is so fucked up!
533
00:21:42,530 --> 00:21:44,780
Something is
wrong with the universe.
534
00:21:44,980 --> 00:21:46,580
Our stocks are down
and every Disney movie
535
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,250
this year has failed!
536
00:21:48,450 --> 00:21:49,890
We don't understand it, sir.
537
00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:52,160
We keep making
the same movie over and over
538
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:55,290
and pandering to everyone
but suddenly it's not working.
539
00:21:55,490 --> 00:21:57,730
Then we've got to pander harder!
540
00:21:57,930 --> 00:22:00,100
Look, I don't want
to have to say it, but...
541
00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:03,150
I think the problem is
Kathleen Kennedy.
542
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:07,310
Kathleen Kennedy has
made studios a lot of money.
543
00:22:07,510 --> 00:22:10,910
Yes, before. But you have
to admit something's changed.
544
00:22:11,110 --> 00:22:13,480
For weeks now she's been
completely different.
545
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,980
- It's true.
- What if...
546
00:22:16,180 --> 00:22:18,970
this is a different
Kathleen Kennedy?
547
00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:21,750
What are you saying, Rick?
548
00:22:21,950 --> 00:22:23,760
I'm just saying
isn't it possible
549
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,420
that we here
at Disney pandered so much...
550
00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:29,980
that we've opened a doorway
to the panderverse.
551
00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:32,430
The panderverse
is just a theory!
552
00:22:32,630 --> 00:22:35,530
And yet we do have
the panderstone downstairs.
553
00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:38,970
It's possible that someone
has tampered with it somehow.
554
00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:40,870
Well, she's on her way in
right now.
555
00:22:41,070 --> 00:22:43,040
If you wanna tell
Kathleen Kennedy you think
556
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,710
she's from
an alternate universe,
557
00:22:44,910 --> 00:22:47,750
because we misused
the panderstone, go right ahead!
558
00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:51,030
(doors creak open)
559
00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:58,670
Is there a problem, people?
560
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:01,930
No problem at all, Mrs. Kennedy.
561
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,860
We were just discussing ideas
562
00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:05,730
of what to do with
the new Prince Eric movie.
563
00:23:05,930 --> 00:23:07,900
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
564
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:12,400
Uh, yes, Mrs. Kennedy,
uh, some of the execs are just
565
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,110
- expressing that maybe--
- Well, that maybe we should go
566
00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:17,580
a different route than we did
with Indiana Jones.
567
00:23:17,780 --> 00:23:18,940
Fuck Indiana Jones!
568
00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:21,200
Put a chick in it
and make her lame and gay!
569
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,250
Sure. Yeah.
570
00:23:24,450 --> 00:23:27,200
Let's try that... again.
571
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:30,890
* *
572
00:23:31,090 --> 00:23:33,270
(indistinct chatter)
573
00:23:34,310 --> 00:23:36,860
And then... and then there was,
like, this ball
574
00:23:37,060 --> 00:23:38,430
and then Eric floated up
575
00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:40,060
into this portal
and disappeared!
576
00:23:40,260 --> 00:23:41,700
I don't care
what you saw, Butters,
577
00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:42,930
there's gotta be
a better explanation
578
00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:44,840
than just the stupid multiverse.
579
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,540
Some multiverse stuff is cool.
580
00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:48,210
Yeah, it can be cool for,
like, one movie.
581
00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:49,940
Now it's just this
cheap device that people use
582
00:23:50,140 --> 00:23:51,980
to breathe life
into tired franchises.
583
00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:54,200
What are you guys talking about?
584
00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:59,120
Uh, we were just talking about
how amazing this all is.
585
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:00,750
Okay, I've been trying to think
586
00:24:00,950 --> 00:24:02,190
about what we should do,
you guys.
587
00:24:02,390 --> 00:24:03,890
I think I know
how to make everything right,
588
00:24:04,090 --> 00:24:05,620
but we're gonna need
a really powerful computer.
589
00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:07,060
Are you gonna eat
your brownie, Kenny?
590
00:24:07,260 --> 00:24:08,590
Yeah, I'm gonna eat my brownie!
591
00:24:08,790 --> 00:24:10,700
Okay, fine, so we'll take you
to the computer lab.
592
00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:11,960
No, no, no, no, for this,
593
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,500
we gotta get
a really powerful system.
594
00:24:13,700 --> 00:24:16,070
Is Kyle's mom still a big
fat bitch in this universe?
595
00:24:16,270 --> 00:24:18,170
What? My mom's not a bitch.
596
00:24:18,370 --> 00:24:20,400
Well, I mean,
she is kind of bitchy.
597
00:24:20,610 --> 00:24:21,940
She's a big dumb bitch, huh?
598
00:24:22,140 --> 00:24:24,040
What does calling my mom a bitch
have to do with anything?
599
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,340
Because we could fake
a letter from Kyle's mom
600
00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:28,410
giving Kyle permission
to use her credit card number
601
00:24:28,610 --> 00:24:30,880
to buy all the stuff
we need at Best Buy.
602
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,850
I mean, PC Principal
did say we have to help him.
603
00:24:34,050 --> 00:24:36,020
Her. Them. It.
604
00:24:36,220 --> 00:24:37,960
That's the dumbest idea ever!
605
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,260
I don't even know what
my mom's credit number is!
606
00:24:40,460 --> 00:24:41,690
8-7-1-5...
607
00:24:41,890 --> 00:24:42,960
3-2-7...
608
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:43,760
4-9-2...
609
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,260
2-1-0-0-7.
610
00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:46,850
I use it all the time.
611
00:24:50,050 --> 00:24:53,790
- (phones ringing)
- (keyboards clacking)
612
00:24:56,790 --> 00:24:58,960
All right. Full name?
613
00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:02,080
What is your name, sir?
614
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,120
I told them already
my name is Eric Cartman.
615
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,320
We know Eric Cartman, okay?
616
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,120
Eric Cartman is in here
all the time getting in trouble.
617
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,990
That's because I'm
from a different universe!
618
00:25:12,190 --> 00:25:13,460
How many times do I have
to tell you people?
619
00:25:13,660 --> 00:25:15,060
The Disney company tried to
use their platform
620
00:25:15,260 --> 00:25:17,760
to bring about social change
and I got fucked.
621
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,800
Hey, Chief. Chief,
you gotta hear this one.
622
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,630
What is it, Johnston?
623
00:25:22,830 --> 00:25:24,070
Aw, God.
624
00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:26,040
This little white boy
claims he's actually
625
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,510
from a different universe.
626
00:25:27,710 --> 00:25:28,940
Is that so?
627
00:25:29,140 --> 00:25:30,310
All right, honkey,
what kind of narcotics
628
00:25:30,510 --> 00:25:33,110
are you on?
Did you do a cavity search?
629
00:25:33,310 --> 00:25:34,780
Have you even said what
you've arrested me for?
630
00:25:34,980 --> 00:25:37,210
I come from a place where this
is extremely inappropriate.
631
00:25:37,410 --> 00:25:39,750
- OFFICER: Chief! Hey, Chief!
- Yeah?
632
00:25:39,950 --> 00:25:41,850
There's some
crazy white lady downstairs
633
00:25:42,050 --> 00:25:43,960
freakin' out and saying
she needs to talk to you.
634
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,290
More honkies?
635
00:25:45,490 --> 00:25:47,020
What is this,
a Taylor Swift concert?
636
00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:48,960
Tell the nice lady
I'll see her after I'm done
637
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,800
with "Eric Cartman" here.
638
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,260
Well, that's just it, Chief.
639
00:25:52,460 --> 00:25:54,670
She's sayin' she's
looking for an Eric Cartman.
640
00:25:54,870 --> 00:25:56,630
Says her name
is Kathleen Kennedy.
641
00:25:56,830 --> 00:25:59,600
Kathleen Kennedy?! No!
642
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,470
She's gonna try to change me,
too! I'm the only one left!
643
00:26:01,670 --> 00:26:04,830
- Hey, get back here!
- She's gonna get me!
644
00:26:07,090 --> 00:26:09,650
- (clamoring)
- Tom, I'm standing outside
645
00:26:09,850 --> 00:26:12,980
the South Park Country Club
where protestors have gathered
646
00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:15,450
to point out
the unfairness in our economy.
647
00:26:15,650 --> 00:26:18,490
The White House says they're
doing all they can but it's been
648
00:26:18,690 --> 00:26:22,260
several days now and my bathroom
tile still is not installed.
649
00:26:22,460 --> 00:26:25,530
Yeah, that's right. You see,
the whole system is rigged.
650
00:26:25,730 --> 00:26:28,300
You've got people like us
who just need our stuff fixed,
651
00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:30,500
and meanwhile
there's these billionaires
652
00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:31,800
that have all the control!
653
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,200
Did you know that if just
654
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,810
one of these billionaires
spread their wealth,
655
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,270
- (phone ringing)
- it would mean thousands
to every per--
656
00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:38,710
it would mean thousands
to every--
657
00:26:38,910 --> 00:26:40,140
Sorry, hang on, just a second.
658
00:26:40,340 --> 00:26:41,650
Yeah?
659
00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,920
Hey, Ran, the oven door still
isn't shutting right.
660
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:45,880
Yeah, I'm working on it, Sharon!
661
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,150
I'm actually
working on it right now!
662
00:26:48,350 --> 00:26:49,990
Hey, one of them's coming out!
663
00:26:50,190 --> 00:26:51,390
(all clamoring)
664
00:26:51,590 --> 00:26:53,190
Please, just glance
at my water pressure!
665
00:26:53,390 --> 00:26:55,730
Mr. Fix It, can you please
tell us why you haven't been
666
00:26:55,930 --> 00:26:57,360
responding to people's calls?
667
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,260
Well, I've just been busy
with my various assets.
668
00:27:00,460 --> 00:27:02,000
You see, I've been trying
to acquire
669
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,840
some social media platforms.
I just bought Instagram.
670
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,170
What? The country needs
stuff fixed.
671
00:27:08,370 --> 00:27:11,010
Why the fuck are you out
buying Instagram?!
672
00:27:11,210 --> 00:27:12,530
(tires screech)
673
00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:16,950
Hey, did you just outbid me
to acquire Instagram?
674
00:27:17,150 --> 00:27:18,350
Yeah, I outbid you.
675
00:27:18,550 --> 00:27:21,050
I own Instagram now
and you don't!
676
00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:22,790
Oh, yeah?
Well, I just acquired
677
00:27:22,990 --> 00:27:24,890
the entire
Bloomberg media company!
678
00:27:25,090 --> 00:27:26,520
Oh, yeah?
Well, I can kick your ass.
679
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,190
You wanna fight me MMA?
680
00:27:28,390 --> 00:27:30,290
Yeah, I'll fight you MMA,
let's do it.
681
00:27:30,490 --> 00:27:32,100
What the hell
are they doing now?
682
00:27:32,300 --> 00:27:33,670
I'm just gonna make a company
683
00:27:33,870 --> 00:27:35,270
and I'm gonna fly to space!
684
00:27:35,470 --> 00:27:37,530
I bet I can get to space
before you do!
685
00:27:37,740 --> 00:27:41,120
Gal! Fuck these guys!
686
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,180
She has all the right things
in her purse.
687
00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:50,150
Her driver's license
says Kathleen Kennedy,
688
00:27:50,350 --> 00:27:52,250
she has Kathleen Kennedy
credit cards.
689
00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:54,950
This is definitely all the same
makeup Mrs. Kennedy uses.
690
00:27:55,150 --> 00:27:58,090
I mean, according to this,
she really is Kathleen Kennedy.
691
00:27:58,290 --> 00:28:00,830
Or Kathleen Kennedy
from another universe.
692
00:28:01,030 --> 00:28:02,590
That's enough! Please!
693
00:28:02,790 --> 00:28:04,930
We're not going to
waste our time chasing
694
00:28:05,130 --> 00:28:06,700
after wild scientific theories!
695
00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:07,930
Well, we have to do something.
696
00:28:08,130 --> 00:28:10,070
Kathleen Kennedy is down
on set right now
697
00:28:10,270 --> 00:28:11,970
ruining the new Bambi movie!
698
00:28:12,170 --> 00:28:14,410
Put a diverse woman in it,
make it lame!
699
00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:18,010
But Mrs. Kennedy,
Bam-Bambi's a baby deer.
700
00:28:18,210 --> 00:28:21,080
Fuck baby deer!
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
701
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,350
You guys, you better
come take a look at this.
702
00:28:23,550 --> 00:28:26,450
I don't think we are dealing
with our Kathleen Kennedy.
703
00:28:26,650 --> 00:28:28,720
I took images of Mrs. Kennedy
and put them
704
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,120
against images of her
from a few months ago.
705
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,760
With AI we could detect
the smallest irregularities.
706
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,580
Take a look.
707
00:28:43,350 --> 00:28:46,600
All right. What do we know
about the panderverse?
708
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,010
I'm afraid we know...
709
00:28:48,210 --> 00:28:49,440
frighteningly little.
710
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,210
The only thing we know for sure
711
00:28:52,410 --> 00:28:54,280
is that if a portal
were somehow opened
712
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:55,650
with the panderstone,
713
00:28:55,850 --> 00:28:58,420
then both universes
eventually will collide,
714
00:28:58,620 --> 00:29:02,220
leading to a level of pandering
we can't even fathom.
715
00:29:02,420 --> 00:29:04,120
That we know for sure. Yes.
716
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,320
IGER:
Then we have to get everyone
717
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,260
back to the right universe.
718
00:29:07,460 --> 00:29:11,050
Before it's complete
pandermonium.
719
00:29:22,860 --> 00:29:25,510
Okay, Kenny,
switch on the power supply.
720
00:29:25,710 --> 00:29:28,110
Stan, make sure
we've got ethernet!
721
00:29:28,310 --> 00:29:29,650
- All good.
- All right,
722
00:29:29,850 --> 00:29:30,950
let's just hope this works.
723
00:29:31,150 --> 00:29:33,050
Oh, man, what the hell?
724
00:29:33,250 --> 00:29:35,520
Dude, Kyle, what is up
with your Internet speed?
725
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,760
Go tell your parents to
upgrade your Internet speed.
726
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,020
No!
727
00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:40,490
Kyle, I know
you're afraid of your mom
728
00:29:40,690 --> 00:29:42,760
'cause she's a fat bitch,
but we have to do this.
729
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,260
Stop calling my mom a bitch!
730
00:29:44,460 --> 00:29:46,360
- (knocking)
- Kyle!
731
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,230
I just got an alert
that someone used
732
00:29:48,430 --> 00:29:50,100
my credit card at Best Buy?!
733
00:29:50,300 --> 00:29:53,370
Oh, hello, Mrs. Broflovski.
734
00:29:53,570 --> 00:29:56,340
My goodness,
you're looking nice today.
735
00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:57,940
What?
736
00:29:58,140 --> 00:29:59,840
You know, credit card fraud
737
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,450
is very serious,
Mrs. Broflovski.
738
00:30:01,650 --> 00:30:03,380
You should call your
Internet company right away
739
00:30:03,580 --> 00:30:06,050
and up your speed
and make sure you're protected.
740
00:30:06,250 --> 00:30:09,090
Really? Kyle, who is this?
741
00:30:09,290 --> 00:30:11,060
Oh, haven't you heard, Mom?
742
00:30:11,260 --> 00:30:12,920
We're in a multiverse
and this is
743
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,510
supposed to be Eric Cartman.
744
00:30:15,310 --> 00:30:16,690
Oh, okay, I'm fine with that.
745
00:30:16,890 --> 00:30:19,030
I better go call
the Internet company.
746
00:30:19,230 --> 00:30:20,430
What do you mean
you're fine with that?
747
00:30:20,630 --> 00:30:23,100
I think all this stuff
is great, Kyle.
748
00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:25,200
And what "all stuff"
is that, exactly?
749
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,070
Ha! It worked.
750
00:30:27,270 --> 00:30:28,970
She's gonna call
the Internet company.
751
00:30:29,170 --> 00:30:31,540
Your mom is such
a dumb bitch, Kyle!
752
00:30:31,740 --> 00:30:32,980
Shut up, Cartman!
753
00:30:33,180 --> 00:30:36,650
* Loo, loo, loo,
I got some apples *
754
00:30:36,850 --> 00:30:40,550
* Loo, loo, loo,
you got some, too *
755
00:30:40,750 --> 00:30:43,720
* Loo, loo, loo, let's
make some applesauce... *
756
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,220
- Butters.
- (yells)
757
00:30:45,420 --> 00:30:46,660
Butters! Butters, listen to me.
758
00:30:46,860 --> 00:30:49,260
- It's me, Eric.
- You-You-You're not Eric!
759
00:30:49,460 --> 00:30:50,660
Yes, I am Eric Cartman, Butters.
760
00:30:50,860 --> 00:30:52,230
Kathleen Kennedy
is trying to get me.
761
00:30:52,430 --> 00:30:53,900
She won't stop until her
master plan is complete.
762
00:30:54,100 --> 00:30:56,930
I'm not supposed to have
anyone in my room, I'm grounded!
763
00:30:57,130 --> 00:30:59,340
Butters, Disney is going to
get me. They already got you!
764
00:30:59,540 --> 00:31:00,870
(gasps) They did?!
765
00:31:01,070 --> 00:31:02,370
We are in this together,
Butters.
766
00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:03,840
You have to
keep me safe until I can
767
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,840
- figure out how we're gonna--
- (knocking)
768
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,980
She's here!
Butters, don't let her get me.
769
00:31:09,180 --> 00:31:11,650
- (knocking)
- VOICE: Butters?!
770
00:31:11,850 --> 00:31:15,220
Butters! Why didn't you
answer this door?
771
00:31:15,420 --> 00:31:16,890
Oh. Hey, Dad.
772
00:31:17,090 --> 00:31:19,790
What are you doing up here?
And why do you look so scared?
773
00:31:19,990 --> 00:31:23,860
Oh, I'm not scared, I'm just,
uh, I'm just having fun.
774
00:31:24,060 --> 00:31:25,260
Well, no having fun.
775
00:31:25,460 --> 00:31:28,000
You are grounded.
Start being more miserable.
776
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,300
- Dad?
- Yes, Butters?
777
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:33,140
Uh, could you check
under my bed and make sure
778
00:31:33,340 --> 00:31:34,740
Kathleen Kennedy isn't there?
779
00:31:34,940 --> 00:31:37,270
Butters, what have I told you
about being more mature?
780
00:31:37,470 --> 00:31:39,410
I can assure you
Kathleen Kennedy
781
00:31:39,610 --> 00:31:41,630
is not under your bed!
782
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,520
(muffled groaning)
783
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:46,920
(both screaming)
784
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,020
That's fucking Kathleen Kennedy!
785
00:31:48,220 --> 00:31:49,020
Right fucking there!
786
00:31:49,220 --> 00:31:50,440
(both screaming)
787
00:31:51,340 --> 00:31:53,120
You! Come here!
788
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:54,990
No, no, no, no, no!
789
00:31:55,190 --> 00:31:57,390
(grunting)
790
00:31:57,590 --> 00:32:00,450
No, no! No, no, no!
791
00:32:09,820 --> 00:32:11,490
(sputters)
792
00:32:13,260 --> 00:32:14,550
Well, Shelley,
793
00:32:14,750 --> 00:32:16,680
we need to talk
about your future.
794
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,850
You see, there's very few
people at the top these days.
795
00:32:20,050 --> 00:32:22,490
AI can do everything
better than we can,
796
00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:25,470
except for stuff
that requires arms.
797
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,230
I don't want you to
end up a deadbeat loser
798
00:32:29,430 --> 00:32:30,930
who goes to college, Shelley.
799
00:32:31,130 --> 00:32:32,660
You need to stay out of school,
800
00:32:32,860 --> 00:32:35,570
and instead go out and be
taught real skills that will
801
00:32:35,770 --> 00:32:38,800
still be profitable
in this post-AI universe.
802
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,910
So what you do is you take
out your phone and you call
803
00:32:43,110 --> 00:32:46,440
the handyman, and see if
those rich people will have
804
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,700
any internships or training
programs available for you.
805
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:56,850
(panel chirps)
806
00:32:57,050 --> 00:32:59,390
Handyman service,
how can I help you?
807
00:32:59,590 --> 00:33:01,090
RANDY:
Yeah, hi, it's Randy Marsh.
808
00:33:01,290 --> 00:33:03,690
I was wondering if you
might have any internships
809
00:33:03,890 --> 00:33:05,100
available for my daughter--
810
00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:06,530
Hey! What in tarnation?!
811
00:33:06,730 --> 00:33:09,300
I told you I'd beat you,
you son' bitch!
812
00:33:09,500 --> 00:33:12,500
You ain't beatin' me!
Turn up them thrusters!
813
00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:14,240
My galactic cruiser's
bigger than yours!
814
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:15,570
H-Hello?
815
00:33:15,770 --> 00:33:16,770
Get out my way,
you little pecker!
816
00:33:16,970 --> 00:33:18,210
Hello? Never mind.
817
00:33:18,410 --> 00:33:21,430
The rich people are all just
fucking around in space.
818
00:33:22,830 --> 00:33:24,670
(rumbling)
819
00:33:25,570 --> 00:33:27,020
What the hell was that?
820
00:33:27,220 --> 00:33:30,120
I'm getting significantly strong
readings from the panderstone.
821
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:31,990
Mr. Iger.
We may have a solution.
822
00:33:32,190 --> 00:33:34,860
If this Kathleen Kennedy here
is from somewhere else, then
823
00:33:35,060 --> 00:33:37,890
there has to be a match for her
somewhere in our universe.
824
00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:39,500
So what we can do
825
00:33:39,700 --> 00:33:42,630
is use an AI program that
can take every image ever put
826
00:33:42,830 --> 00:33:45,820
on the Internet to try
and find a match to our image.
827
00:33:46,620 --> 00:33:48,440
ROBOTIC VOICE:
Different, different, different,
828
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,370
different, different,
different, different,
829
00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:52,980
different,
different, different...
830
00:33:53,180 --> 00:33:54,650
Same.
831
00:33:54,850 --> 00:33:56,810
IGER:
Eric Cartman.
832
00:33:57,010 --> 00:33:58,320
South Park Elementary.
833
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,320
Evans, Mallory, come with me.
834
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,650
The rest of you,
don't let Kathleen Kennedy
835
00:34:02,850 --> 00:34:04,020
find out what we're up to.
836
00:34:04,220 --> 00:34:06,620
It's okay, we're keeping
Mrs. Kennedy distracted.
837
00:34:06,820 --> 00:34:09,440
We've sent her away
to have lunch at Spago.
838
00:34:10,310 --> 00:34:12,450
(classical music playing)
839
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,130
There you are, Mrs. Kennedy,
840
00:34:15,330 --> 00:34:16,830
the linguini and clam sauce.
841
00:34:17,030 --> 00:34:18,340
Uh, excuse me?
842
00:34:18,540 --> 00:34:20,070
I believe I asked you
to put a chick in this
843
00:34:20,270 --> 00:34:21,870
- and make her gay?
- Uh...
844
00:34:22,070 --> 00:34:24,410
Yes, the chef was a little
confused what you meant by that.
845
00:34:24,610 --> 00:34:27,310
It means put a chick
in the linguini
846
00:34:27,510 --> 00:34:29,860
and make her fucking gay!
847
00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:32,900
And I want it lame!
848
00:34:38,570 --> 00:34:39,790
(screaming)
849
00:34:39,990 --> 00:34:43,130
She's gonna get me!
She's gonna get me!
850
00:34:43,330 --> 00:34:44,610
(horn blaring)
851
00:34:46,510 --> 00:34:48,080
(screams)
852
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,490
No, no, no, no, no!
853
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,410
Hey, who's that, Ned?
854
00:34:56,610 --> 00:34:58,080
I'm not sure.
855
00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:59,860
No!
856
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,720
There he is!
Get him!
857
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,570
(screams)
858
00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:15,540
No. Oh, my God, please, no!
859
00:35:17,340 --> 00:35:19,260
No...!
860
00:35:19,460 --> 00:35:20,810
Which way did they go?
861
00:35:21,950 --> 00:35:22,670
(gasps)
862
00:35:22,870 --> 00:35:25,240
We have to work together.
863
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:27,870
Fuck you, Kathleen Kennedy!
Stay away, you fuckin' bitch!
864
00:35:28,070 --> 00:35:31,460
I'm in the same situation
you are, Eric!
865
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,250
I know you're in
the wrong universe.
866
00:35:36,450 --> 00:35:38,630
So am I.
867
00:35:45,570 --> 00:35:49,030
Well, there's no
other way to put it.
868
00:35:49,230 --> 00:35:50,710
They have us over a barrel.
869
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:55,600
We give these billionaires
all our money, rely on them,
870
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,290
and so they can do
whatever they want.
871
00:35:59,050 --> 00:36:02,740
Let's just face it, we're
never gonna get our stuff fixed.
872
00:36:02,940 --> 00:36:04,410
Yeah.
873
00:36:04,610 --> 00:36:08,810
And I guess it's
nobody's fault but our own.
874
00:36:09,010 --> 00:36:10,410
Excuse me?
875
00:36:10,610 --> 00:36:11,750
My name is Bob Iger
876
00:36:11,950 --> 00:36:13,350
from the Disney
entertainment company.
877
00:36:13,550 --> 00:36:15,750
We're looking
for an Eric Cartman.
878
00:36:15,950 --> 00:36:18,690
Our universe
has been manipulated with.
879
00:36:18,890 --> 00:36:21,110
Have you all
noticed anything strange?
880
00:36:23,710 --> 00:36:26,960
Yes. Yes, the world
is completely upside down!
881
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,400
Nothing makes sense!
882
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,100
It's because
there's some kind of
883
00:36:30,300 --> 00:36:31,640
disruption in the panderverse.
884
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,370
We believe Kathleen Kennedy
has opened a portal.
885
00:36:34,570 --> 00:36:36,970
This is all
Kathleen Kennedy's fault?
886
00:36:37,170 --> 00:36:39,440
This is all Kathleen Kennedy's
fault!
887
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:40,680
Who's Kathleen Kennedy?
888
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,010
One of the top executives
at Disney.
889
00:36:43,210 --> 00:36:44,620
It's not us, you guys.
890
00:36:44,820 --> 00:36:46,780
I knew there was an explanation!
891
00:36:46,980 --> 00:36:48,720
We didn't waste our time
at college!
892
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,090
We didn't get lazy
from technology!
893
00:36:51,290 --> 00:36:53,890
Everything is
Kathleen Kennedy's fault!
894
00:36:54,090 --> 00:36:56,810
(all cheering)
895
00:36:57,610 --> 00:37:00,850
Follow me.
I'll help you find Eric.
896
00:37:01,650 --> 00:37:03,970
Okay, okay,
everything is finally loaded.
897
00:37:04,170 --> 00:37:05,770
We got Internet
at full capacity.
898
00:37:05,970 --> 00:37:07,140
You guys ready
to see if this works?
899
00:37:07,340 --> 00:37:09,210
- BOTH: Yeah!
- All right, let's do this!
900
00:37:09,410 --> 00:37:10,910
Launching Steam now.
901
00:37:11,110 --> 00:37:12,040
Steam?
902
00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:13,540
Okay. I'm in Steam.
903
00:37:13,740 --> 00:37:14,810
Got the application ready to go.
904
00:37:15,010 --> 00:37:16,530
The title screen is launching!
905
00:37:18,730 --> 00:37:20,780
It's working.
It's working, you guys!
906
00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:22,220
It looks sweet
on this big monitor!
907
00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:24,690
Wait a minute.
You mean this entire time,
908
00:37:24,890 --> 00:37:26,520
all you've wanted to do
is play Baldur's Gate 3?
909
00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:28,230
Yeah. What'd you think
I was trying to do?
910
00:37:28,430 --> 00:37:30,130
We thought you were
trying to set up some elaborate
911
00:37:30,330 --> 00:37:31,760
system to get
back to your universe!
912
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:33,930
I ain't no
quantum astro physicist.
913
00:37:34,130 --> 00:37:36,670
The fuck I know about
how the multiverse works?
914
00:37:36,870 --> 00:37:39,370
Wow. It really is Cartman.
915
00:37:39,570 --> 00:37:41,050
All right, that does it!
916
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,710
Get out of my room!
917
00:37:43,910 --> 00:37:46,210
You have to be cool to me, Kyle.
PC Principal says so.
918
00:37:46,410 --> 00:37:49,380
I don't care! All this multiple
universe stuff is tired and lazy
919
00:37:49,580 --> 00:37:51,250
and we are not doing it anymore!
920
00:37:51,450 --> 00:37:52,850
Boys! Boys,
921
00:37:53,050 --> 00:37:54,590
we need to help Disney
put our universe back together.
922
00:37:54,790 --> 00:37:56,090
Where's Eric Cartman?
923
00:37:56,290 --> 00:37:57,820
Dad, this might be hard
to understand,
924
00:37:58,020 --> 00:37:59,420
but this is Eric Cartman.
925
00:37:59,620 --> 00:38:01,060
Oh, okay, great.
Come on, Eric,
926
00:38:01,260 --> 00:38:02,590
- we need to go.
- (Kyle groans)
927
00:38:02,790 --> 00:38:05,130
We have to hurry, Eric.
928
00:38:05,330 --> 00:38:06,900
No. No, wait.
929
00:38:07,100 --> 00:38:09,000
Something's wrong.
Oh, my God!
930
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,270
- What is it?
- My save game.
931
00:38:11,470 --> 00:38:13,670
I'm already like 50 hours
into Baldur's Gate 3
932
00:38:13,870 --> 00:38:16,040
but it's saying that
I have to start a new game.
933
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,710
Do save games not cross
between multiple universes?
934
00:38:18,910 --> 00:38:19,980
Save games
don't even cross between
935
00:38:20,180 --> 00:38:21,610
PCs and PS5s,
why would they cross
936
00:38:21,810 --> 00:38:23,060
between multiple universes?
937
00:38:24,060 --> 00:38:25,250
No...!
938
00:38:25,450 --> 00:38:26,920
Please, everyone.
We are running out of time!
939
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,820
We have to close
the panderverse before
940
00:38:29,020 --> 00:38:30,590
everything we care about
is destroyed!
941
00:38:30,790 --> 00:38:31,760
So what do we have to do?
942
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,060
We have to get everyone
943
00:38:33,260 --> 00:38:34,830
back to the proper place,
but to breach
944
00:38:35,030 --> 00:38:36,630
the panderverse,
we need to find a place
945
00:38:36,830 --> 00:38:39,080
with integrity
that has a broken door.
946
00:38:39,980 --> 00:38:43,430
A place with "integridy"
that has a broken door.
947
00:38:43,630 --> 00:38:46,120
I know where to go.
948
00:38:48,190 --> 00:38:50,570
So, yeah, so it's just basically
off the hinges.
949
00:38:50,770 --> 00:38:52,580
I'd fix it myself
but I've been really busy.
950
00:38:52,780 --> 00:38:54,040
Do you think it'll work?
951
00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:55,610
If we're to try to open
a panderverse portal,
952
00:38:55,810 --> 00:38:57,650
it's as good as any place,
I suppose.
953
00:38:57,850 --> 00:38:59,580
Okay, people,
we don't have much time.
954
00:38:59,780 --> 00:39:02,800
Bring in the panderstone.
955
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,690
(bicycle bell dings)
956
00:39:05,890 --> 00:39:07,860
I'm not your enemy, Eric.
957
00:39:08,060 --> 00:39:10,130
For some reason
fate has put us together.
958
00:39:10,330 --> 00:39:12,700
What do you want from me,
Kathleen Kennedy?
959
00:39:12,900 --> 00:39:15,000
I've been stuck in
this universe for months.
960
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,070
I want out of here
just as much as you do.
961
00:39:17,270 --> 00:39:20,100
Hello, welcome to City Woke,
can I take your order, please?
962
00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:21,270
Ugh.
963
00:39:21,470 --> 00:39:23,110
We're just having tea,
thank you.
964
00:39:23,310 --> 00:39:25,110
Okay, you just wanna tea
and talk about
965
00:39:25,310 --> 00:39:27,410
shitty male-dominated society,
that's fine.
966
00:39:27,610 --> 00:39:29,450
I don't get it,
this is exactly the kind of
967
00:39:29,650 --> 00:39:31,250
universe you wanted,
why would you want to leave?
968
00:39:31,450 --> 00:39:35,170
To stop her from undoing
the panderverse completely.
969
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,590
I saw the panderstone
for the first time
970
00:39:40,790 --> 00:39:41,990
a few years ago.
971
00:39:42,190 --> 00:39:44,130
Bob Iger took us
to the Disney archives
972
00:39:44,330 --> 00:39:47,200
and showed us an ancient
piece of artificial intelligence
973
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,030
that could be used to make
the same movies over
974
00:39:50,230 --> 00:39:53,920
and over again while appealing
to absolutely everyone.
975
00:39:55,060 --> 00:39:57,270
The panderstone worked great,
for a while.
976
00:39:57,470 --> 00:40:00,540
But then came the hate mail.
Ugly letters from racists
977
00:40:00,740 --> 00:40:02,680
who couldn't stand
that some of the panderstone's
978
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,620
rehashes had diverse
women characters in the lead.
979
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:09,250
I decided I would show them.
I would start making movies
980
00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:11,290
to fight all
the bigotry in our society.
981
00:40:11,490 --> 00:40:13,490
But instead
of doing any real work,
982
00:40:13,690 --> 00:40:18,860
I turned to the panderstone.
It made things so much easier.
983
00:40:19,060 --> 00:40:21,400
Soon, I was using
the panderstone over
984
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,570
and over again to try
and fight all the ugly feedback,
985
00:40:24,770 --> 00:40:27,620
which in turn was growing
stronger and stronger.
986
00:40:28,390 --> 00:40:30,910
But I was fighting
with the wrong tool.
987
00:40:31,110 --> 00:40:32,710
I used the panderstone
to the point
988
00:40:32,910 --> 00:40:35,230
- that it became unstable.
- (whooshing)
989
00:40:36,060 --> 00:40:37,880
It opened a portal
to multiple universes,
990
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,800
and something came through.
991
00:40:48,540 --> 00:40:51,760
At first we fought. I tried
to send it back to its universe.
992
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,460
But it got the upper hand.
993
00:40:53,660 --> 00:40:56,100
It was able instead
to send me to this universe,
994
00:40:56,300 --> 00:40:58,920
out of its way so
it could thrive in ours.
995
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,840
(sighs) That's actually
the best explanation
996
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:06,280
I've heard as to why
Disney movies all suck now.
997
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,430
(typing)
998
00:41:10,330 --> 00:41:11,780
All right, I've set
the panderstone
999
00:41:11,980 --> 00:41:13,520
into the compromised doorway.
1000
00:41:13,720 --> 00:41:15,870
Activating the panderstone now.
1001
00:41:17,270 --> 00:41:18,250
Whoa!
1002
00:41:18,450 --> 00:41:19,920
Space-time portal
is manifesting!
1003
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,590
Panderverse
quantum fields are aligned!
1004
00:41:21,790 --> 00:41:24,190
Yeah, that sounds like typical
multiverse gobbledygook.
1005
00:41:24,390 --> 00:41:26,360
Will you stop ripping
on multiple universes, Kyle?
1006
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,160
I'm trying to get back
to Baldur's Gate.
1007
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,300
Now I warn you, Mr. Marsh,
once inside the panderverse,
1008
00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:33,170
you will be falling
through different realities.
1009
00:41:33,370 --> 00:41:35,310
Your mind will barely
be able to comprehend
1010
00:41:35,510 --> 00:41:37,910
- what you are experiencing.
- SHARON: Randy?
1011
00:41:38,110 --> 00:41:40,140
I think the oven door is
still having problems if you--
1012
00:41:40,340 --> 00:41:43,130
I am working on it, Sharon!
1013
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,620
The portal is at full.
This might be our only shot!
1014
00:41:47,820 --> 00:41:49,520
Good luck, Mr. Marsh!
1015
00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:51,400
Whoa!
1016
00:41:53,310 --> 00:41:54,560
(screaming)
1017
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,880
Hold on to the rope!
1018
00:41:58,380 --> 00:42:00,500
Oh, whoa!
1019
00:42:00,700 --> 00:42:02,400
Oh, my God.
1020
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,070
Whoa!
1021
00:42:05,270 --> 00:42:07,570
Whoa.
1022
00:42:07,770 --> 00:42:09,670
(grunting)
1023
00:42:09,870 --> 00:42:12,510
Oh, God, it's so weird.
1024
00:42:12,710 --> 00:42:14,510
Shorts, now I'm wearing shorts!
1025
00:42:14,710 --> 00:42:16,650
(yelling)
1026
00:42:16,850 --> 00:42:17,780
Can you imagine it?
1027
00:42:17,980 --> 00:42:19,480
An infinite number of universes
1028
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,690
with infinite combinations of
pants and shirts.
1029
00:42:21,890 --> 00:42:24,970
What do you think about
multiple universes now, boys?
1030
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:27,460
Yeah, they're pretty
fucking stupid.
1031
00:42:27,660 --> 00:42:28,560
Yeah.
1032
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,090
I understand that maybe
1033
00:42:30,290 --> 00:42:31,860
you were trying to
make a difference, Kathleen.
1034
00:42:32,060 --> 00:42:33,830
But you have to admit
the last few movies
1035
00:42:34,030 --> 00:42:35,570
you've shit out
have been real stinkers.
1036
00:42:35,770 --> 00:42:37,030
All I ever wanted was to
1037
00:42:37,230 --> 00:42:39,370
make great entertainment,
believe me.
1038
00:42:39,570 --> 00:42:42,410
But as soon as you start getting
piles and piles of hate mail,
1039
00:42:42,610 --> 00:42:45,010
endless messages
calling you the c-word,
1040
00:42:45,210 --> 00:42:46,910
you can't think straight.
1041
00:42:47,110 --> 00:42:49,680
Well, I'm sorry I wrote
all those letters.
1042
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,480
It probably was a bit much.
1043
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,790
No, I got like
10,000 letters a day.
1044
00:42:54,990 --> 00:42:56,420
Mm, I was doing more like
12,000 to 13,000,
1045
00:42:56,620 --> 00:42:58,870
especially after the new
Indiana Jones came out.
1046
00:42:59,870 --> 00:43:02,830
Then it's you! You're the one
who caused all this!
1047
00:43:03,030 --> 00:43:04,800
Fuck you! You're the one
who caused all this!
1048
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,730
I wouldn't have tried
to fight racism
1049
00:43:06,930 --> 00:43:07,860
with the panderstone
if you hadn't
1050
00:43:08,060 --> 00:43:09,200
written all those letters.
1051
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:10,500
I wouldn't have written
all those letters
1052
00:43:10,700 --> 00:43:11,740
if you hadn't
tried to fight racism
1053
00:43:11,940 --> 00:43:13,570
with a fucking panderstone.
1054
00:43:13,770 --> 00:43:15,240
(whooshing)
1055
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,640
Mr. Marsh!
Can you hear us?
1056
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:18,910
RANDY:
Oh, wow!
1057
00:43:19,110 --> 00:43:20,880
You should see
the pants I have on now!
1058
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:24,280
Whoa! Oh, now I have on,
like, suspenders.
1059
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,220
Like almost like overalls
but not quite!
1060
00:43:27,420 --> 00:43:28,380
My God.
1061
00:43:28,580 --> 00:43:30,620
Mr. Marsh!
Try and stay focused!
1062
00:43:30,820 --> 00:43:33,320
You should be
seeing another portal soon!
1063
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:35,560
If our Kathleen Kennedy
got the other Eric Cartman
1064
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,060
to the right place.
1065
00:43:37,260 --> 00:43:38,830
RANDY:
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1066
00:43:39,030 --> 00:43:40,330
Dad? What's the matter?
1067
00:43:40,530 --> 00:43:42,630
I'm wearing a Baltimore Ravens
shirt now!
1068
00:43:42,830 --> 00:43:44,230
I hate the Ravens!
1069
00:43:44,430 --> 00:43:47,000
I don't know if I can do this!
1070
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,140
Oh, now it's the Dolphins!
Ah! The Chiefs!
1071
00:43:49,340 --> 00:43:50,940
Oh, it's the Chiefs!
1072
00:43:51,140 --> 00:43:52,510
He's losing his mind!
1073
00:43:52,710 --> 00:43:54,380
The panderverse
is filled with mystery
1074
00:43:54,580 --> 00:43:57,950
and paradox, you--
you have to try and hang on!
1075
00:43:58,150 --> 00:44:00,000
(rumbling)
1076
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,400
Jesus, it's getting worse.
1077
00:44:09,310 --> 00:44:12,780
Where the fuck is Bob Iger?
1078
00:44:13,580 --> 00:44:15,630
Uh, Mr. Iger
just had to take some
1079
00:44:15,830 --> 00:44:17,370
of the others to a screening.
1080
00:44:17,570 --> 00:44:20,400
I think that things
are being kept from me.
1081
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,910
And if you're going
to keep things from me,
1082
00:44:23,110 --> 00:44:25,480
then you'd better
put a chick in it,
1083
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,810
and make her
fucking gay as fuck.
1084
00:44:29,010 --> 00:44:31,030
(rumbling)
1085
00:44:35,170 --> 00:44:37,920
So that's it,
that's the connection.
1086
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,860
I reacted to you
and you reacted to me.
1087
00:44:41,060 --> 00:44:43,490
And I guess
we created each other.
1088
00:44:43,690 --> 00:44:44,900
Mrs. Kennedy,
1089
00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:46,100
I don't think
I've ever said this
1090
00:44:46,300 --> 00:44:49,100
before in my life but...
I'm sorry.
1091
00:44:49,300 --> 00:44:52,100
I lashed out so hard and used
the c-word so many times,
1092
00:44:52,300 --> 00:44:54,500
you didn't really have
a choice but to double down.
1093
00:44:54,700 --> 00:44:57,970
Eric, I know you care
about all things Disney.
1094
00:44:58,170 --> 00:45:01,580
I'm sorry I was so reckless
with the things that you love.
1095
00:45:01,780 --> 00:45:04,610
It was just lazy.
1096
00:45:04,820 --> 00:45:06,280
I guess just wailing
1097
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,970
on woke stuff all the time
is pretty lazy, too.
1098
00:45:17,140 --> 00:45:21,510
I think...
I think I can let go now.
1099
00:45:28,450 --> 00:45:31,760
Aah...
1100
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:37,600
Come on, Kate. Looks like
we got a flight to catch.
1101
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,160
(electricity crackles)
1102
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,560
Whoa, what the hell is that?
1103
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,530
(screaming)
1104
00:45:51,730 --> 00:45:53,130
(others gasp)
1105
00:45:53,330 --> 00:45:56,070
Oh, yo, bitch!
You killed Kenny!
1106
00:45:56,270 --> 00:45:58,280
You fat ho!
1107
00:46:00,150 --> 00:46:02,160
(electricity crackles)
1108
00:46:03,990 --> 00:46:05,560
(tires screech)
1109
00:46:07,860 --> 00:46:09,100
Look!
1110
00:46:12,730 --> 00:46:14,570
I'm back, you guys!
1111
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,390
Kyle! Kyle, I'm back!
1112
00:46:18,590 --> 00:46:20,060
I was so wrong
about Kathleen Kennedy,
1113
00:46:20,260 --> 00:46:21,660
Kyle, she's so awesome!
1114
00:46:21,860 --> 00:46:23,930
Okay, what Cartman is this?
1115
00:46:24,130 --> 00:46:25,330
Mrs. Kennedy, you're back!
1116
00:46:25,530 --> 00:46:27,730
- Great to see you, ma'am.
- Thanks, you guys.
1117
00:46:27,930 --> 00:46:30,530
We have a lot of changes
to discuss at the company.
1118
00:46:30,730 --> 00:46:32,940
From now on we're only
going to make original content
1119
00:46:33,140 --> 00:46:34,570
that doesn't pander.
1120
00:46:34,770 --> 00:46:36,670
Sure we will, Kate.
Sure we will.
1121
00:46:36,870 --> 00:46:37,940
(chuckles)
1122
00:46:38,140 --> 00:46:40,030
RANDY:
Hey, guys! Guys, over here!
1123
00:46:40,790 --> 00:46:44,050
I did a little extra work while
I was out in multiple universes.
1124
00:46:44,250 --> 00:46:46,520
We're not gonna have a problem
with billionaires anymore,
1125
00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:48,500
check it out!
1126
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,750
(all cheering)
1127
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,960
Now people who can do stuff
will be just as poor
1128
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:56,330
as the rest of us!
1129
00:46:56,530 --> 00:46:58,690
(excited clamoring)
1130
00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:01,700
Tom, it appears that
everything is back to normal.
1131
00:47:01,900 --> 00:47:04,430
Billionaires have been put
in their place and once again
1132
00:47:04,630 --> 00:47:07,300
it doesn't matter that we
don't know how to do anything.
1133
00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:09,810
It's a good ending here
and we can all be happy
1134
00:47:10,010 --> 00:47:14,460
that everyone
is back in their universe.
1135
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,480
(screaming, panting)
1136
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,190
Mom! Mom!
1137
00:47:23,390 --> 00:47:25,090
What is it, Mrs. Kennedy?
1138
00:47:25,290 --> 00:47:26,620
Oh. Oh, Mom!
1139
00:47:26,820 --> 00:47:28,590
I was just having
the worst nightmare.
1140
00:47:28,790 --> 00:47:31,230
I was me except everyone
around me was different.
1141
00:47:31,430 --> 00:47:32,730
Oh, no, Mrs. Kennedy.
1142
00:47:32,930 --> 00:47:36,300
Here, have some of your favorite
cereal to calm you down.
1143
00:47:36,500 --> 00:47:38,530
Oh, thank you. It was so real.
1144
00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:40,170
All my friends were there
but they'd been
1145
00:47:40,370 --> 00:47:41,500
replaced by strangers.
1146
00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:43,410
I think you were even there
too, Kyle.
1147
00:47:43,610 --> 00:47:45,480
Really? I was there, too?
1148
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,140
Yeah, that's right, Kyle,
you were there
1149
00:47:47,340 --> 00:47:48,310
but you weren't cereal
and I couldn't
1150
00:47:48,510 --> 00:47:49,510
just eat you like I can here.
1151
00:47:49,710 --> 00:47:51,010
- (munching)
- (Kyle screaming)
1152
00:47:51,210 --> 00:47:52,320
KYLE:
No, please, no, Mrs. Kennedy!
1153
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:53,920
Oh, you're so yummy, Kyle!
1154
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,250
Oh, oh, it's so good to be home.
1155
00:47:56,450 --> 00:47:58,640
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.86917
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