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1
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:08,030
A well-run company
is like an intricate machine.
2
00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:11,703
A lot of moving parts working together
in perfect precision.
3
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:20,550
You might say Veridian Dynamics
is like a finely tuned watch.
4
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:23,987
That's Dale.
He even has a big hand and a little hand.
5
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:27,652
You guys are great.
Ahead of schedule and under budget.
6
00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:30,958
- So, what is it?
- We call it "The voice of God. "
7
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,261
- No, we don't.
- No, we don't.
8
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,597
Hypersonic Sound, or H.S. S...
9
00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:40,332
projects a narrow beam of sound which can only
be heard by a specifically targeted person.
10
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:43,069
Field testing shows that the subject-
or victim...
11
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,805
as I like to call people helped
by Veridian technology-
12
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,642
can be hundreds of feet away...
13
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,410
and will hear the message
as though it's being whispered only to them.
14
00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:53,975
It's highly persuasive.
Advertising companies are very excited...
15
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:57,956
because it will allow them to burrow
even deeper into the human brain.
16
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:02,592
Let's zap Rick.
He's always using the copy machine.
17
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:04,926
We get it. You need to make a lot of copies.
18
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:07,432
just don't set it too high.
19
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:11,197
At full power, the sound wave is so intense,
it can cause vomiting.
20
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,262
A machine that causes vomiting.
21
00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:15,807
That could have all kinds of applications
for the military.
22
00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:18,002
And fashion modeling.
23
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,479
Rick. It's me, God.
24
00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:25,317
You want me to stop using the copier?
25
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:30,051
But why? I-I don't make that many copies.
26
00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:34,560
No. No, I-I'm not questioning you.
27
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:38,188
This is what it would be like if God was insecure.
28
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,699
This place may be a perfectly tuned machine...
29
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,762
but the thing about a perfect machine...
30
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,367
it only takes the smallest glitch
to throw the whole thing off.
31
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:06,317
That's not right.
32
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:19,001
Really not right.
33
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,272
This is such a circus.
34
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:29,440
You're a baby. You know that? A big baby.
35
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:32,349
Veronica, it's toxic.
We had to call in the contamination guys.
36
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,716
So am I allowed to ask what ate my desk?
37
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:38,780
All we know is it came from a leak
from Dr. Bamba's biocomputer upstairs.
38
00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:41,884
Yes. A biocomputer.
It's half machine, half living organism.
39
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,794
And if you think that sounds creepy,
you should see it at feeding time.
40
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:49,426
- Speaking of useless half living organisms.
- Hello!
41
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:54,098
I brought doughnuts. A festive treat
while we wait out this little inconvenience.
42
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,938
Don't think you can buy your way out of this
with doughnuts, Dr. Bamba.
43
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,001
Just give me a status report.
44
00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:01,069
Okay. And a buttermilk log.
45
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:05,106
Uh, the biocomputer,
which I have humorously named Johnny...
46
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,291
has been leaking an acid-like goo-
or "ass-goo" for short.
47
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:13,985
Anyway, we are stumped.
48
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,051
Johnny has been running nonstop for three years...
49
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,188
and we've never had a problem like this before.
50
00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:20,994
Sadly, until we find the reason for the leak,
it will continue.
51
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,001
Is it even safe to work in the building?
52
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:25,003
just get it fixed.
53
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,471
And you need to grow a pair.
54
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,667
Veronica assigned Dr. Bamba to Room 4D...
55
00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:35,145
which is known as "the ridiculously tiny office. '"
56
00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:41,317
This office is ridiculously tiny.
57
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:47,756
- Other employees were left
to find their own office space.
58
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,818
- People! People!
- Please, help us. Please.
59
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,126
I hate seeing you put out like this.
60
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:57,534
I said, I hate seeing you put out like this.
61
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,667
Thank you.
62
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,644
Make sure that it- it's more powdery.
63
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:10,706
I'm supposed to share an office with Wallace,
that food taster guy in the basement...
64
00:04:10,783 --> 00:04:13,217
u- unless anyone else has an idea?
65
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:16,881
Uh, take the freight elevator? It's faster.
66
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:20,653
Thanks, Ted.
That's exactly the idea I was looking for.
67
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:27,525
I don't know anything about women,
at least according to my wife...
68
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:31,229
but I think Linda wants to move into your office.
69
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,295
I know, but it'd be awkward.
70
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:37,173
Even though she has a boyfriend,
there's always been this attraction between us.
71
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:40,974
I mean, she is smokin' hot.
72
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,538
Anyway, you're right,
but I just don't think it's a good idea.
73
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,710
So I do know something about women.
74
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:50,552
I am gonna call my wife
and tell her how hot Linda is.
75
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,725
Oh, wait.
76
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,960
- Experimental cracker?
- God, no.
77
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,027
But you keep chewin'.
78
00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:07,902
Okay, Linda.
79
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:13,839
Pretty.
80
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:20,217
Maybe I wasn't being that clear before.
Can I move in with you?
81
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:24,848
But what about Wallace and all his crazy foods?
That's gotta be fun.
82
00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:27,722
Ted, he told me
he needs a good woman in his life...
83
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,785
because his mom just died.
84
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,695
Then he coughed up some
of the experimental cracker he'd been eating...
85
00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:34,756
and swallowed it again.
86
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,803
I mean, sure, every girl dreams
of a romantic moment like that...
87
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:40,065
but it was all happening so fast.
88
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:42,573
Well, I'd love to help you, Linda...
89
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,769
but I don't have a lot of space in here.
90
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,312
In here. In here. In here.
91
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:50,076
And there's that terrible echo.
92
00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:53,880
Okay. Of course.
I- I'd be happy to have you share my office.
93
00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:57,389
Thank you. I'll be right back.
94
00:05:57,457 --> 00:06:00,949
Oh! And your penholder's
gonna be perfect for my tampons.
95
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,724
I'm kidding. But seriously,
I'm gonna need a couple of drawers.
96
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,663
I can do this. It'll be fine.
97
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:11,761
We just have to make sure
we keep things professional.
98
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:18,576
Oh, God!
99
00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:22,808
I've been lugging that thing all over the place.
100
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:31,651
Oh, boy.
101
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,091
Veridian Dynamics.
102
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:37,026
Machines.
103
00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:40,429
When you were little, you wanted to be one.
104
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,434
Now we're working to make that happen...
105
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,936
by taking the best things about people...
106
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:48,132
and the best things about machines...
107
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,838
and combining them...
108
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:55,369
into something strong and, we hope, loving.
109
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:58,178
Veridian Dynamics.
110
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:02,620
Man and machines. Best friends forever.
111
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,519
I wasn't the only one
being affected by the goo...
112
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,528
coming out of Dr. Bamba's Johnny.
113
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:14,191
All the scientists from the biocomputer floor
had been reassigned to other labs.
114
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,168
- Why don't you go talk to her?
- Talk to her?
115
00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:20,672
Would you talk to a rainbow... or a sunset?
116
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:23,174
If I wanted to get it on
with refracted light, I would.
117
00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:27,178
If only I was a worm. I could cut myself in two
and date my lower half.
118
00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:30,682
We all wish we were worms,
Lem, but that's never going to happen.
119
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,809
Now get in there.
120
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,859
Hi.
121
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,895
I'm Lem.
122
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:47,262
I'm Lucy. I work upstairs in Robotics.
123
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:51,702
I shouldn't be talking to you. I just created
a robo-boyfriend who gets very jealous.
124
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:53,705
- Oh.
- W-Wait.
125
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:56,401
I'm kidding. We broke up.
126
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,274
That's funny. You're funny.
127
00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:01,438
I can be funny.
128
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:04,711
Uh, want to see me throw something
at that guy, or touch the ceiling?
129
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,274
That's lame.
130
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,679
But it's cute you're trying so hard
to impress me.
131
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,657
If you like lame,
you should meet me for a drink tonight...
132
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:16,388
after I have dinner with my mom
and pretend to go to bed.
133
00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:19,697
One drip on a desk.
134
00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:22,029
That's all it took to throw things out of whack.
135
00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:24,729
And then when that happens,
it changes the way you look at things.
136
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,100
Are you staring at my butt?
137
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,772
Hmm? No, your butt is in my staring place.
138
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,974
So technically, it's staring at me.
139
00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:39,313
Sorry. It's from a small town.
140
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:41,819
It's never seen a big businessman like you before.
141
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:44,379
Well, tell it to act more professional.
142
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,482
It's making a spectacle of itself.
143
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,961
I was worried about sharing an office
with someone I'm attracted to...
144
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:01,905
but the real problem is being stuck with
someone with such annoying work habits.
145
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:06,001
Mama. Say "mama. "
146
00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:08,137
Mama.
147
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:12,082
Look, he's trying to say it.
Only he pronounces it "mau mau. "
148
00:09:12,151 --> 00:09:14,176
- Mau mau.
- Linda?
149
00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:16,448
Excuse me. Yes?
150
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:18,752
I need to get some work done.
Maybe you should also.
151
00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:20,985
And I'm sure the fish has things to do too...
152
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,460
like protect his treasure from that diver.
153
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:26,123
Okay, first of all, "the fish" has a name.
154
00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:29,599
He's MacGyver.
That's right. MacGyver and the diver.
155
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:33,332
And second of all, they're gay married.
And don't you darejudge-
156
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,341
You do know I need your report
on the hypersonic sound project in two days?
157
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,640
Whoa. Look who's all "get to work. "
158
00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:43,708
Hey, MacGyver.
Why do you think Ted's like that?
159
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,377
Who do you think
he didn't get enough love from?
160
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:49,012
That's right. His mau mau.
161
00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:51,512
# Are you ready #
162
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,354
#Yes, I'm ready #
163
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,884
#Are you ready #
#Yes, I'm ready ##
164
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,954
# Is your report ready #
165
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:00,828
# No, it's not ready #
166
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:04,233
- # I should have your fish do it #
- # He can only write mau mau ##
167
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:09,065
I had a great time last night.
168
00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:12,542
I've never been to a dance-aoke bar before.
169
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,603
Well, technically, it's a karaoke bar...
170
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,410
but I like to bring it when I perform.
171
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:19,815
Listen. I had a great time also.
172
00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:22,217
I'm just so sorry about the way it ended.
173
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,993
- Good night, Lem.
- Good night, Lucy.
174
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,431
Lem?
175
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,232
You were allergic to my perfume.
176
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:41,273
It could've happened to anyone.
177
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,707
I'm not wearing any now.
178
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,582
How you doing? I'm Brody.
179
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,880
I was assigned to this office...
180
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:55,352
with this beautiful, exotic lady.
181
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:57,889
I'm not exotic. I'm Asian.
182
00:10:57,957 --> 00:11:00,448
There are more of us than there are of you...
183
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:02,960
so statistically, you're the exotic one.
184
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,691
What? Wait. What?
185
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:08,029
You heard the statistically average lady!
186
00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:16,672
Is it possible to overdose on antacid?
I hope the answer's yes.
187
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:20,906
Here. Let's find out together.
They just yelled at me upstairs.
188
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:24,416
They're mad because this leak
is hurting productivity in our department.
189
00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:27,975
Someone even suggested making the cubicle
workers do their jobs in hazmat suits.
190
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:30,420
- Well, that seems a little-
- Save your breath. They told me no.
191
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,423
I need this leak fixed now, Ted.
192
00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:34,425
Well, I'm not waiting on Bamba.
193
00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:37,121
The man is so stressed,
he spends his day staring out the window...
194
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,221
he drew on the wall of his office.
195
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:43,291
I put Lem and Phil on it. Believe me, no one
wants this problem solved more than I do.
196
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:48,570
Is Ken having trouble with Barbie
in their Malibu Dream House?
197
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:51,303
I must say, the thought of you guys
in there together sickens me.
198
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:55,143
- You're not jealous, are you?
- Jealous implies I can't have something I want.
199
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,775
This is more like if someone borrows my stapler.
200
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,819
Even if I'm not using the thing...
201
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:04,117
I still don't like the thought
of someone else pounding away on it.
202
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,785
See that? She's been working for 10 minutes now.
203
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,888
- I'm actually getting some-
- I need a break.
204
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:15,195
- Tell me about your ex-wife.
- Lovely woman.
205
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:18,100
Sex was good. Crazy as hell. Back to work.
206
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:20,229
So she was crazy, huh?
207
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,934
I'll bet that's why the sex was good.
Why'd she leave?
208
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:27,240
Sure. Let's talk about my wife taking off
one day, abandoning me and our child...
209
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:30,942
flying off to save the world while leaving
the wreckage behind of our broken family.
210
00:12:31,016 --> 00:12:36,420
- That'll be a fun afternoon.
- It's not bad to go to a sad place sometimes, Ted.
211
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,719
And I hope you've talked about your wife
to someone.
212
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:42,989
Because it's important to work through
relationship issues and figure out what went wrong.
213
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:46,554
Otherwise, you'll just keep making
the same mistakes over and over again.
214
00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:48,623
You know what I mean?
215
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,228
I guess I hit a nerve.
216
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,296
He's got more problems than you...
217
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,706
and you poop in your air.
218
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:03,110
Now I know why Barbie and Ken
are sold separately.
219
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:05,480
Can I move in with you?
220
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:12,688
It was impossible
to get work done with Linda in my office...
221
00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:14,658
so I moved in with Veronica.
222
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:18,390
She and I both appreciate a quiet,
professional work environment.
223
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:27,037
Sorry. I couldn't get any work done
with that hair screaming at me.
224
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,708
The leak has put Veronica
under a little stress too.
225
00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:32,767
The next day, the stress intensified...
226
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:35,006
and so did Veronica's way of coping with it.
227
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,742
Hyah!
228
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:45,380
Still, it's easier than being with Linda.
229
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:47,948
Besides, Veronica goes to a lot of meetings...
230
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,461
so I get the place to myself.
231
00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:54,124
They've decided upstairs to make me
the fall guy for this whole biocomputer thing.
232
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,566
A project that wasn't even mine.
233
00:13:56,635 --> 00:14:00,366
- Just dripped on my floor.
- Veronica, that's a gun.
234
00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:03,237
Blame the bird that dropped the turd,
not the hat that got the splat.
235
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:05,903
- That's a basic rule of business.
- Veronica?
236
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:08,640
- Don't these people know anything?
- What are you doing?
237
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,246
That always works.
238
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,379
- Mother!
- Ted, you're a guest.
239
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:18,821
I can't have you flinching
every time I shoot a gun in here.
240
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:28,166
So, it's not really working out with Veronica.
241
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:30,668
Phil?
242
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:33,102
Have you been able to plug the leak
in the biocomputer?
243
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,299
Because I need it plugged, Phil.
I need it plugged bad.
244
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,901
According to my wife, I'm not good
at reading men either, but it sounds like-
245
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:42,641
Look, I can't go back to my office
because Linda's work habits drive me crazy.
246
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:46,674
And I can't say anything because then we
just get in a fight, and I don't want to fight.
247
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:49,243
I like Linda.
I just need things back the way they were!
248
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:51,255
- Well, I suppose we-
- Just do it!
249
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:53,848
Oh, God!
250
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:56,292
- Ted, are you avoiding me?
- What? No.
251
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:59,160
- The opposite. I've been looking for you.
- I've been in your office.
252
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:02,098
- I know.
- I feel like things have gotten weird since I moved in.
253
00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,931
And I think I know why.
Maybe we should talk about it.
254
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:08,667
Ooh, I'd like to. Uh, I can't.
255
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,268
I'm in the middle of something, so- darn it!
256
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:22,384
Christmas was great, of course. It was
a real white Christmas, which was just awesome.
257
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:24,547
This polymer should plug the leak...
258
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:26,614
but it's a temporary fix.
259
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,956
Unless we figure out why it's leaking,
it's gonna keep happening.
260
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,360
Look at that gorgeous creature.
261
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,790
I have to stop him from getting my girl.
262
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:39,235
Oh, God, Lem. You're using science for no good.
263
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:42,206
We took an oath we would try to do that less.
264
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,242
I'm cranking this all the way up.
265
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:47,370
I'll bet Brody is a lot less suave
when he's covered in his own vomit.
266
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,311
I know I am.
267
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:53,014
Boo-ya-ha!
268
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:55,849
- Oh, God.
- Well, that's gross.
269
00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:58,651
Oh, my God.
I emptied the stomach of the woman I love.
270
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,692
Okay, fellas. Time's up.
271
00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:03,250
We're gonna go fix the biocomputer. Follow me.
272
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:05,194
But the polymer still needs more testing.
273
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:08,199
If you come with me now,
I won't ask what you did to that poor woman...
274
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:10,497
to make her throw up like that.
275
00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:11,900
Fair enough.
276
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:16,541
My God. It's beautiful.
277
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:21,344
Half computer, halfliving organic matter.
278
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:23,347
That looks like barf.
279
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,417
I miss Lucy.
280
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:29,921
I just want to shoot this thing
full of polymer, get on with our lives.
281
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,923
Wait.
282
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,425
Since it hasn't been tested,
there's a 20% chance...
283
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,053
that when the polymer interacts
with the corrosive acids...
284
00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:39,723
the entire thing could explode.
285
00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:41,595
Well, let's see. Twenty percent.
286
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:45,034
There's a hundred percent chance
Linda's still in my office.
287
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:47,197
Let's do it. Stand back.
288
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:56,579
There was a 1-in-5 chance
that this could end badly...
289
00:16:56,648 --> 00:17:00,243
but that was a chance I was willing to take
to get my life back to normal.
290
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,054
Wait!
291
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:07,286
I know what's causing the problem.
The biocomputer has an ulcer.
292
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,021
That's why it's leaking fluid.
293
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:12,791
This thing has been running nonstop
for three years.
294
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,799
It's stressed.
295
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,597
But since it's a biocomputer,
instead of crashing like a machine...
296
00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:19,899
it's secreting acids like a living organism.
297
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:24,568
- How do you know that?
- I realized it when I saw you chugging antacid.
298
00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:29,770
I guess I've also been under a lot of pressure.
299
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:33,875
With Linda moving in my office and all,
it's- it's been a difficult time.
300
00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:37,687
- So what do we do?
- We're men.
301
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:39,747
We ignore your vulnerable moment.
302
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:42,350
I meant about the biocomputer.
303
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,919
All it needs is a way to communicate
when it's stressed.
304
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:47,488
I can write a program
that's triggered by an acid buildup-
305
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,626
a sort of acid interface, or "ass-face" for short.
306
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:56,030
I'm not sure these abbreviations
are really worth the time they're saving.
307
00:17:57,276 --> 00:17:59,244
As much as I hate to admit it...
308
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:01,302
the biocomputer and I have something in common.
309
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,644
We both get stressed out
when we don't communicate.
310
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:06,513
Plus, I'm pretty sure
neither of us can fold a fitted sheet.
311
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:11,654
- We need to talk!
- Oh, not now, Ted. I'm working.
312
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,714
- Now you're working?
- Yeah.
313
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:16,625
I've got this report due tomorrow, remember?
314
00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:19,994
But fine. What did you want to talk about?
315
00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:23,296
Well, your work habits, and how bad they are...
316
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:25,359
and how much that bugs me.
317
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:28,634
Okay. This can wait. Go ahead.
318
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:32,872
Well, to begin with, your work habits are bad.
319
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,505
Uh, and in conclusion, that bugs me.
320
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:38,550
That's not why you've been so tense.
321
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:41,450
You know why you've been so tense?
322
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,080
- Does it have anything to do with your work habits?
- No.
323
00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:46,147
- Damn.
- You still want me.
324
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:48,159
I'm in your staring place...
325
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:51,560
but you're still too wounded by your ex-wife
leaving you to know what to do with that.
326
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,599
So you don't want to be with me
because you're afraid I might leave too.
327
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:57,191
You flirt with me. You stare at my butt.
328
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:59,931
- But that's as far as you can go.
- As far as I can go?
329
00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:02,064
You flirt too, and you're the one
that has a boyfriend.
330
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,542
Well, you're the one that has a good-
That's a good point!
331
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:09,411
But six weeks ago, I did not have a boyfriend,
and you still wouldn't be with me.
332
00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:13,680
Fine. From now on, no more flirting.
333
00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:17,415
- We keep it professional.
- Fine with me, boss.
334
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:21,255
Good. Starting now,
you're just another buttless coworker.
335
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,352
Good. Then the door
has nothing to hit on my way out.
336
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,107
Lem.
337
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,735
I found your sweater in the lab,
so I had it dry-cleaned.
338
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:41,540
Oh, that- that was nice of you.
339
00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:44,411
Listen, Lucy, about what happened-
340
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:46,974
Look. It's the exotic dude from the lab.
341
00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:48,986
Hey, buddy.
342
00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:50,749
Come on, babe. Tea's ready.
343
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:55,090
Sorry. I thought he was a jerk at first...
344
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:59,221
but then when I threw up,
he brought me home and took care of me.
345
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,266
Weird, huh?
346
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,460
If I hadn't gotten sick,
this never would've happened.
347
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:09,371
So you owe me $12 for the dry cleaning.
348
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:13,739
Thanks to Phil, the biocomputer healed and
was brought back to the land of the half living.
349
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:17,043
More importantly, everyone could
go back to their own work spaces.
350
00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:20,576
For some, it was bittersweet.
351
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,652
You'll always have your sneeze-related head injury.
352
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:30,058
For others, getting their office back
was Julie Andrews sweet.
353
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,293
You did this, Phil...
354
00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:40,327
and to recognize your efforts,
we're promoting you to senior lab associate.
355
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,373
Oh, I was promoted to that a year ago.
356
00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:44,204
Really?
357
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:47,541
You shouldn't have been.
You probably owe the company some money.
358
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:50,081
I'll check into that for you.
359
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,347
Thank you.
360
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:57,552
Here are the test results
for the sound transmitter.
361
00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:00,717
Your presentation is at 3:00,
so you have a few hours to look it over.
362
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:03,124
Thank you. Very professionally done.
363
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:05,186
My process is just different than yours...
364
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,198
but I am professional.
365
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,633
- And I believe professionalism is our new mandate?
- Yes, it is.
366
00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:13,671
Well, thank you for letting me share
your office, and good afternoon.
367
00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:15,570
Good afternoon.
368
00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:39,719
English - US - SDH
31357
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