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1
00:02:13,324 --> 00:02:18,023
I was sitting with my friend
Arthur Kornblum in a restaurant.
2
00:02:18,095 --> 00:02:21,292
It was the Horn & Hardert Cafeteria.
3
00:02:21,365 --> 00:02:24,027
And this beautiful girl
walked in...
4
00:02:24,101 --> 00:02:26,865
and I turned to Arthur,
and I said...
5
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:29,429
"Arthur, you see that girl?
6
00:02:29,507 --> 00:02:31,372
I'm going to marry her."
7
00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:34,104
And two weeks later,
we were married.
8
00:02:34,178 --> 00:02:37,443
And it's over 50 years later...
9
00:02:37,515 --> 00:02:39,449
and we're still married.
10
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,232
- I love you.
- I love you.
11
00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:32,059
Hi, Sally.
12
00:03:32,136 --> 00:03:35,572
Sally, this is Harry Burns.
Harry, this is Sally Albright.
13
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,232
Nice to meet you.
14
00:03:37,308 --> 00:03:40,835
- You want to drive the first shift?
- You're there already. You can start.
15
00:03:40,912 --> 00:03:42,379
Back's open.
16
00:03:44,115 --> 00:03:47,050
- Call me.
- I'll call you as soon as I get there.
17
00:03:47,118 --> 00:03:49,609
Call me from the road.
18
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,382
I'll call you before then.
19
00:03:51,455 --> 00:03:53,423
- I love you.
- I love you.
20
00:03:58,596 --> 00:03:59,858
Sorry.
21
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:03,565
- I miss you already.
- I miss you.
22
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,465
- Bye.
- Bye.
23
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:25,588
I have it all figured out.
It's an 18-hour trip...
24
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:28,022
which breaks down into six shifts
of three hours each...
25
00:04:28,092 --> 00:04:31,528
or alternatively
we could break it down by mileage.
26
00:04:31,596 --> 00:04:35,362
There's a map on the visor...
27
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:39,460
that I've marked to show the locations
where we can change shifts.
28
00:04:39,537 --> 00:04:41,368
Grape?
29
00:04:41,439 --> 00:04:44,431
No. I don't like to eat
between meals.
30
00:04:48,446 --> 00:04:50,311
I'll roll down the window.
31
00:04:58,656 --> 00:05:01,420
Why don't you tell me
the story of your life.
32
00:05:03,561 --> 00:05:07,759
- The story of my life?
- We got 18 hours before we hit New York.
33
00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:10,323
The story of my life isn't even
going to get us out of Chicago.
34
00:05:10,401 --> 00:05:13,336
Nothing's happened to me yet.
That's why I'm going to New York.
35
00:05:13,404 --> 00:05:16,066
So something'll happen to you?
Like what?
36
00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:18,836
I'm going to journalism school
to become a reporter.
37
00:05:18,909 --> 00:05:21,810
So you can write about things
that happen to other people.
38
00:05:22,813 --> 00:05:25,805
- That's one way to look at it.
- Suppose nothing happens?
39
00:05:25,883 --> 00:05:28,909
Suppose you live there your whole life
and nothing happens?
40
00:05:28,986 --> 00:05:31,648
You never become anything.
Finally you die one of those deaths...
41
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:35,453
where nobody notices for two weeks
until the smell drifts into the hallway.
42
00:05:37,561 --> 00:05:41,224
- Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.
- That's what drew her to me.
43
00:05:41,298 --> 00:05:44,631
- Your dark side?
- Sure. Don't you have a dark side?
44
00:05:44,702 --> 00:05:48,661
You're probably one of those cheerful
people who dots their "I's" with hearts.
45
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,367
I have just as much of a dark side
as the next person.
46
00:05:51,442 --> 00:05:54,639
Really? When I buy a new book,
I always read the last page first.
47
00:05:54,712 --> 00:05:57,806
That way, in case I die
before I finish, I know how it ends.
48
00:05:57,882 --> 00:06:00,373
That, my friend, is a dark side.
49
00:06:00,451 --> 00:06:02,783
That doesn't mean
you're deep or anything.
50
00:06:02,853 --> 00:06:05,720
- Yes, basically I'm a happy person.
- So am I.
51
00:06:05,790 --> 00:06:07,781
There isn't anything wrong with that.
52
00:06:07,858 --> 00:06:11,157
Of course not. You're too busy
being happy. Ever think about death?
53
00:06:11,228 --> 00:06:12,718
- Yes.
- Sure you do.
54
00:06:12,797 --> 00:06:15,288
A fleeting thought that drifts
in and out of the transom of your mind.
55
00:06:15,366 --> 00:06:17,061
I spend hours...
I spend days...
56
00:06:17,134 --> 00:06:19,193
And this makes you a better person?
57
00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:22,899
When the shit comes down,
I'm gonna be prepared, and you're not.
58
00:06:22,973 --> 00:06:26,670
In the meantime, you're gonna ruin
your whole life waiting for it.
59
00:06:34,585 --> 00:06:36,849
- You're wrong.
- I'm not wrong.
60
00:06:36,921 --> 00:06:39,355
He wants her to leave.
That's why he puts her on the plane.
61
00:06:39,423 --> 00:06:42,449
- I don't think she wants to stay.
- Of course she wants to stay.
62
00:06:42,526 --> 00:06:45,552
Wouldn't you rather be with
Humphrey Bogart than the other guy?
63
00:06:45,629 --> 00:06:48,689
I don't want to spend
the rest of my life in Casablanca...
64
00:06:48,766 --> 00:06:51,030
married to a man who runs a bar.
65
00:06:51,102 --> 00:06:53,627
That probably sounds snobbish to you,
but I don't.
66
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,638
You'd rather be
in a passionless marriage?
67
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,970
And be the first lady
of Czechoslovakia.
68
00:06:58,042 --> 00:07:00,203
Than live with a man you've had
the greatest sex of your life with...
69
00:07:00,277 --> 00:07:03,144
just because he owns a bar
and that is all he does?
70
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:06,547
Yes. And so would any woman
in her right mind.
71
00:07:06,617 --> 00:07:09,142
Women are very practical,
even Ingrid Bergman...
72
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:13,156
which is why she gets on the plane
at the end of the movie.
73
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,390
I understand.
74
00:07:18,462 --> 00:07:20,123
What? What?
75
00:07:20,197 --> 00:07:22,165
- Nothing.
- What?
76
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,996
Forget about it.
77
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:26,002
- Forget about what?
- It's not important.
78
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:28,334
Just tell me.
79
00:07:28,405 --> 00:07:31,602
Obviously you haven't had
great sex yet.
80
00:07:31,675 --> 00:07:34,007
- Two, please.
- Right over there.
81
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,103
- Yes, I have.
- No, you haven't.
82
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:40,116
It just so happens that I have had
plenty of good sex.
83
00:07:58,469 --> 00:08:00,562
With whom?
84
00:08:00,638 --> 00:08:02,071
What?
85
00:08:02,139 --> 00:08:04,471
With whom did you have
this great sex?
86
00:08:04,542 --> 00:08:06,703
I'm not gonna tell you that.
87
00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:08,369
Fine. Don't tell me.
88
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,384
Shel Gordon.
89
00:08:16,187 --> 00:08:17,882
Shel? Sheldon?
90
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:21,482
No. No, you did not have
great sex with Sheldon.
91
00:08:21,559 --> 00:08:24,323
- I did too.
- No, you didn't.
92
00:08:24,395 --> 00:08:26,556
Sheldon can do your income taxes.
93
00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:29,064
If you need a root canal,
Sheldon's your man.
94
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,226
But humping and pumping
is not Sheldon's strong suit.
95
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,361
It's the name.
"Do it to me, Sheldon.
96
00:08:33,437 --> 00:08:36,964
You're an animal, Sheldon.
Ride me, big Sheldon."
97
00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:39,066
It doesn't work.
98
00:08:40,177 --> 00:08:42,668
- What can I get you?
- I'll have a number three.
99
00:08:43,881 --> 00:08:46,441
I'd like the chef's salad, please,
with the oil and vinegar on the side...
100
00:08:46,517 --> 00:08:48,007
and the apple pie � la mode.
101
00:08:48,085 --> 00:08:51,577
Chef and apple � la mode.
102
00:08:51,655 --> 00:08:55,182
But I'd like the pie heated,
and I want the ice cream on the side.
103
00:08:55,259 --> 00:08:57,659
And I'd like strawberry
instead of vanilla, if you have it.
104
00:08:57,728 --> 00:09:00,219
If not, then no ice cream, just
whipped cream, but only if it's real.
105
00:09:00,297 --> 00:09:03,095
- If it's out of a can, then nothing.
- Not even the pie?
106
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,931
No, just the pie,
but then not heated.
107
00:09:12,376 --> 00:09:13,400
What?
108
00:09:13,477 --> 00:09:15,342
Nothing, nothing.
109
00:09:17,314 --> 00:09:20,943
- How come you broke up with Sheldon?
- How do you know we broke up?
110
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,213
If you didn't break up,
you wouldn't be here with me.
111
00:09:23,287 --> 00:09:25,448
You'd be with Sheldon,
the Wonder Schlong.
112
00:09:26,690 --> 00:09:29,955
First of all, I am not "with" you.
113
00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:33,554
Second of all, it is none
of your business why we broke up.
114
00:09:33,631 --> 00:09:36,122
You're right.
I don't want to know.
115
00:09:39,637 --> 00:09:42,333
If you must know,
it was because he was jealous...
116
00:09:42,406 --> 00:09:44,465
and I had these
"days of the week" underpants.
117
00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:47,806
I'm sorry.
I need a judge's ruling on this.
118
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:49,368
"Days of the week" underpants?
119
00:09:49,446 --> 00:09:52,006
Yes. They had
the days of the week on them...
120
00:09:52,082 --> 00:09:54,016
and I thought they were funny.
121
00:09:54,084 --> 00:09:57,520
One day, Sheldon says to me,
"You never wear Sunday."
122
00:09:57,588 --> 00:10:00,853
He's all suspicious.
Where was Sunday? Where had I left it?
123
00:10:00,925 --> 00:10:03,120
I told him,
and he didn't believe me.
124
00:10:03,193 --> 00:10:06,492
- What?
- They don't make Sunday.
125
00:10:06,563 --> 00:10:09,999
- Why not?
- Because of God.
126
00:10:14,171 --> 00:10:16,731
So 15 percent of my share...
127
00:10:16,807 --> 00:10:19,207
is 90.
128
00:10:19,276 --> 00:10:21,409
6.90.
129
00:10:24,412 --> 00:10:25,845
Leave seven.
130
00:10:28,850 --> 00:10:30,112
What?
131
00:10:32,087 --> 00:10:34,851
Do I have something on my face?
132
00:10:35,957 --> 00:10:38,152
You're a very attractive person.
133
00:10:40,095 --> 00:10:41,528
Thank you.
134
00:10:41,596 --> 00:10:43,860
Amanda never said
how attractive you were.
135
00:10:43,932 --> 00:10:46,332
Maybe she doesn't think
I'm attractive.
136
00:10:46,401 --> 00:10:50,462
I don't think it's a matter of opinion.
Empirically, you are attractive.
137
00:10:52,407 --> 00:10:55,001
Amanda is my friend.
138
00:10:55,076 --> 00:10:56,600
So?
139
00:10:56,678 --> 00:10:59,442
- So you're going with her.
- So?
140
00:10:59,514 --> 00:11:01,812
So you're coming on to me.
141
00:11:01,883 --> 00:11:03,510
No, I wasn't.
142
00:11:04,953 --> 00:11:07,114
What?
143
00:11:07,189 --> 00:11:11,523
Can't a man say a woman is attractive
without it being a come-on?
144
00:11:11,593 --> 00:11:13,117
All right, all right.
145
00:11:13,195 --> 00:11:17,962
Let's just say, just for the sake
of argument, that it was a come-on.
146
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:22,026
What do you want me to do about it?
I take it back, okay?
147
00:11:22,103 --> 00:11:24,503
- You can't take it back.
- Why not?
148
00:11:24,573 --> 00:11:26,404
Because it's already out there.
149
00:11:26,474 --> 00:11:29,966
Geez, what are we supposed to do?
Call the cops. It's already out there.
150
00:11:30,045 --> 00:11:32,741
Just let it lie.
151
00:11:34,449 --> 00:11:36,212
Great. Let it lie.
152
00:11:36,284 --> 00:11:38,479
That's my policy.
153
00:11:38,553 --> 00:11:41,317
That's what I always say:
Let it lie.
154
00:11:41,389 --> 00:11:45,325
Wanna spend the night in a motel?
See what I did? I didn't let it lie.
155
00:11:45,393 --> 00:11:49,159
I said I would, and then I didn't.
I went the other way. What?
156
00:11:49,231 --> 00:11:51,927
We are just going
to be friends, okay?
157
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,560
Great. Friends.
It's the best thing.
158
00:11:55,904 --> 00:11:58,566
You realize that we
could never be friends.
159
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,073
Why not?
160
00:12:00,141 --> 00:12:04,578
What I'm saying is...
and this is not a come-on in any way...
161
00:12:04,646 --> 00:12:09,583
men and women can't be friends because
the sex part always gets in the way.
162
00:12:11,253 --> 00:12:12,686
That's not true.
163
00:12:12,754 --> 00:12:15,723
I have a number of men friends,
and there is no sex involved.
164
00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:17,951
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.
165
00:12:18,026 --> 00:12:19,789
You only think you do.
166
00:12:19,861 --> 00:12:22,295
You're saying I'm having sex
with these men without my knowledge?
167
00:12:22,364 --> 00:12:25,390
What I'm saying is,
they all want to have sex with you.
168
00:12:25,467 --> 00:12:28,868
- They do not.
- Do too.
169
00:12:28,937 --> 00:12:30,370
How do you know?
170
00:12:30,438 --> 00:12:33,373
Because no man can be friends
with a woman that he finds attractive.
171
00:12:33,441 --> 00:12:35,534
He always wants
to have sex with her.
172
00:12:36,645 --> 00:12:40,672
So you're saying a man can be friends
with a woman he finds unattractive.
173
00:12:40,749 --> 00:12:43,877
No. You pretty much
want to nail them too.
174
00:12:45,287 --> 00:12:47,619
What if they don't want
to have sex with you?
175
00:12:47,689 --> 00:12:50,157
Doesn't matter, because the sex thing
is already out there...
176
00:12:50,225 --> 00:12:53,251
so the friendship is ultimately doomed,
and that's the end of the story.
177
00:12:53,328 --> 00:12:56,820
- I guess we're not gonna be friends.
- Guess not.
178
00:12:56,898 --> 00:12:58,923
That's too bad.
179
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,094
You were the only person
that I knew in New York.
180
00:13:40,775 --> 00:13:44,438
- Thanks for the ride.
- Yeah. It was interesting.
181
00:13:44,512 --> 00:13:46,878
- It was nice knowing you.
- Yeah.
182
00:13:56,691 --> 00:13:58,454
Well, have a nice life.
183
00:13:59,194 --> 00:14:00,684
You too.
184
00:14:18,113 --> 00:14:20,138
We fell in love in high school.
185
00:14:20,215 --> 00:14:22,376
Yeah, we were high school sweethearts.
186
00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:25,817
But then after our junior year,
his parents moved away.
187
00:14:25,887 --> 00:14:28,151
But I never forgot her.
188
00:14:28,223 --> 00:14:29,986
He never forgot me.
189
00:14:30,058 --> 00:14:33,494
Her face was burned on my brain.
190
00:14:33,561 --> 00:14:37,190
It was 34 years later
that I was walking down Broadway...
191
00:14:37,265 --> 00:14:39,699
and I saw her
come out of Toffenetti's.
192
00:14:39,768 --> 00:14:41,702
We both looked at each other...
193
00:14:41,770 --> 00:14:46,036
and it was just as though
not a single day had gone by.
194
00:14:46,107 --> 00:14:50,043
She was just as beautiful
as she was at 16.
195
00:14:50,111 --> 00:14:52,443
He was just the same.
196
00:14:52,514 --> 00:14:54,778
He looked exactly the same.
197
00:15:27,148 --> 00:15:30,311
Joe! I thought it was you.
198
00:15:30,385 --> 00:15:32,478
- Harry Burns.
- Harry, how're you doin'?
199
00:15:32,554 --> 00:15:35,717
- Good. How're you doing?
- Fine. I'm doing fine.
200
00:15:35,790 --> 00:15:38,384
I thought it was you.
And here it is, it's you.
201
00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:41,122
- Yeah, it was.
- Still with the D.A.'s office?
202
00:15:41,196 --> 00:15:44,165
No. I switched to the other side.
What about you?
203
00:15:44,232 --> 00:15:47,099
I'm working with a small firm.
We do political consulting.
204
00:15:47,168 --> 00:15:48,601
Yeah, it's great.
205
00:15:50,038 --> 00:15:53,405
Harry, this is Sally Albright.
Harry Burns.
206
00:15:53,475 --> 00:15:55,909
Harry and I lived
in the same building.
207
00:16:00,348 --> 00:16:02,714
I got a plane to catch.
It was good to see you.
208
00:16:02,784 --> 00:16:04,251
- You too.
- Bye.
209
00:16:10,492 --> 00:16:12,426
Thank God he couldn't place me.
210
00:16:12,494 --> 00:16:14,928
I drove from college to New York
with him five years ago...
211
00:16:14,996 --> 00:16:17,931
and it was the longest night
of my life.
212
00:16:19,033 --> 00:16:20,466
What happened?
213
00:16:20,535 --> 00:16:22,799
He made a pass at me,
and when I said no...
214
00:16:22,871 --> 00:16:26,170
He was going with
a girlfriend of mine...
215
00:16:26,241 --> 00:16:29,506
Oh, God,
I can't remember her name.
216
00:16:29,577 --> 00:16:31,272
Don't get involved with me.
217
00:16:31,346 --> 00:16:34,975
I'm 26, and I can't remember the name
of the girl I was good friends with...
218
00:16:35,049 --> 00:16:36,983
I wouldn't get involved
with her boyfriend.
219
00:16:37,051 --> 00:16:39,144
So what happened?
220
00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:41,984
- When?
- When he made a pass at you?
221
00:16:43,358 --> 00:16:45,792
I said we could just be friends.
222
00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:48,294
And this part I remember.
He said that men and women...
223
00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:50,297
could never really be friends.
224
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:53,327
Do you think that's true?
225
00:16:56,070 --> 00:16:58,903
Do you have any women friends?
Just friends?
226
00:17:01,209 --> 00:17:04,303
But I will get one
if it's important to you.
227
00:17:06,147 --> 00:17:08,240
Amanda Reese.
228
00:17:08,316 --> 00:17:10,750
That was her name.
Thank God!
229
00:17:10,818 --> 00:17:12,410
I will miss you.
230
00:17:12,487 --> 00:17:14,421
I love you.
231
00:17:14,489 --> 00:17:16,354
You do?
232
00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:18,490
Yes.
233
00:17:19,727 --> 00:17:21,319
I love you.
234
00:17:45,286 --> 00:17:46,719
What would you like to drink?
235
00:17:46,788 --> 00:17:49,416
- Nothing, thanks.
- Do you have any Bloody Mary mix?
236
00:17:49,490 --> 00:17:52,789
- Yes.
- No, wait. Here's what I want:
237
00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:55,294
Regular tomato juice
filled up about three-quarters.
238
00:17:55,363 --> 00:17:57,957
Then add just a splash
of Bloody Mary mix...
239
00:17:58,032 --> 00:18:00,125
and a piece of lime
on the side.
240
00:18:00,201 --> 00:18:02,192
The University of Chicago, right?
241
00:18:03,538 --> 00:18:04,800
Yes.
242
00:18:04,872 --> 00:18:07,306
Did you look this good
at the University of Chicago?
243
00:18:07,375 --> 00:18:08,865
- No.
- Did we ever...
244
00:18:12,714 --> 00:18:16,673
We drove from Chicago to New York
together after graduation.
245
00:18:16,751 --> 00:18:20,165
- Would you two like to sit together?
- Great! Thank you.
246
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,735
You were a good friend of...
247
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,303
Amanda's.
248
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,970
I can't believe
you can't remember her name.
249
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,570
What do you mean?
I can remember. Amanda Rice.
250
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:38,242
- Reese.
- Right. What ever happened to her?
251
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:41,081
- I have no idea.
- You have no idea?
252
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:44,919
You were really good friends with her.
We didn't make it because of that.
253
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,890
- You went with her.
- And was it worth it?
254
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,291
The sacrifice for a friend
you don't even keep in touch with?
255
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,488
Harry, you might not believe this...
256
00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:55,966
but I never considered
not sleeping with you a sacrifice.
257
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:59,027
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
258
00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:04,242
- You were going to be a gymnast.
- Ajournalist.
259
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,005
Right. And?
260
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,273
I am a journalist.
I work at The News.
261
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,508
Great. And you're with Joe.
262
00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:12,550
Well, that's great.
263
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:15,519
Great. You're together what,
three weeks?
264
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,449
A month.
How did you know that?
265
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,460
You take someone to the airport,
it's at the beginning of a relationship.
266
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,792
That's why I have never taken
anyone to the airport...
267
00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:26,524
at the beginning of a relationship.
268
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:29,431
- Why?
- Because eventually things move on...
269
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:32,368
and I never wanted anyone
to say to me...
270
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:35,202
"How come you never take me
to the airport anymore?"
271
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,999
It's amazing.
You look like a normal person...
272
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,569
but actually you are
the Angel of Death.
273
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,581
Are you gonna marry him?
274
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,911
We have only known
each other for a month...
275
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,682
and neither one of us
is looking to get married right now.
276
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:52,246
- I'm getting married.
- You are?
277
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:56,190
- You are?
- Yeah.
278
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:57,888
Who is she?
279
00:19:57,963 --> 00:20:01,057
Helen Hillson. She's a lawyer.
She's keeping her name.
280
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:04,394
- You're getting married?
- Yeah.
281
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,738
What's so funny about that?
282
00:20:10,909 --> 00:20:13,173
It's just so optimistic
of you, Harry.
283
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:16,339
You'd be amazed what falling
madly in love can do for you.
284
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:19,907
It's nice to see you
embracing life in this manner.
285
00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:24,046
Plus, you just get to a certain point
where you get tired of the whole thing.
286
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:27,684
- What whole thing?
- The "life of a single guy" thing.
287
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,694
You meet someone.
You have lunch.
288
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,253
You decide you like each other enough
to move on to dinner.
289
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:35,767
You go dancing.
You do the White Man's Overbite.
290
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,530
Go back to her place, have sex,
and when you're finished...
291
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,538
you know what goes
through your mind?
292
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:43,803
"How long do I have to lie here
and hold her before I can go home?
293
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:45,309
Is 30 seconds enough?"
294
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:48,941
That's what you're thinking?
Is that true?
295
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:51,482
Sure. All men think that.
296
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:54,849
How long do you like to be held
afterwards? All night, right?
297
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,353
That's the problem.
298
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:59,391
Somewhere between 30 seconds
and all night is your problem.
299
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,892
- I don't have a problem.
- Yeah, you do.
300
00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:19,702
- Staying over?
- Yes.
301
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:23,270
Would you like to have dinner?
Just friends.
302
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:26,112
I thought you didn't believe
men and women could be friends.
303
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:28,745
- When did I say that?
- On the ride to New York.
304
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:31,153
I never said that.
305
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,248
Yes, that's right.
306
00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:35,259
They can't be friends.
307
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:37,921
Unless both of them are involved
with other people. Then they can.
308
00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:39,930
This is an amendment
to the earlier rule.
309
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:41,590
If they're in relationships...
310
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:45,194
the pressure of
possible involvement is lifted.
311
00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:48,034
That doesn't work either, because then
the person you're involved with...
312
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:49,972
can't understand why
you need to be friends...
313
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,566
with the person
you're just friends with.
314
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:54,737
Like it means something is missing
from the relationship.
315
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:58,078
Then when you say, "Nothing is
missing from the relationship"...
316
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,311
the person you're involved with
accuses you...
317
00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:02,819
of being secretly attracted to
the person you're just friends with...
318
00:22:02,888 --> 00:22:04,480
which you probably are.
319
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:06,148
Who are we kidding?
320
00:22:06,225 --> 00:22:08,489
Which brings us back to the rule
before the amendment:
321
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,324
Men and women can't be friends.
Where does that leave us?
322
00:22:11,396 --> 00:22:12,829
- Harry?
- What?
323
00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:14,388
Good-bye.
324
00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:26,511
I'll just stop walking.
I'll let you go ahead.
325
00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:32,775
We were married 40 years ago.
326
00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:35,115
We were married three years,
we got a divorce.
327
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:38,179
- Then I married Marjorie.
- But first you lived with Barbara.
328
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:41,954
Right. But I didn't marry Barbara.
I married Marjorie.
329
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:45,463
- Then he got a divorce.
- Right. Then I married Katie.
330
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:46,964
Another divorce.
331
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,933
Then a couple of years later
at Eddie Collecio's funeral...
332
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:52,027
I ran into her.
333
00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:55,039
I was with some girl
I don't even remember.
334
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,803
- Roberta.
- Right. Roberta.
335
00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:00,242
But I couldn't take my eyes off you.
336
00:23:00,312 --> 00:23:03,611
I remember I snuck over
to her and I said...
337
00:23:03,682 --> 00:23:05,547
What did I say?
338
00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:07,949
- You said, "What are you doing after?"
- Right.
339
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:11,717
So I ditch Roberta. We go for coffee.
A month later, we're married.
340
00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:15,226
Thirty-five years to the day
after our first marriage.
341
00:23:18,463 --> 00:23:21,728
- I went through his pockets.
- Why do you go through his pockets?
342
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:25,236
You know what I found?
They just bought a dining room table.
343
00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:28,569
He and his wife went out and spent
$ 1,600 on a dining room table.
344
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,575
- Where?
- The point isn't where, Alice.
345
00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:34,009
The point is,
he's never gonna leave her.
346
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:36,377
You've known this for two years.
347
00:23:36,448 --> 00:23:39,042
You're right. You're right.
I know you're right.
348
00:23:39,117 --> 00:23:40,914
Why can't you find someone single?
349
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:44,854
When I was single,
I knew lots of nice single men.
350
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:48,359
- Sally found someone.
- Sally got the last good one.
351
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:49,917
Joe and I broke up.
352
00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:52,020
- When?
- Monday.
353
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:54,622
- You waited three days to tell us?
- Joe's available?
354
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:58,898
Don't you have any feelings about this?
She's obviously upset.
355
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:02,031
I'm not that upset. We've been
growing apart for quite a while.
356
00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:05,076
But you guys were a couple.
You had someone to go places with.
357
00:24:05,143 --> 00:24:07,441
You had a date on national holidays.
358
00:24:07,512 --> 00:24:11,278
I said to myself,
"You deserve more than this. You're 31."
359
00:24:11,350 --> 00:24:15,753
- And the clock is ticking.
- It doesn't tick until you're 36.
360
00:24:15,821 --> 00:24:18,221
God, you're in such great shape.
361
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:22,488
I've had a few days to get used to it,
and I feel okay.
362
00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:24,791
Good. Then you're ready.
363
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,165
- Really, Marie!
- How else do you think you do it?
364
00:24:29,234 --> 00:24:30,667
I've got the perfect guy.
365
00:24:30,736 --> 00:24:33,432
I don't happen to find him attractive,
but you might.
366
00:24:33,505 --> 00:24:35,496
She doesn't have
a problem with chins.
367
00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:39,408
- Marie, I'm not ready yet.
- You just said you were over him.
368
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:42,914
I am over him,
but I'm in a mourning period.
369
00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:46,516
Who is it?
370
00:24:46,585 --> 00:24:48,018
Alex Anderson.
371
00:24:49,354 --> 00:24:52,050
You fixed me up
with him six years ago.
372
00:24:52,124 --> 00:24:53,614
Sorry.
373
00:24:53,692 --> 00:24:55,956
God. All right. Wait. Here.
374
00:24:56,028 --> 00:24:58,155
Here we go. Ken Darman.
375
00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:00,926
He's been married for over a year.
376
00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:03,024
Really?
377
00:25:03,101 --> 00:25:05,467
Married.
378
00:25:05,537 --> 00:25:07,801
- Oh, wait. Wait. I got one.
- Look.
379
00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:10,808
There is no point in my going out
with someone I might really like...
380
00:25:10,876 --> 00:25:13,709
if I met him at the right time
but who right now has no chance...
381
00:25:13,779 --> 00:25:16,976
of being anything to me
but a transitional man.
382
00:25:17,049 --> 00:25:18,914
But don't wait too long.
383
00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:20,952
Remember what happened
with David Warsaw?
384
00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:23,852
His wife left him, and everyone said,
"Give him some time.
385
00:25:23,922 --> 00:25:25,890
Don't move in too fast."
386
00:25:25,957 --> 00:25:28,391
Six months later, he was dead.
387
00:25:28,460 --> 00:25:32,294
You're saying I should get married
right away in case he's about to die?
388
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,491
At least you could say
you were married.
389
00:25:34,566 --> 00:25:37,831
I'm saying that the right man for you
might be out there right now.
390
00:25:37,903 --> 00:25:40,167
If you don't grab him,
someone else will.
391
00:25:40,238 --> 00:25:43,002
You'll spend the rest of your life
knowing that someone else...
392
00:25:43,075 --> 00:25:44,906
is married to your husband.
393
00:26:06,031 --> 00:26:07,623
When did this happen?
394
00:26:07,699 --> 00:26:11,157
Friday. Helen comes home from work,
and she says...
395
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,898
"I don't know if I want
to be married anymore."
396
00:26:13,972 --> 00:26:16,406
Like it's the institution.
Like it's nothing personal...
397
00:26:16,475 --> 00:26:19,376
just something she's been thinking
about in a casual way.
398
00:26:19,444 --> 00:26:21,207
I'm calm. I say...
399
00:26:21,279 --> 00:26:24,112
"Why don't we take some time and think
about it? Don't rush into anything."
400
00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:25,479
Right.
401
00:26:25,550 --> 00:26:28,801
Next day, she says she's thought about
it and she wants a trial separation.
402
00:26:28,935 --> 00:26:31,961
She just wants to try it,
she says, but we can still date.
403
00:26:32,038 --> 00:26:34,029
Like this is supposed
to cushion the blow.
404
00:26:34,107 --> 00:26:36,075
I got married
so I could stop dating.
405
00:26:36,142 --> 00:26:38,303
I don't see where dating
is any incentive...
406
00:26:38,378 --> 00:26:40,642
since the last thing you want to do
is date your wife...
407
00:26:40,713 --> 00:26:43,147
who's supposed to love you,
which is what I'm saying to her...
408
00:26:43,216 --> 00:26:45,878
when it occurs to me
that maybe she doesn't.
409
00:26:45,952 --> 00:26:48,785
So I say to her,
"Don't you love me anymore?"
410
00:26:48,855 --> 00:26:51,949
Do you know what she says?
"I don't know if I've ever loved you."
411
00:26:52,025 --> 00:26:53,458
That's harsh.
412
00:26:54,794 --> 00:26:57,558
- You don't recover from that right away.
- Thanks, Jess.
413
00:26:57,630 --> 00:27:01,327
I'm a writer. I know dialogue.
And that's particularly harsh.
414
00:27:01,401 --> 00:27:04,666
Then she tells me that somebody in
her office is going to South America...
415
00:27:04,737 --> 00:27:06,398
and she can sublet his apartment.
416
00:27:06,472 --> 00:27:09,168
I can't believe this.
And the doorbell rings.
417
00:27:09,242 --> 00:27:11,005
"I can sublet his apartment."
418
00:27:11,077 --> 00:27:14,171
The words are still hanging in the air,
like in a balloon attached to a mouth...
419
00:27:14,247 --> 00:27:15,839
- Like in a cartoon.
- Right.
420
00:27:15,915 --> 00:27:18,884
So I go to the door,
and there are moving men there.
421
00:27:18,952 --> 00:27:20,715
Now I start to get suspicious.
422
00:27:20,787 --> 00:27:23,153
I say, "When did you call
these movers?"
423
00:27:23,222 --> 00:27:24,814
She doesn't say anything.
424
00:27:24,891 --> 00:27:27,724
I ask the movers, "When did
this woman book you for this gig?"
425
00:27:27,794 --> 00:27:29,887
They're just standing there,
three huge guys...
426
00:27:29,963 --> 00:27:32,955
one of them wearing a T-shirt that says,
"Don't fuck with Mr. Zero."
427
00:27:33,032 --> 00:27:36,729
So I said, "Helen, when did
you make this arrangement?"
428
00:27:36,803 --> 00:27:38,703
She says, "A week ago."
429
00:27:38,771 --> 00:27:41,797
I said, "You've known for a week,
and you didn't tell me?"
430
00:27:41,874 --> 00:27:44,570
And she says,
"I didn't want to ruin your birthday."
431
00:27:47,814 --> 00:27:51,011
Mr. Zero knew you were getting
a divorce a week before you did?
432
00:27:51,084 --> 00:27:53,075
- Mr. Zero knew.
- I can't believe this.
433
00:27:53,152 --> 00:27:56,679
- I haven't told you the bad part yet.
- What's worse than Mr. Zero knowing?
434
00:27:57,523 --> 00:28:00,048
It's all a lie.
435
00:28:00,126 --> 00:28:02,151
She's in love with somebody else.
436
00:28:02,228 --> 00:28:05,686
Some tax attorney.
She moved in with him.
437
00:28:05,765 --> 00:28:08,529
How did you find out?
438
00:28:08,601 --> 00:28:11,001
I followed her.
I stood outside the building.
439
00:28:11,070 --> 00:28:13,800
- So humiliating.
- Tell me about it.
440
00:28:13,873 --> 00:28:15,568
And, you know, I knew.
441
00:28:15,642 --> 00:28:18,543
I knew the whole time that even though
we were happy it was just an illusion...
442
00:28:18,611 --> 00:28:21,045
and that one day
she would kick the shit out of me.
443
00:28:21,114 --> 00:28:23,878
Marriages don't break up
on account of infidelity.
444
00:28:23,950 --> 00:28:26,475
It's just a symptom
that something else is wrong.
445
00:28:26,552 --> 00:28:29,749
Oh, really?
Well, that symptom is fucking my wife.
446
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:38,119
So I just happened to see
his American Express bill.
447
00:28:38,197 --> 00:28:40,722
What do you mean
you "just happened to see it"?
448
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,861
He was shaving,
and there it was in his briefcase.
449
00:28:44,937 --> 00:28:47,804
What if he came out and saw you
looking through his briefcase?
450
00:28:47,874 --> 00:28:50,570
You're missing the point.
I'm telling you what I found.
451
00:28:50,643 --> 00:28:55,478
He just spent $ 120
on a new nightgown for his wife.
452
00:28:56,983 --> 00:28:59,076
I don't think
he's ever gonna leave her.
453
00:28:59,152 --> 00:29:01,848
No one thinks
he's ever gonna leave her.
454
00:29:01,921 --> 00:29:04,549
You're right. You're right.
I know you're right.
455
00:29:20,273 --> 00:29:23,538
Someone is staring at you
in Personal Growth.
456
00:29:26,446 --> 00:29:27,879
I know him.
457
00:29:27,947 --> 00:29:30,780
You'd like him.
He's married.
458
00:29:30,850 --> 00:29:32,283
Who is he?
459
00:29:32,351 --> 00:29:35,013
Harry Burns.
He's a political consultant.
460
00:29:35,088 --> 00:29:36,953
He's cute.
461
00:29:37,023 --> 00:29:40,390
- You think he's cute?
- How do you know he's married?
462
00:29:40,460 --> 00:29:42,792
'Cause last time I saw him
he was getting married.
463
00:29:42,862 --> 00:29:45,797
- When was that?
- Six years ago.
464
00:29:45,865 --> 00:29:49,130
So he might not
be married anymore.
465
00:29:49,202 --> 00:29:50,692
Also, he's obnoxious.
466
00:29:50,770 --> 00:29:52,795
This is just like in the movies...
467
00:29:52,872 --> 00:29:55,705
in The Lady Vanishes when she says,
"You're the most obnoxious man..."
468
00:29:55,775 --> 00:29:58,744
- "The most contemptible."
- Then they fall madly in love.
469
00:29:58,811 --> 00:30:01,302
- Also, he never remembers me.
- Sally Albright.
470
00:30:04,217 --> 00:30:06,310
- Hi, Harry.
- I thought it was you.
471
00:30:06,385 --> 00:30:09,115
It is. This is Marie.
472
00:30:10,623 --> 00:30:13,319
- Was Marie.
- How are you?
473
00:30:13,392 --> 00:30:15,986
- Fine.
- How's Joe?
474
00:30:16,062 --> 00:30:18,826
Fine. I hear he's fine.
475
00:30:19,899 --> 00:30:21,457
You're not with Joe anymore?
476
00:30:21,534 --> 00:30:23,161
We just broke up.
477
00:30:24,704 --> 00:30:27,002
I'm sorry.
That's too bad.
478
00:30:27,974 --> 00:30:30,408
Yeah. Well, you know.
479
00:30:30,476 --> 00:30:32,137
Yeah.
480
00:30:32,211 --> 00:30:35,078
So, what about you?
481
00:30:35,148 --> 00:30:37,514
- I'm fine.
- How's married life?
482
00:30:39,519 --> 00:30:42,613
Not so good.
I'm getting a divorce.
483
00:30:42,688 --> 00:30:44,781
Oh, I'm sorry.
484
00:30:44,857 --> 00:30:46,620
I'm really sorry.
485
00:30:46,692 --> 00:30:50,025
Yeah. Well, what are you gonna do?
486
00:30:50,096 --> 00:30:51,859
What happened with you guys?
487
00:30:51,931 --> 00:30:55,833
When Joe and I started seeing each
other, we wanted exactly the same thing.
488
00:30:55,902 --> 00:30:58,735
We wanted to live together
but not get married...
489
00:30:58,805 --> 00:31:02,138
because every time anyone we knew got
married, it ruined their relationship.
490
00:31:02,208 --> 00:31:04,369
They practically never
had sex again.
491
00:31:04,443 --> 00:31:05,876
It's true.
492
00:31:05,945 --> 00:31:08,641
It's one of the secrets
that no one ever tells you.
493
00:31:08,714 --> 00:31:11,649
I would sit around
with my girlfriends who have kids...
494
00:31:11,717 --> 00:31:14,413
Actually, my one girlfriend
who has kids... Alice.
495
00:31:14,487 --> 00:31:18,583
She would complain how she and Gary
never did it anymore.
496
00:31:18,658 --> 00:31:22,150
She didn't even complain about it.
She just said it matter-of-factly.
497
00:31:22,228 --> 00:31:25,720
She said they were up all night,
they were both exhausted all the time...
498
00:31:25,798 --> 00:31:29,063
the kids just took every
sexual impulse they had out of them.
499
00:31:31,304 --> 00:31:34,171
Joe and I used to say
we're so lucky.
500
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,174
We have this wonderful relationship.
501
00:31:36,242 --> 00:31:40,474
We can have sex on the kitchen floor
and not worry about the kids walking in.
502
00:31:40,546 --> 00:31:44,414
We can fly off to Rome
on a moment's notice.
503
00:31:45,551 --> 00:31:48,918
Then one day I was taking Alice's
little girl for the afternoon...
504
00:31:48,988 --> 00:31:50,922
because I promised
to take her to the circus.
505
00:31:50,990 --> 00:31:54,619
And we were in the cab
playing "I Spy."
506
00:31:54,694 --> 00:31:57,857
"I spy a mailbox.
I spy a lamp post."
507
00:31:57,930 --> 00:32:01,366
And she looked out the window
and saw this man and this woman...
508
00:32:01,434 --> 00:32:03,129
with these two little kids...
509
00:32:03,202 --> 00:32:05,966
and the man had one of the kids
on his shoulders.
510
00:32:06,038 --> 00:32:09,565
And she said,
"I spy a family."
511
00:32:10,710 --> 00:32:12,803
And I started to cry.
512
00:32:12,879 --> 00:32:14,972
You know, I just started crying.
513
00:32:16,482 --> 00:32:18,473
I went home, and I said...
514
00:32:18,551 --> 00:32:22,510
"The thing is, Joe, we never do fly off
to Rome on a moment's notice."
515
00:32:22,588 --> 00:32:24,453
And the kitchen floor?
516
00:32:24,523 --> 00:32:26,218
Not once.
517
00:32:26,292 --> 00:32:29,784
It's this very cold, hard
Mexican ceramic tile.
518
00:32:31,497 --> 00:32:35,160
Anyway, we talked about it
for a long time...
519
00:32:35,234 --> 00:32:37,168
and I said, "This is what I want."
520
00:32:37,236 --> 00:32:39,227
And he said, "Well, I don't."
521
00:32:39,305 --> 00:32:43,071
And I said, "Well, I guess it's over."
And he left.
522
00:32:45,578 --> 00:32:49,446
And the thing is,
I feel really fine.
523
00:32:49,515 --> 00:32:52,712
I am over him.
I mean, I really am over him.
524
00:32:52,785 --> 00:32:56,152
That was it for him.
That was the most that he could give.
525
00:32:56,222 --> 00:33:00,659
And every time I think about it, I am
more convinced I did the right thing.
526
00:33:00,726 --> 00:33:03,251
Boy, you sound really healthy.
527
00:33:03,329 --> 00:33:05,661
Yeah.
528
00:33:05,731 --> 00:33:09,497
- At least I got the apartment.
- That's what everybody says to me too.
529
00:33:09,568 --> 00:33:12,128
But, really, what's so hard
about finding an apartment?
530
00:33:12,204 --> 00:33:14,638
What you do is you read
the obituary column.
531
00:33:14,707 --> 00:33:18,074
You find out who died,
go to the building and tip the doorman.
532
00:33:18,144 --> 00:33:20,806
What they could do to make it easier
is combine the obituaries...
533
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,745
with the real estate section.
534
00:33:22,815 --> 00:33:25,648
Then you have, "Mr. Klein died today,
leaving a wife, two children...
535
00:33:25,718 --> 00:33:29,313
and a spacious three-bedroom apartment
with a wood-burning fireplace."
536
00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:36,151
The first time we met,
I really didn't like you that much.
537
00:33:36,228 --> 00:33:38,219
- I didn't like you.
- Yeah, you did.
538
00:33:38,297 --> 00:33:41,494
You were just so uptight then.
You're much softer now.
539
00:33:41,567 --> 00:33:43,501
I hate that kind of remark.
540
00:33:43,569 --> 00:33:46,003
It sounds like a compliment,
but really it's an insult.
541
00:33:46,072 --> 00:33:48,233
Okay, you're still as hard as nails.
542
00:33:48,307 --> 00:33:50,673
I just didn't want to sleep with you,
and you had to write it off...
543
00:33:50,743 --> 00:33:53,177
as a character flaw instead of
dealing with the possibility...
544
00:33:53,245 --> 00:33:56,180
that it might have something
to do with you.
545
00:33:57,416 --> 00:34:00,442
What's the statute of limitations
on apologies?
546
00:34:02,088 --> 00:34:05,683
- Ten years.
- I can just get it in under the wire.
547
00:34:10,463 --> 00:34:12,914
Would you like to have dinner
with me sometime?
548
00:34:13,315 --> 00:34:15,806
Are we becoming friends now?
549
00:34:17,252 --> 00:34:18,685
Well...
550
00:34:20,155 --> 00:34:21,588
yeah.
551
00:34:23,225 --> 00:34:25,591
Great. A woman friend.
552
00:34:26,695 --> 00:34:28,925
You may be the first
attractive woman...
553
00:34:28,997 --> 00:34:32,091
I have not wanted to sleep with
in my entire life.
554
00:34:32,167 --> 00:34:33,930
That's wonderful, Harry.
555
00:34:35,737 --> 00:34:39,070
- We were both born in the same hospital.
- In 1921.
556
00:34:39,141 --> 00:34:41,837
- Seven days apart.
- In the same hospital.
557
00:34:41,910 --> 00:34:45,004
- We lived a block away from each other.
- We both lived in tenements.
558
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,844
- On the Lower East Side.
- On Delancey Street.
559
00:34:47,916 --> 00:34:50,851
My family moved
to the Bronx when I was ten.
560
00:34:50,919 --> 00:34:54,355
- Hers moved when she was 11.
- I lived on 183rd Street.
561
00:34:54,423 --> 00:34:58,291
- She worked on the 15th floor...
- I worked for a prominent neurologist.
562
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:02,956
As a nurse where I had a practice
on the 14th floor of the same building.
563
00:35:03,031 --> 00:35:05,329
- We never met.
- Never met.
564
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:06,992
Can you imagine that?
565
00:35:07,069 --> 00:35:08,832
You know where we met?
566
00:35:08,904 --> 00:35:10,838
- In an elevator...
- I was visiting family.
567
00:35:10,906 --> 00:35:13,739
- In the Ambassador Hotel in Chicago.
- He was on the third floor.
568
00:35:13,809 --> 00:35:15,401
I was on the 12th.
569
00:35:15,477 --> 00:35:18,742
I rode up nine extra floors
just to keep talking to her.
570
00:35:18,814 --> 00:35:20,805
Nine extra floors.
571
00:35:31,393 --> 00:35:34,089
- Hello.
- You sleeping?
572
00:35:34,162 --> 00:35:35,925
No, I was watching Casablanca.
573
00:35:35,997 --> 00:35:37,521
- Channel, please.
- Eleven.
574
00:35:37,599 --> 00:35:39,760
Thank you. Got it.
575
00:35:39,835 --> 00:35:43,931
You're telling me you would be happier
with Victor Laszlo than with Bogart?
576
00:35:44,005 --> 00:35:46,269
- When did I say that?
- When we drove to New York.
577
00:35:47,342 --> 00:35:49,469
I would never have said that.
578
00:35:49,544 --> 00:35:51,774
All right, fine.
Have it your way.
579
00:35:53,615 --> 00:35:55,708
- Have you been sleeping?
- Why?
580
00:35:55,784 --> 00:35:57,615
'Cause I haven't been sleeping.
581
00:35:57,686 --> 00:35:59,711
I really miss Helen.
582
00:36:01,123 --> 00:36:03,057
Maybe I'm coming down
with something.
583
00:36:03,125 --> 00:36:06,526
Last night I was up at 4... 00 a.m.
Watching Leave It To Beaver in Spanish.
584
00:36:10,398 --> 00:36:11,831
I'm not well.
585
00:36:11,900 --> 00:36:15,836
I went to bed at 7... 30 last night.
I haven't done that since the 3rd grade.
586
00:36:15,904 --> 00:36:19,169
That's the good thing about depression.
You get your rest.
587
00:36:19,241 --> 00:36:22,301
- I'm not depressed.
- Okay, fine.
588
00:36:22,377 --> 00:36:25,312
Do you still sleep
on the same side of the bed?
589
00:36:25,380 --> 00:36:28,213
I did for a while, but now I'm
pretty much using the whole bed.
590
00:36:28,283 --> 00:36:29,978
God, that's great.
591
00:36:30,051 --> 00:36:33,111
I feel weird when
just my leg wanders over.
592
00:36:33,955 --> 00:36:36,048
I miss her.
593
00:36:36,124 --> 00:36:39,719
- I don't miss him. I really don't.
- Not even a little?
594
00:36:39,795 --> 00:36:41,763
You know what I miss?
595
00:36:41,830 --> 00:36:44,321
I miss the idea of him.
596
00:36:46,001 --> 00:36:49,129
Maybe I only miss
the idea of Helen.
597
00:36:49,204 --> 00:36:51,195
No, I miss the whole Helen.
598
00:36:55,110 --> 00:36:56,805
Last scene.
599
00:37:00,015 --> 00:37:03,542
Good-bye, Rick.
I will miss you.
600
00:37:03,618 --> 00:37:05,210
Ooh, Ingrid Bergman.
601
00:37:05,287 --> 00:37:07,812
- Now, she's low maintenance.
- Low maintenance?
602
00:37:07,889 --> 00:37:11,416
There are two kinds of women...
high maintenance and low maintenance.
603
00:37:11,493 --> 00:37:14,053
And Ingrid Bergman
is low maintenance?
604
00:37:14,129 --> 00:37:15,892
An LM, definitely.
605
00:37:15,964 --> 00:37:18,398
- Which one am I?
- You're the worst kind.
606
00:37:18,466 --> 00:37:21,162
You're high maintenance,
but you think you're low maintenance.
607
00:37:21,236 --> 00:37:23,670
- I don't see that.
- You don't see that?
608
00:37:23,738 --> 00:37:26,639
"Waiter, I'll begin with the house salad
but I don't want the regular dressing.
609
00:37:26,708 --> 00:37:29,233
I'll have the Balsamic vinegar and oil
but on the side.
610
00:37:29,311 --> 00:37:32,678
And then the salmon with the mustard
sauce, but the sauce on the side."
611
00:37:32,747 --> 00:37:35,011
"On the side" is
a very big thing for you.
612
00:37:35,083 --> 00:37:38,780
- I just want it the way I want it.
- I know. High maintenance.
613
00:37:38,854 --> 00:37:42,119
10,000 francs
should pay our expenses.
614
00:37:42,190 --> 00:37:44,215
"Our" expenses?
615
00:37:44,292 --> 00:37:48,820
Louis, I think this is the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
616
00:37:49,998 --> 00:37:53,399
Best last line of a movie ever.
617
00:37:56,238 --> 00:37:58,502
I'm definitely
coming down with something.
618
00:37:58,573 --> 00:38:01,007
Probably a 24-hour tumor.
They're going around.
619
00:38:01,076 --> 00:38:03,067
- You don't have a tumor.
- How do you know?
620
00:38:03,144 --> 00:38:05,442
If you're so worried,
see a doctor.
621
00:38:05,513 --> 00:38:08,107
He'll just tell me it's nothing.
622
00:38:08,183 --> 00:38:11,118
- Will you be able to sleep?
- If not, I'll be okay.
623
00:38:11,186 --> 00:38:14,349
- What'll you do?
- I'll stay up and moan.
624
00:38:14,422 --> 00:38:16,356
Maybe I should practice now.
625
00:38:22,597 --> 00:38:24,189
Good night, Harry.
626
00:38:25,367 --> 00:38:26,891
Good night.
627
00:39:03,104 --> 00:39:07,268
Had my dream again where I'm making love
and the Olympic judges are watching.
628
00:39:07,342 --> 00:39:10,106
I'd nailed the compulsories.
So this is it, the finals.
629
00:39:10,178 --> 00:39:13,773
I got a 9.8 from the Canadian,
a perfect 10 from the American...
630
00:39:13,848 --> 00:39:17,375
and my mother, disguised as
an East German judge, gave me a 5.6.
631
00:39:17,452 --> 00:39:19,818
Must have been the dismount.
632
00:39:19,888 --> 00:39:23,221
Basically, it's the same one
I've been having since I was 12.
633
00:39:23,291 --> 00:39:26,158
- What happens?
- No, it's too embarrassing.
634
00:39:26,227 --> 00:39:28,718
- Don't tell me.
- Okay, there's this guy.
635
00:39:28,797 --> 00:39:30,822
- What's he look like?
- I don't know.
636
00:39:30,899 --> 00:39:34,164
- He's just kind of faceless.
- Faceless guy. Then what?
637
00:39:35,804 --> 00:39:37,965
He rips off my clothes.
638
00:39:38,039 --> 00:39:39,904
Then what happens?
639
00:39:39,975 --> 00:39:41,465
That's it.
640
00:39:42,577 --> 00:39:44,010
That's it?
641
00:39:44,079 --> 00:39:46,047
A faceless guy
rips off your clothes...
642
00:39:46,114 --> 00:39:48,742
and that's the sex fantasy
you've been having since you were 12?
643
00:39:48,817 --> 00:39:50,250
Exactly the same?
644
00:39:50,318 --> 00:39:53,082
Well, sometimes I vary it a little.
645
00:39:53,154 --> 00:39:55,679
- Which part?
- What I'm wearing.
646
00:40:00,862 --> 00:40:02,762
- What?
- Nothing.
647
00:40:05,233 --> 00:40:08,430
I have decided
that for the rest of the day...
648
00:40:08,503 --> 00:40:11,336
we are going to talk like this.
649
00:40:11,406 --> 00:40:12,839
- Like this?
- No.
650
00:40:12,907 --> 00:40:14,898
Please to repeat after me.
651
00:40:14,976 --> 00:40:16,671
Pepper.
652
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:23,210
Waiter, there is too much pepper
on my paprikash.
653
00:40:24,019 --> 00:40:25,953
Waiter, there is too much pepper...
654
00:40:26,021 --> 00:40:28,319
On my paprikash.
655
00:40:28,390 --> 00:40:31,359
But I would be proud
to partake of your pecan pie.
656
00:40:33,762 --> 00:40:35,525
But I would be proud...
657
00:40:35,597 --> 00:40:37,030
to partake...
658
00:40:37,098 --> 00:40:40,226
of your pecan pie.
659
00:40:40,301 --> 00:40:41,962
Pecan pie.
660
00:40:45,774 --> 00:40:49,369
Would you like to go
to the movies with me tonight?
661
00:40:49,444 --> 00:40:51,878
Not to repeat.
Please, to answer.
662
00:40:51,946 --> 00:40:55,382
Would you like to go to the movies
with me tonight?
663
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,653
I'd love to, but I can't.
664
00:40:59,721 --> 00:41:02,849
What, do you have a hot date?
665
00:41:02,924 --> 00:41:04,858
Well, yeah. Yeah.
666
00:41:04,926 --> 00:41:06,257
Really?
667
00:41:06,327 --> 00:41:09,888
I was going to tell you about it,
but I felt strange about it.
668
00:41:09,964 --> 00:41:12,455
- Why?
- Because we've been together a lot.
669
00:41:12,534 --> 00:41:14,695
I think it's great you have a date.
670
00:41:14,769 --> 00:41:16,794
- You do?
- Yeah.
671
00:41:23,678 --> 00:41:26,112
- Is that what you're gonna wear?
- Yeah.
672
00:41:27,115 --> 00:41:30,209
Well, I don't know. Why?
673
00:41:30,285 --> 00:41:34,346
I think you should wear skirts more.
You look really good in skirts.
674
00:41:34,422 --> 00:41:37,050
- I do?
- Yeah.
675
00:41:38,359 --> 00:41:40,293
I have a theory
that hieroglyphics...
676
00:41:40,361 --> 00:41:43,558
are really an ancient comic strip
about a character named Sphinxy.
677
00:41:43,631 --> 00:41:45,565
You should get out there too.
678
00:41:45,633 --> 00:41:48,397
- Oh, I'm not ready.
- You should.
679
00:41:48,470 --> 00:41:51,030
I would not be good
for anybody right now.
680
00:41:51,106 --> 00:41:52,903
It's time.
681
00:41:52,974 --> 00:41:56,307
It was the most uncomfortable
night of my life.
682
00:41:56,377 --> 00:41:59,471
See, now, it has to go this way.
683
00:41:59,547 --> 00:42:02,573
The first date back
is always the toughest.
684
00:42:02,650 --> 00:42:04,515
You only had one date.
685
00:42:04,586 --> 00:42:07,180
How do you know
it's not gonna get worse?
686
00:42:07,255 --> 00:42:09,532
How much worse can it get
than finishing dinner...
687
00:42:09,666 --> 00:42:13,602
having him reach over, pull a hair out
of my head and start flossing with it?
688
00:42:13,670 --> 00:42:16,537
We're talking dream date
compared to my horror.
689
00:42:16,606 --> 00:42:20,201
It started out fine.
She's a very nice person.
690
00:42:20,277 --> 00:42:23,906
We're at this Ethiopian restaurant
that she wanted to go to.
691
00:42:23,980 --> 00:42:27,746
I was making jokes like, "I didn't
know they had food in Ethiopia.
692
00:42:27,817 --> 00:42:31,514
This'll be a quick meal. I'll order
two empty plates and we can leave."
693
00:42:31,588 --> 00:42:33,954
Yeah. Nothing from her,
not even a smile.
694
00:42:34,024 --> 00:42:37,016
I downshift into small talk,
and I ask her where she went to school.
695
00:42:37,093 --> 00:42:38,856
She says Michigan State...
696
00:42:38,928 --> 00:42:40,862
and this reminds me of Helen.
697
00:42:40,930 --> 00:42:44,024
All of a sudden I'm in the middle
of this massive anxiety attack.
698
00:42:44,100 --> 00:42:47,035
My heart's beating like a wild man,
and I start sweating like a pig.
699
00:42:47,103 --> 00:42:48,695
Helen went to Michigan State?
700
00:42:48,772 --> 00:42:52,538
No, she went to Northwestern,
but they're both Big Ten schools.
701
00:42:52,609 --> 00:42:55,544
I got so upset,
I had to leave the restaurant.
702
00:42:57,781 --> 00:43:00,477
I think this takes a long time.
703
00:43:00,550 --> 00:43:04,577
It might be months before we're able
to enjoy going out with someone new.
704
00:43:04,654 --> 00:43:05,916
Yeah.
705
00:43:05,989 --> 00:43:09,322
And maybe longer before we're actually
able to go to bed with someone new.
706
00:43:09,392 --> 00:43:11,383
Oh, I went to bed with her.
707
00:43:12,896 --> 00:43:15,330
- You went to bed with her?
- Sure.
708
00:43:21,738 --> 00:43:23,501
I don't understand this relationship.
709
00:43:23,573 --> 00:43:25,006
What do you mean?
710
00:43:25,075 --> 00:43:27,009
- Do you enjoy being with her?
- Yeah.
711
00:43:27,077 --> 00:43:29,011
- Do you find her attractive?
- Yeah.
712
00:43:29,079 --> 00:43:31,240
- And you're not sleeping with her?
- No.
713
00:43:31,314 --> 00:43:33,612
You're afraid
to let yourself be happy.
714
00:43:33,683 --> 00:43:37,175
Why can't you give me credit for this?
This is a big thing for me.
715
00:43:37,253 --> 00:43:39,721
I've never had a relationship
with a woman that didn't involve sex.
716
00:43:39,789 --> 00:43:42,724
- I feel like I'm growing.
- Are you finished?
717
00:43:42,792 --> 00:43:45,226
I got a stack of quarters
and I was here first.
718
00:43:45,295 --> 00:43:47,559
- Were not!
- Was too!
719
00:43:47,630 --> 00:43:49,996
- Big jerk.
- Little creep.
720
00:43:50,066 --> 00:43:52,694
- Where was I?
- You were growing.
721
00:43:52,769 --> 00:43:54,202
Yeah.
722
00:43:54,270 --> 00:43:55,897
It's very freeing.
723
00:43:55,972 --> 00:43:57,906
I can say anything to her.
724
00:43:57,974 --> 00:44:00,943
You can say things to her
you can't say to me?
725
00:44:01,010 --> 00:44:04,377
No, it's just different.
It's a whole different perspective.
726
00:44:04,447 --> 00:44:06,881
I get the woman's
point of view on things.
727
00:44:06,950 --> 00:44:10,545
She tells me about the men she dates,
and I talk to her about the women I see.
728
00:44:10,620 --> 00:44:12,986
- You tell her about other women?
- Yeah.
729
00:44:13,056 --> 00:44:16,492
Like the other night, I made love to
this woman, and it was so incredible...
730
00:44:16,559 --> 00:44:18,493
I took her to a place
that wasn't human.
731
00:44:18,561 --> 00:44:20,324
She actually meowed.
732
00:44:20,397 --> 00:44:22,331
- You made a woman meow?
- Yeah.
733
00:44:22,399 --> 00:44:25,163
That's the point.
I can say these things to her.
734
00:44:25,235 --> 00:44:27,260
And the great thing is,
I don't have to lie...
735
00:44:27,337 --> 00:44:29,601
because I'm not always thinking
about how to get her into bed.
736
00:44:29,672 --> 00:44:31,230
I can just be myself.
737
00:44:31,307 --> 00:44:33,935
You made a woman meow?
738
00:44:35,078 --> 00:44:38,047
What do you do with these women?
You just get out of bed and leave?
739
00:44:38,114 --> 00:44:41,481
- Sure.
- Explain how you do it. What do you say?
740
00:44:41,551 --> 00:44:44,179
I say I have an early meeting,
early haircut, early squash game.
741
00:44:44,254 --> 00:44:48,520
- You don't play squash.
- They don't know that. They just met me.
742
00:44:48,591 --> 00:44:51,185
- That's disgusting.
- I know. I feel terrible.
743
00:44:51,261 --> 00:44:54,128
I'm so glad
I never got involved with you.
744
00:44:54,197 --> 00:44:56,165
I would have ended up
being some woman...
745
00:44:56,232 --> 00:44:59,998
you had to get out of bed and leave
at 3:00 a.m. And clean your andirons.
746
00:45:00,069 --> 00:45:02,902
And you don't even have a fireplace.
Not that I would know this.
747
00:45:02,972 --> 00:45:05,406
Why are you getting upset?
This is not about you.
748
00:45:05,475 --> 00:45:06,806
Yes, it is.
749
00:45:06,876 --> 00:45:09,743
You are a human affront to all women,
and I am a woman.
750
00:45:09,813 --> 00:45:12,680
I don't feel great about this,
but I don't hear anyone complaining.
751
00:45:12,749 --> 00:45:15,240
Of course not.
You're out the door too fast.
752
00:45:15,318 --> 00:45:17,786
I think they have an okay time.
753
00:45:17,854 --> 00:45:21,449
- How do you know?
- What do you mean? I know.
754
00:45:21,524 --> 00:45:23,515
Because they...
755
00:45:23,593 --> 00:45:26,084
Yes, because they...
756
00:45:26,162 --> 00:45:28,653
How do you know
that they're really...
757
00:45:28,731 --> 00:45:31,791
What are you saying?
That they fake orgasm?
758
00:45:31,868 --> 00:45:34,428
- It's possible.
- Get outta here.
759
00:45:34,504 --> 00:45:37,837
Why? Most women, at one time
or another, have faked it.
760
00:45:37,907 --> 00:45:41,172
- They haven't faked it with me.
- How do you know?
761
00:45:42,345 --> 00:45:43,972
Because I know.
762
00:45:47,016 --> 00:45:48,711
Right. That's right.
763
00:45:48,785 --> 00:45:51,185
I forgot.
You're a man.
764
00:45:51,254 --> 00:45:53,552
- What is that supposed to mean?
- Nothing.
765
00:45:53,623 --> 00:45:57,218
All men are sure it never happened
to them, and most women have done it.
766
00:45:57,293 --> 00:45:58,726
You do the math.
767
00:45:58,795 --> 00:46:01,730
You don't think
that I can tell the difference?
768
00:46:03,199 --> 00:46:05,224
Get outta here.
769
00:46:19,282 --> 00:46:21,341
Are you okay?
770
00:46:25,321 --> 00:46:27,312
Oh, God.
771
00:46:28,892 --> 00:46:30,325
Oh, God!
772
00:46:40,236 --> 00:46:42,568
Oh, yeah, right there.
773
00:46:50,513 --> 00:46:51,775
Yes!
774
00:47:24,948 --> 00:47:27,041
I'll have what she's having.
775
00:48:51,067 --> 00:48:53,467
I like you without your beard.
You can see your face.
776
00:48:53,536 --> 00:48:55,629
Yeah, it is my face.
777
00:48:55,705 --> 00:48:57,536
I'm dipping you.
778
00:49:01,044 --> 00:49:03,638
I really want to thank you
for taking me out tonight.
779
00:49:03,713 --> 00:49:07,308
Don't be silly. Next New Year's Eve,
if neither one of us is with anybody...
780
00:49:07,383 --> 00:49:08,816
you got a date.
781
00:49:08,885 --> 00:49:10,375
Deal.
782
00:49:11,721 --> 00:49:13,882
Now we can dance cheek-to-cheek.
783
00:49:40,049 --> 00:49:43,917
Hey, everybody,
ten seconds to New Year!
784
00:49:43,986 --> 00:49:46,352
- Ten, nine, eight...
- Wanna get some air?
785
00:49:46,422 --> 00:49:48,049
- Yeah.
- Seven, six...
786
00:49:48,124 --> 00:49:49,819
five, four...
787
00:49:49,892 --> 00:49:51,883
three, two, one!
788
00:49:51,961 --> 00:49:53,451
Happy New Year!
789
00:50:01,771 --> 00:50:06,435
Should old acquaintance be forgot
790
00:50:06,509 --> 00:50:11,469
And never brought to mind
791
00:50:11,547 --> 00:50:15,347
Should old acquaintance be forgot
792
00:50:15,418 --> 00:50:17,249
Happy New Year.
793
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:22,155
And days of auld lang syne
794
00:50:24,359 --> 00:50:27,260
Well, he was the head counselor
at the boys' camp...
795
00:50:27,328 --> 00:50:30,161
and I was the head counselor
at the girls' camp.
796
00:50:30,231 --> 00:50:34,099
They had a social one night,
and he walked across the room.
797
00:50:34,169 --> 00:50:37,195
I thought he was coming
to talk to my friend Maxine...
798
00:50:37,272 --> 00:50:41,174
'cause people were always
crossing rooms to talk to Maxine.
799
00:50:41,242 --> 00:50:44,109
But he was coming to talk to me,
and he said...
800
00:50:44,179 --> 00:50:47,171
"I'm Ben Small
of the Coney Island Smalls."
801
00:50:47,248 --> 00:50:49,045
At that moment, I knew.
802
00:50:49,117 --> 00:50:51,881
I knew the way you know
about a good melon.
803
00:50:53,788 --> 00:50:56,382
You sent flowers to yourself?
804
00:50:56,458 --> 00:50:59,655
Sixty dollars I spent on this big,
stupid arrangement of flowers...
805
00:50:59,728 --> 00:51:02,162
and I wrote a card that I planned
to leave on the front table...
806
00:51:02,230 --> 00:51:04,494
where Arthur would just
happen to see it.
807
00:51:04,566 --> 00:51:07,000
What did the card say?
808
00:51:07,068 --> 00:51:09,730
"Please say yes.
Love, Jonathan."
809
00:51:09,804 --> 00:51:12,238
- Did it work?
- He never even came over.
810
00:51:12,307 --> 00:51:15,071
He forgot this charity thing
that his wife is chairman of.
811
00:51:15,143 --> 00:51:17,577
- He's never gonna leave her!
- Of course he isn't.
812
00:51:17,645 --> 00:51:20,910
You're right. I know you're right.
Where is this place?
813
00:51:20,982 --> 00:51:23,075
Somewhere in the next block.
814
00:51:23,151 --> 00:51:25,483
I can't believe I'm doing this.
815
00:51:25,553 --> 00:51:29,250
Look, Harry is one of my best friends,
and you are one of my best friends.
816
00:51:29,324 --> 00:51:32,589
If by some chance you two hit it off,
then we can all still be friends...
817
00:51:32,660 --> 00:51:34,093
instead of drifting apart...
818
00:51:34,162 --> 00:51:36,756
like you do when you get involved with
someone who doesn't know your friends.
819
00:51:36,831 --> 00:51:39,766
You and I haven't drifted apart
since I started seeing Arthur.
820
00:51:41,102 --> 00:51:44,765
If Arthur ever left his wife
and I actually met him...
821
00:51:44,839 --> 00:51:48,275
I am sure that you and I
would drift apart.
822
00:51:48,343 --> 00:51:50,436
He's never gonna leave her.
823
00:51:50,512 --> 00:51:52,776
Of course he isn't.
824
00:51:52,847 --> 00:51:55,111
You're right. You're right.
I know you're right.
825
00:51:55,183 --> 00:51:57,708
- I don't know about this.
- It's just a dinner.
826
00:51:57,786 --> 00:51:59,879
I've finally gotten
to a place in my life...
827
00:51:59,954 --> 00:52:02,889
where I'm comfortable with the fact
that it's just me and my work.
828
00:52:02,957 --> 00:52:05,050
If she's so great,
why aren't you taking her out?
829
00:52:05,126 --> 00:52:07,390
How many times do I have to tell you?
We're just friends.
830
00:52:07,462 --> 00:52:10,226
- You're saying she's not attractive?
- I told you she is attractive.
831
00:52:10,298 --> 00:52:12,232
You also said
she had a good personality.
832
00:52:12,300 --> 00:52:14,234
She has a good personality.
833
00:52:16,304 --> 00:52:17,737
What?
834
00:52:17,806 --> 00:52:19,740
When someone's
not that attractive...
835
00:52:19,808 --> 00:52:22,572
they're always described
as having a good personality.
836
00:52:22,644 --> 00:52:25,078
If you had asked me,
"What does she look like?" and I said...
837
00:52:25,146 --> 00:52:27,910
"She has a good personality,"
that means she's not attractive.
838
00:52:27,982 --> 00:52:30,746
But just because I happened to mention
she has a good personality...
839
00:52:30,819 --> 00:52:32,252
she could be either.
840
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:33,912
She could be attractive
with a good personality...
841
00:52:33,988 --> 00:52:35,853
or not attractive
with a good personality.
842
00:52:35,924 --> 00:52:37,915
- So which one is she?
- Attractive.
843
00:52:37,992 --> 00:52:39,926
But not beautiful, right?
844
00:52:42,797 --> 00:52:45,163
It's like whenever
I read Jimmy Breslin...
845
00:52:45,233 --> 00:52:48,168
it's as if he's leaving
a kind of a wake-up call...
846
00:52:48,236 --> 00:52:50,500
for the City of New York.
847
00:52:50,572 --> 00:52:52,870
What do you mean
by a wake-up call?
848
00:52:52,941 --> 00:52:55,375
He's saying
the people in the city...
849
00:52:57,178 --> 00:53:00,272
- An art director.
- Would I have seen any of your windows?
850
00:53:00,348 --> 00:53:04,444
At Barney's a couple of weeks ago
I did a thing with hostages.
851
00:53:04,519 --> 00:53:06,612
- The people in blindfolds.
- Yeah.
852
00:53:06,688 --> 00:53:09,122
I thought it was like late '80s.
853
00:53:10,358 --> 00:53:12,383
- It's macho.
- That's interesting.
854
00:53:12,460 --> 00:53:15,793
Let's just say I'm not
a big fan of Jimmy Breslin.
855
00:53:15,864 --> 00:53:19,459
He's the reason I became a writer,
but that's not important.
856
00:53:32,981 --> 00:53:36,747
Harry, you and Marie
are both from New Jersey.
857
00:53:36,818 --> 00:53:38,410
- Really?
- Where are you from?
858
00:53:38,486 --> 00:53:40,078
- South Orange.
- Haddenfield.
859
00:53:47,762 --> 00:53:49,627
So what are we gonna order?
860
00:53:49,697 --> 00:53:52,359
Well, I'm going to start
with the grilled radicchio.
861
00:53:52,433 --> 00:53:53,957
Sally is a great orderer.
862
00:53:54,035 --> 00:53:56,003
Not only does she always pick
the best thing on the menu...
863
00:53:56,070 --> 00:53:59,164
but she orders it in a way that even the
chef didn't know how good it could be.
864
00:53:59,240 --> 00:54:02,676
- Restaurants have become too important.
- I agree.
865
00:54:02,744 --> 00:54:04,678
"Restaurants are
to people in the '80s...
866
00:54:04,746 --> 00:54:06,976
what theater was
to people in the '60s."
867
00:54:07,048 --> 00:54:08,982
I read that in a magazine.
868
00:54:09,050 --> 00:54:11,712
I wrote that.
869
00:54:11,786 --> 00:54:14,653
- Get outta here.
- No, I did. I wrote that.
870
00:54:14,722 --> 00:54:17,657
I've never quoted anything
from a magazine in my life.
871
00:54:17,725 --> 00:54:20,751
Don't you think that's amazing?
And you wrote it?
872
00:54:21,930 --> 00:54:24,524
I also wrote,
"Pesto is the quiche of the '80s."
873
00:54:24,599 --> 00:54:27,363
- Get over yourself!
- I did!
874
00:54:27,435 --> 00:54:29,665
- Where did I read that?
- New York magazine.
875
00:54:29,737 --> 00:54:31,671
Sally writes for New York magazine.
876
00:54:32,740 --> 00:54:36,801
That piece had a real impact on me.
I don't know that much about writing...
877
00:54:36,878 --> 00:54:39,711
It spoke to you,
and that pleases me.
878
00:54:39,781 --> 00:54:43,148
I mean, you have to admire people
who can be that articulate...
879
00:54:43,217 --> 00:54:47,779
Nobody has ever quoted me
back to me before.
880
00:54:56,431 --> 00:54:59,423
I've been looking
for a red suede pump.
881
00:55:02,170 --> 00:55:04,331
What do you think of Jess?
882
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:08,632
- Well...
- Do you think you could go out with him?
883
00:55:09,844 --> 00:55:13,541
- I don't know.
- I feel really comfortable with him.
884
00:55:13,614 --> 00:55:17,106
- You want to go out with Jess.
- If it would be all right with you.
885
00:55:17,185 --> 00:55:18,880
Sure, sure.
886
00:55:18,953 --> 00:55:21,547
I'm just worried about Harry.
He's very sensitive.
887
00:55:21,622 --> 00:55:25,558
He's going through a rough period.
I just don't want you to reject him.
888
00:55:25,626 --> 00:55:27,753
I wouldn't.
I totally understand.
889
00:55:27,829 --> 00:55:31,390
If you don't think you're going to call
Marie, do you mind if I call her?
890
00:55:31,466 --> 00:55:33,161
- No.
- Good, good, good.
891
00:55:33,234 --> 00:55:37,330
But for tonight you shouldn't.
Sally's very vulnerable right now.
892
00:55:37,405 --> 00:55:40,340
You can call Marie,
but just wait a week or so.
893
00:55:40,408 --> 00:55:42,672
- Don't make any moves tonight.
- No problem.
894
00:55:42,744 --> 00:55:44,735
I wasn't even thinking
about tonight.
895
00:55:46,047 --> 00:55:49,642
I don't feel much like walking anymore.
I think I'll get a cab.
896
00:55:49,717 --> 00:55:51,207
- I'll go with you.
- Great!
897
00:55:51,285 --> 00:55:52,809
Taxi!
898
00:56:04,165 --> 00:56:06,861
A man came to me and said...
899
00:56:06,934 --> 00:56:10,097
"I found nice girl for you.
900
00:56:10,171 --> 00:56:14,437
She lives in the next village...
901
00:56:14,509 --> 00:56:17,603
and she is ready for marriage."
902
00:56:19,013 --> 00:56:23,313
We were not supposed to meet
until the wedding...
903
00:56:23,384 --> 00:56:25,545
but I wanted to make sure.
904
00:56:25,620 --> 00:56:27,986
So I sneak into her village...
905
00:56:28,056 --> 00:56:30,024
hid behind a tree...
906
00:56:30,091 --> 00:56:33,458
watch her washing the clothes.
907
00:56:33,528 --> 00:56:37,521
I think if I don't like
the way she looks...
908
00:56:37,598 --> 00:56:39,532
I don't marry her.
909
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:42,467
But she looked really nice to me.
910
00:56:42,537 --> 00:56:46,303
So I said, "Okay," to the man.
911
00:56:46,374 --> 00:56:48,069
We get married.
912
00:56:48,142 --> 00:56:52,325
We're married for 55 years.
913
00:56:58,265 --> 00:57:01,723
- I have to get this.
- We're here for Jess and Marie.
914
00:57:01,802 --> 00:57:04,327
We'll find them something.
There's great stuff here.
915
00:57:04,404 --> 00:57:07,100
- We should've gone to the plant store.
- Perfect for them.
916
00:57:07,174 --> 00:57:09,108
What's that?
917
00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:11,701
Battery-operated pith helmet,
with fan.
918
00:57:11,778 --> 00:57:14,076
Why is this necessary in life?
919
00:57:14,147 --> 00:57:17,913
I don't know. Look at this.
It also makes great fries.
920
00:57:17,984 --> 00:57:22,182
Uh-oh. Call off the dogs.
The hunt is over.
921
00:57:22,255 --> 00:57:25,088
Sally,
this is the greatest.
922
00:57:25,158 --> 00:57:27,649
Sally, please report to me.
923
00:57:27,727 --> 00:57:30,218
This is the greatest.
You're gonna love this.
924
00:57:30,297 --> 00:57:32,857
This is
a singing machine.
925
00:57:32,933 --> 00:57:35,993
You sing the lead,
and this has the backup and everything.
926
00:57:36,069 --> 00:57:38,037
This is from Oklahoma.
Here's the lyrics right here.
927
00:57:38,105 --> 00:57:41,040
- "Surrey With the Fringe on Top."
- Yes. Perfect.
928
00:57:43,710 --> 00:57:46,508
Chicks and ducks and geese
better scurry
929
00:57:46,580 --> 00:57:49,549
When I take you out
in my surrey
930
00:57:52,252 --> 00:57:55,312
With the fringe on top
Now you.
931
00:57:55,388 --> 00:57:57,982
Watch that fringe
and see how it flutters
932
00:57:58,058 --> 00:58:00,993
When I drive them
high-steppin'strutters
933
00:58:01,061 --> 00:58:03,291
Nosy pokes will peek
through the shutters
934
00:58:03,363 --> 00:58:05,695
And their eyes will pop
935
00:58:05,765 --> 00:58:08,757
The wheels are yellow
the upholstery's brown
936
00:58:08,835 --> 00:58:11,099
The dashboard's
genuine leather
937
00:58:11,171 --> 00:58:14,368
With isinglass curtains
that will roll...
938
00:58:14,441 --> 00:58:15,931
What?
939
00:58:16,009 --> 00:58:19,467
It's my voice, isn't it?
You hate my voice.
940
00:58:19,546 --> 00:58:22,515
- I know. It's terrible. Joe hated it.
- It's Helen.
941
00:58:22,582 --> 00:58:24,812
Helen?
942
00:58:24,885 --> 00:58:26,819
She's coming right towards me.
943
00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:37,119
How are you, Harry?
944
00:58:37,197 --> 00:58:39,961
Fine. I'm fine.
945
00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:42,894
This is Ira Stone.
Harry Burns.
946
00:58:49,242 --> 00:58:51,437
I'm sorry.
This is Sally Albright.
947
00:58:51,511 --> 00:58:55,003
Helen Hillson and Ira.
948
00:58:57,184 --> 00:58:59,584
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
949
00:59:02,789 --> 00:59:04,882
Well...
950
00:59:04,958 --> 00:59:06,255
see you.
951
00:59:06,326 --> 00:59:08,590
Yeah. Bye.
952
00:59:09,996 --> 00:59:12,487
Nice to meet you, Ira.
953
00:59:17,637 --> 00:59:19,571
You okay?
954
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:23,400
Yeah, I'm perfect.
955
00:59:23,476 --> 00:59:25,808
She looked weird, didn't she?
She looked really weird.
956
00:59:25,879 --> 00:59:28,074
- She looked very weird.
- I've never seen her before.
957
00:59:28,148 --> 00:59:30,616
Trust me. She looked weird.
Her legs looked heavy.
958
00:59:30,684 --> 00:59:32,811
Really.
She must be retaining water.
959
00:59:32,886 --> 00:59:35,548
Believe me,
the woman saved everything.
960
00:59:38,558 --> 00:59:40,583
You sure you're okay?
961
00:59:40,660 --> 00:59:43,891
Oh, I'm fine. Look, it had
to happen at some point.
962
00:59:43,964 --> 00:59:46,524
In a city of eight million people,
you're bound to run into your ex-wife.
963
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:49,091
So, boom, it happened.
And now I'm fine.
964
00:59:53,340 --> 00:59:56,309
I like it. It works.
It says home to me.
965
00:59:56,376 --> 00:59:59,436
All right. We'll let
Harry and Sally be the judge.
966
01:00:00,647 --> 01:00:03,047
What do you think?
967
01:00:03,116 --> 01:00:05,050
- It's nice.
- Case closed.
968
01:00:05,118 --> 01:00:08,815
Of course he likes it.
He's a guy. Sally.
969
01:00:11,057 --> 01:00:12,991
What's so awful about it?
970
01:00:13,059 --> 01:00:17,359
It's so awful, there's no way to begin
to explain what's so awful about it.
971
01:00:17,430 --> 01:00:19,625
Honey, I don't object
to any of your things.
972
01:00:19,699 --> 01:00:22,065
If we had an extra room,
you could put all your things in it...
973
01:00:22,135 --> 01:00:26,868
- including your bar stools...
- Wait. You don't like my bar stools?
974
01:00:28,008 --> 01:00:30,806
Harry, come on.
Someone has to be on my side.
975
01:00:30,877 --> 01:00:33,903
I'm on your side. I'm just
trying to help you have good taste.
976
01:00:33,980 --> 01:00:36,346
I have good taste.
977
01:00:36,416 --> 01:00:39,180
Everybody thinks they have
good taste and a sense of humor...
978
01:00:39,252 --> 01:00:41,447
but they couldn't possibly
all have good taste.
979
01:00:41,521 --> 01:00:45,389
You know, it's funny.
We started out like this, Helen and I.
980
01:00:45,458 --> 01:00:48,950
We had blank walls. We hung things.
We picked out tiles together.
981
01:00:49,029 --> 01:00:52,021
Then you know what happens? Six years
later, you find yourself singing...
982
01:00:52,098 --> 01:00:55,659
"Surrey With a Fringe
on Top" in front of Ira!
983
01:00:55,735 --> 01:00:57,669
Do we have to talk
about this right now?
984
01:00:57,737 --> 01:01:00,763
Yes, right now actually is
the perfect time to talk about this...
985
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:04,571
because I want our friends to benefit
from the wisdom of my experience.
986
01:01:04,644 --> 01:01:08,273
Right now everything is great.
Everyone is happy. Everyone is in love.
987
01:01:08,348 --> 01:01:11,647
And that's wonderful. But you
gotta know that sooner or later...
988
01:01:11,718 --> 01:01:14,949
you're gonna be screaming at each other
about who's gonna get this dish.
989
01:01:15,021 --> 01:01:18,218
This eight-dollar dish will cost you
a thousand dollars in phone calls...
990
01:01:18,291 --> 01:01:20,782
to the legal firm
of "That's Mine, This is Yours."
991
01:01:20,860 --> 01:01:22,452
Please.
992
01:01:23,830 --> 01:01:25,798
Do me a favor
for your own good.
993
01:01:25,865 --> 01:01:27,890
Put your name
in your books right now...
994
01:01:27,967 --> 01:01:30,197
before they get mixed up
and you don't know whose is whose.
995
01:01:30,270 --> 01:01:32,135
Because someday,
believe it or not...
996
01:01:32,205 --> 01:01:35,299
you'll go 15 rounds over who's
gonna get this coffee table.
997
01:01:35,375 --> 01:01:37,969
This stupid, wagon wheel...
998
01:01:38,044 --> 01:01:40,911
Roy Rogers, garage sale
coffee table!
999
01:01:42,482 --> 01:01:46,213
- I thought you liked it.
- I was being nice!
1000
01:01:50,290 --> 01:01:52,918
He just bumped into Helen.
1001
01:02:00,433 --> 01:02:03,527
I want you to know...
1002
01:02:03,603 --> 01:02:07,630
that I will never want
that wagon wheel coffee table.
1003
01:02:16,449 --> 01:02:19,714
I know. I know.
I shouldn't have done that.
1004
01:02:19,786 --> 01:02:23,654
Harry, you're gonna have to try and find
a way of not expressing every feeling...
1005
01:02:23,723 --> 01:02:26,521
that you have
every moment that you have them.
1006
01:02:26,593 --> 01:02:29,391
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
1007
01:02:29,462 --> 01:02:32,954
There are times and places
for things.
1008
01:02:33,032 --> 01:02:36,524
The next time you're giving a lecture
series on social graces, let me know...
1009
01:02:36,603 --> 01:02:38,036
'cause I'll sign up.
1010
01:02:38,104 --> 01:02:41,801
Hey! You don't have to take
your anger out on me.
1011
01:02:41,875 --> 01:02:44,105
I'm entitled to throw
a little anger your way...
1012
01:02:44,177 --> 01:02:48,045
especially when I'm being told how to
live my life by Miss Hospital Corners.
1013
01:02:48,114 --> 01:02:51,948
- What's that supposed to mean?
- I mean nothing bothers you.
1014
01:02:52,018 --> 01:02:55,784
- You never get upset about anything.
- Don't be ridiculous.
1015
01:02:55,855 --> 01:02:58,881
What? You never get upset
about Joe.
1016
01:02:58,958 --> 01:03:01,859
I never see that back up on you.
How is that possible?
1017
01:03:01,928 --> 01:03:03,953
Don't you experience
any feelings of loss?
1018
01:03:04,030 --> 01:03:05,827
I don't have
to take this crap from you.
1019
01:03:05,899 --> 01:03:08,800
If you're so over Joe,
why aren't you seeing anyone?
1020
01:03:08,868 --> 01:03:10,802
- I see people!
- See people.
1021
01:03:10,870 --> 01:03:13,464
Have you slept with one person
since you broke up with Joe?
1022
01:03:13,540 --> 01:03:16,475
What the hell does that
have to do with anything?
1023
01:03:16,543 --> 01:03:20,445
That will prove I'm over Joe
because I fuck somebody?
1024
01:03:20,513 --> 01:03:22,845
You'll have to move back
to New Jersey...
1025
01:03:22,916 --> 01:03:24,281
because you slept
with everybody in New York...
1026
01:03:24,350 --> 01:03:27,581
and I don't see that turning Helen
into a faint memory for you.
1027
01:03:27,654 --> 01:03:31,454
Besides, I will make love to somebody
when it is making love...
1028
01:03:31,524 --> 01:03:34,857
not the way you do it, like you're
out for revenge or something.
1029
01:03:35,595 --> 01:03:37,119
Are you finished now?
1030
01:03:38,765 --> 01:03:40,323
Yes.
1031
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,664
Can I say something?
1032
01:03:42,735 --> 01:03:44,168
Yes.
1033
01:03:47,173 --> 01:03:49,698
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1034
01:04:01,020 --> 01:04:02,954
Don't say a word.
1035
01:04:07,093 --> 01:04:10,028
It's a monkey.
Monkey see, monkey do.
1036
01:04:10,096 --> 01:04:12,496
- It's an ape. Going ape.
- It's a baby!
1037
01:04:13,766 --> 01:04:16,030
- Planet of the Apes.
- She just said it's a baby.
1038
01:04:16,102 --> 01:04:18,297
- How about planet of the dopes?
- It doesn't look like a baby.
1039
01:04:18,371 --> 01:04:20,965
Bigmouth baby.
Mick Jagger as a baby!
1040
01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:23,873
- Baby ape! Baby ape!
- Stop with the apes, would you?
1041
01:04:23,943 --> 01:04:27,106
- Baby's breath!
- Rosemary's Baby's mouth.
1042
01:04:27,180 --> 01:04:29,705
- Won't you come home, Bill Baby?
- Kiss the baby.
1043
01:04:29,782 --> 01:04:34,378
- Melancholy Baby's mouth.
- Baby fish mouth! Baby fish mouth!
1044
01:04:35,121 --> 01:04:37,851
- Fifteen seconds.
- Baby Boom!
1045
01:04:37,924 --> 01:04:42,088
- Baby...
- Draw something resembling anything.
1046
01:04:42,161 --> 01:04:45,824
- Crying baby. Kiss the baby.
- Baby spitting up. Exorcist baby!
1047
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:49,930
- Yes, sir, that's my baby!
- No, sir, don't mean maybe.
1048
01:04:50,003 --> 01:04:52,972
- That's it. Time's up.
- Baby talk.
1049
01:04:53,039 --> 01:04:54,386
Baby talk? What's that?
That's not a saying.
1050
01:04:54,386 --> 01:04:56,411
Baby talk? What's that?
That's not a saying.
1051
01:04:56,489 --> 01:04:59,754
Oh, but "baby fish mouth" is sweeping
the nation. I hear them talking.
1052
01:05:00,493 --> 01:05:05,123
Final score. Our team, 110.
You guys, 60.
1053
01:05:08,434 --> 01:05:09,901
I can't draw.
1054
01:05:09,969 --> 01:05:13,871
No. That's a baby,
and it's clearly talking.
1055
01:05:13,939 --> 01:05:15,873
You're wonderful.
1056
01:05:15,941 --> 01:05:17,875
All right, who wants coffee?
1057
01:05:17,943 --> 01:05:19,808
- I do, and I love you.
- Do you have any tea?
1058
01:05:19,879 --> 01:05:21,813
- One tea.
- Industrial strength.
1059
01:05:21,881 --> 01:05:25,373
- I'll help you. Decaf?
- Yeah.
1060
01:05:28,154 --> 01:05:30,850
- Where's the bathroom?
- Through that door, down the hall.
1061
01:05:37,897 --> 01:05:40,161
Never looked like
a baby to me.
1062
01:05:40,232 --> 01:05:42,427
- Which part?
- All of it.
1063
01:05:42,501 --> 01:05:44,560
You were gonna show me
the cover off your book.
1064
01:05:44,637 --> 01:05:50,007
It's in the den. Julian, help yourself.
Have more wine, whatever you like.
1065
01:05:50,075 --> 01:05:52,202
I like saying, "It's in the den."
It's got a nice ring to it.
1066
01:05:52,278 --> 01:05:55,441
Emily is a little young for Harry,
don't you think?
1067
01:05:55,514 --> 01:05:58,642
Well, she's young,
but look what she's done.
1068
01:05:58,717 --> 01:06:01,015
What has she done?
She makes desserts.
1069
01:06:01,086 --> 01:06:03,020
Does Julian seem
a little stuffy to you?
1070
01:06:03,088 --> 01:06:05,556
He's a good guy.
You should talk to him, get to know him.
1071
01:06:05,624 --> 01:06:07,023
He's too tall to talk to.
1072
01:06:07,092 --> 01:06:10,289
She makes 3,500
chocolate mousse pies a week.
1073
01:06:11,897 --> 01:06:13,990
Emily is "Aunt Emily"?
1074
01:06:14,066 --> 01:06:16,591
He took us all to a Met game last week.
It was great.
1075
01:06:16,669 --> 01:06:21,197
- You all went to a Met game together?
- Yeah, but it was a last-minute thing.
1076
01:06:21,273 --> 01:06:22,740
But Sally hates baseball.
1077
01:06:22,808 --> 01:06:27,768
- Harry doesn't even like sweets.
- Julian is great.
1078
01:06:27,846 --> 01:06:29,905
I know. He's a grown-up.
1079
01:06:29,982 --> 01:06:32,109
- Emily is terrific.
- Yeah.
1080
01:06:32,184 --> 01:06:34,618
Of course when I asked her
where she was when Kennedy was shot...
1081
01:06:34,687 --> 01:06:37,247
she said,
"Ted Kennedy was shot?"
1082
01:06:49,301 --> 01:06:51,360
- Hello.
- Are you alone?
1083
01:06:51,437 --> 01:06:54,998
- Yeah, I was just finishing a book.
- Could you come over?
1084
01:06:55,074 --> 01:06:58,305
- What's the matter?
- He's getting married.
1085
01:06:58,377 --> 01:07:01,778
- Who?
- Joe.
1086
01:07:01,847 --> 01:07:03,781
I'll be right there.
1087
01:07:09,355 --> 01:07:11,220
Are you all right?
1088
01:07:13,692 --> 01:07:15,626
Come on in.
1089
01:07:18,664 --> 01:07:21,599
- I'm sorry to call you so late.
- It's all right.
1090
01:07:23,002 --> 01:07:25,027
- I need a Kleenex.
- Okay.
1091
01:07:27,039 --> 01:07:30,406
He just called me up,
"wanted to see how you were."
1092
01:07:30,476 --> 01:07:32,876
"Fine. How are you?"
"Fine."
1093
01:07:32,945 --> 01:07:36,745
His secretary is on vacation,
everything's all backed up...
1094
01:07:36,815 --> 01:07:41,377
he's got a big case in Newark,
blah, blah, blah.
1095
01:07:41,453 --> 01:07:44,047
And I'm sitting
on the phone thinking...
1096
01:07:44,123 --> 01:07:46,057
"I'm over him.
I really am over him.
1097
01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:49,720
I can't believe I was ever remotely
interested in any of this."
1098
01:07:51,096 --> 01:07:54,497
And then he said,
"I have some news."
1099
01:07:58,404 --> 01:08:02,636
She works in his office.
She's a paralegal. Her name is Kimberly.
1100
01:08:04,543 --> 01:08:06,477
He just met her.
1101
01:08:06,545 --> 01:08:09,480
She's supposed to be
his transitional person.
1102
01:08:09,548 --> 01:08:12,210
She's not supposed
to be the one.
1103
01:08:17,556 --> 01:08:22,323
All this time, I've been saying
that he didn't wanna get married.
1104
01:08:23,762 --> 01:08:28,893
But the truth is,
he didn't wanna marry me.
1105
01:08:32,304 --> 01:08:34,238
He didn't love me.
1106
01:08:38,510 --> 01:08:41,001
If you could take him back right now,
would you?
1107
01:08:45,084 --> 01:08:48,576
But why didn't
he wanna marry me?
1108
01:08:48,654 --> 01:08:51,714
- What's the matter with me?
- Nothing.
1109
01:08:51,790 --> 01:08:53,985
- I'm difficult.
- You're challenging.
1110
01:08:54,059 --> 01:08:56,926
I'm too structured.
I'm completely closed off.
1111
01:08:56,995 --> 01:08:58,587
But in a good way.
1112
01:08:58,664 --> 01:09:02,100
No. No, I drove him away.
1113
01:09:04,370 --> 01:09:06,736
And I'm gonna be 40.
1114
01:09:07,806 --> 01:09:09,364
When?
1115
01:09:09,441 --> 01:09:11,705
- Someday.
- In eight years.
1116
01:09:11,777 --> 01:09:13,836
But it's there.
1117
01:09:13,912 --> 01:09:18,246
It's just sitting there
like this big dead end.
1118
01:09:18,317 --> 01:09:20,945
And it's not the same for men.
1119
01:09:21,019 --> 01:09:23,954
Charlie Chaplin had babies
when he was 73.
1120
01:09:24,022 --> 01:09:26,252
Yeah, but he was too old
to pick 'em up.
1121
01:09:32,498 --> 01:09:34,762
Oh, come here. Come here.
1122
01:09:34,833 --> 01:09:36,801
It's gonna be okay.
1123
01:09:36,869 --> 01:09:39,133
It's gonna be fine.
You'll see.
1124
01:09:40,539 --> 01:09:42,871
Go ahead. It's not one
of my favorites anyway.
1125
01:09:45,544 --> 01:09:47,876
It's gonna be okay. Hmm?
1126
01:10:01,026 --> 01:10:05,053
- I'll make some tea.
- Could you hold me a little longer?
1127
01:10:05,130 --> 01:10:07,064
Oh, sure.
1128
01:10:47,172 --> 01:10:50,005
- Are you comfortable?
- Sure.
1129
01:10:56,014 --> 01:10:58,244
Do you want something
to drink or something?
1130
01:10:58,317 --> 01:10:59,841
No, I'm okay.
1131
01:11:01,019 --> 01:11:04,887
Well, I'm gonna get up for some water,
so it's really no trouble.
1132
01:11:04,957 --> 01:11:07,050
Okay, water.
1133
01:12:01,980 --> 01:12:05,916
You have all your videotapes
alphabetized and on index cards?
1134
01:12:07,519 --> 01:12:10,613
- Thank you.
- Do you wanna watch something?
1135
01:12:10,689 --> 01:12:15,092
- No, not unless you do.
- No. That's okay.
1136
01:12:29,274 --> 01:12:31,606
Do you wanna go to sleep?
1137
01:12:31,677 --> 01:12:33,110
Okay.
1138
01:13:06,727 --> 01:13:09,321
Where are you going?
1139
01:13:09,396 --> 01:13:11,660
I gotta go.
1140
01:13:12,733 --> 01:13:16,100
I gotta go home, change my clothes
and go to work. And so do you.
1141
01:13:16,170 --> 01:13:18,365
But after work I'd like to take you
out to dinner if you're free.
1142
01:13:18,438 --> 01:13:21,134
- Are you free?
- Yes.
1143
01:13:21,208 --> 01:13:22,675
Fine. I'll call you later.
1144
01:13:22,743 --> 01:13:26,372
- Fine.
- Fine.
1145
01:13:44,565 --> 01:13:46,499
Yours.
1146
01:13:46,567 --> 01:13:48,501
- Hello.
- I'm sorry to call so early.
1147
01:13:48,569 --> 01:13:50,662
- Are you all right?
- No one I know would call at this hour.
1148
01:13:50,737 --> 01:13:52,967
- I did something terrible.
- What did you do?
1149
01:13:53,040 --> 01:13:55,008
- No one I know would call at this hour.
- It's so awful.
1150
01:13:55,075 --> 01:13:56,542
- I need to talk.
- What happened?
1151
01:13:56,610 --> 01:13:58,043
- What's the matter?
- Harry came over last night.
1152
01:13:58,111 --> 01:14:00,978
- I went to Sally's last night.
- I was upset Joe was getting married.
1153
01:14:01,048 --> 01:14:03,346
- One thing led to another.
- Before I knew it we were kissing.
1154
01:14:03,417 --> 01:14:05,385
- To make a long story short, we did it.
- We did it.
1155
01:14:05,452 --> 01:14:08,012
- They did it.
- That's great, Sally.
1156
01:14:08,088 --> 01:14:10,147
- We've been praying for you.
- You should've in the first place.
1157
01:14:10,224 --> 01:14:12,818
- We've been saying you should do it.
- You belong together.
1158
01:14:12,893 --> 01:14:16,385
- Like killing two birds with one stone.
- It's like two wrongs make a right.
1159
01:14:16,463 --> 01:14:18,124
- How was it?
- During was good.
1160
01:14:18,198 --> 01:14:19,790
- I thought it was good.
- Then I felt suffocated.
1161
01:14:19,867 --> 01:14:22,233
- Then I guess it wasn't.
- Jesus, I'm sorry.
1162
01:14:22,302 --> 01:14:23,826
- I had to get out of there.
- He just disappeared.
1163
01:14:23,904 --> 01:14:25,599
- I feel so bad.
- I'm so embarrassed.
1164
01:14:25,672 --> 01:14:26,934
- I don't blame you.
- That's horrible.
1165
01:14:27,007 --> 01:14:29,100
- I'm coming down with something.
- I'm catching a cold.
1166
01:14:29,176 --> 01:14:31,269
It would've been great if it worked out,
but it didn't.
1167
01:14:31,345 --> 01:14:32,778
You should never go to bed
with anyone...
1168
01:14:32,846 --> 01:14:34,541
when you've found out
your last boyfriend is getting married.
1169
01:14:34,615 --> 01:14:35,877
- Who's that talking?
- Who?
1170
01:14:35,949 --> 01:14:38,144
- Is that Jess on the phone?
- Jane Fonda on the VCR.
1171
01:14:38,218 --> 01:14:40,880
- It's Bryant Gumbel.
- You want to come over for breakfast?
1172
01:14:40,954 --> 01:14:43,388
- No, I'm not up to it.
- No, I feel too awful.
1173
01:14:43,457 --> 01:14:46,688
- Good. I mean it's so early.
- But call me later if you want.
1174
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:48,728
- I'll call you later, okay?
- Okay, bye.
1175
01:14:48,795 --> 01:14:50,524
- Bye.
- Bye.
1176
01:14:52,532 --> 01:14:55,228
- God!
- I know.
1177
01:14:56,436 --> 01:14:59,599
Tell me I'll never have
to be out there again.
1178
01:15:02,776 --> 01:15:05,210
You will never have
to be out there again.
1179
01:15:08,982 --> 01:15:11,382
I'll just say
we made a mistake.
1180
01:15:12,152 --> 01:15:15,553
Sally, it was a mistake.
1181
01:15:17,291 --> 01:15:19,885
I just hope
I get to say it first.
1182
01:15:20,727 --> 01:15:23,389
I hope she says it
before I do.
1183
01:15:26,133 --> 01:15:27,623
It was a mistake.
1184
01:15:27,701 --> 01:15:30,135
I am so relieved
that you think so too.
1185
01:15:31,705 --> 01:15:33,832
I'm not saying
last night wasn't great.
1186
01:15:34,708 --> 01:15:37,768
- It was.
- Yes, it was.
1187
01:15:38,812 --> 01:15:42,304
- We just never should have done it.
- I couldn't agree more.
1188
01:15:42,382 --> 01:15:46,079
- I'm so relieved.
- Great.
1189
01:15:46,153 --> 01:15:47,586
Yeah.
1190
01:15:50,457 --> 01:15:52,391
Two mixed green salads.
1191
01:16:21,989 --> 01:16:26,824
It is so nice when you can sit with
someone and not have to talk. Hmm?
1192
01:16:30,630 --> 01:16:33,121
It's just like, most of the time,
you go to bed with someone...
1193
01:16:33,200 --> 01:16:37,569
and then she tells you all her stories,
you tell her your stories.
1194
01:16:37,637 --> 01:16:41,198
With Sally and me, we'd already
heard each other's stories.
1195
01:16:41,274 --> 01:16:45,233
So once we went to bed, we didn't know
what we were supposed to do. You know?
1196
01:16:45,312 --> 01:16:47,906
Sure, Harry.
1197
01:16:48,648 --> 01:16:50,115
I don't know.
1198
01:16:50,183 --> 01:16:52,117
Maybe you get to a certain point
in a relationship...
1199
01:16:52,185 --> 01:16:54,119
where it's just too late
to have sex.
1200
01:16:54,187 --> 01:16:55,620
You know?
1201
01:17:05,632 --> 01:17:08,066
Is Harry bringing anyone
to the wedding?
1202
01:17:08,135 --> 01:17:10,000
I don't think so.
1203
01:17:11,071 --> 01:17:13,005
Is he seeing anyone?
1204
01:17:13,073 --> 01:17:17,100
He was seeing
this anthropologist, but...
1205
01:17:18,178 --> 01:17:22,342
- What did she look like?
- Thin. Pretty. Big tits.
1206
01:17:22,416 --> 01:17:23,906
Your basic nightmare.
1207
01:17:28,622 --> 01:17:30,055
What do you think?
1208
01:17:31,792 --> 01:17:34,124
Oh, Marie.
1209
01:17:34,861 --> 01:17:36,726
Oh, tell the truth.
1210
01:17:38,265 --> 01:17:40,358
It's just beautiful.
1211
01:18:11,965 --> 01:18:14,024
We are gathered here today...
1212
01:18:14,101 --> 01:18:18,765
to celebrate the marriage
of Marie and Jess...
1213
01:18:18,839 --> 01:18:22,036
and to consecrate
their vows of matrimony.
1214
01:18:22,109 --> 01:18:25,636
The vows they will take
join their lives.
1215
01:18:25,712 --> 01:18:29,978
The wine they will share
binds all their hopes together.
1216
01:18:30,984 --> 01:18:35,216
And by the rings they will wear,
they will be known to all...
1217
01:18:35,288 --> 01:18:38,519
as husband and wife.
1218
01:18:48,668 --> 01:18:52,604
I've never seen her so happy.
She's a totally different person.
1219
01:18:52,672 --> 01:18:57,371
Oh, yeah, she is. It's great,
but what are we gonna do about you?
1220
01:18:57,444 --> 01:18:59,776
- Me?
- Honey, you wanna dance?
1221
01:18:59,846 --> 01:19:01,609
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do.
1222
01:19:01,681 --> 01:19:03,114
Excuse us.
1223
01:19:12,425 --> 01:19:15,121
- Nice ceremony.
- Beautiful.
1224
01:19:17,764 --> 01:19:20,198
Boy, the holidays are rough.
Every year I just try...
1225
01:19:20,267 --> 01:19:23,202
to get from the day before Thanksgiving
to the day after New Year's.
1226
01:19:23,270 --> 01:19:25,238
A lot of suicides.
1227
01:19:26,773 --> 01:19:28,764
Would you like
a pea pod with a shrimp?
1228
01:19:28,842 --> 01:19:31,174
Thank you.
1229
01:19:31,244 --> 01:19:34,179
- How have you been?
- Fine.
1230
01:19:34,247 --> 01:19:36,511
Are you seeing anybody?
What?
1231
01:19:36,583 --> 01:19:38,517
- I don't want to talk about this.
- Why not?
1232
01:19:38,585 --> 01:19:41,713
I don't want
to talk about it.
1233
01:19:41,788 --> 01:19:46,157
Why can't we get past this? Are we gonna
carry this thing around forever?
1234
01:19:46,226 --> 01:19:50,663
- Forever? It just happened.
- It happened three weeks ago.
1235
01:19:50,730 --> 01:19:53,597
You know how a year to a person
is like seven years to a dog?
1236
01:19:54,734 --> 01:19:56,599
Yes.
1237
01:19:58,471 --> 01:20:01,770
Is one of us supposed
to be a dog in this scenario?
1238
01:20:01,841 --> 01:20:04,537
- Yes.
- Who is the dog?
1239
01:20:04,611 --> 01:20:06,579
- You are.
- I am?
1240
01:20:06,646 --> 01:20:10,275
I am the dog?
I am the dog? L...
1241
01:20:16,423 --> 01:20:19,551
I don't see that, Harry.
If anybody is the dog, you are the dog.
1242
01:20:19,626 --> 01:20:21,685
You wanna act like what happened
didn't mean anything.
1243
01:20:21,761 --> 01:20:24,958
I'm not saying that. I'm saying,
why does it have to mean everything?
1244
01:20:25,031 --> 01:20:28,194
Because it does. And you should
know that better than anybody...
1245
01:20:28,268 --> 01:20:30,463
because the minute that it happened,
you walked right out the door.
1246
01:20:30,537 --> 01:20:33,404
- I didn't walk out.
- No. Sprinted is more like it.
1247
01:20:33,473 --> 01:20:37,102
- We both agreed it was a mistake.
- The worst mistake I ever made.
1248
01:20:39,045 --> 01:20:41,411
- What do you want from me?
- I don't want anything from you!
1249
01:20:41,481 --> 01:20:43,415
Fine. But let's get
one thing straight.
1250
01:20:43,483 --> 01:20:46,975
I did not go over there that night
to make love to you.
1251
01:20:47,053 --> 01:20:50,045
But you looked up at me with these big,
weepy eyes. "Don't go home tonight.
1252
01:20:50,123 --> 01:20:52,557
Hold me a little longer."
What was I supposed to do?
1253
01:20:52,626 --> 01:20:55,322
What are you saying?
You took pity on me?
1254
01:20:55,395 --> 01:20:57,329
- No, I was...
- Fuck you!
1255
01:21:01,434 --> 01:21:04,665
Everybody, could I have
your attention, please?
1256
01:21:04,738 --> 01:21:08,936
I'd like to propose a toast
to Harry and Sally.
1257
01:21:09,009 --> 01:21:10,943
To Harry and Sally.
1258
01:21:11,011 --> 01:21:15,675
If Marie or I had found either of them
remotely attractive...
1259
01:21:15,749 --> 01:21:17,683
we would not be here today.
1260
01:22:04,517 --> 01:22:06,007
Hi. It's me.
1261
01:22:06,086 --> 01:22:08,520
It's the holiday season
and I thought I'd remind you...
1262
01:22:08,588 --> 01:22:10,783
that this is the season
of charity and forgiveness.
1263
01:22:10,857 --> 01:22:13,223
And, although
it is not widely known...
1264
01:22:13,293 --> 01:22:15,591
it is also the season
of groveling.
1265
01:22:15,662 --> 01:22:18,256
So if you felt
like calling me back...
1266
01:22:18,331 --> 01:22:22,563
I'd be more than happy to do
the traditional Christmas grovel.
1267
01:22:22,636 --> 01:22:24,570
Give me a call.
1268
01:22:40,453 --> 01:22:43,616
Hi. I'm not home right now.
I'll call you right back.
1269
01:22:43,690 --> 01:22:46,625
If you're there, pick up the phone.
I really wanna talk to you.
1270
01:22:50,163 --> 01:22:52,927
The fact that you're not answering
leads me to believe you're either...
1271
01:22:52,999 --> 01:22:54,933
A... not at home...
1272
01:22:55,001 --> 01:22:57,401
B... home,
but don't wanna talk to me...
1273
01:22:57,470 --> 01:23:02,908
or C... home, desperately wanna talk to
me, but trapped under something heavy.
1274
01:23:02,976 --> 01:23:05,706
If it's either A or C,
please call me back.
1275
01:23:08,581 --> 01:23:12,608
She doesn't wanna talk to me. What do
I have to do, be hit over the head?
1276
01:23:12,686 --> 01:23:14,449
She wants to call me,
she'll call me.
1277
01:23:14,521 --> 01:23:16,682
I am through
making a schmuck out of myself.
1278
01:23:16,756 --> 01:23:20,624
If you're feeling
sad and lonely
1279
01:23:20,694 --> 01:23:23,663
There's a service
I can render
1280
01:23:23,730 --> 01:23:27,029
Tell the one
who digs you only
1281
01:23:27,100 --> 01:23:30,399
I can be so warm and tender
1282
01:23:30,470 --> 01:23:32,267
Call me
1283
01:23:32,339 --> 01:23:35,706
Maybe it's late
to just call me
1284
01:23:35,775 --> 01:23:39,176
Don't be afraid
to just phone moi
1285
01:23:39,245 --> 01:23:43,341
Call me and I'll be around
1286
01:23:43,416 --> 01:23:45,941
- Give me a call.
- Hi, Harry.
1287
01:23:46,019 --> 01:23:50,422
Hello. Hi.
I didn't know that you were there.
1288
01:23:50,490 --> 01:23:53,357
- What are you doing?
- I was just on my way out.
1289
01:23:53,426 --> 01:23:56,224
Where are you going?
1290
01:23:56,296 --> 01:23:58,958
- What do you want, Harry?
- Nothing. Nothing.
1291
01:23:59,032 --> 01:24:02,399
I just called to say I'm sorry.
1292
01:24:04,037 --> 01:24:05,470
Okay.
1293
01:24:12,979 --> 01:24:16,745
- I gotta go.
- Wait a second. Wait a second.
1294
01:24:16,816 --> 01:24:19,444
What are you doing for New Year's?
Are you going to the Tylers' party?
1295
01:24:19,519 --> 01:24:22,113
'Cause I don't have a date.
And if you don't have a date...
1296
01:24:22,188 --> 01:24:24,349
we always said that if
neither one of us had a date...
1297
01:24:24,424 --> 01:24:27,484
we could be together
for New Year's.
1298
01:24:27,560 --> 01:24:32,224
I can't do this anymore. I am not
your consolation prize. Good-bye.
1299
01:24:41,841 --> 01:24:44,275
And here we are,
once again...
1300
01:24:44,344 --> 01:24:47,404
the 16th annual
New Year's Rockin'Eve...
1301
01:24:47,480 --> 01:24:49,141
coming to you live...
1302
01:24:49,215 --> 01:24:51,183
What's so bad about this?
1303
01:24:51,251 --> 01:24:53,242
You got Dick Clark.
That's tradition.
1304
01:24:53,319 --> 01:24:56,015
You got Malomars,
the greatest cookie of all time.
1305
01:24:56,089 --> 01:25:00,992
And you're about to give the Knicks
their first championship since 1973.
1306
01:25:18,711 --> 01:25:21,236
I don't know
why I let you drag me to this.
1307
01:25:25,351 --> 01:25:29,981
This is much better. Fresh air.
I have the streets all to myself.
1308
01:25:30,056 --> 01:25:33,924
Who needs to be at a big crowded party
pretending to have a good time?
1309
01:25:33,993 --> 01:25:37,793
Plus this is the perfect time
to catch up on my window shopping.
1310
01:25:37,864 --> 01:25:39,798
This is good.
1311
01:25:51,511 --> 01:25:54,412
So the guy says,
"Read the card."
1312
01:26:04,424 --> 01:26:07,052
- I'm going home.
- You'll never get a taxi.
1313
01:26:08,761 --> 01:26:09,819
Oh, God!
1314
01:26:37,657 --> 01:26:39,648
You realize
that we could never be friends.
1315
01:26:39,726 --> 01:26:41,557
Why not?
1316
01:26:41,628 --> 01:26:43,562
Men and women
can't be friends...
1317
01:26:43,630 --> 01:26:46,531
because the sex part
always gets in the way.
1318
01:26:46,599 --> 01:26:48,066
That's not true.
1319
01:26:48,134 --> 01:26:50,568
No man can be friends
with a woman he finds attractive.
1320
01:26:50,637 --> 01:26:52,571
He always wants
to have sex with her.
1321
01:26:52,639 --> 01:26:54,834
What if they don't wanna
have sex with you?
1322
01:26:54,908 --> 01:26:57,308
Doesn't matter, because the sex thing
is already out there...
1323
01:26:57,377 --> 01:27:01,438
so the friendship is ultimately doomed,
and that is the end of the story.
1324
01:27:01,514 --> 01:27:04,312
- I guess we're not gonna be friends.
- Guess not.
1325
01:27:04,384 --> 01:27:09,253
It's too bad, because you were
the only person that I knew in New York.
1326
01:27:56,035 --> 01:27:59,095
- I'm going.
- It's almost midnight.
1327
01:27:59,172 --> 01:28:03,233
- The thought of not kissing somebody...
- I'll kiss you.
1328
01:28:04,410 --> 01:28:06,503
Hey, taxi! Taxi!
1329
01:28:11,818 --> 01:28:13,649
Come on. Stay. Please.
1330
01:28:13,720 --> 01:28:16,450
Thanks, Jess.
I just... I have to go.
1331
01:28:16,522 --> 01:28:19,082
- Oh, wait two minutes.
- I'll call you tomorrow.
1332
01:28:59,067 --> 01:29:02,195
I've been doing a lot of thinking,
and the thing is, I love you.
1333
01:29:02,938 --> 01:29:05,702
- What?
- I love you.
1334
01:29:05,774 --> 01:29:08,436
How do you expect me
to respond to this?
1335
01:29:08,510 --> 01:29:12,412
- How about you love me too?
- How about "I'm leaving"?
1336
01:29:12,481 --> 01:29:15,006
Doesn't what I said
mean anything to you?
1337
01:29:15,083 --> 01:29:17,847
I'm sorry.
I know it's New Year's Eve.
1338
01:29:17,920 --> 01:29:20,946
I know you're feeling lonely,
but you can't just show up here...
1339
01:29:21,023 --> 01:29:24,151
tell me you love me and expect that
to make everything all right.
1340
01:29:24,226 --> 01:29:26,353
- Three, two, one!
- It doesn't work this way.
1341
01:29:26,428 --> 01:29:30,455
- Well, how does it work?
- I don't know, but not this way.
1342
01:29:30,532 --> 01:29:32,056
How about this way?
1343
01:29:32,134 --> 01:29:34,762
I love that you get cold
when it's 71 degrees out.
1344
01:29:34,837 --> 01:29:37,465
I love that it takes you
an hour and a half to order a sandwich.
1345
01:29:37,539 --> 01:29:39,666
I love that you get a little crinkle
above your nose...
1346
01:29:39,741 --> 01:29:41,675
when you're looking at me
like I'm nuts.
1347
01:29:41,743 --> 01:29:45,201
I love after I spend the day with you,
I can still smell your perfume on me.
1348
01:29:45,280 --> 01:29:49,842
I love that you are the last person
I wanna talk to before I go to sleep.
1349
01:29:49,918 --> 01:29:53,820
And it's not because I'm lonely, and
it's not because it's New Year's Eve.
1350
01:29:53,889 --> 01:29:55,948
I came here tonight,
because when you realize...
1351
01:29:56,024 --> 01:29:58,254
you wanna spend
the rest of your life with somebody...
1352
01:29:58,327 --> 01:30:01,660
you want the rest of your life
to start as soon as possible.
1353
01:30:05,133 --> 01:30:06,566
You see?
1354
01:30:07,870 --> 01:30:09,861
That is just like you.
1355
01:30:09,938 --> 01:30:14,568
You say things like that and you make
it impossible for me to hate you.
1356
01:30:15,611 --> 01:30:18,444
And I hate you, Harry.
1357
01:30:19,281 --> 01:30:21,715
I really hate you.
1358
01:30:25,320 --> 01:30:26,981
I hate you.
1359
01:30:33,929 --> 01:30:41,062
We'll take a cup
of kindness yet
1360
01:30:41,136 --> 01:30:44,867
For auld lang syne
1361
01:30:44,940 --> 01:30:48,068
What does this song mean? My whole life
I don't know what this song means.
1362
01:30:48,143 --> 01:30:50,270
"Should old acquaintance
be forgot."
1363
01:30:50,345 --> 01:30:52,472
Does that mean that
we should forget old acquaintances...
1364
01:30:52,547 --> 01:30:54,538
or does it mean if we happen to
forget them, we should remember them...
1365
01:30:54,616 --> 01:30:56,709
which is not possible
because we already forgot 'em.
1366
01:30:56,785 --> 01:31:01,688
Well, maybe it just means that we should
remember that we forgot them.
1367
01:31:04,493 --> 01:31:07,462
Anyway,
it's about old friends.
1368
01:31:09,431 --> 01:31:14,391
In days of auld lang syne
1369
01:31:14,469 --> 01:31:16,437
The first time we met,
we hated each other.
1370
01:31:16,505 --> 01:31:19,303
No, you didn't hate me.
I hated you.
1371
01:31:19,374 --> 01:31:21,740
The second time we met,
you didn't even remember me.
1372
01:31:21,810 --> 01:31:24,108
I did too.
I remembered you.
1373
01:31:24,179 --> 01:31:27,012
The third time we met,
we became friends.
1374
01:31:27,082 --> 01:31:30,449
- We were friends for a long time.
- And then we weren't.
1375
01:31:30,519 --> 01:31:32,919
And then we fell in love.
1376
01:31:32,988 --> 01:31:37,049
- Three months later, we got married.
- And it only took three months.
1377
01:31:37,125 --> 01:31:41,027
- Twelve years and three months.
- We had this really wonderful wedding.
1378
01:31:41,096 --> 01:31:43,496
- It really was a beautiful wedding.
- It was great.
1379
01:31:43,565 --> 01:31:45,556
We had
this enormous coconut cake.
1380
01:31:45,634 --> 01:31:47,932
Huge coconut cake
with the tiers...
1381
01:31:48,003 --> 01:31:51,234
and there was this
very rich chocolate sauce on the side.
1382
01:31:51,306 --> 01:31:54,764
Right. Not everybody likes it on
the cake 'cause it makes it very soggy.
1383
01:31:54,843 --> 01:31:57,209
Particularly the coconut,
soaks up a lot of that sauce...
1384
01:31:57,279 --> 01:31:59,611
so it's important
to keep it on the side.
1385
01:35:16,278 --> 01:35:19,304
Done by (c) dCd / January 2007
113208
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