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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,850 --> 00:00:32,780 Blondot? 2 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,940 Gervais Blondot? 3 00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:36,860 Are you receiving me? 4 00:00:37,010 --> 00:00:38,380 Hello? Yes, sorry. 5 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:41,810 -Gervais here. Terrible reception. -I got the image. 6 00:00:41,980 --> 00:00:43,220 It must be the bark. 7 00:00:43,370 --> 00:00:44,860 It was your idea, Blondot! 8 00:00:45,020 --> 00:00:45,860 That's better. 9 00:00:46,010 --> 00:00:47,690 I'm gonna nail him this time. 10 00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:49,250 Shut up. Are you ready? 11 00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:51,050 I'm in position. I'm ready. 12 00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:54,530 -Here he comes. -Don't move. 13 00:01:05,450 --> 00:01:06,770 He's right there! 14 00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:09,260 He just passed by, one meter from me. 15 00:01:13,610 --> 00:01:16,420 He's crossing the street. Did you hear me? 16 00:01:17,450 --> 00:01:19,100 He's going to the ATM. 17 00:01:28,940 --> 00:01:30,290 He'll never spot me. 18 00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:32,980 We did tests, no one spotted me. 19 00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:35,140 -What are you up to? -Beat it! 20 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:36,740 Who the hell was that? 21 00:01:36,890 --> 00:01:39,580 I asked you to secure the area! Damn it! 22 00:01:39,740 --> 00:01:41,740 Quiet down! You'll give us away. 23 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:43,300 He's coming your way. 24 00:01:43,460 --> 00:01:45,460 He's coming. Mayday! 25 00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:47,380 The flap's stuck. 26 00:01:50,090 --> 00:01:52,130 He didn't spot me. 27 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,410 He threw something at me. 28 00:02:04,730 --> 00:02:07,580 -He's smoked me out! -He spotted you? 29 00:02:07,730 --> 00:02:09,940 He set me on fire! I'm burning! 30 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:11,380 So you are. 31 00:02:12,410 --> 00:02:14,450 Tough it out, Blondot. 32 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:15,580 It won't go out! 33 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,700 It's no joke. I'm on fire! 34 00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:49,010 He's a mega-crackpot! I'm going in! 35 00:03:05,780 --> 00:03:07,900 Police! Stop that truck! 36 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,450 Holy shit! 37 00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:21,740 -Move! -Out the way! 38 00:03:21,890 --> 00:03:24,050 Let the pineapple through! 39 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:25,220 Curtis! 40 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:27,940 Let me through! Move! 41 00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,540 Scram, bitch! 42 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:31,250 Curtis, pull over! 43 00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:40,730 What's he doing there? 44 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,650 Stop that truck! 45 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,660 We're good! 46 00:04:04,970 --> 00:04:07,420 Keep your hat on, the sun's strong. 47 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:08,810 Keep it straight. 48 00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:11,020 When we get home, I'll massage you. 49 00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:13,100 Move it! Move it! 50 00:04:19,610 --> 00:04:21,050 Sorry! Keep going! 51 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,180 Go, Michel! 52 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:33,980 That's nifty parking. 53 00:04:38,540 --> 00:04:39,460 Jeez! 54 00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:41,330 What a buzz! 55 00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,540 That's what I call a heist! 56 00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:46,780 That's bank property! 57 00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:48,890 Police! Dammit! 58 00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:51,340 Hey, the boy scout, hand it over! 59 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,140 Let go! 60 00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:54,380 It's mine! 61 00:04:54,530 --> 00:04:56,660 Scout's honor! 62 00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,660 Put that money down! 63 00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:02,180 It belongs to the Bank of France. 64 00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:05,020 You'll be charged as accomplices. 65 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,380 Help yourselves! 66 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:08,690 Awesome! 67 00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:10,010 That's the best yet! 68 00:05:16,820 --> 00:05:19,060 KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! CURTIS 69 00:05:23,930 --> 00:05:24,940 It's Gervais! 70 00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:28,490 I lobbied hard to get plasmas. 71 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:31,850 They're touchscreens. No, they're not. 72 00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:33,580 I asked for touchscreens. 73 00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:36,580 Call this Philip guy and get him to change them. 74 00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:39,020 They make our image more modern. 75 00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:40,940 That's why I'm a captain. 76 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:43,060 How old would you say I am? Twenty-six? Twenty-seven? 77 00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:44,740 Share the joke? 78 00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:46,490 Absolutely, boss. 79 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,660 That's good. It's witty. Photographic humor. 80 00:05:53,260 --> 00:05:54,290 Cigarette? 81 00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:56,810 Coffee? 82 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,490 So, you cutie pie punk, 83 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:04,010 you thought you'd make a fool of me? 84 00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:06,410 You had a good laugh, huh? 85 00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:08,780 Nobody laughs at Big Gervais. 86 00:06:08,930 --> 00:06:11,180 I had my eye on you all the time. 87 00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:15,170 Dream on, I'm too fast for you. 88 00:06:20,690 --> 00:06:22,900 C'mon, tell me why you did it. 89 00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:24,820 To eat? 90 00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:27,700 Poor diddums, he's hungry? 91 00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:29,980 Mommy, not food in flidge... 92 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,900 I don't give a shit! 93 00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:35,500 It's not my problem. Here, in France, you pay for stuff! 94 00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:38,810 In French francs! 95 00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:40,420 In euros! 96 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,780 Can I go now, officer? 97 00:06:47,930 --> 00:06:50,300 Don't give me any of your cutesy crap. 98 00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:52,300 Hey, Gervais, we were worried. 99 00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:53,810 You got on your feet? 100 00:06:57,580 --> 00:06:59,020 Complete idiots, these people. 101 00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:01,420 Pathetic little children! 102 00:07:04,130 --> 00:07:05,740 What's holding me back? 103 00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:07,340 Let me teach you a lesson. 104 00:07:07,730 --> 00:07:09,290 See him? That's Curtis. 105 00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:12,100 He started out stealing sausages. 106 00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:14,260 Merguez sausages. His first conviction was... 107 00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:15,980 Armed robbery. No kidding? 108 00:07:16,130 --> 00:07:19,850 But apparently there were traces 109 00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,010 of merguez in his sandwich. 110 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,580 So, bit of merguez equals sausage theft 111 00:07:24,740 --> 00:07:25,850 equals prison. 112 00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:27,380 Got that, Chang-Chang? 113 00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:31,580 Go on... 114 00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:32,980 Get lost! 115 00:07:33,140 --> 00:07:34,730 Thank you, officer. 116 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:41,980 How do they see anything? 117 00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:44,620 Fifty-seven thousand. 118 00:07:46,010 --> 00:07:48,530 Of course, it has a certificate of authenticity? 119 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:49,900 Absolutely. 120 00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:52,460 Every piece is examined by Mr. Shamme, 121 00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:55,010 the expert at Drouot auction rooms. 122 00:07:57,580 --> 00:08:01,660 I'll think it over and call you back this afternoon. 123 00:08:06,260 --> 00:08:08,380 -Have a good day, sir. -Madam. 124 00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:12,260 What got into you? Are you a complete idiot? 125 00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:14,620 "Mr. Shamme"? You must be kidding. 126 00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:17,540 I mean, "What a Shamme, it's a fake!" 127 00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,090 What have you got for me? 128 00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:21,820 Six magnificent tickers! 129 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,780 These are the real deal. 130 00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:25,540 Top quality. 131 00:08:25,970 --> 00:08:27,740 The finest watchmakers. 132 00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:32,810 One thousand. 133 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:35,660 -What? They're worth ten times more. -Not at all. 134 00:08:35,810 --> 00:08:36,770 -Yes at all. -Bye at all. 135 00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:39,380 No, not bye. I mean, okay. 136 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:40,940 And dinner? 137 00:08:45,050 --> 00:08:47,020 Just you and me, one on one, 138 00:08:47,180 --> 00:08:49,220 at the Casa di Fettucine. Tonight. 139 00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:50,810 Tonight, I'm busy. 140 00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:52,660 What a Shamme! 141 00:08:58,130 --> 00:08:58,970 Tomorrow? 142 00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:03,650 If you're still alive. The Bouglioni brothers are after you. 143 00:09:04,780 --> 00:09:07,940 No way! I told them Monday. It's not Monday. 144 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,740 It's not the money anymore. 145 00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:13,490 The Bouglioni brothers could be joking. 146 00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:15,290 They're a family of jokers. 147 00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:17,860 Hold on, could I have my money? 148 00:09:18,380 --> 00:09:21,020 I have to go to the bank. I'll have it later. 149 00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:24,290 I'll be at Hotel Capucine, Rue Capron. Room nine. 150 00:09:24,460 --> 00:09:25,660 Ice the champagne. 151 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,860 Perfect. 152 00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:39,100 What's the Bouglionis' beef with me? 153 00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:44,500 Such fun, standing by the window all day... 154 00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:48,530 Such fun, standing by the window all day... 155 00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,540 Such fun, standing by... 156 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:53,860 So, it's Hotel Capucine, Rue Capron? 157 00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,490 What's with you? 158 00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:58,730 I'm looking... 159 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,490 Sorry... 160 00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:04,660 It's too big! 161 00:10:04,820 --> 00:10:06,290 Give me some room. 162 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,410 That's better. 163 00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:10,900 Sorry! 164 00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:14,300 Wrong way up. 165 00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:18,580 We been here already. 166 00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:20,300 Turn right. 167 00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:24,770 Even if I say "straight ahead", 168 00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:27,170 you watch my hand. Follow my hand! 169 00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:28,940 Get it out of my face! 170 00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:31,130 -Follow my hand! -Shit! 171 00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:32,780 -Where's the map? -We're lost. 172 00:10:32,930 --> 00:10:34,900 He threw the map out the window! 173 00:10:35,060 --> 00:10:37,610 We already been this way. 174 00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:40,730 I give the directions. 175 00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:44,020 If he doesn't follow, we'll go wrong. 176 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:46,250 He has to follow them! 177 00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:49,420 He has to start by listening. You've got to listen! 178 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:51,020 I give up! 179 00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:53,740 C'mon, Claudine! 180 00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:58,300 Come on! Come on! 181 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,820 Go, Gervais, go! 182 00:11:09,980 --> 00:11:11,570 Go, Gervais, go! 183 00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:15,290 Stop, Gervais. 184 00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:19,340 Please, stop. 185 00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:22,100 Go easy, Gervais. 186 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,140 Easy... 187 00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:35,500 It's stuck. 188 00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:38,300 You've fucked the ice. The sheet's unplayable. 189 00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:41,300 You douchebag! You're a criminal. Look at that. 190 00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:42,740 Hold on... 191 00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:44,570 I won't. You make me sick! 192 00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:46,610 I've got the rules here, 193 00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:49,220 which say that the home team 194 00:11:49,370 --> 00:11:52,490 "must provide a rink in perfect condition..." 195 00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:53,620 It was! 196 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,060 Not anymore, I'm sorry. 197 00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:59,980 "If not, the score on the board shall be considered final." 198 00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:02,260 Five-four to us! 199 00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:03,530 You make me sick! 200 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:05,180 Douchebag! 201 00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:07,370 Five-four! Five! 202 00:12:07,540 --> 00:12:09,530 Five-four to us! 203 00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:11,900 The Alglaglas can stick it up their... 204 00:12:12,050 --> 00:12:13,820 We got five! 205 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:16,010 We've got five to four! 206 00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:18,860 Five, four, four, four... 207 00:12:19,010 --> 00:12:20,860 The Committee will hear of this! 208 00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:22,940 Now I'm sure, it's straight ahead. 209 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,940 Keep going straight. 210 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:26,860 That's right. 211 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,420 Okay... 212 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:36,620 No, it's not here. I got it wrong. 213 00:12:36,770 --> 00:12:39,460 Sorry about that. You get it wrong too sometimes. 214 00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:40,460 All of you do. 215 00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:43,130 -I give up. -We're in the right direction. 216 00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:46,850 It's with great pride that I accept the Idi Amin trophy, 217 00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:50,020 having beaten Asnières for the fifth time. 218 00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:54,050 You've got a nerve! Cheat! 219 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:57,140 Twenty years I've been curling 220 00:12:57,290 --> 00:12:59,980 and 20 years I've respected the rules. 221 00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:03,530 Respect for the rules is respect for ourselves and life! 222 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,530 Curl for life! That should mean something. 223 00:13:07,010 --> 00:13:09,170 If you're not happy, beat it! 224 00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:11,660 Not you! 225 00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:16,660 -You're marrying a criminal. -What? 226 00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:19,700 At least, my wife hasn't left me because I'm a wino! 227 00:13:23,740 --> 00:13:24,620 What? 228 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:27,290 He was drunk and she walked out on him. 229 00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:29,860 His son committed suicide. 230 00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:32,020 Hanging from a cellar. 231 00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:35,450 He'd melt ice with his breath. 232 00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:37,940 There you are, sir. 233 00:13:38,090 --> 00:13:40,180 -But I ordered fries. -Those are fries. 234 00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,410 -No, that's pasta. -They're fries, sir. 235 00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:45,580 -Don't bullshit me. It's pasta. -They're fries. 236 00:13:47,380 --> 00:13:49,580 I've been a waiter ten years. They're fries. 237 00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:51,650 -What's that then? -Water, sir. 238 00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:54,620 You think I'm an idiot? I can tell pasta from... 239 00:13:57,940 --> 00:14:00,220 Jeez! 240 00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:03,620 I must have said Saturday. 241 00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:06,100 Yes, I'm two days late. 242 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:08,260 A message for the cheat. 243 00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:12,940 Please bring the mic back before we close the rink. 244 00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:18,820 I'm sorry. I was a bit mean, 245 00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:20,900 but rules are rules. 246 00:14:21,050 --> 00:14:24,740 You can't use what he told us in private against him. 247 00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:27,620 By revealing his drink problem, he trusted us. 248 00:14:27,770 --> 00:14:30,050 I trusted him when I gave him my cup. 249 00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:31,370 He broke it... 250 00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:32,380 Sorry. 251 00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:34,820 You're obsessed with your silly cup! 252 00:14:34,970 --> 00:14:37,370 -Stop it. -We're getting married tomorrow. 253 00:14:37,850 --> 00:14:39,890 Don't you think I'd prefer to hear 254 00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:42,460 that it'll be the best day of your life? 255 00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:45,890 -Sure... -I haven't finished! 256 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,220 I'm warning you. 257 00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:51,530 You'll be sitting next to Aunt Janine. If I hear 258 00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:54,140 you utter the idiotic name "Curtis", 259 00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,170 you'll be eating chicken nuggets at the kiddies' table! 260 00:14:57,340 --> 00:14:58,180 What? 261 00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:01,100 I won't let your incompetence ruin my wedding! 262 00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:03,220 Yesterday, I was this close... 263 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:06,740 Be quiet! Face it, you'll never catch him! 264 00:15:06,890 --> 00:15:08,740 Get the idea out of your head. 265 00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:12,940 Anyways, I love you and can't wait to be at the altar. 266 00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:17,140 Me, too. I love you, too. 267 00:15:19,970 --> 00:15:21,260 You know very well. 268 00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:23,180 Not before we're married. 269 00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:25,010 That's right. 270 00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:26,810 I can't wait. 271 00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:33,530 See how I rubbed that rink? Just think how I... 272 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:36,980 We'll see who's incompetent. 273 00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:40,340 I'm gonna nail you, Curtis. 274 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:42,100 I'll nail him! 275 00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:46,250 Right... 276 00:15:48,050 --> 00:15:49,420 His most recent... 277 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:50,930 Yo! Shut up! 278 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,020 His most recent movements reveal 279 00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:56,500 that he stole the ATM on Boulevard Haussmann 280 00:15:56,660 --> 00:15:59,300 and dumped it on Place de l'Opéra. 281 00:16:02,140 --> 00:16:04,420 Boulevard Haussmann, Opéra... 282 00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:08,090 Haussmannéra... 283 00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:12,650 Connemara... 284 00:16:16,610 --> 00:16:17,740 Camera... 285 00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:21,100 Hi-fi... 286 00:16:21,820 --> 00:16:24,140 Fnac! The store! 287 00:16:24,290 --> 00:16:26,980 He's going to hold up the Fnac store! 288 00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:30,380 He's going to hold up the Fnac store. 289 00:16:30,530 --> 00:16:33,460 Boy, I'm good! The noose is tightening. 290 00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:34,820 You're trapped. 291 00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:36,290 Not now! 292 00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:37,850 Self-control. 293 00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:41,660 The jab. 294 00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:44,740 No, not now. 295 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:46,540 Genius! I know where he is! 296 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:47,620 Xavier! 297 00:16:49,850 --> 00:16:51,020 Open up! 298 00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:53,090 Daddy's not in. 299 00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:54,140 He's dead. 300 00:16:54,290 --> 00:16:55,730 It's me, Gervais! 301 00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:57,050 Open up! 302 00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,810 -Are you alone? -Stop that! 303 00:17:01,610 --> 00:17:03,740 I thought you were from Social Services. 304 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,540 Can you do my jab? 305 00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:07,060 I'll be right there. 306 00:17:09,410 --> 00:17:10,850 No... 307 00:17:15,340 --> 00:17:16,730 Itchy! 308 00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:23,540 Daddy's not in. 309 00:17:23,690 --> 00:17:24,940 It's me! 310 00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:26,210 Again! 311 00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,650 He's dead. 312 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:29,540 Xavier. 313 00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:34,220 Concierge! 314 00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:38,570 You have to learn to do your jabs yourself. 315 00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:40,460 I won't always be around for you. 316 00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:42,100 I know... 317 00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:45,500 Look, you live next door, you're my neighbor, 318 00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:48,530 you're on welfare and I pay half your rent. 319 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,540 You're not going anywhere, huh? 320 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:52,460 You still have to learn. 321 00:17:52,610 --> 00:17:54,380 You have concentration issues. 322 00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:56,540 You remember when I had a dog? 323 00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,050 I taught him a word a day. 324 00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:04,370 One day, somebody rang the doorbell. 325 00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:06,650 I was sitting here. The dog sat up 326 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:10,250 and just like that, he said "Doorbell!" 327 00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:11,900 Really? 328 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,580 He'd heard the doorbell. 329 00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:21,100 Xavier, you never had a dog. 330 00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:25,460 You can only say stuff like that to me. 331 00:18:25,610 --> 00:18:26,450 Okay. 332 00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:28,420 -Right? -Right. 333 00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:33,020 Hi, it's Curtis. What was I going to say? 334 00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:35,900 I know. I got the Bouglionis' message 335 00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:39,050 that you couldn't make our date. I mean... 336 00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:42,620 You didn't have to bother them. You could've texted me. 337 00:18:42,770 --> 00:18:44,740 -That would've been fine. -Hello. 338 00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:47,330 I'm glad you called. 339 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:51,140 I just spoke to the Bouglionis. They think they smoked you. 340 00:18:51,290 --> 00:18:53,020 I can tell them they're wrong. 341 00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:55,180 -Sure, but... -What? 342 00:18:55,970 --> 00:18:58,220 Well, the two of us. 343 00:18:58,850 --> 00:18:59,690 Yes? 344 00:19:00,650 --> 00:19:04,300 Your eyes meeting mine. I mean, we're on the same page... 345 00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:05,930 It's pretty obvious. 346 00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:07,820 The start of something... 347 00:19:08,570 --> 00:19:09,890 No, don't. 348 00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:13,180 The connection, our eyes meeting... Straight up, 349 00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:14,980 we've got something. 350 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:18,500 Hello? 351 00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:26,420 RUN FAR AWAY 352 00:19:27,890 --> 00:19:29,500 BIG TROUBLE 353 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,820 START A NEW LIFE 354 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:34,970 Why'd I buy that? 355 00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:38,860 That sucks. 356 00:19:40,130 --> 00:19:41,930 I must've been drunk! 357 00:19:44,690 --> 00:19:47,780 Curtis will walk straight into my trap. 358 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:50,140 What's more... 359 00:19:50,930 --> 00:19:54,100 tonight, with the pep pills and flask of coffee, 360 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,210 I'm smoking! 361 00:20:06,050 --> 00:20:07,220 I don't believe it. 362 00:20:07,370 --> 00:20:08,900 Doofus is here. 363 00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:14,570 It's gonna be a wonderful day. Please, this is fine. 364 00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:27,530 C'mon, Gervais, your morning run! 365 00:20:29,930 --> 00:20:30,940 Police! 366 00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:34,730 He's an outlaw! 367 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,220 Scram! 368 00:20:36,380 --> 00:20:37,900 Excuse me, move! 369 00:20:41,930 --> 00:20:44,380 -What? -What are you doing? 370 00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:49,220 Alright, go. 371 00:20:53,180 --> 00:20:54,290 Move! 372 00:20:54,460 --> 00:20:56,900 The garbage guy's gone crazy! 373 00:21:00,530 --> 00:21:01,370 Don't give a shit! 374 00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:05,420 I told you to move! 375 00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:09,020 Stop, Curtis! 376 00:21:09,170 --> 00:21:10,540 Stop! 377 00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:12,770 -Leave me alone! -Halt right there! 378 00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:14,300 Stop! 379 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:16,940 What are you doing? 380 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:18,650 Shut up! 381 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:21,890 Why's he walk leaning backward? Why are you fat? 382 00:21:22,060 --> 00:21:23,260 Shut the hell up! 383 00:21:23,420 --> 00:21:24,410 Go on, shoot! 384 00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:30,530 Why you got a gun? You got attacked by a trash can? 385 00:21:32,060 --> 00:21:34,100 Stop! Stop him! 386 00:21:37,850 --> 00:21:39,020 Leave me alone! 387 00:21:41,020 --> 00:21:42,260 Police! 388 00:22:11,980 --> 00:22:12,940 Curtis? 389 00:22:27,170 --> 00:22:28,580 What is this? 390 00:22:41,930 --> 00:22:43,250 What's going on? 391 00:22:53,090 --> 00:22:54,700 What the heck! 392 00:23:06,890 --> 00:23:08,810 This isn't funny. 393 00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:11,860 There's something wrong. 394 00:23:22,370 --> 00:23:23,450 This is stupid. 395 00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:26,020 Seriously! 396 00:23:35,450 --> 00:23:37,300 This is the Champs-Elysées! 397 00:23:53,570 --> 00:23:54,460 McDonald? 398 00:23:58,250 --> 00:24:01,010 The McDonalds have moved. They've gone. 399 00:24:07,820 --> 00:24:10,060 Cupcake, it's me. 400 00:24:10,220 --> 00:24:13,490 Avoid the Champs-Elysées, it's a total lockdown. 401 00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:15,340 God knows what they're doing. 402 00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:17,780 I didn't even hear about it at HQ. 403 00:24:17,930 --> 00:24:21,100 I can't wait to see you at the altar later. 404 00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:22,780 I hope it's mutual. 405 00:24:41,330 --> 00:24:42,530 Xavier! 406 00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:44,930 You have the wedding rings. 407 00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:48,460 Stop acting dumb! I'll have to knock down the door. 408 00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:50,260 Fine! 409 00:24:59,060 --> 00:25:00,260 Juliette! 410 00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:03,940 Sorry, I'm a policeman. I know all the tricks. 411 00:25:12,340 --> 00:25:14,140 Open! 412 00:25:16,940 --> 00:25:18,500 Juliette! 413 00:25:33,820 --> 00:25:36,170 Good evening, Mrs. Abbababa, 414 00:25:36,890 --> 00:25:40,490 this is Inspector Gervais Blondot. I'd like to know... 415 00:25:41,090 --> 00:25:43,130 This may sound strange. 416 00:25:43,300 --> 00:25:45,170 ... if you're there? 417 00:25:47,780 --> 00:25:48,740 Hello? 418 00:25:50,570 --> 00:25:51,740 Fine. 419 00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:56,540 Please call Inspector Blondot as soon as you can. 420 00:26:03,620 --> 00:26:06,620 Good evening, Mr. Aggaga, I'm calling you 421 00:26:06,770 --> 00:26:10,820 with regard to lots of people's simultaneous disappearance. 422 00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:14,780 Please call when you get back from your absence. 423 00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:20,980 Good evening, 424 00:26:21,140 --> 00:26:22,250 Mr. Ababoubou. 425 00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:23,450 Sorry... 426 00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:25,420 This is Inspector 427 00:26:25,580 --> 00:26:28,010 Gervais Blondot from the first precinct. 428 00:26:28,180 --> 00:26:30,620 Please call me as soon as you're back 429 00:26:30,770 --> 00:26:34,060 from this absence phenomenon. 430 00:26:35,090 --> 00:26:36,500 That's so rude! 431 00:26:38,570 --> 00:26:39,530 Good evening... 432 00:26:39,700 --> 00:26:41,260 There are always people here! 433 00:26:44,210 --> 00:26:45,260 Lots of Arabs. 434 00:26:45,410 --> 00:26:47,210 Where are you, Arab people? 435 00:26:49,540 --> 00:26:52,970 The Arabs and the Blacks! Have you all gone home? 436 00:27:00,050 --> 00:27:03,890 Please call me urgently if you're here. 437 00:27:04,060 --> 00:27:06,140 C'mon! 438 00:27:06,290 --> 00:27:08,690 Good evening, Mrs. A. Benamar... 439 00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:10,660 This is... 440 00:27:10,820 --> 00:27:14,450 You should know you're not alone. I'm alone, too. 441 00:27:14,620 --> 00:27:17,540 If there's two of you, we can be three. 442 00:27:17,980 --> 00:27:20,420 There's strength in numbers! 443 00:27:21,020 --> 00:27:23,020 No reply from the A. Benamars. 444 00:27:30,620 --> 00:27:33,700 Police! Come out of your hiding places! 445 00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:48,290 Jean-Pierre? 446 00:27:48,460 --> 00:27:49,850 Speak to me! 447 00:27:53,860 --> 00:27:55,060 Jean-Pierre! 448 00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:11,810 Calling all... 449 00:28:14,500 --> 00:28:15,700 Paris! 450 00:28:19,340 --> 00:28:20,500 It's all gone quiet! 451 00:28:21,380 --> 00:28:22,460 Paris! 452 00:28:24,410 --> 00:28:26,210 It's all gone quiet! 453 00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:33,050 Good evening, 454 00:28:33,220 --> 00:28:34,460 Mr. Zrivo... 455 00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:37,010 Zryvecowski! It's not hard. 456 00:28:37,180 --> 00:28:39,410 Yes! Zibodibiski! 457 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:42,580 Are you some joker? 458 00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:43,940 I'll hang up. 459 00:28:44,090 --> 00:28:45,530 No! Don't! 460 00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:48,770 Just kidding! Talk after the beep, suckers! 461 00:28:53,570 --> 00:28:56,780 Sick of people and their dumbass messages! 462 00:28:56,930 --> 00:28:59,810 Zissorkivich, you're not funny! 463 00:29:02,020 --> 00:29:03,740 That one's done. 464 00:29:08,780 --> 00:29:09,890 Cupcake, 465 00:29:10,060 --> 00:29:12,220 I'm starting to believe the Greek poet 466 00:29:12,380 --> 00:29:14,450 who said that one missing person 467 00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:16,610 makes the world seem empty. 468 00:29:16,780 --> 00:29:17,660 There! 469 00:29:18,100 --> 00:29:21,500 I've left the sum of 35 euros. 470 00:29:21,650 --> 00:29:24,460 Where are you all? I don't get this. 471 00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:26,260 There, Juliette. 472 00:29:27,140 --> 00:29:29,570 I love you, my darling Juliette. 473 00:29:30,860 --> 00:29:32,260 For all my life! 474 00:29:34,100 --> 00:29:36,100 Day eight without people, 475 00:29:36,260 --> 00:29:38,020 case of the pickpockets 476 00:29:38,180 --> 00:29:39,460 at Charles-de-Gaulle solved. 477 00:29:39,620 --> 00:29:41,450 There are no more... 478 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:43,660 pickpockets. 479 00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:49,580 Pickpockets... Done. 480 00:29:50,060 --> 00:29:52,660 How do they enter internet? 481 00:29:54,020 --> 00:29:55,580 There must be a key. 482 00:29:57,500 --> 00:29:58,540 Internet key... 483 00:29:58,700 --> 00:30:00,530 How does Caro do it? 484 00:30:01,850 --> 00:30:03,020 Internet... 485 00:30:03,890 --> 00:30:05,740 Maybe it's voice activated. 486 00:30:06,860 --> 00:30:07,970 Internet! 487 00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:17,420 Stéphane never tidies his desk. 488 00:30:17,570 --> 00:30:20,300 We have waste baskets. This is France! 489 00:30:22,820 --> 00:30:23,900 Internet! 490 00:30:26,180 --> 00:30:27,340 Thank you! 491 00:30:31,130 --> 00:30:32,620 Thank you, Blondot! 492 00:30:43,820 --> 00:30:45,530 Ben Johnson! Ben Johnson! 493 00:30:45,700 --> 00:30:47,020 Come on! 494 00:30:57,260 --> 00:30:58,940 I'm not all alone! 495 00:30:59,570 --> 00:31:01,610 I'm not alone, yay! 496 00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:22,370 Oh no... 497 00:31:24,460 --> 00:31:25,820 Shit! 498 00:31:59,780 --> 00:32:00,940 I love this LP! 499 00:32:26,860 --> 00:32:28,460 And... Now! Now! 500 00:32:55,420 --> 00:32:57,100 The Pentagon! 501 00:32:57,700 --> 00:33:00,340 Clear view of all nine sides. 502 00:33:02,450 --> 00:33:03,380 Shit! 503 00:33:04,610 --> 00:33:05,620 Let's go! 504 00:33:10,060 --> 00:33:11,780 What the hell's going on? 505 00:33:13,010 --> 00:33:14,740 Shit. Come on! 506 00:33:19,100 --> 00:33:20,210 Someone! 507 00:33:23,380 --> 00:33:24,410 My wheel. 508 00:33:33,050 --> 00:33:35,260 Yes! Gently does it. 509 00:33:36,770 --> 00:33:38,300 Where you going? Hold on! 510 00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:41,570 The tire... 511 00:33:41,740 --> 00:33:43,540 I've got no wheel and no brake. 512 00:33:52,340 --> 00:33:54,020 Thank God, no one can see me. 513 00:33:57,860 --> 00:33:59,780 You are so beautiful to me 514 00:34:08,900 --> 00:34:11,780 Please accept this gift, 515 00:34:12,340 --> 00:34:15,650 it captures my mood perfectly. 516 00:34:20,060 --> 00:34:21,460 I miss you. 517 00:34:22,660 --> 00:34:25,340 Your Gentle-Oriental, Curtis. 518 00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:28,100 Suspect has stolen 519 00:34:28,250 --> 00:34:30,050 various sports cars, 520 00:34:30,460 --> 00:34:33,340 such as a McLaren, 521 00:34:33,740 --> 00:34:35,020 even though he... 522 00:34:37,820 --> 00:34:39,290 What did I write? 523 00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:46,850 We have a problem. 524 00:34:49,340 --> 00:34:51,500 C'mon, be brave. 525 00:34:56,690 --> 00:34:58,220 It's okay. 526 00:35:11,620 --> 00:35:12,580 Pompidou! 527 00:35:39,380 --> 00:35:41,210 I wasn't asleep. 528 00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:43,100 I wasn't! 529 00:35:44,930 --> 00:35:48,100 Remember to erase security cam tapes. 530 00:35:49,300 --> 00:35:53,450 We remind you that all exchanges take place at Register 29. 531 00:35:53,620 --> 00:35:55,730 That's terrible parking. 532 00:35:58,250 --> 00:36:00,140 Ride a bike, sucker! 533 00:36:00,290 --> 00:36:03,980 Ladies and gentlemen, the store will soon be closing. 534 00:36:04,130 --> 00:36:06,700 Can you bring us up more Charles Aznavour? 535 00:36:07,610 --> 00:36:10,940 Please proceed to the nearest register. 536 00:36:11,900 --> 00:36:14,380 This way, you'll get the message, dumbo. 537 00:36:15,770 --> 00:36:17,450 Even if you can't read very well. 538 00:36:18,140 --> 00:36:19,970 Let's go. 539 00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:59,450 OKAY, CURTIS, HALT RIGHT THERE 540 00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:06,860 I've gotta get out more. 541 00:37:09,100 --> 00:37:11,330 We live and die together. 542 00:37:12,820 --> 00:37:15,530 We won't get ten chances today. Make them count. 543 00:37:15,980 --> 00:37:17,620 Our strength... Shit! 544 00:37:22,060 --> 00:37:22,900 Thank you. 545 00:37:23,060 --> 00:37:26,020 Thank you, France! We'll bust our guts for you! 546 00:37:33,050 --> 00:37:34,420 Let's go, guys! 547 00:37:35,450 --> 00:37:36,980 C'mon! 548 00:37:37,130 --> 00:37:39,170 Through ball, triangle. 549 00:37:39,340 --> 00:37:41,300 Kick feint, square-X. 550 00:37:41,450 --> 00:37:42,820 Sprint, R1! 551 00:37:42,980 --> 00:37:44,300 Ready? 552 00:37:46,900 --> 00:37:48,580 Tenth day with no news of Curtis. 553 00:37:48,740 --> 00:37:51,220 His movements follow no logic. 554 00:37:51,620 --> 00:37:53,380 It doesn't represent anything. 555 00:37:55,970 --> 00:37:59,020 He hasn't been to Place de la Nation once. 556 00:38:00,860 --> 00:38:01,730 Shoot. 557 00:38:04,610 --> 00:38:05,540 Cut it out! 558 00:38:07,610 --> 00:38:08,780 That's so dumb! 559 00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:11,060 Xavier! 560 00:38:14,300 --> 00:38:15,340 Stop! 561 00:38:16,580 --> 00:38:18,290 Stupid damn system! 562 00:38:20,140 --> 00:38:21,260 No, stop! 563 00:38:21,410 --> 00:38:22,540 Mommy! 564 00:38:38,060 --> 00:38:39,340 I'm stuck! 565 00:38:45,140 --> 00:38:46,370 Someone! 566 00:38:57,410 --> 00:38:58,250 Zidane! 567 00:39:01,370 --> 00:39:02,810 The lights! 568 00:39:06,050 --> 00:39:07,610 Sleep, rest... 569 00:39:14,900 --> 00:39:16,060 Like that... 570 00:39:17,180 --> 00:39:18,940 And that goes... 571 00:39:20,570 --> 00:39:21,980 there like that. 572 00:39:23,660 --> 00:39:25,060 What can that possibly... 573 00:39:30,460 --> 00:39:31,940 A beaver! 574 00:39:32,620 --> 00:39:34,340 With a cell phone. 575 00:39:36,890 --> 00:39:38,620 A beaver with a cell phone. 576 00:39:39,650 --> 00:39:41,500 A beaver with a cell phone? 577 00:39:41,660 --> 00:39:42,620 No... 578 00:39:44,140 --> 00:39:44,980 Yes. 579 00:39:46,490 --> 00:39:48,410 A beaver with a cell phone. 580 00:39:50,300 --> 00:39:51,980 Beaver phone... 581 00:39:52,540 --> 00:39:53,780 Beaver fu... 582 00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:55,660 Kung fu! 583 00:39:56,210 --> 00:39:57,740 He's in Chinatown! 584 00:39:57,890 --> 00:39:58,780 Hey, Doofus! 585 00:39:59,380 --> 00:40:00,340 Are you there? 586 00:40:02,060 --> 00:40:03,170 Gervais? 587 00:40:04,370 --> 00:40:05,900 Shit! 588 00:40:06,940 --> 00:40:09,530 Gervais! I'll count to three, then I'm gone. 589 00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:10,780 Cutie pie punk! 590 00:40:11,930 --> 00:40:13,370 I'll throw you in jail! 591 00:40:30,260 --> 00:40:31,490 His vehicle 592 00:40:31,660 --> 00:40:33,650 is totally unsuited to the city. 593 00:40:34,850 --> 00:40:36,620 Oh shit! 594 00:40:36,860 --> 00:40:38,380 Come on! 595 00:40:46,100 --> 00:40:46,970 Curtis! 596 00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:58,850 What's the code? 597 00:40:59,020 --> 00:41:00,500 Five-two-one-eight. 598 00:41:03,340 --> 00:41:04,180 Thanks. 599 00:41:04,940 --> 00:41:05,900 Stop! 600 00:41:14,900 --> 00:41:17,810 This isn't funny. Can't you see there's just us? 601 00:41:22,100 --> 00:41:24,580 Sadly for you, I have a head for heights. 602 00:41:24,740 --> 00:41:27,140 I'm half-Comanche and half-Norman. 603 00:41:27,290 --> 00:41:29,450 Right. And a hundred percent fat slob. 604 00:41:29,620 --> 00:41:30,770 Touché. 605 00:41:32,020 --> 00:41:32,900 Let me go now! 606 00:41:37,660 --> 00:41:39,770 -Freeze! -Calm down. 607 00:41:39,940 --> 00:41:42,020 Hands on your head! 608 00:41:42,170 --> 00:41:43,940 Good to see you. 609 00:41:44,540 --> 00:41:46,820 All the people have gone... 610 00:41:46,970 --> 00:41:47,900 Shut up! 611 00:41:48,050 --> 00:41:50,620 My God. It's the best day of my life! 612 00:41:56,660 --> 00:42:00,100 You go in and out of my life. Ten years on the run! 613 00:42:02,300 --> 00:42:04,780 It feels so good! Shit! 614 00:42:06,820 --> 00:42:07,700 Stay... 615 00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:15,140 Stay there, it's a dead end. 616 00:42:15,290 --> 00:42:16,300 You can't run. 617 00:42:16,970 --> 00:42:18,050 Watch me. 618 00:42:27,580 --> 00:42:29,090 How'd I do that? 619 00:42:32,330 --> 00:42:34,130 How'd he do that? 620 00:42:34,490 --> 00:42:36,740 Stop your ass! Halt your ass! 621 00:42:36,890 --> 00:42:38,450 Carl Lewis! 622 00:42:38,620 --> 00:42:39,740 Halt right there. 623 00:42:44,450 --> 00:42:49,060 PARIS WAXWORKS MUSEUM ENTRANCE - EXIT 624 00:43:28,340 --> 00:43:30,460 Say goodbye to the family, let's go. 625 00:43:32,450 --> 00:43:33,530 Sure. 626 00:43:34,010 --> 00:43:36,340 -Tito, Jermaine... -C'mon, Michael. 627 00:43:37,250 --> 00:43:38,300 See you, bros. 628 00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:41,860 Dinner time! 629 00:43:44,690 --> 00:43:46,900 There you are, Curtis. 630 00:43:47,540 --> 00:43:49,010 Where else would you be? 631 00:43:50,180 --> 00:43:52,060 I braised you some chicken. 632 00:43:52,540 --> 00:43:55,130 You'll see, it's chicken and mash. 633 00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:57,620 I bought it at the farmer's market. 634 00:44:05,930 --> 00:44:07,700 Wake up, Curtis. 635 00:44:13,900 --> 00:44:15,260 Give me the key. 636 00:44:15,410 --> 00:44:17,810 -Give me the key now! -Whatcha gonna do? 637 00:44:17,980 --> 00:44:19,900 You gonna eat me like all the others? 638 00:44:20,060 --> 00:44:21,100 You ate them! 639 00:44:21,260 --> 00:44:23,930 -You're nuts! I didn't eat anyone! -Cannibal! 640 00:44:24,100 --> 00:44:25,540 -The key! -Look! 641 00:44:29,140 --> 00:44:31,180 Don't do that. Give me the key. 642 00:44:31,340 --> 00:44:33,580 -Give it! -They're over there. 643 00:44:38,660 --> 00:44:42,020 -Go get the key. -You're going to jail. 644 00:44:42,170 --> 00:44:43,060 I'm there already. 645 00:44:43,220 --> 00:44:46,100 You deserve worse, worse than torture. 646 00:44:46,250 --> 00:44:47,900 What's that? 647 00:44:48,050 --> 00:44:51,460 You're gonna put me down like a dog? Is that your plan? 648 00:44:51,620 --> 00:44:52,780 This is different. 649 00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:55,730 I have minor, very minor issues... 650 00:44:55,900 --> 00:44:59,570 -What kind? -About controlling my nerves. 651 00:44:59,740 --> 00:45:01,940 -The jab's for you? -Yes. 652 00:45:02,090 --> 00:45:03,820 It's a small injection 653 00:45:03,980 --> 00:45:06,820 that I have to give myself but... 654 00:45:06,980 --> 00:45:08,020 You're totally spaced! 655 00:45:08,740 --> 00:45:11,540 On the contrary, I'm perfectly lucid. 656 00:45:12,220 --> 00:45:14,060 -Lucid? Open up. -More than you! 657 00:45:14,210 --> 00:45:16,130 Yeah, you look really lucid. 658 00:45:16,850 --> 00:45:18,410 That's so totally lucid. 659 00:45:18,580 --> 00:45:19,900 -That's mean. -Shut up! 660 00:45:20,060 --> 00:45:21,770 -Open up! -Can it, bitch! 661 00:45:22,300 --> 00:45:24,940 -Can it? You locked me up! -Wasn't talking to you. 662 00:45:27,530 --> 00:45:30,340 Could you give me a tiny injection 663 00:45:30,500 --> 00:45:33,820 to cure the nerve problem I get at night? Midnight! 664 00:45:33,980 --> 00:45:34,940 Happy New Year! 665 00:45:35,260 --> 00:45:36,650 Bubbly! 666 00:45:36,820 --> 00:45:39,020 You're nuts! No way am I giving you a jab. 667 00:45:39,170 --> 00:45:40,970 Six milliliters. 668 00:45:41,500 --> 00:45:44,210 -Please. -You lock me up. Why'd I do that? 669 00:45:44,380 --> 00:45:46,370 I'll mention it in your file. 670 00:45:46,540 --> 00:45:49,060 Because you have a file on me? 671 00:45:50,140 --> 00:45:52,100 We have a lot to pin on you. 672 00:45:52,250 --> 00:45:54,460 Who're you gonna tell? We're all alone. 673 00:45:54,620 --> 00:45:56,420 You gonna tell it to a judge? 674 00:45:57,500 --> 00:46:00,020 Go find one. He can give you your jab, too. 675 00:46:00,460 --> 00:46:02,300 -Please. -No, no please. 676 00:46:02,780 --> 00:46:03,650 Get the key. 677 00:46:04,580 --> 00:46:05,540 First, you... 678 00:46:05,690 --> 00:46:07,060 I'll do it when I'm out. 679 00:46:08,090 --> 00:46:09,530 I said outside. 680 00:46:14,420 --> 00:46:15,410 Put the key in. 681 00:46:15,580 --> 00:46:17,260 -I won't run. -I don't trust you. 682 00:46:17,420 --> 00:46:19,610 -The key! -Rub my arm. 683 00:46:20,540 --> 00:46:21,580 No, you "wo-wo". 684 00:46:21,740 --> 00:46:23,330 Don't "wo-wo" me! 685 00:46:23,500 --> 00:46:25,300 -Rub. -Put the key in. 686 00:46:26,260 --> 00:46:28,220 Calm down, I'm rubbing. Turn the key. 687 00:46:28,370 --> 00:46:30,410 -The syringe... -Turn the key. 688 00:46:30,580 --> 00:46:32,140 -Jab. -Turn. 689 00:46:32,300 --> 00:46:33,290 -I'm jabbing. -Press. 690 00:46:33,460 --> 00:46:34,610 -I'm pressing. -I'm turning. 691 00:46:38,020 --> 00:46:38,930 There you go! 692 00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:44,900 I got you there, my friend! 693 00:46:45,460 --> 00:46:46,700 See you later. 694 00:46:47,180 --> 00:46:49,580 Report in every day at four p.m., okay? 695 00:46:49,730 --> 00:46:51,820 Sure! I'll be there at four. 696 00:47:11,300 --> 00:47:13,010 Thank God, no one saw me. 697 00:47:17,660 --> 00:47:18,650 That's pretty. 698 00:47:20,540 --> 00:47:22,010 Souvenir photo. 699 00:47:22,180 --> 00:47:23,500 Isn't that Curtis? 700 00:47:23,660 --> 00:47:24,530 Sure is. 701 00:47:24,860 --> 00:47:26,660 GERVAIS = MY BITCH 702 00:47:31,300 --> 00:47:33,650 The tree of knowledge. 703 00:47:42,740 --> 00:47:44,260 Sorry. 'Scuse me. 704 00:47:46,370 --> 00:47:47,210 'Scuse me. 705 00:49:09,460 --> 00:49:11,690 It's MC Curtis One, two 706 00:49:11,860 --> 00:49:13,820 C-U-R-T-I-S 707 00:49:13,970 --> 00:49:16,340 Mr. Lover Curtis 708 00:49:18,650 --> 00:49:20,140 Gotta be ready. 709 00:49:20,930 --> 00:49:22,220 Want a merguez? 710 00:49:24,820 --> 00:49:26,500 Don't you miss chicks? 711 00:49:29,140 --> 00:49:30,860 What are you anyway, a chick? 712 00:49:35,210 --> 00:49:37,460 Whatever, you've got something special. 713 00:49:39,980 --> 00:49:43,180 Anyways, you're special. 714 00:49:44,660 --> 00:49:46,370 After how long without people, 715 00:49:46,900 --> 00:49:50,810 would you start to need a little loving? 716 00:49:50,980 --> 00:49:53,180 How long can you hold out? 717 00:49:57,860 --> 00:49:59,180 Got any taboos? 718 00:50:01,300 --> 00:50:06,410 Good Tag, ich bin Inspektor Blondot from Frankreich police. 719 00:50:07,060 --> 00:50:08,570 Ich call Sie up 720 00:50:08,740 --> 00:50:12,260 weil in Paris nicht nobody ist. 721 00:50:12,410 --> 00:50:13,820 Ich bin vanished. 722 00:50:14,180 --> 00:50:15,650 Ich bin nicht kaputt. 723 00:50:16,100 --> 00:50:17,180 Was ist das? 724 00:50:17,810 --> 00:50:19,580 Ja, people in Baden-Baden. 725 00:50:19,730 --> 00:50:22,100 Call ich on 726 00:50:22,250 --> 00:50:25,700 zero-three-four-three... 727 00:50:25,850 --> 00:50:27,770 five-four-four-one. 728 00:50:27,980 --> 00:50:29,300 Thanks. Danke schön. 729 00:50:31,370 --> 00:50:32,570 How you doing? 730 00:50:33,220 --> 00:50:35,090 I'm working. What do you want? 731 00:50:36,050 --> 00:50:38,570 You told me to report in, so here I am. 732 00:50:39,170 --> 00:50:42,940 I told you to be there next day. That was a week ago. 733 00:50:43,100 --> 00:50:45,220 I had stuff to do. 734 00:50:45,380 --> 00:50:46,940 Now, I have stuff to do. 735 00:50:47,090 --> 00:50:48,260 -Like what? -Work. 736 00:50:48,410 --> 00:50:49,900 -Such as? -Work. 737 00:50:50,060 --> 00:50:51,260 I have work to do, too. 738 00:50:51,410 --> 00:50:54,530 If you want to report in, come back at four p.m. 739 00:50:54,700 --> 00:50:57,500 Don't bust my balls with your rules, we're all alone! 740 00:50:57,650 --> 00:50:58,540 What good are rules? 741 00:50:58,700 --> 00:51:00,820 We're not all alone! 742 00:51:00,980 --> 00:51:03,700 It's a temporary situation. I'd finished it! 743 00:51:04,100 --> 00:51:04,940 Get off me! 744 00:51:05,090 --> 00:51:08,900 This phenomenon already happened, in Nevada in 1964. 745 00:51:09,050 --> 00:51:10,970 A whole village disappeared 746 00:51:11,140 --> 00:51:13,420 and reappeared next day 30 miles away. 747 00:51:13,940 --> 00:51:15,580 I heard about that. 748 00:51:15,740 --> 00:51:17,140 It was a fairground. 749 00:51:18,100 --> 00:51:19,100 -Really? -Yes. 750 00:51:22,490 --> 00:51:23,690 Sounds logical. 751 00:51:26,860 --> 00:51:28,100 Excuse me... 752 00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:33,260 Are you married? I don't recall from your file. 753 00:51:34,250 --> 00:51:35,330 Polygamous. 754 00:51:35,810 --> 00:51:37,180 Right! "Lopygamous". 755 00:51:37,940 --> 00:51:39,100 Polygamous. 756 00:51:40,060 --> 00:51:41,180 So you've had sex? 757 00:51:41,330 --> 00:51:44,180 Pardon me? "So you've had sex"? 758 00:51:44,780 --> 00:51:46,180 -I was just... -Say that again! 759 00:51:46,340 --> 00:51:47,450 We've all had sex. 760 00:51:47,620 --> 00:51:50,300 What kinda question is that? You've never had sex? 761 00:51:50,450 --> 00:51:51,620 -Sure. -You haven't! 762 00:51:51,770 --> 00:51:54,380 -I wanted to know if you had. -You can see I have. 763 00:51:54,530 --> 00:51:57,050 -Me, too. -No, you've never had sex. 764 00:51:57,220 --> 00:51:59,300 Shame on you! You've never had sex! 765 00:51:59,450 --> 00:52:00,890 -I have. You do this. -No way! 766 00:52:01,060 --> 00:52:03,460 -I've already done it. -What's it feel like? 767 00:52:03,620 --> 00:52:05,930 Like you're shivering with gooseflesh. 768 00:52:07,100 --> 00:52:10,540 Of course, I've had sex. At least, I was going to... 769 00:52:10,700 --> 00:52:12,290 What do I care anyway! 770 00:52:12,860 --> 00:52:15,580 Isn't this whack? There's nobody here. 771 00:52:18,340 --> 00:52:19,540 Nobody answers. 772 00:52:19,700 --> 00:52:21,260 Absolutely wax. 773 00:52:21,410 --> 00:52:22,420 Whack! 774 00:52:22,580 --> 00:52:23,860 Whack. 775 00:52:24,020 --> 00:52:25,100 Whack. 776 00:52:26,740 --> 00:52:28,580 I never saw anything so spooking. 777 00:52:28,730 --> 00:52:30,260 Spooky. 778 00:52:30,580 --> 00:52:31,940 You don't say spooking. 779 00:52:33,170 --> 00:52:36,100 It's totally out-far. I remember the first time... 780 00:52:36,260 --> 00:52:38,090 Sorry? Totally out where? 781 00:52:38,930 --> 00:52:41,620 Out-far. Get with it, it's street. 782 00:52:41,780 --> 00:52:45,100 To think it's two weeks I shoulda been married. 783 00:52:45,260 --> 00:52:46,820 Ring on the finger! 784 00:52:46,970 --> 00:52:48,260 Eleven carats. 785 00:52:48,770 --> 00:52:49,940 The big cheese. 786 00:52:50,090 --> 00:52:51,380 Tough shit. 787 00:52:51,770 --> 00:52:54,530 I don't mind. I should be dead by now. 788 00:52:54,700 --> 00:52:57,020 This is cool. Better to travel alone than... 789 00:52:57,170 --> 00:52:58,370 travel dead. 790 00:52:59,690 --> 00:53:01,730 You wanna see something wild? 791 00:53:03,410 --> 00:53:04,460 Put that away. 792 00:53:04,610 --> 00:53:05,570 Done with the Bs. 793 00:53:05,740 --> 00:53:07,610 I wanna show you something. 794 00:53:07,780 --> 00:53:08,690 Thanks. 795 00:53:09,220 --> 00:53:11,420 Welcome to the Petit Palais Museum. 796 00:53:11,570 --> 00:53:13,610 Opposite is the Grand Palais. 797 00:53:13,780 --> 00:53:17,140 Two months ago, you could've seen the Medium Palais. 798 00:53:17,300 --> 00:53:19,220 -But they sold it to the US. -Really? 799 00:53:19,370 --> 00:53:22,130 They called it the Medium Palace. 800 00:53:22,460 --> 00:53:25,220 Watch out, I've waxed the floor. 801 00:53:26,570 --> 00:53:27,820 That's so whack. 802 00:53:27,980 --> 00:53:29,780 No, I said waxed... 803 00:53:31,700 --> 00:53:33,170 I bashed up my wrist. 804 00:53:33,340 --> 00:53:36,050 If you go charging into statues... Curtis Expo? 805 00:53:36,220 --> 00:53:38,140 It's where I keep my paintings. 806 00:53:38,300 --> 00:53:39,580 What's that? 807 00:53:39,740 --> 00:53:41,930 The Arch of the Foot. 808 00:53:42,860 --> 00:53:44,500 -You took that? -From NYC. 809 00:53:45,050 --> 00:53:45,890 And that? 810 00:53:46,060 --> 00:53:48,700 The Mannskin Pis... 811 00:53:49,610 --> 00:53:52,420 -It's bigger than I thought. -Five meters. 812 00:53:52,580 --> 00:53:53,420 Okay? 813 00:53:53,570 --> 00:53:56,260 Herbal Medicine Laboratory! Perfect! 814 00:53:57,410 --> 00:53:58,660 This is perfect. 815 00:53:58,820 --> 00:54:00,100 It's full of plants. 816 00:54:00,260 --> 00:54:02,690 Medicines all come from plants. 817 00:54:03,770 --> 00:54:06,700 You mean that can cure me? All of that? 818 00:54:07,250 --> 00:54:08,810 Does that cure wrists? 819 00:54:09,500 --> 00:54:12,100 Aldrovanda vesiculosa? I don't think so. 820 00:54:12,620 --> 00:54:14,780 That's for the... 821 00:54:14,930 --> 00:54:15,770 eyelids. 822 00:54:15,940 --> 00:54:18,220 If you have stiff or achy eyelids. 823 00:54:18,380 --> 00:54:21,500 -Stiff eyelids? -It happens. Photographers... 824 00:54:21,650 --> 00:54:23,140 How'd you know all this? 825 00:54:23,300 --> 00:54:26,140 I already told you, my grandfather 826 00:54:26,300 --> 00:54:27,940 was a Chivaro... 827 00:54:29,180 --> 00:54:30,460 of the Comanche tribe. 828 00:54:30,890 --> 00:54:33,380 If my grandfather could see this. 829 00:54:33,530 --> 00:54:35,380 Let's analyze... 830 00:54:36,050 --> 00:54:38,180 Perfect! Sarsaparilla! 831 00:54:38,330 --> 00:54:39,340 You talk Smurf? 832 00:54:39,500 --> 00:54:41,740 No, Peyo stole it from the Comanches. 833 00:54:41,900 --> 00:54:45,140 The Indians used it on holes, mostly arrow holes. 834 00:54:45,290 --> 00:54:46,130 Your sleeve. 835 00:54:46,610 --> 00:54:48,340 -Here goes. -You're sure? 836 00:54:48,500 --> 00:54:49,460 Certain. 837 00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:55,420 Pardon me? 838 00:54:57,770 --> 00:54:58,610 What's all that? 839 00:54:58,780 --> 00:55:01,820 Comanche incantations. My grandfather taught me. 840 00:55:03,100 --> 00:55:04,490 Stop, it's itching. 841 00:55:04,940 --> 00:55:06,580 Stop it! It's itching. 842 00:55:07,220 --> 00:55:08,330 Maybe I got it wrong. 843 00:55:08,500 --> 00:55:10,900 -My wrist's stiff and swollen! -Let's analyze it. 844 00:55:14,740 --> 00:55:16,300 Stop whining. 845 00:55:16,460 --> 00:55:19,060 No, it's a herb you use on leather. 846 00:55:19,220 --> 00:55:21,500 -It's leathera anatanae. -It's your sleeve! 847 00:55:22,490 --> 00:55:24,580 -What? -That's your sleeve. 848 00:55:25,900 --> 00:55:26,740 Sorry. 849 00:55:26,900 --> 00:55:29,300 Do something, I can't stand it. 850 00:55:29,860 --> 00:55:32,180 The plant has like tiny piranhas 851 00:55:32,330 --> 00:55:33,980 attacking each other... 852 00:55:34,130 --> 00:55:36,980 They look pretty hyper. I'd hate that on my skin. 853 00:55:37,130 --> 00:55:39,140 Are you nuts? It's totally itching! 854 00:55:39,290 --> 00:55:40,220 We'll find a cream. 855 00:55:40,370 --> 00:55:42,700 No way! You made a dick out of me! 856 00:55:42,860 --> 00:55:43,970 I'm a police officer! 857 00:55:45,620 --> 00:55:47,420 My eye! You got it in my eye! 858 00:55:47,570 --> 00:55:49,180 My God, I can't see! 859 00:55:49,850 --> 00:55:52,900 Can we go home now? There's nobody anywhere! 860 00:55:53,060 --> 00:55:57,140 But there'll be people in Marseille. We'll definitely find someone. 861 00:55:57,290 --> 00:55:58,780 How are you gonna find them? 862 00:55:58,940 --> 00:56:02,210 With my state of the art police antennas, 863 00:56:02,380 --> 00:56:06,500 I can detect signs of life 200 meters away. 864 00:56:13,940 --> 00:56:17,210 Von Strudel, ve vill go round ze Maginot... 865 00:56:17,380 --> 00:56:18,220 Stop it. 866 00:56:19,010 --> 00:56:20,420 Give me a hand. 867 00:56:20,570 --> 00:56:23,060 Come here, I have something to tell you. 868 00:56:23,380 --> 00:56:24,220 What? 869 00:56:24,700 --> 00:56:26,420 My real name isn't Curtis. 870 00:56:27,290 --> 00:56:30,530 My real name is Abdelkader. I'm Arab. 871 00:56:31,130 --> 00:56:32,300 What? 872 00:56:32,450 --> 00:56:33,500 I never told you. 873 00:56:33,650 --> 00:56:35,210 You can't be serious. 874 00:56:35,860 --> 00:56:37,130 I am serious. 875 00:56:37,300 --> 00:56:38,690 You make me sick! 876 00:56:38,860 --> 00:56:39,860 Chill. 877 00:56:40,340 --> 00:56:41,570 Calm down! 878 00:56:42,140 --> 00:56:43,460 He says he's an Arab. 879 00:56:43,610 --> 00:56:46,010 You make me sick! 880 00:56:46,180 --> 00:56:48,980 -Why? 'Cos I'm Arab. -No, 'cos you lied to me. 881 00:56:49,130 --> 00:56:50,060 Calm down. 882 00:56:50,210 --> 00:56:52,730 Mr. Curtis from Argentina, he said. 883 00:56:53,260 --> 00:56:55,340 I'm Abdelkader from Argenteuil. 884 00:56:56,140 --> 00:56:58,700 You created one hell of an alter-ego. 885 00:57:00,820 --> 00:57:03,340 Anyway, half a confession's better than a nun. 886 00:57:04,370 --> 00:57:05,980 You've won yourself a beatnik. 887 00:57:06,140 --> 00:57:07,940 You brought a picnic? 888 00:57:08,090 --> 00:57:10,490 Yeah, for Abdelkader from Argenteuil. 889 00:57:10,940 --> 00:57:12,940 That's so sweet. 890 00:57:13,100 --> 00:57:14,330 -Gervais? -What? 891 00:57:14,930 --> 00:57:17,980 It's the first time in decades anyone's cooked for me. 892 00:57:18,500 --> 00:57:22,300 Cut it out. Your Ma cooked for you when you were a kid. 893 00:57:22,460 --> 00:57:25,060 -You're joking! -Here, tabouleh. Merguez... 894 00:57:25,220 --> 00:57:27,140 My Ma never looked after me like this. 895 00:57:27,290 --> 00:57:30,530 Yeah, I know. I saw a documentary about Arabs once. 896 00:57:30,700 --> 00:57:33,580 After the birth, you're left to fend for yourself. 897 00:57:33,740 --> 00:57:35,810 You're mixing us up with hyenas. 898 00:57:36,860 --> 00:57:37,970 If you're Arab, 899 00:57:38,300 --> 00:57:39,650 you don't eat chips. 900 00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:41,860 No, I don't eat chips. 901 00:57:42,940 --> 00:57:46,220 I'll eat your share and I'll give you my egg. 902 00:57:47,540 --> 00:57:49,490 I never told anyone this... 903 00:57:50,420 --> 00:57:51,940 I must have been 11 904 00:57:52,100 --> 00:57:54,020 and to get my parents' attention, 905 00:57:54,170 --> 00:57:56,210 I worked hard at school for once. 906 00:57:57,460 --> 00:57:59,300 I got 11 out of 20 in Math. 907 00:57:59,810 --> 00:58:01,580 And when you were 12, you got 12? 908 00:58:03,890 --> 00:58:04,730 Sorry. 909 00:58:06,820 --> 00:58:09,050 It was Math that you had to... 910 00:58:09,220 --> 00:58:13,180 You guys are good at Math. I mean, didn't you invent Math? 911 00:58:14,180 --> 00:58:16,420 Sorry. I'm listening to you. 912 00:58:17,180 --> 00:58:18,980 I take my test home... 913 00:58:19,340 --> 00:58:20,930 No reaction from my folks. 914 00:58:21,620 --> 00:58:22,700 That's hard-boiled! 915 00:58:25,660 --> 00:58:27,770 After three days, I go to see my Ma... 916 00:58:28,340 --> 00:58:31,180 I look at her, and she grunts: "Not bad." 917 00:58:31,340 --> 00:58:32,980 Not bad, not bad... 918 00:58:33,140 --> 00:58:34,820 My Ma speaks French. 919 00:58:36,860 --> 00:58:38,780 It was only 11 out of 20. 920 00:58:38,930 --> 00:58:40,850 For me, 11's a great score. 921 00:58:41,020 --> 00:58:42,260 No kidding! 922 00:58:44,020 --> 00:58:46,010 Getting 11 was a real achievement. 923 00:58:46,180 --> 00:58:48,620 And her "not bad" really pissed me off! 924 00:58:49,610 --> 00:58:52,010 Next day, I packed up and I was gone. 925 00:58:52,180 --> 00:58:53,810 -Aged 11? -Eleven, yeah. 926 00:58:54,410 --> 00:58:56,860 Your knapsack, couscous and... 927 00:58:57,820 --> 00:58:59,740 No, it all fitted in a fanny pack. 928 00:59:00,290 --> 00:59:02,380 I never told anyone this before. 929 00:59:02,690 --> 00:59:04,820 Straight up, it hurts. 930 00:59:07,130 --> 00:59:08,420 I'm touched. 931 00:59:08,570 --> 00:59:11,540 If, at 11, you lost a family of Arabs... 932 00:59:12,140 --> 00:59:13,250 It's still family! 933 00:59:13,420 --> 00:59:15,650 It's no big deal, they were Arabs. 934 00:59:16,370 --> 00:59:18,860 You've won a new Gervais! 935 00:59:19,010 --> 00:59:20,380 Come get your hug! 936 00:59:20,930 --> 00:59:22,130 This is stupid. 937 00:59:23,330 --> 00:59:24,820 It's amazing! 938 00:59:26,060 --> 00:59:29,690 Gervais, it feels so good. I never got any hugs. 939 00:59:34,340 --> 00:59:36,140 Jeez! You're a hungry bunny. 940 00:59:36,290 --> 00:59:38,260 I can hear your belly rumbling. 941 00:59:39,170 --> 00:59:40,540 That's not my belly. 942 00:59:45,260 --> 00:59:48,020 Watch out! What the hell? Curtis! Come here! 943 00:59:48,170 --> 00:59:49,420 Come here! 944 00:59:50,380 --> 00:59:51,530 -No! -Wait! 945 00:59:52,300 --> 00:59:54,260 -No, I'll wait. -Curtis, wait! 946 00:59:57,820 --> 01:00:00,530 For a nice quiet vacation, I suggest 947 01:00:00,700 --> 01:00:03,410 the Riviera. Hook up with the family... 948 01:00:03,890 --> 01:00:06,020 Kick back a few days... 949 01:00:06,170 --> 01:00:09,740 Spicy food, massages, sun, the full package. 950 01:00:20,620 --> 01:00:21,620 Now! 951 01:00:23,690 --> 01:00:25,490 Hey, it's that dork Curtis! 952 01:00:28,700 --> 01:00:30,220 Curtis goes to St. Tropez, too! 953 01:00:30,500 --> 01:00:32,810 I'll tell you when. Be careful! 954 01:00:32,980 --> 01:00:34,730 I'll bleed you like a pig! 955 01:00:35,860 --> 01:00:36,890 Come on! 956 01:00:37,540 --> 01:00:40,540 Fucking stupid picnic! 957 01:00:47,260 --> 01:00:48,140 Asshole! 958 01:00:49,060 --> 01:00:50,780 -You asshole! -This means... 959 01:00:50,930 --> 01:00:54,500 Your stupid picnic idea! In the middle of a highway! 960 01:00:54,650 --> 01:00:55,490 Get lost! 961 01:00:55,660 --> 01:00:56,980 -On the bright side... -Beat it! 962 01:00:57,140 --> 01:00:59,420 -The people came back. -That's the problem! 963 01:00:59,570 --> 01:01:02,210 Didn't you see? That's the problem. 964 01:01:02,380 --> 01:01:03,700 If he slices me... 965 01:01:04,850 --> 01:01:06,220 I'll slice you! 966 01:01:06,740 --> 01:01:08,020 I'm not a loaf of bread. 967 01:01:10,660 --> 01:01:13,220 We're parked over here. 968 01:01:14,690 --> 01:01:16,900 I'll kill you! 969 01:01:17,060 --> 01:01:20,060 That's good, Abdelkader, let it out! 970 01:01:20,210 --> 01:01:22,970 I'm wondering what I'm still doing here with you. 971 01:01:23,140 --> 01:01:24,530 Look... 972 01:01:25,300 --> 01:01:28,460 I didn't know. How could I know? Give me a break. 973 01:01:28,610 --> 01:01:30,770 They came back a few minutes. 974 01:01:31,250 --> 01:01:34,850 It's a good sign. Next time, a half-hour. 975 01:01:35,020 --> 01:01:37,010 The time after that, an hour... 976 01:01:37,180 --> 01:01:39,340 -And the time after that, I'm dead. -It's crazy. 977 01:01:39,500 --> 01:01:44,060 I'll help you with the Bouglionis. We'll find a solution. 978 01:01:44,210 --> 01:01:47,300 I like you, but you gotta make an effort. 979 01:01:47,450 --> 01:01:49,900 -Stop! What's going on? -I'm fine. 980 01:01:50,060 --> 01:01:52,130 Look, your mouth's wobbling. 981 01:01:54,020 --> 01:01:55,490 -What the heck? -Put it back! 982 01:01:55,940 --> 01:01:57,220 I do everything for you. 983 01:01:58,820 --> 01:02:01,730 You scratched it! They're gonna kill me. 984 01:02:02,420 --> 01:02:04,540 Can you believe it? Young people today... 985 01:02:04,700 --> 01:02:05,980 -Gervais? -What? 986 01:02:06,940 --> 01:02:08,570 What do you like about me? 987 01:02:09,580 --> 01:02:10,420 I don't understand. 988 01:02:10,580 --> 01:02:12,740 You said you like me, but you can't. 989 01:02:12,890 --> 01:02:15,260 You chase me for ten years, now you like me? 990 01:02:15,410 --> 01:02:18,770 It's pure, selfless friendship, to be nice. 991 01:02:18,940 --> 01:02:21,260 So what do you like the most? 992 01:02:21,410 --> 01:02:23,500 -You'll run down the battery. -C'mon! 993 01:02:24,050 --> 01:02:25,940 -What I like about you... -I'm all ears. 994 01:02:26,620 --> 01:02:28,300 You gotta be faster than that. 995 01:02:28,460 --> 01:02:30,940 When I walk into a room, you think... 996 01:02:31,100 --> 01:02:33,410 -That guy's so... -He's so... 997 01:02:33,580 --> 01:02:36,260 -What I like most... -Is... 998 01:02:36,770 --> 01:02:38,060 Is that you're... 999 01:02:38,210 --> 01:02:40,220 More than anyone else I know. 1000 01:02:40,370 --> 01:02:41,450 Seriously? 1001 01:02:41,620 --> 01:02:43,220 You noticed that? 1002 01:02:44,500 --> 01:02:47,500 I love it when you say stuff like that... Five! 1003 01:02:47,740 --> 01:02:48,580 Five what? 1004 01:02:48,740 --> 01:02:50,140 Gimme five! 1005 01:02:52,850 --> 01:02:54,860 Hey, be careful. 1006 01:02:55,010 --> 01:02:56,180 -Jeez! -It's overheating. 1007 01:02:56,330 --> 01:02:58,940 They're back. I knew it! 1008 01:02:59,090 --> 01:03:01,850 I'm so smart! I'm giga-smart! 1009 01:03:02,180 --> 01:03:03,220 The Bouglionis! 1010 01:03:03,380 --> 01:03:04,940 I knew it! I'm so smart! 1011 01:03:05,090 --> 01:03:06,860 Don't let them come back. 1012 01:03:07,010 --> 01:03:09,140 I knew it! You're back! 1013 01:03:09,940 --> 01:03:11,060 Juliette! 1014 01:03:12,980 --> 01:03:14,540 I'm okay. 1015 01:03:14,810 --> 01:03:15,740 Yes! 1016 01:03:16,540 --> 01:03:18,620 -You okay, sir? -Just wonderful. 1017 01:03:18,770 --> 01:03:20,210 Number six. 1018 01:03:20,380 --> 01:03:22,340 Seventy-seven eighty, please. 1019 01:03:22,490 --> 01:03:23,570 Sorry? 1020 01:03:23,740 --> 01:03:25,060 -Pump number six? -Yes. 1021 01:03:25,220 --> 01:03:26,540 Seventy-seven eighty. 1022 01:03:26,690 --> 01:03:29,140 You're not fuc... I mean... 1023 01:03:30,290 --> 01:03:32,260 There you are. 1024 01:03:32,900 --> 01:03:34,100 Thank you, sir. 1025 01:03:34,250 --> 01:03:35,570 What's this? 1026 01:03:38,900 --> 01:03:39,890 ROBBERY AT ART FOUNDATION 1027 01:03:40,060 --> 01:03:42,940 The Louvre stripped bare by a mysterious... 1028 01:03:45,770 --> 01:03:46,730 You sure you're okay? 1029 01:03:46,900 --> 01:03:48,380 I'm fine. Where's the phone? 1030 01:03:49,250 --> 01:03:51,860 Twenty-five minutes to pay up. This is stupid! 1031 01:03:53,140 --> 01:03:53,980 Gervais. 1032 01:03:54,140 --> 01:03:55,730 Freeze! Police! 1033 01:03:55,900 --> 01:03:57,140 Get up! 1034 01:03:57,290 --> 01:03:58,420 -Hands up! -Move it! 1035 01:03:58,580 --> 01:04:01,100 Okay, I'm coming out. I'm getting up. 1036 01:04:07,060 --> 01:04:08,420 Where were you? 1037 01:04:08,570 --> 01:04:09,740 On the Champs-Elysées. 1038 01:04:09,890 --> 01:04:11,810 Take a seat in the office. 1039 01:04:13,460 --> 01:04:14,740 Where were you? 1040 01:04:14,930 --> 01:04:15,770 Hi, honey... 1041 01:04:15,940 --> 01:04:18,980 Running out on me. Who do you think you are? 1042 01:04:19,130 --> 01:04:20,090 But I couldn't... 1043 01:04:20,260 --> 01:04:21,580 You couldn't what? 1044 01:04:21,740 --> 01:04:23,980 -You said... -I'm talking! 1045 01:04:24,140 --> 01:04:26,780 Don't interrupt! You do all the talking, 1046 01:04:26,930 --> 01:04:28,250 you call me 15 times a day 1047 01:04:28,420 --> 01:04:30,650 and then you vanish! The wedding! 1048 01:04:30,820 --> 01:04:32,380 Gervais, the wedding! 1049 01:04:32,540 --> 01:04:36,170 Remember, I was the one who proposed... 1050 01:04:36,340 --> 01:04:38,300 So why would I just vanish? 1051 01:04:38,450 --> 01:04:40,180 What do I look like? 1052 01:04:40,340 --> 01:04:43,180 You acted like a kid who can't answer the question. 1053 01:04:43,340 --> 01:04:44,210 Don't interrupt! 1054 01:04:44,380 --> 01:04:45,940 Let's just imagine... 1055 01:04:46,100 --> 01:04:46,940 You turn up... 1056 01:04:47,090 --> 01:04:49,820 Do you realize how much the catering cost me? 1057 01:04:49,970 --> 01:04:51,020 Go easy back there. 1058 01:04:51,170 --> 01:04:52,130 What's going on? 1059 01:04:52,610 --> 01:04:54,700 Just some buddies doing their job. 1060 01:04:55,130 --> 01:04:57,380 I had big plans. We were going far. Sit! 1061 01:04:57,530 --> 01:04:58,490 I am sitting. 1062 01:04:58,660 --> 01:04:59,740 Not you! 1063 01:05:00,530 --> 01:05:01,370 Right. 1064 01:05:01,540 --> 01:05:03,530 That's gotta hurt. 1065 01:05:03,700 --> 01:05:05,690 -What's going on behind you? -Nothing. 1066 01:05:05,860 --> 01:05:09,460 You made a fool out of me. You don't care, you have no family. 1067 01:05:09,620 --> 01:05:12,260 -Down! -I'm in someone's office. 1068 01:05:12,410 --> 01:05:13,730 I can't. 1069 01:05:13,900 --> 01:05:15,500 I didn't mean you! 1070 01:05:15,650 --> 01:05:17,260 Sorry. 1071 01:05:18,260 --> 01:05:19,940 I know what we can do. 1072 01:05:20,090 --> 01:05:22,420 Call the priest and fix it for Saturday. 1073 01:05:22,580 --> 01:05:25,100 I'm free Saturday. Saturday's good. 1074 01:05:25,250 --> 01:05:26,450 You're a pain! 1075 01:05:28,250 --> 01:05:30,340 Come on, Kenzo. Let's get to work. 1076 01:05:31,180 --> 01:05:32,690 Stop being childish. 1077 01:05:32,860 --> 01:05:35,780 He'll only tell us where the paintings are if you ask him. 1078 01:05:35,930 --> 01:05:38,330 -Fine, I resign. -Pardon me? 1079 01:05:39,140 --> 01:05:40,490 My Mom told me in hospital... 1080 01:05:40,660 --> 01:05:41,980 I don't give a shit! 1081 01:05:42,140 --> 01:05:43,730 Go interrogate the suspect. 1082 01:05:43,900 --> 01:05:47,380 If I'm face to face with him, you'll all disappear. 1083 01:05:57,410 --> 01:05:59,690 It's not a joke. 1084 01:05:59,860 --> 01:06:00,980 Motherfucker! 1085 01:06:01,130 --> 01:06:02,140 Asshole! 1086 01:06:04,660 --> 01:06:05,540 Shut up! 1087 01:06:05,690 --> 01:06:07,250 It's not me, it's him. 1088 01:06:07,420 --> 01:06:09,100 He's saying shut up! 1089 01:06:09,650 --> 01:06:11,570 Not another word! 1090 01:06:11,740 --> 01:06:12,740 Not another word! 1091 01:06:12,890 --> 01:06:13,940 It's okay, officer. 1092 01:06:14,090 --> 01:06:16,580 I can't hear him! I can't see him! 1093 01:06:18,290 --> 01:06:21,220 -You back-stabbing bastard! -Can't hear you. 1094 01:06:21,380 --> 01:06:24,410 You scumbag! 1095 01:06:24,820 --> 01:06:26,330 Worthless shit! 1096 01:06:27,620 --> 01:06:29,260 That's right. 1097 01:06:29,930 --> 01:06:32,780 I know how it works now, too. Come on, open up. 1098 01:06:33,820 --> 01:06:35,330 If you wanna see your chick, 1099 01:06:35,500 --> 01:06:38,180 we've gotta get on, so go get the keys. 1100 01:06:38,740 --> 01:06:39,820 Fast! 1101 01:06:40,850 --> 01:06:42,700 It's so unfair... 1102 01:06:46,850 --> 01:06:48,740 You want a ride back to Paris? 1103 01:06:48,890 --> 01:06:51,220 -Beat it, traitor! -Come on, please. 1104 01:06:51,740 --> 01:06:53,140 C'mon Curtis... 1105 01:06:58,970 --> 01:07:00,580 Great car! 1106 01:07:03,460 --> 01:07:05,810 Bullshit! That's just fine. It's fine! 1107 01:07:38,380 --> 01:07:39,410 What's he driving? 1108 01:07:41,690 --> 01:07:42,860 You're speeding! 1109 01:07:47,620 --> 01:07:48,820 Floor it! 1110 01:07:49,220 --> 01:07:50,180 Third gear! 1111 01:07:51,740 --> 01:07:53,020 Let's go, Gervais! 1112 01:08:00,890 --> 01:08:03,580 Like when I shot at you, and always missed. 1113 01:08:03,740 --> 01:08:05,140 I did it on purpose! 1114 01:08:05,500 --> 01:08:07,370 Yes, on purpose, Curtis! 1115 01:08:07,540 --> 01:08:11,330 That's not the act of a traitor. Can you hear me? 1116 01:08:11,690 --> 01:08:12,860 Curtis? 1117 01:08:15,410 --> 01:08:19,010 Would a traitor guide you in traffic like I did? 1118 01:08:22,300 --> 01:08:24,500 I said "Keep going! 1119 01:08:24,650 --> 01:08:27,050 Stop, there's a truck coming!" 1120 01:08:27,980 --> 01:08:30,980 And the truck missed you, a bit like that game 1121 01:08:31,130 --> 01:08:33,580 when you have to move your frog. 1122 01:08:33,740 --> 01:08:37,130 It's like I was another frog saying... 1123 01:08:38,980 --> 01:08:39,820 And you... 1124 01:08:41,090 --> 01:08:43,250 You hop and dodge the cars. 1125 01:08:43,420 --> 01:08:47,660 A traitor would've said "C'mon, froggy, come, come". 1126 01:08:50,140 --> 01:08:51,260 Croak, my friend! 1127 01:08:51,410 --> 01:08:53,660 I'm sorry, but do you really think 1128 01:08:53,810 --> 01:08:57,100 you'd have told your real name to a traitor? 1129 01:08:59,210 --> 01:09:00,770 I'm shaking my head. 1130 01:09:00,940 --> 01:09:02,380 You wouldn't have said it. 1131 01:09:02,540 --> 01:09:04,780 And now I know your name is Mouloud... 1132 01:09:04,940 --> 01:09:06,530 It doesn't matter. 1133 01:09:06,700 --> 01:09:08,450 What matters is, you told me. 1134 01:09:08,620 --> 01:09:11,620 We need more people giving their real name 1135 01:09:11,780 --> 01:09:14,260 to traitors. Or friends. 1136 01:09:15,100 --> 01:09:17,690 -He's sick. -When we first met, we were... 1137 01:09:17,860 --> 01:09:20,810 acquaintances. Then we became... 1138 01:09:20,980 --> 01:09:22,940 Stop talking shit! 1139 01:09:23,090 --> 01:09:24,380 ... kind of buddies. 1140 01:09:24,530 --> 01:09:26,380 And now, we're real friends. 1141 01:09:26,780 --> 01:09:29,620 You've gotta trust me. I have an idea... 1142 01:09:29,780 --> 01:09:30,700 Shit, what's that? 1143 01:09:30,860 --> 01:09:32,500 FIRST WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH ALARM 1144 01:09:32,860 --> 01:09:33,820 Curtis! 1145 01:09:34,250 --> 01:09:36,620 I'll be right back. Friendship is forever. 1146 01:09:38,930 --> 01:09:41,260 You're a total jerk! 1147 01:09:47,180 --> 01:09:48,980 Let go! 1148 01:09:59,300 --> 01:10:00,620 Hey, Curtis. 1149 01:10:00,770 --> 01:10:02,620 Sorry for the interruption. 1150 01:10:09,770 --> 01:10:12,290 If this works, my technique's infallible. 1151 01:10:13,340 --> 01:10:15,770 I'll patent it with the police. 1152 01:10:16,100 --> 01:10:18,020 Oh no, red light! 1153 01:10:18,820 --> 01:10:20,090 There he is! 1154 01:10:22,300 --> 01:10:23,660 He's up there, yes! 1155 01:10:23,810 --> 01:10:24,890 I knew it! 1156 01:10:25,060 --> 01:10:26,620 My technique works. 1157 01:10:26,780 --> 01:10:28,580 I knew it! 1158 01:10:37,820 --> 01:10:38,980 Damn! 1159 01:10:39,140 --> 01:10:41,180 What the hell's he doing here? 1160 01:10:41,690 --> 01:10:42,770 I came to apologize. 1161 01:10:42,940 --> 01:10:44,980 I'm sorry, Curtis. 1162 01:10:45,140 --> 01:10:48,140 You don't turn a friend into the cops, like I did. 1163 01:10:48,290 --> 01:10:49,540 Yeah, sure. 1164 01:10:49,700 --> 01:10:50,930 It's wrong. 1165 01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:55,300 I'm burning your file. 1166 01:10:55,820 --> 01:10:58,660 No more Curtis on file. He doesn't exist. 1167 01:10:58,820 --> 01:11:02,300 Abdelkader from Argenteuil, sure. He's a great guy. 1168 01:11:02,810 --> 01:11:05,500 But Curtis? Never met him, don't know him. 1169 01:11:06,650 --> 01:11:08,780 Torture me, I won't say a word. 1170 01:11:09,380 --> 01:11:10,940 There you go! He's gone. 1171 01:11:13,820 --> 01:11:14,860 He was an artist. 1172 01:11:15,580 --> 01:11:16,660 Art was he. 1173 01:11:17,420 --> 01:11:18,700 You're my mail man. 1174 01:11:20,330 --> 01:11:22,460 How did you find me here? 1175 01:11:22,610 --> 01:11:24,740 Thanks to my technique. It works! 1176 01:11:24,890 --> 01:11:27,380 I noticed that you like raps. 1177 01:11:27,530 --> 01:11:30,170 You like 50 Cent, and I know your favorite track. 1178 01:11:30,340 --> 01:11:33,410 Amusement Park. That leads to zoo. It's obvious. 1179 01:11:33,820 --> 01:11:36,890 Can you stop moving around, so we can talk? 1180 01:11:38,930 --> 01:11:41,060 That's a freaky technique you have. 1181 01:11:41,210 --> 01:11:43,300 How many doors has your building got? 1182 01:11:43,460 --> 01:11:46,180 Actually, it's like you. Pretty freaky. 1183 01:11:46,340 --> 01:11:48,170 Freaky guy, freaky technique. 1184 01:11:48,340 --> 01:11:49,370 It's cool 1185 01:11:49,820 --> 01:11:50,980 and you're cool. 1186 01:11:51,140 --> 01:11:52,970 I was hoping you'd say that. 1187 01:11:56,540 --> 01:11:59,180 Now the people will come back. 1188 01:12:02,260 --> 01:12:03,460 No, nobody's back. 1189 01:12:07,700 --> 01:12:09,890 Hold on, hold on. 1190 01:12:10,900 --> 01:12:11,860 Wait. 1191 01:12:13,580 --> 01:12:14,900 Give me a kiss. 1192 01:12:15,050 --> 01:12:15,980 Touch me! 1193 01:12:16,490 --> 01:12:17,570 Cut it out. 1194 01:12:17,740 --> 01:12:19,100 -What's this? -Caress me. 1195 01:12:19,250 --> 01:12:21,340 -What's this? -Who cares! Caress me. 1196 01:12:21,500 --> 01:12:23,980 -You're bullshitting me! -Why? 1197 01:12:24,140 --> 01:12:26,620 Pizzeria La Mozzarella! That's not my file! 1198 01:12:27,140 --> 01:12:28,580 The Happy Couscous... 1199 01:12:28,730 --> 01:12:31,180 -It's... -You just burned lunch bills. 1200 01:12:31,340 --> 01:12:35,060 La Chipolatax! You bullshitter, I've never eaten there! 1201 01:12:35,210 --> 01:12:36,290 Where's my file? 1202 01:12:36,650 --> 01:12:38,900 -Your file? -You idiot! 1203 01:12:39,050 --> 01:12:40,340 I've got it right here. 1204 01:12:40,940 --> 01:12:43,370 If you keep lying, nobody'll come back. 1205 01:12:43,540 --> 01:12:45,650 -I have it here. -So, burn it. 1206 01:12:46,700 --> 01:12:50,060 -I already burned one. -You said you'd burn that one. 1207 01:12:50,690 --> 01:12:52,340 You know, a fire... 1208 01:12:52,820 --> 01:12:54,050 Burn it! 1209 01:12:54,770 --> 01:12:56,060 I can't burn it. 1210 01:12:56,210 --> 01:12:57,860 -Tough shit. -Wait! 1211 01:13:02,660 --> 01:13:04,010 Great photo. 1212 01:13:06,500 --> 01:13:08,180 -Oh no... -There you go! 1213 01:13:08,780 --> 01:13:12,220 You're crazy! There are children here! 1214 01:13:12,380 --> 01:13:14,020 Completely crazy! 1215 01:13:14,570 --> 01:13:17,060 -What, sweetie? -Look, it's your friend! 1216 01:13:17,210 --> 01:13:18,500 Hey, bros, it's Curtis! 1217 01:13:18,650 --> 01:13:19,850 Grab him! 1218 01:13:20,020 --> 01:13:21,260 Leave him to me! 1219 01:13:21,410 --> 01:13:24,220 We've been looking for you. Throw him to the lions. 1220 01:13:24,380 --> 01:13:25,780 See you, Curtis... 1221 01:13:26,300 --> 01:13:27,530 Is he your friend? 1222 01:13:28,100 --> 01:13:29,810 -Is he your buddy? -I'm just passing by. 1223 01:13:29,980 --> 01:13:31,700 -Get outta here! -I was about to. 1224 01:13:31,850 --> 01:13:33,050 Motherfucker! 1225 01:13:33,220 --> 01:13:35,810 You traitor! You're a real traitor! 1226 01:13:44,090 --> 01:13:45,980 What the hell is this? 1227 01:13:46,540 --> 01:13:47,900 Where's everybody gone? 1228 01:13:48,260 --> 01:13:50,060 -Run! -Where's he going? 1229 01:13:50,210 --> 01:13:51,050 Get him! 1230 01:13:52,580 --> 01:13:53,570 This way! 1231 01:13:53,740 --> 01:13:56,810 -You'll slow me down! -Together, we'll find the solution. 1232 01:13:59,180 --> 01:14:00,170 Leave me... 1233 01:14:06,500 --> 01:14:08,090 -Get him! -He's mine! 1234 01:14:11,210 --> 01:14:12,770 My chicken's coming up. 1235 01:14:12,940 --> 01:14:14,500 I'll slow you down. 1236 01:14:14,660 --> 01:14:15,500 Go get him. 1237 01:14:15,650 --> 01:14:16,940 Come on! 1238 01:14:17,690 --> 01:14:19,340 You've got the fork. 1239 01:14:19,490 --> 01:14:20,780 Prong him! 1240 01:14:38,260 --> 01:14:39,770 Come on, Gervais. 1241 01:14:39,940 --> 01:14:41,380 We haven't got all day! 1242 01:14:42,260 --> 01:14:43,580 They're catching us! 1243 01:14:45,380 --> 01:14:48,340 -Jump, dammit! -Go ahead. I'll hold them back. 1244 01:14:48,500 --> 01:14:50,210 I can't hear. Come here and say it. 1245 01:14:50,380 --> 01:14:51,820 I can't! 1246 01:14:51,980 --> 01:14:53,420 Come on, Gervais! 1247 01:14:58,340 --> 01:14:59,420 Everybody! 1248 01:15:00,140 --> 01:15:01,490 There isn't anybody. 1249 01:15:05,210 --> 01:15:07,420 C'mon, you gotta want it! 1250 01:15:12,020 --> 01:15:13,250 There you go! 1251 01:15:14,260 --> 01:15:15,890 Straighten up. 1252 01:15:16,060 --> 01:15:17,450 Your abs. Push! 1253 01:15:17,620 --> 01:15:19,700 Straighten up. 1254 01:15:20,450 --> 01:15:21,460 You can do it. 1255 01:15:32,660 --> 01:15:34,420 Kick its ass! 1256 01:15:41,540 --> 01:15:42,940 What's going on? You jumped? 1257 01:15:43,100 --> 01:15:44,690 Why'd you jump? 1258 01:15:46,340 --> 01:15:48,860 You're lucky! Last week, I was delivering cactuses. 1259 01:15:54,650 --> 01:15:57,410 Must be some kind of passage 1260 01:15:57,580 --> 01:15:58,780 in space and time. 1261 01:15:59,330 --> 01:16:01,060 I'll follow them. 1262 01:16:02,260 --> 01:16:04,370 -Are you sure? -Watch me as I disappear. 1263 01:16:04,540 --> 01:16:06,460 First, we should check... 1264 01:16:10,060 --> 01:16:12,100 I can still see you. Is that normal? 1265 01:16:15,410 --> 01:16:16,940 Blanchette? 1266 01:16:19,970 --> 01:16:21,460 Want me to come with you? 1267 01:16:22,700 --> 01:16:25,370 What are you gonna do? Where are you going? 1268 01:16:25,850 --> 01:16:29,450 You have a job, a wedding, a wife, lots of things to do. 1269 01:16:29,620 --> 01:16:31,730 See you, my friend! 1270 01:16:31,900 --> 01:16:33,170 "Arriverdacioni!" 1271 01:16:33,340 --> 01:16:35,540 What about the Bouglionis? 1272 01:16:36,260 --> 01:16:38,780 I'm gonna take the first flight out of here. 1273 01:16:38,930 --> 01:16:41,210 I'm an artist. Send me anywhere, I'm fine. 1274 01:16:41,380 --> 01:16:43,610 I get by anywhere. Take care! 1275 01:16:43,780 --> 01:16:44,900 See ya! 1276 01:16:46,700 --> 01:16:48,460 Don't you wanna come to my wedding? 1277 01:16:48,620 --> 01:16:50,330 -When is it? -Saturday. 1278 01:16:50,500 --> 01:16:52,700 I'll be dead by then! The Bouglionis 1279 01:16:52,850 --> 01:16:54,890 could be at my place with guns. 1280 01:16:55,060 --> 01:16:56,260 What's wrong with you? 1281 01:16:56,420 --> 01:16:59,860 The Bouglionis decide if and where you stay in France? 1282 01:17:00,020 --> 01:17:03,140 I'm sorry! In the birthplace of human rights, the land of 1283 01:17:03,290 --> 01:17:06,140 Danton, Barbra Streisand, Robespierre! 1284 01:17:06,290 --> 01:17:08,740 This country's gonna go down on you, bro! 1285 01:17:08,900 --> 01:17:11,500 -You mean, be down with me. -Yeah, be down. 1286 01:17:13,420 --> 01:17:14,740 We'll find a solution. 1287 01:17:14,900 --> 01:17:16,340 I ain't got one now. 1288 01:17:16,490 --> 01:17:17,500 -Ain't got what? -One. 1289 01:17:17,660 --> 01:17:19,010 -What's that mean? -Pass. 1290 01:17:19,180 --> 01:17:20,570 You say, I ain't got none! 1291 01:17:20,740 --> 01:17:22,180 I ain't got none solution. 1292 01:17:22,340 --> 01:17:25,180 Still got the paintings you stole from the Louvre? 1293 01:17:25,340 --> 01:17:26,740 That I borrowed, sure. 1294 01:17:26,900 --> 01:17:27,890 Leave this to me. 1295 01:17:28,820 --> 01:17:31,900 I know who did it. I know where the paintings are. 1296 01:17:32,540 --> 01:17:35,140 You found them using your famous technique? 1297 01:17:35,300 --> 01:17:36,940 That's right! 1298 01:17:37,100 --> 01:17:40,250 Let me try to grasp your skills of deduction. 1299 01:17:40,610 --> 01:17:43,340 Now, let's see. Paintings, Louvre... 1300 01:17:44,140 --> 01:17:47,690 canvas, tents. They're camping in the woods, right? 1301 01:17:52,250 --> 01:17:53,140 You find it funny? 1302 01:17:53,300 --> 01:17:56,180 If I'm not taken seriously, I wonder what use I am? 1303 01:17:56,620 --> 01:17:58,490 Not much, to be honest. 1304 01:17:59,300 --> 01:18:01,850 Is that funny, too? Really? 1305 01:18:03,100 --> 01:18:04,660 I have a question. 1306 01:18:05,330 --> 01:18:08,020 Can I have just one last chance? 1307 01:18:08,180 --> 01:18:09,020 Sure! 1308 01:18:09,170 --> 01:18:10,370 What does it say here? 1309 01:18:11,090 --> 01:18:13,130 It's too far, I can't read it. 1310 01:18:15,140 --> 01:18:18,460 Apparently, I'm the only one taking this seriously. 1311 01:18:18,620 --> 01:18:21,100 I know where they're hidden, but so what? 1312 01:18:21,260 --> 01:18:23,740 You don't have a monopoly on gravity! 1313 01:18:23,900 --> 01:18:26,980 You decide what's serious and what isn't? 1314 01:18:27,140 --> 01:18:30,020 I know serious, compared to what you think is serious. 1315 01:18:30,460 --> 01:18:31,300 What? 1316 01:18:33,890 --> 01:18:36,290 Report to my office right now! 1317 01:18:36,460 --> 01:18:37,610 Get back to work! 1318 01:18:38,300 --> 01:18:41,260 -How was I? -Very good, captain. 1319 01:18:41,420 --> 01:18:42,410 Work! 1320 01:18:42,580 --> 01:18:44,330 Thanks, cap... 1321 01:18:46,370 --> 01:18:48,020 I'm going to see the captain! 1322 01:18:50,860 --> 01:18:52,850 In fact, we're the ones who disappear. 1323 01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:55,010 The world's still out there. 1324 01:18:55,180 --> 01:18:56,090 Juliette's out there. 1325 01:18:56,260 --> 01:18:58,010 That's the thing. 1326 01:18:58,180 --> 01:19:00,740 -That's why my plan will work. -Sure... 1327 01:19:01,250 --> 01:19:03,340 If we do the hard work first. 1328 01:19:03,500 --> 01:19:05,260 Don't worry. 1329 01:19:05,690 --> 01:19:09,410 Have I ever let you down? One single time? 1330 01:19:09,820 --> 01:19:10,970 You're joking? 1331 01:19:12,100 --> 01:19:13,850 You're talking about... 1332 01:19:14,020 --> 01:19:15,380 That was before. 1333 01:19:15,530 --> 01:19:18,650 Curtis. Now, we're a crew. 1334 01:19:18,820 --> 01:19:21,170 You're my honey. 1335 01:19:23,450 --> 01:19:25,180 What does that mean? 1336 01:19:25,700 --> 01:19:28,220 -I'm your honey? -You never heard it? 1337 01:19:28,370 --> 01:19:30,290 See, I'm the pork... 1338 01:19:30,460 --> 01:19:31,610 A bit chewy. 1339 01:19:31,780 --> 01:19:35,380 And with a nice honey glaze... 1340 01:19:35,540 --> 01:19:36,770 Or a... 1341 01:19:36,940 --> 01:19:39,530 Homie, you mean. You say you're my homie. 1342 01:19:39,700 --> 01:19:41,380 We're homies. 1343 01:19:41,540 --> 01:19:43,850 Hey, homie! Not hey, honey! 1344 01:19:44,500 --> 01:19:45,530 Sweet and sour... 1345 01:19:47,060 --> 01:19:47,900 Curry! 1346 01:19:51,580 --> 01:19:54,650 -I think that's it. -You're my sugar and spice! 1347 01:19:55,460 --> 01:19:57,260 You say that often, or just to me? 1348 01:19:58,130 --> 01:19:59,660 It's way coolio. 1349 01:19:59,810 --> 01:20:00,890 Coolio's a rapper. 1350 01:20:01,060 --> 01:20:01,970 No kidding? 1351 01:20:02,140 --> 01:20:03,530 You say, It's way cool... 1352 01:20:03,700 --> 01:20:04,580 Yo! 1353 01:20:05,090 --> 01:20:06,100 I love rap. 1354 01:20:06,260 --> 01:20:07,100 It shows. 1355 01:20:26,450 --> 01:20:27,290 Ma'am. 1356 01:20:27,460 --> 01:20:29,660 Hide in back, he won't be long. 1357 01:20:29,810 --> 01:20:30,700 Okay. 1358 01:20:31,010 --> 01:20:32,780 Are we having hors d'oeuvres? 1359 01:20:32,930 --> 01:20:33,820 He's coming? 1360 01:20:34,180 --> 01:20:35,570 After what I promised him. 1361 01:20:37,180 --> 01:20:38,500 She's our guarantee. 1362 01:20:47,540 --> 01:20:48,820 I don't understand. 1363 01:20:48,980 --> 01:20:50,540 When I whistle, he comes running. 1364 01:20:50,690 --> 01:20:53,660 Usually, Curtis is the punctual type 1365 01:20:53,810 --> 01:20:55,940 or a bit of a late-comer? 1366 01:20:56,090 --> 01:20:57,700 Ma'am the antique dealer? 1367 01:20:59,210 --> 01:21:01,940 Change of plan. Meet me at 14, Rue du Temple. 1368 01:21:23,330 --> 01:21:26,540 Big up to the Quadricolors, 1369 01:21:27,220 --> 01:21:29,620 who are performing at the Galaxy 1370 01:21:30,170 --> 01:21:31,540 on the 21st. 1371 01:21:31,900 --> 01:21:33,700 Is that right, the 21st? 1372 01:21:34,820 --> 01:21:35,740 Where's my damn phone? 1373 01:21:35,900 --> 01:21:36,940 Gervais. 1374 01:21:37,780 --> 01:21:38,900 Juliette. 1375 01:21:39,380 --> 01:21:40,700 Before I pronounce you 1376 01:21:41,420 --> 01:21:43,370 husband and wife, I ask the congregation 1377 01:21:44,180 --> 01:21:47,620 if anyone opposes your marriage. 1378 01:21:47,780 --> 01:21:49,060 Me! 1379 01:21:49,220 --> 01:21:51,380 I oppose... 1380 01:21:53,740 --> 01:21:54,940 this funeral? 1381 01:21:55,660 --> 01:21:57,100 Isn't this Rue du Temple? 1382 01:21:59,300 --> 01:22:01,490 Seventy-four. 1383 01:22:01,660 --> 01:22:02,900 Seventy-four. 1384 01:22:03,050 --> 01:22:04,100 I wanted 14! 1385 01:22:04,850 --> 01:22:06,020 -Sorry. -No problem. 1386 01:22:06,170 --> 01:22:07,420 Enjoy! Goodbye. 1387 01:22:07,580 --> 01:22:08,980 I'll close it gently. 1388 01:22:10,370 --> 01:22:13,180 Those who knew Guy-Patrick 1389 01:22:13,850 --> 01:22:16,100 say he enjoyed the simple life. 1390 01:22:16,250 --> 01:22:18,770 I'll ram his stupid truck up his ass! 1391 01:22:18,940 --> 01:22:22,300 He's allowed to deliver in Paris from 7:30 - 12:30. 1392 01:22:22,460 --> 01:22:25,700 It's 12:25, so he's within his rights. 1393 01:22:26,020 --> 01:22:28,580 If you want, I can check he's legal. 1394 01:22:29,210 --> 01:22:33,100 But Guy-Patrick partook of more sophisticated pleasures, 1395 01:22:33,260 --> 01:22:35,660 particularly at night in Pigalle, 1396 01:22:35,810 --> 01:22:39,500 where he was known as The Admiral after midnight 1397 01:22:39,650 --> 01:22:42,290 or Michette after two in the morning. 1398 01:22:42,460 --> 01:22:44,020 He had his permit. 1399 01:22:44,180 --> 01:22:46,370 I shivved him, so we can get by. 1400 01:22:46,540 --> 01:22:47,420 Let's go. 1401 01:22:48,020 --> 01:22:49,300 Guy-Patrick was love. 1402 01:22:49,460 --> 01:22:51,220 He was, therefore, spiritual love. 1403 01:22:51,380 --> 01:22:54,460 But what would love be without giving of one's body? 1404 01:22:54,620 --> 01:22:56,300 Guy-Patrick truly gave of his body... 1405 01:22:56,450 --> 01:22:57,580 Curtis! 1406 01:22:57,740 --> 01:22:59,740 I'll smoke ya! 1407 01:23:00,860 --> 01:23:02,090 Is he here? 1408 01:23:02,620 --> 01:23:04,940 He's not here. We've got the wrong edifice. 1409 01:23:05,090 --> 01:23:07,100 This is very trying... 1410 01:23:07,250 --> 01:23:10,250 Our apologies. Have a good mass! 1411 01:23:10,970 --> 01:23:13,180 Gervais, Juliette. 1412 01:23:14,260 --> 01:23:17,740 You have come before the Lord today 1413 01:23:18,260 --> 01:23:20,860 to manifest your mutual love. 1414 01:23:21,580 --> 01:23:23,900 -Mutual, my ass! -I beg your pardon! 1415 01:23:24,050 --> 01:23:25,660 Not him! 1416 01:23:26,450 --> 01:23:28,420 Cool it. Pretend I'm not here. 1417 01:23:28,580 --> 01:23:29,900 Sorry. 1418 01:23:30,050 --> 01:23:31,730 Mr. Gervais Blondot. 1419 01:23:33,170 --> 01:23:36,620 Do you take as your lawful wedded wife Juliette Fragnaud? 1420 01:23:36,770 --> 01:23:37,780 Alias The Skank! 1421 01:23:39,380 --> 01:23:40,220 Sir. 1422 01:23:40,370 --> 01:23:42,980 -I do. -Does she want him? 1423 01:23:44,180 --> 01:23:45,460 What a moo cow! 1424 01:23:45,620 --> 01:23:47,020 Jesus! 1425 01:23:47,180 --> 01:23:49,970 -Say something! -Keep going. 1426 01:23:50,140 --> 01:23:51,820 A cow for a pig, not bad! 1427 01:23:52,460 --> 01:23:53,570 That's enough! 1428 01:23:54,770 --> 01:23:55,850 Cool it! 1429 01:23:56,020 --> 01:23:57,890 You agree, but you won't admit it. 1430 01:23:58,060 --> 01:23:59,690 Never saw such a dirty freak! 1431 01:23:59,860 --> 01:24:01,180 You're too early! 1432 01:24:01,340 --> 01:24:03,290 -The Bouglionis aren't here. -You said... 1433 01:24:03,460 --> 01:24:04,660 It's okay, Dad. 1434 01:24:04,820 --> 01:24:05,660 He's a friend. 1435 01:24:05,810 --> 01:24:06,860 -Hello. -Dad. 1436 01:24:07,010 --> 01:24:08,020 This is a church. 1437 01:24:08,860 --> 01:24:10,010 -The Lord is here. -Where? 1438 01:24:10,180 --> 01:24:12,380 It's your friend's wedding. 1439 01:24:12,530 --> 01:24:13,900 Sorry about this, dear. 1440 01:24:14,060 --> 01:24:15,100 -It's great. -Sit down. 1441 01:24:15,260 --> 01:24:16,850 I know I can trust you. 1442 01:24:17,380 --> 01:24:18,770 Just a second, dear. 1443 01:24:18,940 --> 01:24:20,420 Sit down and wait. 1444 01:24:20,570 --> 01:24:22,220 -For my signal. -Which is? 1445 01:24:22,970 --> 01:24:24,020 That's the signal. 1446 01:24:28,850 --> 01:24:30,820 Miss Juliette Sagnaud. 1447 01:24:30,980 --> 01:24:33,260 -Do you take as your... -I do! 1448 01:24:33,410 --> 01:24:35,450 She said she does. 1449 01:24:36,410 --> 01:24:38,810 I declare you joined in holy matrimony. 1450 01:24:39,740 --> 01:24:41,140 Ah, thank you. 1451 01:24:41,300 --> 01:24:42,380 With a whore! 1452 01:24:43,300 --> 01:24:44,500 Gervais, attack! 1453 01:24:44,660 --> 01:24:46,490 A total slut! 1454 01:24:46,660 --> 01:24:48,500 You stupid asshole! 1455 01:24:49,610 --> 01:24:52,250 My wife isn't a whore! 1456 01:24:54,980 --> 01:24:55,940 Curtis! 1457 01:24:57,700 --> 01:24:59,260 Stop it! They're here! 1458 01:24:59,420 --> 01:25:01,100 Hit me! Hit me! 1459 01:25:03,620 --> 01:25:06,740 They were there. Now, they've vanished! 1460 01:25:06,890 --> 01:25:09,290 -Where are they? -They just vanished! 1461 01:25:13,180 --> 01:25:14,570 It's a miracle! 1462 01:25:14,740 --> 01:25:15,860 You fucking with me? 1463 01:25:16,010 --> 01:25:17,260 Freeze! 1464 01:25:17,420 --> 01:25:18,500 Mercy! 1465 01:25:18,860 --> 01:25:20,500 I'll give you a miracle. 1466 01:25:22,340 --> 01:25:25,220 We're going to jail. Mercy! 1467 01:25:25,370 --> 01:25:28,060 Excuse me, is this 74, Rue du... 1468 01:25:29,540 --> 01:25:32,620 What the hell? Are you crazy? That's my leg! 1469 01:25:32,780 --> 01:25:36,740 I'm the best man! I'm Gervais's best man! 1470 01:25:37,370 --> 01:25:40,060 You're totally fucking nuts! 1471 01:25:40,220 --> 01:25:42,290 Is it illegal to be late now? 1472 01:25:42,460 --> 01:25:44,260 Don't move! 1473 01:25:44,420 --> 01:25:46,340 -Screw you! -Don't move! 1474 01:25:48,820 --> 01:25:50,090 My legs have gone numb! 1475 01:25:50,260 --> 01:25:51,820 I can see a white light. 1476 01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:55,010 Mommy, Daddy, you're there, by the apple tree. 1477 01:25:56,260 --> 01:25:57,260 A whore! 1478 01:25:58,340 --> 01:25:59,500 What about it? 1479 01:25:59,660 --> 01:26:01,060 You called my wife a whore! 1480 01:26:01,220 --> 01:26:02,900 That? Chill... 1481 01:26:03,050 --> 01:26:05,780 Look, it worked. There's nobody here. 1482 01:26:06,620 --> 01:26:08,810 I love it. 1483 01:26:08,980 --> 01:26:11,660 I'd love to see the Bouglionis' faces. 1484 01:26:11,810 --> 01:26:13,250 Do you realize what you said? 1485 01:26:13,420 --> 01:26:15,100 Stop whining. You wrote it. 1486 01:26:15,260 --> 01:26:18,700 No, your line was "This is a chumps' wedding!" 1487 01:26:18,860 --> 01:26:21,140 And I go wild and freak out. 1488 01:26:22,300 --> 01:26:24,820 But no! You had to add the W-word. 1489 01:26:24,980 --> 01:26:25,900 Whore! 1490 01:26:26,570 --> 01:26:27,770 I didn't mean it. 1491 01:26:27,940 --> 01:26:30,220 And total slut! What's she gonna think of me? 1492 01:26:30,380 --> 01:26:31,850 You'll have fun. 1493 01:26:34,180 --> 01:26:35,860 You wanna see your wife again? 1494 01:26:38,540 --> 01:26:39,500 C'mon! 1495 01:26:40,060 --> 01:26:41,060 There you go! 1496 01:26:42,290 --> 01:26:45,050 You don't really mean it. You know how it works... 1497 01:26:45,220 --> 01:26:47,420 Like that. That's right. 1498 01:26:48,020 --> 01:26:49,700 -It won't work. -Try! 1499 01:26:49,850 --> 01:26:51,620 You're not making an effort. 1500 01:26:54,740 --> 01:26:56,090 Seen my little brother? 1501 01:26:56,570 --> 01:26:58,490 -That's better. -Got ya! 1502 01:27:00,380 --> 01:27:01,220 Darling! 1503 01:27:04,580 --> 01:27:06,460 Abdelkader, take care. 1504 01:27:06,620 --> 01:27:07,780 Have fun, she's stunning! 1505 01:27:07,940 --> 01:27:08,980 Don't do anything silly. 1506 01:27:09,140 --> 01:27:10,820 You'll never hear of me again. 1507 01:27:10,970 --> 01:27:12,620 -You rat! -Yes? 1508 01:27:12,770 --> 01:27:13,940 You snitch! 1509 01:27:14,090 --> 01:27:15,820 You sneaky bastard! 1510 01:27:15,980 --> 01:27:17,540 Sure, but not very... 1511 01:27:17,690 --> 01:27:20,450 -I'll ice you and your family. -Like it. Good French. 1512 01:27:20,620 --> 01:27:21,860 -Good. -You faggot! 1513 01:27:22,010 --> 01:27:24,220 Buy a dictionary in jail. 1514 01:27:27,020 --> 01:27:28,340 Hey, you! 1515 01:27:29,140 --> 01:27:30,820 My name's Abdelkader, so what? 1516 01:27:32,180 --> 01:27:34,180 What do you want with me? 1517 01:27:36,020 --> 01:27:38,210 Look how fancy you are! May I have one? 1518 01:27:57,290 --> 01:28:00,220 BASED ON REAL-LIFE EVENTS IN NEVADA, 1964 1519 01:29:23,780 --> 01:29:24,890 Yo, bro! 1520 01:29:26,690 --> 01:29:28,010 I won't leave you. 1521 01:29:29,330 --> 01:29:31,460 I'll finish my smoke and be right there. 1522 01:29:36,100 --> 01:29:37,460 Open up for me. 1523 01:30:29,330 --> 01:30:31,730 Now, we come to the masterpiece 1524 01:30:31,900 --> 01:30:32,980 of my exhibit. 1525 01:30:33,140 --> 01:30:36,650 France's finest architectural works. 1526 01:30:37,010 --> 01:30:39,580 That's right, I'm an art buff. 1527 01:30:42,140 --> 01:30:44,260 The pediment of Deauville cathedral. 1528 01:30:46,180 --> 01:30:48,580 Then we have the Toulon archipelago. 1529 01:30:48,940 --> 01:30:50,660 Like a small island, only longer? 1530 01:30:50,810 --> 01:30:54,700 No, like a chapel, only made of Lego. 1531 01:30:54,860 --> 01:30:57,650 -That's worse. -It's worth a fortune. 1532 01:30:59,140 --> 01:31:01,370 Are we going too fast? You miss anything? 1533 01:31:01,780 --> 01:31:03,980 We're not exactly racing. 1534 01:31:04,130 --> 01:31:06,170 It's just the right speed. 1535 01:31:06,340 --> 01:31:08,620 Look! Isn't that beautiful? The grain... 1536 01:31:09,580 --> 01:31:11,980 Are you into art at all, or not? 1537 01:31:12,500 --> 01:31:15,100 It's all in stone. Now, if it was wood... 1538 01:31:15,260 --> 01:31:16,490 -You're into wood? -Yes. 1539 01:31:16,660 --> 01:31:18,460 The Woody Corner is over there. 1540 01:31:18,620 --> 01:31:20,620 We'll be there within an hour. 1541 01:31:20,780 --> 01:31:22,540 Watch out! 1542 01:31:30,700 --> 01:31:31,900 Eyes on the road! 1543 01:31:32,060 --> 01:31:33,700 Lucky you saw that. 1544 01:31:33,860 --> 01:31:36,290 That close! We were that close! 1545 01:31:37,780 --> 01:31:39,860 It's dumb. We're stuck now. 1546 01:31:40,580 --> 01:31:42,860 We won't get to see everything. 1547 01:31:44,090 --> 01:31:45,650 -You touch it? -No, it's okay. 1548 01:31:45,820 --> 01:31:46,850 Lucky escape. 1549 01:31:47,980 --> 01:31:49,850 Let me direct you. 1550 01:31:53,980 --> 01:31:55,060 Drive. 1551 01:31:55,900 --> 01:31:57,100 No, wait! 1552 01:32:57,580 --> 01:32:59,660 ... for Pierre and Marie Curie 1553 01:32:59,810 --> 01:33:00,760 Subtitle translation by Simon John 96567

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