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1
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Man: Previously on "Faking It"...
2
00:00:01,156 --> 00:00:02,195
Oh, sorry.
3
00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:03,844
Since the drug bust, we're so broke
4
00:00:03,858 --> 00:00:05,170
that we had to rent out our house
5
00:00:05,195 --> 00:00:06,250
to Felix's family.
6
00:00:06,250 --> 00:00:08,383
We're just good buddies
who occasionally have sex.
7
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,515
You screwed her best friend. Give up.
8
00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:12,961
We were humiliated. We were betrayed.
9
00:00:12,986 --> 00:00:14,219
I had this girlfriend,
10
00:00:14,244 --> 00:00:16,660
and she dumped me to get
back with her ex-boyfriend.
11
00:00:16,685 --> 00:00:18,427
I love you, and I'm not giving up.
12
00:00:22,576 --> 00:00:24,568
Honey, I don't need a resume.
13
00:00:24,593 --> 00:00:26,796
I have a job. I'm at work right now.
14
00:00:26,821 --> 00:00:29,359
Making artisanal soaps isn't a real job.
15
00:00:29,359 --> 00:00:30,559
Tell my back that.
16
00:00:30,584 --> 00:00:33,296
And you know my first
job will always be mother.
17
00:00:34,186 --> 00:00:37,765
- Oh, I'm sensing you're upset.
- Let's see.
18
00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:40,109
My parents got arrested for selling drugs,
19
00:00:40,142 --> 00:00:42,813
and now I sleep in a
juice truck in our backyard
20
00:00:42,838 --> 00:00:44,415
right next to a teepee where said parents
21
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:45,876
have loud sex every night.
22
00:00:45,901 --> 00:00:47,446
Venus was ascending.
23
00:00:47,471 --> 00:00:49,228
And I know that this has been hard,
24
00:00:49,253 --> 00:00:51,751
but I promise, soon we'll
be past these money issues
25
00:00:51,776 --> 00:00:52,665
and back in our house.
26
00:00:52,690 --> 00:00:54,821
Only if you get real jobs.
27
00:00:54,932 --> 00:00:57,212
- Okay, let's make a resume.
- Really?
28
00:00:57,237 --> 00:00:58,252
- Mm-hmm.
- Great.
29
00:00:58,277 --> 00:01:00,945
Let's start with work history.
30
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,578
Well, I was an aura cleanser
31
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:05,163
and a mushroom forager.
32
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:08,034
And, oh, before that I
was a massage therapist.
33
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:09,067
Were you certified?
34
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,954
No, my style was more intuitive.
35
00:01:12,956 --> 00:01:15,373
[sighs]
36
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:17,742
I wish I didn't have to go to work tonight.
37
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,994
These past four days have been amazing.
38
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My lips are gonna miss you.
39
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My whole face is gonna miss you.
40
00:01:27,271 --> 00:01:28,904
I wish I could just put you in my pocket
41
00:01:28,906 --> 00:01:30,572
and just take you with me.
42
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Yeah. Yeah, me... me too.
43
00:01:32,778 --> 00:01:34,277
We are down a cater waiter.
44
00:01:34,279 --> 00:01:37,080
Jane quit after her vibrator
cozies blew up on Etsy.
45
00:01:37,082 --> 00:01:39,532
You could take her place.
46
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:42,869
Oh, well, um...
47
00:01:42,871 --> 00:01:44,704
Uh, wow, cozies.
48
00:01:44,706 --> 00:01:45,955
Is that a... is that a real thing?
49
00:01:45,957 --> 00:01:49,092
I need a job. I am so sorry.
50
00:01:49,094 --> 00:01:51,294
I, uh, should've knocked.
51
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,091
Karma, relax. We were just talking.
52
00:01:53,091 --> 00:01:54,325
Actually, uh,
53
00:01:54,325 --> 00:01:57,994
Reagan was saying how they're
down a cater waiter tonight.
54
00:01:57,996 --> 00:01:59,545
Hello, problem?
55
00:01:59,547 --> 00:02:02,164
This is your answer calling.
56
00:02:02,166 --> 00:02:05,167
[upbeat music]
57
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,645
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
58
00:02:07,932 --> 00:02:09,587
We haven't hung out in forever.
59
00:02:09,612 --> 00:02:11,612
Not since you and Reagan started nesting.
60
00:02:11,614 --> 00:02:13,164
Nesting? We're not pigeons.
61
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,499
She's been staying in your
coop every night this week.
62
00:02:15,501 --> 00:02:18,035
That's exactly why I
need to stay in tonight.
63
00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:19,420
I need a little me time.
64
00:02:19,422 --> 00:02:22,915
Is someone feeling a bit, "Can't breathe!"
65
00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:25,245
- "Ugh, I can't breathe!"
- No, someone is not.
66
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:27,496
I just need a night off so
I can miss her, you know?
67
00:02:27,498 --> 00:02:29,247
Why don't you just tell
Reagan how you feel?
68
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,216
Uh, why don't you just
tell Duke you outed him?
69
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:33,001
[hard rock music playing]
70
00:02:33,003 --> 00:02:35,470
Is that angry music
coming from inside my head?
71
00:02:35,472 --> 00:02:41,010
72
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:43,766
Lauren, are you okay?
73
00:02:44,361 --> 00:02:46,761
- Should we?
- Yes.
74
00:02:46,786 --> 00:02:48,561
75
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,960
Get the [bleep] out of here!
76
00:02:53,036 --> 00:02:54,953
Okay, your job is to blend in.
77
00:02:54,978 --> 00:02:56,791
Don't chat with guests.
You're not one of them.
78
00:02:56,791 --> 00:02:58,791
And whatever you do, do
not make direct eye contact
79
00:02:58,793 --> 00:03:00,509
with Creepy Steve.
80
00:03:00,511 --> 00:03:02,211
Who's Creepy Steve?
81
00:03:02,213 --> 00:03:05,291
The guy carving the meat.
82
00:03:06,634 --> 00:03:08,884
Okay, got it. Um...
83
00:03:08,886 --> 00:03:10,353
Should I get started?
84
00:03:10,355 --> 00:03:12,939
Ah-ah-ah, that's for the servers.
85
00:03:12,941 --> 00:03:16,309
- You're the sweeper.
- Sounds fun.
86
00:03:16,311 --> 00:03:18,027
Used napkins, half-eaten skewers,
87
00:03:18,029 --> 00:03:20,613
anything goopy that no one
wants to touch, grab it.
88
00:03:20,615 --> 00:03:21,691
With my bare hands?
89
00:03:21,716 --> 00:03:23,149
Everyone starts out as a sweeper.
90
00:03:23,151 --> 00:03:24,951
It's really not that bad.
91
00:03:24,953 --> 00:03:26,145
Actually, it's horrible,
92
00:03:26,170 --> 00:03:28,170
but don't let it show on your face.
93
00:03:32,627 --> 00:03:34,210
[sighs]
94
00:03:34,212 --> 00:03:36,162
(Liam) I cannot believe
I'm about to be streamed
95
00:03:36,164 --> 00:03:37,413
around the world wearing this.
96
00:03:37,415 --> 00:03:38,913
Look at me. I look like a fool.
97
00:03:38,938 --> 00:03:41,000
You forget that your
audience is a bunch of nerds
98
00:03:41,002 --> 00:03:43,169
who are dying to have a
computer strapped to their face.
99
00:03:43,171 --> 00:03:44,837
You'll be their hero,
100
00:03:44,839 --> 00:03:47,841
even if you look like Mr. Peanut.
101
00:03:48,977 --> 00:03:50,509
- Okay, what gives?
- Nothing.
102
00:03:50,511 --> 00:03:51,991
Yeah, I'm not playing that game.
103
00:03:52,016 --> 00:03:52,804
What game?
104
00:03:52,829 --> 00:03:54,491
The game where you give me one word answers
105
00:03:54,516 --> 00:03:55,882
and make me drag it out of you.
106
00:03:55,907 --> 00:03:57,767
I'm not in middle school. Use your words.
107
00:03:57,792 --> 00:03:59,462
I went to Karma's house last night,
108
00:03:59,487 --> 00:04:02,188
and this shirtless guy was in her room.
109
00:04:02,190 --> 00:04:03,491
Do you think they're sleeping together?
110
00:04:03,516 --> 00:04:04,816
He could be a homeless guy
111
00:04:04,841 --> 00:04:07,225
that Karma's helping clean up
for his first job interview.
112
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:09,200
- You think so?
- No, they're doing it.
113
00:04:09,921 --> 00:04:12,725
Liam, if you want her back, just tell her.
114
00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:14,116
No, she'll just say no.
115
00:04:14,118 --> 00:04:15,501
She hasn't forgiven me yet.
116
00:04:15,503 --> 00:04:17,253
Then tell her that you gave up art for her.
117
00:04:17,255 --> 00:04:18,577
That's a pretty huge sacrifice.
118
00:04:18,602 --> 00:04:20,185
- I can't.
- Why not?
119
00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:21,760
Trust me, girls eat that [bleep] up.
120
00:04:21,785 --> 00:04:22,984
'Cause I have my reasons, okay?
121
00:04:23,009 --> 00:04:24,725
So can we just drop it?
122
00:04:24,762 --> 00:04:25,878
Oh, crap.
123
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:29,932
I just opened the web browser.
124
00:04:29,934 --> 00:04:33,769
Oh, that is definitely not safe for work.
125
00:04:33,771 --> 00:04:35,388
Ooh.
126
00:04:35,390 --> 00:04:37,531
Someone grab your ass? Don't freak.
127
00:04:37,556 --> 00:04:39,919
The pervs usually give the best tips.
128
00:04:39,944 --> 00:04:41,727
Liam's here.
129
00:04:41,729 --> 00:04:43,562
He is? Oh, right.
130
00:04:43,564 --> 00:04:45,281
This is a Skwerkel event.
131
00:04:45,283 --> 00:04:46,949
Probably should have told you that.
132
00:04:46,951 --> 00:04:48,484
Probably. Great.
133
00:04:48,486 --> 00:04:51,791
Now I get to spend the
night picking up Liam's goop.
134
00:04:51,816 --> 00:04:55,401
Crap, my ex is here too.
135
00:04:55,426 --> 00:04:57,791
Hi.
136
00:05:04,502 --> 00:05:06,469
Hurry. If she finds out we're in here...
137
00:05:06,471 --> 00:05:08,637
She'll use our skin to make her prom dress?
138
00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:10,556
The past few weeks, she's
been talking about how
139
00:05:10,558 --> 00:05:12,341
she's over Theo, but look at this.
140
00:05:12,343 --> 00:05:15,227
This is the work of
someone seriously unhinged.
141
00:05:15,229 --> 00:05:18,180
I always said she could use
a good dose of electroshock.
142
00:05:18,182 --> 00:05:19,598
[floorboard creaks]
143
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,318
She's standing right behind us, isn't she?
144
00:05:23,381 --> 00:05:24,820
[both scream]
145
00:05:24,822 --> 00:05:27,106
Hello, Amy. Shane.
146
00:05:27,108 --> 00:05:28,991
I think it would be best
for everyone involved
147
00:05:28,993 --> 00:05:31,068
if you two leave and we
never speak of this again.
148
00:05:31,093 --> 00:05:32,771
No, we need to talk about this.
149
00:05:32,796 --> 00:05:35,638
Yeah, we really need to,
because this is all wrong.
150
00:05:35,663 --> 00:05:37,549
None of these revenge
scenarios are practical.
151
00:05:37,551 --> 00:05:40,179
- I mean, arsenic poisoning could take weeks.
- What are you doing?
152
00:05:40,204 --> 00:05:41,585
If you want to get back at Theo,
153
00:05:41,610 --> 00:05:42,702
why don't you just go to his new school
154
00:05:42,727 --> 00:05:43,600
and out him as a narc.
155
00:05:43,626 --> 00:05:44,585
Outing people... that's your solution
156
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:45,671
to everything, isn't it?
157
00:05:45,696 --> 00:05:47,319
It's too simple and totally obvious.
158
00:05:47,344 --> 00:05:48,951
And let's not forget dangerous.
159
00:05:48,954 --> 00:05:50,653
He might get the crap
beat out of him by a mob
160
00:05:50,655 --> 00:05:51,704
of angry students.
161
00:05:51,706 --> 00:05:53,206
Good point. It's perfect.
162
00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:56,333
According to my intel, Theo
is at Baldwin High School.
163
00:05:56,358 --> 00:05:58,107
He's on the basketball team,
164
00:05:58,109 --> 00:06:03,156
and I saw there's a pep rally tonight.
165
00:06:03,181 --> 00:06:04,947
If we hurry, we can make it.
166
00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:06,833
I'll go shower.
167
00:06:06,835 --> 00:06:08,117
Why are you encouraging this?
168
00:06:08,119 --> 00:06:09,739
Durr, because it's fun.
169
00:06:09,764 --> 00:06:12,755
But also, Lauren clearly
needs this to move on,
170
00:06:12,757 --> 00:06:14,123
and who better to help her than...
171
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:18,156
- You.
- Her sister.
172
00:06:18,663 --> 00:06:20,991
Ugh, fine. I'll go.
173
00:06:21,016 --> 00:06:24,434
[gentle rock music]
174
00:06:24,436 --> 00:06:26,302
Enjoy your evening.
175
00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:28,221
176
00:06:28,223 --> 00:06:29,605
- Charlotte.
- Reagan?
177
00:06:29,607 --> 00:06:30,973
Hey.
178
00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:32,880
- It's been a while.
- Yeah.
179
00:06:32,905 --> 00:06:35,778
Well, that's what happens
when you break up, you know?
180
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:37,613
The passage of time.
181
00:06:37,615 --> 00:06:38,981
Yeah.
182
00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:40,033
You look great.
183
00:06:40,035 --> 00:06:41,451
I love the purple hair.
184
00:06:41,453 --> 00:06:42,607
Oh, yeah.
185
00:06:42,632 --> 00:06:44,070
(Todd) Here's some fresh ice, babe.
186
00:06:44,072 --> 00:06:45,661
'Sup? I'm Todd.
187
00:06:45,686 --> 00:06:46,819
- Charlotte's...
- Boyfriend.
188
00:06:46,819 --> 00:06:48,652
Yeah, I know.
189
00:06:48,654 --> 00:06:52,981
This is Reagan. She's an old friend.
190
00:06:55,828 --> 00:06:57,528
Ugh.
191
00:06:57,530 --> 00:06:59,446
Karma?
192
00:06:59,448 --> 00:07:00,948
Liam.
193
00:07:00,950 --> 00:07:02,416
Uh, what are the odds?
194
00:07:02,418 --> 00:07:06,503
I got this job cater
waitering, and I love it.
195
00:07:06,505 --> 00:07:08,539
Different party every night.
196
00:07:08,541 --> 00:07:10,374
But I'm surprised to see you here.
197
00:07:10,376 --> 00:07:12,876
I thought you hated all things Skwerkel.
198
00:07:12,878 --> 00:07:15,712
Oh, um...
199
00:07:15,714 --> 00:07:20,300
Yeah, it's this really long
and... and really boring story.
200
00:07:20,302 --> 00:07:23,887
And you're at work, so...
201
00:07:23,889 --> 00:07:25,556
Speaking of being surprised,
202
00:07:25,558 --> 00:07:28,976
I met your new friend last night
when I knocked on your window.
203
00:07:28,978 --> 00:07:33,730
He seemed shirtless.
204
00:07:33,732 --> 00:07:36,400
You were at my house?
205
00:07:36,402 --> 00:07:39,501
Which is fine but, uh,
206
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:43,290
not fine because, uh, boundaries.
207
00:07:43,292 --> 00:07:45,993
Um, but that was Felix,
208
00:07:45,995 --> 00:07:47,911
and he's just a friend.
209
00:07:47,913 --> 00:07:48,962
No need to be jealous.
210
00:07:48,964 --> 00:07:53,083
- I'm not.
- Good.
211
00:07:53,085 --> 00:07:57,054
Uh, 'cause, you know, you
and I are just friends who...
212
00:07:57,056 --> 00:07:59,405
Occasionally have sex. Yeah, no, I get it.
213
00:07:59,430 --> 00:08:05,038
I just didn't realize
that you had other friends.
214
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:10,856
I do, and, uh, you should too.
215
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:13,439
I should.
216
00:08:13,464 --> 00:08:16,298
Yeah, 'cause you're such a friendly guy.
217
00:08:16,323 --> 00:08:17,655
Karma.
218
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,087
- This is Zita.
- Karma.
219
00:08:20,112 --> 00:08:21,361
I've heard lots about you.
220
00:08:21,363 --> 00:08:23,080
Yeah, Zita's a good friend.
221
00:08:23,082 --> 00:08:24,498
Now, if you'll excuse me,
222
00:08:24,523 --> 00:08:28,275
we're gonna go and get
friendly in the bathroom.
223
00:08:29,922 --> 00:08:31,204
Ugh, what a little bitch!
224
00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:33,693
I was just thinking the same thing.
225
00:08:33,718 --> 00:08:34,902
We dated for two years,
226
00:08:34,927 --> 00:08:37,961
and she's gonna introduce me as her friend?
227
00:08:37,963 --> 00:08:39,367
Well, Liam just
228
00:08:39,392 --> 00:08:42,726
went with his new friend
to the bathroom to have sex.
229
00:08:42,751 --> 00:08:44,918
We can't let them treat us like this.
230
00:08:44,943 --> 00:08:46,243
We have to make them pay.
231
00:08:46,272 --> 00:08:47,688
Yeah, but they'd know it was us,
232
00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:49,523
and I can't get caught
with blood on my hands.
233
00:08:49,525 --> 00:08:51,358
Not real blood. I mean, metaphorical blood,
234
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,226
because, to be clear,
I'm not killing anyone.
235
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:56,480
What if I got revenge on your ex
236
00:08:56,482 --> 00:08:59,066
and you get revenge on mine?
237
00:08:59,068 --> 00:09:01,151
Deal?
238
00:09:01,176 --> 00:09:03,967
I like the way you think.
239
00:09:05,246 --> 00:09:07,158
Ooh, I really shouldn't.
240
00:09:07,183 --> 00:09:08,885
But they're so good.
241
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:10,476
And are they vegan?
242
00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:12,968
- Totally.
- Thanks.
243
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,421
- Yeah.
- Karma.
244
00:09:15,423 --> 00:09:16,755
Hey, Zita.
245
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,299
Look, about me and Liam, before you hate...
246
00:09:19,324 --> 00:09:22,323
Hate you? I don't hate you.
247
00:09:22,348 --> 00:09:24,207
I don't hate you at all.
248
00:09:24,232 --> 00:09:25,613
Karma, I'm not sleeping with Liam.
249
00:09:25,638 --> 00:09:27,671
I could care less. You're not?
250
00:09:27,696 --> 00:09:28,995
Not even a little bit.
251
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:31,387
He only has eyes for you.
252
00:09:31,412 --> 00:09:32,912
He's too noble to tell you this,
253
00:09:32,937 --> 00:09:34,340
but I'm not.
254
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:37,115
The guy gave up art to get you
and your family out of jail.
255
00:09:37,140 --> 00:09:39,808
That's the deal he made with his dad.
256
00:09:39,833 --> 00:09:42,089
- Whoa.
- I know.
257
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:44,415
The guy's practically a Disney prince.
258
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:48,809
So maybe cut him some slack?
259
00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:51,885
1-2-3-4. 1-1-1-1.
260
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:54,989
2-4-6-8. Ugh, this is useless.
261
00:09:55,014 --> 00:09:56,731
We could be here all
night. We need another plan.
262
00:09:56,731 --> 00:09:59,874
Or we could go home, share some ice cream.
263
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:01,448
Mint chocolate chip. Yeah?
264
00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:03,400
Karma's good at schemes.
Let's give her a call.
265
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:04,204
See how she'd get in.
266
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,370
I can't. She's at work.
267
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,922
I got her a job catering with Reagan.
268
00:10:06,924 --> 00:10:08,099
T-minus 35 minutes.
269
00:10:08,099 --> 00:10:10,266
Stay here... I'll scan the
area for another way in.
270
00:10:10,268 --> 00:10:13,102
Sounds good, Rambo.
271
00:10:13,104 --> 00:10:16,022
You put Karma and Reagan
together on purpose?
272
00:10:16,024 --> 00:10:18,241
Are you trying to upset
the balance of the universe
273
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,306
and destroy us all?
274
00:10:19,331 --> 00:10:21,500
Well, Reagan said they were
down one person at work,
275
00:10:21,525 --> 00:10:23,058
and Karma could really use the money.
276
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:24,165
And...
277
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,671
And I didn't want to do it.
278
00:10:25,696 --> 00:10:26,945
Why didn't you tell Reagan that?
279
00:10:26,947 --> 00:10:28,663
Because I don't want her to get mad at me.
280
00:10:28,665 --> 00:10:30,749
This might come as a shock,
but I don't like conflict.
281
00:10:30,751 --> 00:10:32,417
So if you can't ask for space, I'm guessing
282
00:10:32,419 --> 00:10:35,370
you didn't tell her you're
sometimes attracted to guys.
283
00:10:35,372 --> 00:10:37,922
If you want to have a real
relationship with Reagan,
284
00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:39,591
you can't keep things from her
285
00:10:39,593 --> 00:10:41,710
just because you're scared
she won't want to hear them.
286
00:10:41,712 --> 00:10:43,094
And don't try to turn this around on me.
287
00:10:43,096 --> 00:10:45,513
Our situations are completely different.
288
00:10:45,515 --> 00:10:46,881
- Jeez.
- How'd you get in there?
289
00:10:46,883 --> 00:10:48,717
Let's just say I have really small hands.
290
00:10:48,719 --> 00:10:50,882
Move it. Come on.
291
00:10:50,907 --> 00:10:52,857
- You roofied him?
- Not yet.
292
00:10:52,859 --> 00:10:55,777
I got one from Creepy Steve and
dissolved it in Liam's water.
293
00:10:55,779 --> 00:10:57,028
We just need him to drink it.
294
00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:59,030
What'd you do to Charlotte?
295
00:10:59,055 --> 00:11:01,939
I gave her a non-vegan egg roll.
296
00:11:07,943 --> 00:11:09,717
Uh, you can't drink that.
297
00:11:09,742 --> 00:11:11,792
It's not filtered.
298
00:11:16,248 --> 00:11:18,153
[sighs] My mouth was dry.
299
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,094
I guess I am a little nervous.
300
00:11:20,119 --> 00:11:21,373
It's only the biggest product launch
301
00:11:21,398 --> 00:11:22,584
in this company's history.
302
00:11:22,609 --> 00:11:23,498
Come on, Liam.
303
00:11:23,523 --> 00:11:27,607
- Let's go crush it.
- Okay.
304
00:11:27,632 --> 00:11:29,265
We all clear on the plan?
305
00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:31,706
We sneak in there, grab the
microphone, and out Theo.
306
00:11:31,731 --> 00:11:33,614
- It's not that complicated.
- Beg to differ.
307
00:11:33,616 --> 00:11:35,616
And why am I the one
who has to be the mascot?
308
00:11:35,641 --> 00:11:36,503
(Amy) I mean, really.
309
00:11:36,528 --> 00:11:39,282
Because you have the
coordination of a baby goat.
310
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,099
It seem weird that I'm slightly
311
00:11:41,124 --> 00:11:42,194
attracted to you right now?
312
00:11:42,219 --> 00:11:43,969
Um, excuse me. Hiya.
313
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:45,610
Who the deuce are you bitches?
314
00:11:45,635 --> 00:11:46,998
Let me handle this.
315
00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:49,170
We're the bitches that
just got bumped up from JV.
316
00:11:49,195 --> 00:11:51,559
Hmm, coach didn't say jack about it to me.
317
00:11:51,584 --> 00:11:55,219
Well, maybe she's lost faith
in your ability to lead.
318
00:11:56,723 --> 00:11:59,841
You guys better be up to speed.
319
00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:01,496
That was very impressive.
320
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:02,519
Never show fear.
321
00:12:02,544 --> 00:12:04,869
Lauren, this is insane. Look, I get it.
322
00:12:04,894 --> 00:12:06,894
Theo hurt you and all, you
want to do is hurt him back,
323
00:12:06,919 --> 00:12:08,756
but trust me, it's not
gonna make you feel better.
324
00:12:08,781 --> 00:12:10,256
Well, it can't make me feel worse.
325
00:12:10,281 --> 00:12:13,282
[girls cheering, shouting]
326
00:12:13,307 --> 00:12:15,557
[lively band music playing]
327
00:12:15,582 --> 00:12:19,591
(man) And now, the Baldwin
High varsity cheerleaders.
328
00:12:19,616 --> 00:12:22,534
[girls cheering, shouting]
329
00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,810
[people cheering]
330
00:12:25,835 --> 00:12:27,491
That way.
331
00:12:27,516 --> 00:12:30,214
(man) Now, before we bring
out the basketball players,
332
00:12:30,239 --> 00:12:32,993
this amazing cheerleading
squad will perform
333
00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:36,991
their national championship
winning routine right now.
334
00:12:37,016 --> 00:12:39,991
335
00:12:41,397 --> 00:12:44,114
(all) Yo, yo, here we go.
336
00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:46,880
Yo, yo, three, four.
337
00:12:46,905 --> 00:12:48,237
Cheerleading isn't so hard.
338
00:12:48,239 --> 00:12:50,289
I can't believe they
won nationals with this.
339
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:52,875
[electronic music playing]
340
00:12:52,877 --> 00:12:54,397
Run past us.
341
00:12:57,118 --> 00:12:59,535
Oh, my God. It's coming right towards us.
342
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,645
[people cheering]
343
00:13:05,223 --> 00:13:10,443
344
00:13:10,468 --> 00:13:13,168
[people cheering]
345
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,827
Lift me up.
346
00:13:15,852 --> 00:13:19,387
- Ow, your crotch is on my neck.
- Just don't drop me.
347
00:13:19,412 --> 00:13:23,581
- Amy, spot me.
- I don't know what that means.
348
00:13:23,608 --> 00:13:24,397
Whoa!
349
00:13:24,422 --> 00:13:27,467
[girls screaming]
350
00:13:28,853 --> 00:13:31,186
Go Buccs!
351
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,544
(man) Well, that was different.
352
00:13:32,569 --> 00:13:33,902
And now it's time to bring out
353
00:13:33,927 --> 00:13:36,950
the Baldwin High basketball team.
354
00:13:36,975 --> 00:13:38,475
[cheers and applause]
355
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:41,501
Whoo!
356
00:13:41,526 --> 00:13:44,077
Here we go.
357
00:13:44,102 --> 00:13:47,680
I'm fine. Don't worry.
358
00:13:47,705 --> 00:13:48,840
Be happy.
359
00:13:48,865 --> 00:13:50,281
Very funny, dad.
360
00:13:50,306 --> 00:13:52,557
If you're doing this to
freak me out, it worked, okay?
361
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,041
You can stop now.
362
00:13:54,594 --> 00:13:55,927
Dad.
363
00:13:55,952 --> 00:13:58,286
You know, I feel the same way.
364
00:13:58,311 --> 00:13:59,426
Right here.
365
00:13:59,451 --> 00:14:01,394
Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah.
366
00:14:01,419 --> 00:14:02,504
Great. Got it.
367
00:14:02,529 --> 00:14:04,507
Bookers, we are ready for you.
368
00:14:04,532 --> 00:14:05,815
Great.
369
00:14:05,817 --> 00:14:07,316
You got it.
370
00:14:07,318 --> 00:14:09,503
Be right there.
371
00:14:09,528 --> 00:14:10,704
Is he drunk?
372
00:14:10,729 --> 00:14:13,104
The only thing I saw him
drink was a glass of...
373
00:14:13,129 --> 00:14:14,878
[mouthing words]
374
00:14:14,903 --> 00:14:16,987
I don't have time to wait
for the end of that sentence.
375
00:14:17,012 --> 00:14:18,928
We have a Skwerkel-cast
going live in 30 seconds.
376
00:14:18,953 --> 00:14:22,204
You'll have to give the presentation.
377
00:14:22,704 --> 00:14:24,200
Just read the teleprompter.
378
00:14:24,225 --> 00:14:27,604
I'm just supposed to be the model.
379
00:14:36,274 --> 00:14:38,191
Every once in a while,
380
00:14:38,216 --> 00:14:40,447
a revolutionary product comes along
381
00:14:40,472 --> 00:14:41,921
that changes everything.
382
00:14:41,946 --> 00:14:43,913
Skwerkel is very fortunate
383
00:14:43,938 --> 00:14:46,088
to be able to introduce this new product
384
00:14:46,113 --> 00:14:47,446
into your world.
385
00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:51,356
Take dramatic pause. Gaze out at audience.
386
00:14:51,404 --> 00:14:53,905
Oh, holy [bleep]. I wasn't
supposed to read that.
387
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:58,516
No, no, no, no. The
thingy's going too fast.
388
00:14:58,541 --> 00:15:02,659
You know what? Who needs a teleprompter?
389
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:07,904
I'm just here to tell you
about the Skwerkel Monocle.
390
00:15:07,929 --> 00:15:09,128
(all) Ooh.
391
00:15:09,153 --> 00:15:10,431
I'll admit it.
392
00:15:10,456 --> 00:15:13,624
At first, I thought this was a dumb idea.
393
00:15:13,649 --> 00:15:15,830
Really dumb.
394
00:15:15,855 --> 00:15:18,261
But I've always dreamed
of having a computer
395
00:15:18,286 --> 00:15:19,682
strapped to my face.
396
00:15:19,707 --> 00:15:22,201
And guess what. It is awesome.
397
00:15:22,226 --> 00:15:25,194
I'm checking my email right
now while I talk to you.
398
00:15:25,219 --> 00:15:28,505
Huh, just saved that to my trash folder.
399
00:15:29,087 --> 00:15:31,171
All right, maybe I went overboard.
400
00:15:31,196 --> 00:15:32,266
You think?
401
00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:37,142
It's just Charlotte
really played with my head.
402
00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:39,180
She used me as a test
to prove whether or not
403
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:42,244
she was actually a lesbian,
and guess what the results were.
404
00:15:42,246 --> 00:15:43,496
Reagan, that sucks.
405
00:15:43,521 --> 00:15:46,204
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
406
00:15:46,229 --> 00:15:47,895
I've learned from my mistakes,
407
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,362
and now I have an awesome girlfriend
408
00:15:49,387 --> 00:15:52,459
who's got it all figured out.
409
00:15:53,163 --> 00:15:54,880
(Liam) And I know what you're thinking.
410
00:15:54,905 --> 00:15:57,155
"Does it affect your depth perception?"
411
00:15:57,180 --> 00:16:00,465
The answer is no.
412
00:16:00,490 --> 00:16:01,872
[people exclaim]
413
00:16:01,899 --> 00:16:03,933
Just kidding, folks.
414
00:16:03,935 --> 00:16:05,658
This thing is awesome.
415
00:16:05,683 --> 00:16:08,059
[applause]
416
00:16:08,084 --> 00:16:12,337
(man) Number 28, Alex.
Let's hear it for Palmer.
417
00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:17,698
Last but not least, number
23. Let's hear it for Jimmy.
418
00:16:17,723 --> 00:16:21,258
[cheers and applause]
419
00:16:21,283 --> 00:16:24,451
Attention, Baldwin High.
420
00:16:24,476 --> 00:16:27,894
There's something you all
should know about Jimmy.
421
00:16:27,919 --> 00:16:29,919
He isn't who he says he is.
422
00:16:29,944 --> 00:16:31,911
He's...
423
00:16:34,001 --> 00:16:36,084
He's...
424
00:16:36,109 --> 00:16:38,412
Lauren, please.
425
00:16:40,565 --> 00:16:43,566
[soft rock music]
426
00:16:43,591 --> 00:16:45,173
427
00:16:45,198 --> 00:16:47,616
Can I get an N-A-R-C?
428
00:16:47,641 --> 00:16:50,224
He's not the man he seems to be!
429
00:16:50,249 --> 00:16:51,799
- He's a narc!
- Narc!
430
00:16:51,824 --> 00:16:53,607
- He's a narc!
- Yeah, he's a narc.
431
00:16:53,632 --> 00:16:54,661
Narc.
432
00:16:54,686 --> 00:16:57,661
433
00:17:01,577 --> 00:17:03,494
(Karma) Hi.
434
00:17:03,825 --> 00:17:05,530
Okay, now that everyone's gone,
435
00:17:05,555 --> 00:17:08,806
I just want to say that I am so, so sorry.
436
00:17:08,831 --> 00:17:10,547
It was just a stupid revenge plot
437
00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:11,687
that got totally out of hand.
438
00:17:11,712 --> 00:17:13,629
You tried to roofie me.
439
00:17:13,654 --> 00:17:18,073
I was jealous that you slept with Zita.
440
00:17:18,098 --> 00:17:19,090
I didn't.
441
00:17:19,115 --> 00:17:21,008
I just said that because
you slept with Felix.
442
00:17:21,033 --> 00:17:22,783
- I didn't.
- You didn't?
443
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,157
Then why was he shirtless...
444
00:17:24,182 --> 00:17:25,711
I'll tell you about that later.
445
00:17:25,736 --> 00:17:28,403
But first.
446
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:33,578
You gave up art for me?
447
00:17:33,603 --> 00:17:35,387
Zita told you?
448
00:17:35,412 --> 00:17:37,412
The real question is why you didn't.
449
00:17:37,437 --> 00:17:40,938
Because I didn't do it
to buy your forgiveness.
450
00:17:40,963 --> 00:17:43,405
I want to earn that.
451
00:17:44,005 --> 00:17:48,523
But do you think I ever will?
452
00:17:49,841 --> 00:17:53,623
Look, I want to forgive you.
453
00:17:54,312 --> 00:17:57,230
You're doing all the right things.
454
00:18:00,482 --> 00:18:04,734
I'm just scared of getting hurt again,
455
00:18:04,759 --> 00:18:09,969
which is why I need to be in control.
456
00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:16,109
I'm okay with that.
457
00:18:18,083 --> 00:18:20,970
Then put your hands behind your back.
458
00:18:22,431 --> 00:18:25,599
[flowing rock music]
459
00:18:25,624 --> 00:18:33,597
460
00:18:44,893 --> 00:18:47,811
I used too much glue.
461
00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:52,973
It's a good thing you're so pretty.
462
00:18:53,030 --> 00:18:55,397
Hey, are you okay?
463
00:18:55,548 --> 00:18:57,214
You were right.
464
00:18:57,239 --> 00:19:01,575
Revenge on Theo, Jimmy,
whatever the hell his name is,
465
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,316
it didn't make me feel any better.
466
00:19:03,341 --> 00:19:04,590
It's just gonna take time.
467
00:19:04,615 --> 00:19:07,650
Great. [bleep] time.
468
00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:10,008
That wasn't the answer I wanted.
469
00:19:13,094 --> 00:19:14,543
I got to go.
470
00:19:14,568 --> 00:19:17,188
Maybe you can squeeze in a
little me time before bed,
471
00:19:17,213 --> 00:19:18,358
if you know what I mean.
472
00:19:18,383 --> 00:19:20,991
Very funny, but I texted Reagan,
473
00:19:21,016 --> 00:19:23,361
and she's on her way over.
474
00:19:23,658 --> 00:19:26,326
I'm gonna tell her how I really feel.
475
00:19:26,516 --> 00:19:27,681
You were right.
476
00:19:27,706 --> 00:19:29,616
If I want a real relationship with her,
477
00:19:29,641 --> 00:19:31,941
then I have to be honest.
478
00:19:31,966 --> 00:19:34,751
Arr, I've got your back, Matey.
479
00:19:34,776 --> 00:19:37,526
Don't do that.
480
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,544
- Speaking of being honest.
- I'm not telling Duke.
481
00:19:40,569 --> 00:19:41,921
Got to run.
482
00:19:41,946 --> 00:19:43,325
Bye!
483
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,437
Oh, Karma. How'd it go?
484
00:19:49,462 --> 00:19:52,129
- We need to talk.
- Oh, no.
485
00:19:52,154 --> 00:19:53,474
Did you two get in a fight?
486
00:19:53,499 --> 00:19:55,225
No, actually, we bonded.
487
00:19:55,250 --> 00:19:58,278
I got to learn a little more about Reagan.
488
00:19:58,304 --> 00:20:01,012
Like, did you know that her last
girlfriend dumped her for a boy,
489
00:20:01,037 --> 00:20:02,615
and now she has zero tolerance
490
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,095
for girls who are
questioning their sexuality?
491
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:09,572
Oh, that.
492
00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:11,807
She thinks you have it all figured out.
493
00:20:11,832 --> 00:20:13,615
Amy, you have to tell her the truth.
494
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,195
I know. But how do I even begin?
495
00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:18,748
"Oh, by the way, I'm
sometimes attracted to guys
496
00:20:18,773 --> 00:20:21,357
and oh, I once slept with Liam."
497
00:20:21,382 --> 00:20:23,695
(Karma) Maybe ease into that last part.
498
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,269
[yearning acoustic music]
499
00:20:30,116 --> 00:20:31,311
Man: Next on "Faking It"...
500
00:20:31,311 --> 00:20:33,007
After everything I've
been through with my ex,
501
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:34,589
how can you not tell me you're into guys?
502
00:20:34,614 --> 00:20:37,053
- Survey says lesbian.
- Prove it.
503
00:20:37,079 --> 00:20:39,213
Sounds like you want to be monogamous.
504
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,171
What?
505
00:20:40,196 --> 00:20:42,630
We're now official in an open relationship.
506
00:20:42,655 --> 00:20:44,435
Why are you so against me being a lesbian?
507
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,540
I'm against you changing
who you are to make
508
00:20:46,542 --> 00:20:47,633
someone else happy.
509
00:20:47,658 --> 00:20:50,286
- Why the hell are you here?
- I want you back.
510
00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:54,886
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