Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,101 --> 00:00:03,612
_
2
00:00:04,349 --> 00:00:08,607
_
3
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,868
The Wild West is Los Angeles.
4
00:00:15,969 --> 00:00:17,004
You're dead, you're dead.
5
00:00:17,103 --> 00:00:19,673
Everybody's [bleep] dead.
Where did all this booze go?
6
00:00:19,772 --> 00:00:21,274
He looked at Rin
Tin Tin, and he's like,
7
00:00:21,373 --> 00:00:23,475
You got to jump like you never
jumped before, okay, dude?
8
00:00:23,576 --> 00:00:26,112
So he's like, Yep.
And Rin Tin Tin jumped it.
9
00:00:26,213 --> 00:00:28,147
[belches]
10
00:00:28,248 --> 00:00:30,317
So Mulholland's like,
You just [bleep] build a pipe.
11
00:00:30,416 --> 00:00:32,718
Boop, and you get to L.A.
12
00:00:32,818 --> 00:00:34,721
There's spies.
There's bribery.
13
00:00:34,821 --> 00:00:36,188
There's manipulation.
14
00:00:36,288 --> 00:00:39,525
- [bleep] me, man.
- Alcohol is crazy.
15
00:00:39,626 --> 00:00:42,055
[patriotic music]
16
00:00:46,409 --> 00:00:50,619
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
17
00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:55,858
You can have the dream of America,
and you can stop in Wichita,
18
00:00:55,958 --> 00:00:57,326
or you can really have
the dream of America
19
00:00:57,427 --> 00:00:58,861
and come on out to Los Angeles.
20
00:00:58,961 --> 00:01:02,532
Anywhere... anytime you want
a Mexican food, you can get it,
21
00:01:02,632 --> 00:01:05,368
out of a truck, from
a man... or a woman.
22
00:01:05,468 --> 00:01:07,237
They think that everybody
wants to be famous.
23
00:01:07,336 --> 00:01:10,105
No, we don't.
It's not our everyday life.
24
00:01:10,205 --> 00:01:12,942
- I love L.A.
- Just, L.A. is wonderful.
25
00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:17,279
- It's a beautiful place.
- It's also fake as [bleep].
26
00:01:17,379 --> 00:01:19,582
So you're gonna...
I want to make you an L.A. drink.
27
00:01:19,681 --> 00:01:20,748
It's just lettuce.
28
00:01:20,850 --> 00:01:22,050
This is gonna make you
[bleep] your brains out.
29
00:01:22,151 --> 00:01:23,753
[blender whirring]
30
00:01:23,853 --> 00:01:25,922
It's like something
you see in "Double Dare."
31
00:01:26,022 --> 00:01:29,692
To Los Angeles.
32
00:01:29,791 --> 00:01:32,327
You've got the most
adorable Hitler mustache.
33
00:01:32,428 --> 00:01:34,263
Hulk Hitler.
34
00:01:34,404 --> 00:01:37,073
- Okay, Derek.
- Hello, Seth.
35
00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:39,609
What if I drank all of this at once?
36
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:44,246
You know what the Terminator said:
"We make our future."
37
00:01:44,347 --> 00:01:49,485
- Okay. [laughs]
- It was so much.
38
00:01:49,586 --> 00:01:52,928
Hello.
I'm Seth Weitberg, and today
39
00:01:52,929 --> 00:01:58,327
we're going to talk
about the creation of the LAPD.
40
00:01:58,426 --> 00:02:02,865
In 1847, the leader of the
Mexican forces, Andres Pico,
41
00:02:02,964 --> 00:02:06,034
signs the treaty that
give California to America.
42
00:02:06,135 --> 00:02:10,539
And the Wild West is Los Angeles.
43
00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,609
You've got Californios
that have been here forever.
44
00:02:12,708 --> 00:02:14,210
You've got Utah Indians.
45
00:02:14,309 --> 00:02:16,212
You've got Germans.
You've got French.
46
00:02:16,312 --> 00:02:18,780
You've got Jews.
But there's no police force.
47
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,884
And one of the guys that
shows up is Benjamin Hayes.
48
00:02:21,985 --> 00:02:24,654
He's a lawyer, and he's like,
Hey, guys, don't sweat it.
49
00:02:24,754 --> 00:02:27,223
I know American law.
Like, I can help you out, okay.
50
00:02:27,323 --> 00:02:31,260
And he becomes the first
ever judge of Los Angeles.
51
00:02:31,361 --> 00:02:33,096
And he's like,
I hope we have a good jail.
52
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:36,231
And someone's like,
Actually, it's just a single
53
00:02:36,232 --> 00:02:39,267
room with a log with four
chains attached to it.
54
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,137
And he's like, Oh, no...
55
00:02:42,237 --> 00:02:43,238
[laughs]
56
00:02:43,338 --> 00:02:47,542
So Judge Hayes is like,
Guys, we need a [bleep] police force.
57
00:02:47,642 --> 00:02:50,812
Why don't we all give a little bit
of money, we'll hire a police force,
58
00:02:50,913 --> 00:02:52,481
and we can be in control of
them and tell them what to do.
59
00:02:52,581 --> 00:02:55,318
And the people of Los Angeles
are like, Law enforcement?
60
00:02:55,417 --> 00:03:00,958
That's a stupid idea.
You stupid [bleep] 35-year-old.
61
00:03:01,758 --> 00:03:04,893
Oh, no, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
62
00:03:04,993 --> 00:03:06,862
Where did all this booze go?
63
00:03:06,962 --> 00:03:09,064
[laughing]
64
00:03:09,165 --> 00:03:10,466
I drank it all.
65
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:14,069
Okay, so there's a party.
Andres Pico is there.
66
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:16,772
He's like, I love your party.
These ranches.
67
00:03:16,873 --> 00:03:18,241
Cool times, great oldies.
68
00:03:18,341 --> 00:03:20,944
And these gamblers [bleep]
hear, and they're like,
69
00:03:21,044 --> 00:03:25,113
- Uh, did we get invited to that fiesta?
- No, no-no-n-n-n-no.
70
00:03:25,213 --> 00:03:27,149
- Well, you want to go?
- Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.
71
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:29,684
- Should we bring anything?
- I mean, it's nice to bring something.
72
00:03:29,785 --> 00:03:33,223
And they show up with a... cannon!
73
00:03:33,323 --> 00:03:34,756
[dramatic music]
74
00:03:34,856 --> 00:03:37,760
And they're like.
Why didn't you guys invite us?
75
00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:41,030
It's a common...
[slowly] courtesy.
76
00:03:41,129 --> 00:03:44,366
Andres Pico decides, in that moment,
77
00:03:44,467 --> 00:03:46,669
[bleep] the law,
[bleep] Benjamin Hayes,
78
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:47,937
[bleep] the court system,
79
00:03:48,036 --> 00:03:50,206
[bleep] California,
[bleep] America.
80
00:03:50,306 --> 00:03:54,410
You're stupid as [bleep]
for bringing a cannon.
81
00:03:54,510 --> 00:03:57,647
And I have a pistol,
and I'm gonna kill you.
82
00:03:57,747 --> 00:03:59,082
Bang-bang-bang!
83
00:03:59,182 --> 00:04:01,985
Hayes is like,
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!
84
00:04:02,085 --> 00:04:05,420
And everyone else is like,
Oh, my God.
85
00:04:05,521 --> 00:04:09,190
They don't think that's a bad idea.
Instead they think,
86
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,961
That's a good idea.
87
00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:13,962
And Andres Pico's like, [bleep] right.
88
00:04:14,062 --> 00:04:16,765
Let's form a commi...
a vigilance committee.
89
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:19,133
And he forms a vig...
he forms this vigilance committee.
90
00:04:19,235 --> 00:04:21,437
And they're like,
Hey, let's sit around.
91
00:04:21,537 --> 00:04:25,007
Let's, like, figure out,
like, who did a bad thing.
92
00:04:25,107 --> 00:04:27,476
If they did a bad thing, let's get them.
93
00:04:27,576 --> 00:04:29,211
And someone comes in
the vigilance committee.
94
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,379
They're like, Hey, there's a
couple murderers in the jail
95
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,849
that we... that just escaped.
96
00:04:32,949 --> 00:04:34,516
Pico, like, chases down
these two murderers.
97
00:04:34,617 --> 00:04:35,518
Boom-boom-boom!
98
00:04:35,617 --> 00:04:36,952
[bleep] kills them.
99
00:04:37,052 --> 00:04:39,288
And the L.A. Star,
the first newspaper in L.A.,
100
00:04:39,388 --> 00:04:43,192
they're like, Form posses.
This is a great idea.
101
00:04:43,292 --> 00:04:44,593
Get the bad guys!
102
00:04:44,692 --> 00:04:48,730
And everybody's like, Oh, my God!
We should form a posse!
103
00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:53,369
And hanging fever breaks
out in Los Angeles.
104
00:04:53,468 --> 00:04:56,372
Everyone's like, Oh, you're vandalizing
that building over there?
105
00:04:56,471 --> 00:04:57,372
I'ma hang you.
106
00:04:57,473 --> 00:04:59,675
You just stole a horse?
I'ma hang you.
107
00:04:59,775 --> 00:05:01,276
Oh, you just [bleep] murdered someone?
108
00:05:01,377 --> 00:05:02,778
I'm definitely gonna hang you.
109
00:05:02,879 --> 00:05:05,514
I'll probably shoot you in the street
before I even hang you.
110
00:05:05,614 --> 00:05:11,720
By 1855, in Los Annngggeles,
there's a murder every single day.
111
00:05:11,821 --> 00:05:13,321
It's like the Terrordome.
112
00:05:13,422 --> 00:05:17,259
Hayes is like, The vigilance
committee has gone too far.
113
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:22,698
I'm going to issue a warrant
to arrest these vigilantes.
114
00:05:22,797 --> 00:05:25,868
No one's ever heard of vigilantes,
but they're called vigilantes.
115
00:05:25,968 --> 00:05:27,336
I'm making up this term.
116
00:05:27,435 --> 00:05:31,106
Judge Hayes goes out to
the homes of the vigilantes.
117
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,808
And he's like, I have a
warrant for your arrest
118
00:05:32,908 --> 00:05:34,242
because you're vigilantes.
119
00:05:34,343 --> 00:05:38,346
And they're like,
Well, in that case...
120
00:05:38,446 --> 00:05:41,354
[weakly] I'm gonna stay in my house.
121
00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:43,052
I'm gonna stay in my house.
122
00:05:43,151 --> 00:05:44,786
And he's like, Aw, man.
123
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,689
I wish these people would
just come out of their house
124
00:05:46,788 --> 00:05:50,659
so I could try them
in a jury with a trial.
125
00:05:50,759 --> 00:05:56,664
There's no police force!
Thanks, you [bleep]...
126
00:05:56,766 --> 00:05:59,201
[laughter]
127
00:05:59,352 --> 00:06:01,454
- What was that? What was that?
- The boom.
128
00:06:01,554 --> 00:06:02,688
Bo dropped the boom.
129
00:06:02,789 --> 00:06:04,856
By the way, I have
to pee so bad right now.
130
00:06:04,957 --> 00:06:07,326
But I'm gonna finish this
story, and then I'm gonna pee,
131
00:06:07,426 --> 00:06:09,094
and then we're gonna have
good times, great oldies.
132
00:06:09,195 --> 00:06:12,565
So, in 1857, someone
comes in, they're like,
133
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:16,068
Hey, Sheriff Barton
just got [bleep] killed.
134
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:19,070
And the vigilance committee is like...
[belches]
135
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,640
Crazy.
You thought it was bad before?
136
00:06:21,741 --> 00:06:23,142
Pico's like, You're dead, you're dead,
137
00:06:23,241 --> 00:06:26,111
you're dead, you're dead, you're dead.
Everybody's [bleep] dead.
138
00:06:26,212 --> 00:06:27,813
Blood against the walls,
blood on the streets.
139
00:06:27,914 --> 00:06:29,816
Blop-blop-blop!
[blows raspberry]
140
00:06:29,916 --> 00:06:31,117
Everybody, dead, dead, dead,
141
00:06:31,217 --> 00:06:32,984
dead, dead, dead,
dead, dead, dead, dead.
142
00:06:33,085 --> 00:06:34,654
Blood everywhere.
143
00:06:34,753 --> 00:06:37,256
And at the end of two weeks,
the L.A. Star, the newspaper,
144
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:42,061
is finally like,
Mm, I think we went too far.
145
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,531
And Andres Pico is like,
I just beheaded so many dudes.
146
00:06:45,631 --> 00:06:49,200
You know what?
The better way for me is,
147
00:06:49,301 --> 00:06:51,537
I'm gonna go into the state senate.
148
00:06:51,637 --> 00:06:54,373
I'm gonna be a politician.
That's the way to do it.
149
00:06:54,474 --> 00:06:57,443
Gandhi, M.L.K.,
you know, that's how we do it.
150
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:03,123
And so, in 1869,
the people of Los Angeles finally say,
151
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,051
You know what, we should
give a little bit of money
152
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:06,352
and have a police force.
153
00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:07,820
And Judge Hayes is like,
154
00:07:07,919 --> 00:07:13,092
That's what I asked for in 1852,
you [bleep] doofuses.
155
00:07:13,191 --> 00:07:17,763
And bottom line,
that is where the LAPD comes from.
156
00:07:17,863 --> 00:07:20,066
Now we have law.
157
00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:22,801
I can't feel my teeth.
[laughs]
158
00:07:24,461 --> 00:07:27,345
Cheers to friendship and
the good city of Los Angeles.
159
00:07:27,445 --> 00:07:29,414
I love it here, man.
It gave us our dream.
160
00:07:29,513 --> 00:07:32,316
- City of Angels.
- Yes, sir.
161
00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:34,152
That'll be the day.
162
00:07:38,188 --> 00:07:40,767
I think you beat me.
[laughs]
163
00:07:42,326 --> 00:07:45,629
All right go on, turn... oh.
Oh, okay.
164
00:07:45,729 --> 00:07:47,230
I didn't know that was happening again.
165
00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:48,866
I'm sick of all the
people on message boards
166
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:51,703
saying we're not really drunk.
[banging]
167
00:07:55,039 --> 00:08:00,878
- You do it so gracefully.
- I do, but... [belches]
168
00:08:00,977 --> 00:08:03,047
Hello, I'm Eric Edelstein,
169
00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:05,750
and today we're gonna tell
the story of Rin Tin Tin,
170
00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:08,419
Hollywood's first superstar.
171
00:08:08,518 --> 00:08:12,556
Our story starts in 1898.
Lee Duncan is sent to an orphanage.
172
00:08:12,657 --> 00:08:15,325
He's like,
Dude, Mom, you're dropping me off?
173
00:08:15,426 --> 00:08:16,794
And his mom is like,
174
00:08:16,893 --> 00:08:19,965
Don't worry, it's fine.
That's the deal.
175
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:22,466
And he's like,
Man, all I want is one friend.
176
00:08:22,566 --> 00:08:24,367
All I need in this life is one friend,
177
00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:25,970
because he never had anything, man.
178
00:08:26,071 --> 00:08:27,739
Well, then World War I happens.
179
00:08:27,839 --> 00:08:31,342
Lee Duncan is sent out
to a part of France,
180
00:08:31,441 --> 00:08:33,510
and he hears something.
181
00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:36,079
He's like, Holy [bleep].
What's that sound?
182
00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,680
It's like...
[whimpering]
183
00:08:41,284 --> 00:08:43,153
You know that sound, huh?
184
00:08:43,253 --> 00:08:46,925
He sees a German shepherd
covering five puppies.
185
00:08:47,024 --> 00:08:51,095
There were 16 million animal
soldiers in World War I.
186
00:08:51,195 --> 00:08:53,864
And gives a way the mother
to somebody who wants the mother.
187
00:08:53,965 --> 00:08:55,999
And he gives away all
the puppies but two.
188
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,436
And he's like, I'm gonna name
you Rin Tin Tin and Nanette.
189
00:08:59,537 --> 00:09:01,739
- You just booked.
- Cheers.
190
00:09:06,243 --> 00:09:09,013
- Ah, that's got a good taste.
- Mhm.
191
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:10,547
So the war eventually ends,
192
00:09:10,648 --> 00:09:14,118
and then Nanette gets very
sick, and Nanette passes away.
193
00:09:14,218 --> 00:09:15,753
And so all he has is Rin Tin Tin,
194
00:09:15,853 --> 00:09:17,588
and so he wasn't sure
what he was gonna do.
195
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:21,025
But he knew it was gonna
somehow involve Rin Tin Tin.
196
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,728
Only problem,
a newspaper boy,
197
00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:25,797
some Bennie Arthur type asshole,
198
00:09:25,897 --> 00:09:30,133
comes by, throws a stack of newspapers,
199
00:09:30,234 --> 00:09:34,672
and nails Rin Tin Tin in the leg.
And somebody says,
200
00:09:34,772 --> 00:09:37,807
This is a time where if your dog's leg
breaks in four places,
201
00:09:37,907 --> 00:09:40,210
unfortunately it's gonna
have to be probably put down.
202
00:09:40,311 --> 00:09:42,479
You get gangrene, you
get some weird [bleep].
203
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:46,318
So he said, Man, this dog's
leg is broken in four places.
204
00:09:46,417 --> 00:09:48,286
The vet's told me it's
gonna take nine months.
205
00:09:48,385 --> 00:09:50,654
What am I gonna do?
206
00:09:50,754 --> 00:09:54,525
Dude, I'm gonna train it.
And magic's gonna happen.
207
00:09:54,624 --> 00:09:57,795
Lee trains him to sit.
Lee trains him to fetch.
208
00:09:57,894 --> 00:09:59,563
Lee trains him to run.
209
00:09:59,663 --> 00:10:02,899
This dog is doing
something that is amazing.
210
00:10:02,999 --> 00:10:06,135
So he brings Rin Tin Tin
to the Pasadena Dog Show,
211
00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:08,038
and his friend Charlie
Jones comes along.
212
00:10:08,138 --> 00:10:09,505
He's like, Hey, want to do something?
213
00:10:09,605 --> 00:10:11,675
What about your dog there?
Your dog's pretty cool.
214
00:10:11,776 --> 00:10:13,878
Maybe we can make him jump.
215
00:10:13,978 --> 00:10:17,415
And then they set up
an 11-foot, 8-foot jump.
216
00:10:17,514 --> 00:10:20,450
11-foot, 8-inch jump.
217
00:10:20,551 --> 00:10:23,888
He looked at Rin Tin Tin, and he's like,
Dude, this is your chance.
218
00:10:23,988 --> 00:10:27,358
I feel like fate and circumstance
has placed us here.
219
00:10:27,457 --> 00:10:28,825
You just got to jump.
220
00:10:28,926 --> 00:10:30,895
You got to jump like you never
jumped before, okay, dude?
221
00:10:30,994 --> 00:10:32,830
So he was like, Yep, I'll jump.
222
00:10:32,930 --> 00:10:35,431
And Rin Tin Tin jumped it.
223
00:10:35,532 --> 00:10:37,835
Lee sees Rin Tin Tin jumping.
224
00:10:37,936 --> 00:10:39,436
He says, Holy [bleep], movies.
225
00:10:39,536 --> 00:10:42,940
This is... yeah, this is what
Rin Tin Tin is supposed to do.
226
00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:45,509
And then they say Rin Tin Tin...
[clattering]
227
00:10:45,609 --> 00:10:49,080
Thank God you dropped that.
I had no idea where I was going.
228
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:51,347
It was amazing.
So, basically...
229
00:10:51,447 --> 00:10:52,615
[beer can pops open]
230
00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:54,117
Lee Duncan goes over
the Warner Brothers.
231
00:10:54,219 --> 00:10:56,552
So this guy literally went to the gates
232
00:10:56,653 --> 00:10:58,888
and started doing
tricks with Rin Tin Tin.
233
00:10:58,989 --> 00:11:01,458
Harry Warner saw it, and he's like,
Look at that dog jump.
234
00:11:01,558 --> 00:11:03,026
That dog's pretty good.
235
00:11:03,127 --> 00:11:05,162
I'd be interested in what
that dog might be offering.
236
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:06,430
Some producer comes out, he's like,
237
00:11:06,529 --> 00:11:08,498
Yeah, you know, we got a
wolf movie, but we could use,
238
00:11:08,499 --> 00:11:10,467
like, an extra. He'll be
buried in the background.
239
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:11,601
So he came in.
240
00:11:11,701 --> 00:11:14,037
The wolf they had...
they had a real goddamn wolf.
241
00:11:14,138 --> 00:11:16,073
When it came time,
when the lights was on,
242
00:11:16,173 --> 00:11:17,574
the wolf sucked,
243
00:11:17,675 --> 00:11:19,477
so they couldn't get this
wolf to do the tricks.
244
00:11:19,576 --> 00:11:23,915
So Lee jumped up and said,
Hey, Rin Tin Tin looks like a wolf.
245
00:11:24,014 --> 00:11:26,917
They said, Rin Tin Tin,
hey, man, can you be a wolf?
246
00:11:27,018 --> 00:11:28,418
Rin Tin Tin's like, Yeah.
247
00:11:28,518 --> 00:11:32,156
Then, boom, it's on.
Rin Tin Tin crushed.
248
00:11:32,255 --> 00:11:34,791
Imagine, like, [bleep]
Ryan Stiles '96.
249
00:11:34,892 --> 00:11:37,662
[laughing]
250
00:11:37,762 --> 00:11:39,196
That's how good Rin Tin Tin was.
251
00:11:39,296 --> 00:11:41,232
Then Harry Warner says,
252
00:11:41,331 --> 00:11:44,500
Man, how can we get more
money out of that dog?
253
00:11:44,601 --> 00:11:46,837
That's when Lee Duncan
steps up and says,
254
00:11:46,937 --> 00:11:48,306
Dude, funny you should ask.
255
00:11:48,406 --> 00:11:51,775
I have a script involving this dog.
Let's do it.
256
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:53,009
Harry Warner's like,
257
00:11:53,109 --> 00:11:55,478
Yeah, this script's pretty good.
All right, let's do it.
258
00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:57,782
And so they make
Rin Tin Tin's first movie,
259
00:11:57,882 --> 00:12:00,917
and it's huge.
The applause went on forever.
260
00:12:01,018 --> 00:12:04,654
And Rin Tin Tin went on
to make tons of movies.
261
00:12:04,754 --> 00:12:07,557
Ah, Rin Tin Tin is jumping.
Rin Tin Tin is flying.
262
00:12:07,658 --> 00:12:09,393
Rin Tin Tin did his own stunts.
263
00:12:09,493 --> 00:12:12,296
So he became the biggest
star in Hollywood.
264
00:12:12,396 --> 00:12:15,300
Warner Brothers goes from
being worth $16 million
265
00:12:15,399 --> 00:12:19,236
to $200 million,
like that, because of a dog.
266
00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:20,903
You could really argue Rin Tin Tin
267
00:12:21,004 --> 00:12:23,072
was the best actor in
Hollywood at that time.
268
00:12:23,172 --> 00:12:26,777
Dude, the first ever Academy Awards,
they had actors vote
269
00:12:26,878 --> 00:12:28,613
on who the best actor in the world is.
270
00:12:28,713 --> 00:12:31,249
Well, when the award
for best actor came back,
271
00:12:31,349 --> 00:12:33,718
it was won by Rin Tin Tin,
272
00:12:33,817 --> 00:12:35,919
at which point they said,
We cannot have this.
273
00:12:36,019 --> 00:12:37,287
This is embarrassing.
274
00:12:37,388 --> 00:12:39,322
We want this award to
have some legitimacy.
275
00:12:39,422 --> 00:12:42,659
We cannot give it to a goddamn dog.
[chuckles]
276
00:12:42,759 --> 00:12:45,028
- To a dog.
- And then they did a recount,
277
00:12:45,128 --> 00:12:46,596
and they gave it to some guy named Emil.
278
00:12:46,696 --> 00:12:50,133
And then, unfortunately,
in 1932, Rin Tin Tin dies.
279
00:12:50,234 --> 00:12:53,904
And America stops.
Like, they cut into every
280
00:12:53,905 --> 00:12:57,040
radio broadcast at the time.
People are devastated.
281
00:12:57,141 --> 00:12:59,609
People are like, Oh, my God.
This is the biggest star in the world.
282
00:12:59,710 --> 00:13:00,979
This is the biggest actor in the world.
283
00:13:01,079 --> 00:13:04,848
This is the only actor we really
love since Valentino, and he's dead.
284
00:13:04,949 --> 00:13:07,635
And so people are so sad,
and people never thought
285
00:13:07,636 --> 00:13:10,321
another Rin Tin Tin could come
again, and they were right.
286
00:13:10,421 --> 00:13:13,657
Dude, Rin Tin Tin, to me,
is the promise of L.A.
287
00:13:13,757 --> 00:13:15,693
Like, you can come
down here with a dream,
288
00:13:15,792 --> 00:13:20,229
and if you can do your job,
man, it happens!
289
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:24,934
This town is magic.
I love Los Angeles with all my heart.
290
00:13:25,034 --> 00:13:28,104
It's given me everything.
I pinch myself.
291
00:13:28,205 --> 00:13:30,907
Life is so beautiful here.
292
00:13:31,008 --> 00:13:32,911
[fart]
[bleep].
293
00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:36,714
Yes, excuse me.
I farted, I admit it.
294
00:13:36,814 --> 00:13:37,815
But I'm allowed to.
295
00:13:37,915 --> 00:13:41,385
I got a great house,
girl, dog, everything.
296
00:13:41,485 --> 00:13:43,960
I farted.
[clank]
297
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,669
This is the second or
third year in 80 years
298
00:13:48,769 --> 00:13:50,671
that anybody's been able
to kayak in the L.A. River.
299
00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:52,671
- I'm ready. Let's go.
- Let's go down the L.A. River.
300
00:13:52,771 --> 00:13:53,674
Let's go down there.
301
00:13:53,774 --> 00:13:57,102
- Ready when you are.
- Oh, yeah!
302
00:13:57,242 --> 00:13:58,510
The L.A. River used to be
303
00:13:58,611 --> 00:14:02,048
the sole source of water
for the city of Los Angeles.
304
00:14:02,148 --> 00:14:04,117
You know, when you
don't educate yourself,
305
00:14:04,217 --> 00:14:09,722
you just always imagine the L.A. River's
just the scene from "Terminator."
306
00:14:09,823 --> 00:14:12,525
We're gonna have some rapids
up ahead, so be careful.
307
00:14:12,625 --> 00:14:15,861
- L.A. River... oh, [bleep]!
- Sweep left, sweep left!
308
00:14:15,962 --> 00:14:18,297
- Whoa!
- Awesome.
309
00:14:18,398 --> 00:14:20,967
- Whoa, hang on, hang on.
- Oh, no!
310
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:23,268
Oh, no!
Oh!
311
00:14:23,368 --> 00:14:27,408
Ah!
[blowing whistle]
312
00:14:29,309 --> 00:14:31,977
Hello, I'm Jeremy Konner.
313
00:14:32,078 --> 00:14:35,848
And today we're going to talk about...
[laughs]
314
00:14:35,948 --> 00:14:39,519
Sorry.
[laughter]
315
00:14:39,618 --> 00:14:41,821
That's hello.
You want to say hello.
316
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,857
- I'm so [bleep] up, man.
- No, I see.
317
00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:47,026
You're looking at me over here,
and I'm over here.
318
00:14:47,126 --> 00:14:49,828
- You're the goddamn director of this.
- I know.
319
00:14:49,929 --> 00:14:53,333
I'm the goddamn director of this.
So far, my favorite quote.
320
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:58,105
- Go on.
- Hello, I'm Jeremy Konner.
321
00:14:58,204 --> 00:15:01,275
And today we're going to be talking
322
00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:04,510
about the L.A. aqueduct.
323
00:15:04,611 --> 00:15:07,847
- Cheers.
- Cheers. Aqueduct.
324
00:15:07,947 --> 00:15:14,320
So William Mulholland is the head
of the L.A. city water company.
325
00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:15,888
And he realizes, like,
326
00:15:15,988 --> 00:15:19,058
We need to figure something out,
because L.A. is growing.
327
00:15:19,158 --> 00:15:21,695
And either L.A. has to stop growing
328
00:15:21,794 --> 00:15:25,231
or we have to figure out more... water.
329
00:15:25,332 --> 00:15:28,201
Mulholland goes to Fred Eaton.
330
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,570
I mean, he's just the most powerful man.
331
00:15:30,669 --> 00:15:33,139
And he's like,
Hey, you're my best friend.
332
00:15:33,238 --> 00:15:35,743
You're my mentor.
We're [bleep]-ed.
333
00:15:35,842 --> 00:15:38,878
Eaton is like,
There is a place
334
00:15:38,978 --> 00:15:41,680
that I used to go when I was a kid.
335
00:15:41,780 --> 00:15:45,784
It's a [bleep]-ing,
like, 200 miles away.
336
00:15:45,885 --> 00:15:48,288
I know.
It sounds nuts.
337
00:15:48,387 --> 00:15:51,790
But shut the [bleep] up.
It's gonna save all of our problems.
338
00:15:51,890 --> 00:15:57,631
Mulholland's like...
I'm interested, but I'm not...
339
00:15:57,731 --> 00:16:03,303
like, 100% on your page, but I...
340
00:16:03,403 --> 00:16:06,172
- I'm on your page. [chuckles]
- But he's on a page.
341
00:16:06,271 --> 00:16:08,273
But he's on the page.
342
00:16:08,374 --> 00:16:12,612
So they go up to the Owens Valley,
and Eaton is like,
343
00:16:12,712 --> 00:16:18,351
This lake is 4,000 feet above sea level.
344
00:16:18,451 --> 00:16:22,287
Los Angeles,
just a couple feet above sea level.
345
00:16:22,387 --> 00:16:26,626
Mulholland's like,
Oh, my God, it's all downhill.
346
00:16:26,727 --> 00:16:30,328
Broop, all the way to L.A., 250 miles.
347
00:16:30,429 --> 00:16:33,165
Broop, all the way to L.A.
348
00:16:33,265 --> 00:16:37,337
You just [bleep]-ing build a pipe,
broop, and you get to L.A.
349
00:16:37,437 --> 00:16:41,073
But Eaton says,
We're gonna have to break some laws.
350
00:16:41,174 --> 00:16:46,313
We're gonna have to
do some shady, shady...
351
00:16:46,413 --> 00:16:49,515
- Can we watch "My Cousin Vinny"?
- No, you were talking.
352
00:16:49,616 --> 00:16:51,083
You don't want to
watch "My Cousin Vinny"?
353
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:54,420
- Let's just continue on the story.
- Oh, I was saying that...
354
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:59,492
[stuttering]
[laughter]
355
00:16:59,923 --> 00:17:04,628
So Eaton starts buying up
all of the Owens Valley, illegally,
356
00:17:04,727 --> 00:17:06,196
because they need the water rights.
357
00:17:06,295 --> 00:17:09,398
And they get the L.A. Times
to publish fake stories,
358
00:17:09,498 --> 00:17:11,100
like, "We're all gonna die.
359
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,203
Guys, if we don't have
water, we're all gonna die."
360
00:17:14,303 --> 00:17:17,006
And it's all nonsense.
It's all fake.
361
00:17:17,107 --> 00:17:20,610
There's spies, there's bribery,
there's manipulation.
362
00:17:20,709 --> 00:17:23,881
I mean, these guys were the worst...
worse than anyone.
363
00:17:23,981 --> 00:17:25,982
But the most [bleep]-ed up thing is,
364
00:17:26,081 --> 00:17:28,184
Eaton, he sneaks off to his buddies.
365
00:17:28,283 --> 00:17:30,020
This is the San Fernando Syndicate.
366
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,488
And he's like,
There's this big ah...
367
00:17:32,589 --> 00:17:35,558
big-ass basin in the
San Fernando Valley
368
00:17:35,658 --> 00:17:39,263
that just [bleep]-ing is
just chilling out here.
369
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,898
Buy up land in the San Fernando Valley.
370
00:17:41,997 --> 00:17:43,632
And then, when the water comes,
371
00:17:43,733 --> 00:17:47,437
we're all gonna make gazillions.
372
00:17:47,537 --> 00:17:51,041
"Chinatown," man.
And eventually,
373
00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:53,810
the people of L.A. vote
to create the aqueduct.
374
00:17:53,909 --> 00:17:56,345
This is a [bleep]-ing pipe
375
00:17:56,446 --> 00:18:00,751
in 1904, five, six, seven, whatever,
376
00:18:00,850 --> 00:18:04,682
250 miles long.
377
00:18:05,287 --> 00:18:10,392
On the opening, William Mulholland
turns on the water, and he's like,
378
00:18:10,493 --> 00:18:12,995
There it is.
Take it.
379
00:18:13,096 --> 00:18:15,365
And the water starts
[bleep]-ing shooting out.
380
00:18:15,465 --> 00:18:21,571
And that is the great moment
of William Mulholland's...
381
00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:24,373
something.
Hey.
382
00:18:24,474 --> 00:18:27,710
- Oh, Jesus.
- This is so stupid.
383
00:18:27,811 --> 00:18:28,846
[laughter]
384
00:18:32,165 --> 00:18:33,167
[groaning]
385
00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:35,769
- Hello.
- Hi, Jer.
386
00:18:35,870 --> 00:18:36,838
What year are we in?
387
00:18:36,938 --> 00:18:40,144
- I don't know.
- Yes, you do.
388
00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:43,644
After 1913,
389
00:18:43,744 --> 00:18:46,815
water is coming to L.A.
like nobody's business.
390
00:18:46,914 --> 00:18:50,985
The population is [bleep] exploding.
There's palm trees.
391
00:18:51,085 --> 00:18:54,121
Palm trees don't exist in Los Angeles.
It's a desert.
392
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:59,226
But the people who profit most out
of this is Eaton and his buddies.
393
00:18:59,325 --> 00:19:03,631
Then, in the 1920s, there's a
drought, and it's a real drought.
394
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:08,202
It's a [bleep]-ing for real,
for real, for real, for real.
395
00:19:08,303 --> 00:19:09,570
And Mulholland says,
396
00:19:09,671 --> 00:19:14,075
Oh, my God, like, this is...
We need a reservoir.
397
00:19:14,174 --> 00:19:16,009
Mulholland goes to Eaton.
398
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:19,847
Eaton has bought up the only dam site
in the entire Owens Valley.
399
00:19:19,948 --> 00:19:20,982
And he's like,
400
00:19:21,082 --> 00:19:23,184
You can have my dam site for $1 million.
401
00:19:23,284 --> 00:19:26,787
And Mulholland's like...
[distant moaning sound]
402
00:19:26,887 --> 00:19:29,289
[laughter]
403
00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:30,658
I didn't do that.
404
00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:34,195
So Mulholland's like, [bleep] it.
I'm gonna build the goddamn reservoir,
405
00:19:34,296 --> 00:19:35,863
and it's gonna be
[bleep]-ing beautiful,
406
00:19:35,962 --> 00:19:38,132
and, m'wah, [bleep] you.
407
00:19:38,231 --> 00:19:41,167
And he [bleep]-ing
built the St. Francis Dam
408
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:44,104
in San Francis... Francisquito.
409
00:19:44,204 --> 00:19:45,839
And everything is great.
410
00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:49,843
And then they go,
Hey, William Mulholland, there's a leak.
411
00:19:49,943 --> 00:19:51,311
And William Mulholland's like,
412
00:19:51,412 --> 00:19:54,181
I'm kind of in the
middle of a power play.
413
00:19:54,281 --> 00:19:58,952
I ain't worried about
that [bleep] [bleep], dawg.
414
00:19:59,053 --> 00:19:59,954
He goes to sleep.
415
00:20:00,054 --> 00:20:03,491
That night,
he gets a phone call in the night.
416
00:20:03,591 --> 00:20:05,894
The dam has broke.
417
00:20:05,994 --> 00:20:09,931
There are more dead than
the San Francisco earthquake.
418
00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:15,102
And this was William
Mulholland's downfall.
419
00:20:15,202 --> 00:20:20,173
But in the end, between
Mulholland and Eaton, they were...
420
00:20:20,274 --> 00:20:24,111
they created Los Angeles,
but really Mulholland,
421
00:20:24,211 --> 00:20:26,814
if it weren't for him,
there would be no Los Angeles.
422
00:20:26,913 --> 00:20:28,315
Cheers.
423
00:20:28,415 --> 00:20:33,119
L.A. is a [bleep]-ing
nonsense of nonsenses.
424
00:20:33,219 --> 00:20:36,189
And it's the water.
425
00:20:38,092 --> 00:20:42,290
I am so [bleep]-ed up.
[laughs]
426
00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:45,276
[music]
427
00:20:58,469 --> 00:21:02,116
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
428
00:21:06,621 --> 00:21:08,656
Oh, yeah!
# I love L.A. #
429
00:21:08,756 --> 00:21:12,560
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah... oh, no!
430
00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:15,062
Oh, yeah!
[laughter]
431
00:21:15,162 --> 00:21:18,231
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!
432
00:21:17,662 --> 00:21:19,931
I got high drinking the L.A. River.
433
00:21:19,981 --> 00:21:24,531
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34743
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.