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1
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,560
Laura?
2
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:13,600
I'll show you to your desk.
3
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,640
MUSIC: Beg For It by Iggy Azalea
4
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,080
# Pulled up looking picture perfect,
baby
5
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,760
# High price but I'm worth it, baby
6
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,880
# Can't play with ya,
I've been busy working, baby
7
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,480
# Getting faded in the European
swerving, ay
8
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,560
# Look, describe Iggy
ground-breaking what the word is
9
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:37,240
Hit the stage,
ass shaking like I'm nervous...
10
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:41,280
Well, you know what to do. Yeah.
11
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,000
Make you beg for it,
I'mma make you beg for it...
12
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,600
Gary, it's me. You're dumped.
13
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:57,280
# I'm so excited
14
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:03,240
Someday, someday, Leeds United.
15
00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:08,320
HE SNIFFS AND GROANS
16
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:17,080
So, you're not gay? No.
17
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:25,160
Are you waiting for something
to clear up? No!
18
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,280
It's OK if you've got a micro-penis,
I can work around it.
19
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,320
My penis is fine, Meg.
20
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:35,360
I just didn't think last night
felt like the right time, OK?
21
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:40,880
Are you in a cult? Like I said,
several times, I just want to wait.
22
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,920
That was 12 hours ago, so,
does that constitute enough wait?
23
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,760
HE LAUGHS
24
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:51,800
That suits you, by the way.
25
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:56,360
I should give you this back. Meg...
26
00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:01,280
I really like you, Meg.
I really like you too, Andrew.
27
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:05,320
And it's not that I don't find you
extremely sexy, I just...
28
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:09,400
I want our first time
to be special.
29
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,240
Yeah, me too.
30
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,240
I'm not in any rush.
31
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:18,280
I'll make us some breakfast, then.
Eggs royale OK?
32
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,920
SHE ROARS
33
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,040
POUNDING ON THE DOOR
34
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,080
Who goes there? It's Scott,
I heard screaming, is everything OK?
35
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:52,240
Scotty, hi. Oh, my God. Seriously
frightening emergency situaish.
36
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,400
What happened? I was having my
morning nap... Morning...? OK.
37
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:59,440
And then I felt a hand.
And then I saw her.
38
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,880
It was the ghost of Granny Primrose.
39
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,600
OK, so everything is fine. No!
40
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,680
What if I'm cursed?
Like in The Ring.
41
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,600
OK, well, that's not going to
happen, so... How do you know?
42
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:13,360
Because curses aren't real
and, I don't know,
43
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,920
maybe it was a good thing. Yes!
Well, it's a sign.
44
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,160
I mean, I always knew
I was special and gifted.
45
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,800
But now you're telling me
I'm psychic.
46
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,560
I didn't say you were psychic...
I guess I always knew.
47
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,880
But I didn't KNOW know, you know?
Better get to work.
48
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:29,760
When you have a gift, Scott,
it is your duty to share it. May I?
49
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,320
Oh, Scotty.
50
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,920
This is very interesting.
Yeah. Yeah.
51
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,480
Patrick, Nathan.
52
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,760
I'll try and remember
everyone's names.
53
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,520
We're decorating a bit
for Halloween.
54
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,200
Didn't want you to be left out,
so... Cheers.
55
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,480
Thought my first day would be
scary enough, but... Rrraghh!
56
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,080
ALL LAUGH
57
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:53,120
You doing anything for it?
Halloween? Big-time.
58
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:57,480
I always go to my mate's house
party. It's legendary. And sexy.
59
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,720
Gets pretty out of control.
60
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:04,760
It's wild, like me. You should come.
61
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,880
All of you.
62
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,640
So now we have to have
a Halloween party?
63
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,040
We'll just put some Quavers
in a bowl, WKD in a cauldron,
64
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,840
get some of those glow-in-the-dark
skellies from the party shop,
65
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,640
hammer them into the wall.
Bosh, it's party time.
66
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:29,040
I think that might have a pretty adverse
effect on our tenancy agreement.
67
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:32,240
OK, guys, I am really
interested in this, but me now.
68
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:34,760
You won't believe this,
but I'm psychic.
69
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,320
Yeah, you're right,
I don't believe it. Meg!
70
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,160
I saw the ghost of Granny Primrose.
71
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,200
Yeah, Granny Primrose
is still alive. Is she?
72
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,360
Yes, she's alive,
73
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,120
she just lives in a nursing home
and you never go and see her.
74
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,360
Well, in my dream
she was definitely dead,
75
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:52,400
so maybe that means that she's
going to die and I've predicted it.
76
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,480
Well, she is 83. The point is,
Meg, I have a psychic gift.
77
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,840
Scott said so.
He was really impressed.
78
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:03,640
Scott? Not jealous, are we, Meg?
You've got Andrew now.
79
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,240
Yeah, I know. Don't get me wrong,
Andrew ticks all the boxes.
80
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,200
Fit, clever,
texts me back on the same day.
81
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,040
Has he ticked your box, though, Meg?
Still no.
82
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,520
OM-Jesus, Meg.
83
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:18,560
Isn't that, like, date four? Five.
I think he's being a gentleman.
84
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,120
Oof! What a turn-off.
85
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,600
And I'm trying to be cool
about it, but... OK, real talk.
86
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,320
(I'm on a new pill...)
87
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,800
Why are you whispering?
It's just us.
88
00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:31,840
I'm on a new pill and it's making me
very...charged. Sexually.
89
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,080
Soggy box?
90
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,480
Yeah, I had to rub one out
in his en-suite.
91
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,200
Ugh! Now I've got that image.
92
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,800
Right,
it's time to bring out the big guns.
93
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:44,640
If he's playing hard to get,
you play it harder.
94
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,680
Be demure, mysterious, coy.
95
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,760
I can do that.
96
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,160
Ugh!
97
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,960
I'm fine! I'm fine!
98
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,800
Sorry!
99
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,720
SLURRING: Welcome to my house.
100
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,240
Would you like to come in
for a nightcap?
101
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,560
Nightcap's code for sex.
102
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,880
Right.
103
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,360
Shh!
104
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,600
Oh, hey, party people!
105
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,640
Hello. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
106
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,040
Hi! I'm Andrew. Bunny, hi.
107
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,120
I'm starving,
is there anything to eat?
108
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,240
Did someone have a few drinks?
Someone did, yes.
109
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,360
Do you want a cheese stick, Andrew?
110
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,800
No, thanks. I'm sober.
111
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,160
Oh, I do. Uhh!
112
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,720
SCREAMING ON TV
What film is this?
113
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:38,720
Dracteria Bloodcastle. It's amazing.
God, I hate these films.
114
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,400
Pure patriarchal fantasy.
115
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,000
If you ask me, fetishising violence
against women, now,
116
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,520
that is the scariest thing about
Halloween, know what I mean?
117
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:49,560
What have you had for dinner,
a dictionary? Andrew's a feminist.
118
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,920
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
119
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,800
Shall I show you le boudoir,
Andrew?
120
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:02,840
Are you going to be OK
up the ladder, Meg? The ladder?
121
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,160
Have you seriously got
a five-star Uber rating?
122
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,240
Probably not any more, no. Come on.
123
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:14,280
This way, please, boy.
124
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,880
Look, I know you want to wait
but I think we should just shag now
125
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,520
and get it over with.
You're very drunk.
126
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,000
I'm not that drunk.
127
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,720
So you don't have to worry, it
wouldn't be rape cos I'm up for it.
128
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,280
I'm saying yes, please,
have sex with me.
129
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,000
Feel down here if you don't believe
me, I've got a well soggy box.
130
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:37,040
OK, yeah, wow. Yeah. Thank you.
131
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:41,120
I better go, I've got work
in the morning. So do I, big deal.
132
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,080
Come here.
133
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:48,120
MUSIC: I Only Have Eyes For You
by The Flamingos
134
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:58,400
Lie down.
135
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:15,000
Oh, what, are you tucking me in?!
Sweet dreams.
136
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:21,760
Oh, don't go. Please!
137
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,280
SHE SIGHS
138
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:29,320
It's unlimited broadband, for
18 months, that's the fibre-optic.
139
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,200
Laura Wiley, sign here, please.
140
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,960
Sorry,
do you mind holding for one moment?
141
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,880
Gaz, what the fuck are you
doing here, you wank?
142
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:41,120
I needed to see you. You can't just
leave without any explanation.
143
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:45,040
I've told you, I'm focusing on my
career. Everything OK? Who are you?
144
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:46,480
I'm her boyfriend.
145
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,240
Well, I guess we'll be seeing you
at this epic Halloween party, then.
146
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,920
What epic Halloween party?
You're not invited.
147
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,840
I know what's happening here, Laura.
All these men are gorgeous.
148
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,440
All right, gay!
149
00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,000
Please, Laura! Gaz, get out.
150
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,360
Before I have you thrown out.
151
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,800
Security! He's not a real courier!
152
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:05,880
He's not my boyfriend.
153
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,760
He's more like a stalker
that I barely know.
154
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,040
So, you coming to the party, then?
155
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:14,360
Yeah, I might come by later. Might?
156
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,280
What, what time might you come?
157
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,960
I'll text you. Back to work, you.
158
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,480
Let's sell the shit out of
this broadband.
159
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:27,520
(Fucking might!)
160
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,360
Oh. Hi, Scott. Hi.
161
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:36,400
I just want to say thank you so much
for enlightening me about my gift.
162
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,880
Sorry? My psychic abilities.
163
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,960
I'd love to repay the favour
if you'll let me.
164
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,520
We're having a get-together.
165
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,200
On Friday night, yeah,
Laura told me.
166
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,160
Something about
a slutty Halloween party?
167
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,760
Oh, Laura, how uncouth.
No, no, no, no, no.
168
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,480
You see, for me, as a psychic,
169
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:56,520
Halloween is really more about
exploring the veil between
170
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,240
the living and the dead
when it's at its thinnest.
171
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:03,280
So do I need to wear a costume?
Yes, please. OK.
172
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,720
Well, we both look sensaish.
173
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,760
You should seriously
wear that outfit more often.
174
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,800
Guys, are you ready to be afraid?
175
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,240
What even are you? I'm the scariest
thing of all, the patriarchy.
176
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:28,480
Props - briefcase,
full of porn, sexist.
177
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:32,560
And binoculars,
with which to objectify women.
178
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,040
Oooh! Boobies!
179
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,400
It's so political, Andrew is going
to love it. This ain't happening.
180
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,880
What? It's a joke.
181
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,760
Meg, men hate it when girls
make jokes, everyone knows that.
182
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:48,360
Just to be clear,
you two still haven't fucked? No.
183
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:53,500
Right, you're getting changed.
Oh, come on! It's mega-LOLs.
184
00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:57,740
You sure about this? Much better.
Now you look like her.
185
00:10:57,780 --> 00:11:00,740
Yeah. It's
definitely really political.
186
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:04,060
I can't take any more rejection from
Andrew. It's make or break tonight.
187
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:07,540
If you're really desperate you can
always do the Come Bluff. Good call!
188
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:09,620
Wait, the what? What is it?
189
00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,220
The Come Bluff.
190
00:11:11,260 --> 00:11:15,260
It's a technique I normally save for
the truly unattainable Grade A hottie.
191
00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:19,500
Wh-What is it? You just tell them
you haven't come from sex before.
192
00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:20,940
They can't resist the challenge.
193
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,260
Wow!
194
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:23,700
God, I hate this bit before a party
195
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,580
and you feel like no-one
is going to turn up.
196
00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:28,220
You have invited people,
haven't you?
197
00:11:28,260 --> 00:11:30,020
Who have YOU invited?
198
00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:32,860
Just spirits, but obviously only I
can communicate with them.
199
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,340
Soz, guys.
200
00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:38,220
Yeah, yeah, they're here.
Oh, and Scott, bless him.
201
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:40,260
I think he might be in
love with me.
202
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,500
We shared my spiritual awakening.
You mean he wants to fuck you.
203
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:46,620
Tonight is about channelling my
gift, sex doesn't come into it.
204
00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:48,380
I mean, your tits are right out.
205
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:52,420
The call centre hottie said they
might not come till later. Might?!
206
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:53,820
KNOCK ON DOOR
207
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:56,180
Right, get the music on.
208
00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:58,780
Remember, slutty party, guys.
209
00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:00,820
MUSIC STARTS
210
00:12:00,860 --> 00:12:03,980
It's someone dressed as Santa.
Oh, and Andrew!
211
00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:07,700
OK, make it look like we having fun.
Let's dance.
212
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:09,380
Dance!
213
00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:11,740
Sluttier!
214
00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:13,100
Slutty fun!
215
00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:17,140
Ready?
216
00:12:17,580 --> 00:12:21,580
Andrew! Do come in!
217
00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:26,660
Oh! Hey. You came.
That's, that's...that's cool.
218
00:12:27,340 --> 00:12:28,340
Sorry, I didn't see you.
219
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:32,340
I was just busy dancing and having
a great time.
220
00:12:32,380 --> 00:12:35,180
Is that Nathan? Who's Nathan?!
221
00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:38,100
Gary, out, now! You look...nice.
222
00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:41,260
What are you supposed to be?
I'm a porn person.
223
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:45,300
It's... It's political. How?
224
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:47,180
Empowering.
225
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:49,700
Look, I know it's over and
you've moved on.
226
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:53,380
You've been wasting your time with
a loser like me for too long now.
227
00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:57,420
Correct. Let me come to your party.
I'll be no trouble.
228
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:58,820
All right, you can stay,
229
00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:01,380
because I need to get my numbers up
in case my fit workmates come.
230
00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:03,860
And if they do come,
you can leave. Deal?
231
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:06,180
Deal.
KNOCK ON DOOR
232
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:10,220
It's Scott! And someone else.
I can't see who. Let's dance.
233
00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:14,460
Dance! He's made a real effort for
me, bless him!
234
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:18,900
Scott, hi! Oh.
235
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:22,940
Who are you? This is Lizzie,
my... girlfriend?
236
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:28,500
Hi.
237
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:31,860
Hi.
238
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:34,900
You know I love you like
a woman but I...
239
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:38,940
Happy Halloween!
ALL: Happy Halloween!
240
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,580
ALL: Eurgh!
241
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:44,940
What's in that?!
242
00:13:44,980 --> 00:13:47,980
My special recipe - beer,
absinthe, whisky,
243
00:13:48,020 --> 00:13:49,540
rum, wine...
244
00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:52,580
orange squash, milk...
245
00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:56,620
So, Lizzie... Has Scott told you
I'm psychic? Psychic? Well! Yes.
246
00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:59,940
It is impressive, isn't it?
247
00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:03,980
Oh! The spirits!
Oh, they're getting restless!
248
00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:08,980
It's time for the s?ance to
commence. Fucking hell.
249
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:11,220
Guys, as it's Halloween,
250
00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:14,820
the veil between the living and the
dead is at its thinnest,
251
00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:18,500
so I'm going to use my gift to
contact spirits or souls
252
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:21,580
using a method called souling.
Souling?
253
00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:25,180
Is that short for ARSE-holing?
I love you. Shut up.
254
00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:28,500
OK, I'm channelling the other side
now. Does anybody have
255
00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,020
anything they'd like to ask?
256
00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:32,220
Yep.
What time is Nathan getting here?
257
00:14:32,260 --> 00:14:33,940
I'm not going to bother the
spirits with that.
258
00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:37,060
Do you have a proper question? Yep.
How long are we doing this bollocks?
259
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:39,980
I don't think it's bollocks.
Thank you, Lizzie.
260
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:44,020
And I will start with you.
Could you cross my palm with silver?
261
00:14:45,020 --> 00:14:49,020
Oh...
262
00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:56,940
Hm, this is interesting.
This is about your relationship.
263
00:14:57,020 --> 00:15:00,100
You're in a new relationship,
am I right? Yes!
264
00:15:00,140 --> 00:15:04,140
I sensed that.
You didn't really sense it, though.
265
00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:09,940
I mean...
266
00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:10,980
Oh...
267
00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:14,380
Oh, no, is it bad? Yep.
This does denote death.
268
00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:15,620
Oh, my God!
269
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:19,460
You might not die, it just means the
relationship itself is doomed.
270
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,780
Bloody hell, Bunny! Oh, no!
271
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,780
It's not real!
272
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:27,820
Shall we play a game? ALL: Yes!
No, no, wait! Oh!
273
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:30,820
OK... I'm getting something...
274
00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:33,380
I'm getting a spirit of...
It's a man.
275
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:37,300
Does that mean anything to anybody?
No. He's northern.
276
00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:40,980
Ask him if his name is Nigel. Of
course it's not fucking Nigel, Gary!
277
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:45,020
It might be! It is Nigel!
Uncle Nige! Yeah, he's saying...
278
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:50,460
GRUFF NORTHERN ACCENT:
Sorry I had to go. Yeah?
279
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:54,700
He only died a few weeks ago.
Is he OK? No, Gary, he's dead.
280
00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:57,820
You were quite close,
weren't you? Yeah.
281
00:15:57,860 --> 00:16:00,100
After me dad left, my mum were left
on her own with me and my
282
00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:02,900
brother, so Uncle Nige were the
closest thing I had to a real...
283
00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:04,300
..thing you had to a real dad.
284
00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:05,660
GARY SOBS
285
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:08,980
Fuck's sake! Sorry... Nothing to
be embarrassed about, mate.
286
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:12,340
He's saying... Hi, Gary.
287
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:14,420
Hi, Nige.
288
00:16:14,460 --> 00:16:18,460
He is wearing trousers! Yeah!
He always wore trousers!
289
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:21,940
And he has...he has a wallet.
Nige...
290
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:25,980
And...a pen and paper! That makes
sense! He always wrote stuff down!
291
00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:29,380
What else?
Ask him if he's met Prince.
292
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:31,380
Urrghhh!
293
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:34,420
Eurgh...
294
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:35,980
He's gone now.
295
00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:38,460
But it just goes to show that the
souls of the dead,
296
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:40,100
they never leave us.
297
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:41,500
That's ?5, Gary.
298
00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:44,580
Right, drinking game.
ALL: Yes!
299
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:47,140
I'm not done yet.
You're being a buzz kill!
300
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,660
This isn't a slutty party!
301
00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:51,100
Let's play I've Never.
Everyone knows the rules?
302
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:54,180
If you have done it, you drink.
If you haven't done it, you don't.
303
00:16:54,220 --> 00:16:57,540
I've never witnessed such disrespect
for the dead! That's not the game.
304
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:59,740
I've never been so heartbroken
in all me life.
305
00:16:59,780 --> 00:17:03,780
No. I've never been so in love.
Again, it's not the game.
306
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:08,740
I've never come from having sex.
307
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,380
Really?!
308
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:16,420
Are you sure?
Mm-hm.
309
00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:21,140
So did you just fake it,
then, or what?
310
00:17:22,820 --> 00:17:26,700
No. But... Never come from having
sex, Scott, so let's just drop it.
311
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:30,500
That can't possibly be true.
All right, Scott, just leave it.
312
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:31,940
Why do you care so much, anyway?
313
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:33,460
I'm just curious.
314
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,660
Shall we play a different game?
ALL: Yeah!
315
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:40,700
Have you two had sex? Yeah, we
have, but it was no big deal.
316
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,380
I was talking about Scott and Meg.
317
00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:47,420
Oh, sorry. Yeah, they have, yeah.
What the fuck?!
318
00:17:48,380 --> 00:17:51,100
Right, I see. Please don't leave.
Just going to the toilet.
319
00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:52,780
All right, fine.
Just let me explain...
320
00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:55,500
Why would you take me to a party
where you'd slept with two people?
321
00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:58,700
Anyone else in the building you've
slept with? Lizzie, don't leave!
322
00:17:58,740 --> 00:18:01,780
Lizzie!
323
00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:05,180
Thanks a lot, guys. Great party.
324
00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:08,860
Oh, boy! Somebody wasn't ready to
hear the truth. I'll go over now.
325
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,460
Scott will need me.
326
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:14,180
Bunny, just leave it! You've
already caused a massive fight.
327
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:17,580
I think you've done enough.
Oh, you can never do enough, Meg.
328
00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:21,620
Not when you have...the gift.
329
00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:26,780
And she just shattered all hopes of
me ever sleeping with Andrew.
330
00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:30,820
It's a bust all round. Party's
over. Nathan is not coming, is he?
331
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,500
Who is Nathan?!
The guy I want to fuck, Gaz.
332
00:18:33,540 --> 00:18:34,860
GARY SOBS QUIETLY
333
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,220
Bollocks. I look well hot, an' all!
334
00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:38,580
What a waste!
335
00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:42,620
KNOCK ON DOOR
Scott, is everything all right?
336
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,180
I just want to say I'm sorry.
337
00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:48,740
I'm sorry that my psychic
abilities caused your rift.
338
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:51,100
Not only between this
world and the next,
339
00:18:51,140 --> 00:18:53,580
but also in your most sacred
relationship.
340
00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:56,700
You're not psychic, Bunny,
you're psychotic.
341
00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:58,740
Then how do you explain
me predicting the end of your
342
00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:00,620
relationship with Lizzie?
343
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:04,660
Bunny! What?! Thank you so much for
just laying it all out in the open.
344
00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:09,340
Me and Scott talked about it and...
he explained to you meant nothing.
345
00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:13,060
Nothing at all. That it was just
meaningless. Clinical, if anything.
346
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,700
Worked the whole thing out.
347
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:19,740
Good. Thank God for your psychic
abilities, we're stronger than ever.
348
00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:27,380
PASSIONATE MOANING
349
00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:29,340
DOOR SLAMS
350
00:19:29,380 --> 00:19:33,380
Yup.
351
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:40,060
Best be off then.
352
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:43,300
One more drink?
353
00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:44,500
Before you go...
354
00:19:44,540 --> 00:19:48,540
OK.
355
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,340
FIZZING
356
00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:58,380
To mates! Mates!
357
00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:04,140
Outfit suits you, by the way.
So does yours.
358
00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:08,020
I quite like you with a beard.
359
00:20:08,060 --> 00:20:12,060
Do you want to come and sit on
Santa's knee? Just as mates, like.
360
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:18,140
All right.
361
00:20:23,340 --> 00:20:27,340
Can mates still kiss?
362
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:32,260
He was a fling,
he was just a shag. Just a...
363
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:34,820
meaningless notch on the bedpost.
364
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:38,860
He seemed like a nice guy.
Lovely bloke. But, er...
365
00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:43,020
just a fling, really...
366
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:45,540
This is exactly what I'm
worried about.
367
00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:49,180
I want more with you, than
just...sex.
368
00:20:49,220 --> 00:20:50,940
Definitely! Yeah.
369
00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:54,380
I've been in this situation before
and I don't want to get hurt.
370
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:58,420
I trust you. That's why I've waited.
371
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:02,700
I just think it's so important that
we're honest with each other.
372
00:21:02,740 --> 00:21:05,020
Yeah, I completely agree.
373
00:21:05,060 --> 00:21:09,060
We should absolutely be honest
with each other.
374
00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:14,140
So is it true that you've never
come from sex before?
375
00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:18,700
Yeah. Well, um...
Maybe we should rectify that.
376
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:24,620
# I do what I love
and I love what I do
377
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:28,660
Stop me, stop me
I'm stopping you.
378
00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:31,940
Are you sure this is OK?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine.
379
00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:33,500
Just put it straight in.
380
00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:35,580
Ohhh!
381
00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:38,820
Oh, thank God! Oh! Ohhh!
382
00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:40,500
OHHH!
383
00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:43,860
Aaahhhh...
384
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:46,300
Wow!
385
00:21:46,340 --> 00:21:50,340
Um...
Aaahhh...
386
00:21:51,740 --> 00:21:55,300
Actually, can we stop? It's just...
387
00:21:55,340 --> 00:21:59,340
I'm not really feeling it
now that I've...
388
00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:03,620
Yep. Sure? Yeah, cheers.
389
00:22:04,180 --> 00:22:06,660
PASSIONATE MOANING
Jesus!
390
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:09,700
Close the deal, Gary!
I'm closing it!
391
00:22:09,740 --> 00:22:12,660
Hello, can we...?
392
00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:14,300
Hi.
393
00:22:14,340 --> 00:22:16,180
Everything...all right?
394
00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:17,540
Yeah...
395
00:22:17,580 --> 00:22:20,260
You've met Gary?
396
00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:22,740
All right, mate?
STRANGULATED: All right.
397
00:22:22,780 --> 00:22:26,500
Guys, can you keep it down...?
398
00:22:26,540 --> 00:22:28,220
What's all the commosh?
399
00:22:28,260 --> 00:22:30,060
GARY GASPS AND WHIMPERS
400
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:34,100
Ohhh-ohhh-ohhh!
401
00:22:34,780 --> 00:22:38,700
Has he just...? No. Yeah.
402
00:22:38,740 --> 00:22:40,900
Shall we...go?
ALL: Yeah.
403
00:22:40,940 --> 00:22:43,340
We're going to go.
See you Monday, Laura.
404
00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:45,380
Shall we...? Yeah.
405
00:22:45,420 --> 00:22:49,420
Ahem...
406
00:22:51,300 --> 00:22:53,140
Oh... Thanks a lot, Santa!
407
00:22:53,180 --> 00:22:57,180
Get out! Ohhh...
And take the bins with you!
408
00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:04,380
Out!
409
00:23:07,340 --> 00:23:11,340
# I'm on my way
410
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:14,900
# I'm on my way
411
00:23:14,940 --> 00:23:17,460
# On my way to hell
412
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:21,500
# And I'll be late
413
00:23:22,020 --> 00:23:26,020
# I will be late
I've got time to kill
414
00:23:28,900 --> 00:23:32,900
And I've been drinking for
two whole days.
415
00:23:32,950 --> 00:23:37,500
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