All language subtitles for Doc Martin s03e04 The Admirer.eng

Now, oh, no,
I wouldn't do that, Doc.

You see, it says you may
have won L1 million.

SCRAPING

What are you doing?

Admiral Grey.

Solid choice, though a little
uninspired, if I may say so.

Still, Pauline said
it was what was required.

Don't suppose there's any chance
of a cuppa, is there?

No, there isn't.

Whoops.

Why is that man painting my house?

You did say the place
was looking a bit shabby.

He's a proper painter -
portraits and everything.

I've got paint on my shoe...
Oh, it's on the carpet now!

Oh, it's only a little bit.

Any amount of paint on any carpet
is bad! Clean it up!

Is that part of my job description?

Yes!

Oh! About time somebody thought
about brightening up this place.

Shame it's such a small job.
Not that much work about.

Well, actually, my kitchen
could do with a fresh coat,

if you've got time.

Sure. I'll take a look later,
if you'd like.

Oh, well, I'm Joan Norton.
Haven House Farm, up by the cliffs.

It's a date, then.

Edward.
Oh!

Ah...
(Chuckles) Sorry.

(Laughs)

DOOR OPENS

Marty! I presume this is about
a repeat prescription.

Uh, no, it's not, actually.

I've had the results
of your bone density scan.

Oooh, is this, er...is this new?

Nope.

Er, unfortunately, this confirms
that you do have osteoporosis.

Have a seat.

Now, you'll need
a higher dose of oestrogen

than you're currently
getting from the tablets,

and I'd say the best way to proceed
would be an oestrogen implant.

Right.

It's a relatively simple procedure.
I can do it here in the surgery.

The implant itself's no bigger
than a grain of rice.

It's inserted in the skin
of the abdomen.

Well, what if I don't
want an implant?

Well, then your bones will become

increasingly weak
and prone to breaks.

I really think that the implant
is your best option.

Right.

Well...let's do it now, then.

DOOR OPENS

Aunty Joan, if you have any
irritation or side effects,

then don't hesitate...

Don't fuss.

Mmm.

Is she OK?

See you later on, then, Joan.

Aunty Joan, I can print off
some leaflets that you might...

Martin, it has already
been a long day.

Dr Ellingham, what do you think?
Hmm?

I'm outside.
Right.

Panic attacks under control?
That's good doctoring, that.

This is for you.

Birthday party. We're having it
at the Wilson Hotel this Friday.

Not so much a birthday party
as a line-up.

I see them, they get to see me,
everyone knows where they stand.

I'm busy.

Say no more.

DOOR CLOSES

How often have you
had blurred vision?

Well, it's only happened the once,
in the shower,

but I noticed a tingling
in my hands the other day.

A tingling.
Both hands, or just one?

Both. It was definitely both.

I think I know what's wrong with me.
What?

I think it's the beginning
of multiple sclerosis.

Oh, don't tell me - you looked
that up on the Internet.

Well, yes, I did, actually, but...

A tingling sensation in one hand

could be taken as a symptom,
not both.

Your optic discs would be pale
if you had MS. Yours aren't.

You're certain?

I could check it
on the Internet if you'd like.

But my symptoms...
Are the onset of middle age.

Oh, my God, that's...

You have no idea
how scared I've been.

I mean, I've only just got my life
back after Steven left,

and then, well, this happened.

But if you're certain everything's
OK, then, well, thank you, doctor.

Yes, now, if you don't mind, I have
patients who might actually be ill.

Right.

Oooh, Princess Tinkle.

Hello. Hey, baby.

Say hello to the doctor.

This is Princess Tinkle.
She's a show dog.

Not in my surgery, thank you.
Dogs are full of disease.

Oh. Come on, baby.

I don't suppose I could repay you
by buying you lunch, could I?

No.

Oh. Well, if you change your mind,
you know where to find me.

The Wilson Hotel. Carrie Wilson.
The Wilson Hotel.

Bye-bye.

I'd watch that one if I were you,
doc. Not as dumb as she looks.

Let's just say she got the goldmine,
husband got the shaft.

Do that at home.

Oh, I do.

Oh! Shame.

Dad?

Dad, it's me!

SIREN YELPS

It's OK, mate. I live here.

Always make an entrance
through the window, do you?

No, no, but, er... Well, I'm Al.

Sorry, who are you?

Put your hands on the car.
Hey, hang on, mate! Hang on!

I'm PC Penhale, Al,

and so far, I've got you on
trespassing and attempted break-in.

Let's not add resisting
arrest to the list.

No, no, I'm Al Large.

Bert's son. You know Bert, don't you?

Bert Large doesn't live here.
What? Yes, he does.

No, he lives on the other
side of the village.

Are you sure you're his son?

Oh! Well, I've been away, ain't I?
Travelling. Africa.

And they don't have phones in
Africa? I call my dad twice a week.

Well, I been in the jungle, OK?

So, if you'll just
tell me where my dad is,

then I can be off, moving along.

Fine. I'll give you a lift
to his restaurant.

But I'm watching you.

His restaurant?

Hmm.

CAR ENGINE STOPS

CAR DOOR SLAMS

PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ON RECORD PLAYER

KNOCKING AT DOOR

EDWARD: Hello?

Oh, it's you. Come in. (Sighs)

Right, well...

Something summery.
They do a lovely Sunrise Yellow.

It'll all end up
all smudged and dirty.

Ah. The existential approach
to decorating.

Believe me, I find discussing
colour schemes as boring as you do.

Not exactly what I went
to art school for.

You know what, Joan?

MAGAZINE DROPS

I'd like to paint you. A portrait.

The last thing this world needs
is a picture of me.

Something...neo-classical.

No.

Maybe you just don't see
yourself as you really are.

Get out!

I...I didn't mean to...

No, I know exactly what you meant.

How much do you charge? $100? $200?

It was gonna be a gift.

It's been a while since I've had
someone sit for me that...

I'm so sorry!

(Sniffs) I'm being stupid.

I think it would be best
if you left now.

Yes, because the chivalrous thing

would be to run away the moment
a lady starts crying.

Oh! I know, I know,
I'm sorry about the wait.

Your food will be here directly.
Two shakes of a lamb's tail.

Al!
Hello, Dad.

Here you are, boy! Oh!

Well, you should've called, eh?
Let me know you were coming back.

Well, I wanted to surprise you,
didn't I?

Well, you could've called any time,
you know, I mean... Oh!

Not that I was worried
about my only son

taking off halfway across the world.

I deserve that. I mean, I should've
written. I should've called.

Oh! Folly of youth, eh?

Mmm.

This really all yours, is it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Every...every last pot and pan.

And you gave up plumbing,
just like that?

Well, this is the dream now, boy.

Bert!
Yeah?

Got orders ready to go.

Oh, you remember Mick, don't you?

He was at school with you.
Bert.

Well, go on, then.

That's my son, that is.
That's my boy.

LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS
ON RECORD PLAYER

Aunty Joan?

RHYTHMIC CREAKING

Aunty Joan?

Arggh!
Martin!

I've got those pamphlets
I told you about.

Oh, God!

TYRES SQUEAL

Did I hit you?
No, no, I don't think so.

It all happened so fast.

Are you OK?
Oh, yes, yes, no, I'm fine.

Oh! I should've looked
where I was going.

I had a feeling
I might run into you again.

I didn't think it would
be literally.

Gosh, do you two know each other?

Oh, is that my shopping?
Thank you, er...

Louisa.

Of course. (Sighs)

Are you alright?

Oh, I do feel a little dizzy.

I've never been
in an accident before.

Well, luckily it wasn't an accident,

because he didn't actually hit you,
did he?

Yeah, it could be shock.
Yes, that's possible.

Or just a fright.

There's a world of difference
between getting a fright

and suffering from shock.

I almost feel a bit claustrophobic.
Really?

Uh, Louisa, give her some space.
Oh, sorry.

I mean, I'm sure I'm making
a fuss about nothing, honestly.

Plenty of people almost
get run over every day.

Maybe if it's not too much trouble,
a lift home?

Yes, of course.
Thank you.

Oh!

Go away.

I'll take that, thank you.

(Snores)

MICK: Like father, like son, eh?

He was worried about you, you know.
You could've called.

(Huffs) It's none of your business,
is it?

Well, he's been good to me.

Don't like to see him
treated like that.

Or maybe he's a little bit blind
when it comes to you.

Hey, listen, he's my dad, alright?

You just work for him,
so don't get any big ideas, yeah?

That's a fair point.

Then again, I'm not the one
sleeping on the sofa, am I?

I'll just be in my room.

Goodbye.

Um, would you help me in?
I'm not feeling too steady.

It must be the shock.

Oooh, big hands.

Your pulse is strong and your hands
aren't clammy. You're not in shock.

Oh, I see.

This must be very boring for you.

Well beneath your medical expertise.

Well, I...I don't know about that.

Well, thank you for the lift,
anyway...

..Martin.

(Kisses)

(Knocks on window)
Arggh!

It's Edward! He's having
some sort of attack!

(Pants)

You've got to put
something in his mouth!

Martin, he's going
to swallow his tongue!

Mrs Wilson, will you please
just leave me to do my job?

Oh, it's just Carrie.

(Pants)

Does he have a history of epilepsy?
Oh, I don't really know him.

He's doing some painting
and gardening for me

in return for room and board.

I think he's a vegetarian.

Can you hear me, Mr, uh...
Melville.

..Mr Melville?

Oh, it's you.

Edward, you've had a seizure!

Has anything like this
happened before?

No, no, never.

Hmm, well, your fitting's stopped,

but you'll still have to go
to hospital for an EEG.

I'll call Joan. She can take me.

No, no, taxi'll be quicker.

Martin? I've brought you some eggs.

I can feel you glowering
right across the village.

Aunty Joan.

Edward is fine.
They've sent him home.

Any inflammation or irritation
with your implant?

It's the age difference
that bothers you, isn't it?

None of my business.

Look, I'm not happy to sit in front
of the fire and watch time tick by.

Right.

My life is not over, and until it
is, I intend to make the most of it.

OK.

Oh, Marty, for heaven's sakes,
say something!

If you have a problem with my
relationship, let's talk about it.

Well, I don't believe
it's a real relationship.

Oh, and you'd know
about that, would you?

I know that sex on the kitchen table
with a man 50 years your junior

does not qualify
as a real relationship.

Yes, I'm sorry that you saw that.

Well, must be that implant playing
havoc with your hormonal balance.

Marty, this is not
a medical problem!

He makes me happy.

He makes me...makes
me feel...younger...

Oh, for God's sake,
he's young enough to be your son!

Probably got some Oedipal complex
or something,

which means he thinks
you're his mother!

I know what it means, Martin.

I just question your right
to criticise,

considering your
relationship history.

It's not about me.
Oh, isn't it?

Sometimes I think you want
everybody to be

as lonely and miserable as you are!

I'm not lonely or miserable.

I am going to continue
to see Edward.

It won't last forever,
and it certainly isn't true love,

but it's what I want,
so get used to it.

Osteoporosis and sexual intercourse
on kitchen tables don't mix!

Can I help you?

Oh, hope so.

Do you have any cimetidine?
I've got a bit of a funny tummy.

Oh, you'll have to ask Dr Ellingham

for a prescription for that,
I'm afraid.

Oh, I should've asked Martin
when I saw him yesterday,

only I was enjoying our chat
so much, I forgot.

Dr Ellingham is conscientious
about handing out prescriptions.

I can imagine. Not the sort
of man to be railroaded.

He reminds me a little
of my first boyfriend.

He was something of a rebel as well.

What do you think about this one?
I think it's very pungent.

DOG BARKS

Is there anything else I can...
Oh! No manners, either.

Good day!

Off she goes,
reeking of cheap perfume.

Well, it takes all kinds.

What was that she was saying
about her first boyfriend?

Well, I'm not much of a gossip,
but I will say this.

Our doc would be well advised
to avoid that one.

Why? What do you mean?

Even the bravest of souls can be
distracted by the harpy's song.

Yes, but we're talking about
the doc here.

All men are the same.
They can't help it.

If it's thrown down
on a plate in front of them,

they grab a knife and fork.

And you've definitely ordered me
the one with the beige suede seat?

Good. And the orange matte helmet...

Hello there.

Um, I'm afraid the doc doesn't
have any free appointments.

You'll have to come back tomorrow.
Pauline.

No, I'm sorry,
I'm not speaking to you.

Well, I thought I'd surprise you.
You have.

So, you have a good time, did you?
Suppose so. Too busy to call.

I phoned.

Once, first week,
when you were drunk.

(Sighs)

Lost a bit of weight.

Yep, yep.

So, what are you doing back
so soon, then?

Well, I just, er...

What?

Well...

..I missed you.

Oh, Al.

So, you can tell me all about it.
Er, you see any lions?

Er, no lions, no.
Elephants?

Er, no. Can I get a cup of tea?
I'm a bit...

Yeah, alright, then you can
give me my presents.

Al?
Yeah.

Fine, yeah.
Had a good time in Kampala.

Saw a lot of stuff. Came back.

Good.

Er, doc?

Yes?

You got a minute?
Erm...yes.

I, er...I think I need
some sleeping pills.

Why?

Well, I'm all turned
around from the jetlag.

I mean, I sleep all day, and then
I can't get to sleep at night.

You were in Uganda, weren't you?

That's only two or three hours
ahead of us.

Three, yeah.

Well, there wouldn't be any jetlag.

Yeah, but I'm exhausted. It's...

Did you get ill while
you were travelling?

No. No, doc, I had a great time.

Hung out on Lake Victoria,
swimming...

PHONE RINGS
..er, barbecues, volleyball.

How come you haven't got a tan?

Er, well...yeah. OK.

Maybe that's because I, um...
I didn't have that good a time.

Maybe that's because I spent
the last two months

working in a bottle factory.

I see.
14-hour shifts, doc.

Sleeping rough. Lived on Mars Bars
and Coca Cola.

My passport, my clothes, my cash -
everything was stolen.

PHONE RINGS

I had to earn money
just to get back here.

Well, that would explain
why you're tired

and your sleeping patterns
irregular.

So, you can give me
something for it?

No, no. Just give it
a couple of days, it'll all pass.

Emergency phone call for you, doc.
Excuse me.

Ellingham.

Mrs Wilson...Mrs Wilson, slow down!

(Rings bell)
Oh, in here.

I hope this is serious.
Oh, it is serious.

It's my heart - it was
pounding and fluttering

and I had shortness of breath.

Classic heart attack symptoms.
Stop talking.

Yeah, your pulse is regular.
Quite strong.

Well, it must have
calmed down a bit.

Isn't that always the way
when the doctor shows up?

No. Any other symptoms?

Not as such.

I must've panicked a little bit.

But seeing as you're here, maybe
I can fix you a cup of coffee.

No! How many cups have you had?

Er, two, three - more if you count
the espresso I had at breakfast.

Do I need to insult your intelligence
by pointing out the connection

between caffeine consumption
and your palpitations?

I have genuinely sick people who
require genuine medical attention.

A simple 'no' would've done.

This is not a social call!

Well, nobody's stopping you
from leaving.

Well, stop...talking.

(Laughs) Oh!

EDWARD: I made an appointment
to see you tomorrow.

Hospital gave me the EEG.
I hope you don't mind.

No. Goodbye.

Well, I suppose I'd better go too.

Stay with me.

I need looking after.

(Laughs) You're a grown man, Edward.

You can do without me
for a couple of hours.

Shoo! Get off!

Sorry. I must've dozed off
in front of the TV.

That's alright. I got you one in.

It'll be flat now, though.

So, what you gonna do
now you're back?

Well, I got nowhere to live.

Dad's closed the business,
so I've got no job.

So, I was thinking something
like a millionaire playboy,

bit like Bruce Wayne.

Yeah, but he was Batman as well.
Mmm.

Had to think of something.
Mmm.

So?

So, maybe everybody should stop
asking me so many bloody questions!

No need to take that
tone with me, Al Large.

Sorry. I just meant that...

I'm out. Give me L1.

Oh.

Here you go.

Excuse me for wanting
to talk to you.

I have missed you, you know.

Often found myself just thinking, "I
wonder what Al's up to right now,"

so if I'm full of questions,
it's only 'cause...

COINS CLATTER
Oh, my God, Al.

I've only gone and won.
Well, technically it's money, but...

Are you OK? You look a bit clammy.

Yeah, I'm fine, yeah.

Probably a spot of food poisoning
from that bloody Mick Mabley.

Oh.

Hello! Door was unlocked.

Well, it shouldn't be.
The surgery is closed.

Whatever illness it is
you think you have

will have to wait till the morning.

Um, I'm actually here
about your dog.

I don't have a dog.

That thing is not mine!

That isn't what I was told.

Out! Out, out, out, out!

Look, the problem is he's become
a little too friendly with my dog,

and I'm no snob, but she IS pedigree
after all, and...

Mrs Wilson, I'm not
remotely interested

in the mating habits of your dog.

Oh, I'm sorry if I'm being
a bit of a nuisance.

Well, you probably can't help it.

You really don't seem to care
what people think, do you?

You're very refreshing.

Am I?
Oh, yes.

Are you... Sorry, are you blushing?

No.

Um, are you going
to PC Penhale's party tomorrow?

No, I'm not.
Oh, that's a shame.

I was hoping we could get to know
each other a little better.

I'd hate for you to think of me

as some sort of hysterical
hypochondriac.

Right.

Well, maybe you'll change your mind.

I...I don't change my mind.

Definitely blushing, I'm afraid.

No, I'm just hot.

Oh, hello, Joe.

Sorry. PC Penhale.

Don't often see you drink in here.

Water.

Just posting myself here to check
for underage drinkers.

So, are you coming to my party
tomorrow night?

Still rounding up the RSVPs.

Yeah, I was...
I was thinking about it.

I'm not a big fan of parties.
Too many people.

Too many things can go wrong.

Still, should be fun, though.
(Penhale chuckles)

Yeah.

JOAN: Oh, I really ought
to get back to the farm.

Five more minutes.
We can have ice-cream.

(Laughs) Those chickens
won't feed themselves.

Oh, please!

Edward.

My mum used to say my name exactly
like that when she was angry.

Right, well, I won't
say it again, then.

I really don't mind.

Get out! Go on, go on,
go on, get, get! Go!

How's old Mrs Norton?

She's fine.

What are you doing here?

Mr Melville's EEG result
has arrived.

Door.

So, how are the brain activity
results? Did they find any?

Take a seat.

Your EEG was negative.

Er...
That's good.

Right.
No sign of epilepsy.

But that doesn't explain your fit.

Fits.

There was another the other day.

Who's your GP?

Don't really have one.
Sort of moved from place to place.

Are you on any medication?

No.

Any significant medical incidents
in the last five years?

(Puffs) Oh, it's hard
to remember, um...

Try.

OK, uh...

..about two years ago,
I did suffer from depression.

Minor depression.

And there was also some
erectile dysfunction.

Did you receive treatment?

No.

Do you still suffer
from the same problem?

Well, there are no problems.

No problems downstairs at all.

I meant do you still
suffer from depression?

Oh, well, my mother had
recently passed away,

and, uh, these things take time,
I suppose, but I'm better now.

Happy as Larry.

Just over two hours
till this thing kicks off.

Of course, I need to see
your fire safety certificates,

check the emergency exits.

Because?

Well, I'm expecting quite a large
turn-out this evening.

Want to avoid any
unfortunate tragedies.

Is that my last patient?
PAULINE: Yeah.

Doc, um, I'm worried about Al.
Mmm?

Since he's come back,
he's sleeping all the time.

He looks terrible, like he's coming
down with something.

Yes, that's quite possible.

The immune system's not so effective
when you're run-down.

Oh, so it's just jetlag, then.

No, it's got nothing
to do with jetlag.

I'd imagine it's the fatigue
from doing the shiftwork,

combined with the experience
of sleeping rough -

that would leave him vulnerable
to all sorts of things.

What?

Look, if he wants an examination,
tell him to come and see me.

He wasn't doing shiftwork, he was
holidaying, seeing the sights.

Doc, if there's something
you know...

None of my business.

So you do know something!

Pauline, stop being childish.

No, I'm being emotional!

Why was Al doing shiftwork?!

Ask Al!

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

(Presses button) What?!

You never told me
you were working over there.

Pauline...
And sleeping rough too.

You told me you came back
because you missed me.

Well, I did, I did miss you.

You ran out of money?
What were you spending it on?!

Oh, not now, Pauline.
(Presses button)

You...! Oh! Oh!

Oh, is the doc in?
Yep!

Al!

Al Large, you don't get
to hang up on me!

Wake up! Bert, help!

Al, please. Bert!

Yes?

Martin?

Louisa.
Are you busy?

Uh, no.

Just thought I'd pop by, say hello.

Hello.
Hello.

Uh, PC Penhale's roped me
into going to his party later.

It's probably gonna be terrible.
Ghastly.

So, I just wondered
if you were going, anyway,

or if you wanted
to meet me there, you know.

Doesn't have to be
for the whole thing.

Um...yes.

Yes?

Penhale's party at Mrs Wilson's
hotel. I'll be there.

Oh, right.

What?

Nothing. It's just I thought
you hated parties.

Uh, well, depends.

Why are you so keen
to go to this one, then?

I'm not. You just asked me to.

I did, I'm just surprised

that you're planning on going,
that's all.

So, you asked me 'cause
you expected me to say no?

No, I asked you 'cause
I hoped you'd say yes.

I did say yes.

Well, it's just usually
I have to twist your arm...

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

I'm sorry, I have absolutely no idea
what it is you want me to say.

Excuse me. Ellingham.

Pauline...

Er, put him in the recovery position.
I'll be right there. (Presses button)

Sorry, I have an emergency.
I've got to...

Go. Yes, I know.

Er, about the party...
An emergency.

Right. Sorry.

Breathe in.
(Al inhales)

And out.
(Al exhales)

In.
(Inhales)

Out.
(Exhales)

When did you regain consciousness?
In. Don't answer that. Pauline?

He woke up just after I called you.

Out.
(Exhales)

In.
(Inhales)

Out.
(Exhales)

How are you feeling now?
Er, not so good, doc.

Are you still awake at night
and asleep during the day?

Mmm. What?

Have you been taking drugs, Al?
No.

You sure?
Yeah.

What's wrong with him, doc?

Ow!

Mmm, the lymph glands
are slightly swollen.

Did you get bitten by any insects
while you were away?

Yeah. Yeah, uh, this one
itches like crazy. Oh!

Nope, don't scratch it.
Yes, that looks like tsetse fly.

Have there been any mood swings?

Have there ever!

I think it could be East African
sleeping sickness.

It's quite interesting, actually.

The fly bites through the skin

and the parasites are injected
into the bloodstream,

but once inside the body,
they continue to replicate

as they make their way to the brain,

eventually invading the whole
central nervous system.

Hmm. Pauline, will you take
a blood sample, please?

Er...you sure you know
what you're doing?

Shh. I did a course.

Got a certificate and everything.

But, doc, if he's got this thing,
will he be alright?

Yeah. It's nasty,
but he should be fine.

You'll need a course of injections
of melarsoprol,

and if that doesn't work, then
he might need to spend some time

in the Hospital for Tropical
Diseases, but I'm hopeful.

If you'll hurry up, please, Pauline.
I have to be somewhere.

(Dog yelps)
SQUELCHING

Oh.

CARRIE: Tinkle!

Princess Tinkle!

Where are you, baby?

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY

Alright, Louisa?
Alright, Joe?

MUSIC STOPS, FEEDBACK SCREECHES

Before the fun starts,

I want you all to look at the person
standing next to you.

Statistics say that one of you will
break the law in the next month.

So, be alert.
(All groan)

Later on, we have a raffle.

First prize is a guided tour
of the police station.

You haven't seen Princess Tinkle,
have you?

Sorry?
My dog. She's wandered off.

No.

I mean, she's probably out
terrorising all the local boy dogs.

Neither one of us has ever had
any trouble making friends.

I'll bet.

Excuse me, I must find my Tinkle.

JOAN: Help! Help, someone, please!

Please help! I... Oh, Martin!

Martin, I've been trying
to get hold of you!

Put some clothes on.
I think he's dead!

Look, please, please, come.
Come now, now, now.

Come on, quick, quick!

He's in here.

There!

Here, hold this.

He's alive. What happened?

Uh, well, we were...we were just...

I see.

And then he suddenly
had another fit,

but he said his EEG was fine.

It was. How long has
he been unconscious?

Oh, I don't know. About a minute.

I came downstairs to get help,
and, uh...

Has he been drinking or using drugs?

Oh, Martin, we're not teenagers.
No.

He takes pills for hay fever,
but that wouldn't do this.

Here, let me see them.
Oh, my God.

It's, uh...vardenafil.

He takes two or three whenever
I see him. Hasn't sneezed once.

This drug is used to help with
erectile dysfunction. What?!

These are 100mg -
you're only supposed to take one. Excessive use can lead to seizures!

Mr Melville, you lied about your
medication and endangered your life!

You're an idiot!
Martin!

Stick to the recommended dosage!

Or find another way
to pass the time.

Martin, just leave it.

(Dials number)

I've explained what's going on.
The crowd's under control.

If you need a police escort
or anything...

The ambulance will be here
in a few minutes.

Right. Just 'cause it's a party,
though, doesn't mean I'm off duty.

Go back inside.
Right.

Aunty Joan, I'm sorry about that
Oedipus remark. That was unkind.

No, no, I think you were
probably accurate.

Really?
CAR APPROACHES AND STOPS

Creepy.

METAL TROLLEY RATTLES

Sir, can you hear me?

Mummy, is that you?

Thank you, thank you. (Chuckles)

Oh, Martin. How's Mr Melville?

Uh, he's...he's fine.

Um, I didn't think
you'd want to stay.

Right. Have you seen Mrs Wilson?

Oh, Martin!
Mrs Wilson.

I was just thinking about you.
Now, can I get you a drink?

I need to talk to you.

Um, will you excuse us? Yes?

I killed your dog.

What?
It was an accident.

It got under the...it got
under the wheel of my car.

Uh, it died instantly, I think.

You're probably not aware that,
as the dog's owner,

it's your responsibility
to dispose of it

before it becomes a health hazard...

Oh! I think we'd probably
better get some ice on that.

Um, it's fine.

It was the other cheek.

Right.

Is that wine you're drinking?

Look, Martin, just because
somebody has got a glass of wine,

it doesn't make them an alcoholic,

so, you know, whatever symptoms
you think you can see...

No, I was gonna ask you
if I can get you another glass.

Oh. Yes, thank you.

Mmm.

(Girls chatter and laugh)

PENHALE: Settle down, settle down.

MUSIC STOPS, FEEDBACK SCREECHES

Settle down.

I have the results of the raffle.

I'm just here for a minute.

Bert's looking after Al, I just
wanna see who won the raffle.

The lucky winner
of prize number four is...

..number 52.

That's me! That's me!

(Laughs)

It was quite a slap she gave you.

Well, I did run over her dog.

Well, I suppose
some people might feel

that she's a little bit...
you know, um...

Narcissistic, hypochondriacal
and extremely annoying.

Yes.

PENHALE: Number 12!

Martin, um, a friend of mine's
in an orchestra,

and they're doing a charity concert
next week and I've got two tickets.

So...
Yes.

Yes?

If that's an invitation.

Yes, it was.

I should warn you,
they are amateurs.

Well, everyone has
to start somewhere.

(Laughs) Yeah.

(Shrieks) Ow, Martin! I'm sorry!
What are you doing?

Y149 ULD...

What? That's my car!

You're blocking the fire exit, so
I've instructed for it to be towed.

What?! Sorry, no, no,
I've got to go.

Erm...shall I... I'll see you
next week at the concert, then.

Yes, yes.
'Bye.

Closed Captions by CSI

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