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1
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:36,834
Hyacinth: YOU SHOULD HAVE TURNED LEFT.
- Richard: I DID TURN LEFT.
2
00:00:36,869 --> 00:00:39,618
I DISTINCTLY
TOLD YOU TO TURN LEFT.
3
00:00:39,653 --> 00:00:42,376
THAT'S WHY I TURNED LEFT.
I'M NO FOOL.
4
00:00:42,411 --> 00:00:45,100
IT'S EASIER TO BE LOST
THAN DISOBEDIENT.
5
00:00:45,135 --> 00:00:46,532
RICHARD.
6
00:00:46,567 --> 00:00:48,767
I HOPE THE ENTIRE WEEKEND
ISN'T GOING TO BE
7
00:00:48,802 --> 00:00:50,799
SPOILED BY YOUR
REBELLIOUS MANNER.
8
00:00:50,834 --> 00:00:54,801
REBELLIOUS? IT'S HARDLY
"MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY."
9
00:00:54,836 --> 00:00:56,801
DON'T BE SILLY,
DEAR.
10
00:00:59,801 --> 00:01:01,632
AH...
11
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:03,632
YOU SEE.
12
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:05,532
I KNEW IT WAS LEFT.
13
00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:08,934
I NEVER DOUBTED IT
FOR A MOMENT.
14
00:01:11,067 --> 00:01:13,868
IT'S SO LONG
SINCE I'VE PLAYED GOLF.
15
00:01:13,903 --> 00:01:15,432
HMM?
16
00:01:15,467 --> 00:01:18,267
I SAID IT'S SO LONG
SINCE I'VE PLAYED GOLF.
17
00:01:18,302 --> 00:01:21,067
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO LET THE MAJOR DOWN.
18
00:01:21,102 --> 00:01:23,632
IT'S VERY KIND OF THE MAJOR AND HIS WIFE
19
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,367
TO SUGGEST THAT WE JOIN
THEM FOR THE WEEKEND.
20
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:32,534
IT MEANS THAT WE'RE
SOCIALLY UPWARDLY MOBILE.
21
00:01:32,569 --> 00:01:34,868
UNTIL HE SEES
HOW I PLAY GOLF.
22
00:01:36,467 --> 00:01:38,801
HAVEN'T YOU BEEN
PRACTICING?
23
00:01:38,836 --> 00:01:41,100
I DON'T LIKE GOLF!
24
00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:45,200
THAT'S VERY SELFISH.
25
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:56,033
LOOK, THERE'S THE MAJOR'S
LITTLE TWO-SEATER.
26
00:01:56,068 --> 00:01:58,151
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING
A TRIFLE ODD
27
00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:00,443
ABOUT ELDERLY MEN
IN TWO-SEATERS?
28
00:02:00,478 --> 00:02:03,239
I WOULDN'T CALL
THE MAJOR ELDERLY.
29
00:02:03,274 --> 00:02:05,965
HE'S OUR AGE.
- THANK YOU, RICHARD.
30
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,567
I CAN SEE IT'S GOING TO BE
A MEMORABLE WEEKEND.
31
00:02:09,901 --> 00:02:11,566
ALL I MEANT WAS-
32
00:02:11,601 --> 00:02:14,033
IS WE'RE NOT GETTING
ANY YOUNGER.
33
00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:16,067
KEEP YOUR VOICE
DOWN, DEAR.
34
00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:18,032
I SHOULD PREFER IT
IF YOU-AH!
35
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:20,965
YOU WILL BE CAREFUL
WITH THE LUGGAGE.
36
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,467
IT'S A PART OF A VERY
EXPENSIVE MATCHING SET.
37
00:02:23,502 --> 00:02:25,334
YES, MADAM.
38
00:02:30,534 --> 00:02:33,517
OH, YES,
I LIKE THE AMBIENCE.
39
00:02:33,552 --> 00:02:36,466
IT'S MORE BARONIAL
THAN HOTEL.
40
00:02:36,501 --> 00:02:39,434
THE MAJOR'S WIFE AND I
WILL BE QUITE HAPPY HERE.
41
00:02:41,934 --> 00:02:43,934
Man: GOOD MORNING.
- Richard: MORNING.
42
00:02:45,601 --> 00:02:47,501
RING THE BELL.
43
00:02:55,701 --> 00:02:57,199
CAN I HELP YOU?
44
00:02:57,234 --> 00:02:59,801
MR. AND MRS.
RICHARD BOUQUET.
45
00:02:59,836 --> 00:03:02,199
WE HAVE
A RESERVATION.
46
00:03:02,234 --> 00:03:04,501
WHAT WAS THE NAME
AGAIN, PLEASE.
47
00:03:04,536 --> 00:03:05,666
BOUQUET.
48
00:03:05,701 --> 00:03:09,634
THAT'S SPELLED
B-U-C-K-E-T.
49
00:03:09,669 --> 00:03:11,801
OH, BUCKET!
50
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:15,400
OH, YES.
WE HAVE A BUCKET.
51
00:03:15,435 --> 00:03:17,632
PRONOUNCED
"BOUQUET,"DEAR.
52
00:03:17,667 --> 00:03:19,767
IF YOU WOULD JUST FILL
IN THE FORM, PLEASE.
53
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:28,434
DO BE CAREFUL
WITH THE LUGGAGE.
54
00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:31,965
DO BE CAREFUL
WITH THE LUGGAGE.
55
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,901
IT'S PART OF A VERY
EXPENSIVE MATCHING SET.
56
00:03:36,968 --> 00:03:38,667
WHAT DOES SHE THINK IT IS, ALLIGATOR?
57
00:03:38,702 --> 00:03:40,399
ALLIGATOR?
58
00:03:40,434 --> 00:03:43,033
FOR HER THAT WOULD BE
A MATCHING SET.
59
00:03:44,567 --> 00:03:47,834
KINDLY INFORM THE MAJOR
AND MRS. WILTON SMYTHE
60
00:03:47,869 --> 00:03:49,332
THAT WE HAVE ARRIVED.
61
00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:52,234
THE MAJOR AND MRS. SMYTHE?
- YES. THEY'RE FRIENDS.
62
00:03:52,269 --> 00:03:54,634
WE'RE HERE FOR A WEEKEND
BREAK TOGETHER.
63
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,432
I'M AFRAID THE MAJOR
IS HERE ALONE.
64
00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:59,601
OH?
- HE'S NOT TRAVELING WITH HIS WIFE.
65
00:03:59,636 --> 00:04:01,132
THAT'S STRANGE.
66
00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:04,300
I DO HOPE SHE'S
NOT ILL, DEAR.
67
00:04:04,335 --> 00:04:05,933
STILL,
I'M SURE IF SHE IS
68
00:04:05,968 --> 00:04:07,567
THEY'RE MEDICALLY
VERY WELL COVERED.
69
00:04:16,934 --> 00:04:18,934
THERE WE ARE, MADAM.
- THANK YOU.
70
00:04:18,969 --> 00:04:20,934
OH, YES.
IT'S QUITE NICE.
71
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,467
I'LL PUT THE LUGGAGE
OVER THERE, SIR.
72
00:04:24,502 --> 00:04:26,167
FINE, FINE.
73
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:34,300
WE ALMOST GOT LOST
AS WE NEARED THE HOTEL.
74
00:04:34,335 --> 00:04:35,951
WILL THERE BE
ANYTHING ELSE, SIR?
75
00:04:35,986 --> 00:04:37,532
NO THANKS.
- THERE'S YOUR KEY.
76
00:04:37,567 --> 00:04:40,434
THANK YOU.
- OOH, THANK YOU, SIR.
77
00:04:40,469 --> 00:04:41,801
AND-
78
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:45,734
I HOPE YOU HAVE
A PLEASANT STAY.
79
00:04:49,868 --> 00:04:51,368
POOR MAJOR.
80
00:04:51,403 --> 00:04:52,833
ALL ALONE.
81
00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:55,834
AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO WHILE WE'RE GOLFING?
82
00:04:55,869 --> 00:04:58,265
I SHALL LOUNGE
AND LUXURIATE
83
00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,767
AND READ MY DAME
BARBARA CARTLAND...
84
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:05,734
AND GET SOMEBODY UP HERE
TO WIPE THESE WINDOWS.
85
00:05:12,934 --> 00:05:15,501
AND DON'T FORGET THE KEY,
WILL YOU, DEAR? OH.
86
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:19,299
laughing )
87
00:05:19,334 --> 00:05:21,634
SNAP THAT SUSPENDER!
88
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,734
KEEP JOKING.
89
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:32,868
DOESN'T SOUND AS IF HE'S
HERE FOR THE GOLF EITHER.
90
00:05:38,868 --> 00:05:41,499
RICHARD...
91
00:05:41,534 --> 00:05:44,934
LOOK IN THE REGISTER,
SEE WHO'S IN ROOM 210.
92
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:47,532
BUT WE MUSTN'T PRY.
93
00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:50,400
HOW CAN I GIVE THEM A DISAPPROVING
LOOK IF DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE?
94
00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:52,032
GO ON.
95
00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:55,734
SUPPOSE SOMEBODY COMES, I'LL
FEEL LIKE SHULTZ THE MASTER SPY.
96
00:05:55,769 --> 00:05:57,833
YOU ARE LOOKING
FOR THE MAJOR'S ROOM.
97
00:05:57,868 --> 00:06:01,217
IF, WHILE YOU ARE LOOKING
FOR THE MAJOR'S ROOM,
98
00:06:01,252 --> 00:06:04,567
YOUR EYE HAPPENS TO NOTE
WHO IS IN ROOM 210-
99
00:06:04,602 --> 00:06:06,299
NOW LET'S SEE!
100
00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:08,265
WHAT ARE THE CULTURAL OPTIONS
101
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:11,100
FOR THE GOLFING WIDOW
THIS WEEKEND?
102
00:06:11,135 --> 00:06:12,732
IF I MIGHT SUGGEST
ONE OPTION?
103
00:06:12,767 --> 00:06:15,634
YOU COULD DO THE GOLFING
AND I'LL BE THE WIDOW.
104
00:06:15,669 --> 00:06:17,098
NOW DON'T BE SILLY, DEAR.
105
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:19,434
YOU'LL ENJOY PLAYING
WITH THE MAJOR.
106
00:06:19,469 --> 00:06:21,634
I MUST REMEMBER THAT.
107
00:06:23,234 --> 00:06:26,367
WELL,
WHO'S IN ROOM 210?
108
00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:31,000
PARDON?
- MR. AND MRS. SMITH.
109
00:06:31,035 --> 00:06:33,634
NOW DON'T RAISE
YOUR VOICE!
110
00:06:38,167 --> 00:06:40,132
OH, THIS IS BETTER.
111
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,667
THESE PEOPLE LOOK
MORE OUR SORT.
112
00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,466
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
113
00:06:44,501 --> 00:06:48,232
THEY'RE READING
FULL-SIZED NEWSPAPERS.
114
00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:53,100
I WOULD NEVER STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION
WITH ANYBODY WHO READS THE TABLOIDS.
115
00:06:53,135 --> 00:06:55,418
NOW, YOU RUN ALONG
AND FIND THE MAJOR.
116
00:06:55,453 --> 00:06:57,701
I SHALL BE PERFECTLY
ALL RIGHT HERE.
117
00:06:57,736 --> 00:06:59,234
RIGHT.
118
00:07:00,968 --> 00:07:02,968
GOOD MORNING.
- GOOD MORNING.
119
00:07:07,067 --> 00:07:08,566
GOOD MORNING.
120
00:07:08,601 --> 00:07:10,601
MORNING.
- MORNING.
121
00:08:37,834 --> 00:08:39,400
GOOD MORNING.
122
00:08:43,534 --> 00:08:45,634
LOVELY DAY.
123
00:09:08,767 --> 00:09:12,250
I THOUGHT MY HUSBAND WOULD
HAVE BEEN BACK BY NOW.
124
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,734
HE'S GONE OFF TO FETCH
HIS FRIEND, THE MAJOR.
125
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,050
THEY'RE GOLFING
TOGETHER,
126
00:09:20,085 --> 00:09:21,801
MY HUSBAND
AND THE MAJOR.
127
00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:26,868
MY HUSBAND ALLOWS HIMSELF
OCCASIONAL BREAKS
128
00:09:26,903 --> 00:09:29,098
FROM HIS ENORMOUS
RESPONSIBILITIES
129
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:31,367
WITH ONE OF THE LARGER
LOCAL AUTHORITIES.
130
00:09:33,501 --> 00:09:36,901
THOUGH HE DOES GET A GREAT
DEAL OF MENTAL SATISFACTION
131
00:09:36,936 --> 00:09:38,901
FROM THE KNOWLEDGE
THAT OUR SON, SHERIDAN,
132
00:09:38,936 --> 00:09:41,434
IS DOING SO WELL
AT UNIVERSITY.
133
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,432
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE LONG?
134
00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:47,801
SINCE YESTERDAY.
- OOH, A LONG WEEKEND.
135
00:09:47,836 --> 00:09:50,201
THAT'S NICE.
- IT WOULD'VE BEEN,
136
00:09:50,236 --> 00:09:52,567
EXCEPT FOR THE NOISES
FROM ROOM 210.
137
00:09:52,602 --> 00:09:54,801
OH MY GOODNESS, YES.
138
00:09:54,836 --> 00:09:56,965
ROOM 210.
139
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,833
WE PASSED IT JUST NOW.
140
00:09:58,868 --> 00:10:02,534
IT'S NOT WHAT ONE EXPECTS
FROM A FOUR-STAR HOTEL.
141
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,234
IF IT CONTINUES
I SHALL COMPLAIN.
142
00:10:07,269 --> 00:10:08,965
THAT WON'T BE
NECESSARY.
143
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,667
I UNDERSTAND THE COUPLE
WILL BE LEAVING THIS MORNING.
144
00:10:11,702 --> 00:10:13,799
WELL, I SHOULD HOPE SO.
145
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:16,100
NOISES LIKE THAT
CAN BE VERY DISCONCERTING
146
00:10:16,135 --> 00:10:18,067
FOR A CONSIDERATE HUSBAND
LIKE MINE.
147
00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:25,065
MR. AND MRS. SMITH INDEED.
148
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,801
ONE WONDERS WHERE
THESE PEOPLE COME FROM.
149
00:10:30,534 --> 00:10:32,232
COME ON!
150
00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:33,599
WILL YOU STOP IT?
151
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:37,167
I'VE RARELY KNOWN ANYONE
QUITE AS MISCHIEVOUS AS YOU.
152
00:10:38,901 --> 00:10:41,868
NOW THAT'S
MY SHERIDAN AT 14
153
00:10:41,903 --> 00:10:43,567
WITH HIS MUSIC DIPLOMA.
154
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:47,666
AND THIS IS THE HOUSE
WE LIVED IN THEN.
155
00:10:47,701 --> 00:10:50,767
OF COURSE WE'VE MOVED
TO A MUCH LARGER ONE NOW
156
00:10:50,802 --> 00:10:53,001
IN A VERY EXCLUSIVE AREA.
157
00:10:53,036 --> 00:10:55,165
RICHARD LOVES TO GARDEN.
158
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,033
HE LOVES TO GARDEN WHEN HE'S
NOT GOLFING WITH THE MAJOR.
159
00:10:58,068 --> 00:11:00,400
NOT THAT HE ONLY PLAYS
WITH MAJORS, OF COURSE.
160
00:11:00,435 --> 00:11:02,934
AFTER ALL, WE'RE DEMOCRATIC
TO THE CORE.
161
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,868
BUT THEN NATURALLY ONE
PREFERS ONE'S OWN KIND.
162
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,399
OH!
163
00:11:11,434 --> 00:11:15,968
HERE'S MY SHERIDAN SHRIMPING
WITH HIS DADDY IN 1979.
164
00:11:18,801 --> 00:11:20,667
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
165
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:34,132
AH, THERE YOU ARE,
BUCKET!
166
00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:36,167
ACTUALLY, MAJOR,
IT'S PRONOUNCED-
167
00:11:36,202 --> 00:11:39,065
WHAT?
- NOTHING, NOTHING.
168
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:41,234
LOOK, ABOUT THE GOLF.
- YES, THE GOLF.
169
00:11:41,269 --> 00:11:43,165
I'M AFRAID I CAN'T MAKE IT.
170
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,065
I'VE GOT THIS DAMNED
DICKEY LEG.
171
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,367
THERE'S STILL SOME
POXY FOREIGN LEAD IN IT,
172
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:50,098
PLAYS ME OFF
OCCASIONALLY.
173
00:11:50,133 --> 00:11:52,501
I HAVE TO THRASH THE
DAMNED THING, YOU KNOW.
174
00:11:52,536 --> 00:11:53,998
NOW, ABOUT THIS GOLF.
175
00:11:54,033 --> 00:11:56,750
I'VE ARRANGED FOR YOU TO HAVE
A ROUND WITH PORKY HOOTEN.
176
00:11:56,785 --> 00:11:59,467
NICE FELLOW. HE'LL BE WAITING
FOR YOU AT THE CLUBHOUSE.
177
00:11:59,502 --> 00:12:01,834
YOU'VE GOT THE NAME?
- UH, PORKY HOOTEN?
178
00:12:01,869 --> 00:12:04,167
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU'LL LIKE OLD PORKY.
179
00:12:05,834 --> 00:12:08,167
JUST KEEP AN EYE ON
HIS SCORING, THAT'S ALL.
180
00:12:08,202 --> 00:12:10,667
I'M REALLY NOT BOTHERED
ABOUT THE GOLF.
181
00:12:10,702 --> 00:12:13,098
NOT BOTHERED? DON'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD,
182
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,400
NOT AROUND HERE. YOU'LL
ENJOY IT WITH PORKY.
183
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,098
TAKE A HIP FLASK
WITH YOU.
184
00:12:17,133 --> 00:12:19,534
HE LIKES A PARTNER TO HAVE
A HIP FLASK. OFF YOU GO NOW!
185
00:12:19,569 --> 00:12:22,501
PORKY'S WAITING
- I HAVEN'T GOT A HIP FLASK.
186
00:12:22,536 --> 00:12:25,434
SHOVE A BOTTLE IN YOUR
BAG, OLD BOY. CHOP CHOP!
187
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,965
GOLF?
188
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,833
YOUR ROSE DIDN'T
TAKE ANY CLUBS.
189
00:12:45,868 --> 00:12:48,667
I DON'T THINK
SHE'D NEED ANY CLUBS.
190
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:51,632
LOOKS A BIT PRICEY.
191
00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:53,632
SHE'S NOT PAYING,
IS SHE?
192
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:57,000
DO YOU THINK WE'LL HAVE TIME FOR
A BEVY BEFORE WE TAKE HER HOME?
193
00:12:57,035 --> 00:12:59,234
I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.
194
00:12:59,269 --> 00:13:01,032
IT'S A HOTEL.
195
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:03,866
IT SAYS, "OPEN
TO NONRESIDENTS."
196
00:13:03,901 --> 00:13:07,234
JUST ONE BEVY ON ACCOUNT
THAT I'M DRIVING.
197
00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:10,768
UNLESS YOUR ROSE
IS GONNA DRIVE.
198
00:13:10,803 --> 00:13:14,232
AND THEN
I COULD HAVE A FEW.
199
00:13:14,267 --> 00:13:17,400
YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE
TO PUT ON A JACKET.
200
00:13:17,435 --> 00:13:19,199
RUBBISH.
201
00:13:19,234 --> 00:13:21,617
HAVE YOU SEEN
WHAT GOLFERS WEAR?
202
00:13:21,652 --> 00:13:24,000
IT'S ANYTHING GOES
IN GOLFING WEAR.
203
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,667
GOOD MORNING.
204
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:36,098
AH, MRS. BUCKET-
205
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:38,883
MRS. BOUQUET,
CAN I HELP YOU?
206
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,599
I WISH THE TOWELS
IN MY ROOM
207
00:13:41,634 --> 00:13:44,734
TO BE REPLACED, PLEASE.
- IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?
208
00:13:44,769 --> 00:13:47,834
YOUR TOWELS ARE RATHER
HARD AND NAUGHTY, YOU SEE.
209
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:50,367
POSSIBLY NOT FOR THOSE
OF COARSER SKIN,
210
00:13:50,402 --> 00:13:51,933
BUT IF I DRIED
MYSELF ON THEM
211
00:13:51,968 --> 00:13:55,933
I'D PROBABLY LOSE AN ENTIRE
LAYER OF MY EPIDERMIS.
212
00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:59,968
I SHOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU
COULD FIND ME SOMETHING SOFTER.
213
00:14:00,003 --> 00:14:02,685
CERTAINLY, MADAM.
- THIS IS NOT JUST A WHIM.
214
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:05,143
I HAVE AN UNBLEMISHED
REPUTATION AT HOME
215
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,567
FOR THE QUALITY
OF MY BATHROOM LINEN.
216
00:14:07,602 --> 00:14:09,232
I'M SURE YOU HAVE,
MADAM.
217
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:12,265
IT IS ONE OF THE ATTRACTIONS
OF MY CANDLELIGHT SUPPERS
218
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:17,167
THAT OUR GUESTS ARE ABLE TO PEEK
AT THE QUALITY OF MY BATHROOM LINEN.
219
00:14:17,202 --> 00:14:19,133
I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN
DO FOR YOU, MRS.-
220
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:21,234
GOOD.
221
00:14:22,868 --> 00:14:24,833
AND IF AT THE SAME TIME,
222
00:14:24,868 --> 00:14:27,701
YOU COULD GET SOMEBODY UP THERE
TO WIPE THE WINDOW IN MY ROOM?
223
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:30,234
IT LOOKS AS THOUGH SOMETHING'S
BEEN SQUASHED ON IT.
224
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,732
WE'LL SEE TO THAT,
MRS. BOUQUET.
225
00:14:32,767 --> 00:14:36,234
THANK YOU, DEAR. I DO
LIKE THINGS TO BE JUST SO.
226
00:14:36,269 --> 00:14:38,868
IT'S NOT THAT
I'M FUSSY, OF COURSE.
227
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,833
FIND A BLOKE
228
00:14:42,868 --> 00:14:45,401
HER TO PLACES LIKE THIS?
229
00:14:45,436 --> 00:14:47,899
IF I HADN'T STAYED
FAITHFUL
230
00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:50,667
MAYBE I COULD HAVE FOUND
A BLOKE WHO COULD AFFORD
231
00:14:50,702 --> 00:14:52,934
TO BRING ME
TO PLACES LIKE THIS.
232
00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:58,432
NO.
233
00:14:58,467 --> 00:15:01,799
I BET IT NEEDS MORE
THAN JUST BEING UNFAITHFUL.
234
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:05,968
IT'S THE KIND OF PLACE THAT MAKES YOU
THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD A SHAVE.
235
00:15:07,701 --> 00:15:09,332
I THINK YOU SHOULD.
236
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,199
I THINK YOU SHOULD
HAVE HAD A SHAVE.
237
00:15:11,234 --> 00:15:13,701
ON THE OTHER HAND,
THE THING IS TO ACT NATURAL.
238
00:15:13,736 --> 00:15:16,532
BE YOURSELF,
ALWAYS BE YOURSELF.
239
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:19,965
IF PEOPLE CAN'T PENETRATE
UNIMPORTANT SURFACE ISSUES
240
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,834
THEY'RE NEVER GONNA APPRECIATE
YOUR FUNDAMENTAL QUALITIES ANYWAY.
241
00:15:23,869 --> 00:15:25,868
WHAT FUNDAMENTAL QUALITIES?
242
00:15:27,234 --> 00:15:28,766
I'M CALM IN A CRISIS.
243
00:15:28,801 --> 00:15:32,732
THAT'S A FUNDAMENTAL
QUALITY.
244
00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:36,100
ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BONE
IDLE TO RUSH ABOUT IN A PANIC.
245
00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:43,400
WELL, ARE WE GOING IN,
OR NOT?!
246
00:15:43,435 --> 00:15:45,501
I WANNA FINISH
MY CIGGY.
247
00:15:49,868 --> 00:15:52,484
OH, I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO ASK YOU.
248
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,100
IS YOUR SKIN
OF A SENSITIVE NATURE?
249
00:15:55,135 --> 00:15:57,566
ARE YOU SATISFIED
250
00:15:57,601 --> 00:15:59,734
WITH THE QUALITY
OF THE BATHROOM LINEN HERE?
251
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:04,199
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO ORGANIZE
SOFTER TOWELS FOR YOU?
252
00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:08,133
ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST GOING
FOR A WALK AROUND THE GARDEN.
253
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,799
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
THE GARDEN.
254
00:16:10,834 --> 00:16:13,133
WE OFTEN HAVE A LOOK
AROUND THE GROUNDS.
255
00:16:13,168 --> 00:16:15,332
SO, PERHAPS
WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.
256
00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:18,534
WHAT A SHAME, JUST AS WE WERE
BEGINNING TO ENJOY OURSELVES.
257
00:16:18,569 --> 00:16:20,165
WAIT A MINUTE.
258
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,834
WHY DON'T I COME
WITH YOU?
259
00:16:21,869 --> 00:16:24,599
NO.
260
00:16:24,634 --> 00:16:27,799
THERE'S NO NEED
TO INTERRUPT YOUR PLANS.
261
00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:30,801
BUT I SHOULD LOVE TO STROLL
AROUND THE GROUNDS WITH YOU.
262
00:16:30,836 --> 00:16:33,265
REALLY?
- OH YES.
263
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:37,367
TO ME, HORTICULTURE AT
ITS HIGHEST IS LIKE MUSIC,
264
00:16:37,402 --> 00:16:39,367
EXCEPT FOR THE MANURE
OF COURSE.
265
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,634
THE GROUNDS LOOKED LOVELY
FROM OUR BEDROOM WINDOW.
266
00:16:48,669 --> 00:16:51,033
YOU MUST SHOW ME ALL
THE POINTS OF INTEREST.
267
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:55,532
ALL OF THEM?
WOULDN'T JUST A FEW-
268
00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:58,667
I WOULDN'T DREAM OF MISSING A SINGLE ONE.
269
00:17:00,601 --> 00:17:02,998
YOU MIGHT FIND IT
RATHER TIRING.
270
00:17:03,033 --> 00:17:06,801
OH, IN THE APPRECIATION OF
NATURE YOU'LL FIND ME TIRELESS.
271
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,799
IT'S A WELL-KNOWN FACT,
OF COURSE,
272
00:17:10,834 --> 00:17:14,300
THAT THE LOVE OF A GARDEN IS
INDICATIVE OF ONE'S SOCIAL STANDING,
273
00:17:14,335 --> 00:17:15,968
AS I AM SURE YOU'LL AGREE.
274
00:17:22,968 --> 00:17:25,534
I ALWAYS MAKE NOTES
OF COURSE.
275
00:17:26,968 --> 00:17:29,300
I'LL MAKE SOME FOR YOU,
IF YOU LIKE?
276
00:17:57,834 --> 00:18:00,501
CHANGE THE TOWELS NOW, WHILE
THERE'S NO ONE IN THE ROOM.
277
00:18:00,536 --> 00:18:02,834
BEFORE SHE FIND SOMETHING ELSE
TO SQUAWK ABOUT.
278
00:18:02,869 --> 00:18:04,667
OH, YOU'VE NOT SEE HER YET?
279
00:18:04,702 --> 00:18:06,601
LUCKY YOU.
280
00:18:07,968 --> 00:18:10,334
OH, MRS. BOUQUET,
I'VE JUST ASKED...
281
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,300
ROSE!
- HYACINTH!
282
00:18:28,701 --> 00:18:32,666
ROSE!
WE MUST SPEAK, ROSE!
283
00:18:32,701 --> 00:18:36,334
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- AH, THE DELECTABLE MRS. BUCKET!
284
00:18:36,369 --> 00:18:37,434
NOTHING!
285
00:18:38,801 --> 00:18:40,701
OH, MAJOR.
HOW NICE TO SEE YOU.
286
00:18:40,736 --> 00:18:42,466
I SAY,
287
00:18:42,501 --> 00:18:44,901
LIVELY COUPLE IN THERE,
JUDGING BY THE NOISES-OFF.
288
00:18:44,936 --> 00:18:46,834
DO YOU KNOW THESE PEOPLE?
- HARDLY.
289
00:18:46,869 --> 00:18:48,132
THOUGHT NOT.
- EXCUSE ME.
290
00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:50,934
MIND YOURSELF, OLD CHAP.
YOU'LL TRIP SOMEBODY UP.
291
00:18:50,969 --> 00:18:52,998
GET IN!
292
00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:54,998
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOLFING, MAJOR.
293
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:58,033
A SPOT OF BOTHER
WITH THE JOLLY OLD KNEE.
294
00:18:59,467 --> 00:19:01,566
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
295
00:19:01,601 --> 00:19:05,267
I DON'T WISH TO DISCUSS THAT
WITH A PERFECT STRANGER.
296
00:19:06,868 --> 00:19:08,267
RIFF-RAFF.
297
00:19:19,834 --> 00:19:21,701
RICHARD!
298
00:19:23,601 --> 00:19:27,033
IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT,
ARE WE, OLD CHAP?
299
00:19:27,068 --> 00:19:29,134
WHAT WERE YOU DOING
WITH THAT GIRL?
300
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,165
I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING
WITH HER.
301
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,133
I'M JUST ABOUT TO HAVE
A BATH BEFORE CHANGING,
302
00:19:34,168 --> 00:19:37,067
AND I SURPRISED HER.
- I'M NOT SURPRISED.
303
00:19:37,102 --> 00:19:38,699
SCARED HER WITLESS,
OLD BOY.
304
00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:41,534
I WAS ABOUT TO INVITE
YOUR GOOD LADY FOR A DRINK.
305
00:19:41,569 --> 00:19:43,100
YES, IT'S VERY KIND
OF YOU, MAJOR.
306
00:19:43,135 --> 00:19:44,833
I COULD DO WITH A DRINK.
307
00:19:44,868 --> 00:19:47,734
BUT NOT DOWNSTAIRS, THERE ARE
TOO MANY STRANGE PEOPLE ABOUT.
308
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:49,432
I KNOW JUST THE PLACE.
309
00:19:49,467 --> 00:19:51,267
I'LL MEET YOU IN THE
CAR PARK IN 10 MINUTES.
310
00:19:51,302 --> 00:19:54,000
YES. I'LL TRY.
311
00:19:54,035 --> 00:19:54,998
RICHARD.
312
00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:56,632
ONSLOW IS HERE.
313
00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:59,632
WHY IS ONSLOW HERE?
- BECAUSE ROSE IS HERE.
314
00:19:59,667 --> 00:20:02,534
HE'S COME TO TAKE HER HOME.
- HAS ROSE BEEN STAYING HERE?
315
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:05,868
IN ROOM 210.
316
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,617
I MUST KEEP THEM AWAY
FROM THE MAJOR.
317
00:20:10,652 --> 00:20:12,799
THEY'LL ONLY MAKE FUN
OF HIS LEG.
318
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:15,834
PERSONALLY, I'D RATHER BE
WITH ONSLOW THAN GOING GOLFING.
319
00:20:15,869 --> 00:20:18,501
THE MAJOR'S BOOKED ME
WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER.
320
00:20:18,536 --> 00:20:21,100
SOMEBODY CALLED
PORKY HOOTEN.
321
00:20:21,135 --> 00:20:23,132
PORKY HOOTEN?
322
00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:25,767
OH, THAT'S VERY
PUBLIC SCHOOL.
323
00:20:25,802 --> 00:20:27,599
PORKY HOOTEN.
324
00:20:27,634 --> 00:20:30,634
YOU MUST WEAR SOMETHING
STRIKING TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION.
325
00:20:30,669 --> 00:20:33,599
I WAS GOING TO WEAR- - I'LL
ADVISE YOU WHAT TO WEAR.
326
00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:37,501
THIS MAN IS PROBABLY CONNECTED
CLOSELY WITH THE ARISTOCRACY.
327
00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:39,299
HE MAY EVEN HAVE A TITLE.
328
00:20:39,334 --> 00:20:43,334
THEY DO, YOU KNOW,
WITH NAMES LIKE PORKY HOOTEN.
329
00:20:43,369 --> 00:20:46,067
THE ONE THING THEY
CAN'T BEAR IS TIMIDITY.
330
00:20:46,102 --> 00:20:48,601
YOU MUST MAKE
EVERY EFFORT, RICHARD,
331
00:20:48,636 --> 00:20:51,100
TO STUN HIM
WITH YOUR PERSONALITY.
332
00:21:27,667 --> 00:21:30,167
OH, THERE SHE IS,
333
00:21:30,202 --> 00:21:31,766
THE MINX.
334
00:21:31,801 --> 00:21:33,766
COMING, MAJOR.
335
00:21:33,801 --> 00:21:37,167
GOD, SHE'S ATTRACTIVE
IN A WEIRD SORT OF WAY.
336
00:21:39,334 --> 00:21:41,517
WHAT'S OUR HYACINTH
DOING HERE?
337
00:21:41,552 --> 00:21:43,666
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
SHE'S DOING HERE.
338
00:21:43,701 --> 00:21:45,901
ALL I KNOW, IS THAT I
DAREN'T BRING MY FRIEND
339
00:21:45,936 --> 00:21:47,901
DOWNSTAIRS IN CASE
SHE'S LURKING ABOUT.
340
00:21:47,936 --> 00:21:50,100
SHE'S LIABLE
TO CAUSE A SCENE.
341
00:21:52,601 --> 00:21:55,367
THANK YOU. WOULD YOU PUT THAT ON ROOM 210?
342
00:21:55,402 --> 00:21:57,201
VERY GOOD, MADAM.
343
00:21:57,236 --> 00:21:58,965
WHAT'S THESE?
344
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,965
JUST A FEW BISCUITS, SIR.
345
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,167
I'VE GOT A LONG DRIVE.
WHAT ABOUT A BACON BUTTIE?
346
00:22:05,167 --> 00:22:07,032
I'M AFRAID
AT THIS TIME OF DAY
347
00:22:07,067 --> 00:22:09,267
IT'S JUST COFFEE
AND BISCUITS, SIR.
348
00:22:09,302 --> 00:22:11,601
OH, CHUFF ME.
349
00:22:13,334 --> 00:22:15,534
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
LIVING ON ALL WEEKEND?
350
00:22:15,569 --> 00:22:17,766
DON'T ASK.
351
00:22:17,801 --> 00:22:21,100
I WONDER IF IT'S SAFE TO
BRING MY FRIEND DOWNSTAIRS.
352
00:22:21,135 --> 00:22:23,365
TO GET STUCK
INTO THESE BISCUITS?
353
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,334
ANOTHER ONE TO GET STUCK INTO
ALL THESE FIVE LITTLE BISCUITS?
354
00:22:27,369 --> 00:22:29,167
OH, NICE.
355
00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:51,599
READY FOR A LITTLE SPIN?
356
00:22:51,634 --> 00:22:55,501
ANYWHERE, MAJOR. JUST
TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE.
357
00:22:55,536 --> 00:22:57,467
OH!
358
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,499
ALONE AT LAST.
359
00:23:49,534 --> 00:23:52,701
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAJOR?
- CAN'T YOU TELL?
360
00:23:52,736 --> 00:23:54,466
NOW, MAJOR-
361
00:23:54,501 --> 00:23:56,801
HERE AND NOW,
IF YOU'D LIKE.
362
00:23:56,836 --> 00:23:59,200
I MUST BE GETTING BACK.
363
00:24:03,434 --> 00:24:04,566
OH!
364
00:24:04,601 --> 00:24:06,899
LISTEN! I BELIEVE
I HEAR A LINNET.
365
00:24:06,934 --> 00:24:09,667
GOD, YOU KNOW JUST
HOW TO INFLAME A CHAP.
366
00:24:09,702 --> 00:24:11,417
NO. UN-UN-UN...
367
00:24:11,452 --> 00:24:13,098
UN-UNHAND ME.
368
00:24:13,133 --> 00:24:15,133
I'M A MEMBER
OF THE CHORAL SOCIETY.
369
00:24:15,168 --> 00:24:17,899
MATURE, MATRONLY LADIES
370
00:24:17,934 --> 00:24:20,133
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MY PABULUM.
371
00:24:26,901 --> 00:24:28,968
OOH!
372
00:24:31,534 --> 00:24:34,601
EVEN AS A YOUNG MAN, MY
COLLEAGUES WERE ALL CHASING AFTER
373
00:24:36,868 --> 00:24:40,133
BUT I WAS CAPTIVATED
BY THE GOVERNOR'S WIFE.
374
00:24:40,168 --> 00:24:43,400
SHE WAS BUILT TO LAST,
BUT I LOVED HER.
375
00:24:43,435 --> 00:24:46,065
OO-OOH!
376
00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:48,132
REALLY, YOU MUST STOP,
MAJOR.
377
00:24:48,167 --> 00:24:51,067
IF MY SHERIDAN WERE HERE
HE'D BE APPALLED.
378
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:57,701
OO-OOH!
379
00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:04,933
SHE REALLY DOES REMIND ME
OF THE GOVERNOR'S WIFE.
380
00:25:04,968 --> 00:25:08,133
DAMN IT. I'VE SCARED
HER, THE LITTLE FLOWER.
381
00:25:08,168 --> 00:25:10,334
I LOVE YOU,
MRS. BUCKET!
382
00:25:10,369 --> 00:25:13,467
IT'S "BOUQUET"!
383
00:25:13,502 --> 00:25:15,501
COME BACK!
384
00:25:15,536 --> 00:25:17,501
OW!
385
00:25:23,267 --> 00:25:25,717
I THOUGHT YOUR ROSE
WAS READY.
386
00:25:25,752 --> 00:25:28,132
SHE'S JUST SAYING
GOODBYE.
387
00:25:28,167 --> 00:25:30,367
I HOPE IT'S NOT ONE
OF HER LONG GOODBYES.
388
00:25:30,402 --> 00:25:32,567
IF IT'S ONE OF YOUR ROSE'S
LONG GOODBYES
389
00:25:32,602 --> 00:25:34,632
WE'LL BE HERE
ALL AFTERNOON.
390
00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:37,517
I REMEMBER WHEN WE
USED TO HAVE LONG GOODBYES,
391
00:25:37,552 --> 00:25:40,367
BACK IN THE BUS SHELTER
IN GARIBALDI STREET.
392
00:25:40,402 --> 00:25:42,801
YOU REMEMBER!
- OF COURSE I REMEMBER.
393
00:25:42,836 --> 00:25:45,200
WE MISSED THE FIZZING BUS,
DIDN'T WE?
394
00:25:50,267 --> 00:25:52,834
WHAT THE HECK?
395
00:25:53,834 --> 00:25:55,799
WHAT'S HAPPENED
TO OUR HYACINTH?
396
00:25:55,834 --> 00:25:59,868
AT A ROUGH GUESS, I'D SAY
SHE'D BEEN MAULED BY A BEAR.
397
00:25:59,903 --> 00:26:02,768
IT'S NOT OFTEN
OUR HYACINTH LOOKS
398
00:26:02,803 --> 00:26:05,634
LIKE SHE'S BEEN
MAULED BY A BEAR.
399
00:26:05,669 --> 00:26:07,734
THAT'S MORE
LIKE ROSE.
400
00:26:38,167 --> 00:26:40,633
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT.
401
00:26:40,668 --> 00:26:43,065
THEY ARE
BEAUTIFUL GROUNDS.
402
00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:46,467
A LITTLE OVERGROWN IN PLACES.
403
00:26:58,767 --> 00:27:00,234
PBBBBB.
404
00:27:11,367 --> 00:27:13,367
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?
405
00:27:13,402 --> 00:27:16,265
TYPICAL.
406
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:18,968
MEN EXPECT YOU TO LOOK
YOUR BEST AT EVERY MOMENT.
407
00:27:20,534 --> 00:27:22,501
WE'RE GOING HOME,
RICHARD.
408
00:27:22,536 --> 00:27:25,000
NO GOLF?
409
00:27:25,035 --> 00:27:26,766
NO.
410
00:27:26,801 --> 00:27:28,699
JUST WHEN YOU THINK
411
00:27:28,734 --> 00:27:30,801
THERE'S NO COMPASSION
IN THE UNIVERSE.
412
00:27:30,836 --> 00:27:32,566
DON'T BE SILLY,
RICHARD.
413
00:27:32,601 --> 00:27:35,501
BUT WHY ARE WE GOING HOME?
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF?
414
00:27:35,536 --> 00:27:38,252
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF?
415
00:27:38,287 --> 00:27:40,968
I'VE JUST BEEN MAKING
A FEW HORTICULTURAL NOTES.
416
00:27:55,167 --> 00:27:57,083
POOR OLD MAJOR.
HE WAS WOUNDED.
417
00:27:57,118 --> 00:27:59,000
SOMEWHERE EAST
OF SUEZ I THINK.
418
00:27:59,035 --> 00:28:01,634
I'M NOT SURPRISED.
419
00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:08,232
THOUGH HE DID PAY ME
A GREAT COMPLIMENT.
420
00:28:08,267 --> 00:28:12,100
APPARENTLY I REMIND HIM
OF THE GOVERNOR'S WIFE.
30686
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