All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s14e03 The Pickleorette.eng

Aw. Hey there, big guy.

How you feeling this morning?

- Good.
- Okay. Just checking.

- You're a tough little cookie.
- Thanks, linda.

Are you guys, talking
about dad's hemorrhoid?

You mean gary?

You named my hemorrhoid?

Yeah. Gary. He
lives in your butt.

Well, gary has moved out.

- It's just my butt now.
- Brian?

Wait, my butt's name is brian?

Big ol' brian.

Well, I'm glad
you're feeling better.

So much better. Yep.

'cause what the doctor
was gonna do to you

Sounded like a horror movie.

W-we don't have
to talk about it.

Seems like we do.

The doctor said if
your dad's hemorrhoid

Didn't get smaller,

They'd have to put a needle

Up his butt and drain it.

- Agh! - Ew!
- Nope.

They were about to do it.

But then I started
to get nauseous

And I was dry heaving.

In-in a brave way. So, he
said we could wait a few days

- And see if it got better on its own.
- And it did.

Yup. It's totally better.
All gone. On its own.

- Never will have to do that needle thing.
- Butt needle.

- Gene.
- Why isn't gretchen calling me back?

I know why.

'cause I melted her lookbook

At the salon and
she's really upset.

I'm still a little confused
how you melted something

- While getting a haircut.
- I was in the chair,

Looking at gretchen's lookbook.

She has old magazine cutouts

Of every hairstyle
she's ever done.

She puts inspirational
stuff in there, too.

Some cute dogs, jason priestley.

Anyway, gretchen
had to step away

And she put down
her curling iron.

So I then decided I
wanted to read a magazine,

So I put down the lookbook
on top of the curling iron,

Which I did not see.

Apparently, you're not
supposed to do that.

- Because of fire?
- Yes, tina.

It melted in the
middle and got sort of

Roasted around the edges.

- Like a cubano.
- Anyway, I feel horrible.

I-I'm just gonna call her again.

Damn it. Voice mail.

Hey, gretchen.

My god, I bet you look

So pretty today,
I can't stand it.

That's a weird-looking
squirrel. Wait, never mind.

That's just a wet
sock laying in the road.

- It makes you think.
- Well, well, well.

What do we have here?

Free stuff? Veterinarian,
the board game.

"feel the high-paced intensity
of a veterinarian's office

From the comfort
of your living room."

Damn. Who's excited
to play this after school?

I mean, the television
still works, right?

Look, you get to operate
on dogs, birds, cats.

There's a spinner
thing. That's fun. Right?

You guys kept walking.

Gretchen!

- Hi, linda.
- Hi!

You're not here to beat
me up, right?

No, I just got my nails done.

Okay, well, how about a
free burger? On the house.

Sure. I could eat.

Wait. On the house? Seriously?

One burger of the day
for gretchen, bobby.

- Okay.
- Hi, bob. How are you?

- You look good.
- Hi, gretchen.

- His hemorrhoid went away.
- Thanks, lin.

- They were gonna have to use a butt needle.
- Lin.

Yup, yup, it...
But it's fine now.

It's all good.

- Bye.
- So, I figured out how you can pay me back.

- Yeah?
- You're friends with a limo driver, right?

- Yeah.
- Well, you know how I'm planning

My baby sister jestain's
bachelorette party?

Yeah.

And everything
was gonna be great.

We were gonna eat
at the oyster palace.

- Ooh, yum.
- Yeah, she likes the seafood tower.

It's like they put the
whole ocean on that thing.

And after dinner,
we're going to pickles

To see a different
kind of seafood tower,

- If you know what I mean!
- I think I do. Should I say?

- Teddy, no.
- And we were gonna drive around all night

In a limo, which apparently
you have to book in advance,

Which I did not do.

So I was wondering if your
friend could help me out,

And I'll forget all about
you burning my lookbook

That I worked on for 15 years!

Okay, okay, yes! I'll
call her, I'll call her!

Frick, linda, I'm out of town.

- No.
- Yeah, I'm staying with my friend axel

In cedarburg,
wisconsin for the week.

He bought a bunch of goats.

His neighbors are mad at him

And honestly, I don't blame 'em.

He doesn't have a fence. Wait!

- What?
- Use my limo.

You just have to find
a driver you can trust

Who's comfortable handling
a large, elegant vehicle

That's also a
rolling work of art.

- Do you know someone like that?
- I mean, I...

- Wha-what about me?
- Done.

You're a limo driver now.

- Seriously?
- Of course.

You just have to pay for gas
and clean up any pukes or poops.

- Or puke-poops, which is a thing.
- Thank you so much, nat.

I'll take good care of her.

Yes. Now I don't have to
burn something you love.

This is gonna be the
best bachelorette party.

I'm the best big sister ever!

This bachelorette
party's gonna suck.

I screwed up. None of
jestain's friends can come!

Okay, slow down, tell
me what happened.

I forgot to send
the email invite

And now all her friends

Are doing other
things tomorrow night.

- All of 'em?
- Yeah.

One of 'em's an er doctor.

Another one's visiting her
mom in florida. I mean, come on.

And another one "already
has plans" because the person

"let them know more than
a day before the event."

So now we have an empty
limo. Except for me, jestain

And ms. Baker, our
third-grade teacher.

- Your third-grade teacher?
- I was desperate.

Third-grade teachers
can be friends, linda.

Should we just do it
on a different night?

No, it has to be tomorrow.

Jestain asked her boss
for the night off weeks ago.

That wing you do
doesn't just let waitresses

Take off whatever
night they want.

That limo's gonna feel so empty.

Well, I could go, maybe,

As a guest?

I mean, I know jestain, sort of.

I met her that
time at the salon,

When she brought you wings.

And then you ate the
wings while you did my hair.

- Okay.
- And my sister gayle

Could come, maybe?
She's sort of fun

For people to be around.

- Yeah.
- Then it'll be you, me and our little sisters

Hanging out and shouting...

- And ms. Baker, too.
- Yeah.

Maybe that could work
and not be too weird.

Now we just need to
find a new limo driver.

Ooh, what about bob?

Wait, you want me
to drive the limo?

Bobby, please. I need
this night to go well

So gretchen will forgive me.

And driving is
just like sitting.

So, really, you'll just
be sitting all night.

I love sitting.

Well, maybe you
want to sit down here

And play a little board game
that's fun for the whole family?

- Nope. - No thanks.
- Sorry, tina.

Not feeling it right
now. Okay, I get it.

So bob can do it.

- Bob's gonna drive. - Great.

Hey, this is gonna
be okay, right?

Of course. We're
gonna give jestain

The bachelorette
party of her dreams,

With people she kind
of knows. All right!

Thank you.

Doesn't your father look
like a real limo driver?

What can't this guy do?

Touch his toes.

- Touch his knees?
- Okay.

- Brush his teeth?
- W-we don't have to play this game.

Wait, where's jen? She
should be here by now.

That's the first
rule of babysitting.

- You got to be at the place.
- I'm gonna call her.

Hi, jen. It's linda belcher.

- Hi, linda. It's jen.
- Are you on your way?

- In life?
- To our house?

I'm not babysitting
till next weekend,

So if I left now I'm worried
I'd get there too early.

Next weekend? No, tonight.

It, um, can't be tonight because

I wrote down "linda belcher
babysit next weekend."

Tonight I wrote down
"teach night school."

Class, go ahead and take
out your graphing calculators.

I should probably
get off the phone. Bye.

Okay, tina, you're
in charge tonight.

In charge?

So they have to do
or play whatever I say?

No, mom, please.

She's gonna make
us neuter animals.

Sorry, she's the oldest, she's
in charge and we got to go.

Don't neuter anything
I wouldn't neuter

And stay out of my room.

Just going over a speed bump.

Front wheels...

And back wheels.

Yeah, we did it.

He's very bad at driving.

Gayle, what are you wearing?

Is that your
renaissance faire outfit?

Yeah. I also sleep
in it sometimes.

Ooh. Hey, gretchen.

I just thought of something.

Bob can't be bob, your husband.

It kind of ruins the magic.

- Can he be someone else?
- Um, yep.

Bob, you got that?

- What am I doing?
- I got to go. Bye.

Pretend you're not
my husband and just

- Be the limo driver.
- Okay.

- And maybe you should come up with a fake name.
- Really?

- You should probably have an accent.
- Wait, what?

- I-I don't want to do an accent.
- I think you got to do it.

Bob, pretend you're an ex-con

Putting your life back together.

And you didn't mean
to hurt all those people

But their ghosts come
to see you at night

And give you little riddles
to solve about their lives.

- Do I say all of that, or...
- No, that's just your vibe.

My god, look
at this freaking limo!

Hello. Ciao.

I-I'm your limousine
driver, dob.

Dob the driver.
And, I am not married.

- I'm single.
- Not me. I'm getting married.

Hello, dob. It's nice
to have never met you.

Glad you could make it, linda.

And gayle, right?

This is ms. Baker.

I haven't seen her
since third grade.

I brought stickers. Jestain
always liked stickers.

- Gretchen liked fighting.
- Well, now look at her.

Or look at me,
'cause she did my hair.

- She's a genius with hair.
- Like that einstein guy.

Have you seen the hair on him?

I can't believe we're
going to pickles after dinner!

Gretch, remember the
last time we were there?

- Of course I do.
- The tea party.

- The tea party!
- Tea party?

Is that, like, a sex
thing I don't know about?

No, the three
dancers were on stage

Having an actual tea party.

Not just any dancers, either.

The best dancers at pickles.
Throb, rocket and steve.

Yeah, sitting in little chairs.

Little saucers, tea
cups, tiny sandwiches.

And then the music kicked in.

And when those
men formed a pyramid

And the guy on top
sprayed tea everywhere

Like he was the damn
fountain at the bellagio...

In that moment,
everything in the world felt

- Beautiful.
- My god.

And I got to be there
with my big sister.

If we see that
performance tonight... wow.

You're seeing it.

Don't you worry. Look
how many singles I brought.

$40 worth of singles.

I dropped one.

I-I dropped some more.

I love my big sister!

Red light.

Hi. How's your sandwich?

Now, look, I know you guys

Are a little on the fence
about playing this game.

On the fence?

But I'm in charge,
so we're doing it.

So, it says the player who

Has saved the most animals wins.

You spin the
little spinner thing

And move your game
piece. Gene, you go first.

Four.

Ooh, exciting. Procedure card.

- See what it says.
- "express poodle's anal glands.

Collect $150." yeah!

Way to go, gene. My turn.

Six. Big number. Heh.

"fake credentials,
license suspended"?

"lose two turns,
pay $200"? What?

But, having fun.

All right, louise, your turn.

- Okay.
- Hope you get a six. Kidding.

We're going to drive by pickles

On our way to dinner.

Maybe if we look real
hard we'll see some abs.

Yeah. A little abs-petizer.

What the...

Linda. Linda.

- What?
- Pickles is being fumigated.

What?

- Look.
- No. My god.

Um, you know
what, don't drive this way.

- Turn, turn, turn.
- What?

- Turn.
- My god.

Hang on, everyone.

- Whoa!
- Easy there!

Sorry. That,
street was...

No good.

What a mysterious man.

I wonder what demons
he's running from.

Welcome to the
oyster palace, ladies.

Um... gretchen,
hang back here for a second.

Everyone else go in.

Everything's fine. Ooh,
I can smell the oysters.

- What is it? What's going on?
- Pickles is closed.

- They're fumigating.
- What? No, no, no, no, no!

That's why I turned like
that. I-I'm a good driver.

Didn't you call and
make a reservation?

Who makes a
reservation at a strip club?

"hey, hi, can you reserve
some naked men for us?"

I just figured you'd
called or something.

What are we gonna do?

Well, is there another
strip club nearby?

There was dingles in bog
harbor, but it shut down last year.

And, of course,
todd's tush tavern

Closed a while back.

So, pickles is really
the only option.

I keep screwing this up.

What? No.

You heard how much
pickles meant to her.

Can we at least
wait till after dinner

To tell her we're not going?

No. You're not
telling her anything.

You asked for my help
and I'm gonna help you.

I don't just burn
precious lookbooks,

I also put out fires.

- I just got chills.
- Yep, yep.

Wait, jen! Jen's
cousin works at pickles.

- Hot cousin dave?
- Yes.

Maybe we can call
jen and get his number.

And then maybe he
can get us the numbers

- Of those guys.
- Throb, rocket and steve?

- Yeah.
- Wait, and then what?

There's no pickles right now.

Well, maybe we all
go to a different place.

- Like, maybe they'll come to gretchen's place?
- Damn it.

My landlady said no more
parties since the one where

I kind of peed off my
balcony onto her balcony.

What is a balcony for, then?

What are you using
your balcony for?!

I mean, there is a place
we could use. Bob?

- No.
- Come on, we're desperate here.

I don't know if
that's even legal.

- We'll cover up the windows.
- But we serve food there.

What if penis sweat
gets everywhere?

I mean, it won't get
everywhere. Do it for gretchen.

Yeah, do it for me. And jestain.

- My god. My sweet little jestain.
- Fine.

- All right!
- Yeah, yeah!

Pickles at the restaurant.

My god, thank you.

We should get inside and
eat oysters. For jestain.

Right. Bobby, can you
call jen and all the other people?

- Accent or no accent?
- Feel your way through it.

Have fun. Thank you,
love you, bye. Oysters!

Okay, 50 bucks for
giving a parakeet cpr.

Pretty good deal.

Yeah, I'm rolling in
veterinarian dough.

Lopping off dog testicles
is easy money, baby.

All right, tina, it's your turn.

Break a leg. Not
a dog's leg. Again.

- That was sad.
- Here I go.

Three. "a
cat was hit by a car.

"spin an even number
for a blood transfusion

Or lose the patient
and your next turn"?

- You got to be kidding me.
- You got this, t.

- Do it for kitty.
- Five. Damn it.

Ooh. Sorry, kitty.

She can be friends with
the other ones you lost.

In pet heaven.

Tina, it doesn't seem like

You're really enjoying this.

We don't have to keep playing.

What are you talking about?

I-I love this game.

I don't even care at
all how bad I'm doing.

I heard she
went to the worst vet school.

Do you think bob
can pull this off?

Yeah. Bob is great
at talking on the phone.

Unless it's to my
mother. Or-or people.

But maybe he's great at
talking to male strippers?

I'm so nervous.

I-I'm gonna drink some more
of my scotch on the beach.

Excuse me, waiter.

Can I take these
shells home with me?

Those are yours to keep, ma'am.

Yes! Anyone else
keeping your shells?

- Can I have your shells?
- What, you want my shrimp tails?

Yeah. Give 'em to me.

Should we get another round?

- You want another round?
- Ms. Baker.

- Look at you.
- What?

It's not a school night.

Who wants stickers?

- I'll take one.
- Ooh, everybody gets stickers.

I'm so full of seafood

But I'm saving room for pickles!

- Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.
- Yeah. pickles.

I'm putting my
sticker on my face.

Hot cousin dave.
It-it's bob belcher.

Your cousin jen babysits for us.

I mean, our-our kids.

We're-we're grownups.

Quick, work question for you.

Um, do you happen to have throb,

Rocket and steve's
phone numbers?

Which throb? There's
more than one?

Hi, is this, um,
throb? Sorry. Terry.

Your real name isn't
throb. I-I... of course.

Well, hot dave
gave me your number.

You guys don't call him that?

I-I think he's pretty hot.

I'm wondering if you're busy...

You're at a nursing
home? Stripping?

Right, not stripping.

You're w-w... You're
with your father.

That's-that's
nice. Is he mobile?

You're making pizza. That's,

That's great, rocket.

Well, tell your
son happy birthday

From-from me.

Hey, steve, my name is bob.

I-I got your number
from hot dave,

Who I guess isn't considered

Hot in your
community, but anyway,

This is, kind of a hail mary,

But, here-here it is.

Whoa. Ms. Baker loosened up.

Lot of mai tais. So many.

Well? Are they
coming? I'm freaking out.

- I don't know.
- What do you mean you don't know?

Well, throb is with his dad

And it's rocket's son's
birthday. They're having pizza.

But I left a voice
mail for steve.

A good voice mail? I think?

I mean, you know, for me?

So we don't know if he's coming?

What do we do?
We get bob to strip?

Bob, what are you
comfortable showing us?

I-I don't think
that's a good plan.

I think we just take
her to the restaurant

And hope steve shows up.

We're screwed.

Well, who knows? Maybe
she's all full of shrimp

And oysters and shots
that gretchen made up

That used vodka and tartar sauce

In a way that seemed to make
the bartenders uncomfortable

And now she's sitting
down in the cozy limo

And she won't be that
excited for strippers anymore?

Strippers! Strippers!

Strippers! Strippers!

Well, we are here, ladies.

At the restar... I-I m...
I mean, pickles.

The private pickles place.

Yup, private pickles.

It's better than regular
old public pickles

Because here you get the dancers

Or maybe a dancer
all to ourselves.

I-it's, like, a premium package.

Yeah, yeah. Um, dob,

Any word on your,

Limo driver phone
about anything?

Nothing.

Wait, isn't this
your restauran...

- Hey.
- You haven't been here before.

You don't know where you are.

Looks like a burger place.

That's why it's such
a good private club.

Let's go in.

Spin an odd number

Or the bunny will
have to be euthanized.

I don't know if I can take this.

Tina, I can't believe
I'm saying this,

But it's pretty late. We
should probably go to bed?

No. We started this
and we have to finish it.

Kids? What are
you still doing up?

I'm just, um, getting
sheets for the restaurant.

Is the restaurant cold?

Um, here's the thing.

Sometimes mommies and daddies

Are doing a bachelorette party

And the strip club is closed

And you have to have
the strippers come to you.

We know all that.

Meaning, come to the restaurant?

Yes. W-we hope.

We haven't heard back.

Are you sure we shouldn't, um,

Come down there and help out?

Serve waters,
choreograph numbers?

Sorry. Kids at a bachelorette
party kind of kills the vibe.

No offense. Now go to bed.

And stay out of my room.

Okay. Yeah, we'll just go to bed

While pickles is
going on downstairs.

That's what I say every
night. Talking about my.

Okay, I have a proposal
as your babysitter.

We stop playing the
game, get the ladder,

Go into the attic, drop
down into the crawlspace

And watch the stripper party

Through the vent
in the restaurant.

Whoa. Okay.

I like sneaking into places.

- Let's do that.
- But good game, everybody.

Who knows who would have
won. neck and neck.

But I feel
bad about that cat's neck.

Great, let's go see
some grownups

Acting like maniacs
around ding-a-lings.

Good wine at this place?

Tastes like it was
opened this week.

He's not coming.
This is a disaster.

I'm so sorry, gretchen.

Do you want me to strip?

I mean, I would, I-if
we could, you know,

Make it a lot darker in here,

Like, pretty much
completely dark?

No, let's just
call it. But thanks.

I'm just gonna tell her.

Jestain, I screwed
up everything.

- No strippers are coming!
- W-what do you mean?

I forgot to invite all your
friends until it was too late

And that's why
they're all busy tonight.

And I forgot to get a limo
and dob is actually bob.

He's a burger cook
and this is his restaurant.

- Hi. Hello.
- And I never called pickles,

So I didn't know
that they were closed.

I just messed up everything.

I'm the worst person you
could have asked to do this.

Boo!

I'm sorry. I wanted
this to be great.

I wanted to do this
for you 'cause you

Look up to me so much.

There's more crying at this

Strip club than I expected.

It was a lot of
work to get down here

And I'm not sure how we get out.

It's fine. Never mind.

I'm sorry, jestain. I'm
a terrible big sister.

- Gretchen...
- I ruined your party.

- You're not terrible.
- You don't get it, linda.

You're always the
perfect older sister.

I mean, I'm not.

- Definitely not.
- Okay, gayle.

She makes a lot of mistakes.

You know, one time she
tried to sleep with my husband.

No, gayle. That was you.

- My husband. And you. Bob.
- That's true.

Well, that's not
how I remember it.

I'm just saying, big
sisters are allowed

To make mistakes,
too. We're not perfect.

Otherwise, how do little sisters

Know it's okay
not to be perfect?

That's what
you've been doing for me.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Gretch, I know tonight
didn't go exactly as planned.

Like, none of my
friends could come.

Though ms. Baker is
making her way up there!

That's right.

But you're the
coolest person I know.

You're, like, the
one I want to be with

On my bachelorette party night.

- I freakin' love you.
- I freakin' love you, too!

- I still have a hemorrhoid.
- What?

It-it's not better. It hurts.

I'm in a lot of pain right now.

I-I lied.

I knew it. That man has
been clenched for three days.

I was so scared
at the doctor, lin.

When he was about to
put the needle in my butt,

I just wanted you to be
there to hold my hand.

But I was too
embarrassed to ask you

To come to the
butt doctor with me.

My god, of course
I'd hold your hand.

I don't want you to be scared.

You're my big, strong boy.

Thanks, lin. Sorry.

It seemed like we were
all confessing things.

Are we in the right place?

- Steve?
- You came!

Hi, steve.

Well, it was hard to say no

To that voice mail.

That guy sounded so desperate.

Hey. That-that was me.

I-I... I get that a lot.

I brought my friend smooth.

I'm sorry we can't do
the tea party routine,

But smooth and I can do
the double dutch routine.

I don't know if
you've seen that one.

Tea party.

Sorry, we need a third person

For the high tea finale.

- We form kind of a pyramid.
- I know.

The double dutch
is still pretty good.

I mean, it's no tea
party, but what is?

I'll be your third!

- Wow. - Damn.
- Seriously?

- Um...
- I know every move.

And I'm strong.
I'll be the base.

Right on. I'll be the top.

Can we borrow some
cups and saucers?

Sure.

- Smooth?
- Let's serve some tea.

Okay, all right, here we go.

This makes me
want tiny sandwiches.

Wait, where are they going?

No, no, no. Are they
climbing onto the counter?

We can only see their feet.
I don't want to just see feet.

Watching you right now
is my favorite part so far.

You look like a dog
that got locked out of

A tennis ball store.

Too soon. She
lost a lot of dogs today.

God.

- Take it off!
- Yeah!

You got to be
freakin' kidding me.

C-careful with the cups.

Careful with the cups!

- Felt beautiful.
- My gosh.

Now I don't have
to burn something you love!

I'm the best big sister ever!

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