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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,009 --> 00:00:01,573 Previously on Web Therapy... 2 00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:03,979 Barbara is my board of directors, 3 00:00:03,997 --> 00:00:07,637 and she said that she's very concerned about our upcoming retreat. 4 00:00:07,655 --> 00:00:10,820 I had, you know, what you might describe as an "incident". 5 00:00:10,847 --> 00:00:13,381 - Oh. - Do you ever do talks? 6 00:00:13,399 --> 00:00:14,560 I should. 7 00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,065 - Do talks. - You must come. 8 00:00:16,102 --> 00:00:17,904 I need to offer you, 9 00:00:17,941 --> 00:00:20,584 a partnership in Web Therapy. 10 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:23,683 - What have I been thinking? - When Putsy and I got married, 11 00:00:23,684 --> 00:00:25,815 she insisted I shut you down... 12 00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:28,331 and I... I... it's not a thing that a father should do to a daughter. 13 00:00:28,340 --> 00:00:32,329 Hi, I'm just calling to see if you got the divorce papers. 14 00:00:32,348 --> 00:00:34,844 Oh, yes, I did. I have them right here. 15 00:00:34,845 --> 00:00:36,875 - I don't think it's necessary. - I don't either. 16 00:00:36,893 --> 00:00:38,906 - Ok. - Should we rip them up? 17 00:00:55,424 --> 00:01:01,314 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 18 00:01:09,216 --> 00:01:10,762 Oh, hello, Kip. 19 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,487 - Hi. - Look at you calling me. Miss me? 20 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,180 - [Laughter] - You know, 21 00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:18,545 I think we really did the right think by spending the weekend together. 22 00:01:18,564 --> 00:01:22,048 - I do too. The Poconos are lovely. - It's a romantic... 23 00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:24,756 kind of... it cleared my head. - Me too. 24 00:01:24,774 --> 00:01:26,951 - ... of just so many things. - Like a... like a second honeymoon. 25 00:01:26,997 --> 00:01:30,042 It was kind of a second honeymoon. Without the sex, you know, 26 00:01:30,088 --> 00:01:32,311 - it was perfect. Even if it was sexless, 27 00:01:32,347 --> 00:01:35,164 you know, I understand. First night we ate too much, and... 28 00:01:35,183 --> 00:01:37,933 - the second night, it was... - That... that telephone was 29 00:01:37,935 --> 00:01:40,085 - so intriguing. - Right, right. 30 00:01:40,121 --> 00:01:43,853 I think at a certain age, sex is just... it's just sort of 31 00:01:43,881 --> 00:01:46,030 I don't know, there's something... 32 00:01:46,150 --> 00:01:48,262 - distateful to me. It's off-putting to me. - Off-putting. 33 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,216 - Right. - You know, I just think, "ok, we've done it, good." 34 00:01:51,262 --> 00:01:54,289 - Good, now, it's... - It's true. It's like watching repeats of the 35 00:01:54,326 --> 00:01:57,490 - same episode of ER. It doesn't matter - I know. 36 00:01:57,499 --> 00:01:59,777 what the carnage is, I've seen it already. 37 00:01:59,795 --> 00:02:01,780 I've seen it, I've done it, it's like [yawns), ok. 38 00:02:01,807 --> 00:02:04,103 - Good night, you know? - [Laughter] 39 00:02:04,130 --> 00:02:08,191 - See how in sync we are? - And we kind of reestablish what our 40 00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,637 relationship is about. 41 00:02:09,646 --> 00:02:11,667 Which is kind of solitary, and... 42 00:02:11,695 --> 00:02:13,623 and kind of moving parallel lines. 43 00:02:13,624 --> 00:02:17,448 But it's like sharing a cake. You have your half, and I have my half. 44 00:02:17,457 --> 00:02:18,893 I like my own half. 45 00:02:18,929 --> 00:02:21,335 - Me too. - And I like it cut in half, and I like it separated. 46 00:02:21,362 --> 00:02:24,060 - Right. Me too. - You know? I'm gonna be spending a lot more time 47 00:02:24,426 --> 00:02:26,704 in... you know, on my side of 48 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,798 - the plate. With my cake. - Oh. 49 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,743 And I wanted to tell you, that my clerk 50 00:02:31,779 --> 00:02:33,709 has found me the most, 51 00:02:33,745 --> 00:02:36,563 - comfortable little... - What? 52 00:02:36,683 --> 00:02:38,282 downtown... 53 00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:39,818 executive suite, which... 54 00:02:39,837 --> 00:02:41,748 You can rent... I've rented it for a year, 55 00:02:41,776 --> 00:02:44,273 you can rent it, you know, monthly, or sometimes hourly, 56 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:45,828 but I... I took a year, because 57 00:02:45,873 --> 00:02:49,907 I wanna be... I wanna get ready for the next step and I think this is gonna help me 58 00:02:49,934 --> 00:02:51,809 so I moved out some of my 59 00:02:51,836 --> 00:02:54,644 things, I don't... you may have noticed this, my suits are gone. 60 00:02:54,671 --> 00:02:57,717 I'm gonna be spending more time down here, 61 00:02:57,763 --> 00:03:00,315 in... in the suite, which is really 62 00:03:00,342 --> 00:03:04,110 it's gonna be good for me, and just, getting my head together. 63 00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:05,647 - Oh. - And working. 64 00:03:05,656 --> 00:03:06,873 - Networking? - Working, working. 65 00:03:06,993 --> 00:03:09,095 - Networking, absolutely. - Right. Okay. 66 00:03:09,132 --> 00:03:11,610 You know, I'm just going to be spending more time on my own 67 00:03:11,643 --> 00:03:13,238 than I was before. 68 00:03:13,275 --> 00:03:15,570 Oh, it was a lot before. All right. 69 00:03:15,589 --> 00:03:17,958 You know the concept of sequestering a jury? 70 00:03:18,078 --> 00:03:19,521 It's kind of similar, 71 00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:20,994 but it's sequestering a judge... 72 00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:22,704 - 'Cause I just need to keep objective, - Oh. 73 00:03:22,741 --> 00:03:25,667 which is hard when you're living with someone who's sort of, 74 00:03:25,668 --> 00:03:28,759 you know, filling you with her chatter. 75 00:03:28,805 --> 00:03:31,551 I mean, good chatter. It's just that it's a lot 76 00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,819 - of chatter. - Oh. Me? 77 00:03:33,939 --> 00:03:36,014 - Oh. - Well, yeah, I mean, you've got opinions. 78 00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:37,814 - Yes. - And I can't... 79 00:03:37,815 --> 00:03:38,995 - you know, I can't... - absolutely I have opinions. 80 00:03:39,004 --> 00:03:40,797 Well, I can't discuss the cases with you 81 00:03:40,806 --> 00:03:42,304 because that would be, you know... 82 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,770 That would be wrong. 83 00:03:43,793 --> 00:03:44,958 Oh, okay. Well, you know what? 84 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,339 Why don't I come down there? 85 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,990 And I can help decorate, 86 00:03:48,037 --> 00:03:50,154 you know, add a little woman's touch to it. 87 00:03:50,168 --> 00:03:52,700 No, not tonight. I'm having people over. 88 00:03:52,723 --> 00:03:54,339 - Some judges are coming over. - Oh. Oh. 89 00:03:54,380 --> 00:03:56,569 So it's kind of a business sort of social thing. 90 00:03:56,598 --> 00:03:58,071 - Okay. - So another time. 91 00:03:58,106 --> 00:04:00,094 So then maybe tomorrow night I should come. 92 00:04:00,135 --> 00:04:01,392 No, it's not good. 93 00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:03,993 - Tomorrow night? - I've got a business dinner tomorrow night. 94 00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:06,658 Well, I might surprise you one night. 95 00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:07,893 Okay. [Giggles] 96 00:04:07,928 --> 00:04:09,368 Mm-hmm. You could try. 97 00:04:09,701 --> 00:04:13,377 _ 98 00:04:14,718 --> 00:04:16,539 - Fiona? - Oh, hello, Garreth. 99 00:04:16,592 --> 00:04:17,341 Dad. 100 00:04:17,376 --> 00:04:19,524 - Sorry. - That's okay. Listen, 101 00:04:19,644 --> 00:04:21,192 Fiona, it's, um... 102 00:04:21,256 --> 00:04:22,380 Sort of a mixed... 103 00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:24,950 mixed bag of news. 104 00:04:24,979 --> 00:04:27,219 - Oh. - I did exactly what you told me to do. 105 00:04:27,221 --> 00:04:29,726 - Oh. - I just... I felt so confident. 106 00:04:29,772 --> 00:04:32,404 - You spoke with my mother? - "You cannot do this to me. 107 00:04:32,524 --> 00:04:34,443 You're humiliating me." 108 00:04:34,563 --> 00:04:37,311 And I... and I walked into that room, 109 00:04:37,431 --> 00:04:38,738 and I said to her, 110 00:04:38,774 --> 00:04:41,541 "would you turn that off so I can talk to you?" 111 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,916 Watching TV. 112 00:04:42,938 --> 00:04:44,284 You could call it that. 113 00:04:44,404 --> 00:04:45,023 Huh? 114 00:04:45,045 --> 00:04:47,039 And I looked her right in her good eye, 115 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,855 - Mm-hmm. - and I... 'cause one of them is not... 116 00:04:49,896 --> 00:04:51,635 - is a little cloudy. - Oh. 117 00:04:51,755 --> 00:04:53,125 Haven't seen her in a while. 118 00:04:53,151 --> 00:04:55,750 And I said, "you're having an affair, aren't you?" 119 00:04:55,870 --> 00:04:57,213 And she said to me, 120 00:04:57,249 --> 00:05:00,275 "Garreth, my sex life is none of your business." 121 00:05:00,445 --> 00:05:02,944 And she threw the vibrator right at me, and it was still on. 122 00:05:02,961 --> 00:05:03,728 - Oh! - And you know what? 123 00:05:03,763 --> 00:05:06,146 I felt so bad for that vibrator 124 00:05:06,357 --> 00:05:07,674 that it exists where it exists. 125 00:05:07,732 --> 00:05:08,681 You know what I'm saying to you? 126 00:05:08,716 --> 00:05:10,578 Right, no, I... and I know too much 127 00:05:10,607 --> 00:05:11,755 about what you're saying to me 128 00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:12,996 - as it turns out. - So then I said to her, 129 00:05:13,019 --> 00:05:14,476 "I cannot live like this anymore." 130 00:05:14,494 --> 00:05:15,858 And then I told her 131 00:05:15,905 --> 00:05:17,713 that Web Therapy was back up. 132 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,892 - Oh, you did? - And she went berserk. 133 00:05:21,671 --> 00:05:23,650 And she fired me... 134 00:05:25,084 --> 00:05:27,126 From being her husband. I'm... I'm out. 135 00:05:27,173 --> 00:05:28,314 - Oh. - I'm packed up. 136 00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:30,533 - I mean, the Uber car is waiting for me - Oh, you are. 137 00:05:30,603 --> 00:05:32,062 to take me to 138 00:05:32,182 --> 00:05:34,631 Uber-knows-the-hell-where. I'm just going. 139 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:37,296 And I'm leaving the penthouse, 140 00:05:37,416 --> 00:05:38,976 and she's leaving the penthouse. 141 00:05:39,017 --> 00:05:40,082 She's not staying there? 142 00:05:40,111 --> 00:05:41,663 It's... I... she's gone. 143 00:05:41,710 --> 00:05:44,068 - Oh! - This place is spooked. 144 00:05:44,188 --> 00:05:45,272 It's doomed. 145 00:05:45,296 --> 00:05:47,309 It is just this abandoned 146 00:05:47,429 --> 00:05:49,356 - shell of a penthouse... - Okay. 147 00:05:49,394 --> 00:05:51,131 - Just filled with evil spirits. - Right. 148 00:05:51,337 --> 00:05:53,376 - Oh. - It's like Rosemary's Baby... 149 00:05:53,399 --> 00:05:55,437 - Right, so... - ... wouldn't live in this place. 150 00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:56,659 I'll repaint. 151 00:05:56,683 --> 00:05:58,284 - It's more than repainting. - Oh. 152 00:05:58,285 --> 00:06:00,608 You have to bring that little woman in from Poltergeist 153 00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,307 and then make her go... 154 00:06:02,335 --> 00:06:04,021 - [Strained voice] "This house is clean." - Right. 155 00:06:04,035 --> 00:06:06,826 This needs a total respiritualization. 156 00:06:06,830 --> 00:06:09,444 Spiritual cleaning crew... maybe. 157 00:06:09,458 --> 00:06:11,129 - Maybe, maybe. - Yeah, that's funny. 158 00:06:11,249 --> 00:06:11,986 Okay. 159 00:06:12,024 --> 00:06:15,142 I'll take it seriously. And I'll get a shaman. 160 00:06:16,144 --> 00:06:17,577 - Fiona. - Yeah. 161 00:06:17,697 --> 00:06:19,811 - I have to tell you this. - Yes. 162 00:06:21,245 --> 00:06:22,870 I can't speak to you anymore. 163 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:23,609 Oh. 164 00:06:24,227 --> 00:06:25,145 - But... - It's part of the deal. 165 00:06:25,164 --> 00:06:26,859 I had to negotiate my way out of this, 166 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,142 and, Fiona, she said, 167 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:30,392 "I'm gonna give you this amount of money," and believe me, 168 00:06:30,512 --> 00:06:32,005 it's a nice amount of money. 169 00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:34,460 Because, you know, I have a lifestyle that I want to live... 170 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:35,486 - Right. - And that I'm used to living. 171 00:06:35,606 --> 00:06:37,205 - So do I. - So then I, 172 00:06:37,505 --> 00:06:38,863 master negotiator, 173 00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:41,026 said to her, "well, then I have a point that I want." 174 00:06:41,084 --> 00:06:41,794 Uh-huh. 175 00:06:41,812 --> 00:06:44,267 And I said to her that Web Therapy stays up 176 00:06:44,387 --> 00:06:45,774 and it stays working. 177 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,548 "You don't touch Fiona's business. 178 00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:50,371 Because she's really good at it." 179 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,893 Well, she came at me with the good scissors. 180 00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:55,250 And then I said, 181 00:06:55,265 --> 00:06:56,655 "uh, that's enough. You're a psychotic woman." 182 00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,316 But web therap... I can still do Web Therapy? 183 00:06:59,348 --> 00:07:01,818 I promise you Web Therapy will live. 184 00:07:01,938 --> 00:07:02,799 Okay. 185 00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:04,204 - I'm sorry. - Oh, yes. 186 00:07:04,237 --> 00:07:05,440 No, I'm sorry. 187 00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:06,823 Well, I'm... I mean, I don't know 188 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,158 if I'm sorry for you or not. 189 00:07:08,170 --> 00:07:09,660 Because you have a lot of money 190 00:07:09,673 --> 00:07:11,512 and you don't have to deal with her anymore. 191 00:07:11,553 --> 00:07:13,160 Well, that's... that's... 192 00:07:13,227 --> 00:07:14,864 that, to me, is a win-win. 193 00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:16,166 It's a win-win for you. 194 00:07:16,194 --> 00:07:17,334 But the lose-lose for me 195 00:07:17,336 --> 00:07:18,449 is that I don't... 196 00:07:19,681 --> 00:07:20,720 - ... you know. - That's nice. 197 00:07:20,727 --> 00:07:21,963 I don't know what to do with that 198 00:07:21,986 --> 00:07:23,555 because I've never really had a, 199 00:07:23,731 --> 00:07:25,753 you know, parental figure who... 200 00:07:25,997 --> 00:07:27,510 is interested. 201 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,346 Yeah, well, now you still don't. 202 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:29,937 That's... 203 00:07:30,522 --> 00:07:31,612 that's right. 204 00:07:31,683 --> 00:07:34,549 _ 205 00:07:36,188 --> 00:07:36,951 Hello. 206 00:07:37,002 --> 00:07:38,547 Oh, hello, Maya. 207 00:07:38,548 --> 00:07:40,239 - Hello, Fiona. - Oh, 208 00:07:40,253 --> 00:07:43,390 what a wonderfully enlightened time I had. 209 00:07:43,446 --> 00:07:45,313 I was so happy to be part of it. 210 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,364 [Sighs] I'm so pleased, 211 00:07:47,370 --> 00:07:51,434 and you brought such a warmth and authenticity 212 00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:53,822 and just a beautiful presence 213 00:07:53,824 --> 00:07:57,705 to what was an already intriguing event. 214 00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,577 I mean, you just put it over the top. 215 00:07:59,629 --> 00:08:02,463 Oh, I can tell you're still taking the... 216 00:08:02,725 --> 00:08:05,634 Those natural, organic pills 217 00:08:05,709 --> 00:08:08,469 - with the "V" on it that I brought you. - Oh, Fiona, Fiona. 218 00:08:08,505 --> 00:08:11,134 I have to say they are a miracle. 219 00:08:11,156 --> 00:08:12,539 - I mean... - They are. 220 00:08:12,553 --> 00:08:16,895 I spent the whole weekend with not a feather ruffled. 221 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,218 Isn't that something? They're really wonderful. 222 00:08:19,219 --> 00:08:21,352 It's probably just a placebo effect, but... 223 00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:23,950 Well, it's a cousin to Valerian root... 224 00:08:23,983 --> 00:08:26,286 - Valerian root, yes. - And some, I think, ginseng, 225 00:08:26,502 --> 00:08:28,333 - and some oregano. - Oh, that would be opposing... 226 00:08:28,358 --> 00:08:29,659 Valerian and ginseng. 227 00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,152 One is an upper. One is a downer. 228 00:08:31,199 --> 00:08:32,590 In nature, of course. 229 00:08:32,618 --> 00:08:36,107 Right, that's, I think, the whole ungodly miracle of it. 230 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,702 Well, this is why we're soul sisters. 231 00:08:38,739 --> 00:08:40,326 Oh, good, sister. 232 00:08:40,337 --> 00:08:42,169 I'd love to come to the next one. 233 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,848 - Oh, you... - Have to be invited. 234 00:08:43,928 --> 00:08:45,838 You are invited in perpetuity. 235 00:08:45,842 --> 00:08:48,391 Oh, wonderful, 'cause I saw Sonia Sotomayor 236 00:08:48,408 --> 00:08:50,427 - is going to attend and speak. - Yes. 237 00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:53,869 Well, we can have lunch in the ladies' tent together, 238 00:08:53,884 --> 00:08:54,595 the three of us. 239 00:08:54,637 --> 00:08:57,087 And maybe I could even arrange for your husband 240 00:08:57,124 --> 00:08:58,595 to meet her as well. 241 00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:00,937 Oh, that would be wonderful. 242 00:09:00,965 --> 00:09:03,490 He's really... he admires her a lot. 243 00:09:03,906 --> 00:09:05,158 Yeah, so, and... 244 00:09:05,165 --> 00:09:07,034 I just... it'll be fun to have lunch. 245 00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,806 She's gonna eat the food that you serve there? 246 00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:13,579 We also do, uh, vegan Mexican food very well. 247 00:09:13,598 --> 00:09:14,348 Oh. 248 00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:15,945 So she'll feel right at home, 249 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,288 and she'll love it. 250 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,366 - Okay. - It's wonderful. 251 00:09:18,413 --> 00:09:21,489 We do a cashew cheese that you wouldn't believe, honestly. 252 00:09:21,564 --> 00:09:24,159 - I don't believe it. - You wouldn't believe it's not cheese. 253 00:09:24,177 --> 00:09:26,379 Well, I believe that it's not cheese. 254 00:09:26,684 --> 00:09:28,348 No, but you wouldn't. [Laughs] 255 00:09:28,375 --> 00:09:30,728 Oh. Except that it's not. 256 00:09:30,754 --> 00:09:33,093 It's not cheese, Fiona. It's cashew. 257 00:09:33,128 --> 00:09:34,550 - Right. - It's not cheese. 258 00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:35,534 Well, we're not... 259 00:09:35,563 --> 00:09:37,442 it's funny that, you know, we're arguing 260 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,859 except we're in agreement. 261 00:09:39,058 --> 00:09:40,967 But that's the yin and the yang of it 262 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,646 that's so fascinating to me. 263 00:09:42,653 --> 00:09:44,948 Let's argue about something we agree on. 264 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,661 I love that exercise. 265 00:09:46,699 --> 00:09:48,554 You've illuminated wisdom in me 266 00:09:48,571 --> 00:09:50,750 that I didn't know I possess, so I thank you for that. 267 00:09:50,773 --> 00:09:51,775 Oh, like what? 268 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,780 I'd like to put it on my site. 269 00:09:53,808 --> 00:09:54,861 Oh, absolutely. 270 00:09:54,866 --> 00:09:56,697 It will drive you a lot of traffic. 271 00:09:56,739 --> 00:09:59,162 - You'd be surprised. - I'm not at all surprised. 272 00:09:59,190 --> 00:10:01,202 I've seen the work that you do. 273 00:10:01,251 --> 00:10:03,418 - Real work. Real work. - It's astonishing. 274 00:10:03,453 --> 00:10:04,327 And you don't stop. 275 00:10:04,362 --> 00:10:06,469 I mean, I see even into the evening, 276 00:10:06,499 --> 00:10:07,933 you had all of those, 277 00:10:08,053 --> 00:10:11,006 you know, very handsome, live, 278 00:10:11,509 --> 00:10:14,144 sexy men going into your 279 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,228 gentle circle, 280 00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:17,878 you know, and then... but, 281 00:10:17,925 --> 00:10:20,073 you know, the only disappointment was then 282 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,116 you had all of them and I had the 283 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:24,905 unfortunate, overweight single women... 284 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,332 [Laughs] That I got to work with. 285 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,144 And it would have been nice just to have a sampling, you know. 286 00:10:30,264 --> 00:10:33,138 Perhaps there was just less interest to go to your tent. 287 00:10:33,149 --> 00:10:35,052 I can't, you know, be held accountable. 288 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,167 Didn't seem like that was option. 289 00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:38,535 - [Laughs] I mean, it was... - Ah. 290 00:10:38,541 --> 00:10:40,370 You know, they were waiting in line. 291 00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:42,486 'Cause I'm, like, a fucking black widow 292 00:10:42,606 --> 00:10:45,735 who, like, draws the young, live men into my yurt? 293 00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:48,997 Well, yeah, I mean, your yurt has that bolt. 294 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,464 So they come in. Then you slide that bolt, 295 00:10:51,489 --> 00:10:53,929 and then I don't think they can come out. 296 00:10:53,982 --> 00:10:56,270 Or once they do come out, they're so exhausted, 297 00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:58,054 they go straight to their own yurt. 298 00:10:58,174 --> 00:10:58,880 Hmm. 299 00:10:58,904 --> 00:11:00,557 And they're never to be seen again. 300 00:11:00,590 --> 00:11:01,520 I mean, I didn't see... 301 00:11:01,538 --> 00:11:03,025 it would've been nice, that's all. 302 00:11:03,036 --> 00:11:04,886 You know, I mean, I was talking to that 303 00:11:05,006 --> 00:11:07,685 Baba Dass, that young man, 304 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:10,406 snake-hipped, with the long black... 305 00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,152 - Oh, yes, I know the one. - Yes. 306 00:11:12,185 --> 00:11:14,293 All right, well, he seemed very taken with me 307 00:11:14,304 --> 00:11:17,822 and interested in my work and what we could do together, 308 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,445 and then you just sort of 309 00:11:20,497 --> 00:11:22,306 took him, you know? 310 00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:24,700 Remember that? I was talking with him. 311 00:11:24,753 --> 00:11:26,205 - Baba Dass? - He came to my tent. 312 00:11:26,234 --> 00:11:27,727 We always do an evening meditation together. 313 00:11:27,756 --> 00:11:28,914 - Oh. - And he said, 314 00:11:29,517 --> 00:11:31,402 "thank you for 315 00:11:31,674 --> 00:11:34,808 getting me out of the clutches of that cougar." 316 00:11:35,545 --> 00:11:37,501 - So... - Cougar? 317 00:11:37,758 --> 00:11:41,082 Oh, so is that my sort of animal, my spirit? 318 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:42,429 Apparently. 319 00:11:42,470 --> 00:11:44,302 Well, that's complimentary. 320 00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:47,614 [Giggles] And he was afraid of me. Well, 321 00:11:47,734 --> 00:11:49,774 okay. I'm a gentle cougar. 322 00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,472 You can let him know for next time, 323 00:11:51,484 --> 00:11:52,742 if he's allowed. 324 00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:54,381 - If he's allowed? - Well, I don't know. 325 00:11:54,405 --> 00:11:55,523 Maybe you're the one who shouldn't be allowed. 326 00:11:55,547 --> 00:11:56,881 Well, it seems like it's up to you 327 00:11:56,893 --> 00:12:00,054 whether a man is allowed to be with anyone but you. 328 00:12:00,112 --> 00:12:03,572 Yes, you're like the queen bee who services all the drones, 329 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:06,025 and then woe be it to them 330 00:12:06,043 --> 00:12:07,957 if they want to leave the honeycomb 331 00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:10,711 and find, you know, another flower 332 00:12:10,747 --> 00:12:12,394 that might be a little different. 333 00:12:12,415 --> 00:12:14,465 What the fuck is wrong with you? 334 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,836 This is not free species of 335 00:12:16,894 --> 00:12:20,026 loving individuals. We are sexual beings, 336 00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:22,111 and if people want to go into their own tents 337 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,727 or my tent or my yurt, so be it. 338 00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:25,857 Oh, no, that's fine. 339 00:12:25,869 --> 00:12:28,645 Whatever your logic needs to be, that's fine. 340 00:12:28,650 --> 00:12:31,424 It was funny 'cause I was talking with Barbara. 341 00:12:31,434 --> 00:12:32,601 We were sitting together, 342 00:12:32,602 --> 00:12:34,434 - having the lentils and the yogurt... - Oh, were you? 343 00:12:34,448 --> 00:12:35,183 Mm-hmm. 344 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:38,561 And we were just both noticing... 345 00:12:38,755 --> 00:12:42,038 both of us were noticing sort of the 346 00:12:42,097 --> 00:12:45,147 predatory nature of your sexuality, 347 00:12:45,194 --> 00:12:49,117 how your gentle circle is more like a whirlpool that sucks people 348 00:12:49,122 --> 00:12:51,025 in never to be seen again. 349 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,063 - And she was a little concerned - Listen. 350 00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,267 - after I brought it to her attention. - Let me tell you something about Barbara, okay? 351 00:12:55,271 --> 00:12:57,718 - Okay. - She can take her dried-up old cunt, 352 00:12:57,838 --> 00:12:58,872 sew it up, 353 00:12:58,992 --> 00:12:59,977 throw it out. 354 00:12:59,978 --> 00:13:03,209 You know, I think we're getting into one of those things where peers, 355 00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:05,844 which I think I'm safe to say we are now, 356 00:13:05,964 --> 00:13:07,670 you know, on the same level... 357 00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:09,362 I would've said that 358 00:13:09,532 --> 00:13:11,522 a half an hour ago. I'm not sure now 359 00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:15,549 with your incredibly judgmental, puritanical views on 360 00:13:15,789 --> 00:13:17,294 the female form and... 361 00:13:17,346 --> 00:13:19,360 well, yes, I mean, I didn't just, you know, 362 00:13:19,372 --> 00:13:22,106 declare that someone should sew up their uterus 363 00:13:22,152 --> 00:13:23,651 and cast it out. 364 00:13:24,821 --> 00:13:26,596 You know, it's... that's sort of 365 00:13:26,623 --> 00:13:28,041 what adolescents do. 366 00:13:28,050 --> 00:13:29,657 If you had any idea 367 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:32,577 about her uterus or her vagina, 368 00:13:32,629 --> 00:13:35,953 you would understand the deeper level of 369 00:13:36,538 --> 00:13:39,083 empathy that I have when I say that, 370 00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:41,743 but you are... have a closed off Western mind, 371 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,115 so I don't... 372 00:13:43,235 --> 00:13:45,723 All right, so you know her vagina better than I do. 373 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:46,903 - Oh, I do. - You win. 374 00:13:46,921 --> 00:13:48,046 - You know what? - Hmm? 375 00:13:48,074 --> 00:13:49,275 I don't think I'm gonna give you 376 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,109 one red cent for this weekend. 377 00:13:51,128 --> 00:13:51,667 Oh. 378 00:13:51,704 --> 00:13:53,359 I'm gonna take your $30,000, 379 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,566 and I'm gonna buy myself a Rolex with it 380 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,652 and see what the fuck you're gonna do about it! 381 00:13:57,687 --> 00:13:58,811 Oh, you want to see 382 00:13:58,848 --> 00:14:00,721 what the fuck I'm going to do about it? 383 00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:02,690 All right, my husband, the judge, 384 00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:05,693 knows a lot of lawyers, which makes sense, 385 00:14:05,695 --> 00:14:08,193 and I'm going to have them come after you. 386 00:14:08,198 --> 00:14:09,937 - How do you like that? - Go ahead. 387 00:14:09,966 --> 00:14:13,882 I'll cite you for all kinds of flagrant violations 388 00:14:13,883 --> 00:14:15,896 that everyone on my team witnessed, 389 00:14:15,925 --> 00:14:17,505 including sexual harassment... 390 00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:18,972 - Sexual harassment? - Including... 391 00:14:18,987 --> 00:14:20,707 You're the madame of the brothel of one. 392 00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:23,177 Including bulimia behind the barn. 393 00:14:23,183 --> 00:14:24,594 No, that wasn't bulimia. 394 00:14:24,617 --> 00:14:25,895 That's food poisoning 395 00:14:25,905 --> 00:14:27,813 from the poison you serve everybody, 396 00:14:27,835 --> 00:14:30,351 with, "oh, it's not cheese. It's not really meat. 397 00:14:30,386 --> 00:14:32,051 "It's just soy curd 398 00:14:32,063 --> 00:14:34,772 that's been sitting out for a tremendously long time. 399 00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,733 Oh, no, it's yogurt. It's better." 400 00:14:36,762 --> 00:14:38,192 No, you can't. 401 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,361 We don't serve yogurt, God damn it! 402 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,113 Yogurt is not vegan! 403 00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,957 Okay, then it was curdled God-knows-what. 404 00:14:44,986 --> 00:14:47,568 For all I know, you serve dried up uteruses 405 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,083 cut up and... I don't know. 406 00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:51,349 That's awful. No, let me take that back. 407 00:14:51,366 --> 00:14:52,174 That's unkind. 408 00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:53,673 Why don't you not take that back? 409 00:14:53,690 --> 00:14:54,872 And why don't I see you in court? 410 00:14:54,896 --> 00:14:56,171 I'm not... I'm not paying you. 411 00:14:56,172 --> 00:14:57,745 I'm not giving you anything. 412 00:14:57,934 --> 00:14:59,210 Don't try to fuck with me. 413 00:14:59,222 --> 00:15:01,638 Do not fuck with Debbie Schnittman! 414 00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,420 _ 415 00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:06,990 - Jerome. - Yeah. 416 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:07,821 I don't know what to do. 417 00:15:07,832 --> 00:15:10,724 I keep getting these ridiculous bills... 418 00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:13,176 - Yeah, New York. - From the building in New York. 419 00:15:13,189 --> 00:15:14,880 Yes, it's over... 420 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:17,602 this time, it's $20,000 this month. 421 00:15:17,672 --> 00:15:18,784 - Crazy. - I know. 422 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,376 And I... and I meant for you not to have to see those. 423 00:15:20,394 --> 00:15:21,734 No, but what doesn't make sense 424 00:15:21,771 --> 00:15:23,174 is that I shouldn't have any 425 00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,925 because Austen bought the penthouse for me 426 00:15:25,942 --> 00:15:27,441 and put it in my... it's mine. 427 00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:29,578 - He did. It is. - So I don't owe anything on it. 428 00:15:29,619 --> 00:15:30,911 The only problem is, 429 00:15:30,947 --> 00:15:33,413 you have to pay the Homeowners Association dues... 430 00:15:33,429 --> 00:15:35,915 - Oh. - The property taxes. 431 00:15:35,940 --> 00:15:37,591 - Oh. - You have to pay maintenance. 432 00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:39,944 That's $20,000 a month? 433 00:15:39,956 --> 00:15:41,548 - And more? - One of those is, yes. 434 00:15:41,591 --> 00:15:43,624 You'll get charges monthly, and I can... 435 00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:46,109 I can arrange a way for that to be automatically debited 436 00:15:46,138 --> 00:15:47,121 from your account if you want. 437 00:15:47,145 --> 00:15:48,963 No, it absolutely cannot be automatically debited. 438 00:15:48,983 --> 00:15:50,715 Well, right, 'cause I saw your account, 439 00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:55,436 and, um, the Web Therapy account doesn't have enough in it 440 00:15:55,471 --> 00:15:57,805 to have that kind of tap. 441 00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,607 Yes, I know. 442 00:15:59,642 --> 00:16:02,810 No matter how slowly or deliberately... 443 00:16:02,812 --> 00:16:04,190 - Yeah. - You say it... 444 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,561 - You get it. - It's something I understand. 445 00:16:06,578 --> 00:16:08,141 I'm glad, good, so you get it 446 00:16:08,151 --> 00:16:10,003 because I was looking through your P&L. 447 00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:11,765 - You don't really have... - I don't know what that means. 448 00:16:11,812 --> 00:16:13,035 Well, profit and loss, 449 00:16:13,053 --> 00:16:14,488 and you have a lot more of the latter 450 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,476 than you do of the former, and so I... 451 00:16:15,494 --> 00:16:16,512 Well, I would've had more money, 452 00:16:16,530 --> 00:16:18,743 but one of my major investors 453 00:16:18,795 --> 00:16:22,663 had their stupid investment advisors... 454 00:16:22,998 --> 00:16:26,036 - Ha, of all the luck. - Devalue my... my business. 455 00:16:26,095 --> 00:16:30,544 - All right, that was such... - $250,000 turned into $25,000. 456 00:16:30,585 --> 00:16:31,480 - Right, and it... - All right? 457 00:16:31,507 --> 00:16:32,874 And they said that was generous. 458 00:16:32,994 --> 00:16:34,460 - So we have to sort of... - Well, they're wrong. 459 00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:36,626 Reallocate to make that New York apartment work. 460 00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:39,218 - Well, I don't... I don't know... - How to do that. 461 00:16:39,338 --> 00:16:42,015 Other than... I don't know... you just bought two Teslas. 462 00:16:42,027 --> 00:16:43,777 - You know, you can certainly afford... - I did. 463 00:16:43,848 --> 00:16:46,736 - To pay the taxes on that. - Oh, if only. 464 00:16:46,779 --> 00:16:48,276 That's, you know, neighbors helping neighbors. 465 00:16:48,288 --> 00:16:50,249 That's the kind of neighborhood you moved into. 466 00:16:50,284 --> 00:16:51,332 100%. 467 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,158 You know, all the times that I've helped... 468 00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:54,733 - Yeah, I get that. - People. 469 00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:56,331 And believe me, would that I could. 470 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,032 - Would that I could. - Why can't you? 471 00:16:58,034 --> 00:16:59,755 Well, because all of our expenses 472 00:16:59,773 --> 00:17:02,582 have to be child-care related, and we have to... 473 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,010 So the teslas are for the child? 474 00:17:04,016 --> 00:17:06,603 Teslas are... all have baby seats in the back, 475 00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:08,376 and we got to get the baby around, so... 476 00:17:08,378 --> 00:17:10,783 Right, well, so a Kia has baby seats in the back. 477 00:17:10,806 --> 00:17:12,639 Sure. I should send you the... 478 00:17:12,759 --> 00:17:14,283 you should see a picture of the Tesla... 479 00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,467 - Mm-hmm. - The interior and the exterior. 480 00:17:16,519 --> 00:17:17,862 - Right. - There's a giant screen... 481 00:17:17,866 --> 00:17:18,935 - You know what? - Yeah. 482 00:17:18,961 --> 00:17:20,771 This is my problem, not your problem. 483 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,491 You've got a little boy to raise 484 00:17:22,525 --> 00:17:24,275 and two women to juggle, so... 485 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:25,716 Ah, that's... that's right. 486 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,802 Juggle is right. I mean... 487 00:17:26,816 --> 00:17:28,169 - You know what I was thinking? - Mm-hmm. 488 00:17:28,188 --> 00:17:30,648 That New York is really lovely this time of year, 489 00:17:30,656 --> 00:17:33,451 and if you'd like, I'm happy to offer 490 00:17:33,728 --> 00:17:36,036 a stay in my penthouse, you know, 'cause it's... 491 00:17:36,072 --> 00:17:38,739 I think little Angus would have a lot of fun there. 492 00:17:38,741 --> 00:17:40,028 - You know... - There's... I think... 493 00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:41,765 - I hear there's a zoo. - Oh, there is a zoo. 494 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,624 - There's a... - There's a zoo. 495 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,207 - There's a museum. - There's a museum. 496 00:17:45,267 --> 00:17:47,815 - Sure, absolutely, and... - Or two, and... 497 00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:48,883 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know? 498 00:17:48,892 --> 00:17:50,568 And Central Park is fantastic. Well, that's... 499 00:17:50,578 --> 00:17:51,919 Yes, and Coney Island, 500 00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,207 the famous burgers and fries. 501 00:17:54,223 --> 00:17:56,638 - Nathan's famous hotdogs... - And maybe that... 502 00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,308 ... which is a choking hazard and... 503 00:17:58,342 --> 00:17:59,901 Oh, then don't take him there. 504 00:17:59,929 --> 00:18:01,262 - Why would you go there, Jerome? - His teeth all... 505 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,904 But I would love to go to New York. 506 00:18:02,941 --> 00:18:04,613 - That's such a great offer. - Yeah, so feel free. 507 00:18:04,627 --> 00:18:06,303 - Thank you. Sure. - Stay at my penthouse. 508 00:18:06,326 --> 00:18:08,234 It's really... you've been there. How lovely it is. 509 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,652 Has it all been baby-proofed? 510 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,146 'Cause I'd love to put bumpers 511 00:18:11,155 --> 00:18:12,485 around all the furniture if that's okay. 512 00:18:12,489 --> 00:18:14,063 - Yes, of course, you can. - Oh, thank you. 513 00:18:14,077 --> 00:18:15,276 - Thank you. - Yeah, you can do that. 514 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:16,826 - I'll have someone do that. - You can do that, yeah. 515 00:18:16,844 --> 00:18:18,497 - Well, thank you, thank you. - And enjoy yourself. 516 00:18:18,502 --> 00:18:19,697 Thank you, Aunt Fiona. 517 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:20,942 - I'm trying... - Who? 518 00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,669 Aunt Fiona. I'm trying to teach... 519 00:18:22,693 --> 00:18:24,679 - Oh, no, don't teach him that. - Angus to call you Aunt Fiona. 520 00:18:24,721 --> 00:18:26,187 - No, 'cause I'm not... - So, thank you, Aunt Fiona. 521 00:18:26,201 --> 00:18:27,577 - No, no, no, that's confusing. - Ooh, shall I go get him? 522 00:18:27,582 --> 00:18:29,249 I'll get him, and he can thank you to your face. 523 00:18:29,273 --> 00:18:30,729 Oh, wouldn't that be fun? 524 00:18:30,753 --> 00:18:32,912 Yeah, yeah, you can see he's all gummy, and it's cute. 525 00:18:32,929 --> 00:18:34,677 - Yes, all right. - I would love that. 526 00:18:34,724 --> 00:18:35,927 - Yeah, why don't you do that? - Okay, I'll be right back. 527 00:18:35,951 --> 00:18:37,323 And I'll make sure my Internet's working. 528 00:18:37,332 --> 00:18:38,719 Oh, it's not. 529 00:18:39,717 --> 00:18:42,915 _ 530 00:18:45,617 --> 00:18:46,857 Sorry I'm late. 531 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:47,579 Oh. 532 00:18:48,656 --> 00:18:50,370 - Hi, mother. - Oh. 533 00:18:50,669 --> 00:18:51,742 Yes. 534 00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:53,647 - Hello. - Hello, darling. 535 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:56,130 Oh, you're busy drinking like that. 536 00:18:57,099 --> 00:18:59,216 - Huh. - Ah. 537 00:18:59,622 --> 00:19:01,267 Oh. So you're finished? 538 00:19:01,387 --> 00:19:02,700 I feel so cleansed. 539 00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,765 Oh, is that why you're dressed that way? 540 00:19:04,783 --> 00:19:06,961 - To cleanse the... - I am cleansing myself of Garreth. 541 00:19:06,996 --> 00:19:07,925 Oh. 542 00:19:07,989 --> 00:19:08,915 I cannot tell you 543 00:19:08,921 --> 00:19:10,490 how I suffered at his hand. 544 00:19:10,610 --> 00:19:11,966 Oh, really? 545 00:19:12,001 --> 00:19:13,467 He didn't seem the type. 546 00:19:13,503 --> 00:19:14,439 He seemed so nice. 547 00:19:14,477 --> 00:19:16,336 - What was wrong... - Oh, he liked you too much. 548 00:19:16,402 --> 00:19:17,888 I don't like that in a man. 549 00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:19,723 That's why I like Kip. 550 00:19:19,905 --> 00:19:22,654 Yeah, but I don't know where you are exactly. 551 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:25,063 - That... you just... - Ah. 552 00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,532 Put that out in... 553 00:19:26,972 --> 00:19:28,232 Then drank... 554 00:19:28,414 --> 00:19:30,450 It's part of the holy ablution. 555 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,890 Oh. Oh, I didn't realize. 556 00:19:33,189 --> 00:19:35,180 Was that... what is that drink exactly? 557 00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:37,255 - It's beer. - Beer. 558 00:19:38,763 --> 00:19:40,743 That's so spiritual. 559 00:19:40,781 --> 00:19:42,181 Where are you exactly? 560 00:19:42,198 --> 00:19:44,865 Darling, I'm in my new penthouse in Philly. 561 00:19:45,115 --> 00:19:47,311 No, I'm sorry. I didn't know that you had moved in. 562 00:19:47,323 --> 00:19:48,265 I would've brought you 563 00:19:48,294 --> 00:19:50,672 a housewarming gift or a plant or something 564 00:19:50,706 --> 00:19:51,836 for you to nurture. 565 00:19:51,956 --> 00:19:52,885 [Chimes ring] 566 00:19:52,908 --> 00:19:55,952 Kip's already done that. He brought me a beautiful candle. 567 00:19:56,005 --> 00:19:57,708 - Oh. - And a plant. 568 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,668 And... 569 00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:00,612 some good gunja. 570 00:20:00,647 --> 00:20:02,796 - Ok, so you see Kip? You saw Kip? - Ahh. 571 00:20:02,807 --> 00:20:05,237 Kip comes by, a lot of the time we... 572 00:20:05,248 --> 00:20:06,782 we dine, we drink, 573 00:20:06,812 --> 00:20:09,235 Sometimes we dress up in costumes. 574 00:20:09,265 --> 00:20:11,951 We blow off a couple of bowls of has. 575 00:20:11,998 --> 00:20:13,854 I am brimming with new ideas 576 00:20:13,883 --> 00:20:16,084 about how to get kip on the supreme court. 577 00:20:16,102 --> 00:20:17,419 Oh. Yes? 578 00:20:17,455 --> 00:20:19,011 If only one of those Pennsylvania 579 00:20:19,023 --> 00:20:22,014 supreme court justices would die or kick over 580 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,941 or fall ill or retire. 581 00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:26,615 - Oh. - [Sighs] 582 00:20:26,735 --> 00:20:28,131 Right, right. 583 00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,933 And then he could be appointed and... 584 00:20:29,998 --> 00:20:31,479 - Mm-hmm, he gave me a book... - Oh. 585 00:20:31,484 --> 00:20:33,422 That has been so satisfying. 586 00:20:33,451 --> 00:20:35,769 Let me just read you a few words from it. 587 00:20:35,816 --> 00:20:36,448 Okay. 588 00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:38,609 "Dream more. Learn more. 589 00:20:38,644 --> 00:20:40,927 Care more. Be more." 590 00:20:41,047 --> 00:20:44,304 Oh, what's that from? The Dalai Lama or something? 591 00:20:44,363 --> 00:20:45,943 Oh, no, no, the Dolly Parton. 592 00:20:46,063 --> 00:20:47,108 Ah. 593 00:20:47,518 --> 00:20:51,170 _ 594 00:20:54,137 --> 00:20:55,975 Oh, hello, Maya. 595 00:20:57,473 --> 00:20:59,762 I owe you an apology. 596 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,127 I'm mortified 597 00:21:02,175 --> 00:21:03,375 by my behavior 598 00:21:03,633 --> 00:21:06,729 in our last session. You are a wonderful, wise woman. 599 00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:09,257 It was antiwoman, what I said. It was... 600 00:21:09,731 --> 00:21:10,990 it was terrible. 601 00:21:11,031 --> 00:21:12,658 Right, the "C" word, yeah. 602 00:21:12,845 --> 00:21:14,478 - Oh, I... I didn't mean that. - Oh. 603 00:21:14,519 --> 00:21:16,458 I just meant when I was talking about you 604 00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:17,928 and the men and the tent and anything. 605 00:21:17,942 --> 00:21:20,484 Anyway, I... I am very, very sorry. 606 00:21:20,498 --> 00:21:23,701 You've been nothing but helpful and beautiful and wise, 607 00:21:23,743 --> 00:21:24,746 and you've helped me a lot. 608 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,172 And I did not return the favor. 609 00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:29,630 And I wired your money for the last 610 00:21:30,127 --> 00:21:31,115 retreat, by the way. 611 00:21:31,129 --> 00:21:32,656 - You should've gotten it. - Oh, you did? 612 00:21:32,694 --> 00:21:33,766 - I did. - Oh, okay. 613 00:21:33,789 --> 00:21:35,105 - I did. - I didn't check. 614 00:21:35,143 --> 00:21:38,870 Yes, it's wired, and I apologize again for my... 615 00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:40,364 Transgression. 616 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:42,429 Yes, and I was quite hotheaded. 617 00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:43,014 Right. 618 00:21:43,047 --> 00:21:45,276 And part of this process has been about me 619 00:21:45,396 --> 00:21:48,282 coming to terms with my humanity, my flaws. 620 00:21:48,942 --> 00:21:50,708 And I wanted to tell you something 621 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,510 very, very important 622 00:21:52,630 --> 00:21:54,758 that you have helped me with. 623 00:21:56,430 --> 00:21:58,584 I am a woman who feels anger. 624 00:21:58,847 --> 00:21:59,765 There. 625 00:22:00,678 --> 00:22:01,502 I said it. 626 00:22:01,511 --> 00:22:02,645 - Bravo. - And I... I... 627 00:22:02,677 --> 00:22:04,139 since I've been able to 628 00:22:04,186 --> 00:22:05,839 express that, I feel 629 00:22:06,041 --> 00:22:08,569 much better. I just, um... [clears throat] 630 00:22:08,944 --> 00:22:11,052 I ran out of the pills that you... 631 00:22:11,810 --> 00:22:13,262 that you gave me, and I... 632 00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:15,233 - Oh. - I'm a bit, you know... 633 00:22:15,266 --> 00:22:17,940 I... I've been able to come to terms with my anger 634 00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:20,127 because I've been feeling it so much 635 00:22:20,202 --> 00:22:21,476 - since I... - Right, that would happen. 636 00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:22,651 Those pills, they calm you down, 637 00:22:22,679 --> 00:22:24,557 and let the anger, uh, 638 00:22:25,161 --> 00:22:27,030 you know, surface to get released. 639 00:22:27,150 --> 00:22:29,119 You know, I've been in a health food store. 640 00:22:29,300 --> 00:22:31,137 I went to the natural pharmacy. 641 00:22:31,151 --> 00:22:33,146 I mean, I've just... I've taken everything 642 00:22:33,165 --> 00:22:35,718 that resembles it, and I'm really not getting the same 643 00:22:35,914 --> 00:22:37,327 - result. - Right. 644 00:22:37,328 --> 00:22:38,189 Where... what... 645 00:22:38,213 --> 00:22:40,026 - I just was wondering... - These are more potent, 646 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,464 and they're my special... 647 00:22:41,539 --> 00:22:43,421 I'll have to get you some more 648 00:22:43,541 --> 00:22:44,091 - then... - Okay. 649 00:22:44,105 --> 00:22:46,713 Because I understand tranquility is addictive. 650 00:22:46,768 --> 00:22:47,645 It is. 651 00:22:47,765 --> 00:22:49,491 This is not why I called you, by the way. 652 00:22:49,505 --> 00:22:51,008 I called to 653 00:22:51,401 --> 00:22:54,108 be accountable for my bad behavior. 654 00:22:54,272 --> 00:22:56,164 - I appreciate that. - But I really need those pills. 655 00:22:56,183 --> 00:22:57,752 - I really do. - Well, let's see. 656 00:22:57,775 --> 00:22:59,274 If I get you those pills... 657 00:22:59,306 --> 00:23:01,138 I can get them for you very easily... 658 00:23:01,175 --> 00:23:03,067 then I need to be invited back 659 00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:04,378 - to the next retreat - Yes! 660 00:23:04,411 --> 00:23:06,270 with Sonia Sotomayor... 661 00:23:06,308 --> 00:23:08,555 And, you know, break naan with her or... 662 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:09,783 - Yes. - Yeah, okay. 663 00:23:09,835 --> 00:23:11,553 Yes. No, naan we don't do. 664 00:23:11,577 --> 00:23:15,646 Naan has ghee in it, and ghee is from a cow. 665 00:23:15,665 --> 00:23:16,368 Oh. 666 00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:19,970 Uh, but popadam, yes. 667 00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:21,941 Okay, that's what I meant. 668 00:23:21,979 --> 00:23:24,719 How about... how... may I propose something? 669 00:23:24,723 --> 00:23:25,651 Yes, of course. 670 00:23:25,679 --> 00:23:28,239 - If you give me the pills... - Mm-hmm. 671 00:23:28,245 --> 00:23:32,089 Not 30 like the last time, but maybe 90 or 120... 672 00:23:32,347 --> 00:23:33,564 Okay. 673 00:23:33,684 --> 00:23:36,190 And then every time you come and do a 674 00:23:36,884 --> 00:23:37,656 talk... 675 00:23:37,776 --> 00:23:40,395 Oh, yes, of course, certainly, I'll bring them. 676 00:23:40,409 --> 00:23:42,915 - You've got a deal. - And you've got a deal. 677 00:23:43,215 --> 00:23:45,997 Um, anyway, Baba, Baba Dass... 678 00:23:46,076 --> 00:23:47,982 - Yes. - He has expressed interest. 679 00:23:48,010 --> 00:23:49,481 He asked me if you were coming back. 680 00:23:49,490 --> 00:23:51,372 Oh, I thought I felt something with him. 681 00:23:51,419 --> 00:23:54,294 Ah, you did, and he does such a wonderful... 682 00:23:54,414 --> 00:23:56,453 I don't know if I told you what he does. 683 00:23:56,804 --> 00:23:58,560 Oh, no, I didn't know he did anything 684 00:23:58,593 --> 00:24:00,073 except looked handsome. - Yes. 685 00:24:00,193 --> 00:24:01,164 - No, he's... - Oh. 686 00:24:01,188 --> 00:24:02,878 The reason that I bolt the door 687 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,324 when he comes into my tent is, he is a yoni healer. 688 00:24:07,050 --> 00:24:08,296 What does that mean? 689 00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:09,443 I don't know what that is. 690 00:24:09,563 --> 00:24:10,539 - "Yoni." - A yoni is 691 00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:13,181 the ancient Sanskrit word for a vagina. 692 00:24:13,301 --> 00:24:14,534 - Oh. - And he 693 00:24:14,654 --> 00:24:17,821 is quite literally a sexual healer, 694 00:24:17,941 --> 00:24:19,694 in the words of Marvin Gaye. 695 00:24:19,814 --> 00:24:23,472 And he will change your relationship to your femininity. 696 00:24:23,632 --> 00:24:24,353 You'll see. 697 00:24:24,404 --> 00:24:25,997 - Well, oh. - Incredible, incredible. 698 00:24:26,029 --> 00:24:27,841 Oh, has he expressed interest in me? 699 00:24:27,897 --> 00:24:29,841 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 700 00:24:29,864 --> 00:24:32,795 I mean, I said, "may I treat my 701 00:24:33,273 --> 00:24:36,864 princess, queen, friend to a treatment 702 00:24:36,915 --> 00:24:39,644 at my expense?" 703 00:24:39,764 --> 00:24:41,642 And he said, yes, of course, he would love to. 704 00:24:41,656 --> 00:24:45,433 Oh, okay, for no... no fee at all, probably. 705 00:24:45,453 --> 00:24:46,552 - [Laughing] - Oh, 706 00:24:46,604 --> 00:24:48,030 I mean, he... 707 00:24:48,076 --> 00:24:49,660 - I have to pay him. - Oh. 708 00:24:49,702 --> 00:24:51,060 But he's gonna do it. 709 00:24:51,107 --> 00:24:52,066 That's a yes. 710 00:24:52,186 --> 00:24:53,105 - Okay. - It's a yes. 711 00:24:53,106 --> 00:24:53,992 It's a yes. 712 00:24:54,296 --> 00:24:55,457 He would like to. 713 00:24:55,471 --> 00:24:56,722 - Okay, good. - Okay, so we have a deal. 714 00:24:56,754 --> 00:24:58,094 - [Chuckles] - We have a deal. 715 00:24:58,108 --> 00:24:59,596 I just... I... it's... 716 00:24:59,610 --> 00:25:01,132 I don't want to say it's an emergency, 717 00:25:01,137 --> 00:25:03,328 because my faculties and my capabilities, 718 00:25:03,347 --> 00:25:05,585 in terms of being able to calm my own nervous system 719 00:25:05,613 --> 00:25:07,519 with my meditation and all my tools, 720 00:25:07,639 --> 00:25:08,970 is paramount. 721 00:25:08,989 --> 00:25:10,169 I mean, I am the master 722 00:25:10,188 --> 00:25:11,565 of my own mind, body, heart, 723 00:25:11,579 --> 00:25:13,111 - soul, yoni, everything. - Right. 724 00:25:13,153 --> 00:25:16,736 Oh, okay, it's a wonder you need them at all. 725 00:25:16,751 --> 00:25:17,770 - Okay. - But tonight, 726 00:25:17,789 --> 00:25:19,746 I'm seeing my ex-sister-in-law, 727 00:25:19,784 --> 00:25:21,586 and she is a real... 728 00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:23,815 [Inhales sharply] 729 00:25:24,152 --> 00:25:26,030 Difficult lady. 730 00:25:26,081 --> 00:25:28,123 - I'm not gonna give in to my... - Oh. 731 00:25:28,371 --> 00:25:29,617 She's a fucking bitch. 732 00:25:29,641 --> 00:25:31,781 Okay, someone else who needs to be sewn up. 733 00:25:31,785 --> 00:25:32,792 - A fucking... - Okay. 734 00:25:32,853 --> 00:25:33,949 Yes. I just... 735 00:25:33,977 --> 00:25:36,239 I... now that I've reached this higher state 736 00:25:36,253 --> 00:25:38,861 of tranquility, I just need the pills to just... 737 00:25:38,906 --> 00:25:40,294 - You know what I mean? - Yes. 738 00:25:40,317 --> 00:25:42,111 I just need the help to get to the next level. 739 00:25:42,121 --> 00:25:44,696 No, I understand. Okay, I can get those for you. 740 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:45,412 When? 741 00:25:45,787 --> 00:25:47,520 As soon as possible. 742 00:25:47,543 --> 00:25:49,183 - Which is when? - Day after 743 00:25:49,239 --> 00:25:50,302 - tomorrow... - No. 744 00:25:50,522 --> 00:25:52,118 Today, please, Fiona, honestly. 745 00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:53,640 - Later today? - Later today. 746 00:25:53,659 --> 00:25:54,882 - All right, let me try. - I'll send someone. 747 00:25:54,915 --> 00:25:55,959 I'll send Baba Dass over. 748 00:25:55,987 --> 00:25:57,672 Baba Dass? That could work. 749 00:25:57,687 --> 00:25:58,680 - Yes. - I'll get them. 750 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,366 I... I appreciate you so much. 751 00:26:00,404 --> 00:26:02,895 I appreciate you too, I guess, ultimately. 752 00:26:02,924 --> 00:26:03,649 - Thank you. - Yeah. 753 00:26:03,654 --> 00:26:05,064 May we... may we end with a prayer maybe? 754 00:26:05,087 --> 00:26:06,529 Absolutely. 755 00:26:09,737 --> 00:26:11,558 - Are your eyes closed? - Mm-hmm. 756 00:26:12,890 --> 00:26:16,086 [Inhales and exhales sharply] 757 00:26:16,611 --> 00:26:17,889 Divine mother, 758 00:26:19,266 --> 00:26:21,987 we are two beautiful souls 759 00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:24,483 together under your luminous tu... 760 00:26:26,170 --> 00:26:27,228 - Jerome? - Yeah. 761 00:26:27,242 --> 00:26:29,546 I need more valium. I need three refills. 762 00:26:29,569 --> 00:26:31,677 - No, I need four refills... - Four? Okay. 763 00:26:31,700 --> 00:26:33,662 - As soon as possible. - Okay, but when would... 764 00:26:33,671 --> 00:26:35,829 [jazz music] 765 00:26:36,284 --> 00:26:38,270 ♪ ♪ 766 00:26:38,803 --> 00:26:41,766 That wasn't bulimia. That was real food poisoning. 767 00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:42,934 [Chuckling] 768 00:26:42,985 --> 00:26:44,886 You can't say, "oh, it's safe 769 00:26:44,905 --> 00:26:47,133 'cause it's not cheese," okay? 770 00:26:47,199 --> 00:26:50,117 Cashews go bad, too, if they sit in the sun 771 00:26:50,398 --> 00:26:52,560 and in their own oil. 772 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,238 [Laughter] 773 00:26:57,351 --> 00:26:59,272 ♪ ♪ 774 00:26:59,323 --> 00:27:01,150 And why don't I see you in court? 775 00:27:02,204 --> 00:27:04,507 Don't you fuck with Debbie Schnittman, okay? 776 00:27:04,554 --> 00:27:05,982 I won't. Who is that? 777 00:27:06,352 --> 00:27:08,914 [Laughter] 778 00:27:09,530 --> 00:27:11,649 ♪ ♪ 779 00:27:11,682 --> 00:27:14,192 - Okay. - She can take her dried-up old cunt, 780 00:27:14,243 --> 00:27:16,753 sew it up, throw it out. 781 00:27:17,622 --> 00:27:21,140 [Laughter] 782 00:27:22,376 --> 00:27:23,210 Say that again. 783 00:27:23,271 --> 00:27:25,303 [Laughter] 784 00:27:26,211 --> 00:27:31,666 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 57388

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