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1
00:00:48,681 --> 00:00:50,784
Hey, Harry, wash
the champagne glasses good.
2
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,261
They've been
in the back room
a long time.
3
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:53,420
- Yeah.
- That's right.
4
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,360
The last time we had
anything good to celebrate
5
00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:57,157
was when Nixon got in.
6
00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:59,125
Better wash them twice.
7
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,261
Hey there,
Mr. Big Liberal,
8
00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:03,930
don't be knocking
Richard E. Nixon.
9
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:05,030
Huh?
10
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:06,366
He's here in New York now
11
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,401
and he's gonna be
your next governor.
12
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:10,236
- Hey.
- Hey.
13
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:11,671
Hey, Harry, would you hurry up?
14
00:01:11,771 --> 00:01:13,306
Veronica's gonna come out
any second
15
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,707
and spoil the surprise.
16
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,443
Yeah, but what
are you doing here?
17
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,678
I'm putting candles
on Veronica's cake.
18
00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:20,447
If you put on a candle
19
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,648
for every year of her life,
20
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,750
you're gonna set off
the smoke alarm.
21
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:26,686
How old is she anyhow?
22
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:28,755
Well, she ain't as old as you.
23
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,690
Well, she ain't
as old as you neither.
24
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,068
All I'm trying
to say is that women
25
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,927
get old young, you know?
26
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:36,096
I mean, uh, you never hear
of a woman who's 60
27
00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:37,530
become a mother,
28
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,766
but guys can become
a father at 70, 80, 90.
29
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,186
I've read in the paper
one old guy
30
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,103
become a father
a hundred and twenty-six.
31
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,038
- Ah.
- Where did you see that?
32
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,006
I read that
in the "National Enquirer."
33
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,275
- Oh, that...
- Yes. Yes.
34
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,978
The only paper nowadays
you could rely on.
35
00:01:52,078 --> 00:01:53,246
This guy is a farmer,
36
00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:55,315
see, down in Kansas.
37
00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:57,550
And one of them
unidentifiable flying objects
38
00:01:57,650 --> 00:02:00,320
landed in the middle
of one of his fields there.
39
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,654
And the co-pilot got out,
40
00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:03,032
and then gave him
a bottle of something
41
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,692
to, you know, rejuvenate him.
42
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,393
Something to eat or drink?
43
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:09,362
- No.
- It said on the bottle,
44
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:11,364
"Rub on where needed,"
45
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,099
if you follow my meaning.
46
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:16,836
- Who sent the flowers?
- Who sent these flowers?
47
00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:19,339
- There's a note there.
- There is a note there.
48
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:21,374
Hey, hey, hey.
49
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,943
- Don't.
- Hey, hey.
50
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:25,845
People who don't
seal up their letters
51
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,580
got to take
their chances, right?
52
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,048
Read it.
53
00:02:32,685 --> 00:02:34,954
It broke my heart
when his honor,
54
00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:37,624
the judge split us apart,
55
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,359
but for all my life,
56
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:41,261
you'll always be my wife.
57
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:42,896
Happy birthday
58
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,331
and love sweetheart,
59
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:46,966
your Tiger.
60
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:48,601
Who the hell is a Tiger?
61
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:49,836
Well, whoever he is,
62
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,238
he ain't no
Henry "Woolworth" Longfellow.
63
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,241
I know who that is.
64
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,077
That's the ex-husband, Carmine.
65
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,113
- That's right.
- Oh, Carmine.
66
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,182
Ain't Carmine
the one that fired shots
67
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,385
at her underwear
on the clothesline?
68
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,387
No. No.
Carmine was tough,
69
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:08,955
but he wasn't depraved.
70
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:12,192
So, what is it Carmine done?
71
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:13,560
He shoved her out the window.
72
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,595
Ah.
73
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,096
Psst, here she comes.
74
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,374
- Here she comes.
- All right. Here she comes.
75
00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:19,838
Don't... shush, shush,
Murray, shush.
76
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:24,571
All:
♪ Happy birthday to you
77
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,440
♪ Happy birthday to you
78
00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:34,881
♪ Happy birthday to you
79
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,919
Hey, fellas, how'd you know?
80
00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:42,021
I think we could see it
in your eyes.
81
00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:44,290
Here's some flowers, Veronica.
82
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,059
- Oh, Murray.
- Yeah.
83
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,294
- You shouldn't have.
- Oh, it's nothing.
84
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,163
No, he didn't send you them.
85
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:51,598
Them's from your ex.
86
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:52,999
Carmine.
87
00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:54,934
What, you got another ex?
88
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:57,070
Yeah. I had Morris.
89
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,606
He died just before
I married Carmine.
90
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,642
Did Carmine
shove him out a window?
91
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:05,578
No.
92
00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:08,081
Morris ate a dozen oysters
93
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,449
and 11 was bad.
94
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:13,219
Well, that'll do it
as quick as any window.
95
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,626
Read it. It's short.
96
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,766
Yeah. That's Carmine,
all right.
97
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,902
Tell the truth, Veronica,
98
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,505
was Carmine really your tiger?
99
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:36,075
You read my note.
100
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:38,444
Ain't nothing sacred?
101
00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:40,413
No, I didn't.
Arch, read it.
102
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:42,282
Yeah. But Harry told me
it was there.
103
00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,822
Hey, Veronica,
let's see the flowers.
104
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:46,019
Yeah. Come on.
105
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,187
They are a dozen
106
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,556
long-stemmed roses.
107
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:51,791
Red ones.
108
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:54,794
Right on the nose.
109
00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:55,962
I told you.
110
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:58,698
Yeah. He must
still be sweet on you.
111
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,133
Carmine?
112
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,735
He sent these
because he's out of cash.
113
00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:04,437
Next the phone will ring
114
00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:07,240
with him asking me
to telegraph him a hundred.
115
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,011
Holy cow.
116
00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:14,914
Hello, Carmine?
117
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:19,152
It's for Jose.
118
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,287
What the hell
does Carmine want with Jose?
119
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:23,523
It's not Carmine.
120
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:25,124
It's a dame.
121
00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:26,826
I don't understand this.
122
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:27,927
Who is it?
123
00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:29,267
It sounds like Chiquita banana.
124
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,496
Oh, that's Delores.
125
00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:32,198
Hey,
126
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:34,233
I bet if Carmine called,
127
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,836
you would still send him
the hundred.
128
00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:38,805
Never again, Barney.
129
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,106
And I want you to know.
130
00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,442
It makes me feel good
not caring.
131
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,843
- Archie: Atta girl.
- Yeah.
132
00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:45,311
Pour me a bit
of the bubbly, Arch.
133
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:51,884
Hey, Veronica.
134
00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:53,820
Here's looking at you, kid.
135
00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:58,157
Who is that, Barney?
Henry Fonda?
136
00:05:58,257 --> 00:05:59,425
No.
137
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,294
Who the hell was it?
Cagney or who?
138
00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:03,129
- What?
- Oh, Archie.
139
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:05,765
Hey, I got to make a wish.
140
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:06,865
- Um...
- Okay. Head back,
141
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,534
- close your eyes.
- Okay.
142
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,906
You blew out my candles.
143
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:16,008
So, what?
I made the wish for you.
144
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,643
So, what did you wish?
145
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,312
I wish that you go
in the kitchen
146
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:21,114
and get ice cream
to go with the cake.
147
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,482
Well.
148
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,454
How the hell long
does it take you
149
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:29,655
to make a date?
150
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:32,191
I got to get
her brother to come.
151
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,360
You want her brother
on your date?
152
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,562
Well, he's got
the jumper cables.
153
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:39,599
See? These people,
they have a whole
154
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:40,933
other way of living.
155
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,170
Ah, jeez, whoever that is,
156
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,005
tell them we're closed up
for the night.
157
00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:47,282
What these people think we do?
158
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,509
Stay open 24 hours a day, huh?
159
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:50,710
Get out of here!
160
00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:54,046
Sorry, friend,
we're closed for the night.
161
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,147
I'm not a customer.
162
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:56,215
I'm looking for someone.
163
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:57,683
Uh-oh.
164
00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:00,286
If that's a process server,
165
00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:01,626
will you tell him Barney Hefner
166
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:02,989
went to Cincinnati.
167
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,290
And if it's from immigration,
168
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,859
tell him that Jose Perez
went back to Nicaragua.
169
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,963
Whoever you're looking for,
they went someplace else.
170
00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:12,799
I'm looking for Veronica Rooney.
171
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,702
Well, tell him
she ain't here neither.
172
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:19,572
Wait a minute, Arch,
we don't know who the man is.
173
00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:22,341
By any chance,
would you be Carmine?
174
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,442
Yeah,
175
00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:25,144
I'm Carmine.
176
00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:27,113
Hey, welcome.
177
00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:28,648
- How are you?
- Nice to see you.
178
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,716
- Yeah.
- She's in the kitchen.
179
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,418
Is that the Tiger?
180
00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:35,021
Oh, she read you my note.
181
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,222
Well, not exactly,
182
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,257
he read me your note.
183
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:41,093
Well, you left
your note open, Carmine.
184
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,428
She said you might call up,
185
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:45,331
but, uh, you wasn't expected
to show up.
186
00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:46,933
Well, I wanted to surprise her
187
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,434
- for her birthday.
- Yeah.
188
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,036
How old is she anyway?
189
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,804
She never told me.
190
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:54,707
This is a nice cozy place.
191
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,008
Yeah. We like it.
192
00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:58,711
I passed by here today. Busy.
193
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,180
You, uh, got to be paying
a cook pretty good, huh?
194
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:10,356
Top dollar.
195
00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:12,225
Are you Archie Bunker?
196
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,502
No, I'm Murray Klein,
his partner.
197
00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:16,662
Uh, I'm Archie Bunker
over here. Here.
198
00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:19,065
- Partners?
- Mm-hmm.
199
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,666
Enough for two, huh?
200
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:22,735
Yeah. All right.
201
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,538
Carmine, not to be
"inhospital," or nothin', uh,
202
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,306
but, um, uh,
203
00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:29,876
tell you the truth, you ain't
wanted around here, you know?
204
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,310
Everybody is scared of you.
205
00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:35,648
Has she been bad-mouthing me
around here, huh?
206
00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:37,650
All:
Yeah.
207
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,986
I bet she told you
I was a terrible heel.
208
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,488
Ah, she didn't say that.
209
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:43,828
Yeah.
But I think she would have
210
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,625
if the phone hadn't rung.
211
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,828
Hey. Give me a break, guys.
212
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:51,531
I just wanna wish her
a happy birthday.
213
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,799
- Okay.
- I'll tell her you're here.
214
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,101
Um, uh, Murray, Murray.
215
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,945
- Is this gonna be good for us?
- Will you...?
216
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:59,438
Murray, there's gonna be...
He never listens to me.
217
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,976
Uh, uh, Veronica,
Murray is coming in there
218
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:05,845
to tell you something.
219
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,513
It's gonna be a shock.
220
00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:16,222
Well, Veronica, brace yourself.
221
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,658
Your Tiger is out there purring.
222
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,059
I heard.
223
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:21,159
Oh.
224
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,795
Do you want me
to get rid of him?
225
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,063
No, Murray.
226
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:25,164
I'll get rid of him,
227
00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,166
the only way.
228
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:28,443
Now, don't upset him, you know,
229
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:30,836
any guy who pushes people
out the windows...
230
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,805
Murray, trust me.
231
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,942
I'll handle him with kid gloves.
232
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,076
Okay.
233
00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:45,418
Okay.
Carmine, you can go in.
234
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,653
Hey, I can't wait to see her.
235
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,889
Yeah, well, you ain't waiting.
236
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,389
Murray, listen,
is this good for us?
237
00:09:51,457 --> 00:09:52,992
- Are we gonna lose a cook?
- Oh, stop.
238
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,528
I don't think it's safe
letting him go in there.
239
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,296
That ain't
what I'm talking about.
240
00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:59,165
Will you two stop worrying?
241
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,567
Now, she told me
she's gonna handle him
242
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:02,667
with kid gloves.
243
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,341
That could be good for us.
244
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,442
Carmine:
Hey, hey, hey.
245
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:12,111
Veronica:
You rat! You...
246
00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:13,312
Two-timer!
247
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:18,160
She's handling the whole kitchen
248
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,186
with kid gloves.
249
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,686
Carmine:
Be careful with that knife.
250
00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:23,589
You could kill me
if you stab me in the heart.
251
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:24,924
Veronica:
What heart?
252
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:27,994
Can't you see
I'm not aiming at your heart?
253
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:32,732
Better take a look.
254
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,434
Look out.
255
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:41,273
And this is
for the blonde elevator girl
256
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,808
and for what happened
257
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:44,710
when she stopped
between the second
258
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,679
- and third floor.
- No, Veronica. No, don't.
259
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,014
Happy birthday, Veronica.
260
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:49,715
And this is just
261
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,717
for the fourth and fifth floors.
262
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,920
I can't control myself.
I'm a tiger.
263
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,823
This is for that time
in Rockaway Beach
264
00:10:57,923 --> 00:11:00,426
when I caught you
giving mouth to mouth
265
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:03,763
to that bimbo
in the blue bikini.
266
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,703
What was I supposed to do?
She was gonna drown.
267
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,568
Drown? How can you drown
268
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,370
under the board walk?
269
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:13,139
I thought the tide
was coming in.
270
00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:16,776
I think I'll hit you again.
271
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,244
Veronica, give me a break.
272
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,979
At least I wasn't a fag.
273
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,849
Don't you ever mention
274
00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:26,318
my first husband.
275
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,921
You ain't fit to wear his dress.
276
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,291
Hey, hey, Veronica.
277
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:33,526
Hey, baby.
278
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,762
Hey, don't be wrecking
279
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,098
my kitchen in there, huh?
280
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,167
That's genuine
Hong Kong delftware
281
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,511
you can't glue back
together again
282
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,737
you're breaking up in there.
283
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:45,905
Veronica:
Shut up.
284
00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:48,941
Let her alone.
285
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,976
Let her get him
out of her system.
286
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,813
But will she do that
for all our delftware?
287
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:57,083
You can always get
another set of delftware.
288
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,285
Besides, it sounds like
the storm is over.
289
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,188
Maybe she killed him.
290
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,756
Oh, come on.
291
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,768
Get out of here.
292
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:23,175
Hey, why are we
fighting like this?
293
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:24,777
We had some good times,
294
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:26,077
let's remember the last moment
295
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,179
we spent together.
296
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:28,481
I was asleep,
297
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,516
you run off with my paycheck.
298
00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,085
Oh, well, let's forget
the past, look ahead.
299
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:35,430
You stir me up
when you're angry,
300
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:36,722
you're like a wild amazon,
301
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,290
I wanna grab you,
hold you tight,
302
00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:39,992
stick my fingers
into your flesh,
303
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,861
bite your bare shoulders.
304
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,362
Oh.
305
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,164
Oregano.
306
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,032
Oh, come on. Stop it.
307
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,567
Stop it, don't say them things,
308
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:51,137
you know sick talk turns me on.
309
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,339
Let me chew the finger next,
310
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,608
press my lips against yours.
311
00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:59,779
- No, Carmine, not here.
- Not here.
312
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:02,181
The kitchen embarrasses me.
313
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,017
I'm Italian.
What's the matter
with the kitchen?
314
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,186
It's like the pots
are watching us.
315
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:12,024
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
316
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,293
Hey, hey.
317
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:17,096
What are they doing now?
318
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:20,466
They finally
put on the kid gloves.
319
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,902
Things are looking
pretty good for them, huh?
320
00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:26,639
Good for them.
321
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:29,175
But is this good for us?
322
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,931
I don't have to come here
for slow service.
323
00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:44,156
I can get that at home.
324
00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:45,357
Where's my omelet?
325
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:46,559
Take it easy, Hank.
326
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,160
Murray's calling Veronica,
327
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:49,962
she'll be back soon.
328
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:51,697
Lot of good that'll do me now.
329
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:55,634
Can't you relax out there,
huh, Hank?
330
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:57,469
Ain't you never heard
the old expression,
331
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,405
patience is a virgin?
332
00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:03,008
All I want is a lousy omelet.
333
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:04,910
You're getting it.
334
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,046
Jose: Here you go.
Lousy omelet.
335
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,283
She doesn't answer.
336
00:14:11,383 --> 00:14:12,994
I hate to say it, fellas,
but I think we're gonna have
337
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,620
to find another cook.
338
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,255
That ain't gonna be easy.
339
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,657
Except for me,
good help is hard to find.
340
00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:21,460
And I hate to admit it,
but I think he's right there.
341
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,863
You know, nowadays, half
the country is on welfare,
342
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:26,298
the other half is riding
the subways picking pockets.
343
00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:28,601
What's left
is running for president.
344
00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:32,137
Hey, Murray, do you really think
345
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:33,882
that Veronica would leave
without giving you
346
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:35,174
some kind of notice?
347
00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:36,442
Oh, yes.
348
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,410
If she's in love,
I'm afraid she would.
349
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,779
Well then, I'm not gonna
eat here anymore.
350
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:44,617
Jeez, Barney,
your loyalty is touching.
351
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,452
Hey, I'm a lodge buddy.
352
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,223
Don't be long, sweetheart.
353
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:53,392
Twenty minutes, tops.
354
00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:56,862
Get a load of Samson
and Delu-lu.
355
00:14:58,364 --> 00:14:59,732
Don't hate me, guys, for taking
356
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,467
this wonderful lady away.
357
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,210
Fellas, I got something
to tell you.
358
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:13,279
Carmine is taking me
to Atlantic City
359
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:15,915
for a wild, wonderful,
wicked week.
360
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:17,349
Uh, swell.
361
00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:19,718
You know, we're down
a lot of delftware
362
00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:21,020
over youse two...
363
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,389
Oh, Carmine's good for it.
364
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,357
Yeah. And now
youse are running off
365
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:26,625
to Atlantic City, huh?
366
00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:27,860
Well, what about us?
367
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,296
He only invited me.
368
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,699
You know, I hope for your sake,
369
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:36,468
he has reserved
a room with no windows.
370
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:40,306
Veronica,
who's gonna cook around here?
371
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:41,440
Yeah.
372
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,208
I'm not gonna have
any place to eat.
373
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:46,111
Barney, how old are you?
374
00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:47,212
Fifty.
375
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,848
You've eaten enough.
376
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,269
Veronica, I don't like to butt
into anybody's private life,
377
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,652
but I don't think
378
00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:55,154
you ought to go with that guy.
379
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,089
What?
380
00:15:57,189 --> 00:16:00,059
Go, be happy.
381
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:01,627
Boy, you got guts.
382
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,097
I knew you'd understand, Murray.
383
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:08,367
I tell you, last night
was so wonderful,
384
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,837
I heard soft music and bells.
385
00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:13,348
It sounds like
the two of them was in the back
386
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,441
of a Good Humor truck.
387
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:16,675
What?
388
00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,711
Nothing. Nothing.
389
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,846
- Jeez.
- You got guts, too.
390
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,415
Veronica,
391
00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:25,050
let me get this straight.
392
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,318
You're going away for a week,
393
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:27,729
and then you're gonna come
right back here
394
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:29,588
and work for us, right?
395
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:31,023
Wrong, Murray,
396
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,025
after Atlantic City,
we are driving
397
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,660
straight to Florida
398
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,328
and happy ever after.
399
00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:38,330
- With whose money?
- Carmine's.
400
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:41,767
He's gonna do what
he always promised himself
401
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:44,536
he was gonna do
ever since he was a kid.
402
00:16:44,636 --> 00:16:46,872
- What's that?
- Get a job.
403
00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:50,075
You mean,
404
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,945
you're saying goodbye
to us forever?
405
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:56,348
- That's it, Murray.
- Oh, Veronica.
406
00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:58,317
Oh, Murray, Murray,
407
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:00,719
I'm gonna miss you.
408
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:02,888
I'm gonna miss
all of youse guys,
409
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:05,491
Barney, and Hank, and Harry.
410
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:09,628
Ah, cut the banana oil
over there, huh?
411
00:17:09,728 --> 00:17:11,363
You ain't gonna miss none of us,
412
00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,399
you're only thinking
about yourself.
413
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,467
Well, why shouldn't I
look out for number one
414
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:17,569
for a change, huh?
415
00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:20,239
This could be my last shot
at ecstasy.
416
00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:25,577
With Carmine?
417
00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,913
We love each another.
418
00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:29,548
Love, huh?
419
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:30,849
Let me tell you something,
420
00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:32,384
I think that guy Carmine
421
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:35,888
is a very cold-blooded gent.
422
00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:40,325
Well, he likes the back
of a Good Humor truck.
423
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:42,594
What Good Humor truck?
424
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:44,196
She heard bells.
425
00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:48,067
Well, all right,
Veronica, go ahead.
426
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:50,769
You wanna go, go.
427
00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:53,906
For my part, I ain't got
nothing more to say.
428
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,942
Well, I think
the least you could do
429
00:17:57,042 --> 00:17:58,510
would be to offer me a drink
430
00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:01,080
while I'm waiting
for Carmine to pick me up.
431
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,548
Oh,
432
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,383
do you hear this, huh?
433
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:05,918
She wants
a free drink over here,
434
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,920
and she's leaving us
in the lurch.
435
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,255
Oh, come on, Arch,
you can afford to be a sport.
436
00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:14,226
Oh, don't give me that
be a sport stuff there.
437
00:18:14,326 --> 00:18:16,728
How long is it gonna take
Carmine to get here for you?
438
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:19,064
Fifteen minutes.
439
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,375
- Fifteen minutes.
- You know how much
440
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:22,601
she could put away in that time?
441
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:24,103
No more than a fifth.
442
00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:27,773
Hey, hey, not from there.
443
00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:29,208
From there.
444
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,529
Oh, Arch, look at the time,
445
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,564
1:35 P.M.
446
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,333
And Carmine
was supposed to be here
447
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,201
at 10:30 A.M.
448
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,637
Yeah.
Well, over a fifth to go.
449
00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:01,673
Don't be paying attention to me.
450
00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:03,075
Drink your drink.
451
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,589
I think we ought to see her home
452
00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:07,479
while she's got an outside
chance of walking.
453
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:09,681
- Will you do that, Murray?
- Why me?
454
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:11,316
She likes you.
455
00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:20,692
Veronica?
456
00:19:24,429 --> 00:19:26,098
Yoo-hoo, Veronica, here I am.
457
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:28,033
Oh,
458
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,735
- Murray.
- Yes.
459
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:30,936
Murray.
460
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:35,107
My mother named me
after Saint Veronica.
461
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:38,310
Well, it's a beautiful name.
462
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:42,181
She said it would help
keep me pure.
463
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,249
Oh, well, now, come on, come on,
464
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:47,052
I guess she didn't figure
on Carmine, did she?
465
00:19:47,152 --> 00:19:48,654
Oh, no.
466
00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:52,758
Carmine is why she died.
467
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,259
What do you mean?
468
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,561
No, he didn't.
469
00:19:56,862 --> 00:20:00,032
- Hmm?
- Oh, no, no.
470
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,967
It was unknown,
471
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,002
a lingering thing.
472
00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:07,139
We thought she'd never go.
473
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,210
God rest her soul.
474
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,644
Thank you.
475
00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:18,283
I bet our car broke down.
476
00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:21,820
What car?
477
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,023
The car Carmine went to buy,
478
00:20:25,123 --> 00:20:28,660
so we could drive
to happy ever after.
479
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:33,665
Now, where did he get the money?
480
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:39,238
From the $1,400 I loaned him.
481
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:40,739
Jeez.
482
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:48,747
I shouldn't have done that, huh?
483
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:57,222
Why do I let him
do that to me, Murray?
484
00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:59,491
- Am I stupid?
- No.
485
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,960
- Veronica, you're not stupid.
- I am.
486
00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:03,595
- I'm stupid.
- Believe me,
487
00:21:03,695 --> 00:21:06,064
- you are not stupid.
- Stupid.
488
00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:09,401
I'm with her, she's stupid.
489
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:12,671
And now, he's driving off
to Florida
490
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,807
in my $1,400 car.
491
00:21:15,907 --> 00:21:17,342
Yeah, but look
on the bright side,
492
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,778
maybe he'd have
an accident in it.
493
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,816
Veronica, I think you have
to figure that maybe
494
00:21:24,916 --> 00:21:27,219
you and Carmine don't have
495
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:28,754
any future together.
496
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:30,689
Yes. Yes.
Murray is right,
497
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:31,957
your future is here with us,
498
00:21:32,057 --> 00:21:34,893
with people who want you
and love you.
499
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,997
Come on, now, Veronica,
don't cry.
500
00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:42,601
- Oh, Murray, I see.
- Don't, don't...
501
00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:44,603
Let her cry.
502
00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:47,139
God, when they stop crying,
they throw up.
503
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,044
What happened?
504
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:54,079
Carmine.
505
00:21:54,179 --> 00:21:57,916
Carmine, he broke
her heart once again.
506
00:21:58,016 --> 00:22:01,086
Well, like the French say,
507
00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:05,791
That ain't French.
508
00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:07,726
Yeah, they mean the same thing.
509
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,494
You'll always return
510
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:11,096
to your first love.
511
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,866
Why don't you return
to the kitchen?
512
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:19,204
Off we go, off we go, Murray.
513
00:22:19,304 --> 00:22:21,073
- I got your bag.
- Yes, you got my bag.
514
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:22,984
- All right. Now, come on, now.
- Yes, I'm coming.
515
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,008
I'm gonna take you home.
516
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:25,516
- I am going home.
- Watch the chair.
517
00:22:25,610 --> 00:22:28,213
- Here you go, come on.
- Okay, Bunker,
518
00:22:28,313 --> 00:22:31,016
this is au revoir.
519
00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:32,451
You know, au revoir,
520
00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:35,087
but not good bye, huh?
521
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:36,955
Right. Au revoir,
522
00:22:37,055 --> 00:22:38,223
- but hello.
- Yeah.
523
00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:40,092
We'll see you tomorrow morning.
524
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,832
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Here, Veronica.
525
00:22:43,095 --> 00:22:45,497
You know, there is one thing
526
00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:48,033
that I have to hold on to.
527
00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:51,536
Carmine could've gone
528
00:22:51,636 --> 00:22:54,473
to any woman
529
00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:57,209
for that $1,400,
530
00:22:59,578 --> 00:23:02,447
but he comes straight to me.
531
00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:07,686
I guess that tells you
something, huh?
532
00:23:07,786 --> 00:23:08,920
Toodaloo.
533
00:23:09,020 --> 00:23:10,689
Come on, here you go,
534
00:23:10,789 --> 00:23:11,923
straight through there.
535
00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:13,191
She is stupid.
536
00:23:14,993 --> 00:23:17,028
- Watch your step.
- I'll watch the step.
537
00:23:17,129 --> 00:23:19,831
- Murray: That's a girl.
- Oh, we're at the door.
538
00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:20,966
Veronica:
I got it.
539
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:22,634
Murray:
Come on. Here you go.
540
00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,438
See this, huh?
541
00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:30,275
Now, this is why I'm so scared
542
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:32,411
of the equal rights
"commandment."
543
00:23:55,634 --> 00:23:55,665
(m
544
00:23:55,666 --> 00:23:55,698
(mus
545
00:23:55,699 --> 00:23:55,732
(music
546
00:23:55,733 --> 00:23:55,765
(music p
547
00:23:55,766 --> 00:23:55,799
(music pla
548
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:55,832
(music playi
549
00:23:55,833 --> 00:23:56,833
(music playing
36623
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