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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,890 So it's 6 PM in the night time... 2 00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:53,600 ... which is when I wake up. 3 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,730 This is always really scary part for me. 4 00:02:01,930 --> 00:02:04,260 Yes! Night time. 5 00:02:04,810 --> 00:02:08,330 So, now I'm going to wake up my flat mates. 6 00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:12,720 I really love living in a flatting situation. 7 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:13,740 Wake up! 8 00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:16,240 Wake up everyone! 9 00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:19,040 I like to hang out with other vampires. 10 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,090 I like the company. 11 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,840 Awaken! 12 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,140 A wakey, wakey! 13 00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:30,140 I just really like having a good time with my friends. 14 00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:31,710 Deacon... 15 00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:32,800 Hi! 16 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:33,740 Hey! 17 00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:35,740 Deacon... 18 00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:38,430 How was your night, last night? 19 00:02:39,250 --> 00:02:41,990 I transformed into a dog and had sex. 20 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,330 Cool! 21 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,780 We're gonna have a little flat-meeting in the kitchen in about 15 minutes, okay? 22 00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:49,960 - Okay. - Okay. 23 00:02:50,150 --> 00:02:52,220 - Should I close this? - Yes. 24 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,790 Vladislav?! 25 00:02:56,830 --> 00:02:59,000 Sorry! Sorry! 26 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:03,770 What? 27 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,040 - Hey! - What time is it? 28 00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:09,740 Umm, we're going to have a flat-meeting in about 10 minutes. 29 00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:10,610 Twenty. 30 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:11,990 Okay... is it... 31 00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:27,780 So we're... 32 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,490 ...in Petyr's room. 33 00:03:29,670 --> 00:03:31,610 I'm just going to wake him up. 34 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:50,990 Petyr? 35 00:03:52,010 --> 00:03:53,620 Petyr! 36 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,490 Petyr, wake up. 37 00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:05,310 Hey, listen. We're just having a flat-meeting upstairs in about 10 minutes. 38 00:04:05,710 --> 00:04:07,980 You don't have to come but I thought I'd 39 00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:10,740 extend an invitation to you just in case. 40 00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:11,850 Umm.... 41 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,880 There's a lot of stuff on the floor down here Petyr, and... 42 00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:18,700 ... like this seems, I don't... 43 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,700 Ah! It's a spinal column, yuck! 44 00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:22,830 And I was thinking, maybe... 45 00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,330 ... I just should bring a broom down here for you 46 00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:28,720 if you wanted to sweep up some of the skeletons. 47 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:30,010 I don't know. 48 00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:31,050 You know... 49 00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:33,220 Okay. 50 00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,210 I got you this chicken. 51 00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:42,510 Is Petyr coming? 52 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,370 - Should we wait? - Petyr's... 53 00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:45,730 ... eight thousand years old. 54 00:04:45,730 --> 00:04:47,980 We're not going to have Petyr at the meeting. 55 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,160 Okay, so... 56 00:04:49,460 --> 00:04:53,760 Wanted to have a quick chat about flat responsibilities because.. 57 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:57,220 uh...guys I think that we're not all pulling our weight here. 58 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,320 We're not just pointing the finger at you, Deacon. 59 00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:03,620 You're a cool guy but you're not pulling your weight in the flat. 60 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,520 Well, I'm glad to hear that I'm cool. 61 00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,870 - No, that's not the point though... - Yeah, no, I know, I know... 62 00:05:09,870 --> 00:05:11,980 It's not a flat meeting about how cool you are. 63 00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,960 - I do my flat chores. - No, you don't! 64 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,160 - Yes, I do - No, that's why we're having the flat-meeting. 65 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,940 The point is Deacon that you have not done the dishes for 5 years. 66 00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:20,900 Vladislav is right. 67 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:25,590 It's unacceptable to have so many bloody dishes all over this bench like that... 68 00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:28,000 I'm so embarrassed when people come over here. 69 00:05:28,010 --> 00:05:28,780 Why does it matter?! 70 00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:30,280 You bring them over, you kill them! 71 00:05:30,770 --> 00:05:32,670 Vampires don't do dishes. 72 00:05:32,870 --> 00:05:36,510 Deacon's like the rebellious young vampire. 73 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:40,580 He's always doing crazy things. Saying crazy things. 74 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:44,010 He's just like the young, bad boy of the group. 75 00:05:44,420 --> 00:05:46,150 Okay, so... 76 00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:48,600 One day I was... 77 00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,460 ... selling my wares... 78 00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:54,380 And I walked passed this old creepy castle. 79 00:05:54,470 --> 00:05:56,360 and I look at it and think... 80 00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,150 ... 'very old and creepy.' 81 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,150 And then this creature... 82 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,560 ... flies at me! 83 00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:06,250 It dragged me back to this dark dungeon. 84 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,410 And bit into my neck. 85 00:06:08,930 --> 00:06:11,210 And just at the point of death... 86 00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:12,530 ... this creature... 87 00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:15,770 ... forced me to suck its foul blood. 88 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,210 And then... 89 00:06:17,340 --> 00:06:19,720 ... it opened it's wings, like this. 90 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,030 And hovered above me... 91 00:06:22,130 --> 00:06:25,499 screeching....ah! haha-haa! 92 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,440 'Now you are vampire.' 93 00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:31,000 And it was Petyr. 94 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,020 And we're still friends today. 95 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:38,800 Vlad, you were great. You put out the recycling. 96 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,330 Which was really cool. 97 00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:41,090 And!.. 98 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:44,760 The other day, I dragged mans body down the hallway, 99 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:47,520 and noticed that there was no dust. 100 00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:51,750 Like, I kind of... I kind of swept the hallway. 101 00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:53,570 Vladislav, is just like... 102 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,540 ... this older vampire who 103 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,540 grew up in the medieval times. 104 00:06:57,660 --> 00:07:00,600 And you know, to be living this long 105 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,070 and to have seen the things that he's seen 106 00:07:03,860 --> 00:07:06,260 and still like, kind of have it together, 107 00:07:07,190 --> 00:07:08,630 I mean, hat's off to him. 108 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,540 Bloody hell! 109 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,210 Sorry! 110 00:07:12,210 --> 00:07:14,210 He's a really great guy. 111 00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:16,210 A bit a of a pervert. 112 00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:19,740 He has some pretty old ideas about things. 113 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,970 We should get some slaves! 114 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,650 When I first became a vampire... 115 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,760 ... I was quite tyrannical. 116 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:31,910 I was known for torturing a lot of people. 117 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,290 This is my torture chamber. 118 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,960 I don't come in here, often anymore. 119 00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:45,050 I tended to torture when I was in a bad place. 120 00:07:45,150 --> 00:07:48,430 My thing was, I would poke someone 121 00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:50,260 with implements. 122 00:07:50,310 --> 00:07:53,290 I was known as 'Vladislav The Poker'. 123 00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:57,300 It's been like this the whole time... 124 00:07:57,330 --> 00:08:00,080 - Okay, so... - Viago is a little... 125 00:08:00,470 --> 00:08:01,500 ... pedantic. 126 00:08:01,510 --> 00:08:03,760 The washing and the rubbish, I did that. 127 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,730 Deacon, on dishes and it still hasn't moved in 5 years. 128 00:08:07,740 --> 00:08:10,680 He was an 18th century dandy. 129 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,130 So, he can be very fussy. 130 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,710 He nags and nags... 131 00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:20,330 I went in to the lounge the other day and there was blood all over my nice antique couch. 132 00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:22,130 Which one, the red one? 133 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,000 Well, it's red now, yeah. 134 00:08:24,050 --> 00:08:26,890 If you're going to eat a victim on my nice clean couch 135 00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:29,020 put down some newspaper on the floor 136 00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,920 and some towels. It's not hard to do. 137 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,620 We're vampires! We don't put down towels. 138 00:08:34,620 --> 00:08:36,620 Some vampires do. 139 00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:38,700 Well, not serious ones! 140 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,900 When you get 4 vampires in a flat 141 00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:44,400 obviously there's going to be a lot of tension. 142 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,950 There's tension in any, any flatting situation. 143 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:52,790 It's settled then. We all do our jobs, starting with a certain Deacon... 144 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,640 - I will do my dishes! - Good then! 145 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,020 This is bullshit. 146 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:59,300 I uh, became a vampire when I was 16. 147 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:02,280 That is why I always look 16. 148 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:06,920 In those days, of course, life was tough for a 16 year old. 149 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,140 Vampires have had a pretty bad rap. 150 00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:24,820 We're not these mopey old creatures who live in castles. 151 00:10:25,010 --> 00:10:28,060 And while some, most of us are, a lot are... but... 152 00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:31,310 There are also those of us, who like to flat together in 153 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,280 really small countries like New Zealand. 154 00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:46,240 I was a...Nazi vampire. 155 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,820 After the war, which the Nazi's lost... 156 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,480 I don't know, if you know that the Nazi's lost... 157 00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:00,580 ... that war. 158 00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:02,800 If you were a Nazi, after the war... 159 00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:06,040 ...and if you were a vampire... 160 00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:11,260 ... and if you were a Nazi vampire... 161 00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:12,990 No way. 162 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,610 I was out of there. 163 00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:01,830 Yah, I came to this country for love. 164 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:05,300 Uh, there was a girl. Human girl. 165 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:06,840 And... 166 00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:07,980 ... I... 167 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:10,420 ... thought she was fantastic. She was... 168 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,290 ... absolutely amazing. 169 00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:13,610 I was smitten. 170 00:12:13,770 --> 00:12:17,430 Her family emigrated to New Zealand. 171 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,500 And, I thought, 172 00:12:19,610 --> 00:12:21,220 'you know what, to hell with it. 173 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:24,750 I'm gonna go. I'm going to chase her and tell her how I feel.' 174 00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:26,750 I told my servant Phillip, 175 00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:28,910 'Send me to New Zealand.' 176 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:29,740 He... 177 00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:32,480 ... put the wrong postage on my coffin. 178 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:35,730 So the whole journey took about 18 months. 179 00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,630 And when I got here, she had... 180 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:41,810 ... found someone else. 181 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,180 She had fallen in love. 182 00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:47,250 And... 183 00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:49,310 She was married. 184 00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:02,610 She gave me this before she left. 185 00:13:04,630 --> 00:13:06,050 There she is. 186 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,120 And that's me, I put myself in there too. 187 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,210 She told me it was pure silver. 188 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,530 Unfortunately... 189 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:19,240 ... we vampires cannot wear silver. 190 00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:41,800 Yeah... 191 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,000 It's about as long as I can wear that. 192 00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:15,050 Tonight, we are going out into Wellington Central. 193 00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:17,070 It is important that we look good. 194 00:14:17,130 --> 00:14:18,510 Yeah, it's really good. Yeah. 195 00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:23,610 One of the unfortunate things about not having a reflection is that you... 196 00:14:23,670 --> 00:14:25,940 ... don't know exactly what you look like. 197 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,680 Looook! 198 00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:28,760 Look! 199 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,870 A ghost cup! 200 00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:34,050 Floating all by itself! 201 00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:36,550 We can give each other feedback and 202 00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:39,300 help each other out until we're looking great. 203 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,830 Yes, some of our clothes are from victims. 204 00:14:41,910 --> 00:14:43,930 We might bite someone and then... 205 00:14:44,190 --> 00:14:46,740 ... you think, 'ooh, those are some nice pants!'. 206 00:14:46,820 --> 00:14:48,040 - Do work these? - NO! 207 00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:48,780 Change it! 208 00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:51,740 When you are a vampire, you become very sexy. 209 00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:58,590 We are trying to attract victims to us. 210 00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:00,110 Not sure about the waist coat. 211 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,510 I go for a look which I call Dead But Delicious. 212 00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:05,610 We are the bait. 213 00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:07,610 But we're also the trap. 214 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,450 Hello ladies. 215 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:34,600 And my love, we are ready to go into town and party! 216 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,600 Vampire... vampire style. 217 00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:49,160 When we go into town, we must try to blend in. 218 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,590 Just walking the streets. 219 00:15:50,590 --> 00:15:53,230 Coming into town. Um, it's really cool because 220 00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:54,890 just for one brief moment 221 00:15:54,890 --> 00:15:55,480 I feel... 222 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,580 Homos! 223 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,320 The trouble with being a vampire is you 224 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,640 have to be invited in, to go in. 225 00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:11,340 We would like to come into the bar, please. 226 00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:15,340 - Invite us into the bar, please. - $5...you can walk in. 227 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:17,070 Will you invite us in! 228 00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:19,360 If the humans find out what we were... 229 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,680 ... they would destroy us. 230 00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:26,150 There are between 60 and 70 vampires in the greater Wellington region. 231 00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,040 - Obvious vampire. - Joline! 232 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:28,720 Hello! 233 00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,260 How embarrassing. 234 00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:33,080 He's um...a guy I used to work with when I was human. 235 00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:35,700 - Is he gone? - Yeah, he's gone. 236 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:37,270 I've been draining him all night. 237 00:16:37,270 --> 00:16:38,600 I've been a very thirsty girl. 238 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:41,760 - Hey guys! Being bitten as a little boy or a little girl 239 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,540 you're always going to look the same age. 240 00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:44,650 What are you doing tonight? 241 00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:46,200 Are you going to kill some perverts? 242 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,360 - Yeah, we're meeting a pedophile. - Cool. 243 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,000 Okay, let's just go to Big Kumara. 244 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,920 - Have a good night, guys! - Yeah, you have a good night, bye. 245 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:56,400 The Big Kumara is vampire owned and operated, and so we can always get in. 246 00:16:56,400 --> 00:17:00,030 It's the hottest night spot for vampires in Wellington. 247 00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,820 - Come on in, guys, come on in. - Thank you. Thanks. 248 00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:14,030 Perhaps you could bring some people to the house. 249 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,410 - Sure. - Perhaps some virgins? 250 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,890 Virgins? Yep, okay. 251 00:17:17,930 --> 00:17:20,710 Any kind of preference in terms of gender or? 252 00:17:20,710 --> 00:17:22,180 Maybe some ladies? 253 00:17:22,180 --> 00:17:23,400 Yep. Ladies. 254 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,360 Perhaps a guy? 255 00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:26,860 One of each? 256 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,360 One of each will be cool. 257 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,250 My relationship with Deacon is... 258 00:17:31,590 --> 00:17:33,690 ... well, I'm his familiar. He's my Master. 259 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,160 He tells me what to do, I do it. 260 00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:43,050 We have that kind of master/servant relationship which works nicely...actually. 261 00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:43,840 - Hello! - Hello. 262 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,110 Oh, it's a little bit of blood. 263 00:17:45,110 --> 00:17:47,940 Um, my husband, he's a... ...he's a haemophiliac. 264 00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,060 You know, someone that bleeds a lot. 265 00:17:50,060 --> 00:17:50,630 Yep. 266 00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:52,440 Any kind of age range? 267 00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:55,090 - Young. - But not, not kids? 268 00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:56,400 Not kids. 269 00:17:56,620 --> 00:17:58,080 18 to 30? 270 00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:00,630 Definitely younger than yourself. 271 00:18:00,630 --> 00:18:02,630 Okay, so 18 to 30. 272 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:03,770 So it's a dinner party? 273 00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:05,910 - I'll be there? - Yes! - You'll be there! - Dinner Party! 274 00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:06,740 - The guys will be there? - Yes! 275 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,020 - We'll all be there? - Yes, we will dress up... 276 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,640 - Ok, great. - ...and then...eat them. 277 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,940 - Okay.. - Should be fun. - ...great. 278 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,110 I was just wondering if we could talk about the um... 279 00:18:15,110 --> 00:18:17,570 Do you know of a night...dentist? 280 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,250 Because I have this thing here. 281 00:18:19,260 --> 00:18:22,200 I was just wondering if we could talk about the...the deal. 282 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,530 - Hm? - The deal? 283 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,820 - The dishes? - No, no, the...you know, the..deal? 284 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:31,440 The deal is that he is going to give me eternal life. 285 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,500 Um, which is... 286 00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:36,010 ... very exciting. 287 00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:38,100 Well, I just feel like I kind of reached my potential and 288 00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:40,480 I wouldn't wanna, kind of, get any older before, I kinda... 289 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,060 I just feel like I'm the best version of myself that I can be. 290 00:18:43,110 --> 00:18:45,100 - Yes...relax. - It's just that it's been 4 and a half years and I just... 291 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:47,100 but it's...I'm doing your pot plants and I'm 292 00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:49,380 doing your dry-cleaning. Now I'm doing your dishes... 293 00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:50,880 ...and I'm doing... And the dentist? 294 00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:53,940 And the dentist!.. and it's just taking an awful long time, so I was just wondering... 295 00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:55,940 - Be gone! - Okay. 296 00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:58,500 - I see you later! - Okay. 297 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:13,300 One of the most unfortunate things about being a vampire is that... 298 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,940 ... you have to drink human blood. 299 00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:19,940 I like to make a real evening of it. -Lovely! 300 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,550 Play some music. 301 00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:24,140 Maybe give them some nice wine. 302 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:28,330 It's their last moment alive so why not make it a nice experience? 303 00:19:30,130 --> 00:19:31,920 So... 304 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,100 Tell we what you do, what do you... 305 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,680 I'm thinking about going back to Uni, actually. 306 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,210 Oh, you are? Put that... 307 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,400 over there. 308 00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:42,420 University, yah? 309 00:19:42,610 --> 00:19:45,160 Yeah, but after that, I'm gonna travel. 310 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,130 Yeah... 311 00:19:46,330 --> 00:19:49,130 I've really wanted to go overseas for ages, so.. 312 00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:51,840 saving up and I'm gonna go to Spain and 313 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,180 Italy and London and... 314 00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:55,440 Yeah. 315 00:19:57,670 --> 00:19:59,910 Okay. Excuse me. 316 00:19:59,910 --> 00:20:01,910 Just put that there. 317 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,850 There we go. 320b 00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:16,900 Shit! 318 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,130 Shit! 319 00:20:25,670 --> 00:20:28,020 Well, that didn't go so great. 320 00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:31,280 Um, I hit the main artery. 321 00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:35,760 So, yeah, it's a real mess in there, um... 322 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,670 On the upside, I think she had a really good time. 323 00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,740 So, it's quite late and uh... 324 00:20:59,740 --> 00:21:03,500 I've managed to find a woman up, watching television. 325 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,900 And, uh, she seems like she'd be a good victim. 326 00:21:08,190 --> 00:21:11,090 I'm just going to use hypnosis on her... 327 00:21:13,420 --> 00:21:15,280 See me... 328 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,140 See me... 329 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,950 She can't, she can't see me from that angle. 330 00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:26,860 Vladislav used to be extremely powerful. 331 00:21:26,940 --> 00:21:29,320 He could hypnotize crowds of people. 332 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,280 Great orgies. Twenty, thirty women. 333 00:21:32,340 --> 00:21:34,560 He could turn into all sorts of animals. 334 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,740 But now he never get the faces right. 335 00:21:36,740 --> 00:21:39,480 He would kill anybody. Men, women. 336 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,820 Children. Burning... everything. 337 00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:43,960 It was totally great. 338 00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:47,600 But he suffered a humiliating defeat... 339 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:50,320 ... at the hands of his arch nemesis... 340 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,320 ... The Beast. 341 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,360 And, he's never been the same. 342 00:22:02,550 --> 00:22:04,040 See me... 343 00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:08,000 See me... 344 00:22:09,410 --> 00:22:11,610 See me... 345 00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:15,560 See me... 346 00:22:17,150 --> 00:22:19,480 Would you like to come inside? 347 00:22:42,350 --> 00:22:43,940 Ah! 348 00:22:43,970 --> 00:22:46,220 - Jackie, welcome! - Hello Come in! 349 00:22:47,150 --> 00:22:49,550 This is Nick. Ex-ex boyfriend. 350 00:22:49,650 --> 00:22:51,130 - And Josefine. - Nice house. 351 00:22:51,130 --> 00:22:53,940 And this is Deacon, my overseas friend from, Europe. 352 00:22:54,180 --> 00:22:56,730 Deacon and his friends need... 353 00:22:56,820 --> 00:22:57,790 ... victims. 354 00:22:57,790 --> 00:23:00,640 Hi! Please come in, welcome. 355 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,640 They can't be people that... 356 00:23:03,610 --> 00:23:05,110 ... I actually 357 00:23:05,140 --> 00:23:08,630 envious them or like because of course they will become victims. 358 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,710 Hi! Josefine? 359 00:23:10,870 --> 00:23:13,120 No, I sat next to you in English. Remember? 360 00:23:13,620 --> 00:23:16,040 Um, you used to call me the Jaxorcist? 361 00:23:16,450 --> 00:23:18,310 No you did, no you did. Yeah. 362 00:23:18,390 --> 00:23:20,040 No, you started that. 363 00:23:20,530 --> 00:23:23,880 You were the one who started calling me that and then everyone..and then it kind of caught on. 364 00:23:24,380 --> 00:23:25,060 Yeah. 365 00:23:25,210 --> 00:23:27,800 Okay, bye then. Bye. 366 00:23:27,890 --> 00:23:28,800 She's in. 367 00:23:33,630 --> 00:23:34,820 Do you like that, Nick? 368 00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:36,840 Yep, that's nice. 369 00:23:38,700 --> 00:23:41,740 I will go and prepare dinner. 370 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,990 Nick, are you a virgin at all? 371 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,260 Um, what? 372 00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:51,400 Doesn't seem like... are, are you a virgin? 373 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,640 - Yes. - Um, no. - [I knew it.] 374 00:23:54,140 --> 00:23:56,010 You were a virgin when we were seeing each other? 375 00:23:56,210 --> 00:23:57,240 Yeah, I was twelve. 376 00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:58,880 You said he was a virgin. 377 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,540 I think we drink virgin blood because... 378 00:24:01,820 --> 00:24:03,040 ... it sounds cool. 379 00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:04,720 I think of it like this... 380 00:24:04,970 --> 00:24:07,280 If you're going to eat a sandwich.. 381 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,400 You will just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it. 382 00:24:11,580 --> 00:24:14,050 Let's concentrate on Josefine then. 383 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:15,670 Are you a virgin? 384 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:16,980 I'm not, no. 385 00:24:17,060 --> 00:24:18,600 Okay, I'm really sorry. 386 00:24:18,650 --> 00:24:20,120 Because I totally... 387 00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,580 pinned her as a Virgin. 388 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,630 She looks like a virgin. She talks like a virgin, I mean... 389 00:24:25,290 --> 00:24:27,290 Who would have sex with her? I wouldn't. 390 00:24:27,780 --> 00:24:28,960 I would. 391 00:24:29,940 --> 00:24:30,840 Oh. 392 00:24:32,780 --> 00:24:34,020 Okay, good... 393 00:24:34,020 --> 00:24:36,870 - there's 2 dinners... yum. - Nick? 394 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,020 Do you like bisghetti? 395 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,190 Uh... yep. I usually like it. 396 00:24:41,450 --> 00:24:43,580 But, be better if it was warm? 397 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,300 So, this is my favorite trick. 398 00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:48,900 We present our guest with a plate of bisghetti. 399 00:24:49,460 --> 00:24:52,880 And then, I would say, ' Why don't you eat some bisghetti?' 400 00:24:53,370 --> 00:24:54,640 Please, Nick. 401 00:24:54,770 --> 00:24:56,170 Eat some bisghetti. 402 00:24:58,090 --> 00:25:01,100 I didn't realize you enjoyed eating worms. 403 00:25:01,260 --> 00:25:01,970 Nick. 404 00:25:02,020 --> 00:25:04,580 - No...no! - They are worms. - Fuck off! 405 00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:07,400 There's worms moving around on my plate. 406 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,800 - It is worm like but not actually worms. - It is really bisghetti! 407 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,390 We stole that idea from The Lost Boys. 408 00:25:12,390 --> 00:25:14,160 But I put a nice twist on it. 409 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:15,150 Nick? 410 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,540 How does it feel to have a snake for a penis? 411 00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:21,110 Jackie? 412 00:25:21,140 --> 00:25:23,000 My penis has disappeared. It's a cobra snake. 413 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,910 Nobody's gonna mistake your penis for a cobra, Nick, okay? 414 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:27,300 - Believe you me. - What have you put in my bisghetti? 415 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,070 Now it is just a..normal penis. 416 00:25:30,260 --> 00:25:32,370 I'm out. I'm out. 417 00:25:32,580 --> 00:25:34,240 Josefine? 418 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,240 Do you like bisghetti? 419 00:25:38,110 --> 00:25:39,680 Look, these freaks... 420 00:25:40,060 --> 00:25:43,410 ... spike my bisghetti, make my cock turn into a snake is not cool. 421 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,210 Not cool. 422 00:25:51,210 --> 00:25:52,640 You don't think this is weird? 423 00:25:54,210 --> 00:25:55,560 For fuck's sake... 424 00:26:01,790 --> 00:26:03,160 Jackie?! 425 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,180 Jackie! 426 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,600 - Sorry Nick. - What are you doing?! 427 00:26:08,540 --> 00:26:09,760 Jackie! 428 00:26:15,370 --> 00:26:16,480 Shit! 429 00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:45,180 Fuck off. 430 00:26:49,780 --> 00:26:50,980 Where am I? 431 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:14,450 Fuck. 432 00:27:17,380 --> 00:27:18,240 Fuck! 433 00:27:28,850 --> 00:27:29,760 Freaks! 434 00:27:39,590 --> 00:27:41,250 Ah, no... 435 00:27:41,820 --> 00:27:43,180 Petyr got him. 436 00:27:43,210 --> 00:27:44,810 Poor guy... 437 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:46,910 Who let Petyr out? 438 00:28:46,010 --> 00:28:47,370 Hey, guys! 439 00:28:48,630 --> 00:28:50,170 Hey, what are you guys doing? 440 00:28:50,910 --> 00:28:52,320 What are you doing, Nick? 441 00:28:52,470 --> 00:28:53,960 Come into the house. 442 00:28:55,220 --> 00:28:56,880 - Hi, my name is Nick. - Hey, guys. 443 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,620 I've been a vampire for 2 months. 444 00:29:00,540 --> 00:29:03,990 Probably, I reckon the best thing about being a vampire is flying. 445 00:29:04,340 --> 00:29:06,560 Like I've always wanted to, I think everyone has always wanted to fly. 446 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,300 And now I can do it. 447 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:14,770 No... 448 00:29:18,770 --> 00:29:21,230 Nick, why don't you use the front door? 449 00:29:22,350 --> 00:29:23,750 Why would I? I'm flying. 450 00:29:24,390 --> 00:29:25,620 Petyr bit me. 451 00:29:25,770 --> 00:29:26,920 Sucked all my blood out. 452 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,710 I woke up in his basement and... 453 00:29:28,710 --> 00:29:30,150 ... he offered me some blood. 454 00:29:30,350 --> 00:29:31,760 I just thought it was something... 455 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,760 ... some German thing that these guys do. 456 00:29:33,910 --> 00:29:36,970 The transition, into becoming a vampire was pretty hard. 457 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,600 I looked like shit to start off with, like, I had a massive gash on my neck. 458 00:29:41,860 --> 00:29:43,540 Like you could see the inside of my neck. 459 00:29:43,660 --> 00:29:45,290 I had blood all over my top. 460 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,160 And then I came home and I was sweating. 461 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:49,880 I was either really hot or really cold. 462 00:29:50,130 --> 00:29:52,040 It was like a hang-over times ten, I reckon. 463 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,440 It was really bad. 464 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,620 It was quite similar to having the flu. 465 00:30:01,620 --> 00:30:04,030 Except, the only difference would probably be... 466 00:30:04,300 --> 00:30:06,250 ... that my eyes bleed heaps. 467 00:30:07,910 --> 00:30:09,560 Are you guys not cold? 468 00:30:10,060 --> 00:30:13,470 I don't know, I can't really explain it. It's like, just yeah, real hot and cold and like... 469 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,730 ... bloody eyes and flying and stuff. 470 00:30:16,060 --> 00:30:18,540 The neighbors can see you flying around the house. 471 00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:20,620 You want to draw attention to this house, hm? 472 00:30:20,620 --> 00:30:22,880 You got a whole... documentary crew following you around. 473 00:30:22,940 --> 00:30:25,040 I am doing an erotic dance for my friends. 474 00:30:25,090 --> 00:30:27,170 And you ruined it. I was in the zone. 475 00:30:27,170 --> 00:30:28,560 My friends are loving it. 476 00:30:28,730 --> 00:30:30,360 I love it. I saw the end of it. It looked great. 477 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,320 I don't, I don't know if I'm... being, if I'm accepted yet. 478 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,570 But... I don't know. I think it's getting there. 479 00:30:35,900 --> 00:30:37,910 I don't know the oldest stuff, but they're quite naive... 480 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,390 ... when it comes to the real world. 481 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,080 So... 482 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:42,820 I don't know, it would be cool to just... 483 00:30:42,940 --> 00:30:44,530 Hang out with them. They could teach me some stuff. 484 00:30:44,530 --> 00:30:46,660 But I could probably teach them a few things. 485 00:30:54,010 --> 00:30:56,130 At the start it was like, 'Oh no, like I'm..' 486 00:30:56,630 --> 00:30:57,600 '... I'm dead.' 487 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,860 It kind of affected my friendship with normal people, my family and stuff. 488 00:31:02,050 --> 00:31:04,530 But, of the way I see it, I've got a whole new family. 489 00:31:04,700 --> 00:31:08,550 They accept me for who I am. And I accept them for who they are. 490 00:31:09,230 --> 00:31:10,340 Even though... 491 00:31:10,460 --> 00:31:11,720 ... one of them killed me. 492 00:31:12,020 --> 00:31:13,600 Where should we go tonight? 493 00:31:13,670 --> 00:31:14,820 Let's go to the Big Kumara. 494 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,580 Why don't we go to Boogie Wonderland? We never get in to Boogie Wonderland. 495 00:31:17,670 --> 00:31:20,040 My friend Richard's the bouncer. He can get us in. 496 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,040 - What? Really? - He'll invite us in. 497 00:31:22,410 --> 00:31:24,710 - Stu's keen, Stu loves it. - Cool, that's two. 498 00:31:24,870 --> 00:31:27,000 Ah, this is my friend Stu. 499 00:31:27,260 --> 00:31:29,460 - Hey. - He works in computers and stuff. 500 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,480 Originally he went out with my sister. 501 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:32,980 And then they broke up. 502 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,660 I don't really give a... 503 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:35,860 It's got nothing to do with me. 504 00:31:35,930 --> 00:31:38,260 And um... you can't hear me. 505 00:31:40,330 --> 00:31:41,690 Yeah, so basically... 506 00:31:42,230 --> 00:31:43,880 Stu, he doesn't know that I'm a vampire. 507 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,180 And he doesn't know that my friends are vampires. 508 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:47,570 He just thinks that I've just... 509 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,520 ... met some colourful friends. 510 00:31:50,380 --> 00:31:54,620 I brought him around to the house and they all thought I brought...like a meal for everyone. 511 00:31:54,860 --> 00:31:55,690 It's just like... 512 00:31:55,770 --> 00:31:57,480 ... it really, really sucks... 513 00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,300 ... that I can't eat him. 514 00:31:59,530 --> 00:32:01,810 I just want to like... 515 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,580 Look at it. He's the reddest guy I know. 516 00:32:05,900 --> 00:32:07,580 Right, you can hear me. 517 00:32:08,340 --> 00:32:11,320 - So you like computer based stuff, hey, mainly? - Yeah, yeah. 518 00:32:11,460 --> 00:32:14,250 - Geo databases. - Yeah, like computers mainly. 519 00:32:15,530 --> 00:32:18,920 Let's have a vote for Boogie Wonderland or The Big Kumara? 520 00:32:19,300 --> 00:32:20,690 Big Kumara! 521 00:32:22,980 --> 00:32:23,980 Great. 522 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,350 Careful Stu, hurry up. 523 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,540 I don't think Nick should have been turned into a vampire. 524 00:32:31,740 --> 00:32:33,320 He's such a dick. 525 00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:36,000 - How are you brother! - Looking great man! 526 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,666 Gentlemen!...you are most welcome! 527 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,380 We're in Boogie Wonderland! 528 00:32:48,380 --> 00:32:54,370 So here we are at Boogie Wonderland and it is so much fun. 529 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,660 - They have an electric floor - This is amazing! 530 00:32:57,660 --> 00:32:59,520 I'm just so happy to be here. 531 00:33:00,010 --> 00:33:02,000 This place is pretty cheesy. 532 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,440 Also, did you see the jacket he wore? 533 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,030 He's wearing the same jacket as me. 534 00:33:07,030 --> 00:33:09,430 - It's not exactly the same. - It's pretty close. 535 00:33:15,450 --> 00:33:18,500 Awesome night. I'm just loving being a vampire at the moment. 536 00:33:24,230 --> 00:33:26,240 Over there, is the big Fat Lady's Arms. 537 00:33:26,380 --> 00:33:29,260 Ah, on Wednesday's there'll be, like a fear factor competition. 538 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,620 You can win like t-shirts and hats and spot prizes. 539 00:33:32,620 --> 00:33:34,620 I can smell werewolves. 540 00:33:34,820 --> 00:33:38,800 Okay, we're just about to walk past some werewolves so some shit might go down! 541 00:33:38,860 --> 00:33:41,220 Look out guys. Don't catch fleas. 542 00:33:41,350 --> 00:33:42,670 - What's that, mate? - Deacon. 543 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,440 - Sorry what? - Keep going, keep walking. 544 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,500 - Keep walking! - We heard that mate. We've got sensitive hearing. 545 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:47,590 - Have you? - Yeah. 546 00:33:47,590 --> 00:33:49,290 What are you filming? Some music video, is it? 547 00:33:49,290 --> 00:33:51,080 We don't want any trouble. 548 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,880 - I do! - Why did you start it? - Have I got your heckles up? 549 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:54,400 Huh? 550 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,960 Why don't you go smell your own crotches, huh? 551 00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:58,250 - Come on Deacon, stop it. - What are you talking about? 552 00:33:58,250 --> 00:34:01,250 We don't smell our own crotches. We smell each others crotches. 553 00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:03,250 And it's a, form of... greeting. 554 00:34:03,310 --> 00:34:04,970 Your on camera, mate, don't, don't do it... 555 00:34:04,970 --> 00:34:05,380 What? 556 00:34:05,430 --> 00:34:07,110 It's okay, cause I know this guy. 557 00:34:07,110 --> 00:34:08,320 It's count Fagula. 558 00:34:09,820 --> 00:34:11,430 Hey, hey, hey! Don't swear. 559 00:34:11,430 --> 00:34:13,330 - Sorry... they... they... - We're werewolves. 560 00:34:13,330 --> 00:34:14,340 - Not swearwolves. - What are we? 561 00:34:14,630 --> 00:34:16,260 We're werewolves, not swearwolves. 562 00:34:16,540 --> 00:34:19,820 - No, listen to Anton, that's offensive... - That's a really offensive word to call people. 563 00:34:19,850 --> 00:34:22,150 Well, at least you're talking about a bundle of sticks. 564 00:34:22,230 --> 00:34:23,820 Chase this bundle of sticks... 565 00:34:23,850 --> 00:34:24,900 Werewolves! 566 00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:27,490 - Don't get it! - No, no, it's not real...Nathan, it's not real. 567 00:34:27,490 --> 00:34:29,350 He's just gonna take of his gloves. 568 00:34:29,350 --> 00:34:31,580 Ah, shit, man! What the fuck you do that for? 569 00:34:31,580 --> 00:34:34,800 Hey! Don't swear. We're gonna lose it. We're gonna lose it. 570 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:35,620 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Hey. 571 00:34:35,620 --> 00:34:36,790 Calm down. Calm down! 572 00:34:36,790 --> 00:34:38,190 - Oh shit, I've still got my glasses on! - Dion! Dion! 573 00:34:42,250 --> 00:34:43,090 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 574 00:34:44,130 --> 00:34:45,740 Do the breathing! Do the breathing. 575 00:34:45,740 --> 00:34:47,860 Do the breathing. Count to ten mate. Count to ten. 576 00:34:47,860 --> 00:34:49,200 - Come on. - Hold it. 577 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,200 Count to ten, human again. 578 00:34:51,290 --> 00:34:52,880 - Ten, human again. - It's alright. It's not full moon. 579 00:34:52,950 --> 00:34:53,950 Thanks a lot guys. 580 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,290 - Enjoy your night, yeah? - You should be ashamed of yourselves, man. 581 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:57,780 Great, we didn't want this to happen. 582 00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:06,010 - Come on guys. - Hey! 583 00:35:06,010 --> 00:35:08,010 Say it! Don't spray it, bitch! 584 00:35:08,130 --> 00:35:08,950 Declan! 585 00:35:09,170 --> 00:35:11,710 - Why are you swearing all the time?! - Well, he riled me out... 586 00:35:11,710 --> 00:35:13,710 - Were they actually werewolves? - Yeah. 587 00:35:13,710 --> 00:35:15,710 Are you okay, Stu? 588 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,920 I just don't really know how to... 589 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,050 ... approach this, cause I never done it before. 590 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,640 Um, and he is a good friend. 591 00:35:24,850 --> 00:35:26,140 And I don't wanna... 592 00:35:26,700 --> 00:35:28,550 ... I don't wanna break that friendship but.. 593 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:32,160 ... then again, what do you do when someone tells you, that they're a vampire? 594 00:35:33,140 --> 00:35:35,170 I'm expecting him to be angry. 595 00:35:35,170 --> 00:35:38,830 He might be scared and expecting a lot of things to, to bubble to the surface. 596 00:35:39,580 --> 00:35:41,170 You probably noticed it's been... 597 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,850 ... I've been going through a few changes lately. 598 00:35:45,970 --> 00:35:46,770 - Yeah. - Yeah? 599 00:35:46,810 --> 00:35:47,470 Yeah. 600 00:35:47,790 --> 00:35:48,860 Like... 601 00:35:49,150 --> 00:35:51,030 I don't show up for lunch anymore. 602 00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:53,420 - Yeah. - How I've... 603 00:35:53,580 --> 00:35:56,140 ... changed all our,all our tennis games... 604 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:57,620 ...to night time tennis games. 605 00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:58,470 Right... 606 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:00,480 And how you went from beating me 607 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,480 every time and now how I 608 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,480 I've won the last three? 609 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:06,620 Yeah. 610 00:36:06,940 --> 00:36:07,730 So... 611 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,430 The reason I brought you here... 612 00:36:10,340 --> 00:36:12,160 ... is to tell you that... 613 00:36:13,210 --> 00:36:14,710 ... I'm a vampire. 614 00:36:18,390 --> 00:36:19,740 Stu took it pretty well. 615 00:36:19,740 --> 00:36:21,740 He's definitely my best mate. 616 00:36:21,870 --> 00:36:23,160 And I'm not gonna eat him. 617 00:36:23,220 --> 00:36:24,960 But if they ever offer you bisghetti... 618 00:36:24,990 --> 00:36:27,180 Um.... you shouldn't eat it. 619 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,680 I think they offered me biscotti. 620 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:33,320 Vampire mates don't eat human mates. 621 00:36:33,490 --> 00:36:35,430 And no matter how much I want to eat him... 622 00:36:35,490 --> 00:36:37,320 ... I will never eat him cause he's my mate. 623 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,340 - Hey Stu? - Yeah. 624 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:40,710 Yeah. 625 00:36:42,860 --> 00:36:45,480 Stu is great. 626 00:36:46,590 --> 00:36:48,030 We really like him. 627 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,660 At first I wanted to kill him. 628 00:36:50,740 --> 00:36:54,180 But now I'm glad I've spent the time to get to know him. 629 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:58,220 Yeah, of course he looks delicious with his big red cheeks. 630 00:36:58,220 --> 00:37:02,380 But we've all got an agreement that we're not going to eat Stu. 631 00:37:02,460 --> 00:37:03,940 - Right? - Right. 632 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,660 The guys upstairs, they're... ...they're loving him. 633 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,360 That's ... at the start, they were a bit 'Who's this human you're bringing into the house?' 634 00:37:10,590 --> 00:37:12,380 But it took them literally two minutes and... 635 00:37:12,380 --> 00:37:14,380 ...they like him more than they like me, I reckon. 636 00:37:14,910 --> 00:37:17,270 I'm knitting a scarf for Stu. 637 00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,060 Try and attack. Use your legs. 638 00:37:21,490 --> 00:37:22,750 Wow. 639 00:37:22,750 --> 00:37:26,240 - Step back and block... - Punching high. 640 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,020 - Yep. - High. 641 00:37:28,020 --> 00:37:28,680 Yep. 642 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,160 I'm just, what I'm trying to say is... 643 00:37:30,690 --> 00:37:32,110 ... cause I know that you... 644 00:37:32,340 --> 00:37:33,610 ... you turned me into a vampire. 645 00:37:33,990 --> 00:37:35,870 Maybe don't do that to him. 646 00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:37,830 He's a... vegetarian. 647 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,880 Last thing he'd want to do is eat... 648 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,640 ... a live being or eat blood or eat meat... 649 00:37:43,230 --> 00:37:45,380 - I am controlling this. - Get it, get it! 650 00:37:45,450 --> 00:37:49,690 It's quite amazing to see how far technology can go forward 651 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,740 if you're not paying attention. 652 00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:55,160 One message received. 653 00:37:59,410 --> 00:38:02,160 There is a crucifix behind you. 654 00:38:02,220 --> 00:38:04,890 So, down on that one,like, half way down and we'll focus it. 655 00:38:04,890 --> 00:38:05,850 Maybe smile. 656 00:38:10,740 --> 00:38:13,380 - Anything you want to find, you... - Yeah. 657 00:38:13,470 --> 00:38:15,780 - You can type your name here. - I've lost... 658 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:20,250 ... a really nice silk scarf in about 1912. 659 00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:21,380 Yes, now Google it. 660 00:38:21,420 --> 00:38:26,010 Stu is the first human friend that I've had for long time. 661 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:29,080 With humans there's a tendency to die. 662 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:31,400 Yeah. 663 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,100 We can look at her photos. 664 00:38:33,100 --> 00:38:35,260 - Ah, oh yes. - Or we can poke her. 665 00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:38,830 Yes. 666 00:38:39,230 --> 00:38:41,660 Can we see a movie with sunrise? 667 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,930 - What? Shit! - Whoo... 668 00:38:45,020 --> 00:38:46,490 Nice... 669 00:38:46,650 --> 00:38:49,920 If you push images, then we can see pictures of virgins. 670 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:51,920 - Ah, yes. Yes. - Yah, yah... 671 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:58,280 I don't think she's a virgin if she's doing that. 672 00:39:11,720 --> 00:39:13,000 There he is, yeah. 673 00:39:13,180 --> 00:39:15,430 This is my old servant, Phillip. 674 00:39:15,540 --> 00:39:17,780 - So, we're gonna call him. - Yeah. 675 00:39:17,850 --> 00:39:19,200 And... 676 00:39:19,290 --> 00:39:21,070 ...screen... 677 00:39:25,230 --> 00:39:28,090 My God, that's him, that's him, that's him, that's Phillip, that's Phillip. 678 00:39:28,090 --> 00:39:30,090 - He looks so old. 679 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:08,600 Yeah, kind of like Google Maps, but like, more...more layers of information. 680 00:41:08,620 --> 00:41:10,960 The movie Twilight, have you seen it? 681 00:41:11,410 --> 00:41:14,640 Okay, I'm the main guy in Twilight. You now the main guy? 682 00:41:14,740 --> 00:41:15,720 Twilight? 683 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:16,980 That's me. 684 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,350 There's cameras following me around. 685 00:41:18,380 --> 00:41:19,550 They could have chosen anyone. 686 00:41:19,550 --> 00:41:21,810 How many people have you told you're are a vampire? 687 00:41:21,940 --> 00:41:24,000 - Not many. - I heard that girl... 688 00:41:24,020 --> 00:41:26,950 ... talking about it you said you're a vampire! 689 00:41:26,950 --> 00:41:27,960 Yeah, I told her. 690 00:41:28,030 --> 00:41:29,480 - Who else? - Who did you tell? 691 00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,060 Uh, I told her hot friend. 692 00:41:31,100 --> 00:41:34,080 You can't tell everyone that you're a vampire. 693 00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:34,960 Who's that guy? 694 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,960 I don't know but I trust him. 695 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,450 - You can't tell everyone. - I won't. 696 00:41:44,390 --> 00:41:46,410 Yeah, I've got a bit of an eye condition. 697 00:41:46,750 --> 00:41:47,800 What's wrong with them? 698 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,120 Um, vampire eyes. Can't go into the sun. 699 00:41:50,820 --> 00:41:52,840 Oh my God, are they your fangs? 700 00:41:53,090 --> 00:41:54,220 For real? 701 00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:55,470 For real, real. 702 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,000 Too real, real. 703 00:41:57,250 --> 00:41:58,450 I'm a vampire. 704 00:41:58,540 --> 00:41:59,680 - you're a vampire? - Yeah. 705 00:41:59,930 --> 00:42:02,790 - I'm a vampire hunter mate. - No you're not. 706 00:42:02,860 --> 00:42:04,670 - I am! - You fucking piece of shit. 707 00:42:04,830 --> 00:42:06,140 I'll Skype you! 708 00:42:06,220 --> 00:42:07,100 I float. 709 00:42:07,100 --> 00:42:08,640 - I can transform into stuff. - Same. 710 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,090 - No you can't. - Yeah. 711 00:42:11,090 --> 00:42:12,790 I'll show you. 712 00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,310 You show me. You show me some of your vampire stuff. 713 00:42:15,310 --> 00:42:16,430 What have I got? Um... 714 00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,260 Don't lie about transforming into shit. 715 00:42:30,970 --> 00:42:33,440 - Twilight! - Shut up Nick! 716 00:42:34,190 --> 00:42:35,610 You're not Twilight. 717 00:42:35,610 --> 00:42:37,730 - What's your problem? - You are my problem. 718 00:42:37,910 --> 00:42:39,940 Telling the world that we are vampires. 719 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,700 And I'll tell the whole world that you're an asshole now as well. 720 00:42:41,700 --> 00:42:42,800 Shut up! 721 00:42:43,930 --> 00:42:44,760 - Shut up! - Guys? 722 00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:45,870 - You shut up! - No, you shut up! 723 00:42:45,870 --> 00:42:47,350 - No, you shut up. - You shut up. 724 00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:48,560 I'm Dracula, man! 725 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:49,880 You're not Dracula! - I'm Dracula! 726 00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,420 You don't even know who Dracula is! 727 00:42:51,420 --> 00:42:52,360 You idiot! 728 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:59,010 - Ooh, bat fight! - Bat fight! Oh, yah, yah, yah! 729 00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:08,070 Ah, Deacon! 730 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,460 That wasn't fair, man! 731 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:12,920 My fucking jacket, man! 732 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,920 I don't care about your stupid jacket. 733 00:43:16,540 --> 00:43:18,790 - Deacon! - You okay man? 734 00:43:35,310 --> 00:43:37,330 - Hey Stu? - Mmm-hmm? 735 00:43:37,420 --> 00:43:40,280 How's your worms? 736 00:43:40,720 --> 00:43:41,790 Alright. 737 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:43,750 You're eating worms. 738 00:43:48,140 --> 00:43:51,280 Can you do that shit when you turn them into worms? 739 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:52,270 No. 740 00:43:52,340 --> 00:43:53,510 Doesn't work on chips. 741 00:43:53,510 --> 00:43:56,370 Only works on things that already look like worms. 742 00:43:56,550 --> 00:43:59,960 - Maybe noodles. Do you want some noodles? - He knows now. 743 00:44:01,450 --> 00:44:03,380 Oh no. I wouldn't eat that. 744 00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:07,210 Why? 745 00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:19,310 Are you okay Nick? 746 00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:22,160 Alright? 747 00:44:28,340 --> 00:44:29,730 He ate a chip. 748 00:44:29,940 --> 00:44:31,820 I can't eat solids now, great. 749 00:44:32,010 --> 00:44:33,320 I can't sunbathe. 750 00:44:33,350 --> 00:44:34,940 I can't watch daytime TV. 751 00:44:35,090 --> 00:44:37,010 I can if I...yeah I guess I could. 752 00:44:37,430 --> 00:44:39,180 More, more than anything, just the chips. 753 00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,100 My favorite food. I can't eat chips. 754 00:44:42,330 --> 00:44:43,860 I don't... it's just... 755 00:44:43,860 --> 00:44:44,820 I hate... 756 00:44:44,980 --> 00:44:46,990 I'll say it. I'm over being a vampire. It's shit. 757 00:44:47,620 --> 00:44:49,280 So, don't, don't believe the hype. 758 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:07,320 Jackie?! 759 00:45:10,240 --> 00:45:11,560 Jackie, can I come in please? 760 00:45:11,620 --> 00:45:13,760 - Okay, off to bed guys! - Hello children! 761 00:45:13,850 --> 00:45:16,440 - Don't look at the man. I hate when you look at the man. 762 00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,440 Natasha, Don't look at the man! 763 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:20,910 I was going to bite you tonight. 764 00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:21,800 Really? 765 00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:25,000 But now I can't because there's this Nick being a vampire. 766 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,190 Sorry, sorry, I thought you killed him 2 months ago. 767 00:45:27,190 --> 00:45:29,190 No, I didn't...no... he's a vampire. 768 00:45:29,210 --> 00:45:30,100 What do you mean? 769 00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,020 He jumped in front of your place. 770 00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:35,530 All I'm saying is that, um... 771 00:45:36,270 --> 00:45:37,960 You know if I had a penis, I would have been... 772 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,660 I would have been bitten years ago. 773 00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:41,510 I may have to penalize you. 774 00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,740 Perhaps another couple of years. Perhaps 10 years. 775 00:45:45,820 --> 00:45:46,440 Hmm? 776 00:45:46,660 --> 00:45:49,150 Like one big circle, just biting each others dicks. 777 00:45:49,300 --> 00:45:51,820 You know, they don't even wear shirts, they wear blouses. It's, it's just... 778 00:45:51,820 --> 00:45:54,540 ... a big homo-erotic dick biting club. 779 00:45:54,540 --> 00:45:57,880 And I'm stuck here, ironing their fucking frills. 780 00:45:58,060 --> 00:45:59,640 Also clean the bathroom, please. 781 00:45:59,740 --> 00:46:02,000 There's blood everywhere. It is gruesome. 782 00:46:02,700 --> 00:46:04,780 Okay. See you tomorrow. 783 00:46:09,540 --> 00:46:10,840 Off to bed please. 784 00:46:23,820 --> 00:46:25,620 Katherine. 785 00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,560 She was so charming and nice. 786 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,560 She was everything I wanted. 787 00:46:30,690 --> 00:46:32,480 Unfortunately... 788 00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:34,480 ... yeah, she was married. 789 00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:37,000 Sure, I wanted to kill the guy. 790 00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,320 I thought about, chopping his head off. 791 00:46:39,470 --> 00:46:42,900 Draining him of every drop of blood that he had. 792 00:46:42,990 --> 00:46:44,260 Who wouldn't? 793 00:46:45,380 --> 00:46:48,830 But then, I also saw how happy she was. 794 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,400 And that made me kind of happy. 795 00:46:53,180 --> 00:46:55,950 And I didn't want to ruin it for her, so... 796 00:46:56,020 --> 00:46:59,150 I did the honorable thing and I just... 797 00:46:59,310 --> 00:47:00,730 ... stepped back. 798 00:47:00,980 --> 00:47:03,000 And let her live her life. 799 00:47:28,430 --> 00:47:29,590 Petyr! 800 00:47:30,330 --> 00:47:31,200 Petyr! 801 00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:32,160 Where is it? 802 00:47:32,540 --> 00:47:33,280 Petyr! 803 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:34,360 Petyr! 804 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:35,380 Petyr! 805 00:47:37,710 --> 00:47:38,950 Get water! 806 00:47:39,710 --> 00:47:42,160 - Get out of the sunlight! - Get water! Get water! 807 00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,490 Get water! Petyr, get away from the sunlight! 808 00:47:44,490 --> 00:47:46,490 Get in the shadows, Petyr! 809 00:47:46,500 --> 00:47:48,030 Get out of the sunlight! 810 00:47:49,130 --> 00:47:50,880 Get out of my way! 811 00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:53,000 I'm going in! 812 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,070 I'm coming Petyr! 813 00:47:54,070 --> 00:47:56,110 - Deacon, no, it's sunlight! - I'm coming for you! 814 00:47:56,110 --> 00:47:58,220 It's sunlight out there! 815 00:47:58,240 --> 00:48:01,470 It's sunlight! It's sunlight. 816 00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:08,630 I was too late. 817 00:48:17,470 --> 00:48:19,270 Turn that thing off. 818 00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:23,300 Our friend has just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident. 819 00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:40,270 So this is what I think happened. 820 00:48:40,720 --> 00:48:42,530 The vampire hunter... 821 00:48:42,710 --> 00:48:44,620 ... has broken through the window, here. 822 00:48:45,620 --> 00:48:49,090 Has impacted the table. Breaking the table leg. 823 00:48:49,670 --> 00:48:51,400 Then he has come this way. 824 00:48:52,030 --> 00:48:53,970 Towards the tomb. 825 00:48:55,180 --> 00:48:55,970 Crucifix! 826 00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:57,810 Cover the crucifix! 827 00:49:00,720 --> 00:49:01,750 And then... 828 00:49:02,180 --> 00:49:04,470 ... Petyr has burst from the tomb. 829 00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,640 Pushed the tomb lid on to the vampire hunter. 830 00:49:07,930 --> 00:49:10,690 And then the sunlight has come through here. 831 00:49:10,770 --> 00:49:12,500 And burned Petyr alive. 832 00:49:13,300 --> 00:49:15,460 I think this is just a table leg, which is... 833 00:49:15,820 --> 00:49:16,680 ... sanded down. 834 00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:18,680 - Do you think he hand sanded that, or? - Yes. 835 00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,210 Imagine that, stuck in you... 836 00:49:21,380 --> 00:49:23,820 It's quite shocking down here, Nick. 837 00:49:23,870 --> 00:49:26,900 Look, here's our sweet Petyr. 838 00:49:26,900 --> 00:49:28,900 - Fuck! - Burnt to a sizzle. 839 00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:31,920 - I can't figure out this. - This is the vampire hunter. 840 00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:32,450 Is this his front? 841 00:49:32,450 --> 00:49:33,990 - Uh, who's this guy? - Look at his... 842 00:49:33,990 --> 00:49:36,130 ... bloody head, all back to front. 843 00:49:36,130 --> 00:49:38,130 Twist it the other way, the other way! 844 00:49:38,300 --> 00:49:40,880 Let's see who this guy is. 845 00:49:41,900 --> 00:49:44,720 - Uh!, typical macho type. - Yuck! 846 00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:45,660 It is. 847 00:49:45,780 --> 00:49:47,220 Oh, shit! 848 00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:49,210 I know that guy... 849 00:49:49,250 --> 00:49:51,140 - ...actually. - You know him? 850 00:49:51,140 --> 00:49:52,620 - Yeah. - What? 851 00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:54,360 I saw him the other night in town. 852 00:49:55,060 --> 00:49:56,330 Told him I was a vampire. 853 00:49:56,330 --> 00:49:56,810 WHAT?! 854 00:49:56,810 --> 00:49:59,050 I thought he was joking. He said he was a vampire hunter. 855 00:49:59,100 --> 00:50:01,380 You let a vampire hunter into our house? 856 00:50:01,380 --> 00:50:04,200 - I didn't let him in, I just gave him my e-mail. - Nick! 857 00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,190 I'll tear out your tongue... 858 00:50:06,210 --> 00:50:07,760 ...and shove it down your ass. 859 00:50:10,150 --> 00:50:11,490 Fucking hell! 860 00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,990 You killed Petyr with your big mouth! 861 00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:29,600 It was a mistake! 862 00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,180 Get up and stand on this ceiling like a man. 863 00:50:40,140 --> 00:50:41,470 We can talk about this,okay? 864 00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:42,350 We can talk about this! 865 00:50:42,350 --> 00:50:44,640 - I'll kill you! - I'm already dead! 866 00:50:45,050 --> 00:50:46,770 Stu, stay back! 867 00:50:50,410 --> 00:50:52,950 Shh! Sshh!, someone's at the door, shh! 868 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,450 I'll go, I'll go.. 869 00:51:01,720 --> 00:51:03,000 Oh shit. 870 00:51:04,940 --> 00:51:07,000 - Good evening, sir. - Hello police. 871 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,520 Hi, I'm constable O'Leary. This is constable Minogue. 872 00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:13,140 We're just responding to a report of a possible forced entry and also... 873 00:51:13,290 --> 00:51:15,060 ... a rather large amount of shrieking. 874 00:51:15,060 --> 00:51:17,560 Just, um, wondering maybe we could come in and just have a wee look around? 875 00:51:17,980 --> 00:51:19,060 Okay. 876 00:51:19,340 --> 00:51:21,560 What's with the fellow? What's with the um, camera? 877 00:51:21,770 --> 00:51:23,990 Yeah, we're obviously just here cause there was a phone call 878 00:51:23,990 --> 00:51:26,420 from the, a member of the public, um, about a bit of disturbance. 879 00:51:26,620 --> 00:51:28,620 Um, some loud noises. 880 00:51:28,750 --> 00:51:30,470 - Possibly a forced entry, wasn't there? - Mmm... 881 00:51:30,780 --> 00:51:32,720 And, also, maybe a bit of smoke coming out, so... 882 00:51:32,820 --> 00:51:35,260 We're just checking over the scene. Making sure every thing's uh... 883 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:37,340 You know, above board, so to speak, and uh... 884 00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,210 Making sure no-one's in danger, that kind of thing. 885 00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,060 We might go up and have a wee look up there, if that's alright with you? 886 00:51:42,580 --> 00:51:44,720 - Come on mate, you lead the way. - Just uh...part of the job. Yep! 887 00:51:46,100 --> 00:51:47,120 Okay. 888 00:51:47,260 --> 00:51:49,180 - Smells a bit weird in here too, mate. - Yeah. 889 00:51:49,220 --> 00:51:50,750 What do you call that? 890 00:51:52,490 --> 00:51:54,000 Barbecue. 891 00:51:56,970 --> 00:52:00,550 You will not notice anything out of the ordinary. 892 00:52:01,020 --> 00:52:02,900 No, we certainly hope not. Let's just... 893 00:52:02,940 --> 00:52:04,380 ...lets just keep going. 894 00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,830 - Hi there guys. How are yah? - Hello. 895 00:52:06,850 --> 00:52:07,850 Hey fellas. 896 00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,600 Um, is this the room where we've heard all the shouting coming from? 897 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:11,850 That was me. 898 00:52:11,970 --> 00:52:14,210 Yeah, okay, we've had a couple reports, okay? 899 00:52:14,210 --> 00:52:16,190 There's a couple of people not all that happy about the level of the noise here. 900 00:52:16,190 --> 00:52:16,630 Okay. 901 00:52:16,660 --> 00:52:20,480 You can't be screaming when there's this many people around mate. You've got neighbors on either side. 902 00:52:20,580 --> 00:52:21,640 Feeling nervous. 903 00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:23,640 I've hypnotized those cops. 904 00:52:23,700 --> 00:52:27,070 I'm not a great hypnotizer so it could wear off any second. 905 00:52:27,230 --> 00:52:29,720 I really hope that those guys don't kill those police 906 00:52:29,780 --> 00:52:31,700 because then this means more police will come. 907 00:52:31,700 --> 00:52:36,120 Possibly even Christians which is totally the last things we need in this house. 908 00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:38,590 I can see you're having a good time. End of the day... 909 00:52:38,770 --> 00:52:40,330 ... we got to keep the, uh, the peace, okay? 910 00:52:40,330 --> 00:52:41,700 Whoa, whoa, whoa... 911 00:52:42,630 --> 00:52:43,880 See what I'm seeing? 912 00:52:44,020 --> 00:52:45,170 What's that Minogue? 913 00:52:46,340 --> 00:52:47,650 You're joking? 914 00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:50,330 Not a smoke alarm in sight. 915 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:51,740 No smoke detectors, mate? 916 00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,460 Rule number 1: 917 00:52:53,690 --> 00:52:55,060 Smoke detectors. 918 00:52:55,330 --> 00:52:55,920 Okay. 919 00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,360 Rule number 2: maybe not so many barbeque's inside. 920 00:52:58,740 --> 00:52:59,940 - Sort it out fellas. - Okay. 921 00:53:00,460 --> 00:53:02,820 - Barbeque smells really strong down here, isn't it? 922 00:53:02,820 --> 00:53:03,830 What kind of marinade? 923 00:53:03,830 --> 00:53:05,250 - What kind of marinade you use? Who's this guy? 924 00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:07,020 Um... 925 00:53:07,020 --> 00:53:09,940 It's a friend who came to our party. 926 00:53:09,940 --> 00:53:11,280 Mate, you alright? 927 00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:12,780 - He's drunk. - That's what I thought. 928 00:53:12,780 --> 00:53:14,140 Drunk guy. 929 00:53:14,140 --> 00:53:16,390 Look, you can't just leave him down here like that, okay? 930 00:53:16,530 --> 00:53:18,060 This guy's not having a good time. 931 00:53:18,060 --> 00:53:19,720 He's gonna feel terrible tomorrow morning. 932 00:53:19,720 --> 00:53:21,720 Well, his soul is in hell, so don't worry. 933 00:53:21,860 --> 00:53:24,780 Well, I don't know where's his soul's is, but all I am saying is where's his blanket? 934 00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:26,720 There's a big slab of concrete on him. 935 00:53:26,900 --> 00:53:29,310 - Yeah. - You can move that. - It's definitely not going to be comfortable. 936 00:53:29,310 --> 00:53:31,310 - Anything else, in here Minogue? - No, I've seen enough. 937 00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:32,930 - Okay. - Hang on a minute. 938 00:53:33,630 --> 00:53:34,970 What have we got here? 939 00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,070 - Yeah, what is that? - This? 940 00:53:38,380 --> 00:53:40,260 - Oh, this? - You can see this clearly as I can. 941 00:53:40,530 --> 00:53:41,660 Adhesive, mate. 942 00:53:41,770 --> 00:53:43,200 That's a flammable. 943 00:53:43,380 --> 00:53:44,990 And then you got a lamp on top of that. - Gee. 944 00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:46,920 Directly underneath the power source. 945 00:53:47,010 --> 00:53:49,200 - That is quite bad. - It's very bad. 946 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:50,940 - It's a very bad combination -And no smoke detectors again are there? 947 00:53:50,990 --> 00:53:53,010 - No. - Yes, there are. 948 00:53:53,050 --> 00:53:55,150 - Yes, there are. - Okay, there are. 949 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,520 Lots to think about guys. 950 00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:58,850 - Yeah, lots to think about there guys. - Next flat-meeting, yeah. 951 00:53:58,940 --> 00:54:00,820 Yeah, good thinking, that's the thing, just... 952 00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:03,010 - ... have a bit of dialogue about it. - Okay. 953 00:54:03,230 --> 00:54:05,350 - They've got a really good point. - Wait! 954 00:54:05,350 --> 00:54:06,550 Let's kill them. 955 00:54:06,850 --> 00:54:08,920 - No... - Well, let's just see what other safety... 956 00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:11,190 ...points they have and then maybe we can. 957 00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:22,140 I call into session, 958 00:54:22,260 --> 00:54:23,720 this trial of Nick, 959 00:54:23,860 --> 00:54:25,140 of Wellington. 960 00:54:30,250 --> 00:54:31,970 Read the charges. 961 00:54:32,430 --> 00:54:34,290 Problems we have with Nick. 962 00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:36,560 Number 1: 963 00:54:36,830 --> 00:54:38,750 You brought a human into our house. 964 00:54:38,850 --> 00:54:41,980 - Which is a big no-no in the vampire world. - Stu is, Stu is okay though? 965 00:54:41,990 --> 00:54:44,240 Yeah, Stu is fine, so I guess we'll just... 966 00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:45,740 ... cross that one out. 967 00:54:46,150 --> 00:54:47,040 Uh... 968 00:54:50,720 --> 00:54:52,410 - Thank you Stu. - Thank you Stu. 969 00:54:52,430 --> 00:54:53,210 So... 970 00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:54,740 The new number 1: 971 00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:57,720 Nick's been telling people he's a vampire. 972 00:54:57,870 --> 00:55:00,670 That in turn resulted in... 973 00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:04,180 ... an unwanted visit from a vampire hunter. 974 00:55:04,210 --> 00:55:05,760 Crime number 2: 975 00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,760 This is quite a biggie, Nick. 976 00:55:08,050 --> 00:55:10,660 The vampire hunter who killed Petyr. 977 00:55:11,690 --> 00:55:14,940 That's... that actually should've... that should have been crime number one 978 00:55:14,940 --> 00:55:16,940 but we wanted to build up to that. 979 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:18,220 Number 3: 980 00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:21,870 Deacon doesn't like that your wear the same jackets as him. 981 00:55:22,030 --> 00:55:25,220 And he would like you to find your own original style. 982 00:55:26,010 --> 00:55:28,030 For these crimes of which 983 00:55:28,030 --> 00:55:31,430 we the vampire council find you guilty... 984 00:55:31,580 --> 00:55:33,760 ... you should be banished from our flat... 985 00:55:33,950 --> 00:55:35,320 ...indefinitely. 986 00:55:35,570 --> 00:55:37,410 - Indefinitely. - Indefinitely. 987 00:55:37,410 --> 00:55:38,360 So I can come back? 988 00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:41,880 - One day? - No, no, indefinitely means, there is no end. 989 00:55:42,030 --> 00:55:43,140 I thought there was like... 990 00:55:43,140 --> 00:55:45,970 No, indefinite means that it's not a definite thing. 991 00:55:45,970 --> 00:55:47,530 - It can be changed - Yeah, but it's long. 992 00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:49,040 Could be tomorrow, it could be 6 months. 993 00:55:49,060 --> 00:55:50,810 - NO! No, it is not tomorrow! - It cannot be tomorrow! 994 00:55:50,810 --> 00:55:52,420 - Forget about it, at least 6 moths. - Banished! 995 00:55:52,450 --> 00:55:53,340 You are banished. 996 00:55:53,340 --> 00:55:55,580 But Stu, you can visit if you like. 997 00:55:55,580 --> 00:55:56,680 Thank you. 998 00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:58,890 For your crimes... 999 00:55:59,220 --> 00:56:01,000 ... you will be made to suffer... 1000 00:56:01,240 --> 00:56:02,510 ... the procession... 1001 00:56:02,510 --> 00:56:03,610 ... of shame. 1002 00:56:03,780 --> 00:56:06,880 I asked them Nick, I asked them not to pass that sentence. 1003 00:56:06,890 --> 00:56:08,440 We should do this immediately. 1004 00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:10,440 - In my opinion. - You didn't ask. 1005 00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:12,720 You didn't ask. You were saying yes. 1006 00:56:16,500 --> 00:56:18,200 - I did... - Well, this is what's going to happen. 1007 00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,200 I still think it's quite extreme. 1008 00:56:20,980 --> 00:56:23,400 Let us do the procession of shame. 1009 00:56:23,570 --> 00:56:24,390 Now. 1010 00:56:26,810 --> 00:56:27,560 - Shame. - Shame! 1011 00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:29,880 Shame. Shame. Shame! 1012 00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:30,760 Shame! 1013 00:56:30,870 --> 00:56:32,150 - Shame. - Bad vampire! 1014 00:56:32,150 --> 00:56:33,130 Shame. 1015 00:56:34,740 --> 00:56:35,960 Should we go Stu? 1016 00:56:41,300 --> 00:56:42,800 Bye Stu. 1017 00:56:59,300 --> 00:57:00,740 That was a shame. 1018 00:57:24,630 --> 00:57:27,760 So today we have, an invitation. 1019 00:57:28,310 --> 00:57:30,840 To the big event of the year. 1020 00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:32,840 Breaking it open. 1021 00:57:33,260 --> 00:57:34,970 They have burnt the edges... 1022 00:57:34,970 --> 00:57:38,280 - ...like a treasure map or something. - It looks very authentic, doesn't it? 1023 00:57:38,900 --> 00:57:40,470 'Dearly departed...' 1024 00:57:40,820 --> 00:57:42,060 That's us. 1025 00:57:42,690 --> 00:57:46,130 'The Wellington Vampire Association in conjunction with the 1026 00:57:46,130 --> 00:57:48,130 Lower Hut Vampire Witch Club 1027 00:57:48,130 --> 00:57:51,150 and the Kuori Zombie Society... 1028 00:57:51,150 --> 00:57:57,870 invite you to attend The Unholy Masquerade on the night of the 6th of June... 1029 00:57:58,130 --> 00:58:01,120 ... starting at 6 PM.' 1030 00:58:02,250 --> 00:58:04,460 - 666... - Oh, yeah... 1031 00:58:04,460 --> 00:58:09,080 The Unholy Masquerade of course is great time for the undead community of Wellington. 1032 00:58:09,090 --> 00:58:15,230 There's zombies there. Vampires, banshees, all having a dance together. 1033 00:58:15,360 --> 00:58:16,950 It's always a big deal for me. 1034 00:58:17,430 --> 00:58:18,180 Love it. 1035 00:58:18,180 --> 00:58:21,740 One year I went to The Unholy Masquerade dressed as 1036 00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:25,320 Whoopi Goldberg from uh, Sister Act... 1037 00:58:25,490 --> 00:58:28,420 ... 1 and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit. 1038 00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:31,930 Didn't go down so well because she was a nun. 1039 00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:35,440 Vampires don't like nuns. 1040 00:58:35,660 --> 00:58:38,330 Of course the big deal of The Unholy Masquerade 1041 00:58:38,330 --> 00:58:41,060 is that every year they announce the guest of honor. 1042 00:58:41,060 --> 00:58:43,060 And...um... 1043 00:58:43,060 --> 00:58:45,500 I don't know if I should be saying this but... 1044 00:58:46,220 --> 00:58:47,770 I heard a little rumor 1045 00:58:47,770 --> 00:58:50,810 that the guest of honor this year... 1046 00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:53,730 ... might be me. 1047 00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:55,630 The location... 1048 00:58:55,940 --> 00:58:58,230 - Oh, yeah, where is it? - Where's the location? 1049 00:58:58,250 --> 00:58:59,610 Cathedral of Despair. 1050 00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:02,020 And the guest of honor will be... 1051 00:59:05,490 --> 00:59:07,440 Who is it? Show me. 1052 00:59:14,060 --> 00:59:14,900 Hmm. 1053 00:59:16,380 --> 00:59:17,550 Okay. 1054 00:59:18,260 --> 00:59:19,210 Okay. 1055 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:23,140 - Okay. Okay, that's fine. That's fine. - Okay? 1056 00:59:29,580 --> 00:59:30,610 Vladislav... 1057 00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:32,660 ... has... 1058 00:59:32,660 --> 00:59:37,800 ... just had a reaction to the information that the guest of honor will be... 1059 00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:40,040 ... um... The Beast. 1060 00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:45,640 The darkest part of my mind 1061 00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:47,640 is reserved to The Beast. 1062 00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:49,640 We could tell you a thing or two about The Beast. 1063 00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:52,550 You should pray that you never have to see The Beast. 1064 00:59:52,550 --> 00:59:54,350 This one is called The Beast. 1065 00:59:54,350 --> 00:59:57,440 And I said, 'Get you hands off my balls, Beast!' 1066 00:59:57,440 --> 00:59:59,920 He may have told you some stories about his 1067 00:59:59,920 --> 01:00:01,850 great battle with The Beast. 1068 01:00:01,850 --> 01:00:04,040 Yeah, oh, 'I fought The Beast on a cliff.' 1069 01:00:04,130 --> 01:00:06,700 Oh... 'I fought The Beast in a swamp.' 1070 01:00:07,100 --> 01:00:10,900 'One time I fought The Beast in the toilets of a night club.' 1071 01:00:11,460 --> 01:00:12,880 Difficult battle. 1072 01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,670 I hope you never see The Beast. 1073 01:00:16,710 --> 01:00:18,550 The Beast. 1074 01:00:27,540 --> 01:00:29,520 You can't go to the the ball as Blade. 1075 01:00:29,570 --> 01:00:30,780 He's a vampire hunter. 1076 01:00:30,850 --> 01:00:33,300 Yeah, but vampires love Wesley Snipes. 1077 01:00:33,300 --> 01:00:34,900 No, it's inappropriate. 1078 01:00:34,950 --> 01:00:36,970 Okay, Vlad? The Green Jaunters, 1079 01:00:36,970 --> 01:00:39,140 or the black leather with the dragon belt? 1080 01:00:39,270 --> 01:00:42,270 - Just wear the pants you want to wear... - We're having a mild crisis here. - which pants do you want to wear? 1081 01:00:42,270 --> 01:00:44,700 Just look at the pants Vlad! Turn around & look at the pants! 1082 01:00:44,700 --> 01:00:45,700 They're just pants! 1083 01:00:45,700 --> 01:00:47,490 - Shit, man! - Holy shit! 1084 01:00:47,930 --> 01:00:49,240 Oh, you look terrible. 1085 01:00:49,380 --> 01:00:50,770 The black pants. 1086 01:00:50,850 --> 01:00:52,300 Thank you. Get dressed! 1087 01:00:52,300 --> 01:00:54,580 I don't know if I feel up to it, really. 1088 01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:57,770 You don't look that great but if you eat someone on the way... 1089 01:00:57,770 --> 01:01:00,560 and rejuvenate a little bit? - You could probably wear a mask or something. 1090 01:01:00,560 --> 01:01:03,980 Just leave me to do my dark bidding on the Internet! 1091 01:01:04,050 --> 01:01:05,200 What are you biding on? 1092 01:01:05,590 --> 01:01:07,470 I'm bidding on a table. 1093 01:01:07,470 --> 01:01:09,470 - Are you coming or not? - Not. 1094 01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:11,850 I'm gonna go change. We're leaving in 10 minutes. 1095 01:01:12,020 --> 01:01:13,960 Have a good time! 1096 01:01:30,540 --> 01:01:34,630 We, we tend often, you know... without giving into that kind of... 1097 01:01:34,770 --> 01:01:37,410 stuff which I'm really sick of that but you know... 1098 01:01:37,410 --> 01:01:39,850 It just that, it's harder for us to chase... 1099 01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:41,350 chase people down. 1100 01:01:41,350 --> 01:01:43,850 Can I, Can I introduce um... 1101 01:01:43,850 --> 01:01:46,830 - Gary...Gary and Alisha. - Hi, how are you? 1102 01:01:46,830 --> 01:01:47,800 Hi. 1103 01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:51,690 - Hi. - Less groaning, less groaning guys. 1104 01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:55,400 So we are at The Unholy Masquerade. 1105 01:01:55,660 --> 01:01:56,810 It's great. 1106 01:01:57,110 --> 01:01:58,520 This is my mask. 1107 01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,190 Which I made for the occasion. 1108 01:02:01,940 --> 01:02:03,250 Hey! 1109 01:02:03,550 --> 01:02:05,800 - Jackie. -Yeah! 1110 01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:08,020 - This is undead party. - Yeah, I'm a vampire. 1111 01:02:08,020 --> 01:02:08,900 You have your?.. 1112 01:02:08,900 --> 01:02:10,280 I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire! 1113 01:02:11,660 --> 01:02:12,680 - Great. - Yeah, yeah. 1114 01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:15,070 - So, um, who bit you? - Oh, Nick. 1115 01:02:15,660 --> 01:02:17,220 - Oh great. - Yeah. - Right 1116 01:02:17,220 --> 01:02:18,180 Okay. 1117 01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:19,380 Deacon! 1118 01:02:21,900 --> 01:02:24,360 Pretty rude, because she was my... 1119 01:02:24,660 --> 01:02:25,350 ... servant. 1120 01:02:25,350 --> 01:02:27,320 She was a pretty useless servant. 1121 01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:29,890 - I wouldn't...worry about that. - Yeah, yeah, but still, I would have been... 1122 01:02:29,890 --> 01:02:31,640 ... appreciated if you'd asked... 1123 01:02:31,640 --> 01:02:32,930 How's Stu? 1124 01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:34,400 - He's good, he's there. 1125 01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:36,400 - Oh, he's here? - Stu! STU! 1126 01:02:37,550 --> 01:02:38,750 Hey, hey!..how are you? 1127 01:02:38,750 --> 01:02:39,990 Hey! 1128 01:02:41,460 --> 01:02:44,530 Has anyone looked at you like they want to eat you, at all? 1129 01:02:44,740 --> 01:02:46,350 Ah, no... 1130 01:02:46,350 --> 01:02:48,350 Can you hear me at the back? 1131 01:02:48,390 --> 01:02:51,410 On behalf of the Wellington Vampire Society... 1132 01:02:51,730 --> 01:02:55,680 ... uh, the Lower Hut Vampire and Witch Club. 1133 01:02:55,680 --> 01:03:00,410 And the Kurory Zombie society, we welcome you here tonight. 1134 01:03:00,580 --> 01:03:04,220 And we're raffling a live meat pack this year, um you can inspect 1135 01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:06,520 the prize over here to my left. 1136 01:03:06,640 --> 01:03:07,980 It's a wonderful prize. 1137 01:03:07,980 --> 01:03:12,550 Tickets are only 10 dollars each or 45 dollars for a book of five. 1138 01:03:12,890 --> 01:03:16,460 Now without further adieu, it's my very great pleasure 1139 01:03:16,550 --> 01:03:19,950 to introduce to you this years guest of honor. 1140 01:03:20,070 --> 01:03:22,460 Pauline Ivanovich! 1141 01:03:24,050 --> 01:03:25,250 Thank you. 1142 01:03:28,400 --> 01:03:29,860 That's The Beast. 1143 01:03:29,860 --> 01:03:30,700 Thank you. 1144 01:03:30,730 --> 01:03:35,090 The Beast is, uh, the name I gave to my ex-girlfriend Pauline. 1145 01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:37,130 She prefers Pauline. 1146 01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:40,140 We had a very intense relationship. 1147 01:03:40,140 --> 01:03:41,200 We were very... 1148 01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:43,650 ... sexually explosive. 1149 01:03:43,820 --> 01:03:48,990 Last time I saw her, she impaled me and called me an asshole. 1150 01:03:48,990 --> 01:03:50,060 She said... 1151 01:03:50,370 --> 01:03:53,000 ... all kinds of things that really hurt me. 1152 01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:56,820 And all this while I was impaled on a lamp post. 1153 01:03:57,100 --> 01:04:02,330 Well, everyone, I will be mingling around and I really hope that... 1154 01:04:02,890 --> 01:04:05,020 ... I will meet... 1155 01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:07,090 ... all of you. 1156 01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:23,800 Hello. 1157 01:04:23,800 --> 01:04:25,220 That's the new guy. 1158 01:04:25,860 --> 01:04:30,020 I don't know What, what kind of vampire he is... if he is a vampire. Did you see his face? 1159 01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:33,130 Oh... oh. 1160 01:04:34,060 --> 01:04:36,250 - Hello! - Hi, how are you? 1161 01:04:36,250 --> 01:04:38,510 - This is Deacon. - Hello Deacon. 1162 01:04:38,510 --> 01:04:40,510 - This is Stu. - Good day Stu. 1163 01:04:40,610 --> 01:04:41,920 - How are you my friend? - Good. 1164 01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:42,900 Hi. Stu. 1165 01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:45,210 You got really warm hands Stu. 1166 01:04:45,350 --> 01:04:47,040 You a demon? 1167 01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:50,280 - No, he's not a demon! - I'm a software analyst, I work... 1168 01:04:50,280 --> 01:04:53,000 - Stu, Stu, Stu... - A male witch, you're a male witch? 1169 01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,060 Stu, you should go dance, uh, with anyone. 1170 01:04:55,060 --> 01:04:56,740 - Sure. - Okay, take your time. 1171 01:04:56,740 --> 01:05:01,560 I like Stu. He's not vampire, so he's what, zombie or?... 1172 01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:03,130 - A male witch? - He's not... 1173 01:05:03,130 --> 01:05:06,830 He not uh... he's neither, he's uh... more of a human. 1174 01:05:08,650 --> 01:05:11,250 Excuse me, excuse me. Hi, Nick, hey. 1175 01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:12,940 Um, Nick... 1176 01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:16,520 Do you mind if Stu is killed? 1177 01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:18,330 Uh, I don't feel that good about it. 1178 01:05:18,330 --> 01:05:22,780 Can I, can I just ask you, you know, a... 1179 01:05:22,780 --> 01:05:24,280 - ... a personal question? - Sure. 1180 01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:27,570 Are you, um.... 1181 01:05:28,830 --> 01:05:31,820 ... are you, are you, are you pre-deceased? 1182 01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,140 Uh... 1183 01:05:35,050 --> 01:05:38,240 If anyone's gonna eat him it's gonna be us but we're not, we're past that. 1184 01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:39,800 They can just go fuck themselves. 1185 01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:41,340 Nick! It is your fault. 1186 01:05:41,340 --> 01:05:45,370 Okay? You brought a human into this den of vampress nest. 1187 01:05:45,370 --> 01:05:47,070 - You're not helping. - Yes, you did. 1188 01:05:47,070 --> 01:05:49,780 - Plus one. - Lovely talking to you, I've got to shoot off now. 1189 01:05:49,780 --> 01:05:51,130 See you later on. 1190 01:05:56,100 --> 01:05:59,360 As soon as one vampire takes a bite, it's a frenzy! 1191 01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:00,590 - A frenzy! - Okay, we've got to get him out. 1192 01:06:00,590 --> 01:06:02,530 Okay, follow me, follow me. 1193 01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:05,200 Excuse me, sorry guys. 1194 01:06:05,460 --> 01:06:06,520 Okay, Stu. 1195 01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:08,890 Put that over your red face. 1196 01:06:09,220 --> 01:06:11,160 - Just going out for a cigarette. - Oh, hey! 1197 01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:13,160 - Okay, not that way. - This way. 1198 01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:15,160 - This way. - Is there another way? 1199 01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:19,630 - Back away from the vampires. - Guys... 1200 01:06:19,630 --> 01:06:20,860 Excuse me everyone! 1201 01:06:20,860 --> 01:06:23,140 Can I have your attention please. 1202 01:06:23,950 --> 01:06:28,880 Some of the vampires forget Unholy Masquerade rules. 1203 01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:30,880 They brought a human. 1204 01:06:31,360 --> 01:06:36,130 And they don't let us to feast on him. 1205 01:06:37,480 --> 01:06:39,470 This was a total misunderstanding. 1206 01:06:39,470 --> 01:06:42,950 There was on the invitation, and this actually pertains to you... 1207 01:06:42,950 --> 01:06:44,640 ... the invitation, it said, 1208 01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:47,000 - plus one, but it did not specify... - Okay. 1209 01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:48,780 - Hey mate,look... - If it could be a human or 1210 01:06:48,780 --> 01:06:50,010 if it could be werewolf or... 1211 01:06:50,010 --> 01:06:52,610 Yeah, but he could be a vampire hunter for all we know. 1212 01:06:52,610 --> 01:06:55,620 He could texting his mates, saying, 'I've got them all in the one place, 1213 01:06:55,620 --> 01:06:57,830 ,,,come on over, we'll have a vampire barbecue!' 1214 01:06:58,100 --> 01:06:59,760 Well, he's not, he's not doing that. 1215 01:07:00,060 --> 01:07:01,220 How do we know that? 1216 01:07:01,220 --> 01:07:02,810 He's wearing a bow-tie, look at him! 1217 01:07:02,810 --> 01:07:04,000 Stu, tell them what you do. 1218 01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:06,440 Come on Stu! Tell us what you do. Come on. 1219 01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:07,810 Tell them what you do, Stu. 1220 01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:10,070 - Hi, my name is Stu uh... - Don't fuck it up, man. 1221 01:07:10,070 --> 01:07:11,170 - I can't hear Stu. - Louder, louder! 1222 01:07:11,170 --> 01:07:13,500 Hi, my name is Stu, uh, I work in... 1223 01:07:13,500 --> 01:07:14,400 - I can't hear... - Louder. 1224 01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:16,170 Stu they can't hear, they cannot hear you. 1225 01:07:16,220 --> 01:07:21,060 Hi, my name is Stu. I'm a software analyst. I work for a geographic information systems company. 1226 01:07:21,100 --> 01:07:22,530 -Uh... - Sorry, what is it? 1227 01:07:22,670 --> 01:07:24,740 I work for a company that does um... 1228 01:07:24,740 --> 01:07:28,250 ...basically we take like business requirements from organizations... 1229 01:07:28,250 --> 01:07:32,260 ...and we analyze those requirements and then we build software... 1230 01:07:32,300 --> 01:07:33,480 ...to fit those requirements. 1231 01:07:33,870 --> 01:07:36,140 He is a virgin. He is a virgin! 1232 01:07:36,140 --> 01:07:39,240 - I can smell a virgin at a thousand paces. - Go on then. 1233 01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:42,540 Go a thousand paces away and smell yourselves! 1234 01:07:42,580 --> 01:07:44,390 I can't wait anymore. 1235 01:07:57,280 --> 01:08:00,160 There shall be no eating of the human. 1236 01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:01,740 Who are you all of a sudden? 1237 01:08:01,740 --> 01:08:04,680 You have forgotten your former lover. 1238 01:08:04,730 --> 01:08:06,350 So quickly. 1239 01:08:09,480 --> 01:08:10,760 Georgie? 1240 01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:12,760 No, not... 1241 01:08:12,760 --> 01:08:15,570 ... Georgie, like, 5-years after him. 1242 01:08:15,570 --> 01:08:16,490 No. 1243 01:08:16,790 --> 01:08:18,260 Wait a minute. 1244 01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:19,960 Just one moment. 1245 01:08:20,060 --> 01:08:21,000 No... 1246 01:08:21,390 --> 01:08:23,810 No, I've got it, that's got it, take it away... 1247 01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:28,380 Hello Beast. 1248 01:08:28,380 --> 01:08:29,700 Hello asshole. 1249 01:08:29,700 --> 01:08:32,870 - Hey, don't call me asshole! - Don't call me... 1250 01:08:32,870 --> 01:08:36,160 ... Beast. This is Vladislav. - This is absolutely the same. This is my ex-boyfriend. 1251 01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:39,410 - You know, the one who fucked the police... - Alright, that's old business, that's... 1252 01:08:39,410 --> 01:08:40,400 - ... old business, that'spersonal business. - Yeah. 1253 01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:42,640 - Nice to meet you asshole. - This is my lover. 1254 01:08:42,640 --> 01:08:45,040 You will not feast on the blood of the human known as Stu. 1255 01:08:45,040 --> 01:08:47,580 Listen asshole, this is a human and 1256 01:08:47,580 --> 01:08:49,720 this is the rules and what is cameras doing here? 1257 01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:51,920 One, and then another one, what is this? 1258 01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:53,720 They're making a documentary on... 1259 01:08:53,720 --> 01:08:55,330 This is a private secret society mate, 1260 01:08:55,330 --> 01:08:57,580 you don't go bringing your bloody cameras into everything. 1261 01:08:57,580 --> 01:09:00,390 You will not eat Stu and you will not eat the camera guy. 1262 01:09:00,390 --> 01:09:03,290 - Maybe one camera guy... - I'm up to bloody here, with you at the moment. 1263 01:09:03,290 --> 01:09:05,770 And all your mates behind there, whoever the hell they are. 1264 01:09:05,770 --> 01:09:07,460 We're gonna eat the human being. 1265 01:09:07,460 --> 01:09:09,330 And there's nothing you can do about it, alright? 1266 01:09:09,330 --> 01:09:10,340 Now back off! 1267 01:09:10,340 --> 01:09:11,960 And let my missus get her way. 1268 01:09:11,960 --> 01:09:13,720 Oh, there's nothing I can do about it? 1269 01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:15,700 - That's right. - Well, what about this? 1270 01:09:16,850 --> 01:09:19,370 Diego, rip his head off. 1271 01:09:19,640 --> 01:09:20,940 What do you want?! 1272 01:09:21,350 --> 01:09:23,040 Vampire fight! 1273 01:09:23,770 --> 01:09:25,160 Get him Vladislav! 1274 01:09:38,600 --> 01:09:40,460 Rip his head off! 1275 01:09:40,460 --> 01:09:41,620 He's killing him! 1276 01:09:41,620 --> 01:09:44,120 It is forbidden for vampires... 1277 01:09:44,120 --> 01:09:45,700 ... to kill a vampire. 1278 01:09:48,230 --> 01:09:50,380 - What the f... - Bloody Hell! 1279 01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:53,160 What? 1280 01:09:53,930 --> 01:09:56,680 Are you okay, love? Get out! 1281 01:09:57,030 --> 01:09:58,920 We should probably go Stu. 1282 01:09:59,850 --> 01:10:01,620 It was great to see you, 1283 01:10:01,620 --> 01:10:03,620 - Pauline. - Asshole! 1284 01:10:03,630 --> 01:10:04,480 Bastard! 1285 01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:08,010 - That was very... how we both... - He's a murderer! 1286 01:10:08,010 --> 01:10:11,620 We both, together, equally destroyed that guy! 1287 01:10:11,620 --> 01:10:14,240 Yeah, but it was more Stu with the giant stick! 1288 01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:17,120 I hope this doesn't make this awkward for you and The Beast. 1289 01:10:17,570 --> 01:10:20,360 No, I think it's opened up new possibilities. 1290 01:10:20,470 --> 01:10:22,160 Oh, no. 1291 01:10:22,520 --> 01:10:24,880 - Here we go again. - Here we go again 1292 01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:26,880 Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu! 1293 01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:28,940 Stu, Stu, STU! 1294 01:10:28,940 --> 01:10:31,220 Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu... 1295 01:10:31,220 --> 01:10:34,210 - Stuuu... Stuuu... - Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop! 1296 01:10:34,210 --> 01:10:35,510 Listen, listen! 1297 01:10:35,950 --> 01:10:37,150 You smell that? 1298 01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:40,020 This way. 1299 01:10:41,490 --> 01:10:42,750 Werewolves. 1300 01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:46,100 - Oh, no. - Look what the cat dragged in, huh? 1301 01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:48,780 - Piss off! - Keep walking. Don't hassle us tonight. 1302 01:10:48,780 --> 01:10:50,780 There has been no hassle here. 1303 01:10:50,870 --> 01:10:52,450 Well, let it stay that way. 1304 01:10:52,450 --> 01:10:54,050 Keep chaining yourselves up! 1305 01:10:54,300 --> 01:10:56,050 Guys, where's your tracksuit pants? 1306 01:10:56,050 --> 01:10:57,640 It was washing night. 1307 01:10:57,640 --> 01:10:59,960 My missus couldn't wash them cause there was too much blood on them, so... 1308 01:10:59,960 --> 01:11:02,360 When your legs expand they grow into the track suit. 1309 01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:04,770 - Oh! - Those jeans are gonna rip completely! 1310 01:11:04,770 --> 01:11:06,490 You've lost all those trousers, guys? 1311 01:11:06,630 --> 01:11:08,710 Declan, that tree's far too thin! 1312 01:11:08,710 --> 01:11:10,050 Look at it! It's like a branch! 1313 01:11:10,050 --> 01:11:12,430 You know how big you get when you transform! 1314 01:11:12,430 --> 01:11:14,430 That's the wrong tree for you. 1315 01:11:14,940 --> 01:11:16,000 Anton, I've... 1316 01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:18,220 Oh, no, you've forgotten the combination. 1317 01:11:18,590 --> 01:11:20,310 Why did you get a combination lock? 1318 01:11:20,310 --> 01:11:21,720 I lost my key last time. 1319 01:11:21,830 --> 01:11:24,610 Okay, well, it's probably 4 zeros, that's the factory setting, is it? 1320 01:11:24,610 --> 01:11:26,340 - Fuck off to a tree. - Hey! 1321 01:11:26,340 --> 01:11:27,950 Hey!, werewolves, not swearwolves. 1322 01:11:27,950 --> 01:11:29,950 Yeah, I know, well on transformation nights, 1323 01:11:29,950 --> 01:11:31,950 it's alright, alright? I'm getting stressed out. 1324 01:11:32,080 --> 01:11:33,320 I was just reminding you. 1325 01:11:33,320 --> 01:11:35,980 Stop talking and chain yourself up you dickhead! 1326 01:11:35,980 --> 01:11:37,380 Honestly, we're transforming. 1327 01:11:37,420 --> 01:11:38,740 Alright, we'll keep walking. 1328 01:11:38,740 --> 01:11:41,610 - Yeah, keep walking. By the way I find that offensive! - We'll keep walking. 1329 01:11:41,750 --> 01:11:42,750 Is that fur? 1330 01:11:42,780 --> 01:11:44,140 Oh, for crying out loud. 1331 01:11:44,310 --> 01:11:47,250 Don't look at the fur everyone. Get back to your trees, okay? 1332 01:11:47,250 --> 01:11:48,910 - That's disgusting, man... - You're wearing fur. 1333 01:11:48,910 --> 01:11:50,140 Declan! 1334 01:11:50,140 --> 01:11:51,600 - That's not real fur. - Oh, shit! 1335 01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:56,210 Honestly, get out of here. Take your humans! 1336 01:11:56,210 --> 01:11:58,210 That guy in the bow-tie, he's gonna go first! 1337 01:11:58,700 --> 01:12:00,800 - C'mon, we've gotta take Stu home. Get out of here, quick! 1338 01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:04,000 Take all your clothess off that you want to keep everyone! 1339 01:12:04,100 --> 01:12:07,940 Get that army service jacket off, you've only just bought that Nathan, 1340 01:12:09,390 --> 01:12:11,340 Get that camera out of my face! 1341 01:12:11,340 --> 01:12:13,340 Go,go,go! Let's go, let's go. Come on! 1342 01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:16,440 Run Stu,run! 1343 01:12:19,190 --> 01:12:20,720 Let's go, let's go! 1344 01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:27,840 - Run Stu, they're coming! - Shit! 1345 01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:29,540 I got one! 1346 01:12:47,520 --> 01:12:49,410 My leg! My leg! 1347 01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:55,550 Oh God! 1348 01:12:56,040 --> 01:12:57,970 Stu! Stu! 1349 01:12:57,970 --> 01:12:59,060 Stu! 1350 01:13:03,690 --> 01:13:04,560 Stu! 1351 01:13:06,020 --> 01:13:07,380 Get off me! Ah! 1352 01:13:08,620 --> 01:13:10,280 Stu, are you alright?! 1353 01:13:11,150 --> 01:13:12,160 STU? 1354 01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:14,350 Stu? 1355 01:13:15,540 --> 01:13:16,900 Fuck off asshole! 1356 01:13:20,620 --> 01:13:21,800 Fuck off! 1357 01:13:22,120 --> 01:13:23,520 Get off me! 1358 01:13:25,640 --> 01:13:27,550 Stinking group of assholes! 1359 01:13:32,860 --> 01:13:34,610 Stupid werewolves! 1360 01:13:34,860 --> 01:13:36,140 Look away Nick! 1361 01:13:36,140 --> 01:13:38,140 - Don't look at their blood! - Stu! 1362 01:13:38,330 --> 01:13:39,990 Stu! 1363 01:13:40,190 --> 01:13:42,880 Leave him alone, he's a really good dude! Leave him alone! 1364 01:13:42,900 --> 01:13:43,930 It's too late for him! 1365 01:13:43,930 --> 01:13:46,120 - Don't look at the blood Nick! - Stu! 1366 01:13:58,070 --> 01:13:59,880 There he is. 1367 01:14:01,630 --> 01:14:04,670 He's probably still a little upset having seen his 1368 01:14:04,670 --> 01:14:08,000 best friend disemboweled by werewolves. 1369 01:14:10,130 --> 01:14:11,290 Nick! 1370 01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:13,260 I found you. 1371 01:14:14,820 --> 01:14:15,960 Whoa! 1372 01:14:18,420 --> 01:14:20,400 That was pretty full on, hey? 1373 01:14:26,410 --> 01:14:29,200 But this is what happens when you are a vampire. 1374 01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:32,200 You have to watch everyone die. 1375 01:14:34,270 --> 01:14:36,520 Your mother and father. 1376 01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:37,940 All your friends. 1377 01:14:38,180 --> 01:14:39,810 Sometimes brutal. 1378 01:14:42,360 --> 01:14:45,660 Like slipping and falling onto a giant spike. 1379 01:14:45,920 --> 01:14:47,530 Or falling asleep... 1380 01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:50,320 in an autumn pile of leaves... 1381 01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:54,400 and having some of them, block your wind pipe. 1382 01:14:55,010 --> 01:14:57,580 Or making the simple mistake, 1383 01:14:58,040 --> 01:15:00,680 of fashioning a mask out of crackers, 1384 01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:02,680 and being attacked by ducks. 1385 01:15:02,930 --> 01:15:04,190 Geese. 1386 01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:06,220 Swans. 1387 01:15:06,850 --> 01:15:08,880 Or simply dying of old age. 1388 01:15:11,470 --> 01:15:13,940 But even old age is brutal. 1389 01:15:14,390 --> 01:15:16,010 Watching your friends... 1390 01:15:16,280 --> 01:15:17,240 ... grow old. 1391 01:15:17,510 --> 01:15:19,460 They can't piss. 1392 01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:23,340 And they say stupid things and their brains go and they 1393 01:15:23,340 --> 01:15:25,340 can't remember anything. 1394 01:15:27,460 --> 01:15:30,880 And then, one day, they can't even remember who you are. 1395 01:15:32,210 --> 01:15:34,350 And you wish they were dead. 1396 01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:36,780 And then they do die. 1397 01:15:40,260 --> 01:15:41,240 No. 1398 01:15:41,240 --> 01:15:43,240 If I know Stu... 1399 01:15:43,890 --> 01:15:46,590 ... this was probably the way he wanted to go. 1400 01:15:47,060 --> 01:15:49,620 Disemboweled by werewolves. 1401 01:15:50,490 --> 01:15:51,940 Blood and guts, 1402 01:15:51,940 --> 01:15:53,940 sprayed on to the trees. 1403 01:15:54,210 --> 01:15:56,660 His face torn to shreds. 1404 01:16:06,380 --> 01:16:08,630 I hope I made you feel better. 1405 01:16:15,050 --> 01:16:17,460 Ah, well, from what we could see in the beginning, 1406 01:16:17,460 --> 01:16:19,900 it looks like there's been a bit of a dog attack. 1407 01:16:19,900 --> 01:16:21,500 That's really what happens, when you get, you know... 1408 01:16:21,500 --> 01:16:22,660 dangerous dogs... 1409 01:16:22,660 --> 01:16:24,480 out on the streets, not being looked after. 1410 01:16:24,480 --> 01:16:25,780 This is not good. 1411 01:16:26,580 --> 01:16:28,160 No, not good at all. 1412 01:16:28,800 --> 01:16:30,580 - No, definitely not. There's nicer ways to go, than being... 1413 01:16:30,580 --> 01:16:34,550 ... torn apart, by what looks like a pack of dogs, more than, more than just one. 1414 01:16:34,550 --> 01:16:37,030 - Yeah I'd say so. - These attacks have been happening more & more frequent. 1415 01:16:37,030 --> 01:16:40,360 They're happening on a monthly basis and and it's just..no good for anybody, okay? 1416 01:16:40,460 --> 01:16:42,560 Especially not the dogs. Certainly not the community. 1417 01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:44,440 I've got the bastard. 1418 01:16:44,520 --> 01:16:45,880 - One of them here hey! - Geez. 1425 1:16:46,000 --> 01:16:47,690 And that's what I'm talking about. Look at it. 1419 01:16:47,690 --> 01:16:49,980 End of the day, this dog is gonna have to be put down. 1420 01:16:50,140 --> 01:16:51,490 What a shame. 1421 01:16:53,030 --> 01:16:54,050 Look what you did. 1422 01:16:54,390 --> 01:16:55,130 Hey? 1423 01:16:55,680 --> 01:16:58,430 Yeah he's got the scent again, hasn't he? He wants to go again. He's not finished. 1424 01:16:58,430 --> 01:16:59,050 Yeah. 1425 01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:32,060 They say that vampires hearts are cold and dead. 1426 01:17:32,540 --> 01:17:34,630 Definitely dead. 1427 01:17:34,680 --> 01:17:37,860 - Bye Stu. - He would have loved his scarf. 1428 01:17:37,860 --> 01:17:40,000 It was a lovely, loose, knit. 1429 01:17:40,530 --> 01:17:44,200 But I don't know. I think I still feel things inside it. 1430 01:17:48,210 --> 01:17:49,370 Deacon! 1431 01:17:50,620 --> 01:17:51,760 Deacon! 1432 01:17:51,870 --> 01:17:54,350 - Deacon, wakey, wakey. Hey! - Viago. 1433 01:17:54,350 --> 01:17:57,400 Don't sleep in here. The curtain's opened. It's nearly morning. 1434 01:17:57,400 --> 01:18:00,000 - Oh! - You want to get sizzled to a crisp? 1435 01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:03,230 -What? - No, you gotta think a little bit about these things. 1436 01:18:03,230 --> 01:18:03,620 Okay. 1437 01:18:03,710 --> 01:18:05,700 - Sorry Viago. - It's okay. 1438 01:18:05,860 --> 01:18:07,800 - Night. - Nigh..night! Okay. 1439 01:18:34,060 --> 01:18:37,520 Received at 4:20 AM: 1440 01:19:00,470 --> 01:19:02,100 - Stu?! - Hey Deacon. 1441 01:19:02,420 --> 01:19:03,900 - Stu! - How is it? 1442 01:19:04,710 --> 01:19:05,720 Good to see you. 1443 01:19:05,840 --> 01:19:06,760 Look at his face! 1444 01:19:06,760 --> 01:19:08,320 I saw them tear you to shreds! 1445 01:19:08,320 --> 01:19:09,580 Look! He looks like Seal! 1446 01:19:10,120 --> 01:19:11,010 They didn't kill me. 1447 01:19:11,040 --> 01:19:13,280 - It looks cool. - Thank you, thank you. 1448 01:19:13,390 --> 01:19:14,640 Meet some of our friends. 1449 01:19:15,030 --> 01:19:16,600 Anton, Deacon. 1450 01:19:17,240 --> 01:19:18,790 - Hi, Anton. - Anton. 1451 01:19:22,580 --> 01:19:24,560 I must have blacked out, um... 1452 01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:26,040 ...and then, I remember... 1453 01:19:26,040 --> 01:19:27,480 - an ambulance. - He's going into shock. 1454 01:19:27,480 --> 01:19:29,430 O'Leary. O'Leary! 1455 01:19:29,430 --> 01:19:31,040 Yeah, coming! 1456 01:19:31,040 --> 01:19:33,320 - Okay, calm down, mate. - Calm down. 1457 01:19:36,780 --> 01:19:38,040 Looks like rabies, doesn't it? 1458 01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:40,880 And I don't know how long after that was, but I like, woke up. 1459 01:19:41,320 --> 01:19:43,930 And it was daytime. 1460 01:19:47,660 --> 01:19:49,560 And I couldn't find my clothes. 1461 01:19:51,820 --> 01:19:53,750 Those werewolf guys, um... 1462 01:19:53,920 --> 01:19:55,050 ... eventually found me. 1463 01:19:55,620 --> 01:19:57,040 And they had some, 1464 01:19:57,040 --> 01:19:59,040 they like, lent me some pants. 1465 01:20:00,110 --> 01:20:02,110 So, yeah, those guys have been supporting me. 1466 01:20:02,360 --> 01:20:04,110 Cause I was quite confused. 1467 01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:07,840 Yeah, these are the guys who, um, 1468 01:20:08,100 --> 01:20:09,520 turned me into a werewolf. 1469 01:20:09,960 --> 01:20:11,410 Did you knit your own jersey? 1470 01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:13,310 - Yes. - Oh, yeah? 1471 01:20:13,500 --> 01:20:15,360 - I knit. - Is that the moon, or? 1472 01:20:15,620 --> 01:20:17,980 - Yes. - Hopefully, we won't, you know... 1473 01:20:21,130 --> 01:20:22,570 Ah, this is a nice place. 1474 01:20:22,570 --> 01:20:25,360 Please, don't, ah, don't lick anything or... 1475 01:20:25,360 --> 01:20:27,360 ... pee on anything. 1476 01:20:27,360 --> 01:20:29,220 We were worried at first, you know, we thought 1477 01:20:29,220 --> 01:20:31,630 'Ooh, they are just going to urinate on everything.' 1478 01:20:31,860 --> 01:20:35,110 But they actually are really polite and pretty clean. 1479 01:20:35,240 --> 01:20:37,860 There was obviously that werewolf smell, 1480 01:20:37,860 --> 01:20:41,220 which permeated the entire house for the first half an hour. 1481 01:20:41,220 --> 01:20:44,210 But we opened some windows and got rid of that. 1482 01:20:44,210 --> 01:20:46,500 'When Stu first suggested the idea,' I thought. 1483 01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:47,320 No way. 1484 01:20:47,320 --> 01:20:50,010 You know, walking into the vampire's den. That's ludicrous. 1485 01:20:50,010 --> 01:20:51,280 That's my hand. 1486 01:20:51,350 --> 01:20:53,230 But I thought, well...we'll give it a shot. 1487 01:20:53,230 --> 01:20:55,400 You know, I'm the alpha male, so I made the call. 1488 01:20:55,630 --> 01:20:56,920 I'm the alpha male. 1489 01:20:56,920 --> 01:20:59,220 - Yes. - So, generally... 1490 01:20:59,270 --> 01:21:00,510 ... all of the other guys follow me. 1491 01:21:00,510 --> 01:21:01,650 - For Stu! - For Stu! 1492 01:21:01,740 --> 01:21:02,890 Thanks guys. 1493 01:21:02,890 --> 01:21:04,490 What have you done to your face? 1494 01:21:04,660 --> 01:21:06,880 I got attacked by some werewolves. 1495 01:21:06,940 --> 01:21:10,320 Ooh!, I met a werewolf. Seemed a very nice person. 1496 01:21:10,720 --> 01:21:12,800 So, Katherine is a vampire now. 1497 01:21:12,800 --> 01:21:14,860 - Yes. - We decide to get together. 1498 01:21:14,860 --> 01:21:16,640 We just thought, the hell with it, you know. 1499 01:21:16,640 --> 01:21:18,110 What have we got to lose? 1500 01:21:18,510 --> 01:21:21,140 I was just sitting, doing nothing, 1501 01:21:21,140 --> 01:21:24,210 and he came floating in and over to me, 1502 01:21:24,210 --> 01:21:26,900 and I recognized him. It was wonderful. 1503 01:21:26,900 --> 01:21:28,900 And then I bit you on the neck. 1504 01:21:29,610 --> 01:21:31,160 That's right. 1505 01:21:32,230 --> 01:21:34,340 And I don't mind being a vampire. 1506 01:21:34,340 --> 01:21:36,340 I'm enjoying it. 1507 01:21:37,620 --> 01:21:40,280 Some people freak out a bit about the age difference. 1508 01:21:40,280 --> 01:21:44,020 Uh, they think, what's this 96-year old lady doing with a guy... 1509 01:21:44,020 --> 01:21:45,790 four times her age? 1510 01:21:45,930 --> 01:21:48,920 - And, you know, I don't care... - It doesn't make any difference. 1511 01:21:48,920 --> 01:21:51,410 No, they can call me cradle-snatcher, who cares. 1512 01:21:51,560 --> 01:21:54,560 I decided to bite her and we're gonna be together forever. 1513 01:21:54,740 --> 01:21:56,180 - Wonderful. - Yah. 1514 01:22:12,020 --> 01:22:15,740 Pauline and I are tentatively back together. 1515 01:22:15,960 --> 01:22:19,400 But it's not long before you remember why it was we 1516 01:22:19,400 --> 01:22:21,400 broke up in the first place. 1517 01:22:25,990 --> 01:22:27,180 We'll start in our bedroom, 1518 01:22:27,180 --> 01:22:30,200 I need that totally boarded up or blacked out somehow. 1519 01:22:30,200 --> 01:22:31,840 My husband is my familiar. 1520 01:22:31,840 --> 01:22:34,710 So there's been a dynamic shift there. 1521 01:22:34,730 --> 01:22:37,880 You could buy a Bedazzler. So write that down. Bedazzler, that's B-E-D... 1522 01:22:37,880 --> 01:22:40,680 I feel like I'm who I'm really meant to be now. 1523 01:22:41,220 --> 01:22:43,140 - I love you. - I love you too. 1524 01:22:43,200 --> 01:22:44,060 Great. 1525 01:22:45,110 --> 01:22:46,540 But I am your Master. 1526 01:22:46,660 --> 01:22:48,410 - Okay? - Yeah. 1527 01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:51,530 Yeah, these guys have to laugh at my jokes, right guys? 1528 01:22:51,690 --> 01:22:53,160 Yeah! 1529 01:22:53,790 --> 01:22:54,790 That is a good one. 1530 01:22:54,790 --> 01:22:56,930 I always look round to make sure they're all laughing. 1531 01:22:56,930 --> 01:22:59,290 Like, if I see one of them is not quite laughing I'll be like, 'Hey!' 1532 01:22:59,290 --> 01:23:01,430 'You laughing?', and often I'll test you. 1533 01:23:01,430 --> 01:23:02,900 - What are you laughing at, Justin? 1534 01:23:02,900 --> 01:23:04,600 - Hey? - What are you laughing at now? 1535 01:23:04,600 --> 01:23:06,600 - Just then? - Yeah, yeah, but what? 1536 01:23:06,600 --> 01:23:07,690 Oh, I don't know. 1537 01:23:07,760 --> 01:23:11,010 Ah, test failed! Test failed! 1538 01:23:11,010 --> 01:23:13,430 You're laughing now. What are you laughing at now though? 1539 01:23:13,710 --> 01:23:14,890 I don't know cause... 1540 01:23:14,890 --> 01:23:17,780 Ah, another failure! 1541 01:23:17,840 --> 01:23:19,490 Well, what are you laughing at Stu? 1542 01:23:19,710 --> 01:23:21,240 I was laughing with the group. 1543 01:23:21,320 --> 01:23:23,020 - Yep, that's good. - Good answer! - That's good, yeah. 1544 01:23:24,400 --> 01:23:26,640 Just pay attention. Pay attention. 1545 01:23:27,570 --> 01:23:28,620 Laugh with the group. 1546 01:25:04,580 --> 01:25:07,540 You will not remember the last hour and a half, 1547 01:25:07,540 --> 01:25:09,540 of what you have just seen. 1548 01:25:10,340 --> 01:25:11,730 You will forget... 1549 01:25:12,260 --> 01:25:14,510 ... the contents of this movie. 109128