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1
00:00:28,577 --> 00:00:32,577
www.titlovi.com
2
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Ah, fuck.
3
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,640
She thinks the house is haunted again.
4
00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:39,766
She probably just heard you
5
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,990
moaning last night when
you were making love to Manuela.
6
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,145
Ay, no mames.
7
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Mi hijo.
8
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A ver t�.
9
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,772
Ah, fuck.
10
00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,251
Damn, fool.
11
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,419
You ate shit.
12
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:34,088
- For real.
- That fall was embarrassing, dawg.
13
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,423
Hey, luckily I recorded it.
14
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:38,075
Hey, the streets are for cars, my boy,
not for running.
15
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,386
This room has potential.
16
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,281
I'm gonna enjoy it
once all your stupid punk shit is gone
17
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:01,991
and I can get past the thought
18
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,095
that you've jacked off in here
like a thousand times.
19
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,663
Hey, I haven't even moved out yet.
20
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,039
What am I supposed to do with that box?
21
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:10,274
- Uh, maybe walk around it.
- Not my problem.
22
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,461
I'm gonna save so much money
moving back in here.
23
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,113
No money is worth having to hear
Luis snore through the walls.
24
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,115
That fool, he has sleep apnea.
25
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:23,370
- Ana!
- Shut up. I'm doing Maggie a favor.
26
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,048
T�a.
27
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:53,376
Okay, now, you made
a great choice, young blood.
28
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,694
You look like a Mexican James Bond.
29
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:58,923
A real man.
30
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,758
Not like that pussy Daniel Craig
31
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,135
all depressed and shit.
32
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,970
You know, I get down
with that fool Pierce Brosnan,
33
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,346
that GoldenEye shit.
34
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,557
Oh, Pierce is
a bigger pussy than Daniel.
35
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,809
But he looks good. And so will you.
36
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,437
Uh, we do in-house alterations here.
37
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,771
I can have it done by tomorrow.
38
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:17,216
Okay, we take this one
for job interviews.
39
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:25,033
This gentleman right here
will have no problem finding a job.
40
00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,618
He's got potential!
41
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,870
I could tell that the moment
he walked in the store.
42
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,187
Ay, Luisito.
43
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,359
Hey, homey, what the fuck you doing?
44
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,845
Let go of me, you fuckin' snitch.
45
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,246
Hell no, big dawg.
46
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:48,872
Get up.
47
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,135
I used to do the same shit,
and I wish somebody was there to stop me.
48
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,881
Here. You want these shirts?
49
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,486
I catch you in here again
I'm gonna shove 'em up your ass!
50
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:02,511
Now get outta here!
51
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,410
Shit. My bad, OG.
I'll pay for this.
52
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,205
Amigo, please. Don't insult me.
53
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,647
You can have the suit for free.
54
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:15,959
Nah, nah, come on, I can't accept that.
55
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,819
Well, then come work for me,
then you get it for free.
56
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:20,463
For real?
57
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,216
Man, I'm getting too old
to be chasing these thieves.
58
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,677
I need someone like you
for a security guard.
59
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:30,348
Also, we got a lot of little Latino boys
coming in for their quinceanero suits.
60
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,891
Oh, yeah, you mean their chambelanes?
61
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,434
Yeah, that's what I said. Quinceanero.
62
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,127
Can you start tomorrow?
63
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:38,356
- Wait. You're giving me a job?
- I'm giving you a job.
64
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,816
Hell, yeah, homey!
65
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,234
A job, Luisito!
66
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:42,384
Hell, yeah!
67
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,223
Y'all hear that?
68
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:49,993
Let all the thieves know,
69
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:53,312
this store belongs to
Luis motherfuckin' Hernandez!
70
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,127
This one's good, but...
71
00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:01,796
...just doesn't have a cross breeze.
72
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,424
Dude, you know this place is great.
73
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:08,094
It has two bathrooms, so we can
blow them up at the same time.
74
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,888
Shit's expensive.
75
00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,222
We'll be fine.
76
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,724
Stop being such a little bitch.
77
00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,809
What if I like being a little bitch?
78
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,953
Then I'll cut your balls off
and feed them to Roger.
79
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,505
Do you wanna eat
your daddy's balls, Roger?
80
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,131
Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
81
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,737
Please don't talk like that
and say nom nom.
82
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:26,946
It makes me sick.
83
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,472
I didn't say it, Roger said it.
84
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,910
Okay. But you have to promise
85
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,574
that we're gonna keep
the new place clean.
86
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,373
I promise to make a good faith effort
87
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,375
to respect your weird-ass OCD shit
88
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,443
that you refuse to seek therapy for.
89
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,379
Thank you.
90
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,531
Okay. Imma submit the application
91
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,157
right
92
00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:55,249
n-n-now.
93
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,948
Hey, fool, you still limping?
94
00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,241
If you were a horse,
they'd have to take you out back
95
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:12,724
and do you like they did Old Yeller.
96
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,663
Hey, where'd you get that suit?
97
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,289
The kid's section of JCPenney?
98
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,292
Hey! I need both of you
to come with me right now.
99
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,545
Our oven exploded last night.
100
00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:25,922
We have a huge order
to fill at North gate Market.
101
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:29,884
If we don't deliver, they're gonna cancel
the whole fuckin' contract, okay?
102
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,344
The oven exploded? How?
103
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,887
I don't know. Gas leak or some shit.
104
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,180
Probably we're just fuckin' cursed.
105
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,974
But seriously, we gotta go.
106
00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,141
Fool, we got a lot of shit to set up
107
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,518
for the graduation ceremony.
108
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,061
You got wax in your ears or what?
109
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:41,271
I said we gotta go!
110
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:42,775
Alight, alright. Payne, we got you.
111
00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:44,972
But aren't you gonna
compliment my suit first?
112
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,235
Get in the van!
113
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,510
Alright. Come on, let's go.
114
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,157
Payne, why did we park
all the way down here?
115
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:54,200
Now we gotta walk up this steep-ass hill.
116
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,369
You think that fuckin' van's
gonna make it up this hill?
117
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,996
This shit is steep.
118
00:07:58,020 --> 00:07:59,831
I'm wearing
the wrong fuckin' shoes for this.
119
00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:02,375
Okay, listen, I don't have
enough cash to cover the price
120
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,835
this guy is asking me for the oven,
121
00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,503
so I'm gonna have to
negotiate him down a bit.
122
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,738
Just go along with whatever I say.
123
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,216
Wait. But we just got
that big-ass donation.
124
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,634
We don't have the money yet.
125
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,511
Billionaires are on billionaire time.
126
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:16,495
Hey, but didn't they give you a check
after you smashed that dude's wife?
127
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,100
Yes, but I lost it, okay?
128
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,727
So I'm waiting for them
to send me another.
129
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,854
Until then, we're strapped for cash.
130
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:26,357
Wait. You lost a $15 million check?
131
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,818
Hey, I'm the one
who who red himself out, okay?
132
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,136
You guys were the ducks, I was the goose.
133
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,764
Cut me a little fuckin' slack, okay?
134
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,809
- Dawg, you okay?
- I'm fine. Let's just focus here.
135
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,496
Hey, we should have just made 'em
136
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,748
give you one of those big-ass checks
like when you win the lottery, you know.
137
00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:43,791
Yeah. You can't lose those.
138
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,044
So, like I said before,
it's a thousand for the oven.
139
00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:49,005
A thousand? No! No, no, no, no, no.
140
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:53,510
First of all, it looks a lot smaller
than it did in the photos.
141
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,345
It actually looks tiny.
142
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,096
It's basically like an Easy-Bake Oven.
143
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,140
Come on, this ain't worth a grand.
144
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,810
- I put the dimensions in the listing.
- The oven's a thousand.
145
00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:04,103
If you don't want it,
I got someone else that's interested.
146
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,105
Well, do you have
a measuring tape around
147
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,691
so I can double check these dimensions?
148
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:12,344
Not that I don't trust you,
but... I guess I don't.
149
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:23,581
Okay, each of you grab a side.
We're gonna steal this shit.
150
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,625
Payne, you're acting fuckin' nuts.
151
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,460
Hey, no can do, Dr. Payne.
152
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:28,920
I work in loss prevention now.
153
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:32,340
Stealing goes against everything
I stand for as a security officer.
154
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,508
You don't wanna help me? Fine, alright?
155
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,218
It's up to me to be
the goddamn goose again.
156
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,077
Okay. Okay.
157
00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:40,831
Hammer time, bitches.
158
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,519
- Ohh!
- Oh, shit.
159
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:45,854
What the fuck?
160
00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:48,565
I just noticed this big dent right here
on the side of the oven.
161
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:51,901
Now, with a dent like this,
I can't give you more than 500 bucks.
162
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,696
You're holding the fuckin' sledgehammer
in your hand!
163
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,114
I'm calling the cops!
164
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:58,867
I would think twice about that
if I were you, alright?
165
00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:00,285
You ever hear of Hugs Not Thugs?
166
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:03,163
These two psychos right here,
they're gang members.
167
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:04,873
Isn't that the place
that reforms gang members?
168
00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:05,874
Yeah.
169
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:09,335
And sometimes we don't do our job right
and they don't get reformed.
170
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,628
Hold up. I'm reformed, alright?
171
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,005
Homey, I got a job and everything.
172
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:14,132
He's the exception to the rule.
173
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:16,718
But this sick fuck right over here,
Julio Loco,
174
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,219
he's gonna do the job for him.
175
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,345
That guy's no gangster.
176
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:20,722
He looks like he likes Morrissey.
177
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:21,848
I fuckin' hate Morrissey!
178
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:23,558
Well, your stupid pompadour
says different.
179
00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:25,143
Oh, fuck you. This is a gentleman's cut.
180
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:26,394
Whoa!
181
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,896
The value keeps going down.
182
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,482
Okay, fine. You can have it for $500.
183
00:10:30,506 --> 00:10:32,192
Just get the fuck out of my garage.
184
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:33,509
Appreciate it.
185
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,528
Okay, let's go.
186
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,180
Hey, Louis, I don't care
that you're a rent-a-cop.
187
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,200
Give us a hand here.
188
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:41,826
Hey, you're lucky
I don't snitch on you fools.
189
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,019
I'm a civilian now,
so we're allowed to snitch.
190
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,873
Payne, why'd you bash the oven?
191
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,333
Who knows if it'll even work now?
192
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:49,733
Just shut up!
193
00:10:51,527 --> 00:10:53,421
Julio! Don't let go!
194
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,965
Sorry, I rolled my ankle,
but I got it now.
195
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,050
- Okay.
- I got.
196
00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:58,242
Julio! Julio!
197
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,803
Fuck!
198
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,162
Fuck!
199
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,041
Oh, fuck!
200
00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:09,312
Ohh!
201
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,105
Shit.
202
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,756
God damn.
203
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:15,717
Ohh!
204
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,430
That's it.
205
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:22,867
We're losing the account.
206
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:23,993
It's all good.
207
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,622
We have $15 million coming in.
208
00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:29,064
We can buy a new van.
209
00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:32,210
Guess we're gonna have to
catch a ride to graduation.
210
00:11:32,234 --> 00:11:33,735
Should we call 9-1-1?
211
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,696
Nah.
212
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,573
Just leave it.
213
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:45,539
I want to congratulate
this class of huggers for their hard work,
214
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,768
as well as their families
for supporting them
215
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,895
through this tough transition
in their life.
216
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:53,672
But I also wanna congratulate... me,
217
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,442
for putting up
with the most difficult person
218
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,343
I've ever dealt with as a caseworker.
219
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,363
My dumb-ass cousin Luis.
220
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,638
I see you, playboy.
221
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,057
Hey, fuck you, primo.
222
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:09,104
Now I want to introduce
one of the greatest people I've ever met.
223
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,648
This man will do anything
for this program,
224
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,358
and I mean anything.
225
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,254
His generosity is abnormally big.
226
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,797
Ladies and gentlemen,
227
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:19,990
put your hands together
for Minister Payne.
228
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,345
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
229
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,014
Please.
230
00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:27,348
That's enough. Thank you.
231
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,934
There's no need for applause.
There's no need for music.
232
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,044
Seriously stop. We need to move out.
233
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:34,105
You can stop now.
234
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,089
Turn off the fuckin' music
or I'll kill you!
235
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,820
I'm gonna keep this short.
236
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,990
Um, I wanna say big congratulations
237
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:47,351
to the last graduating class
of Hugs Not Thugs.
238
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,520
- Very proud of...
- Last?
239
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,748
...the hard work you've done.
240
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,316
Unfortunately, as of today,
241
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,443
we are shutting down.
242
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,216
Hey, Payne, you're joking, right?
243
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,926
We ran out of money.
244
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,552
And it's all my fault.
245
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,054
I fucked everything up.
246
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:09,039
Except for the one thing
I actually needed to fuck.
247
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,353
Uh, you don't know
what I'm talking about. Screw it.
248
00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,671
There's no reason
why I can't tell you all everything.
249
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:22,094
Um, last week, a huge potential donor
stopped by and offered us
250
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,514
$15 million in grant money.
251
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:31,162
And all this kind soul
asked of us in return
252
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:34,314
was that I should fuck his wife
in front of him.
253
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,483
That's it.
254
00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:40,004
Now, I've always said
I would do anything,
255
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,614
anything at all to keep
Hugs Not Thugs alive.
256
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,869
But I couldn't do it this time.
257
00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:49,454
I wanted to.
258
00:13:50,122 --> 00:13:51,558
I tried to.
259
00:13:51,582 --> 00:13:52,833
But the truth is,
260
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:58,380
my P was simply too big for her V.
261
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:02,485
For those of you who don't know,
262
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,512
I am swinging a big club down there.
263
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,491
That's been an issue my entire life.
264
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,244
That's one of the many reasons
my ex-wife divorced me.
265
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,580
I haven't had a date
in two and a half years
266
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:15,248
because I cannot bear the humiliation
267
00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:18,751
of buying condoms
in a fucking novelty store.
268
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,279
Between whoopee cushions
and fake rubber asses,
269
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:25,782
that's my world.
270
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,851
And don't let anyone ever tell you
271
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:37,645
size doesn't matter, because it does,
272
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:40,589
and it's ruining our lives right now!
All of our lives!
273
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:45,361
Anyway, those fucking billionaire fucks
tore up that check
274
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,638
right in front of me and my big dawg.
275
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:52,035
So, thank you all for coming.
276
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,269
And I apologize for messing everything up.
277
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:57,731
Nah. Nah, nah!
278
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,336
Hey, we can't let this place close
just 'cause Payne has a big-ass chorizo.
279
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,986
That's right. Yeah, that's right.
280
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:05,840
We owe a lot to this place
281
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:07,032
and to Dr. Payne.
282
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,469
Everybody pull out your wallets.
Just pony up.
283
00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:11,161
We gotta save Hugs Not Thugs.
284
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,626
We're $250,000 in debt.
285
00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:22,899
Oh, I forgot to mention
this is the point in the night
286
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,275
where we become a warehouse sale,
287
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,402
so, uh, take whatever you want.
288
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,405
A memento, some merch, a couch.
289
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,056
Go nuts. We're done here.
290
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:32,724
Very sorry.
291
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,920
You know, the world does not
roll out the red carpet for you
292
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,487
when you start a nonprofit.
293
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,281
They raise your rent.
294
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,676
They deny you grants,
295
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:53,161
and then they tell you your penis
is too big for their vagina.
296
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:56,015
I've come to realize
it's almost impossible
297
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,082
to be a good person.
298
00:15:58,041 --> 00:15:59,853
So you're just gonna
give up on all this shit?
299
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:01,104
For now.
300
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:05,150
To be honest, part of me is relieved
that Hugs Not Thugs is closing.
301
00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:09,154
I mean, the constant stress of
keeping this place afloat was killin' me.
302
00:16:09,178 --> 00:16:11,763
I've put years of my life
into this place.
303
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,057
I fuckin' need this.
304
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,693
I don't know what I'm gonna do now.
305
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,613
Well, maybe that's a good thing.
306
00:16:28,614 --> 00:16:31,926
Burning down your entire life
forces you out of your comfort zone.
307
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,785
It makes you have to find a new path.
308
00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:37,706
I mean, fuck it. Maybe I'll go get
my old evil job at the bank back.
309
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:39,893
Go manage another strip club.
310
00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:42,252
At least it's steady work.
311
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,274
Minister Payne.
312
00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:49,402
Just want to say thank you
for everything you did for me, big dawg.
313
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:51,762
I mean, you really helped change my life.
314
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:54,389
You too, Julio.
315
00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:56,350
You're welcome, Fabian.
316
00:16:58,310 --> 00:16:59,787
Hey, you think
I could get those chairs right there?
317
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,812
Please.
318
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:28,608
It's nice just to sit back
and warm yourself
319
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:30,884
in the burning embers of your own life.
320
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:33,762
Yeah.
321
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:44,398
Guess what,
honey toes sugar pie boo bear?
322
00:17:45,524 --> 00:17:47,234
We got the apartment!
323
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,071
Sugar tits?
324
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:56,553
I read a statistic that 50% of nonprofits
close within their first year.
325
00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:58,662
It's a systemic problem.
326
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:02,517
You guys lasted ten years.
327
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:03,959
That's amazing.
328
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,480
And thankfully,
there are other gang rehabs in LA.
329
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,339
I've heard Homeboy Industries is great.
330
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:12,068
The huggers will land on their feet.
331
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:14,219
- Yeah, they'll be fine.
- But what about me?
332
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:17,866
I won't to have money
for the security deposit on our new place.
333
00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:19,391
I can cover the security deposit.
334
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:21,703
Okay, but what happens
when I can't find a job
335
00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:22,829
and then you have to pay my rent?
336
00:18:22,853 --> 00:18:25,331
Then I'll cover your part of the rent
until you can.
337
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:26,958
It's not a big deal.
338
00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:29,419
I'm not gonna let my girlfriend
pay half of my rent.
339
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:30,920
Julio, shut up.
340
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,255
You're not into that macho shit.
341
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,340
Look, you're not the one
that lost their job.
342
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,657
I'm fuckin' worried, okay?
343
00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:39,745
You're right.
344
00:18:41,205 --> 00:18:44,291
I'm sorry you lost your job,
but I got your back.
345
00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:47,181
Look, what if we
take it a little slower...
346
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,380
- Okay.
- ...and you move in here first?
347
00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:52,341
Just for a couple months.
348
00:18:59,765 --> 00:19:00,992
Um, I don't know.
349
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:03,870
I mean, it's kinda small,
350
00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:07,231
and it's you, me, Roger.
351
00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:09,496
I don't think there's enough room for us.
352
00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:11,527
We got big personalities.
353
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:16,990
So what you're saying is,
if it weren't for Roger,
354
00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:18,909
you'd move in here.
355
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:20,345
Correct?
356
00:19:20,369 --> 00:19:22,555
Yeah, but I'm not gonna
make you pick me over Roger.
357
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:24,432
Not a problem.
358
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:26,041
It's an easy choice for me.
359
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,024
What the fuck are you doing?
360
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:36,194
I'll cut him up into tiny pieces
and make a Roger posole.
361
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,363
Oh, no, no, no. Una lasagne.
362
00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:40,281
And then we can move in together
363
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,784
because if Roger
is the only thing that's keeping us
364
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,494
from taking our relationship
to the next level,
365
00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:46,162
then he has to go.
366
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:47,330
Hey, stop fuckin' around.
367
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:50,500
I'm willing to do whatever it takes
to make this relationship work.
368
00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:51,751
Hey, just put Roger down.
369
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:55,213
Five, four, three, two!
370
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:56,506
Wait. I admit it.
371
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:58,216
I don't wanna move in with you, okay?
372
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,885
You're messy.
I don't have a job. I'm scared.
373
00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:03,888
Also, sometimes I don't even think
we're right for each other.
374
00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:06,140
We just do this shit
because it's convenient.
375
00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,541
Look, I'm sorry.
376
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:11,920
God.
377
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:17,009
I fucking knew this whole time
you'd find some excuse to back out.
378
00:20:17,593 --> 00:20:19,473
You've been pulling this shit
since high school.
379
00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:22,764
Get the fuck out of my apartment, Julio.
380
00:20:29,688 --> 00:20:31,315
You're still my honey toes, right?
381
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:55,267
Hey, ain't this place great?
382
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:57,359
It's no palace, but it's all mine.
383
00:21:58,277 --> 00:22:01,864
Hey, and check this out.
I got that good toilet paper, baby.
384
00:22:03,949 --> 00:22:05,075
I'm happy for you, Luis.
385
00:22:05,701 --> 00:22:06,827
You deserve it.
386
00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:10,014
So where should I sleep?
387
00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:12,725
- Hey, hey, you're the guest.
- Take the bed, big dawg.
388
00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:13,852
Oh, shit, for real?
389
00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:15,156
Nah, nah, nah, the bed's mine.
390
00:22:15,669 --> 00:22:17,021
You can have the couch, alright?
391
00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:19,190
But you might wanna get
some of those noise-canceling headphones.
392
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:21,300
I'm gonna be smashing a lot, my boy.
393
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:24,612
We gotta get you back in the game too.
394
00:22:24,636 --> 00:22:26,948
I don't know how much smashing
I'm gonna be doing.
395
00:22:26,972 --> 00:22:28,741
- Hey, come on.
- Don't get all sad. Alright?
396
00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:30,726
You and Maggie's relationship
was all fucked up.
397
00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:33,371
You're smart, though.
You got out before giving her a ring.
398
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:34,873
Could have been worse.
399
00:22:34,897 --> 00:22:36,332
Could have been a baby.
400
00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:38,459
You fools would have made
an ugly-ass baby.
401
00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:39,544
I don't know about ugly.
402
00:22:39,568 --> 00:22:41,838
- Come on, homey.
- Trust me, alright? For real.
403
00:22:41,862 --> 00:22:43,071
It would have been ugly.
404
00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:45,049
Maybe you're right.
405
00:22:45,073 --> 00:22:48,869
I feel horrible, but also kinda excited.
406
00:22:49,286 --> 00:22:50,680
Gotta figure out something new.
407
00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:52,891
I'm gonna spread my stupid fuckin' wings.
408
00:22:52,915 --> 00:22:54,976
Hell, yeah, my boy!
409
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,127
And you finally moved out
of your mom's pad.
410
00:22:57,836 --> 00:22:59,129
Julio!
411
00:23:04,343 --> 00:23:05,511
Julio!
412
00:23:17,481 --> 00:23:18,565
Nah, nah, I could do it.
413
00:23:19,608 --> 00:23:21,252
I'll do it. I know how to do it.
414
00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:22,444
Come on, no shit.
415
00:23:24,863 --> 00:23:26,758
I can do it. I'm the one fixing up my pad.
416
00:23:26,782 --> 00:23:28,408
Oh, you mean the neighbor's garage?
417
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,929
You live there too, idiot.
418
00:23:30,953 --> 00:23:32,514
You're gonna fuck that place up.
419
00:23:32,538 --> 00:23:33,747
I should fuck you up.
420
00:23:36,747 --> 00:23:40,747
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