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1
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,007
Fuck you, Michael.
2
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,988
Okay. Ya. !V�manos!
3
00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:33,760
I made the mistake of letting the kids
split a Cactus Cooler this morning,
4
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:36,137
so, good luck babysitting them.
5
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,430
Hey, hey, hey.
6
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,807
Hey, you guys excited
to kick it or what?
7
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,851
Mom, why are you punishing us?
8
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,396
Tio Julio gets tired of playing
after one minute.
9
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,732
He makes us watch movies from the past.
10
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,902
Mom, please take us
to a dentist in Mexico.
11
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:51,903
No.
12
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:55,073
I know your Tio Julio is lame,
but he's free, so you better behave.
13
00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,432
Fine.
14
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,311
'Sup, Julio?
15
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,021
What are you doing here?
16
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,916
- I was...
- Hey, Maggie.
17
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,459
Ooh. You look hot.
18
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,669
S�, muy hot, muy hot.
19
00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,987
- Buenos dias, Esperanza.
- C�mo est�s?
20
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,509
Girl, you look so cute.
21
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:16,261
- I love this jacket.
- Oh, my God, thank you.
22
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,388
- Hey.
- I don't mean to be rude,
23
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,348
but if you wouldn't mind
shutting your fucking mouths,
24
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,652
I'm trying to watch the Raiders.
25
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,042
- He's so aggro.
- Oy...
26
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,437
What are you doing here, Maggie?
27
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:29,107
Well, some old man died,
28
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,818
and his son is selling
his record collection on Craigslist,
29
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,887
so I was wondering
if you'd come pick it up with me.
30
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:37,782
You know, in case he tries to murder me.
31
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:40,410
I can't. I'm taking care
of Michael and Aiden.
32
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,435
Oh, no.
33
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:50,253
Hey, if y'all just shut up
34
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,558
and just let me watch my game,
I'll take care of the kids.
35
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:57,177
Mom, could Tio Luis
please watch us instead of Tio Julio?
36
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,095
Oh, you don't want me
to take care of you?
37
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,181
Alright. See how much fun
you have with your Tio Luis
38
00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:03,057
when he starts crying
because the Raiders lost.
39
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,393
Ooh, I like a horrible franchise.
40
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,729
- Bitch, I'll fuckin' kill you.
- Yeah, bitch!
41
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,564
Hey! Watch your language.
42
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,774
Will you stop fucking cursing
in front of my kids?
43
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,860
You know what? I think it's better
for Julio to take care of them.
44
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,446
- Hey, come on.
- I can take care of these little fools.
45
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,655
Promise I won't curse, alright?
46
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,032
We'll have a nice day together.
Don't worry about it.
47
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,337
No, it's just that you're
probably gonna eat all their...
48
00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:37,675
- V�monos. V�monos.
- Hey, bring me some Vicodin.
49
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,493
- Bye.
- Bye.
50
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,845
Why couldn't your new boyfriend
Julio Tambien protect you?
51
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:01,199
Or Is that fool too busy
getting his ass whooped at bowling?
52
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,391
Shut up.
53
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,810
He's not my boyfriend.
54
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,288
You know,
women who live without men live longer?
55
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,106
Seems like you're gonna die young then.
56
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,275
You always got a man around.
57
00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,088
Hope my funeral's fun, bitch.
58
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,990
And you better cry, like a lot.
59
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,093
And don't move on too fast.
60
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:23,721
Or else I'm gonna come back
and fucking haunt you The Ring style!
61
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,997
Watch the fuckin' road!
62
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:30,419
Wait. Why are you taking this exit?
63
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,298
And why are you wearing exercise clothes?
64
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,818
And why did you pack a picnic basket
65
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,778
to pick up something from Craigslist?
66
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:41,388
Ah, fuck. There is no
record collection, is there?
67
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,100
I planned a surprise for you!
68
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:49,164
I packed us a picnic,
and I thought I'd take you on a hike
69
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:51,791
where we can watch the sunset
over the stupid-ass ocean.
70
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,169
- I hate hiking!
- Damn, fool.
71
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:57,589
Unclench your ass
for one second and relax.
72
00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:00,800
All you have to do is
look pretty and have fun.
73
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,468
I planned the whole day out.
74
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,470
Yeah, that's what I'm worried about.
75
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,746
Oh, shut up.
76
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,141
You can't do this to me.
77
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,601
I'm being kidnapped.
78
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,252
My nephews are in danger
all because you wanted to have a fun day.
79
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,781
Why didn't you tell me
to bring my hiking shoes?
80
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,116
Because then you would have known
we were going on a hike. Duh.
81
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,326
And then you wouldn't have come
82
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,203
and seen how beautiful
this nature shit is.
83
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,145
Mira, que nice. They got trees.
84
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,165
The mosquitoes are gonna to devour me.
85
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,417
They fuckin' love me. I have sweet blood.
86
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:20,088
I knew you'd complain about bugs,
so I came prepared.
87
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:22,757
- I can't use that brand.
- That shit irritates my skin.
88
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:23,824
It has deet.
89
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,720
That shit has deet.
90
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:30,139
- What's in this bag, bricks of cocaine?
- This shit is heavy.
91
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,541
- Then just let me carry it.
- No, I got it.
92
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,399
There's no reception here.
93
00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:42,009
We're gonna get lost
and then P-22 is gonna devour us.
94
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,195
What the fuck is P-22?
95
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,947
You don't know what P-22 is?
96
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:48,575
It's a mountain lion
that roams this exact same area.
97
00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:51,828
That fool had a bad case of mange,
so he was taken out of the wild for a bit.
98
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:55,123
But now that fool's back,
and he's hungrier and stronger than ever.
99
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:57,625
He's gonna smell this basket
and then he's gonna devour us.
100
00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,253
Did you just learn the word "devour"?
101
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,320
Stop saying it.
102
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:03,238
Hi.
103
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,160
Hey, check out those muscular asses.
104
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,348
If we got lost out here with no food,
105
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,208
we could eat those asses.
106
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,436
Muscular meat isn't good meat.
107
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,021
Those asses will be tough and gamey.
108
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,148
Damn fool. Take a joke.
109
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,483
I thought we could have
a nice day together,
110
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:22,734
but I guess I was wrong.
111
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:23,943
You're being a bummer about everything.
112
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,529
- I just hate hiking.
- And I thought you did too.
113
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,782
I do hate hiking,
but after what went down on your birthday,
114
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,826
it seemed like we might
get back together again,
115
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:34,162
so I Googled, "Top ten things
healthy couples do together,"
116
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,413
and hiking was number nine.
117
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,582
- What were the top eight?
- I don't know. I got paywalled!
118
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,250
But apparently you think
this was a stupid-ass idea,
119
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,674
so let's just fucking go back home.
120
00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,113
Wait. Maggie!
121
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,282
Look. Check it out.
122
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:49,761
A butterfly.
123
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,054
Look, I'm in the moment
124
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,205
and I'm appreciating
the shit out of that butterfly.
125
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:56,584
Wish this fuckin' butterfly knew
how much I was appreciating it right now.
126
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,418
Come on. Come on.
127
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,003
Come on.
128
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,691
Damn. Don't appreciate it too much.
129
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:04,716
I might get jealous.
130
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,529
Fuckin' slut-ass butterfly.
131
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:10,097
Don't worry,
that butterfly has nothing on you.
132
00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,367
Except, it can fly.
133
00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,035
And has way bigger tits.
134
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,269
Uh-unh.
135
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,526
Damn. Place ain't bad.
136
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,379
Good call.
137
00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:25,630
Grass is nice.
138
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,757
These are dairy free,
139
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:31,451
specifically baked by moi,
for your weak-ass body.
140
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,416
Damn. This shit is good.
141
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:38,959
When did you learn to bake?
142
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,253
Bitch, I bake.
143
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,048
Look who's back.
144
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,844
Damn. Those asses are buff!
145
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,740
What if I showed up to your place
and I suddenly had a dumper that big?
146
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,309
Hmm. I'd start you an OnlyFans,
move you to the streets.
147
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:56,995
We'd make millions.
148
00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:58,746
A prostitute? Like on Figueroa?
149
00:07:58,770 --> 00:07:59,771
Yeah.
150
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:01,398
Don't mind if I do.
151
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,836
Oh, shit. That fool's
getting down on one knee.
152
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,588
Is he about to propose?
153
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:09,907
No. His legs couldn't support
the weight of his nalgas anymore.
154
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,680
Oh, wait. Yes, dude. He's proposing.
155
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,289
Holy fuckin' shit.
156
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,601
The big dumpers are getting married.
157
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,269
If you ever pull
some corny-ass shit like this with me,
158
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,480
I'd murder you so bad it'd be on Dateline.
159
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,881
- I would never.
- Oh.
160
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,510
What you doing?
161
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:31,404
Maggie.
162
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,429
Margarita.
163
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,643
What you...
164
00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,613
Come on. Come over here.
165
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,312
Oh, God, one more time.
166
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,754
- Ohh!
- You can still get hard.
167
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,093
What's that scar?
168
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,345
I got shot.
169
00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:17,349
Whoa. Do you think we'll ever get shot?
170
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,227
Maybe. Life is crazy.
171
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,771
What's that?
172
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,955
Oh, this is from my favorite book I read
while I was in the pen.
173
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:27,961
It's called Harry Potter.
174
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,295
You guys know Harry Potter?
175
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,547
Duh.
176
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:31,881
It's an old book.
177
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,466
Damn, you know my boy Harry?
178
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,634
That's tight.
179
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:35,802
You two are cool as fuck.
180
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,626
Probably the most
popular kids at school, huh?
181
00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:40,581
Not really.
182
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,249
What?
183
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,727
Hey, let's get serious, alright?
184
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,631
I'm your favorite tio.
You can tell me anything.
185
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,182
Is there anybody at school
fucking with you?
186
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:53,278
Well, there's this one boy
that kinda bullies us.
187
00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:54,428
Fuck that!
188
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:56,180
What does he do to you?
189
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,658
Does he sock you in the gut
and give you a titty twister?
190
00:09:58,682 --> 00:09:59,993
No.
191
00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:01,327
Does he throw wet paper towels at you
while you're taking a dump?
192
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,370
No.
193
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,664
Does he put raw meat on your forehead
and try to get a dog to eat it?
194
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,565
- No!
- Then what does he do to you then?
195
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,329
Hey, these aren't funny.
196
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,915
Oh, yeah, right. Hey, I'm sorry, homeys.
197
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,793
Damn. Bullying has changed since my times.
198
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,420
This shit is dark.
199
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,024
Can you go kick his ass for us?
200
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,609
Yeah, kick his ass.
201
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:35,195
And after that, kick his dad's ass too.
202
00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:37,019
Yeah, yeah, well,
I obviously could do that.
203
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,365
But, you know,
Hugs Not Thugs is teaching me
204
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,950
that it's better to talk this shit out.
205
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,434
No fighting? Come on.
206
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,496
Yeah, we want violence.
207
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,582
We thought you were cool
but it turns out you're just a loser,
208
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,875
you know, like Tio Julio.
209
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,251
Hey, hey, kick back, alright?
210
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,544
I'm nothing like Julio.
211
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,004
Then prove it.
212
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,298
- Alright, then, fuck it.
- Let's go kick this kid's ass.
213
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,365
Yeah!
214
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,992
Something's up with my stomach.
215
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,804
I just can't eat
that many nuggets anymore.
216
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,306
One thing I love about you, Julio,
217
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,958
is you can complain
even when you're fed like a king.
218
00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:13,048
So which way to the ocean view?
219
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:17,094
- This way.
- Wait. You sure?
220
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:20,490
I told you I planned
the whole thing out.
221
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:21,699
We're gonna get there right at sunset.
222
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:22,808
It's gonna be tight.
223
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,445
Just seems like
it would be the other way.
224
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,396
Do you trust me or not?
225
00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:31,066
Okay. No, you're right. I trust you.
226
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,028
- Follow me then, slut.
- Alright.
227
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,103
You gotta kick him
in his balls, Tio Luis.
228
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,647
No, you gotta curb stomp him
like in American History X!
229
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:53,815
Hey, hey, guys, chill.
230
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,024
Alright? Just trust me.
231
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,110
After this, they're gonna make memes
outta me kicking his ass.
232
00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:58,736
That's not how memes work.
233
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,440
Hey, well, that's how
they're gonna work!
234
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,561
Hey, big dawg.
235
00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:12,107
Sorry to bother you, uh,
but these are my nephews and...
236
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:14,419
Yeah, they said, uh,
237
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:17,571
you know, they've been
getting bullied by your son,
238
00:12:18,197 --> 00:12:20,240
so I'd really, really appreciate it
239
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,469
if, you know, your kid
could stop making memes of them.
240
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,679
I mean, he's a true artist.
241
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:25,722
Don't get me wrong,
little homey gets down.
242
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,141
But, you know, this generation,
they get real sentido
243
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,416
unlike you and me, big dawg.
244
00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:32,336
You got it, bro.
245
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,564
I was actually just making dinner.
246
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,274
Why don't you guys come inside, huh?
247
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,498
Sit down, we can talk about this,
get it all sorted out.
248
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,095
- Chicken.
- Welcome.
249
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,246
My stomach fuckin' hurts.
250
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,415
I keep getting these sharp-ass cramps.
251
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,375
Are you sure there was
no dairy in those cookies?
252
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,503
Yes, Julio, I'm sure.
253
00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:58,838
Maybe you just finally
got your first period.
254
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,113
Felicidades.
255
00:13:00,531 --> 00:13:01,674
It's not funny.
256
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:04,052
And this uneven trail isn't helping.
257
00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:06,095
I knew we should have
taken the trail I suggested.
258
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,847
Why don't you ever just trust me?
259
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:08,890
Oh, I don't know.
260
00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:11,154
Maybe because you cheated on me
with my boss at Domino's.
261
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,003
What the fuck, Julio?
262
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,856
We were teenagers.
263
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,484
You don't get to
hang that over my head for 15 years.
264
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,611
Plus, I only cheated on you
265
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,279
'cause you cheated on me
with my cousin Ofelia.
266
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,697
That's worse. That's family!
267
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:25,782
And she's fucking ugly!
268
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,200
She wasn't that ugly.
269
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:29,786
You remember it wrong.
You were the first one to cheat.
270
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,120
No, no, no. I remember it right.
271
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,748
You cheated on me freshman year,
then I cheated back that summer.
272
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,292
No. You were the first one to cheat.
273
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:38,503
Or wait. Maybe you cheated
after I cheated first.
274
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,548
- Come on, Julio. Who gives a shit?
- It doesn't matter anymore.
275
00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:43,448
Can we just keep walking while we argue?
276
00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:46,219
It's getting fuckin' dark
and we gotta move.
277
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,245
P-22 is gonna fuckin' devour us.
278
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,140
I knew we should have taken
the other trail I suggested.
279
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,642
You already said that!
280
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,811
God damn, you're driving me fucking crazy!
281
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:55,812
You just have to control everything,
282
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,772
our fucking relationship,
which trail we take,
283
00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:58,815
even your fucking hair!
284
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,233
Look how stiff that shit is!
285
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:01,925
- Oh, fuck.
- What?
286
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,594
Holy shit.
287
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,530
Is it really P-22?
288
00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:07,657
- It's my stomach.
- I definitely ate dairy.
289
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,534
What were the ingredients
in those cookies?
290
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,202
They were fucking dairy free.
291
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,954
How many times
do I have to fucking tell you?
292
00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:14,122
List the ingredients!
293
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:16,583
Oh, my fucking God!
294
00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:19,711
Sugar, flour,
lactose-free chocolate chips,
295
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:20,753
oats, butter.
296
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,089
Butter? Butter isn't lactose free!
297
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,465
Yes, it is!
298
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,925
Butter comes from the butter plant!
299
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,303
- Butter plant?
- Maggie, what the fuck?
300
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:29,596
- Oh, no.
- Oh, fuck.
301
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,681
I feel like I'm about to explode.
302
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,266
- It's-it's okay.
- Just-just-just let it out.
303
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,374
No, I can't.
304
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:37,979
- Yes, you can.
- I believe in you.
305
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,606
What are you,
a high school basketball coach?
306
00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:40,631
Get the fuck outta here!
307
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,026
Um, I'll keep a lookout.
308
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,819
This is not a fucking burglary.
309
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,279
- Go! Run!
- I'm so, so, so, sorry.
310
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:47,822
I'll get you some leaves to wipe with.
311
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,474
- It's fuckin' happening.
- Just fuckin' leave me!
312
00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:59,149
I'm not leaving you.
313
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:03,963
Get the fuck away!
314
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:07,616
Just... let... go!
315
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,177
Eric.
316
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:29,513
Get in here.
317
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:31,598
Now!
318
00:15:36,562 --> 00:15:37,813
Sit down next to them, Eric.
319
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:44,903
Eric.
320
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,406
This man has come all the way over here
321
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,909
to tell me that you've been making memes
about his nephews.
322
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,912
You shouldn't be a bully, Eric.
323
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,290
And I'm gonna tell you why.
324
00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,686
Once upon a time, there was a little boy
325
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:01,378
who used to get his butt kicked.
326
00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:03,589
A lot.
327
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,966
This boy was really little,
328
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:10,053
so little, that people used to call him
329
00:16:11,889 --> 00:16:13,015
Tiny Juan.
330
00:16:16,894 --> 00:16:18,687
So Tiny Juan had a bully,
331
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,773
who used to do really bad stuff to him
332
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:24,985
even worse than what you're doing
to these boys, mijo.
333
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:28,071
And that bully's name
334
00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,117
- was Big Luis.
- Big Luis.
335
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,185
Big Luis bullied Tiny Juan
336
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:41,376
really, really bad.
337
00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:45,839
He'd sock him in the gut
and gave him titty twisters.
338
00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:49,092
He'd throw wet paper towels at him
while he's trying to take a dump.
339
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:53,096
He even took raw meat
and smashed it into Tiny Juan's forehead
340
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,807
and then had a vicious dog try to eat it.
341
00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:00,413
And Big Luis and all his friends
would always call him names,
342
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:03,458
like White Boy or Miklo
343
00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:07,420
or say stupid tonter�as
like, "No mames, G�ero,"
344
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:10,948
which made Tiny Juan feel confused
about his place in this world.
345
00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:14,576
But luckily,
346
00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:19,873
Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior,
347
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,000
saved Tiny Juan.
348
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,294
Giving him strength,
349
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:29,216
courage, and determination.
350
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,263
Because of what happened to him in school,
351
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,742
Tiny Juan decided
to dedicate his whole life
352
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:41,562
to getting really, really, really big!
353
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:46,483
So that he would never, ever, ever, ever!
354
00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:48,986
Get bullied again!
355
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,161
God answered Tiny Juan's prayers.
356
00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:02,916
And Tiny Juan... became Big Juan.
357
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,461
And Big Luis
358
00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:10,674
grew up to be this little bitch
sitting right here.
359
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:15,095
Which is why you should be careful
when you bully kids, Eric.
360
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:18,366
Because these little kids
that you're making memes about
361
00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,601
can grow up to be big and strong.
362
00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:26,440
And maybe one day
if they pray and they pray and they pray,
363
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,736
God will answer their prayers
many years later
364
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,406
by allowing them to get sweet revenge
365
00:18:35,199 --> 00:18:36,533
on the boy that bullied them.
366
00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:38,785
And, my boy,
367
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:43,874
God... has rewarded me today.
368
00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:46,835
Ninos...
369
00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:50,172
go to your rooms and lock the doors.
370
00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:52,674
Now!
371
00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:58,263
- Run!
- Okay.
372
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,618
Hey, hey, listen, Tiny Juan.
373
00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:03,953
That was in the past, homey, alright?
I'm sorry!
374
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,979
Please have mercy on me!
375
00:19:11,527 --> 00:19:12,819
What the fuck?
376
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,290
I'll pray for you, fool!
377
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,394
Let's get the fuck outta here.
378
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:30,647
- What happened, Tio?
- Tio, Michael was scared.
379
00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:32,065
He screamed like a little girl.
380
00:19:32,089 --> 00:19:33,316
You screamed like a girl!
381
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:34,567
- Hey!
- Hey, hey, listen, listen.
382
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,611
There's no reason
to scream like little girls, alright?
383
00:19:36,635 --> 00:19:38,905
I just beat your bully's dad's ass,
just like you asked me to,
384
00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:40,782
because I always look out for my familia.
385
00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:42,909
And because I'm way cooler
than your Tio Julio.
386
00:19:42,933 --> 00:19:44,786
So let this be a lesson, alright?
387
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:46,579
Just because some fool's bigger than you
388
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,414
doesn't mean you
can't put hands on him, okay?
389
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:49,958
Big Luis!
390
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:50,959
Hey, I'll race you fools home.
391
00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:51,984
Hey!
392
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:09,751
It's okay.
393
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,260
- Dawg, what happened to you?
- You look like shit.
394
00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:21,221
You smell like shit.
395
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,018
Me and Maggie got back together.
396
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,566
I'll pray for you too, my boy.
397
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,776
I'll pray for you too.
398
00:20:37,776 --> 00:20:41,776
Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com
29386
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