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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,007 Fuck you, Michael. 2 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,988 Okay. Ya. !V�manos! 3 00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:33,760 I made the mistake of letting the kids split a Cactus Cooler this morning, 4 00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:36,137 so, good luck babysitting them. 5 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,430 Hey, hey, hey. 6 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,807 Hey, you guys excited to kick it or what? 7 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,851 Mom, why are you punishing us? 8 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,396 Tio Julio gets tired of playing after one minute. 9 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,732 He makes us watch movies from the past. 10 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,902 Mom, please take us to a dentist in Mexico. 11 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:51,903 No. 12 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:55,073 I know your Tio Julio is lame, but he's free, so you better behave. 13 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,432 Fine. 14 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,311 'Sup, Julio? 15 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,021 What are you doing here? 16 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,916 - I was... - Hey, Maggie. 17 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,459 Ooh. You look hot. 18 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,669 S�, muy hot, muy hot. 19 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,987 - Buenos dias, Esperanza. - C�mo est�s? 20 00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,509 Girl, you look so cute. 21 00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:16,261 - I love this jacket. - Oh, my God, thank you. 22 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,388 - Hey. - I don't mean to be rude, 23 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,348 but if you wouldn't mind shutting your fucking mouths, 24 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,652 I'm trying to watch the Raiders. 25 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,042 - He's so aggro. - Oy... 26 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,437 What are you doing here, Maggie? 27 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:29,107 Well, some old man died, 28 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,818 and his son is selling his record collection on Craigslist, 29 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,887 so I was wondering if you'd come pick it up with me. 30 00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:37,782 You know, in case he tries to murder me. 31 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:40,410 I can't. I'm taking care of Michael and Aiden. 32 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,435 Oh, no. 33 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:50,253 Hey, if y'all just shut up 34 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,558 and just let me watch my game, I'll take care of the kids. 35 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:57,177 Mom, could Tio Luis please watch us instead of Tio Julio? 36 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,095 Oh, you don't want me to take care of you? 37 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,181 Alright. See how much fun you have with your Tio Luis 38 00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:03,057 when he starts crying because the Raiders lost. 39 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,393 Ooh, I like a horrible franchise. 40 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,729 - Bitch, I'll fuckin' kill you. - Yeah, bitch! 41 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,564 Hey! Watch your language. 42 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,774 Will you stop fucking cursing in front of my kids? 43 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,860 You know what? I think it's better for Julio to take care of them. 44 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,446 - Hey, come on. - I can take care of these little fools. 45 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,655 Promise I won't curse, alright? 46 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,032 We'll have a nice day together. Don't worry about it. 47 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,337 No, it's just that you're probably gonna eat all their... 48 00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:37,675 - V�monos. V�monos. - Hey, bring me some Vicodin. 49 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,493 - Bye. - Bye. 50 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,845 Why couldn't your new boyfriend Julio Tambien protect you? 51 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:01,199 Or Is that fool too busy getting his ass whooped at bowling? 52 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,391 Shut up. 53 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,810 He's not my boyfriend. 54 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,288 You know, women who live without men live longer? 55 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,106 Seems like you're gonna die young then. 56 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,275 You always got a man around. 57 00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,088 Hope my funeral's fun, bitch. 58 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,990 And you better cry, like a lot. 59 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,093 And don't move on too fast. 60 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:23,721 Or else I'm gonna come back and fucking haunt you The Ring style! 61 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,997 Watch the fuckin' road! 62 00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:30,419 Wait. Why are you taking this exit? 63 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,298 And why are you wearing exercise clothes? 64 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,818 And why did you pack a picnic basket 65 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,778 to pick up something from Craigslist? 66 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:41,388 Ah, fuck. There is no record collection, is there? 67 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,100 I planned a surprise for you! 68 00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:49,164 I packed us a picnic, and I thought I'd take you on a hike 69 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:51,791 where we can watch the sunset over the stupid-ass ocean. 70 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,169 - I hate hiking! - Damn, fool. 71 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:57,589 Unclench your ass for one second and relax. 72 00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:00,800 All you have to do is look pretty and have fun. 73 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,468 I planned the whole day out. 74 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,470 Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. 75 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,746 Oh, shut up. 76 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,141 You can't do this to me. 77 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,601 I'm being kidnapped. 78 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,252 My nephews are in danger all because you wanted to have a fun day. 79 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,781 Why didn't you tell me to bring my hiking shoes? 80 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,116 Because then you would have known we were going on a hike. Duh. 81 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,326 And then you wouldn't have come 82 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,203 and seen how beautiful this nature shit is. 83 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,145 Mira, que nice. They got trees. 84 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,165 The mosquitoes are gonna to devour me. 85 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,417 They fuckin' love me. I have sweet blood. 86 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:20,088 I knew you'd complain about bugs, so I came prepared. 87 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:22,757 - I can't use that brand. - That shit irritates my skin. 88 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:23,824 It has deet. 89 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,720 That shit has deet. 90 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:30,139 - What's in this bag, bricks of cocaine? - This shit is heavy. 91 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,541 - Then just let me carry it. - No, I got it. 92 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,399 There's no reception here. 93 00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:42,009 We're gonna get lost and then P-22 is gonna devour us. 94 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,195 What the fuck is P-22? 95 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,947 You don't know what P-22 is? 96 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:48,575 It's a mountain lion that roams this exact same area. 97 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:51,828 That fool had a bad case of mange, so he was taken out of the wild for a bit. 98 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:55,123 But now that fool's back, and he's hungrier and stronger than ever. 99 00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:57,625 He's gonna smell this basket and then he's gonna devour us. 100 00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,253 Did you just learn the word "devour"? 101 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,320 Stop saying it. 102 00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:03,238 Hi. 103 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,160 Hey, check out those muscular asses. 104 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,348 If we got lost out here with no food, 105 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,208 we could eat those asses. 106 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,436 Muscular meat isn't good meat. 107 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,021 Those asses will be tough and gamey. 108 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,148 Damn fool. Take a joke. 109 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,483 I thought we could have a nice day together, 110 00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:22,734 but I guess I was wrong. 111 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:23,943 You're being a bummer about everything. 112 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,529 - I just hate hiking. - And I thought you did too. 113 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,782 I do hate hiking, but after what went down on your birthday, 114 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,826 it seemed like we might get back together again, 115 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:34,162 so I Googled, "Top ten things healthy couples do together," 116 00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,413 and hiking was number nine. 117 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,582 - What were the top eight? - I don't know. I got paywalled! 118 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,250 But apparently you think this was a stupid-ass idea, 119 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,674 so let's just fucking go back home. 120 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,113 Wait. Maggie! 121 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,282 Look. Check it out. 122 00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:49,761 A butterfly. 123 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,054 Look, I'm in the moment 124 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,205 and I'm appreciating the shit out of that butterfly. 125 00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:56,584 Wish this fuckin' butterfly knew how much I was appreciating it right now. 126 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,418 Come on. Come on. 127 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,003 Come on. 128 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,691 Damn. Don't appreciate it too much. 129 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:04,716 I might get jealous. 130 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,529 Fuckin' slut-ass butterfly. 131 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:10,097 Don't worry, that butterfly has nothing on you. 132 00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,367 Except, it can fly. 133 00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,035 And has way bigger tits. 134 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,269 Uh-unh. 135 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,526 Damn. Place ain't bad. 136 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,379 Good call. 137 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:25,630 Grass is nice. 138 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,757 These are dairy free, 139 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:31,451 specifically baked by moi, for your weak-ass body. 140 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,416 Damn. This shit is good. 141 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:38,959 When did you learn to bake? 142 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,253 Bitch, I bake. 143 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,048 Look who's back. 144 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,844 Damn. Those asses are buff! 145 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,740 What if I showed up to your place and I suddenly had a dumper that big? 146 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,309 Hmm. I'd start you an OnlyFans, move you to the streets. 147 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:56,995 We'd make millions. 148 00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:58,746 A prostitute? Like on Figueroa? 149 00:07:58,770 --> 00:07:59,771 Yeah. 150 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:01,398 Don't mind if I do. 151 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,836 Oh, shit. That fool's getting down on one knee. 152 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,588 Is he about to propose? 153 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:09,907 No. His legs couldn't support the weight of his nalgas anymore. 154 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,680 Oh, wait. Yes, dude. He's proposing. 155 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,289 Holy fuckin' shit. 156 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,601 The big dumpers are getting married. 157 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,269 If you ever pull some corny-ass shit like this with me, 158 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,480 I'd murder you so bad it'd be on Dateline. 159 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,881 - I would never. - Oh. 160 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,510 What you doing? 161 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:31,404 Maggie. 162 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,429 Margarita. 163 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,643 What you... 164 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,613 Come on. Come over here. 165 00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,312 Oh, God, one more time. 166 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,754 - Ohh! - You can still get hard. 167 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,093 What's that scar? 168 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,345 I got shot. 169 00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:17,349 Whoa. Do you think we'll ever get shot? 170 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,227 Maybe. Life is crazy. 171 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,771 What's that? 172 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,955 Oh, this is from my favorite book I read while I was in the pen. 173 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:27,961 It's called Harry Potter. 174 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,295 You guys know Harry Potter? 175 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,547 Duh. 176 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:31,881 It's an old book. 177 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,466 Damn, you know my boy Harry? 178 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,634 That's tight. 179 00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:35,802 You two are cool as fuck. 180 00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,626 Probably the most popular kids at school, huh? 181 00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:40,581 Not really. 182 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,249 What? 183 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,727 Hey, let's get serious, alright? 184 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,631 I'm your favorite tio. You can tell me anything. 185 00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,182 Is there anybody at school fucking with you? 186 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:53,278 Well, there's this one boy that kinda bullies us. 187 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:54,428 Fuck that! 188 00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:56,180 What does he do to you? 189 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,658 Does he sock you in the gut and give you a titty twister? 190 00:09:58,682 --> 00:09:59,993 No. 191 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:01,327 Does he throw wet paper towels at you while you're taking a dump? 192 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,370 No. 193 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,664 Does he put raw meat on your forehead and try to get a dog to eat it? 194 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,565 - No! - Then what does he do to you then? 195 00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,329 Hey, these aren't funny. 196 00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,915 Oh, yeah, right. Hey, I'm sorry, homeys. 197 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,793 Damn. Bullying has changed since my times. 198 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,420 This shit is dark. 199 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,024 Can you go kick his ass for us? 200 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,609 Yeah, kick his ass. 201 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:35,195 And after that, kick his dad's ass too. 202 00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:37,019 Yeah, yeah, well, I obviously could do that. 203 00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,365 But, you know, Hugs Not Thugs is teaching me 204 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,950 that it's better to talk this shit out. 205 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,434 No fighting? Come on. 206 00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,496 Yeah, we want violence. 207 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,582 We thought you were cool but it turns out you're just a loser, 208 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,875 you know, like Tio Julio. 209 00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,251 Hey, hey, kick back, alright? 210 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,544 I'm nothing like Julio. 211 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,004 Then prove it. 212 00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,298 - Alright, then, fuck it. - Let's go kick this kid's ass. 213 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,365 Yeah! 214 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,992 Something's up with my stomach. 215 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,804 I just can't eat that many nuggets anymore. 216 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,306 One thing I love about you, Julio, 217 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,958 is you can complain even when you're fed like a king. 218 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:13,048 So which way to the ocean view? 219 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:17,094 - This way. - Wait. You sure? 220 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:20,490 I told you I planned the whole thing out. 221 00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:21,699 We're gonna get there right at sunset. 222 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:22,808 It's gonna be tight. 223 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,445 Just seems like it would be the other way. 224 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,396 Do you trust me or not? 225 00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:31,066 Okay. No, you're right. I trust you. 226 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,028 - Follow me then, slut. - Alright. 227 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,103 You gotta kick him in his balls, Tio Luis. 228 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,647 No, you gotta curb stomp him like in American History X! 229 00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:53,815 Hey, hey, guys, chill. 230 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,024 Alright? Just trust me. 231 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,110 After this, they're gonna make memes outta me kicking his ass. 232 00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:58,736 That's not how memes work. 233 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,440 Hey, well, that's how they're gonna work! 234 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,561 Hey, big dawg. 235 00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:12,107 Sorry to bother you, uh, but these are my nephews and... 236 00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:14,419 Yeah, they said, uh, 237 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:17,571 you know, they've been getting bullied by your son, 238 00:12:18,197 --> 00:12:20,240 so I'd really, really appreciate it 239 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,469 if, you know, your kid could stop making memes of them. 240 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,679 I mean, he's a true artist. 241 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:25,722 Don't get me wrong, little homey gets down. 242 00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,141 But, you know, this generation, they get real sentido 243 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,416 unlike you and me, big dawg. 244 00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:32,336 You got it, bro. 245 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,564 I was actually just making dinner. 246 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,274 Why don't you guys come inside, huh? 247 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,498 Sit down, we can talk about this, get it all sorted out. 248 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,095 - Chicken. - Welcome. 249 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,246 My stomach fuckin' hurts. 250 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,415 I keep getting these sharp-ass cramps. 251 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,375 Are you sure there was no dairy in those cookies? 252 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,503 Yes, Julio, I'm sure. 253 00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:58,838 Maybe you just finally got your first period. 254 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,113 Felicidades. 255 00:13:00,531 --> 00:13:01,674 It's not funny. 256 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:04,052 And this uneven trail isn't helping. 257 00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:06,095 I knew we should have taken the trail I suggested. 258 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,847 Why don't you ever just trust me? 259 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:08,890 Oh, I don't know. 260 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:11,154 Maybe because you cheated on me with my boss at Domino's. 261 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,003 What the fuck, Julio? 262 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,856 We were teenagers. 263 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,484 You don't get to hang that over my head for 15 years. 264 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,611 Plus, I only cheated on you 265 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,279 'cause you cheated on me with my cousin Ofelia. 266 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,697 That's worse. That's family! 267 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:25,782 And she's fucking ugly! 268 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,200 She wasn't that ugly. 269 00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:29,786 You remember it wrong. You were the first one to cheat. 270 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,120 No, no, no. I remember it right. 271 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,748 You cheated on me freshman year, then I cheated back that summer. 272 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,292 No. You were the first one to cheat. 273 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:38,503 Or wait. Maybe you cheated after I cheated first. 274 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,548 - Come on, Julio. Who gives a shit? - It doesn't matter anymore. 275 00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:43,448 Can we just keep walking while we argue? 276 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:46,219 It's getting fuckin' dark and we gotta move. 277 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,245 P-22 is gonna fuckin' devour us. 278 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,140 I knew we should have taken the other trail I suggested. 279 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,642 You already said that! 280 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,811 God damn, you're driving me fucking crazy! 281 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:55,812 You just have to control everything, 282 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,772 our fucking relationship, which trail we take, 283 00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:58,815 even your fucking hair! 284 00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,233 Look how stiff that shit is! 285 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:01,925 - Oh, fuck. - What? 286 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,594 Holy shit. 287 00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,530 Is it really P-22? 288 00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:07,657 - It's my stomach. - I definitely ate dairy. 289 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,534 What were the ingredients in those cookies? 290 00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,202 They were fucking dairy free. 291 00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,954 How many times do I have to fucking tell you? 292 00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:14,122 List the ingredients! 293 00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:16,583 Oh, my fucking God! 294 00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:19,711 Sugar, flour, lactose-free chocolate chips, 295 00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:20,753 oats, butter. 296 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,089 Butter? Butter isn't lactose free! 297 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,465 Yes, it is! 298 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,925 Butter comes from the butter plant! 299 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,303 - Butter plant? - Maggie, what the fuck? 300 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:29,596 - Oh, no. - Oh, fuck. 301 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,681 I feel like I'm about to explode. 302 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,266 - It's-it's okay. - Just-just-just let it out. 303 00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,374 No, I can't. 304 00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:37,979 - Yes, you can. - I believe in you. 305 00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,606 What are you, a high school basketball coach? 306 00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:40,631 Get the fuck outta here! 307 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,026 Um, I'll keep a lookout. 308 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,819 This is not a fucking burglary. 309 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,279 - Go! Run! - I'm so, so, so, sorry. 310 00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:47,822 I'll get you some leaves to wipe with. 311 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,474 - It's fuckin' happening. - Just fuckin' leave me! 312 00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:59,149 I'm not leaving you. 313 00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:03,963 Get the fuck away! 314 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:07,616 Just... let... go! 315 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,177 Eric. 316 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:29,513 Get in here. 317 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:31,598 Now! 318 00:15:36,562 --> 00:15:37,813 Sit down next to them, Eric. 319 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:44,903 Eric. 320 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,406 This man has come all the way over here 321 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,909 to tell me that you've been making memes about his nephews. 322 00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,912 You shouldn't be a bully, Eric. 323 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,290 And I'm gonna tell you why. 324 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,686 Once upon a time, there was a little boy 325 00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:01,378 who used to get his butt kicked. 326 00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:03,589 A lot. 327 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,966 This boy was really little, 328 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:10,053 so little, that people used to call him 329 00:16:11,889 --> 00:16:13,015 Tiny Juan. 330 00:16:16,894 --> 00:16:18,687 So Tiny Juan had a bully, 331 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,773 who used to do really bad stuff to him 332 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:24,985 even worse than what you're doing to these boys, mijo. 333 00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:28,071 And that bully's name 334 00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,117 - was Big Luis. - Big Luis. 335 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,185 Big Luis bullied Tiny Juan 336 00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:41,376 really, really bad. 337 00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:45,839 He'd sock him in the gut and gave him titty twisters. 338 00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:49,092 He'd throw wet paper towels at him while he's trying to take a dump. 339 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:53,096 He even took raw meat and smashed it into Tiny Juan's forehead 340 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,807 and then had a vicious dog try to eat it. 341 00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:00,413 And Big Luis and all his friends would always call him names, 342 00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:03,458 like White Boy or Miklo 343 00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:07,420 or say stupid tonter�as like, "No mames, G�ero," 344 00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:10,948 which made Tiny Juan feel confused about his place in this world. 345 00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:14,576 But luckily, 346 00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:19,873 Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, 347 00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,000 saved Tiny Juan. 348 00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,294 Giving him strength, 349 00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:29,216 courage, and determination. 350 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,263 Because of what happened to him in school, 351 00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,742 Tiny Juan decided to dedicate his whole life 352 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:41,562 to getting really, really, really big! 353 00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:46,483 So that he would never, ever, ever, ever! 354 00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:48,986 Get bullied again! 355 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,161 God answered Tiny Juan's prayers. 356 00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:02,916 And Tiny Juan... became Big Juan. 357 00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,461 And Big Luis 358 00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:10,674 grew up to be this little bitch sitting right here. 359 00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:15,095 Which is why you should be careful when you bully kids, Eric. 360 00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:18,366 Because these little kids that you're making memes about 361 00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,601 can grow up to be big and strong. 362 00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:26,440 And maybe one day if they pray and they pray and they pray, 363 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,736 God will answer their prayers many years later 364 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,406 by allowing them to get sweet revenge 365 00:18:35,199 --> 00:18:36,533 on the boy that bullied them. 366 00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:38,785 And, my boy, 367 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:43,874 God... has rewarded me today. 368 00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:46,835 Ninos... 369 00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:50,172 go to your rooms and lock the doors. 370 00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:52,674 Now! 371 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:58,263 - Run! - Okay. 372 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,618 Hey, hey, listen, Tiny Juan. 373 00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:03,953 That was in the past, homey, alright? I'm sorry! 374 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,979 Please have mercy on me! 375 00:19:11,527 --> 00:19:12,819 What the fuck? 376 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,290 I'll pray for you, fool! 377 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,394 Let's get the fuck outta here. 378 00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:30,647 - What happened, Tio? - Tio, Michael was scared. 379 00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:32,065 He screamed like a little girl. 380 00:19:32,089 --> 00:19:33,316 You screamed like a girl! 381 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:34,567 - Hey! - Hey, hey, listen, listen. 382 00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,611 There's no reason to scream like little girls, alright? 383 00:19:36,635 --> 00:19:38,905 I just beat your bully's dad's ass, just like you asked me to, 384 00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:40,782 because I always look out for my familia. 385 00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:42,909 And because I'm way cooler than your Tio Julio. 386 00:19:42,933 --> 00:19:44,786 So let this be a lesson, alright? 387 00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:46,579 Just because some fool's bigger than you 388 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,414 doesn't mean you can't put hands on him, okay? 389 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:49,958 Big Luis! 390 00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:50,959 Hey, I'll race you fools home. 391 00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:51,984 Hey! 392 00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:09,751 It's okay. 393 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,260 - Dawg, what happened to you? - You look like shit. 394 00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:21,221 You smell like shit. 395 00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,018 Me and Maggie got back together. 396 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,566 I'll pray for you too, my boy. 397 00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,776 I'll pray for you too. 398 00:20:37,776 --> 00:20:41,776 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com 29386

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