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00:00:05,086 --> 00:00:10,338
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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But I need you.
3
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,710
I don't believe you. Prove it to me.
4
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,929
Please, I can't do this without you.
5
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,975
What is the word
on the street these days
6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,933
about herringbone?
7
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,762
- Not now, Dad.
- It's all right, all right.
8
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,242
I've got some options
in the downstairs closet here.
9
00:00:26,286 --> 00:00:28,332
I can't do this alone.
10
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:30,634
So tell me, are you in or are you out?
11
00:00:30,678 --> 00:00:32,509
Because if I walk out that door...
12
00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:34,686
Is houndstooth too whimsical?
13
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,038
Please, Dad.
14
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,693
Because if I walk out that door
and you follow me,
15
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:43,317
maybe...
16
00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,654
we'll start a movement.
17
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,355
I want to love it. I do.
I-I do, we ju... I'm just...
18
00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:54,793
- I'm not buying you in the role.
- Oh, what do you know? You...
19
00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:56,926
You're judging me on an acting scale
20
00:00:56,962 --> 00:00:58,563
of one to Backdraft.
21
00:00:58,614 --> 00:01:00,147
Backdraftis a cinematic masterpiece.
22
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,974
No, Backdraftis fire porn.
23
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:04,715
Now, I know what you two are thinking:
24
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,068
"here comes the Harvard lecturer
in his hackneyed tweed."
25
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:12,333
No, but I was thinking,
"How long is it gonna
26
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:14,422
take my dad to mention
he's teaching at Harvard?"
27
00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:16,511
Under a minute. It's impressive.
28
00:01:17,461 --> 00:01:19,724
So, just a bit longer than
you actually attended Harvard?
29
00:01:21,817 --> 00:01:23,822
So, mock me if you will,
but this is the beginning
30
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:25,476
of a new academic era for me.
31
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,783
Frasier Crane is stepping
into a world where he can
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impart wisdom
33
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- and influence young minds.
- Okay, Dad,
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00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:33,354
no one loves hearing
Frasier Crane talk about
35
00:01:33,396 --> 00:01:35,007
Frasier Crane more than I do,
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00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,870
but Eve's got a big audition this week.
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00:01:36,913 --> 00:01:39,751
Mm-hmm. It's a play about a girl
who works at a slaughterhouse
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00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,884
and she convinces her coworkers
to unionize
39
00:01:41,926 --> 00:01:45,192
through passion, grit and a push-up bra.
40
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:47,324
Well, if the dialogue
I overheard was any indication,
41
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,413
then the cows are the lucky ones.
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00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,329
Dad, could you just...
43
00:01:52,372 --> 00:01:53,983
could you give us
a little peace and quiet?
44
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,680
Oh, I'm sorry, yes,
if only Eve had a place
45
00:01:55,723 --> 00:01:57,291
where she could be on her own.
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Perhaps someplace that
I've already paid for,
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just directly across the hall.
48
00:02:02,159 --> 00:02:03,986
Oh, wait, aren't you late for the
boarding school
49
00:02:04,029 --> 00:02:07,083
where you teach unruly adolescents
the true meaning of poetry?
50
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,696
I'll have you know
tweed's sophisticated wool
51
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:14,699
and sensible elbow patches
are emblematic
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00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:17,049
of the intellect and compassion it takes
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00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,834
to inspire young minds.
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Are we twinsies?
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00:02:22,816 --> 00:02:24,034
I'll change.
56
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:27,810
Don't you have class right now?
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00:02:27,853 --> 00:02:29,671
I'm here to take your father
under my wing
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00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:31,586
and help him navigate
his first week at Harvard.
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00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:34,023
I'll be the Sancho Panza
to your Quixote.
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00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,329
All right, David.
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You know, I know my way around Harvard.
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After all, I did go to school there.
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Wait, you did? 'Cause I don't think
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you've ever told us that story before.
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00:02:44,391 --> 00:02:45,991
See, now, that's good acting.
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00:02:50,196 --> 00:02:53,333
_
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00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:56,828
Well, if it isn't world-renowned
psychiatrist, TV personality
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00:02:56,872 --> 00:03:00,528
and newly minted Harvard
educator Dr. Frasier Crane.
69
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:03,705
Please, we're friends.
Just call me world-renowned.
70
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,577
And to what do I owe the pleasure?
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00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:09,319
Oh, as I told Alan, I came here
to christen my newest ship.
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00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,365
And I thought that meant
there'd be champagne.
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00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,497
So I brought you a cappuccino.
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00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:15,891
You can imagine my disappointment.
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00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,371
Welcome aboard.
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00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,024
It's been years
since I've had anyone here
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00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:22,114
with any passion, excitement
or even vital signs.
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00:03:24,211 --> 00:03:26,293
- I-I also brought you this.
- Oh.
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00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:29,992
Oh, a replica "thinking cap"
from my old talk show.
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00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:32,650
How fun.
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00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:35,692
Oh, he students will go nuts
if you break it out for them.
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00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:38,000
Yes, well, you know,
I've put all that behind me.
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00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,610
Gone are the days when I would dole out
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00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,438
ridiculous advice to my TV audience.
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00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:44,311
Sure, sure.
You-you don't have to use it.
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00:03:44,353 --> 00:03:46,356
It's custom made, overnight shipping.
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00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,706
The point is, we're so glad you're here.
88
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,055
Glad? Thanks to your popularity,
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00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,928
hardly any students
have signed up for my class,
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00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:54,277
so I'm ecstatic.
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00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,374
Look around, uncle.
92
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,550
You are the rosy-cheeked debutante at
93
00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:07,899
this ball of the brains.
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00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,292
I am the strapping, young cadet...
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- Go sit down, David.
- Okay.
96
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:16,995
Welcome to a History of Psychology.
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00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,519
In this semester, I will be
your Virgil, leading you
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00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:21,522
not through the circles of Hades
but through the...
99
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,524
Excuse me. I have a question.
100
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,177
Oh, well, I can ramp back into
101
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,092
my Virgil speech in a moment. Uh, yes?
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00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:30,139
I think my boyfriend
might be cheating on me.
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00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,671
Should I confront him?
104
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,579
Well, I... I am sorry to hear that,
105
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,755
but, uh, this is not my old TV show.
106
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:40,976
I'm not giving out any
personal advice. Uh... Yes?
107
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,457
I have your first call-in question.
108
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,024
She's from Phoenix, Arizona.
She's my mom.
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00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:49,637
She wants to know if you're as
handsome in person as you were on TV.
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00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:53,608
That is not for me to say.
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00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,948
People Magazine said,
"Yes, absolutely," but...
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00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,341
we're getting off track. Now, now,
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00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,517
to our-our first lecture.
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00:05:00,983 --> 00:05:02,345
What made
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00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:05,348
Wilhelm Maximilian Wundt tick?
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00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,437
Hmm? Our story begins
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00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,439
- in Mannheim, Germany.
- Uncle,
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00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,354
this guy's not taking notes.
He's Googling you.
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00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:14,139
Stop searching "Frasier Crane height."
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00:05:14,567 --> 00:05:15,924
It's all right, David.
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00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,317
No, it's not okay.
122
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,579
Why does he need to know your net worth?
123
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,276
A man's true value has always be...
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00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,365
Oh, my God, uncle,
you're like a Rockefeller.
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00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:27,239
Kind of makes your Christmas
gifts seem ungenerous.
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00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,678
All right, all right.
That's enough, that's enough!
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00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,376
I'd like to make one thing
absolutely clear.
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00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,987
This class will have
nothing to do with my career,
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00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,120
my public life or my old TV show.
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00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:41,515
I am here to lead you on
a challenging academic odyssey.
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00:05:41,791 --> 00:05:44,925
And if you are here
for any other reason...
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00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,782
...then I invite you to leave now.
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00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,189
Great.
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00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,585
Well, we've
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00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,544
separated the wheat from the chaff.
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00:06:11,306 --> 00:06:13,047
Now...
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00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,567
...are there any serious questions?
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00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,640
I'm six foot, one.
139
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,383
Tried to finish the lecture.
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00:06:23,692 --> 00:06:25,167
As I continued to talk, their eyes
141
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,517
just started to glaze over
as if they weren't even...
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00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,480
Alan.
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00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,439
- Alan!
- Mm?
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00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,267
Yeah, I'm glad it went so smoothly.
145
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:41,009
- Another triumph.
- No. No.
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00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:42,576
I failed.
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00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,707
I wanted them to take me
seriously as a professor,
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00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:47,450
and they rejected me, completely.
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00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:51,280
If you would just stop trying,
I promise you will stop failing.
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00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:56,590
Dr. Crane, I just left
the registrar's office.
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00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,592
Eight students withdrew
from your class today.
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00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,827
Olivia, please.
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00:06:59,871 --> 00:07:01,943
Frasier's taking this
hard enough as it is.
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00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,597
Most of them then signed up
for your class.
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00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,650
Damn it, Frasier, get your act together!
156
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,253
What happened?
157
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,864
I thought you'd be natural at teaching.
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00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:12,170
You have decades of experience
in TV and radio.
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00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:14,042
But that's not teaching.
That's entertainment.
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00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,522
I'm not a dancing bear.
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00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:18,089
Oh, no one thinks of you
as a dancing bear.
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00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:20,483
But universities have changed
since you were a student here
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00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:23,138
for... thir... twe... for...
several decades ago.
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00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:27,621
Students today
need a little showmanship.
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00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,057
That's where you come in.
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00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:32,234
You make the hard ideas go down easy.
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00:07:33,402 --> 00:07:36,368
So, I'm the cheese
wrapped around a dog's pill?
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00:07:36,986 --> 00:07:38,632
Yes, you get it.
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00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,460
Now, if you could just see
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00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,985
how enthusiastically
the students would react
171
00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,291
to just a little glimpse of the old you,
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00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:47,902
I know you would change your mind.
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00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,233
I'm not changing my mind.
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00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,341
Okay, but we still need you to succeed.
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00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,038
We are paying you a lot of money.
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00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,431
You're paying me almost nothing.
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00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,477
Which is a lot of money in academia.
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It is all about the numbers.
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00:08:00,099 --> 00:08:02,090
And if you do not bring more
students into this department,
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00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,526
well, then the numbers are not good.
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00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,962
What do you suggest?
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00:08:05,764 --> 00:08:08,270
Uh, well, this is a new career for you,
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00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:10,490
so maybe you would benefit
from some seasoned help.
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00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:12,922
- That sounds reasonable.
- That's perceptive.
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00:08:12,946 --> 00:08:15,538
Mm-hmm. So, until you get your sea legs,
186
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,192
why don't you co-teach
your classes with Alan?
187
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,846
- Well, that's ridiculous.
- What is wrong with you?
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00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,804
My goodness.
189
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:23,111
Alan is-is lazy.
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00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,982
He doesn't even finish
anything he starts.
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00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,854
And Frasier is...
192
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,159
Eh.
193
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:36,167
What do you say, Alan...
is it worth a try?
194
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,821
Well...
195
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:40,302
Please, Alan,
help me help Dr. Crane help
196
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,817
the next generation of people
who will help other people.
197
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,656
Sounds like a Ponzi scheme
of benevolence.
198
00:08:47,817 --> 00:08:49,180
Are you really saying
199
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,792
I should take on extra work
without extra pay?
200
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,490
I am saying that you should help
your oldest and dearest friend.
201
00:08:54,983 --> 00:08:57,145
Without extra pay.
202
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,757
You can bring your cat
back to the office.
203
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,891
Fine, I'll do it.
204
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,545
Anything for a dear friend.
205
00:09:05,942 --> 00:09:07,808
You're talking about your cat?
206
00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:10,114
Well, who do you think
I was talking about?
207
00:09:12,741 --> 00:09:15,583
_
208
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,295
You in a hurry to get home
to get your cat?
209
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,559
No, no, that would be silly.
210
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:20,734
Frasier Crane,
211
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,649
meet Margaret Scratcher.
212
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,785
Now, if I may,
213
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:31,614
what's so offensive
about being a dancing bear?
214
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:35,183
You're a natural showman.
Why not use that talent?
215
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,401
I don't want to be a showman anymore.
216
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,085
I want to make an impact.
217
00:09:38,128 --> 00:09:40,188
Well, didn't you make an impact
on your television program?
218
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,755
Well, it's debatable.
219
00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,670
But then again, you know that.
You saw it.
220
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,239
You did see my show, didn't you?
221
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:49,632
Of course.
222
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,547
B... Bits and pieces.
223
00:09:53,108 --> 00:09:54,376
I may have missed it.
224
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,465
It was on for 14 years.
225
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,642
Here, let me show you.
226
00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:04,778
Perhaps the real reason
you have not yet asked
227
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,817
your daughter to forgive you
228
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,044
is that you have not yet
forgiven yourself.
229
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:25,189
Well, this is all rather insightful.
230
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,105
That was season one.
231
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,629
Here's a clip from...
232
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:32,806
...season 13.
233
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:35,678
♪ Dr. Crane ♪
234
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:38,072
♪ He can fix your brain ♪
235
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:41,075
♪ Keep from going insane
and take away the pain ♪
236
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,555
♪ Yeah, it's Doctor, Dr. Crane. ♪
237
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,601
Oh, Doctor!
238
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,181
How about that audience, huh, Gilbert?
239
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:02,662
Lovely, lovely, lovely!
240
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,707
Welcome!
241
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,753
Today on our show, I will be delving
242
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:10,147
into the mind of the world's
smartest pig,
243
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:12,062
Albert Swinestein!
244
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,718
Then, we'll unveil this week's
245
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:19,026
Frasier's Fra-vorite Things.
246
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,246
And Tom Arnold is here!
247
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,817
But first, let's put on...
248
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:30,820
...our thinking caps.
249
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:41,831
I see now why you may have felt
that you'd lost your way.
250
00:11:42,248 --> 00:11:43,727
At one point...
251
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:47,358
...I hawked a tinted moisturizer
with the tagline...
252
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:49,970
"I'm glistening."
253
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:53,816
And that's why I quit.
254
00:11:53,859 --> 00:11:57,238
My show had devolved
into meaningless fluff.
255
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,327
My greatest nightmare is that
256
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,242
that will be my whole legacy.
257
00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:04,767
Are you sure this isn't less
about how people will see you
258
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,030
and more about how you see yourself?
259
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,293
Don't you diagnose me
with your projection.
260
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,252
It's merely a suggestion of projection.
261
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,471
I have an objection
to your projection suggestion.
262
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:16,233
And I question your rejection
of my projection suggestion.
263
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:20,652
But if you're intent on
avoiding the razzle-dazzle,
264
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:23,351
then we'll have to win over
your class with substance.
265
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:26,876
And I think I know the very
substance we should start with.
266
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,226
Substance... you're talking
about a drink, aren't you?
267
00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:31,131
Oh, you mean a book.
268
00:12:31,174 --> 00:12:32,650
How about that?
269
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:35,319
Ah, I was right the first time.
270
00:12:37,796 --> 00:12:39,796
_
271
00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:43,110
Oh, hi. How are you feeling
about your second class?
272
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,068
Better. Alan and I dug deep last night
273
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,853
and came up with some things
I think you're really...
274
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:50,030
That's fantastic.
Uh, so I sent Alan in already
275
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,901
and, you know, I hope it's okay...
276
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,555
I futzed with the lighting a little bit
277
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,600
and I made a few other little changes
278
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:57,515
just to help you feel more
at home. You'll barely notice.
279
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,169
Thank you. You're really
taking good care of me.
280
00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:01,171
Anything for my "fra-vorite" teacher.
281
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,827
Did you say "fra-vorite"?
282
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,481
No.
283
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,788
Oh, just one more thing.
284
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,833
These doors are broken or whatever.
285
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:15,500
If you wouldn't mind using the, uh,
top entrance, just going around?
286
00:13:16,197 --> 00:13:17,590
Okay.
287
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:27,415
♪ Dr. Crane, he can fix your brain ♪
288
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,634
♪ Keep from going insane... ♪
289
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,593
It's my greatest nightmare!
290
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,464
Oh, Doctor!
291
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,037
Dr. Crane, where are you going?
You have class.
292
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,560
Well, that makes one of us.
293
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,390
You tricked me.
294
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:49,002
No. No, no, no, no.
I tricked you and Alan.
295
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:51,106
He had no idea I had that planned.
296
00:13:51,149 --> 00:13:53,203
And I was hoping that
once you saw how excited
297
00:13:53,247 --> 00:13:55,565
the students were,
you would embrace the old you.
298
00:13:55,608 --> 00:13:57,830
You want the dancing bear, don't you?
299
00:13:57,874 --> 00:14:00,581
No. What I want is a healthy
learning environment
300
00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:02,011
- for my...
- You want the dancing bear!
301
00:14:02,055 --> 00:14:04,278
Of course I want the dancing bear!
302
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:05,877
Why do you think I hired you...
303
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,734
for your negligible teaching experience?
304
00:14:07,778 --> 00:14:10,180
For the zero academic papers
that you've written?
305
00:14:10,223 --> 00:14:13,363
No. Because you are a big,
beautiful dancing bear
306
00:14:13,406 --> 00:14:17,421
in a pink tutu that the students
will actually pay attention to.
307
00:14:17,536 --> 00:14:19,015
That is why you are here.
308
00:14:19,372 --> 00:14:21,678
So dance, bear, dance!
309
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:24,412
I refuse!
310
00:14:24,455 --> 00:14:26,066
I walked out of this job once
before and I'll do it again!
311
00:14:26,109 --> 00:14:28,068
Oh, no, Dr. Crane, please, please.
312
00:14:28,111 --> 00:14:30,017
I put myself on the line for you.
313
00:14:30,042 --> 00:14:31,826
The numbers are bad. If you quit now,
314
00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,611
well, the numbers...
they're going to get worse.
315
00:14:33,654 --> 00:14:35,787
What are these numbers
you keep talking about?
316
00:14:36,831 --> 00:14:38,311
They're numbers. And they're bad.
317
00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:40,156
This is Harvard!
318
00:14:40,199 --> 00:14:41,167
For God's sake,
319
00:14:41,191 --> 00:14:42,359
Harvard's endowment alone
You see, the big numbers
320
00:14:42,402 --> 00:14:43,838
-could power a small country
-are little and the little numbers
321
00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:44,883
- for centuries!
- should be big... Okay,
322
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,493
it's not about the numbers,
it's about my sister!
323
00:14:47,292 --> 00:14:48,365
All my life,
324
00:14:48,408 --> 00:14:50,497
she's been just a little more popular,
325
00:14:50,873 --> 00:14:52,476
a little more successful.
326
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:55,198
I don't know if-if you've ever dealt
327
00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:57,374
with a-a sibling with whom you have
328
00:14:57,417 --> 00:15:00,858
a very intense
and competitive relationship.
329
00:15:06,492 --> 00:15:08,538
I am familiar with the dynamic.
330
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:13,955
I need your star power
to finally beat my sister.
331
00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:16,331
She just made provost at Yale.
332
00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:20,049
- Yale, Frasier, Yale!
- Don't you "Yale" at me!
333
00:15:22,131 --> 00:15:24,131
_
334
00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:26,185
Okay, one more time.
335
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,361
Can we take a break? I'm exhausted.
336
00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:30,102
The last time I pushed myself this hard,
337
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:31,799
John popped out.
338
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,801
You got to use it, okay?
339
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,281
Y-You're supposed to be
at the end of your rope
340
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:36,587
in this scene, right?
You got-you got to sound
341
00:15:36,630 --> 00:15:40,139
beaten down, pathetic, self-pitying,
342
00:15:40,163 --> 00:15:43,463
like no one on the face of
the planet believes in you.
343
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:44,812
Do you have an example?
344
00:15:54,126 --> 00:15:55,867
Am I...
345
00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:58,609
destined to be a failure?
346
00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:02,178
One by one, they've attached strings
347
00:16:02,221 --> 00:16:05,417
to my wrists and to my knees.
348
00:16:05,461 --> 00:16:07,531
I've been turned into a puppet.
349
00:16:08,488 --> 00:16:10,142
To dance at their behest.
350
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:11,883
And once I've outlived my usefulness,
351
00:16:11,926 --> 00:16:13,667
it's back in the box I go.
352
00:16:15,843 --> 00:16:18,108
Yeah. So, that, but likable.
353
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,500
I don't know. I feel like the energy
354
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:22,894
needs to be quirky and angrier.
355
00:16:22,937 --> 00:16:24,596
What? What would that even look like?
356
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,317
My ire is peaked.
357
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:32,338
They booby-trapped you
in your own charisma.
358
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:36,168
How dare they debase you
by forcing you to do
359
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:40,172
the very thing you did
by choice for 15 years?
360
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,131
I'm sorry, what is this about?
361
00:16:42,174 --> 00:16:43,349
- Allow me.
- Sit down, David.
362
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,655
Okay.
363
00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:49,317
Things aren't working out at Harvard.
364
00:16:50,311 --> 00:16:51,530
I'm thinking of leaving.
365
00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:54,058
Wow.
366
00:16:55,405 --> 00:16:56,884
Really?
367
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:58,712
Oh, sorry, Dad,
368
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:01,193
just so I have this
100% crystal clear...
369
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:04,109
you're thinking of dropping out...
370
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,317
...of Harvard?
371
00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:15,815
I... Dad,
372
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:18,689
do you think you gave Harvard
enough of a chance?
373
00:17:19,941 --> 00:17:22,040
You're just so bright, Dad. I...
374
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,824
I'd hate to see you waste
that kind of potential.
375
00:17:26,391 --> 00:17:28,612
Are you having trouble making friends?
376
00:17:30,101 --> 00:17:32,137
Tell you what...
why not take a gap year?
377
00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:33,617
You know, take a little time to...
378
00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:35,314
to think things over, 'cause, you know,
379
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:37,925
I'm just worried about
how this is gonna affect
380
00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:40,754
the rest of your life.
381
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,327
What am I supposed to tell my friends?!
382
00:17:47,413 --> 00:17:49,459
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
383
00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:53,593
Are you high on drugs?
384
00:17:57,423 --> 00:18:00,442
Very funny. Very droll.
385
00:18:01,775 --> 00:18:03,124
You quite finished?
386
00:18:03,168 --> 00:18:04,952
No, Dad, I'm just kidding.
387
00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:06,954
No one gets it more than I do.
Harvard's not for everyone.
388
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:09,783
- It's-it's okay to give up.
- I'm not giving up.
389
00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,590
No, I'm just saying there's
no shame in being a quitter.
390
00:18:11,614 --> 00:18:12,695
I'm not a quitter.
391
00:18:12,738 --> 00:18:16,225
Well, you quit your radio show,
you quit your TV show.
392
00:18:16,268 --> 00:18:17,878
Didn't you and Uncle Niles
once have a restaurant
393
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:20,011
you quit after, like, one day?
394
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:24,624
I'm not quitting, I just...
395
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,191
I can't seem to figure out
396
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,454
how to get my students
to take me seriously.
397
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:31,022
You know, the character
I'm auditioning for...
398
00:18:31,065 --> 00:18:33,198
nobody takes her seriously, either.
399
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,808
Nobody except for Julius,
400
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:37,507
the partially-blind
night shift custodian.
401
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,726
And the way he talks about her
402
00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:42,816
allows others to see her
for the leader that she is,
403
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:46,255
right up until he falls into
the industrial meat grinder.
404
00:18:48,996 --> 00:18:50,781
So...
405
00:18:50,824 --> 00:18:54,175
if I could find my Julius...
406
00:18:54,219 --> 00:18:56,047
one student with whom I could engage
407
00:18:56,090 --> 00:18:57,353
in an inspiring conversation
408
00:18:57,396 --> 00:18:59,233
and thereby win over the entire class.
409
00:19:00,108 --> 00:19:03,483
And I bet I know just the Julius I need.
410
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,319
I bet you do.
411
00:19:09,959 --> 00:19:11,959
_
412
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:14,326
After that brief hiccup yesterday,
413
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,850
I think it's time we got back on track.
414
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,852
Uh, but first,
does anyone have a question?
415
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,376
I have a question.
416
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:22,508
Anyone? Anyone at all?
417
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,771
Ah, yes, the young lady
in the back there.
418
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:27,608
Yes, I have prepared a question
for you, Dr. Crane.
419
00:19:28,514 --> 00:19:31,169
Oh, wonderful.
Well, I'm excited to hear that.
420
00:19:31,650 --> 00:19:33,302
I'm your helper.
421
00:19:33,858 --> 00:19:35,826
I'm... I'm your...
I'm your Sancho Panza.
422
00:19:36,483 --> 00:19:38,655
It's about Hermann Ebbinghaus.
423
00:19:38,698 --> 00:19:41,614
Oh, yes, Ebbinghaus.
Oh, very interesting.
424
00:19:41,658 --> 00:19:44,617
You planned this without me.
You totally went over my head.
425
00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:47,577
Yes, and as a serious academic,
426
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,101
could you tell me
what his whole deal was?
427
00:19:50,144 --> 00:19:52,625
And, please, no gimmicky showmanship.
428
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:56,325
Uh, excuse me... ma'am.
429
00:19:56,368 --> 00:19:58,675
Ma'am? I'm not a ma'am.
430
00:19:58,718 --> 00:20:02,026
I'm a miss. I'm a young, co-ed miss.
431
00:20:02,069 --> 00:20:03,506
Well, I'm convinced.
432
00:20:03,549 --> 00:20:06,639
Really? 'Cause you look like an old mom.
433
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:09,294
If I look old, it's because
somebody made me wear
434
00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:11,078
this stupid turtleneck.
435
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,080
Oh, now, as Ebbinghaus once said...
436
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:16,068
Nobody is buying this little act.
437
00:20:16,092 --> 00:20:19,130
Oh, yeah? Show of hands...
who thinks I'm a student?
438
00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,395
Oh... Well, she-she's not.
439
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:26,398
She's just a wannabe actress
who stole my moment.
440
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,226
Wannabe?
441
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,576
I have these dweebs
eating out of my hand.
442
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,404
You took advantage of him, didn't you?
443
00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:35,451
You took advantage
of this poor, gullible buffoon.
444
00:20:35,494 --> 00:20:39,237
Or maybe I'm here because
he knew that you couldn't do it.
445
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,891
Well, go find your own uncle,
446
00:20:40,934 --> 00:20:43,284
'cause this one's mine!
447
00:20:43,328 --> 00:20:45,417
Fight, fight, fight, fight,
448
00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:46,984
-fight, fight, fight,
-All right, all right.
449
00:20:47,027 --> 00:20:48,420
- fight, fight, fight...
- Everyone, calm down.
450
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:50,291
She's only here because my uncle pays
451
00:20:50,335 --> 00:20:52,525
for an apartment for her and her baby.
452
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,035
All right, stop, stop!
453
00:20:56,907 --> 00:20:57,951
Everyone.
454
00:20:59,126 --> 00:21:01,259
I think it's time...
455
00:21:01,775 --> 00:21:04,436
we put on our
456
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,395
- thinking caps.
- Thinking caps!
457
00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:21,671
Sounds like your class went well.
458
00:21:21,714 --> 00:21:24,891
I was teaching next door
and the applause woke me up.
459
00:21:27,459 --> 00:21:28,895
Yes.
460
00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:31,071
I had them eating
out of the palm of my hand.
461
00:21:32,377 --> 00:21:34,192
Did manage to squeeze in
462
00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:36,686
20 minutes about Hermann Ebbinghaus
463
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:39,340
because of this silly hat,
464
00:21:39,384 --> 00:21:40,820
and a story I told them about
465
00:21:40,864 --> 00:21:43,736
Albert Swinestein's quiz show scandal.
466
00:21:44,275 --> 00:21:45,782
So, why do you look so glum?
467
00:21:45,825 --> 00:21:48,567
Because this wasn't who I wanted to be.
468
00:21:49,002 --> 00:21:51,048
Thirty years ago...
469
00:21:51,517 --> 00:21:54,172
I left Boston
with my tail between my legs.
470
00:21:55,008 --> 00:21:58,316
I had dreams of returning, triumphant.
471
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,624
Now those dreams just keep
slipping farther and farther away.
472
00:22:02,973 --> 00:22:04,583
It's a rather fetching hat.
473
00:22:04,627 --> 00:22:06,324
May I have a look?
474
00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:09,545
Ow!
475
00:22:09,588 --> 00:22:10,763
What was that for?
476
00:22:10,807 --> 00:22:13,070
For being a baby.
477
00:22:13,113 --> 00:22:16,160
You're rich, you're famous,
your students love you.
478
00:22:16,203 --> 00:22:19,163
For some reason, you smell
naturally of sandalwood.
479
00:22:20,207 --> 00:22:21,687
What more could you possibly want?
480
00:22:21,978 --> 00:22:23,631
I wanted to make an impact.
481
00:22:23,817 --> 00:22:25,561
Wanted to realize the potential I had
482
00:22:25,604 --> 00:22:27,983
when I set out on this
career path 40 years ago.
483
00:22:28,738 --> 00:22:30,150
I see.
484
00:22:30,609 --> 00:22:33,873
That's a rather fetching belt.
Do you mind if I have a look?
485
00:22:35,567 --> 00:22:37,050
Am I being that ridiculous?
486
00:22:37,094 --> 00:22:39,357
You got 18-year-olds
to listen to a lecture
487
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,968
about Ebbinghaus for 20 minutes,
488
00:22:42,012 --> 00:22:44,797
and all it took was a silly hat
and a story about a pig.
489
00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,712
Which, by the way, I have to hear.
490
00:22:48,279 --> 00:22:50,716
♪ Dr. Crane. ♪
491
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,675
Oh, it was marvelous!
492
00:22:52,718 --> 00:22:54,807
The students were raving. You're a hit.
493
00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:58,811
Yes, Frasier was just
complaining about being beloved.
494
00:23:00,390 --> 00:23:02,150
Do you mind if
I take a look at this hat?
495
00:23:03,686 --> 00:23:05,078
Hmm.
496
00:23:05,122 --> 00:23:07,603
I have a little bit of a confession.
497
00:23:07,646 --> 00:23:09,518
This thinking cap
wasn't shipped overnight.
498
00:23:09,561 --> 00:23:12,521
I bought it years ago when
I came to see your show live.
499
00:23:13,067 --> 00:23:15,393
You were a fan of the show?
500
00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:17,569
- Mm-hmm.
- You-you didn't mention that.
501
00:23:17,613 --> 00:23:20,180
It's a little bit embarrassing, but
502
00:23:20,224 --> 00:23:23,662
I even ran my local chapter
of the Frasier Crane Fan Club.
503
00:23:24,663 --> 00:23:26,404
You were a Craniac?
504
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,325
Watching you lift up
and educate your viewers...
505
00:23:34,368 --> 00:23:36,762
that's why I decided to get my PhD.
506
00:23:37,807 --> 00:23:39,896
So, my show actually inspired you,
507
00:23:39,939 --> 00:23:41,375
despite all the meaningless fluff?
508
00:23:41,419 --> 00:23:44,248
Because of the meaningless fluff.
509
00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:46,918
Well, that's what pulled me in
at first, anyway.
510
00:23:46,982 --> 00:23:49,941
Thank God, because otherwise,
who knows where I would be?
511
00:23:50,129 --> 00:23:52,038
Probably a head of department
512
00:23:52,082 --> 00:23:55,128
at some backwater community college.
513
00:23:55,785 --> 00:23:57,192
Cornell.
514
00:24:01,047 --> 00:24:02,446
You know,
515
00:24:03,132 --> 00:24:07,271
maybe there's nothing wrong
with a little razzle-dazzle.
516
00:24:07,314 --> 00:24:09,490
Just take that old
negative self-talk and...
517
00:24:09,534 --> 00:24:10,753
hiyah!
518
00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:15,279
Thank you.
519
00:24:15,322 --> 00:24:16,976
Thank you both.
520
00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:18,282
Mostly Olivia.
521
00:24:21,524 --> 00:24:24,785
This thinking cap of yours...
didn't I see it in your office
522
00:24:24,810 --> 00:24:26,638
with a price tag on it last week?
523
00:24:26,682 --> 00:24:28,858
Oh, I may have embellished
524
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,990
to get a very sincere point across.
525
00:24:31,034 --> 00:24:33,297
Well done.
526
00:24:33,849 --> 00:24:35,215
Oh, and, uh,
527
00:24:35,259 --> 00:24:37,214
well done also on that, uh,
528
00:24:37,257 --> 00:24:39,303
pathetic Craniac thing you made up.
529
00:24:40,099 --> 00:24:41,483
Mm-hmm.
530
00:24:43,089 --> 00:24:45,178
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why were you in my office?
531
00:24:45,222 --> 00:24:47,107
Oh, looking for the cat.
532
00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:52,055
By the way, your desktop Zen garden's
been compromised.
533
00:25:00,716 --> 00:25:02,900
Y'all know how this goes.
534
00:25:04,589 --> 00:25:06,651
♪ Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
535
00:25:06,694 --> 00:25:09,917
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
536
00:25:11,465 --> 00:25:13,990
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
537
00:25:14,033 --> 00:25:16,601
Yeah, maybe. But I got you pegged.
538
00:25:19,112 --> 00:25:21,027
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
539
00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:25,056
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
540
00:25:26,941 --> 00:25:29,117
♪ Life's callin' again. ♪
541
00:25:31,137 --> 00:25:32,835
Back in Beantown.
542
00:25:32,878 --> 00:25:35,233
What is a boy to do?
40336
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