All language subtitles for California.Dreamin.2007.480p.DVDRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

"On 25 August, 2006,

"director Cristian Nemescu
was killed in a car crash.

"You are about to watch
his movie

just the way it looked
at the time."

"In memory of Cristian Nemescu
(1979-2006)"

"MEDIAPRO PICTURES presents"

"A film produced
with the support

of the National Film Centre"

"May 1944"

The British and American armies
are still engaged

in bombing Romania.

Their aim is to undermine
the government's determination

to remain
the ally of Germany.

The number of casualties
among the military,

and especially among
the civilians, is increasing.

Cut it out.

We are hereby urging the
population to strictly follow

the rules of civil defense
in case of bombing.

Upon the first warning signs,

take immediate refuge
in shelters.

Come on!
Come on already!

Come on already!

But where's Grandpa?

We forgot Grandpa.

Attention! Do not panic!

Don't waste your time
trying to locate valuable items

that you might want to save
from destruction.

Yes, sugar pie, it's not that
I don't want to come home.

We've had
this conversation before.

There are days when I just
have more work to do.

Come on, I'm not having
an affair.

Hold on just a second.

There's a call on
the other line.

Wait.

No, don't call me back later.

Hold on, I'll get Luiza
to pick it up.

Yes, Luiza's here.

Come on, honey.

Here we go again
with why she's here.

She's here because she's got
work to do.

Wait, there's another call.

These raids,
the first after April 6,

put the Podgorica leaders,

who enjoy Western support,
in a tight spot.

They have to face
the increasingly numerous

anti-NATO demonstrations.

Luiza!

Come on,
what are you doing?

The phone's ringing.

Talk to you later.

Ministry of Foreign Affairs,
office of the State Secretary.

Yes.

Yes, yes, sir.

Can you hold on
just a minute, please?

Thank you.

Wait, don't put her
on the phone.

Yes.

How's my little princess?

Now, I just talked to Mommy,

and she told me you
haven't finished your milk.

Okay, put Mommy back
on the phone.

Look, something urgent's
come up.

I have to go.
I'll call you later, okay?

Bye.

What?

NATO's calling.

So what am I supposed to do?

Have them call the minister.

Well, they said he's gone.
He's already left.

Hello?

"May 1999"

"Costume Designer"

"Film Editor"

"Production Designer"

"Director of Photography"

"Sound"

"Executive Producer"

"Story By"

"Produced By"

"Directed By"

Do I love tits?
Do you like tits?

Oh, man, I love tits.

- Me too, man.
- Tits are...

This is Stella,
and guess what.

I'm not home right now.

Hey, it's David.

We keep missing each other.

It's...

this time difference
is a killer.

So...

I was thinking of you,
wanted to say hi,

and...

and I wanted to say hi.

So I will try you again...

soon,
as soon as I can.

Okay, hope you're good.

Bye.

Listen, there was this guy
amongst camp, the one...

what's his name?

The guy with three tits.

What do you mean, three tits?

Like three nipples, you know.

You call those nipples?

Well, yeah, nipples.

I mean, this guy said
that there is a sure thing

how to get old Jonesy
to freak out...

Hey, form it up!

Fall in.

- Good morning, sir.
- At ease.

Welcome to Operation
Joint Guardian, gentlemen.

You're all now part
of Lima Company,

26th Battalion.

I'm proud.

- How do you feel?
- Proud, sir!

In fact, I'm damn proud.

- How do you feel?
- Damn proud, sir!

Yeah.

All right, we're gonna
rendezvous with Turnu Severin.

The rest is installation.

1900 hours, gentlemen,
Tuesday.

Backing the carousels.

And you save rounds.

I want to remind you all here
you're in protected air space,

non-combatant zone.

Worst-case scenario here
is condition one.

You are here
on a peacekeeping mission

on behalf of the peoples
of Kosovo.

On behalf of Sergeant McLaren
and myself,

sit back, enjoy the ride.

Sergeant,

as you see fit.

Detail,

ten-hut!

Thank you, sir.
Good morning, sir.

Fall out!

Let's grab our gear
and haul ass.

Fall in line!

Come on!

Come on already!

Ready to go?

These guys are stalling
with their bloody engine.

Some uniforms you got.

Fit us like gloves.
They're for special ops.

Can't feel the cold.
Can't feel the heat in 'em.

NATO standards.

1078, TAC 99,
Captain Doug Jones, sir.

How are you, sir?

Welcome.
I am Tanase.

Fall in!

So everything's tactical here,
set to go?

Marian, come here!

Tell the American commander
you'll be doing the translating.

Hello.

Welcome.
I am going to translate.

Good, good.

We're set to go here?
Can I take a look?

He wants to take a look around.

We have an 0900 departure.

Who's in charge here?

He's in charge.

Yes, sir.

We have a deadline to meet.

And we want to get the train out
of the harbor...immediately.

So let's get the engine
back together.

Let's get it fixed up.

Can we do it now, please?

Please.

He's asking you nicely.

Marching band!

The Yugoslavian news agency
reported that NATO missiles

have hit Bosnian
and Croatian refugee camps

in Marcici, South Belgrade.

The Serbian press claims
that the bombing

has damaged yet another bridge
across the Danube.

Hello.

Hi.

You came to pick Monica up?

I'm giving her
a ride to school.

Your father bought
you this car?

Yeah.
You like it?

It's the coupe model.

I'm thinking of running
for mayor myself,

if the money's so good.

Let me go see if she's up.

What do you want?

Your prince is here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Morning, sir.

Spit it out.

Boss, the 9:30 freight train
is on its way.

Help yourself to some chicken.

My daughter's not eating.

You got the items list?

Got it.

Morning, miss.

Come!

How's it going, princess?

Tell me what you're doing here.

I thought we'd agreed we weren't
going to see each other anymore.

Hold on, I thought you were
kidding or playing me,

stuff like that.

Baby, come on,
I was crystal clear.

That's it. It's over.

Es finito, ¿comprende?

So aren't you at least going
to tell me what happened?

Nothing happened.

That's the whole point.

You changed the spokes
on the car's wheels, eh?

That's it for today.

Take good care of the parcels.

Boss, on the 2:00 train,

we've got 10 boxes
of 3.5 ball bearings.

We're selling those
at 500 a pop.

10 boxes of tractor
ball bearings.

Say we send those to Galati.

I took PVC,
double glazings, wire,

and some other stuff in bulks

I reckoned we'd sell those
on the local market.

On the 8:00 freight train
we've got 10 cases of beer,

wine, soda, and stuff.

We'll sell those through
Gelu's supermarket.

And so on.

Cigarettes, we've got
2, 4, 6 times 5 cars.

30 boxes.

Take out more.

They won't catch us,
the goddamn asses.

And don't go selling
them to Gelu.

He pays after selling the stuff.

It's okay.
I've got a new deal all set.

Next?

Right.
Paint, cement, 100 each.

Spare Dacia parts
from the 8:00 freight train.

And then there's the fertilizer
on the Vâlcea freight train.

I promised the mayor 20 sacks.

I see.

I'm guessing it all adds up
to about 40 million.

This is the one
for the factory.

For the factory, huh?

Yeah.

Well, aren't they closing the
damn thing down so I can buy it?

Come on.

Take a decent share
from every car.

We'll record them as losses.

Man, these gypsies
are killing us.

They emptied half a car again.

And I'm the one
who always gets the blame.

I'll catch them.

I'll teach them
a lesson to stop stealing.

Isn't anyone going to answer
that phone?

Capalnita station.

Constanta station calling.

I'd like to speak
to the shift supervisor, please.

Speaking.

Yes?

Hello.

A train carrying NATO equipment
will pass through your station.

It's guarded
by American soldiers.

Yes, I understand.

It's been granted free passage.

Listen carefully.

Don't make any problems.

They have government approval.

Don't make any problems.

"I'd like to feel your hot skin
under my lips.

I love you."

It's me.

Listen, a train
with Americans is on its way.

I don't know, just about now,
in, like, 15 minutes.

Okay, man.
I got it.

Thanks.

Hey, guys, listen up!

Gather round.

Tell all the guys
to come to work.

We're going on
immediate strike.

Yeah!

Great!

Doiaru wants to put us
out of work

so he can buy the factory
real cheap.

The time has finally come
to make ourselves heard!

Yeah!

Let's go!

Victor, come over here.

By the power vested in me...

Excuse me.

Yes.

Hello, sir.

You've got yourself a problem.

A train with Americans will pass
and the word is out.

Good thing you called me.

Yes,
I'll be right there.

By the power vested in me,

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

Come on, sign here.

I have to go.

Kiss the wife.

Some water?

Cut it out!

Hi, do you want some water?

Water?

Yeah?

Here!

All right.

So Diana Ross, she knocks
on George Burns' dressing room,

and George Burns is there,
sitting there,

having a...

a glass of wine,
and, you know, they have sex.

And then she says,

"So why did you make me,
you know,

why'd you make me hold"...

I can't remember
the joke because...

Come on, guys!

Come on!

We're not going home
till somebody hears us.

Come on, move it.

Trifan, you're in charge

of holding that banner up
and across.

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

Come on, Trifan!

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

"STRIKE"

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

Give us our money!

We want our money!

Give us our money!

We want our money!

Give us our money!

We want our money!

What's going on here, folks?

Are you out of your minds?

We're picketing.

We've gone on immediate strike.

On the railroad tracks?

Listen, guys, a train
with Americans is on its way.

You want us to make fools
of ourselves?

We know.
That's why we're doin' it.

Maybe somebody will hear us out.

So what if Doiaru hears you?

The investor bailed out

'cause Doiaru looted
the factory trains.

We've filed for bankruptcy,

and you ain't doing squat
about it, Mayor.

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

Boss.

A train with Americans
is headed our way.

Some big shots or something...

Carrying NATO
military equipment.

Bucharest has granted
them free passage.

Maybe, but I'm the boss here.

Have them stop for a check-up.

Folks, people are going to hear
bad things about us.

Clear the railroad tracks,

and I'll buy all the oil
in your factory.

God bless you, Mr. Mayor.

We'll not sell ourselves
so cheap.

We're going all the way,
brothers!

All the way!

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

Thieves, thieves, thieves!

Give us our money!

You know what?

You're free
to do whatever you want.

That's why we've got
democracy, right?

- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.

Dorel Mateescu.
Doiaru: railroad stationmaster.

What's your freight
car carrying?

Well, it's American military
cargo headed for Kosovo.

It's a NATO car.

And its content is top secret.

I want to see your papers.

Well, don't you get it?

It's military cargo.

We've got approval from high up,
from the government.

No, you're the one
who doesn't get it.

I have regulations to observe.

Without proper paperwork,
I can't let you pass.

Is there a problem here?

The officer would like to know
if there's a problem.

I need to see custom
and transportation papers.

This is a NATO
military transport, sir.

This has been organized and
authorized by your government.

Any documentation will be
in your possession, sir.

You have international transport
from America?

That is correct, sir.

And where are you now?

I'm in Romania, I guess.

So according to the Romanian
transportation laws,

you need to have custom papers.

You might;
wouldn't you say that?

You fucked up my punch line.

Hello, my dear!

Whoa!

This is the legislation.

I don't make legislation.

I respect legislation.

You come to Romania.

You have to respect
legislation too.

Well, if you respect
legislation, sir,

you are hereby advised to comply
with what's been coordinated.

Do I make myself clear?

Have I made myself
understood here?

Have I made myself clear here?

Fuck USA.

Fuck NATO.

Fuck Bill Clinton...

and those pricks in Bucharest.

This is my station.

Checkpoint.

You need custom papers.

Without them,
you're not passing.

Enough said.
Put them on track two.

Tell him to find out what
the hell is going on right now.

What's going on here?

Check out what's happening.

Mister, what do you think
you're doing?

You hang around here.

I'm going upstairs
to take care of business.

Set a perimeter here.

Forrester, Horage,
Winston, Turner.

Set a perimeter.

Secure the area.

Sarge, Sarge!

Hey, McLaren!

"Day One - The Train"

So...

So how long have you had
your bags packed?

So had you got on that train,
you would've gone to Craiova?

Pitesti?

Couldn't I have just as well
asked Petre to take you there?

If only your mother were alive
to see you today.

What, you think it's got nothing
to do with that?

It has, damn it.

If she hadn't died
when you were born,

she could've told you herself.

I don't even know how you could
think of such a thing.

What, I don't take
good care of you?

Everything you've got here
in this room:

tape recorder, clothes,
records, whims.

Who gave you those, damn it?

Sometimes when I look at you,
I can swear it's her that I see.

Well, maybe that's just it.

You women are all alike.

I can understand why
you'd want to leave

this shithole
of a village.

Start studying!

Maybe next fall, you'll go
to college in the city.

What the hell?

You're smart.

You're beautiful.

I'm going to end up
alone anyway,

but that's just the way it is.

Shouldn't you be
in school right now?

Yeah, I should.

I'll have Petre drop you off.

Fuckin' son of a bitch.

Fuck.

What are we gonna do, man?

Go home?

No way!

We're going
to carry on with the strike.

Screw me.

We do that every day.

Okay, Mitroi.

Heard the news?

The Americans
have come to our village.

The Americans
are in our village.

They're at the railroad station.

- You mean right now?
- Yeah.

Go see for yourselves.

Have you heard?

The Americans...

Yes, here, in our village.

The Americans...

I saw the Americans.

Does the mayor know about it?

Well, of course he does!

Yeah, that's Capalnita, sir,
if you go to your map.

That's with a C.

Well, I got a stationmaster
here on a rag

about some documentation.

It appears he's stopped me
on a dead track here,

pulled my engine.

Well, whoever you got
in Bucharest up there

with some authority,

let's get him on a frog
right now

and get his ass down here.

I gotta keep
these toys invisible.

I want it rectified by 1100.

Thank you
for your cooperation, sir.

I appreciate that.

Thank you.

Did everybody see a new episode
of "Esmeralda" last night?

Yes.

Okay.

Today we're going to study
two verbs: quiero and trabajar.

Let's read out loud.

Come on.

"Quiero ir al teatro,
pero no tengo tiempo".

Write down the translation.

"I want to go to the theater,
but I don't have the time."

Who would like
to conjugate trabajar?

So many of you?

You want me
to call someone out?

Go ahead, Despina.

Trabajo, trabajas, trabaja,
trabajamos,

trabajáis, trabajan.

Good.

Now, using the same inflection,
let's try quiero.

Who wants to give it a go?

You.

Quiere...quiero...

No, no, no.

Neagu, you try.

"I yearn for the blossom
of your breasts.

Your beauty makes me ache."

Stop!

Attention, everybody.

"Es" is the inflection
for the second person, singular.

For the first person,
we use the inflection "o."

Everybody look
at the blackboard, please.

American soldiers
in our village.

Young guys?

I don't know, but we gotta go
take a look after class.

"Yo quiero" means "I love you."

Then we have:
tú quieres, él/ella quiere,

nosotros queremos,
vosotros queréis,

ellos/ellas quieren.

They say a train with Americans
has arrived.

It means, "I want to dance."

Quiero irme a casa,
"I want to go home."

And now, attention.

To say "I love you,"

add, like in Romanian,
the pronoun "te."

As you know from the movies,

"Yo te quiero" means
"I love you."

Don't forget to watch

the 395th episode
of "Esmeralda"...

- Wait, I wanna tell you
something.

Tonight.

So ladies, young ladies,
and, well, the rest of you,

to celebrate
the end of this boredom,

or, as the great scholar Gogu
would call it, "the 12th grade,"

I'm inviting you all to a great
party the day after tomorrow.

There are going to be
chicks, booze,

cool music,
all that stuff.

So everyone's invited to my
uncle's in the city, everyone.

Listen, aren't you guys
together anymore?

He was starting to piss me off,

going on and on with,
"Baby, you're so fine."

That sort of crap.

None of them is good enough
for you anymore, huh?

Hey!

Where's the boss?

Hello, Mayor.

Hello.

Where's the boss
of the Americans?

Hello, guys.

Hello.

It's in uniform.

I wanna talk to their boss.
I'm the mayor.

What's he saying?

He wants to talk
with your captain.

The captain.

The captain, go.

Captain Jones!

What kind of material is this?

Well, I don't know the texture,
but it feels good.

Yeah?

Oh, texture.

Yeah, texture.

You like it?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's nice.

You want one?

Yeah.

Welcome, welcome.

I am very happy.

Welcome in my village.

It's okay.
It's okay.

I'll do the translating.

Tell the colonel that...

It's "captain."

Tell the captain that
we're very happy to invite him

and the rest
of the wonderful guests...

He's happy to invite you

and the rest
of the wonderful guests...

To celebrate the anniversary

of our village
tomorrow evening.

At the anniversary party
of the village tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night?

Well, thank you.

We'll be long gone by then.

Tomorrow night, you told him?

Yeah, I told him.

Yes.

Welcome, welcome.

Very kind of you, sir.

Thank you.

That's very sweet.

Thank you.

Here he is.

Oh, hi.

Mr. Mayor.

Long time no see
in these here parts.

Well, what can I do?
I'm so damn busy.

You can see for yourself.

I gotta...
the stuff I asked you about,

those sacks of cement,
how's that going?

Oh, it's been taken care of.

I just need some guys
to come by later on

to go pick up the sacks.

Praise the Lord.
What's that I heard?

The radio guy said
you wanted to buy the factory.

What's up with that?

My daughter's
all grown up now.

She needs a nice dowry,
you see?

Good for you.

If she and Paul
are getting along, well...

let's get together one day,
talk things over.

Listen up,
we're having a meeting

at the village hall in an hour.

Yes, Mr. Mayor.

It's the village anniversary.

Wasn't that a month ago?

So what if it was?

Girl, that guy is so cute!

Now, who keeps
texting you, girl?

Aw, girl!

He kind of looks like
Ricky Martin, doesn't he?

Can you hear me?

Yeah.

You can.

Good afternoon.

Dear fellow villagers,
as you well know,

or as you may have heard
or seen,

a train carrying
American soldiers

arrived in our village today.

Apparently, from what
Mr. Doiaru has told me,

there are some paperwork issues
in Bucharest.

None of our business, anyway.

So till the papers
get sorted out,

it is our duty both as citizens
and as good Christians,

as God-fearing people

to warmly welcome our guests
from overseas.

As far as village affairs go,

the arrival of the Americans
can only do us good,

because, if we get publicity,

we will draw new investors
to our village.

Yeah, so Doiaru
can rip them off too.

Not to mention that our guests
are potential investors too.

We will welcome them
into our pubs and our hotels.

And we'll all benefit from this.

I'm hereby announcing
the anniversary

of our village's 100th year,
tomorrow evening.

Didn't we do that, already?

I know we've done that already,
but we're going to do it again.

There's going to be
barbecue, beer,

everything it takes to make sure
it comes out nice.

And he keeps staring at her.

So she's gulping down the food,
and at some point the guy goes,

"Ma'am, you eat like a sow."

And she goes...

Yes, honey.

Okay, I'll call
you back later.

Something important
has come up.

- When did this come in?
- Just now.

So what do they want from me?

Haven't got a clue.

Well, send it over to Defense.

See, it says here "urgent."

Okay.

And don't forget
to call the NATO guys.

Yeah, yeah.

Tell them it's all going
to be taken care of.

Okay.

It's not our problem.

It's for the Ministry
of Transportation.

Yeah, we'll clear it up,

but I don't think it's going
to make it there today.

But it'll be there tomorrow.

Yes, good day, sir.

Claudia, change the header
so that I can sign it.

Quickly!

There's no more room!

Go, go.

"Day Two - The Village"

And that's the story

of the first black man
I ever saw.

I was but a boy back then,

but I'll never forget
how the simple countryman,

the Romanian peasant,
welcomed this stranger warmly.

And we are all capable
of such deeds, us Romanians.

Mr. Mayor, what happened
with the black guy?

Well, you see, kids,

at first, people didn't even
realize he was American,

because we know that
black people live in Africa.

Only afterwards did we find out
that America's full of blacks.

But in those days,

people didn't fear differences
in appearance, so to speak.

They offered the poor man
shelter for two weeks

until we chased
the Germans away.

But, meanwhile,
the poor guy died,

because he was badly injured,

and we didn't know
how to cure him.

Okay.

Now let's talk a bit about
the history of the USA,

or, for short, America,

or, even shorter, the USA.

The country's capital
is located in Washington.

But that's not the largest city,
you know.

The largest cities
are Los Angeles and New York,

and so on.

The country is made up
of states,

such as Texas, California.

Anyway, just like our country
is made up of counties

such as Ilfov, Ialomita, Vaslui,
Bacau, and so on.

The country's economy
relies on...

Seduction.

It's all about seduction.

Sure, it also depends
on what you wear.

A short skirt
and a big cleavage

will always draw all eyes
to you.

That's where intelligence
comes in,

namely, your demeanor.

My advice is that you be...

Open, but without giving in
to their first offer.

This is the time for us
to speak up without fear,

to tell them what we really want
and who we are.

That's right.

I want us to hold
a civilized protest tonight

at the mayor's party.

Now, you're all going
to bring banners.

We're going to write down
clearly what we want.

That is, "Give us our money,"

"You thieves,"
"We want to work!"

"We're hungry," and so on.

Good morning, dear listeners
of this wonderful community.

To honor the event
that all of you

have certainly heard about,

we're kicking off a program
of musical bonding, so to speak,

with Romanian music and sweet
American songs for the soul,

meant to bring us
a bit of warmth,

not that it's not hot enough.

What I mean is the warmth
in our hearts and souls.

Right.

On the other hand,
a well-informed citizen

was kind enough to inform us
this whole village anniversary,

which is actually made up,

is closely connected
to our mayor's wish

to raise some money
for the local budget.

They say that the budget
has been depleted

of some massive sums.

Moving on, I have here
a list of musical requests.

I will begin reading them now.

Mihai.

Monica.

I noticed you like Monica.

You don't stand a chance,
for sure.

She's only gone steady
with the coolest guys around.

She got bored of them all.

She was with Alex,
the metal-head.

He was one of them
angry rockers.

Then Mihai, the guy
who graduated last year,

my sister's crush.

Anyway, he went off to college
in Bucharest.

The end.

She dumped that guy ages ago.

And yesterday
she cut Paul loose.

Come on, you pick him.

I'm not picking that geek.

We reshuffle the teams,
and I'll pick him, man.

Dude, check out your team.

You take him.

Andrei, move it.

You're on his team.

We're taking
the other one, okay?

Come on,
you've got a killer team.

Move it!

Come on, pass it!

You passed it to this dweeb?

He can't even move his feet!

And he's playing in his PJs too!

Come on, girls!
Put everywhere!

Yo, Mihai!

Get it over with those lights,
already, will you?

Well, those lights...

Don't touch!

Leave them like this!

Bless you.

Doiaru, you should really take
something for your allergy.

Dear Vasile, I've got something
I want to ask of you.

Anything, Mr. Doiaru.

I've got it covered.
Go ahead.

Well, there's this gang
of gypsies.

They really get my goat.

Every day they're out stealing
from freight trains,

there, by the turn.

You could have
your men guard them.

They get so bored anyway.
I got it.

Listen, Doiaru,
we've known each other for ages.

What's with these Americans?

I'm not saying
it's a bad thing,

but the mayor is out
throwing parties and all...

Well, if they don't have
the papers,

what am I supposed
to do about it?

Just because they're American
they think they can outsmart us?

Like we're Romanians,
so we're all morons, or what?

They have to obey the law.

Hey, Stelica, watch it.

Boss, boss.

What's up?

This is 1-7.

I know, man.
Go ahead.

Hold on, it's for me.
Go ahead! What's up?

The mayor is calling you over
to put up road blocks.

Come on, man,
I started the barbecue.

- You comin'?
- Of course I am.

Hello.

I'll see you at the party.

Vasile, you're not gonna forget

about that thing
we discussed, okay?

Of course not.
Didn't I tell you already?

Yes?

He wants to know if those
customs papers have arrived.

No, nothing's come in.

I'm breaking regulations
here, sir,

but if there's anything I can do
to compensate you financially,

I'd be happy to arrange it.

What, you're offering money?

I have a deadline to meet.

Now, I can pay you out
in U.S. currency,

and we can just facilitate
my departure.

How much?

I can pay you $2,000 U.S., sir.

Tell the man
I don't take bribes.

What, you think
if we're in Romania,

you can buy us out
just like that?

Third-world country, right?

What's he saying?

He don't want
to take your money.

I really think one phone call

on behalf of your own
Ministry of Transport, sir,

that's not breaking the law.

- No.
- No.

I don't call nobody.

It's not my job.
Sorry.

Whose job is it, sir?

Well, not my job.

Sorry.

Let's get headquarters
on the line here.

It's...
well, I think it's here.

So we're stuck
in a fold of the map

in the middle of Romania?

I mean, how much more stuck
can stuck be than this?

I beg your pardon, Corporal?

Sir, I think the men
would like your permission

to attend the mayor's party.

All right, set a perimeter here
as you see fit.

Make it a 360.

Dismissed!

Thank you, sir.

Hey, Sergeant.

Sit down here.

You have...

Belt, I'll fix it for you.

Sit down.

You only know that
I delegate responsibility

so you can achieve authority.

Correct?

I appreciate that, sir.

What would you do right now...

in my position?

I think it would be
a positive gesture

under the circumstances

if you attended the party
as well.

So you don't think
I should put my chevrons back on

and maybe fire a shot over
the bow here?

Shit, no.

Sir, I...we have to use
diplomacy, sir.

We have to?

You're the C.O., sir.

Of course.

Have fun.

Thank you, sir.

Yo, Marin,
you're so snazzy, girl!

Hey, suck my dick.

Yes.

I came to take the Americans
to the party.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Hold on, I'll go tell them.

Good evening!
Please, Captain.

Please, please.

It's my wife, my wife, Ana.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Sit down.

He's Father Nicolae.

My deputy!

Soda, Mayor?

Oh, give me a break!

Where are you?

Here you go, come on.

Leave me alone.

- Mr. Mayor, God bless you.
- God bless.

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,

honorable community officials,
dear fellow villagers.

I have the utmost pleasure
and honor

to bid you all welcome to
the anniversary of our village.

This year, we are privileged
to have among us

a few distinguished guests
from abroad,

who have come all the way

from the United States
of America!

Welcome, welcome!

This being said,
let's have some Romanian fun!

Change the station already.

I've had enough
of this asshole.

You tell me, how can anyone
not hate these Americans?

Hello.

Yes.

No, I can't hear you.

Hello?

I can't hear you.

Speak up, please!

Yes, hello.

Who's there?

Yes, yes, hello, Minister.

Yes, yes, hello, Minister.

Yes, they're right here with us.

We're at a party.

Yes, yes.

No.

That's not up to me, sir.

Well, see,

the station is administered
by the Romanian Railway Company.

And the man in charge
of the station is Mr. Doiaru.

Yes, but I promise you
that I'll make sure

their stay here
will be hassle-free.

Good-bye!

I just got a call
from the Minister.

Good evening!

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

It is my great pleasure
to introduce to you

the instrumental music group,
Band of the Universe.

Together with yours truly,
Nicky Priceless,

the ambassador
of traditional music,

we're inviting you to dance.

Trade Romale!

It's one for the money

Two for the show

Three to get ready

Now, go, cat, go

Don't you step
on my blue suede shoes

You can do anything

But lay off
my blue suede shoes

Well, knock me down

Step on my face

Slander my name
all over the place

Do anything
that you want to do

But uh-uh, honey,
lay off my shoes

Don't you step
on my gypsy shoes

Well, you can do anything

But lay off
of my blue suede shoes

Blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Blue, blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Blue, blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Well, you can do anything

But lay off
of my blue suede shoes

Blue, blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Blue, blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Well, you can do anything

But lay off
of my blue suede shoes

Well, you can do anything

But lay off
of my blue suede shoes

Blue, blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Blue, blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Well, you can do anything

But lay off
of my blue suede shoes

Blue, blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Blue, blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Well, you can do anything

But lay off
of my blue suede shoes

Great party.

My blue suede shoes

Want to dance?

Blue, blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Blue, blue, blue,
blue suede shoes

Well, you can do anything

But lay off
of my blue suede shoes

The next song is dedicated
to all the lovers,

for the beautiful lovers,
who really love.

But especially to Stana.

She knows why.

I love you, princess!

Love me tender

Love me sweet

Never let me go

You have made
my life complete

And I love you so

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For, my darling,
I love you

And I always will

Love me tender

Love me true

Excuse me, you dance?

You dance?

Yes, of course.

Love me tender

Come.

Love me long

Take me to your heart

You go ahead and translate
for the gentleman.

I'm very glad you're here

and that you've joined
this party of ours,

the humble servants of God.

Thank you.

We are very, very happy that
you are here in our village,

and we are very happy
that you are at this party.

Thank you.

This party is for you.

Thank you.

By the way,
what's your hometown?

What city in America?

Where are you from,
from America?

What town?

Right now, Bend.

Bend, Oregon.

I realized we've got
the opportunity

to twin our villages.

I mean, our towns,
I mean, our communities,

to become twins.

The mayor thinks that it will be
good that your town, Bent,

and our town, Capalnita,

Capalnita and Bent,
brothers, twins.

Capalnita and Bend,
twin towns.

Twin towns, brothers.

Yes, yes.

Does he understand
that we're here...

we're trying to stop
the bombing in Serbia?

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For, my darling,
I love you

And I always will

The train that I have here...

Yes, the train!

It's carrying equipment,

strategic communications
equipment for NATO.

Do you know NATO?

No.

NATO, NATO.

We could save lives.

I think he's got other business
to take care of.

That's what he means.

I want to continue
this conversation, okay?

I'm gonna be back, all right?

He's going to be back.

But I thank you.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you, okay?

We're gonna continue
to talk, okay?

All my dreams fulfilled

For, my darling,
I love you

And I always will

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For, my darling,
I love you

And I always will

Love me tender

What's your name?

Yes.

So you don't speak
any English, right?

Español?

- Español, really?
- Español, yeah.

- You speak Spanish?
- Si.

Rodriguez speaks Spanish.

Roddy!

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

B from Bogdan!

Jackpot, B from Bogdan!

"As long as your bed is warm,
your dish may as well be cold."

Hello?

Hello.

I could use your help.

Come in.

Thanks.

Sit down.

No, thanks.

Hey, this is a genuine import.

Do you like cigars?

Want eat?

What?

Want eat?

Want it?

Want eat?

Eat?
No, no, no.

Go ahead.

Cheers.

Sa-na-ta-te.

Cheers.

Whoa.

There you go.

Nice, huh?

Now, tell me.

What?

What's wrong
with Bill Clinton?

Letting Monica suck his dick
in the White House.

Come on, this is stupid.

I know what you mean.

Excuse me.

And you go to bomb people
for Bill Clinton?

Yes.

That's him on the phone.

Dear sir,
I can't break the law.

The law is crystal clear.

I have to check the papers
for every train.

In this case, the customs
documents are required.

For instance, how do I know
they're not carrying

drugs or something,
God forbid?

Sure,
I'll take your word for it,

but the law is clear.

I have to check the papers
for every train.

In this case...

But why are you
asking me to break the law?

Are you gonna sign me a paper

so I can let them go
without documents?

It's about your papers.

Do you have my fax number?

I'll give it to you.

When you have the papers,
send them right away.

I don't know
how to speak to you.

Okay, say something
in Romanian.

Romania?

Romania.

Say something...

say something Romanian.

What about Romania?

- Hello!
- Hello!

- I'm Maria.
- Hello, Maria.

Nice to meet you.
How are you?

I am good.
How are you?

Very good.

It's good to meet you.

You speak English,
for one thing.

Yes, I learned in school
a little bit.

- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.

Where did you go to school?

Here, here, in the village.

Oh, really?
Oh, then they...

well, that's good to find out.

Okay, well, it was nice...

- Bye.
- Bye.

I'll be waiting for the papers.

Good-bye.

So?

They'll send the documents?

Yes, I think.

You think?

So why, Mr. Jones...

Captain.

I'm a captain.

- I'm sorry.
- That's all right.

Captain Jones.

So why did they send you
with this train?

Classified information, sir.

I know what's on the train.

It's radar to spy
on the Serbs.

But why did they send you?

I'm in military
intelligence, sir.

It's called communications.

Communications.

Telephones and things?

Well, I think we're little more
sophisticated than telephones.

But you are not a real soldier?

No, I am a real solider.

Oh.

Okay.

You know, I understand you got
to show who's boss around here.

That's okay with me.

I just got a train
I got to keep moving, you know.

And I think we waited now.

I think we've waited
long enough.

You know what, Jones?

I wait for the Americans
to come much time

to save us from Germans,
Russians, Communists,

Ceausescu.

It's funny that you come here,
finally.

Better later than never.

Yeah.

My friend, it's simple.

Papers, Americans go.

No papers, Americans don't go.

Understood.

Mr. Mayor!

Yes.

Unfortunately, the firecrackers
aren't going to get here.

Shit!

What does that say?

What does the sign say?

It say, "Welcome."

"Welcome."

Thank you, thank you.

There was no need for you
to cause a riot tonight.

The people are protesting
peacefully, Mayor.

Andrei!

Andrei, where are you?

Go ahead and translate
the signs.

"We are starving."

The food and the drinks
are free only tonight.

Come on, sit down, and eat.

Come, sit!

Somebody get me
some wine over here.

Come on!

Come, mister.

No, there's no problem.

Everything is okay.

Bring some wine over here!

Stop killing each other
over nothing!

There's Doiaru,
who's driven us bankrupt!

It's all his fault!

We're killing each other
over nothing, people!

There's Doiaru,
who's making us go bankrupt!

Man, my dad was the only one
missing from this picture

with his bitter mug,

looking like
he's the king of all morons.

Wow, he's so cute!

I'm such a sissy!

The first time he stuck
his tongue in my mouth,

I started shaking.

Good thing he didn't stick
anything else in there.

Man, school sucks big time.

They're making us learn Spanish
with that cow

instead of English.

Who the hell learns Spanish
these days?

El guapito que te ponga
la lingua en la boca.

For once I meet a nice guy,
not a redneck,

and I can't talk to him.

Did you see the way
the mayor's brat butted in?

Did you see her?

What can I say to him?
Nothing!

What can I tell an American?

You know who speaks English?

Who?

Andrei, that guy in our class.

Andrei, Doiaru's daughter
is here to see you.

Can I come in?

Hello.

Tidy up a bit, will you?

It's okay.

Cool room.

Did you arrange it yourself?

Listen, Despina told me
about your English lessons.

Is that true?

Yeah.

Actually, I had one with
Mr. Nicoara this very afternoon.

He used to teach
at our high school,

but now he's retired.

I'll give you his number.

No, no, no, no.

That's not what I meant.

I was thinking maybe you
can help me out with something.

Cool, I've got
one of these too.

And if the Russians get here,
what are we gonna do?

What if the Americans
get here first?

I hope we'll manage
to keep this factory.

What was I supposed to do?

If I hadn't worked
for the Germans,

I would've lost it
three years ago.

I'm telling you, the Americans
will be here today or tomorrow.

What are you doing?
Eavesdropping on us?

"Day Three - Monica and David"

No glass for me, thank you.

Just the straw.

So...

What's your name?

Monica.

What's yours?

I'm David.

How old are you?

18.

You tell him I'm 18.

She says she's 18,
but she's not yet.

All right.

What do you do in life?

Do you have a job,
go to school?

Yes, we both are colleagues
in the same high school.

Last year.

What's he saying?

He asked what you do,

and I told him
we're classmates.

And what does he do?

Isn't it obvious?

So what?
Ask him anyway.

What do you do?

I mean, how come
you're in the Army?

Marines.

It's a long story.

It's kind of a long story.

But I'm hoping to get back
to the States pretty soon.

He says he can't wait
to go back to the States.

Ask him if he's got
a girlfriend.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Tell her she's cute.

He's got more than one.

I think you are
very, very cute,

and...

I would like to kiss you.

He wants to know what kind
of music you listen to.

I don't have a favorite type.

I mean,
I like a lot of genres.

She doesn't like compliments.

Hi, Sarge!

Listen, you know what?

Ask him if he wants to come
to the party with us tonight,

go to the city with us.

Right, so you've hooked up
with Doiaru's girl?

No, Dad.

Listen, you leave her alone,
okay?

She's out of your league.

Hey, cut the water!

You need to study
for college, okay?

Did you decide what it'll be?

Gimme water.

Not yet.

Sweetie, didn't you say
you'd go to the polytechnic?

Catrina, go on over
to the cellar

and check
for some plum brandy.

We're out of plum brandy.

You go check it anyway.

That'll do.

You listen to me good.

Your mom and I have been working

like slaves to keep you
in school,

pay for your tutoring.

Now, we're gonna keep working
to put you through college too.

Nae!

Come on!

Get inside!

Take him inside!

They broke the window.

Fucking pricks.

You look at me.

Once you get to Bucharest...

Come on, get inside!

The system's to be delivered
to avoid casualties, sir.

70 hours have passed here.
Now, I'll tell you what you do.

You tally whatever
these last 70 hours cost,

and you include in that price

the legal bill
they're gonna slap on the DIA,

'cause some jerks,
they pissed in an oil field

and hit a fucking shopping mall.

'Cause I'm the grunt
on the ground here

being held accountable,
you understand?

Are we understood?

What's going on there, sir?

Nothing.

I'm getting my engine back.

Sir!

You're gonna get my engine back,
Captain Jack!

Sir, sir, Captain Jones!

They said to use diplomacy, sir.

Who's "they"?

Sir...

Are you sent to keep
a fucking eye on me?

Of course not.

You get yourself a red pencil,
kid, get back to Georgetown.

That's where you're from,
isn't it?

Now, you stay out of my face,
or I'm gonna rip yours off.

If I catch you coming back,

I'll break your legs myself,
you hear?

You're going off to see
that American.

You see, Dorel,
if you don't let me go to them,

they come to me.

I told you not to call me that.

I go get the Americans.

Stop the engine.
It's eating up gas.

I want to come with you
in America.

Yeah, baby, yeah.
I take you with me.

You promise?

Yes, I promise.

I've come to pick up
the American gentlemen...

May I help you?

I've come to pick up
the American gentlemen,

take them on a trip.

We've prepared something
special, traditional stuff.

I came to take the Americans
to party.

Uh-huh.

Here you go.

Come, come.

Tour Eiffel, Paris!

Paris.

Whoa.

How big is that thing?

Can you believe how big it is?

Are we in Paris or something?

And now, we're going
to the hotel.

We have something special
for you.

Come, come!

It is not possible!

Come, come!

After.

We can do this?

They want to go all the way up
to the top.

They'll do that later.

Yes, later.

Let me introduce you.

Captain Jones.

The owner...

this hotel.

Please, please.

Come on, girls.
Nice and pretty.

Come!

Mr. J.R.,
hi, nice to meet you.

And I don't know if you know,
but I shot J.R.

Oh, girls.

Nice.

Come on, come on.

How come I don't have anyone?

Oh, oh, oh.

Come on, come on, come on.

Hi, hi.

How are you?

What are you guys up to?

You've hooked up?

Of course!

You're beautiful as always.

You sweet talker.

Yes, I understand.

I promise you that everyone
here, including myself,

are doing all we can
to solve this problem.

Okay.

Yes.

Good-bye.

Thank you.

Despina?

Despina?

What happened?

I broke up with that jackass.

All he wanted was to fuck.

He wanted
to take advantage of me,

like all men do.

You're just a bunch of pigs
and sex freaks.

I was really in love with him.

And I thought he was
in love with me too.

I was an idiot all along.

Why don't I get text messages
like Monica saying,

"You're everything I want"?

I'm stupid and ugly.

Oh, come on, you're not ugly.

Yeah.

You're a nice guy, aren't you?

I mean, you would want more
from me than one night, right?

Yo, Americano!

What are you doing in here?

I got to fuck her
before you did,

just you so you know.

I fucked everyone
in the village.

Now get out.
I need the bed too.

Come on, scram.

Fuck you, you idiot.

Get the fuck out, you hear?

You fucking wanker!

Yo, the police are here.

No shit!

Wait!

Hey, we're leaving.

Yeah, I'm coming.
I'm coming.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

Okay, just...I'm coming!

Come on!

Close the door!

Just a second.

Hey, that looks good on you.

One moment, one moment.

One moment.

And now, if I may,
tonight's great surprise.

The extraordinary
ballet and dance show,

The Mystery of Dracula.

Welcome to my house!

I'm ready for all of you
in here,

for I'm sure
that we must interest you.

Draculesti have the right
to be proud,

because in their veins flows
the blood of many great races,

who fought as I fight,
for lordships.

Boys, I have a great surprise
for you.

The girls from Transylvania.

Transylvania!

Girls, please.

Thank you very much.

No, thanks.

No, thank you very much.

Hey, hey!

- I'm talking to you.
- What?

How much longer
do I have to I wait?

I don't know, sir.
Sorry.

Hello.

Hold up!
Hang on!

Hang on!

A projectile dating back
to World War Il exploded tonight

in the basement of
the Ministry of Foreign Affairs

without causing any human or
material losses, but only panic,

especially because
the explosion followed

a massive power blackout.

This was caused by a short
circuit of unknown origin.

The population
was very frightened,

as they believed
they were dealing

with an American Tomahawk
air missile

which had missed its target,
Yugoslavia, and landed here.

A similar accident occurred
last week in Sofia.

What was that?

You totally suck
at shooting pool.

Check this out.

Come on!
It's my turn.

Check out dickhead over there.

You know this guy?
Didn't you see he left the show?

- This guy?
- Yeah.

He was there for the show?

He was there, but he took off.

Is that so?

You, there?

Yo! Yo, you deaf, wise guy?

Who is this guy?
Where's he from?

Come on!
Show me what you got.

Where you from, dude?

I was killing out there,
pulling out lines and stuff,

trying to learn some English.

And he was just standing there.

You don't like women?

Yo, dweeb!

You saw the hot chicks I had?

Like I don't know your girls.

What you gonna do about it?

Where's this guy from, anyway?

I think he's a faggot.

Yo, fag!

Where you from?

Let's brawl it out,
if you think you're so cool.

Come here!
Come on.

Shoot some pool, wham-bam.

Bring it on.

Why you sitting there
laughing?

What's so funny?

You've got ten seconds
to pull it in, son.

The girl
of local ballet opera.

I can help you.

You want to go?

Hi.

Hello.

It's fine in Romania?

You have food?

Okay.

Is him?

Thanks.

Doiaru, sir.

Staniloiu.

Secretary of State with
the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Nice to meet you.

Come on,
let's settle this already.

Did you have any trouble
finding your way over here?

It's far away.

It's like we're
not even in the same country.

I got a bit lost after Urziceni,
but I pulled through eventually.

That's yours, right?

Yeah, she's my wife.

She keeps thinking I go off

on field trips
with my mistresses,

so I took her along
to prove her wrong.

I meant the car.

Nice car.

Powerful too.

It is.

Over here?

Coffee?

No, thank you.

I had, like, three
on my way here, last night.

I'll say it again:
smashin' car.

Real smashin'.

- Mister...
- Doiaru.

Mr. Doiaru,
Here's what I came here for.

Did you bring me
the customs papers?

Well, no.

I came here to solve
this problem.

What problem?
There's no problem.

Hand me the customs papers,
and that'll be the end of that.

Mr. Doiaru, the Prime Minister
authorized to clear this train.

All right, but did you bring
the customs papers?

Your authorization
means nothing to me.

You know, the law's the law.

I assure you
that the Prime Minister

personally sent me here to
expedite the train's departure.

No need for customs papers.

If you don't cooperate,
we're going to replace you.

Let me tell you one thing.

I'm going to retire soon.

You think
such cheap threats scare me?

Let me explain one thing:
this isn't Bucharest.

How do you think
you're going to fire me?

Will you come over
and fill my position?

What will you do to me?

Well, we're going
to have him replace you.

Who, me?

I'm not the kind of guy
for this job.

There you have it.
He won't take it.

Mr. Doiaru,
we did a bit of research

and found out
you filed a request

to obtain the local factory.

We can arrange
that you do get the factory.

Let's put it all behind.

Come on, everybody has to win
if this train leaves tomorrow.

Until I see the custom papers,
this train isn't going anywhere.

Clinton himself
can come down here.

Go woo your women
in your fucking country!

No one's leaving!

Not you, not the Americans,
no one!

You're all staying here with me!

You don't get it!
You just don't get it!

You never will, bastard!

Go on, hit me!
Hit me!

Go on, hit me!
Fucking asshole!

Get back to your posts!
Get back to your posts!

Return to your posts.

Get back to your posts!

Things are not going to be
left hanging like this.

You're going to have to deal
with the consequences.

I'll be back.

You think we here
in the village love Doiaru?

Do you think that they here
in the village love Doiaru?

Let me tell you something.

He wants to tell you something.

We just need someone
to give us a hand,

one guy, anyone,
to get rid of this bastard.

We only need...

they only need some help,

someone to help them
get rid of this...

The state this village is in,
it's all his fault.

The state that the village is in
is all Doiaru fault.

That's it.

We...they are scared.

Who's got the guts
to fight him?

Who has the guts
to stand against him?

Others tried, too, and they got
their faces pounded in.

Others has tried,
but they failed.

The police is on his side.

The police is with Doiaru.

There is nothing to do.

But I was thinking just now
that since you're here,

you can help us do something.

Now that you are here,
maybe you can give them a hand.

Don't be scared.

Before we return,
the Americans will be here.

Come on.

Let's go, already.

Let go of him!

Come on.

"Day Four - Doiaru and Jones"

My dad's told me this story
1,000 times since I was little.

Her father told her this story
1,000 times before

when she was little.

As if he knew
that was going to be

the last time
he saw his parents.

He said that he knew on that day
that it was the last time

he would see his parents.

Anyway, they had arrested them,

because their factory had taken
some orders from the Germans.

They took them
because they have a factory

which made some things
for the Nazis.

The Russians got here,

and my father never saw
his father again,

my grandma either.

The Russians came,
so from that day,

her father never saw
her grandmother

and her grandfather again.

The communists kept them
in prison

because they had that factory.

The Russians kept them in jail
because they had that factory.

And that's why my father
is so desperate

to keep me next to him,

so that he
wouldn't end up alone.

That's why her father
is so desperate

that she doesn't leave him.

Oh, and my father was brought up
by one of his uncles

here in the countryside.

Her father was raised by his
uncle here in the countryside.

And the Americans never got here
until the day before yesterday.

The Americans
never came for here

till the day before yesterday.

That's just the way it is.

Sarge!

Anyway, that's all.

I got to go.

Sir.

Get your cammies back on.

Give these Romanian boys
a break.

Go into perimeter.

Okay.

What exactly
you want me to do?

Teach me English.

Oh, yeah?

And why would I do that?

Because I'm asking you.

I want to leave this place.

You think the American

is going to take you
along with him to L.A.

and have kids?

No American
will take me along.

I just want to get out of here

as far away as I can.

So will you teach me?

Come on, sit down.

This happens.

Can't put yourself
in front of love.

This is between me
and my daughter.

So you cook, huh?

Yes.

You want we eat?

No.

No?

It smells real good.

What is that?

Sarmale, Romanian food,
traditional.

Want to help?

No.

What are you doing?

I do it.
I do it.

I do it.

You look like
my mother-in-law.

Yeah.

I must look real stupid.

No.

You look like
my mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law.

This belonged to my wife.

Where is she?

She's dead.

She died a long time.

Sorry to hear that.

How about you?

Are you married?

Nope, not anymore.

Yo!

Let's play!

Who's this guy?

I don't know.

Tell me again what I say
when I introduce myself.

What?

What exactly
do you want to know?

I don't know.

"My name is Andrei.

"I'm this old.

I like to do this."

"Hello, my name is Andrei."

Hold on.

- Hello.
- Hello.

My name is Andrei.

My name is Monica.

I am 17.

Yes.

And I want to kiss you.

I'm Andrei,
and I want to kiss you.

I'm Monica and...

Yes!

I love you.

No shit?

I've been in love with you
for two years.

You wouldn't know,

'cause I'm no American soldier
or the coolest guy in town.

And, by the way, those
text messages were from me.

Raise your arm.

No, wait.

This one.

Raise this arm.

This.

Cheers.

Sanatate, right?

So how come you speak English?

I told you.

I was waiting for you.

Wow.

Is that just pork, or is that
beef mixed in with that?

It's pork.

That's just pork.

Pork.

And it's very fat.

Anyway, you put...

you put ham.

Smoked ham.

- Smoked ham.
- Smoked ham.

You put onion, rice,
salt and pepper.

And you...

Stir.

You stir.

No, no, no, no.

You do...

Mix, mince.

You mince the meat,
and you get a paste.

Nice.

That's probably what those
people in Yugoslavia look like

after you bomb them.

Where were we?

Hey, you!

I want to see that mayor.

Now?

Can you arrange that?

Now?

Pronto.

All right.

Back, back, back, back.

Here!

Oh, no!

Back, back, back, back.

You let the ball go.

I'm here.

Got it!

Mr. Mayor, you have the floor.

Quiet!

Quiet, folks!

Folks, keep quiet.

I want to tell you...

Where's the beer?

Hold on with that beer.

I want to tell you
that you all have a problem.

I mean,
we all have a problem.

And it's called Doiaru.

Quiet!

About that,
I want to announce to you

that I've invited Mr. Jones,

the captain of the Americans
stationed in our village.

He wants to tell you
a couple of things.

Quiet!

Quiet!
Listen close.

This is important.

Mr. Jones, please.

Okay.

People of Capalnita...

I want to thank you
for your hospitality

and your generosity.

He wants to thank you
for your hospitality

and your generosity.

You shared your food.

You shared your...
You shared your food.

What greater respect?

He respects you a lot.

What greater respect is there
than that?

You know, I'm...

I'm looking at this place.

He's looking.

He's thinking of this place.

It's paradise.

It's paradise.

You know, and I'm thinking...

but I'm with your mayor here.

I feel like a shadow
has been cast over this place.

You know, a shadow.

Like a cloud.

There's like a cloud
above Capalnita.

Doiaru has no respect for you.

You don't deserve
to be treated that way.

And I just...you know, yeah,
I'm just thinking this...

how do they pronounce his name?

Doiaru.

This Doiaru, right, Doiaru.

That's just disrespect.

He has no respect.

It's disrespect.

That's all it is.

That's it.

It's disrespect.

And no one deserves it.

No one deserves that.

No one deserves it!

No one!

I'm just looking at
all these faces here,

races and religions

and belief systems
and attitudes.

I mean,
that's what it's about!

It's about attitude!

That's why God put us here!

That's why God brought us here!

That's what it's
supposed to be, right?

As God intended us to be,
to be who we are.

That's what God
intended us to be!

Just to be who we are.

I mean, I may look like
a total fool up here,

but I want tell you something.

We may look like
strangers here, okay?

We may look like strangers...

I want to show you something.
You see this?

We're standing here now.

Goddamn it,
we're standing here as one.

United as one!

What if all of us, right now,

would stand up right now and be
united as one?

Everybody here,
let's be united!

United as one!

I'll tell you what.

We could defeat
the repression, okay?

We could defeat the tyranny.

We will defeat the tyranny.

We can defeat the Doiarus
of this world.

Right, defeat the disrespect,
the disrespect,

and be united
as God intended us to be,

as God intended us to be!

United as one!

United!

United, united, united!

God bless Capalnita!

God bless Romania!

God bless the U.S. of A.!

United, united, united!

We can defeat oppression.

We can defeat the Doiarus
of the world.

We can defeat the tyranny!

United, united, united!

Yes, but there's
one other problem.

He says
there might be a problem.

Doiaru's hand in hand
with Vasile,

the chief of police, the cop.

Boys, keep it down!

I'm talking
to this gentleman here.

Please.

Doiaru is related to Vasile,
the chief of police.

And if they use their weapons,
we're history.

I understand, I understand,
I understand.

You understand we can only fire
if we're fired upon?

You understand that?

They are not allowed to use guns
unless the other guys open fire.

If his police fires
as much as one round, one round,

we're your first line
of defense.

You have my word.

One round.

In the meantime,
just wait it out.

For the moment,
let's calm down.

Let it be he
who casts the first stone.

Let him throw the first stone,
that's it.

Just bring sticks, you know?

Sticks and stones
can break my bones.

Names will never hurt me.

That's some phrase they use.

Sticks and stones...

And then...

Mother Goose.

The goose mother.

I'm telling you,

if Doiaru's cops shoot first,
we'll protect you.

For real!

You bring your bats and stuff,
and the rest is...

I think we should bring
Doiaru here first.

Hold on, I have a plan.

He has a combination.

He call.

Don't you worry about a thing.

All the customs papers
are there.

Transportation documents,
licenses, everything you need.

At your service.

Sir...no.

So I'd appreciate it
if this train

leaves first thing
in the morning.

This is the representative
of the Railway Company.

He has to make sure
that you are dismissed.

My enemies hate me.

My enemies hate me,
but they don't have my success.

And they won't be like me,
not in their lifetime.

My enemies hate me,
but they don't have my success.

And they won't be like me,
not in their lifetime.

Hello!

Yeah!

This time I want fireworks!

Fireworks!

Lots of them!

We're gonna have fireworks!

United, united, united!

Hey.

Hey, it's me.

It's me.

I'm...

happy to hear your voice.

I'm in Romania.

You first.

"Day Five - The Last One"

So pay attention.

All the leaves are brown.

And the sky is gray.

The sky is gray.

If I've been for a valk...

Walk.

I've been for a walk.

The W is...

Walk...

on a winter's day.

I'd be safe and warm...

if I was in L.A.

California dreaming...

Doiaru will come from the right.

You guys stay on the barricades.

You don't step in
until I signal you to!

On such a winter's day.

Yes.

Listen, you don't suck
as much as I thought.

Boss, the villagers
just caught the gypsies

who stole from the trains.

They just called me
from the mayor's office.

Call in all the boys.

We're gonna tear
their sorry asses to pieces.

And tell Vasile to bring
in the cops too.

Listen,
I want to tell you something.

Not now, I'm in a hurry.

Come on, it's important.

It has to wait till I get back.

You won't find me here anymore.

I want to go
to college in Bucharest.

It's leaving in five minutes.

We come with you!

Yes, take us!

Yes, go to America!

Where the hell
do you want to go?

I'm going to Turnu Severin,

and in two days,
I'm back in Constanta.

Monica.

I want your phone number.

Phone.

They're coming.

Vasile, call your men.

Got it.

Yo, do you copy?

Listen up, okay?

What, you've had
too much of a good thing?

You want a fight or what?

Don't make me, or I'll cut
your balls off, all of you!

Thieves!

Somebody call in
those Americans.

Come on, who wants to have
his balls smashed first?

On behalf of NATO,
I thank you, sir.

Damn good work.

Come on!

It's your dad!

They started fighting!

They started fighting.
Come on!

No, no.

No!

Dad, no!

Whoa, whoa!

Harper!
Did you see that?

Oh, yeah.

"The radar became functional
at 1830, on June 9, 1999.

"Only two hours before that,

"NATO had announced
the signing of a peace treaty

"with the Serbian armed forces
in Kosovo,

"which put a final end
to the bombing

and the military conflict."

"Bucharest 2004"

- Hey.
- Hey.

Have a seat.

Sorry I'm late.

How are the little peaches?

Peachy?

What will it be?

A Coke, please.

So how's college?

Great.

You?

Yeah.

Yeah, what?

It's good.

I've got this one stupid
failed exam I need to re-sit.

Really?

Really.

You?

Yes.

I've got 15 minutes left
till my next class and...

Okay.

Let's go, then.

Thanks, but we're leaving.