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1
00:00:02,368 --> 00:00:03,369
(male narrator)
Previously, on "All Of Us.."
2
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:04,404
‐ Hey, dad.
‐ Oh.
3
00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:07,608
‐ This is my new friend.
‐ Ooh.
4
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:10,110
‐ That's my boy.
‐ Yep.
5
00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:13,179
How you doing?
I'm Robert. I'm Bobby's dad.
6
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:16,449
Um, Katie, and Bobby's told me
all about you.
7
00:00:16,482 --> 00:00:18,552
I stalked a sperm donor
and fell for him
8
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:22,222
and convinced myself that
I could have the whole package.
9
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:28,494
Well, I guess there's not
that much left to say then.
10
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,531
I'm sorry.
11
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,634
I don't know if there's gonna be
another man in my life.
12
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,602
But I know I'm going
to have another baby.
13
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,439
[instrumental music]
14
00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:49,516
What are you doin' up there?
15
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,851
I, uh, uh, uh
16
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,586
was thinkin' about
gettin' into modeling.
17
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,389
Oh, okay. Okay.
18
00:00:56,422 --> 00:00:58,258
Okay, alright.
19
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,361
And which website
are you thinkin' about
20
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,797
posting these pictures up on?
21
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,431
‐ You dropped something‐‐
‐ No, no, no, that's mine.
22
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,334
‐ Now, give it back, give it‐‐
‐ Uh‐oh, Neesee.
23
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:11,204
You're using that, uh,
dating service again, huh?
24
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,839
‐ Yeah.
‐ Oh!
25
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,841
Okay, okay.
26
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,177
Somebody, please,
take her tonight!
27
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,112
Okay, look, look, those aren't
for you to read, Robert.
28
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:20,881
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down.
29
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,117
I might be able to help you
with this, okay?
30
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:27,253
Oh, damn. This dude is a freak.
31
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,890
Sent you his baby photo?
32
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,257
Okay, okay,
give it back, Robert‐‐
33
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,894
Hey, hey, relax, relax.
34
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:37,130
"Procreation Nation Sperm Bank."
35
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,399
Wow, these dating services
are really
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00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,568
coverin' all bases, aren't they?
37
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,269
Neesee, why are you going
through a sperm bank
38
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,538
to find a man?
39
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:51,578
You are going
to find a man, right?
40
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,247
Well, uh, you may as well know.
41
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,750
I'm not tryin' to find a man,
I'm tryin' to have a baby.
42
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,752
And I have to do it
in the next three days.
43
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,155
I'm ovulating.
44
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,592
But that's crazy, Neesee.
45
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,361
You're gonna have a baby with
somebody that you don't know?
46
00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:09,896
I had a baby by you
and I still don't know
47
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,498
who you are most days.
48
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,700
♪ Hey ♪
♪ And even though ♪
49
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:14,735
♪ We're stressed sometimes ♪
50
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,503
♪ It's all of us now ♪
51
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:20,907
♪ Here we go ♪
♪ Here we go ♪♪♪
52
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,512
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
53
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,514
Neesee, since when
did you want a baby?
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00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:30,183
You know I've always wanted
more than one child.
55
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:32,418
We both talked about
having kids after Bobby.
56
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,287
Yeah, but you know who got
in the way of that, right?
57
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,189
‐ What?
‐ Our divorce!
58
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:41,294
Exactly, and life goes on
after divorce.
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00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:44,598
I mean, haven't you ever thought
about having another one?
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00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,633
Well, sure, but I never thought
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00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,603
about pickin' a name
out of a hat.
62
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:50,704
Neesee, why don't you just wait
63
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,806
until you meet somebody
you like?
64
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,241
Oh, yeah, I'll tell my ovaries
to just wait.
65
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,677
I'm sure they'll understand.
66
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,414
And what is
"A facial features report?"
67
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:03,684
Well, it gives you an idea
of what the donors look like
68
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,952
to make the process
a little easier.
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00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,754
Bobby had a 50‐50 shot
at being cute
70
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,455
when you were involved,
and this time
71
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,257
I'm not taking any chances.
72
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,294
Okay, look, Neesee.
73
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:15,295
Listen.
74
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:19,600
This is not a car
that you're customizing, Neesee.
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00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:22,869
You can't just special order
a human being.
76
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,405
Robert, I put a lot
of thought into this.
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00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:27,541
I didn't just wake up
this morning and say
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00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,375
"You know, I think
I want some eggs
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00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,712
and some bacon
and a side of baby."
80
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:35,716
‐ Fine.
‐ Hm.
81
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:36,983
Fine, just make sure
82
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,719
you send me at family photo
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00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,654
of you, your pimped out baby
84
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:42,488
and his daddy,
the turkey baster.
85
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,694
Mom, can you help me
with some of my times tables?
86
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,030
There's a quiz tomorrow,
and if Ray Tafeneli
87
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,634
beats me again,
I have to kiss Ingle Porter.
88
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,536
Baby, uh, can you give me
a minute?
89
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,837
Your father and I were talking.
90
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,404
But this is important.
91
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,340
I'm finally
the cool kid in school.
92
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,843
I can't be the one who kisses
the buck‐toothed girl.
93
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:08,314
Uh, no, uh, there'll be
no kissing of Ingle Porter
94
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:09,983
in school or anywhere else.
95
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:11,685
I'm right there with you, mom.
96
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,587
She also smells like salami.
97
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,991
Son, I know exactly
how you feel.
98
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,360
The girl that chased me
around the school yard
99
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,495
she smelled like
old hot dog water.
100
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,867
Robert, what..
Boy, go get your flash cards.
101
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,004
Well, she did.
102
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,610
♪ Something about you
makes me smile ♪♪♪
103
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,011
[laughing]
104
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,546
[snoring]
105
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,515
[laughing]
106
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,554
Wow, three movies in a row.
107
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:49,055
I didn't even think
I had it in me.
108
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,725
That's because you didn't.
You were snoring.
109
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,560
Fifteen mins into the first one.
110
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,495
Yeah, that was funny.
111
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:56,763
I can make funny sounds, too.
112
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,501
Hey, Patrick.
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00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,969
I told you not to do that.
Okay? It's not polite.
114
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,506
‐ And it's not funny.
‐ Oh, yeah.
115
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:06,807
Now, go get your stuff
and get ready 'cause your dad's
116
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:07,941
gonna be here in a minute.
117
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,945
Oh, so he's back in town, huh?
118
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:15,982
Yeah, and we have very different
philosophies on parenting.
119
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,918
Actually, we disagree
on just about everything
120
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,653
except for the fact that..
121
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,555
We wouldn't mind seeing each
other exile to another country.
122
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,123
[laughing]
123
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,891
You know what, I wouldn't mind
124
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,893
seeing you exile on my lap
125
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,829
over here.
126
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,697
[door opens]
127
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,833
Get a room for God's sake.
128
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,469
Haven't you heard of knocking?
129
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:37,904
You know, it's that thing
that the judge makes you do
130
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,140
before you enter
your ex‐wife's house?
131
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,675
I thought about it.
132
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,009
While I was doin'
all that thinkin'
133
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:46,547
I figured I could
already be inside.
134
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,848
Hey, nachos.
135
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,386
Hey, what's happenin' man?
136
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,756
Nothin' now.
137
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,624
Hey, man, I'm Robert,
you must be Shawn.
138
00:05:57,658 --> 00:06:00,093
Hey, and you must be crazy.
139
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,028
Run, brother, fast
140
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,731
while you're still happy.
141
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,833
You know, now I know why
our divorce was so expensive.
142
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,168
Because it was worth it.
143
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,770
Didn't they name a hurricane
144
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,104
after you or something?
145
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,472
Daddy!
146
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,776
[laughing]
Oh, hey, buddy.
147
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,110
Ah‐aah!
148
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:18,612
I'm ready to go.
149
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:20,046
Change of plans.
150
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,583
I got evicted,
so I get to move back here.
151
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:23,784
Yeah, daddy's back.
152
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,819
Oh, boo, boo, boo.
153
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:27,153
[laughing]
154
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:28,789
‐ Get rid of that, go!
‐ Yes!
155
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,457
No, no, no, not yes.
156
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,093
Shawn, what the hell happened?
157
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,961
Some people are sayin'
I didn't pay my rent
158
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:39,199
and my apartment smells
like a Jamaican night club.
159
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:43,136
Anyway, it's just temporary
until I get back on my feet.
160
00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:44,738
Calm down.
161
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,707
Well, you can get back
on your feet right now
162
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,875
and walk out the door.
163
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,944
As long as my son lives here
164
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:54,147
and I'm payin' you alimony
which pays your rent
165
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,216
I'll be here.
166
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,851
You understand,
don't you, brother?
167
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,987
Um, yeah,
I think I have an idea.
168
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,656
Robert, I'm so sorry,
I hope this
169
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,057
doesn't change anything
between us.
170
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,126
Hey, look, with all the baggage
171
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,761
that I have with my ex
172
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,029
who am I to judge?
173
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,531
Now, don't even trip.
174
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,533
We'll work this out, alright?
175
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,467
Great, while you two do that
176
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,970
I'm gonna take a nap.
177
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:20,541
Uh, you mind? You're sitting
on my bed, player.
178
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,145
♪ I'mma hold you down ♪
179
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,680
♪ Yeah yeah ♪♪♪
180
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,149
Wow, it is really gonna happen.
181
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,685
By this time tomorrow,
you are gonna be pregnant.
182
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,854
‐ Yeah.
‐ Are you scared?
183
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,923
[sighs]
A little.
But I know what I want.
184
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,025
See, I've been waiting on a man
185
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,862
to come along,
so I can expand my family.
186
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:42,963
But there's that saying,
you know
187
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,265
"Leap and the net shall appear."
188
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,767
You know what I mean?
189
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,604
[laughing]
No.
190
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,906
I mean, it doesn't seem
too overwhelming
191
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,841
to raise a child on your own?
192
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:58,044
Girl, please,
I'm the bomb ass mom.
193
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,650
Ow, my finger!
194
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,119
It's not that bad. Shake it off.
195
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,188
Mommy!
196
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:11,091
[groans]
Oh.
197
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,226
Oh, baby, it'll be alright.
198
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,195
I'll put a Band‐Aid on it
when we get home.
199
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,998
Okay, but it still hurts.
200
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,934
Can you kiss it
and make it feel better?
201
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,770
Of course.
202
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,041
Mm‐mm.
203
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,981
So all I have to do is
find the right donor
204
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,149
and I'm in business.
205
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,719
I think I just found
the perfect guy.
206
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,721
Oh, my God, he is everything
207
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,022
you were looking for and more.
208
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:45,191
‐ This is so great‐‐
‐ 'Okay. No, no..'
209
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,794
Ooh, ooh, okay.
210
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,830
‐ 'It's okay.'
‐ 'Michele, no..'
211
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:50,831
(Neesee)
'Michele.'
212
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,335
Actually, he wasn't
really all that.
213
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,637
He probably made up
all that stuff
214
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,171
about bein' a Rhode scholar
215
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,641
and a male model, anyway.
216
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,643
Oh!
217
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,810
[instrumental music]
218
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:04,978
Dirk, hey, hello.
219
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,346
Hey, here's your script, dawg.
220
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,814
‐ And look at this.
‐ What?
221
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,216
It says here
that a German study has found
222
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,986
that just ten minutes
of staring at a woman's breast
223
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:15,689
is roughly the equivalent
of a 30‐minute workout.
224
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,725
[laughs]
So, two ta‐ta's a day
keeps the doctor away?
225
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,226
Yeah. Hey, you know
226
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,695
the excitement
keeps the heart pumping
227
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,730
and increases blood circulation.
228
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,065
I think I added
five years to my life
229
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,968
with this issue
of "Fatback" alone.
230
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,235
Is there anything in there about
231
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,337
how to deal
with a crazy ex‐wife?
232
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:34,908
Dirk, you will not believe
what Neesee is about to do.
233
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:36,910
Let me guess,
she's gonna cover herself in oil
234
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:39,780
and jump in a kitty pool
full of fruit cocktail.
235
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,281
‐ Damn.
‐ What?
236
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:44,017
Look at the centerfold.
237
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,852
Dirk, can you focus
for just one minute?
238
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,821
Listen, Neesee is about to get
239
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,856
artificially inseminated
tomorrow.
240
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:53,193
Damn, Neesee's gonna have
a baby by herself?
241
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,327
How could a woman
as fine as Neesee
242
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,829
not be able to find a man?
243
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,064
Wait, that was
a stupid question.
244
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,000
Mm.
245
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:03,069
So, Little Deuce's gonna have
a sibling made in the lab, huh?
246
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,005
You guys are just determined
to screw that kid up.
247
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:08,008
Yo, but the crazy thing is
the place that she's going to
248
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,343
is so state of the art,
the last time I saw her
249
00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,212
she was pickin' out
her kid's chin.
250
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,279
[laughing]
251
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:16,016
It's like, "Yes, master
252
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,051
he's perfect now."
253
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,956
Wait, which sperm bank
is she going to?
254
00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:23,990
I don't remember, why?
255
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,258
Remember sophomore year?
256
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,127
The trip to Cancun?
257
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,795
Only way I could afford that
was by swinging by
258
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,831
few banks and makin'
some deposits of my own.
259
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,433
Oh, God!
Hey, let's change the subject
260
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,201
before this really
sinks in, okay?
261
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,738
Alright. How's Katie?
262
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,840
Yo, check this out.
263
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,341
Her ex‐husband gets evicted
264
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,843
so now he moves in with her.
265
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,679
No, I don't like that.
That's twisted.
266
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:47,981
Yeah, but, Dirk,
who am I to talk, okay?
267
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:50,917
When a date comes to my house,
they find Neesee.
268
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,986
Hey, man, you could have
any girl in LA
269
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,187
you don't got to put up
with this.
270
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,089
I know this.
271
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,758
But I just..
272
00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,126
I'm gonna play
this relationship out.
273
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,763
‐ I think Katie's special.
‐ What do you mean?
274
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,198
I mean, I think she's
wake‐up‐in‐the‐morning‐
275
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,399
first‐person‐I‐want‐to‐talk‐to‐
276
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,368
last‐person‐I‐want‐to‐see
special.
277
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,870
I'm not following you.
278
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,873
She's page 33 special.
279
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,277
Damn!
280
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:18,712
Hold on to her, she's a keeper.
281
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:23,449
♪ A week in my home ♪
282
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:24,751
♪ Hey hey ♪♪♪
283
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:27,153
Oh, damn!
284
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,190
Patrick is already wearing
big boy drawers?
285
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,192
[door opens]
286
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:35,361
Whoa, hey.
Don't fold those, bro.
287
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,764
I like to put 'em on
while they're still hot.
288
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,879
I'm so sorry. I..
289
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,314
I have no privacy anymore.
290
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,349
How did you ever get used
to living with your ex?
291
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,351
I mean, all we do is argue
292
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,887
and then we call each other
names and we slam doors.
293
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,289
Yeah, then you argue
over the bills, the bathroom
294
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,258
and who gets to watch the TV.
295
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,427
Exactly. Gosh.
296
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:11,131
And then you just fall back
into the same old patterns and..
297
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,966
Let me ask you a question.
298
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,868
Have you ever had a moment
of just weakness
299
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,203
with Neesee and just ended up
hooking up with her
300
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,073
and realized
it was a huge mistake?
301
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:22,408
Neesee?
302
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:26,112
Hell, no!
What are you talking about?
303
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,014
Why?
304
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,516
No, it's just, you know..
305
00:12:29,550 --> 00:12:32,118
Since Shawn and I divorced,
we've like
306
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:35,321
um, maybe hooked up
like one time.
307
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:38,491
Hey, look, y'all been married,
what, how long?
308
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:41,061
You know, you got a kid,
it's understandable.
309
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,428
Past is the past.
310
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,364
Not like it was yesterday.
311
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,332
[laughing]
312
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,444
I like my socks warm, too.
313
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:01,481
[laughing]
Make my feet sore.
314
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,954
[instrumental music]
315
00:13:13,844 --> 00:13:16,547
♪ We gotta try ♪♪♪
316
00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:18,349
Baby, trust me.
317
00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:19,951
Hey, look, it probably
will never happen again.
318
00:13:19,984 --> 00:13:22,453
I mean, it just reminded me of
why we're not together anymore.
319
00:13:22,486 --> 00:13:24,321
Katie, what were you thinking?
320
00:13:24,355 --> 00:13:26,858
Robert, I'm sorry, I swear I
didn't mean for this to happen
321
00:13:26,891 --> 00:13:29,260
but, I mean, having him
around is complicated.
322
00:13:29,293 --> 00:13:31,262
It's, it's, you know,
a constant reminder
323
00:13:31,295 --> 00:13:34,198
of‐of how things used to be.
324
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,632
I am constantly reminded
325
00:13:35,666 --> 00:13:37,234
the way things used to be
with me and Neesee
326
00:13:37,268 --> 00:13:40,604
but that's what keeps me
from sleeping with her.
327
00:13:40,637 --> 00:13:42,573
So you can honestly say,
after all this time
328
00:13:42,606 --> 00:13:43,640
you've never
at least thought about
329
00:13:43,674 --> 00:13:44,675
doing it with Neesee?
330
00:13:44,708 --> 00:13:45,877
What?
331
00:13:45,910 --> 00:13:47,378
I haven't done it with her since
332
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,246
Destiny's Child was together.
333
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,548
The original,
original Destiny's Child.
334
00:13:52,549 --> 00:13:53,885
(Shawn)
'You're lying.'
335
00:13:55,286 --> 00:13:56,287
Shut up.
336
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,355
Okay, I'm sorry
337
00:13:58,389 --> 00:13:59,857
but I don't share.
338
00:13:59,891 --> 00:14:02,226
Robert, look, I made
a mistake and I regret it.
339
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:03,460
Can we at least talk about this?
340
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:05,829
You know what,
if you had done more talking
341
00:14:05,863 --> 00:14:08,765
instead of reminiscing
with Shawn
342
00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:11,435
we wouldn't be having
this conversation right now.
343
00:14:11,468 --> 00:14:13,270
Which is too bad
344
00:14:13,304 --> 00:14:15,372
because I thought
I saw some potential here.
345
00:14:16,974 --> 00:14:19,376
Man, hey. Come on, man.
346
00:14:19,410 --> 00:14:21,412
You two make a good couple.
347
00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:23,347
We like having you around here.
348
00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:27,484
Don't end it over something
as harmless as ex sex.
349
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:29,887
It's not like we hugged
or kissed or anything.
350
00:14:29,921 --> 00:14:31,222
Like, you know..
351
00:14:41,732 --> 00:14:42,833
[instrumental music]
352
00:14:42,867 --> 00:14:44,735
♪ We got this love ♪
353
00:14:44,768 --> 00:14:47,804
♪ We've got it ♪
♪ Love ♪♪♪
354
00:14:47,838 --> 00:14:49,640
Okay, it'll be just
a few more minutes
355
00:14:49,673 --> 00:14:50,975
before we're ready for you,
Ms. James.
356
00:14:51,008 --> 00:14:52,243
Thank you.
357
00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:57,614
Okay. This is it.
358
00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:59,016
Ooh, I can't believe
I'm about to do this.
359
00:14:59,050 --> 00:15:01,685
‐ Oh.
‐ This is so exciting.
360
00:15:01,718 --> 00:15:03,587
You two are gonna be so happy.
361
00:15:05,689 --> 00:15:07,859
Michele, it's just
a piece of paper, boo.
362
00:15:09,526 --> 00:15:12,329
Have a little respect
for the father of your child.
363
00:15:12,363 --> 00:15:13,464
Sheesh!
364
00:15:15,366 --> 00:15:17,634
Yeah, he does sound great.
365
00:15:17,668 --> 00:15:18,903
But at the end of the day
366
00:15:18,936 --> 00:15:20,604
he's not gonna be here
to prove it.
367
00:15:20,637 --> 00:15:22,773
I mean, oh.. I mean..
368
00:15:22,806 --> 00:15:24,441
Just like you said,
it's just gonna be me.
369
00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:26,377
Uh, can I do this?
370
00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:27,511
I mean, will it be fair
to my baby?
371
00:15:27,544 --> 00:15:28,913
You can do this.
372
00:15:28,946 --> 00:15:31,382
But you know
I've always had help.
373
00:15:31,415 --> 00:15:33,017
Robert and, uh, and‐and..
374
00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:36,020
We complement each other
well as parents.
375
00:15:36,053 --> 00:15:38,856
Can I watch TV now?
376
00:15:38,890 --> 00:15:40,491
Well, son, you know the rules.
377
00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,359
If you want a privilege
378
00:15:42,393 --> 00:15:43,660
you'll have to earn it.
379
00:15:43,694 --> 00:15:46,563
Oh.
380
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:49,666
What is the highest waterfall
in the world?
381
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,669
‐ Tik, tik, tik..
‐ Uh, Niagara falls.
382
00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:53,837
[imitating buzzer]
383
00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:55,506
Oh, I'm sorry.
384
00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:57,441
It's Angel.. Uh.
385
00:16:00,444 --> 00:16:02,914
It's Angel Falls in Venezuela.
386
00:16:02,947 --> 00:16:05,816
So close. But tell him
what he wins, Neesee.
387
00:16:05,849 --> 00:16:08,485
Well, he didn't win that hour
of television, Robert.
388
00:16:08,519 --> 00:16:10,421
But he won't go home
empty‐handed.
389
00:16:10,454 --> 00:16:11,488
No, no, no.
390
00:16:11,522 --> 00:16:13,991
He has 45 minutes of..
391
00:16:14,959 --> 00:16:16,427
...dusting.
392
00:16:18,095 --> 00:16:20,697
Thanks for playing,
and we'll see you next time on..
393
00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:24,135
(both)
"Earn that privilege!"
394
00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:25,669
Until then, I'm Neesee James.
395
00:16:25,702 --> 00:16:27,538
And I'm Robert James saying..
396
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:30,041
(both)
Goodnight!
397
00:16:31,508 --> 00:16:33,044
You guys are hilarious.
398
00:16:36,113 --> 00:16:38,515
Neesee, I haven't known you long
399
00:16:38,549 --> 00:16:40,617
but from what I've seen
you are capable
400
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:43,420
with or without a man.
401
00:16:43,454 --> 00:16:44,755
You're right.
402
00:16:44,788 --> 00:16:47,824
[laughs]
Yeah, girl. I can do this.
403
00:16:50,527 --> 00:16:51,863
But do I want to?
404
00:16:54,031 --> 00:16:55,832
Ms. James, it's time.
405
00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:58,535
‐ Okay.
‐ Okay.
406
00:17:00,137 --> 00:17:01,472
Let's do this.
407
00:17:02,706 --> 00:17:03,975
Let's make a baby.
408
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:15,619
♪ So many
that I've got in mind ♪♪♪
409
00:17:15,652 --> 00:17:17,488
Bobby, what are you doing?
410
00:17:17,521 --> 00:17:18,689
Disinfecting.
411
00:17:18,722 --> 00:17:20,524
I had to kiss Ingle Porter.
412
00:17:20,557 --> 00:17:22,793
Math sucks and girls are gross.
413
00:17:24,862 --> 00:17:26,730
Tell me somethin' I don't know.
414
00:17:26,763 --> 00:17:29,433
Come on, I'm not gonna let you
guys go out like this.
415
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,735
We're born to be players.
416
00:17:31,768 --> 00:17:33,104
That's why the club
is your only answer.
417
00:17:33,137 --> 00:17:35,572
‐ It helps a man bounce back.
‐ No way.
418
00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:38,142
I'm not letting any girl
into my club ever again.
419
00:17:38,175 --> 00:17:41,045
From now on, I only want to be
in a club with boys.
420
00:17:44,515 --> 00:17:45,950
That's gonna mean somethin'
totally different
421
00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:47,919
when you get older, Deuce,
trust me on that one.
422
00:17:50,087 --> 00:17:51,688
Come on, man, guys like us
are not supposed
423
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,858
to be tied and bound
to one woman, alright?
424
00:17:53,891 --> 00:17:55,626
All they do is
lie to you, sue you
425
00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:57,694
and spend all your cash.
Who wants that?
426
00:18:00,898 --> 00:18:03,534
Dirk, I don't want to go on
meaningless dates
427
00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:05,036
for the rest of my life, okay?
428
00:18:05,069 --> 00:18:06,770
I want somebody special.
429
00:18:06,803 --> 00:18:09,006
I might even want to get married
or have another kid.
430
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,641
I mean, who knows?
431
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:11,943
But something is got to give.
432
00:18:11,976 --> 00:18:13,878
That's what
I'm trying to tell you.
433
00:18:13,911 --> 00:18:15,746
They're giving free lap dances
at Red Zebra's
434
00:18:15,779 --> 00:18:17,148
tonight before 10:00.
435
00:18:20,784 --> 00:18:22,253
Hey, what's goin' on?
436
00:18:22,286 --> 00:18:24,188
You know what,
I need to be asking you that.
437
00:18:24,221 --> 00:18:25,722
I'm not tryin' to get
in your business or‐‐
438
00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:28,025
Dirk, anytime anyone
starts a sentence like that
439
00:18:28,059 --> 00:18:30,261
they're already in my business.
440
00:18:30,294 --> 00:18:32,129
So, uh, what?
441
00:18:32,163 --> 00:18:34,031
I just need to know the name
of the sperm bank you went to.
442
00:18:35,732 --> 00:18:38,569
Procreation Nation. Why, fool?
443
00:18:38,602 --> 00:18:41,005
Let's just say our friendship
is about to get real awkward.
444
00:18:41,038 --> 00:18:42,039
Peace.
445
00:18:44,608 --> 00:18:46,810
So, how did it go?
446
00:18:46,843 --> 00:18:50,614
Well, it was
an eye‐opening experience.
447
00:18:50,647 --> 00:18:53,951
Okay, so, uh, did it..
448
00:18:53,985 --> 00:18:55,987
...take?
449
00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:57,688
I mean, because eventually
450
00:18:57,721 --> 00:18:59,756
we're gonna have to explain
all of this to Bobby.
451
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,026
Well, there's nothing
to explain.
452
00:19:03,227 --> 00:19:04,228
Not yet.
453
00:19:05,029 --> 00:19:06,497
I didn't do it.
454
00:19:08,332 --> 00:19:10,902
I‐I got there in that room and
455
00:19:10,935 --> 00:19:14,538
I kept thinkin' about
what you said. You were right.
456
00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:18,910
Every time I look
at my baby's face, I..
457
00:19:18,943 --> 00:19:20,844
There's gonna be
a big old question mark there.
458
00:19:20,878 --> 00:19:22,146
And I don't wanna go through
life not knowing
459
00:19:22,179 --> 00:19:24,048
who the father of my child is.
460
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,284
I'm glad you changed
your mind, Neesee.
461
00:19:27,318 --> 00:19:29,553
I mean, I,
I'm also sorry because
462
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,622
I know how much you really
wanted to have a baby.
463
00:19:31,655 --> 00:19:34,058
No, I still plan
on having it, Robert.
464
00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:36,227
I just need you to say yes.
465
00:19:37,294 --> 00:19:39,330
Excuse me?
466
00:19:39,363 --> 00:19:42,967
Robert, I want to use your sperm
to have another baby.
467
00:19:47,038 --> 00:19:48,639
[instrumental music]
468
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:54,678
(male narrator)
Next time, on "All Of Us.."
469
00:19:54,711 --> 00:19:57,348
Neesee, we have two houses,
a restaurant and a kid.
470
00:19:58,394 --> 00:19:59,862
Don't you think that's enough?
471
00:20:01,297 --> 00:20:02,731
What makes you think I want
472
00:20:02,765 --> 00:20:04,267
to be stuck on a island
with you?
473
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:07,003
‐ The women are gorgeous.
‐ Well, if you insist.
474
00:20:08,938 --> 00:20:11,107
‐ You really know who he is?
‐ Of course, I do.
475
00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:13,609
Hey, everybody, look who's here.
476
00:20:13,642 --> 00:20:16,612
It's Jay‐Z and Beyonce!
477
00:20:16,645 --> 00:20:18,247
[crowd cheering]
478
00:20:19,815 --> 00:20:21,784
Oh, Robert, Robert!
479
00:20:21,817 --> 00:20:23,752
Oh, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
480
00:20:23,786 --> 00:20:25,321
[screaming]
Thank you!
481
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:27,123
‐ Oh, hey.
‐ Oh.
482
00:20:27,156 --> 00:20:29,025
‐ Okay.
‐ Oh..
483
00:20:31,027 --> 00:20:32,328
[theme music]
34827
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