All language subtitles for All.of.Us.S04E10.Everyone.Loves.Rain.Man.1080p.Hulu.WEB-DL.AAC.2.0.H.264-CHDWEB_track3_[eng]

[instrumental music]

[doorbell rings]

[munching]

You know that was left over
from last year.

‐ Seasons greetings.
‐ Hey!

We just wanted to come..

You're being silly.
Show 'em how cute you look.

[laughing]

Don't we look cute?

‐ Yes.
‐ Yeah.

Makes me wanna get a rifle

and hunt ya.

(Robert)
Merry Christmas.

[laughing]
That's funny.

What's that, Courtney?

Yes, we should open
our presents now.

I didn't say anything.

Boy, if you beg us to open
those presents one more time‐‐

But you said I could open
those presents as soon as

Uncle Dirk and Courtney
got here.

They're here.

Okay. Okay, okay.

We'll let you open one gift

from everybody and then

we'll save the rest
for tomorrow, alright?

Alright, the first gift

is "To Bobby
from Uncle Dirk and Courtney."

Alright. Alright.

A doll.

Not just a doll.

That's a Delta 9
action assassin.

Has a built‐in sniper scope.
Pew!

[Robert laughs]

I picked it out.

Oh. Well, that explains a lot.

Hey, son, you could be
a little bit more grateful.

Mm‐hm.

Oh, Uncle Dirk,
thank you so much

for my Delta 9 action assassin.

What else you got?

Boy, you better be glad
it's Christmas eve.

Okay. This one...is from me.

[giggles]

‐ "Mutant Basketball 2?"
‐ Mm‐hm.

But you can only play this
on the Gamestation III.

Ha!

Then it's a good thing
that your dad went

to seven different stores.
Right?

Waited in line
for two whole days

got kicked in his shin
by some mean soccer mom

just to get you..

Brrr!

...pajamas!

Huh?

‐ Bam, bam.
‐ And..

A Gamestation III.
Holler at your daddy.

‐ Ha!
‐ But I asked for a crossbow.

Son, we already talked
about that.

You're too young for a crossbow.

But what's the point of asking
for something if I can't get it?

Have you ever heard
of the saying

"It's the thought
that counts?"

Uh‐huh, and I thought

I was getting a crossbow.

Promise me y'all visit me.

Well, now that Christmas
is over..

♪ Hey ♪
♪ And even though ♪

♪ We're stressed sometimes ♪

♪ It's All Of Us now ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

♪ Whoa whoa ♪♪♪

[instrumental music]

(Bobby)
Please don't give away my toys.

I'm sorry. I promise
to appreciate them.

Well, it's too late for that.

You can be appreciative
next Christmas.

‐ Hm.
‐ Spank me. How about that?

We can take the toys back home
and I can learn my lesson

from a good
old fashioned spanking.

Boy.

Nobody said you wasn't
gonna get that too.

‐ Mm‐hm.
‐ 'Bobby.'

The way you acted tonight
was unacceptable. Okay?

There are lot of kids
in this world that don't have

half the things that you have.

And if you don't appreciate
your gifts

then a kid
in the orphanage will.

Hi! Can I help you?

Yes, yes, um, our son
would like to donate

some toys to your orphanage
for Christmas.

Oh, cheese on bread!
That's fantastic!

[clears throat]
Do you mind filling out
a few forms?

‐ Oh, absolutely not.
‐ Oh, that is great.

[giggles]
Now, this is
so you can log in each toy

and attach a serial number
to it.

‐ So we know where it came from.
‐ Okay.

And if you could put down
the dollar amount of each toy

for tax purposes.

Oh, oh, no. That's okay.
We don't need a write‐off..

[laughs]
Oh, no, no! That's for us.

Always under the watchful eye
of Uncle Sam.

‐ And God.
‐ Oh, of course! Of course.

‐ Hm, do you have receipts?
‐ No.

Oh! Fish and sticks.

Well, since you
don't have receipts

this is gonna take a minute.

[giggles]
Well, follow me.

Alright, um, B‐B‐Bobby,
why don't you take a seat

and think about what you did?

‐ Okay.
‐ And take a look around.

Because if you keep actin'
the way you actin'

you might be stayin' here.

‐ Hi. I'm Lavon.
‐ Hi.

‐ Are you a new kid here?
‐ No.

My parents brought me here
to give away my toys.

All your toys?

[sighs]
Just the ones
from this Christmas.

They said I was ungrateful
because I was disappointed

I didn't get a crossbow
for Christmas.

What were you gonna do
with a crossbow?

‐ Hunt whales.
‐ Cool!

Hey, did you know killer whales
aren't really whales?

‐ They're really dolphins.
‐ No way.

Yup, so if they
didn't get you a crossbow

what did they get you?

‐ Gamestation III.
‐ Really?

I wish I had parents that
can give me gifts like these.

I hardly have any toys.

Wow. That's rough.

I'm used to it.

Hey, do you like "Pokemon?"

Yeah. You have cards?

Who needs cards?
I'm Shazam.

Okay, then. I'm Snorlax.
Yawn Attack.

[yawns]

[instrumental music]

‐ Neesee, ice.
‐ Oh.

Who knew there was so much
paperwork in donating toys?

Whoo. And I never wanna sign
my name again. Ever.

But that doesn't mean you can
stop sending my checks.

[laughs]

But at least Bobby
learnt his lesson.

I sure did.

I should appreciate
the stuff I have.

‐ Bobby, can you see my eyes?
‐ Yeah.

That's because you can't pull
a wool over 'em.

What's the catch?

No catch, really.

I acted like a spoilt brat
earlier

and I'm sorry.

Oh, well, I'm glad
that little trip

helped you learn your lesson.

It did, but can I add
one more thing

to my Christmas list?

Ah‐ha!

‐ What's that?
‐ I wish I could get a brother.

Excuse me?

I want a brother for Christmas.

Uh...honey, uh, that happens

when a woman and man
love each other.

Yeah, and wanna touch.

Yeah.

I know where babies come from.

I was wondering if I could adopt
someone from St. Jared's.

Wh.. Uh, son, look,
that place is not a pound.

It takes a big commitment
to adopt a child

and...we can't do that
right now.

But your heart
is in the right place.

Does that mean I can get
some new toys for Christmas?

No, honey. The only thing
you're getting is some Jesus.

You're going
to sunrise service tomorrow.

Okay, I guess I better
take out the trash.

‐ Mm‐hm.
‐ Yeah.

And you should be grateful

that you have trash.

Lot of people
don't even have that.

[instrumental music]

‐ Lavon.
‐ Did they say I could stay?

Not yet. But I'll keep
working on it.

You can live out here
until they come around.

Thank you for letting me
stay here.

It's fun to have someone
to play with.

Don't you play with the other
kids at the orphanage?

Not really. They usually
just play with each other.

(Robert)
'Bobby!'

Quick! Get back in the tent!

Oh, please. Oh, please.
Oh, please.

Oh, please. Oh, please.

What are you doing
out here, son?

Um, I looking at the night sky
begging God for forgiveness.

As I was saying, God,
please forgive me.

It's cool, son.
It's not that serious.

‐ No!
‐ Okay, it is that serious.

Um, you wanna talk about this
in your tent?

No, I just had gas in there.

So, that's why I'm not
getting in.

Okay, well, we‐we could sit
on the bench and talk.

No, I just really need to be
alone right now.

Really. I'll be in soon.

Okay. Alright, um, um..

Give a word up to God for me.

God said halle..

...lujah.

Look, I have to go back inside.

‐ Just make sure you stay quiet.
‐ No problem.

I'll pretend to be
a Hognose snake and play dead.

They can make blood drip
out of their mouth

and even poop on themselves

so predators won't eat 'em.
Right?

Yeah, I just think being quiet
will do the trick.

[instrumental music]

[doorbell rings]

‐ Hey.
‐ Crappy holidays.

Well, Merry Christmas
to you, too.

Where's Courtney?

Her mother decided,
at the last minute

to fly to Hawaii
for the holidays.

I just dropped her
at the airport.

Yo, what's up, dawg?
Where's Courtney?

With the Grinch
who stole my daughter.

She's with her mom.

I know how much you wanted
to spend Christmas with her.

But, yo, why don't you
just spend it with us?

You'll wear the antlers?

No. Maybe Bobby will.
Hey, Bobby!

Oh, you know, I think he's,
uh, playing in his tent again.

Really? Hm.

Think we were a little
too hard on him?

Well, I hated doing that to him
last night as much as you.

‐ But we had to do it.
‐ I know.

I know, right?
I mean, hey, it was..

I said no!

I'll let you be Prancer.

That's the gay one.

‐ Dancer.
‐ That's his partner.

‐ Vixen.
‐ She's a girl!

Well, who do you wanna be?

‐ Rudolph.
‐ No, I'm Rudolph!

I'mma go get Bobby.

[instrumental music]

Bobby, look, son, I know
we were kinda rough on you

last night, but it was
for your own good.

‐ Come on, talk to me, son.
‐ I don't want to.

Okay, if you're not gonna
come out, then..

...I'm gonna have to bring out
the tickle monster.

[both laughing]

Who the hell are you?

I'm the tent inspector,
and it looks like you passed.

I'm Bobby.

I'm a Christmas miracle!

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Hey, you're right, Neesee.

This eggnog
is making me feel better.

Mm‐hm.

[sobs]
Oh, God, my house is so empty.

Robert, my eggnog
was not that strong.

‐ This is not our son.
‐ 'Yeah.'

He's says
he's a friend of Bobby's.

Unh‐unh‐unh, Bobby.

Come here.

Start talking.

That's Lavon.

We made friends
at the orphanage.

I snuck him home
under the blanket

in the back of dad's truck.

Oh, you're one badass kid
these days.

I love it.

We're kidnappers.

I'm gonna call St. Jared's.

I'm sure they're worried sick
about you.

But you and dad said for me
to be grateful

for the things I have.

I'm grateful for my family.

So, I'm sharing it with him.

Just like the sea anemone
shares the protection

of its venomous tentacles
with the clownfish.

He's like a walking
"Animal Planet."

Isn't it cool?

Yeah, he's like a regular
little "Rain Man."

Listen, Bobby, just because
Lavon is an orphan

doesn't mean that he can live
wherever he wants.

‐ Oh, I'm not an orphan.
‐ You're not?

[giggles]
Man, this just keeps
getting better.

‐ Continue.
‐ My mom works at the orphanage.

Just like the way
the carpenter ant works

in the dried out bark
of a hickory tree.

Or like a pistol shrimp works
among the reefs in the briny‐‐

Damn the orphanage,
I'm taking

this little sucker
on "Jeopardy."

[beeping]

[instrumental music]

I wish you didn't have
to go back.

It was like I had a brother
for a while.

It was kinda cool.

You can always ask your mom
and dad to make you one.

I like the way you think, Lavon.

Here. Don't forget this.

You're still giving me this
even though I'm not an orphan?

Sure, just because
you're not an orphan

doesn't mean
you're not my friend.

Thanks. Well, I have a gift
for you, too.

Here, you can have
my invisible Pokemon.

I'm starting to see why
other kids at the orphanage

don't play with you.

[instrumental music]

Cannot believe Bobby's
running around smuggling kids.

I gotta find a good punishment
for him this time.

What? You can't punish a kid
on Christmas eve and Christmas.

Read your Bible.

Dirk, how are you gonna
quote the Bible

when you haven't even read it?

I dated a nun.

That's gotta count
for something.

That was her stripper outfit.

No, Sister Peaches
was the real deal.

You know what..

"Dear Robert,
I'm pretty and I want

"another pretty baby with you.

"Let's got married and...again

and give Bobby a boy brother."

[laughs]
How romantic.

Neesee wrote you
a love letter in crayon.

Hey, her grammar improved.

I wonder what Bobby's
up to this time.

Huh? Wh‐what's that?

A gift from you.

"Looney Toon...love songs."

Whoo! You're trying to set
the mood.

What are you talking about?

Mom! Look what I found
under your bed.

I wonder who it could be from.

"This candy is almost
as sweet as you, girl."

Daddy, you devil.

This kid needs his own
comic strip.

Okay, okay, Bobby,
why are you giving us presents

and claiming that
we gave them to each other?

And have you been sleeping
in English class?

Huh? "Boy brother?"
Come on, dude.

I just wanted you guys
to have another baby.

It'll be cool to have
a brother or sister.

Hm.

Um, baby

your father and I are friends

and that's all we are.

We're not having
any more babies together.

But it seems like you guys
are married again.

So, why can't you just do it?

Because we already have a child.

You.

And you turned out so great,
that's all we need.

Yeah.

[sighs]
Okay.

I just thought
I'd give it a try.

You know you brought this
on yourselves, right?

How, Dirk?

You live together
like you're married.

You argue like you're married.

You're even spending Christmas
together like you're married.

Hell, even I'm confused.

I'm gonna go play with Deuce.

We don't act like
we're married, do we?

Of course not.

Lord knows we don't have
feelings for each other.

Right.

You're not wearing this shirt
to Christmas dinner.

Why? What's wrong with it?

It's covered in hair.

Looks like you've been wrestling
with a German shepherd.

[both laugh]

Let me go and get my lint brush.

Ah‐ah‐ah, your foot. Alright.

Every time you go up an down
the stairs, you hurt your foot.

Ah‐ah‐ah, my foot is fine.

No, your foot is not fine.

The doctor told you to wear
that boot three times a week

and I haven't seen you
wear it once.

Well, listen, if you're not
gonna let me get the lint brush

at least let me get the wrinkles
out of this shirt, 'cause I..

You know, it..
That‐that shirt is fine.

Yeah, yeah.
Um, so is your foot. Yeah.

Yep.

Yeah, y‐y‐you go do this
and I'll do this.

Yeah, alright.

[instrumental music]

Uh...Babysaur...a‐attack.

It's Bulbasaur.

Um, Bulbasaur, attack.

Then what do I do?

Pretend to shoot
your leaves at me.

Oh, okay. Alright. Um..

Leaf, leaf. Leaf.

Ah, never mind!

I'm sorry, Deuce.
I don't watch "Power Rangers."

[screaming]
It's "Pokemon!"

Dirk, somebody dropped by
to see you.

Eh, if it's that chick
from across the street

her blinds were open.

Merry Christmas, daddy.

Courtney!
What are you doing here?

I thought you were
with your mom.

My flight got delayed.

We're not leaving till tomorrow.

So, I caught a cab and
came here to surprise you.

Wait here.
I'm gonna get the antlers.

Oh, I accidentally broke them

playing bull fighter with Lavon.

You broke them?

Tsk! My daddy got those for me.

[mumbles]

See that? She's defending me.

‐ Dad, she hit me.
‐ Eh, man up!

‐ Ugly.
‐ Stupid.

‐ Shut up.
‐ Shut don't go up, prices do.

Take my advice
and shut up too.

Looks like Bobby got his wish.

He got a sister for Christmas.

Oh, yeah, and see

you didn't even
have to touch me.

Thank God.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[grunting]

[screams]

[grunts]

Oh!

Oh!

Merry Christmas, little brother.

[Bobby screaming]
Daddy!

[theme music]