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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,330 * My eyes are gettin' weary* 2 00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:07,130 * My back is gettin' tight* 3 00:00:07,170 --> 00:00:08,750 * I'm sittin' here in traffic* 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,840 * On the Queensboro Bridge tonight* 5 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:17,350 * But I don't care, 'cause all I want to do* 6 00:00:17,390 --> 00:00:21,270 * Is cash my check and drive right home to you* 7 00:00:23,180 --> 00:00:24,980 * 'Cause, baby, all my life* 8 00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:29,190 * I will be drivin' home to you* 9 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:58,930 [TIRES SCREECH] 10 00:00:58,970 --> 00:01:01,100 [THUD] 11 00:01:01,930 --> 00:01:03,560 What the-- 12 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:06,600 [PEOPLE CHATTERING IN CHINESE] 13 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,560 DOUG: Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm sorry. Excuse me. 14 00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:12,190 Oh, my God. 15 00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:15,820 You saw. He ran right out in front of me. 16 00:01:15,860 --> 00:01:20,370 Oh, my God. Come on. Come on. 17 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,080 Don't you die on me! 18 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,120 [CHICKEN CLUCKING] 19 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,500 Oh. He's...he's okay. 20 00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:29,330 Does anybody know who he belongs to? 21 00:01:45,810 --> 00:01:47,190 MR. KAUFMAN: Hold it. 22 00:01:47,230 --> 00:01:49,980 Oh. Mr. Kaufman. 23 00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:51,820 Carrie. 24 00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:55,650 I guess I'm not the only one late today, huh? 25 00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:57,820 I got here at 6 A.M. 26 00:01:57,860 --> 00:01:58,990 Mmm. 27 00:01:59,030 --> 00:02:00,450 What you got there, a book? 28 00:02:00,490 --> 00:02:03,240 Oh. "The Contortionist's Daughter." 29 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,120 It follows a bedridden professor 30 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:06,450 and his growing disillusionment 31 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:10,040 in 17th-century Prussia. 32 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,840 Ooh. That sounds fascinating. 33 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,550 Well...then here. 34 00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:16,090 -What? -I just finished it 35 00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,970 this morning. You can have my copy. 36 00:02:18,010 --> 00:02:19,180 Oh, no, no, no, no. 37 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,140 Oh, please. I'd love to have someone 38 00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:22,470 to discuss it with. 39 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,350 My wife thinks 1,100 pages 40 00:02:24,390 --> 00:02:26,560 is too long for a book. 41 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,190 Sometimes I forget she's only 29. 42 00:02:30,730 --> 00:02:32,980 Well...enjoy. 43 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,520 Will do. 44 00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:36,900 Crap. 45 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,990 What do you mean you don't take chickens? 46 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,660 You're animal control. 47 00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:46,240 I betcha if I had a dog or a cat, 48 00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:48,200 you'd be rolling out the red carpet. 49 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:50,790 Hello? Hello? 50 00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:57,840 So, uh...should I drop you off here or...? 51 00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:05,560 "As Yergen applied an ointment to his withered leg, 52 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:09,430 "he thought back to his days as an apprentice baker. 53 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,730 The first bread Yergen made was a pumpernickel." 54 00:03:16,940 --> 00:03:19,360 How long is this recipe? 55 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:22,910 Hey. I'm home. 56 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:24,700 CARRIE: Hey. 57 00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:25,950 [SIGHS] 58 00:03:25,990 --> 00:03:27,990 Where you been? I had dinner ready for 2 hours. 59 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,500 You wouldn't believe my day. 60 00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:31,750 I had to drive all the way up to Plattsburg. 61 00:03:31,790 --> 00:03:33,080 What? 62 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,290 Crazy story. I'm delivering in Chinatown, right? 63 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,000 -And all of a sudden-- -Ah, good. 64 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,670 It's still nice and juicy. 65 00:03:39,710 --> 00:03:42,630 * I see the crystal raindrops fall* 66 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,890 * And the beauty of it all* 67 00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:49,600 * When the sun comes shining through* 68 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,480 * To make those rainbows in my mind* 69 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,810 * When I think of you sometime* 70 00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:58,940 * And I want to spend some time with you* 71 00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:01,440 * Just the two of us* 72 00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:03,990 * We can make it if we try* 73 00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:06,490 * Just the two of us* 74 00:04:06,530 --> 00:04:09,040 * Just the two of us* 75 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,290 * Just the two of us* 76 00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:13,580 * Building castles in the sky* 77 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:18,840 * Just the two of us, you and I* 78 00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:24,380 Stop it! 79 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,260 What's the matter with you? 80 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,600 I gotta get some air. 81 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,770 Oh, my God. 82 00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:37,310 Hey, Doug. 83 00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,150 Hey, Glenn. 84 00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:40,940 What's wrong? 85 00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:43,610 Nothing. It's stupid. 86 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,660 Problems aren't stupid. 87 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,660 People who ignore them are. 88 00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:52,660 It's just...today I helped this injured chicken, 89 00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:55,210 and I sort of got attached to him, 90 00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:57,250 and then when I came home, 91 00:04:57,290 --> 00:04:59,170 Carrie had dinner waiting for me. 92 00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:01,500 Let me guess. Chicken? 93 00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:04,420 Yeah. I told you it was stupid. 94 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,140 No, Doug, it isn't. 95 00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:08,300 Do you have any idea 96 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,470 what goes on at a poultry mill? 97 00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:12,560 It's barbaric. 98 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,310 I guess I'm pretty much done eating chicken. 99 00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:15,980 I'll tell you that much. 100 00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:17,350 Hey, thank God I didn't make friends with a cow. 101 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,900 You know what I'm saying? Heh. 102 00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:21,900 MALE NARRATOR: After they're stunned, 103 00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:24,280 the cattle enter the death chute, 104 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,450 where they are killed, dismembered, 105 00:05:26,490 --> 00:05:30,030 and prepared for processing. 106 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,330 Is it almost over? 107 00:05:31,370 --> 00:05:33,750 Not until you learn how hot dogs are made. 108 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:39,040 It's okay. It's okay, Doug. 109 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,380 [SIGHS] 110 00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:46,340 What's the matter? 111 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,680 Glenn just showed me some movie 112 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,090 about how meat is made, 113 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,050 and now I can't eat it. 114 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,560 Come on. 115 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,770 Carrie, I'm serious. 116 00:05:53,810 --> 00:05:55,140 I was just down in the refrigerator. 117 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,060 You know what I ate? An apple! 118 00:05:57,980 --> 00:05:59,560 Oh, my God. 119 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,610 And a Yodel, but still, I just... 120 00:06:03,650 --> 00:06:04,820 Doug, I don't understand. 121 00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:06,530 You eat fast food 2 or 3 times a week. 122 00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:09,820 It never occurred to you that animals were involved? 123 00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:11,700 Because they don't make it look like an animal. 124 00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:14,490 They're very clever that way. 125 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:17,580 What... what are you doing? 126 00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:19,000 Just talk about meat and do stuff to me, okay? 127 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,540 I got to link it to something good again. 128 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:24,590 No. Okay, as flattering as that is, 129 00:06:24,630 --> 00:06:26,260 I have another idea. 130 00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,380 Why don't you just stop eating meat? 131 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,880 I mean, you had an apple, right? 132 00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:30,800 Oh, Carrie, no. 133 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:33,890 My body tried to reject it. 134 00:06:33,930 --> 00:06:36,810 Thank God the Yodel kept it down. 135 00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:41,480 Doug, maybe this whole thing is fate, you know, 136 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,320 a chance for you to start eating better. 137 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,820 You know, stick around a little longer... 138 00:06:46,860 --> 00:06:48,610 and burp less. 139 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,910 I guess I could try. I mean, you know... 140 00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:53,620 I've eaten meat for over 40 years. 141 00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:56,450 It's not like they're coming out with anything new. 142 00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:02,500 Come on. We've been here all night. 143 00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:04,250 Any new burger ideas at all? 144 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,460 Okay. 145 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,260 How about we revisit the Miami Stacker? 146 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,420 We've been over that a dozen times. 147 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,510 No bun in the world could support 5 patties. 148 00:07:11,550 --> 00:07:13,510 -It's just physics. -Yeah. 149 00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,100 Yeah, you're right. Nobody wants a burger 150 00:07:15,140 --> 00:07:16,970 that keeps falling down. 151 00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:21,230 Pen. Pen. 152 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,820 "The Leaning Tower of Pizza Burger." 153 00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:35,740 The bottom bun is a mini pizza. 154 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,090 I guess the old dog still has one more trick in him. 155 00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:47,090 God, I love you. 156 00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:48,840 What? Nothing. 157 00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:56,430 Well, look at you, 158 00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:58,430 enjoying your tofu sausage 159 00:07:58,470 --> 00:08:00,230 and "I can't believe they're not eggs." 160 00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:01,640 Yep. 161 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,140 You know what makes them taste better? 162 00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:05,480 Knowing I'm doing the right thing... 163 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,190 and a buttload of hot sauce. 164 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,650 I am really proud of you, honey. 165 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,530 Ah, it's no big deal, really. 166 00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:22,540 When did you get glasses? 167 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:24,670 The doctor said I probably needed them for years, 168 00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:27,090 but I didn't know it until I started reading 169 00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:29,050 all the stuff that Glenn gave me. 170 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,880 Russian river, 5 letters. 171 00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,890 Volga. 172 00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:45,940 What? 173 00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:46,810 It's nothing. 174 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,900 No, come on. What? Tell me. 175 00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:50,190 It's just... 176 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:53,070 you probably shouldn't be drinking coffee. 177 00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:56,070 Why? Is there meat in it? Heh. 178 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,620 No, but the people who pick the beans 179 00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:02,830 work under very terrible conditions. 180 00:09:02,870 --> 00:09:06,620 Juan Valdez, that nice guy with the donkey... 181 00:09:06,670 --> 00:09:09,590 he's an actor, Carrie. I know that now. 182 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,190 Wow. Page 480. 183 00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:31,900 You're almost halfway through. 184 00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:35,490 Oh. I just can't seem to put it down. 185 00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:37,450 You know, they should make this into a movie. 186 00:09:37,490 --> 00:09:38,450 Have they? 187 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,120 Oh, no. It's considered unfilmable. 188 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,910 Listen, we're having a little shindig on Saturday 189 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,710 to celebrate the opening of Seven Water Plaza. 190 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:48,290 I'd love for you to come. 191 00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:51,210 Really? I thought that was just for the partners 192 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:54,010 and, you know, big shots. 193 00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,970 It is. Ha ha ha. 194 00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,510 Got to have my book buddy there. 195 00:09:58,550 --> 00:10:01,640 We're going to have a lot to talk about. 196 00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:05,980 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 197 00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:07,850 -Dugan Group. -DOUG: Hey, babe. 198 00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:09,480 Hey, honey. What's going on? 199 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,560 Uh, nothing. Just telling you not to fill up on anything 200 00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:16,030 because for dinner, I'm making bean steaks. 201 00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:21,530 Again? Ha ha ha. 202 00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:23,910 Yummy! 203 00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:26,120 Oh, actually, I just remembered. 204 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,080 I have to work late tonight. 205 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,920 -Really? -Yeah. 206 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,000 Oh, all right. Well, if you get hungry, 207 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,290 just look in your purse. 208 00:10:33,340 --> 00:10:35,010 I put in some snap peas. 209 00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:37,050 Yeah. 210 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:38,170 Yeah, I saw that. 211 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,300 But next time, you might want to 212 00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:42,140 put them in a little baggie. 213 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,350 DOUG: Not biodegradable. 214 00:10:44,390 --> 00:10:46,390 Okay. I got to go, babe. 215 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,110 DEACON: Hi, Carrie. 216 00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:57,240 What are you doing here? 217 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,610 Please don't tell Doug. 218 00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:02,030 I just needed to eat something with a face. 219 00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:04,450 What's going on with him, anyway? 220 00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:07,120 He just found something that he's passionate about. 221 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,330 It just so happens that it's a little annoying. 222 00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:11,290 A little annoying? Can you tell him 223 00:11:11,330 --> 00:11:12,960 to stop throwing paint on my pants? 224 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,630 He thinks corduroy is an animal. 225 00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:17,090 -Hey. -Hey. 226 00:11:17,130 --> 00:11:18,340 How's the new job? 227 00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:19,760 How do you think it's going, man? 228 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,680 I stand on the sidewalk all day holding this. 229 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,970 Yeah. Well, at least no one's peeing on you, 230 00:11:24,010 --> 00:11:26,560 like when you worked in the subway. 231 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,430 Ha. Guess again. 232 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,600 Uh... 233 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,690 Oh! "The Contortionist's Daughter." 234 00:11:32,730 --> 00:11:34,440 I heard a really good review of this 235 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,230 on NPR's "Book Nook" the other day. 236 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,530 -Really? -Yeah. 237 00:11:38,570 --> 00:11:41,530 Hey, um...any chance you want to read it 238 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:42,990 and write a little summary for me? 239 00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:44,410 Please. It would help me out so much. 240 00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:46,200 I'd love to, but I don't have the time. 241 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,620 I have to be out with my sign all week. 242 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:54,790 Free phone. Free phone. Free...phone. 243 00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:02,130 [CHUCKLING] 244 00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:05,600 Classic Yergen. 245 00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:10,390 -Oh, hey, babe. -Hey. 246 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,600 Oh, just so you know, for our anniversary, 247 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,850 I made reservations at the Sproutback. 248 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,320 Is that okay? 249 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,570 Spence finished the book already? 250 00:12:19,610 --> 00:12:23,150 No. He said he couldn't get past page 5. 251 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,990 Now I'm glad I got him fired. 252 00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:27,490 Yeah. 253 00:12:27,530 --> 00:12:29,120 I don't know what his problem is. 254 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,620 I got to tell you, it's pretty interesting. 255 00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:33,000 You're reading it? 256 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,290 Yeah. First hundred pages 257 00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:35,580 starts out a little rough, 258 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,460 but once you realize it's meant to be 259 00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:40,710 allegorical, it's a real page-turner. 260 00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:43,880 Hey, honey, any chance you can finish this book 261 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:47,350 by Kaufman's party on Saturday and fill me in? 262 00:12:48,050 --> 00:12:49,060 Yeah, I guess. 263 00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,180 Oh, speaking of the party, 264 00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:51,680 I got you something to wear. 265 00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,810 -Oh, really? -Yeah. 266 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,190 Check it out. 267 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,200 Read the label. 268 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,950 It's 100% pure unprocessed hemp. 269 00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:13,200 It's from the Woody Harrelson Collection. 270 00:13:14,370 --> 00:13:16,540 Honey, I appreciate all this. I really do. 271 00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:18,420 But I think you're throwing a lot at me at once. 272 00:13:18,460 --> 00:13:19,960 I mean, I'm just getting used 273 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,590 to the "one flush a day" rule, so... 274 00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:26,970 But you are...you're gonna wear it, right? 275 00:13:28,430 --> 00:13:30,640 Yes. You keep reading that book, baby, 276 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,100 and I'm going to try it on 277 00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:33,220 for you right now. 278 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,430 -All right. -Okay. 279 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,810 -That's my girl. -Yeah. 280 00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:40,570 "Size--human." 281 00:13:57,710 --> 00:14:01,250 You're always worried about someone wearing the same dress. 282 00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:03,130 Not tonight. 283 00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:04,710 All right. All right. Forget about the dress. 284 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,260 I want to go over the notes you gave me 285 00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:07,680 for Kaufman, okay? 286 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,430 Themes, symbolism, bread as a motif. 287 00:14:10,470 --> 00:14:13,260 Is that how you spell "motif"? 288 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,600 What do you think? 289 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,520 -Carrie. Doug. -CARRIE: Oh! 290 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:18,650 -Glad you could make it. -CARRIE: Hey! 291 00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,770 You remember my wife Amy. 292 00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:21,650 Hey. 293 00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:23,070 Yes. Of course. 294 00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:26,190 She was our intern last summer. Ha ha. 295 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,410 -Bacon-wrapped scallop? -Amy made them. 296 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:32,120 She's taking classes down at the culinary institute. 297 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,280 Have one. 298 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,370 No. That's okay. Thank you. 299 00:14:35,410 --> 00:14:36,870 You're not hungry, Doug? 300 00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,670 Actually, I'm very hungry. It's just, uh... 301 00:14:39,710 --> 00:14:42,710 mmm...I'm a vegetarian. 302 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,670 Honey, it's just a little itty-bitty thing. 303 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,720 Why don't you just have one? 304 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,180 I'm afraid I don't eat animals... 305 00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:54,390 especially when they're wrapped in other animals. 306 00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:55,890 Well, I think there's some melon. 307 00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:57,390 I'll pick off the prosciutto. 308 00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:00,230 -No, no. He's okay. -Yeah, that's not gonna work. 309 00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:03,440 You know what? I'll go empty out some mushroom caps. 310 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,690 Just make sure there's no remnants. 311 00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:06,320 Okay? No remnants. 312 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,070 So, Carrie, have you finished 313 00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:10,950 "The Contortionist's Daughter"yet? 314 00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:14,450 Finished it? Devoured it. Ha! 315 00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:16,160 And...? 316 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,700 Loved it! 317 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:18,960 I knew you would. 318 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:23,170 Yeah. You know what I realized? 319 00:15:23,210 --> 00:15:25,550 Yergen was never as free 320 00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:27,920 as when he was confined to that bed. 321 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,510 Yes! And what about his obsession 322 00:15:31,550 --> 00:15:34,100 with the umbrella? What was that all about? 323 00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:36,010 Oh. Oh, yeah. The umbrella... 324 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:39,640 Um...was his need for shelter... 325 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,440 in a... in an unfriendly world. 326 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,520 How astute. Well, I'm glad 327 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,480 you enjoyed it as much as I did. 328 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,610 Oh, yes, I did. 329 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,070 I'll tell you something. 330 00:15:50,110 --> 00:15:51,780 There's nothing I enjoy more 331 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,870 than curling up with a good book 332 00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:55,620 and a nice cup of coffee. 333 00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:57,370 Mm-hmm. 334 00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:03,290 Doug, I was really scoring some big points on that stupid book. 335 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,710 And then you had to go on ranting to Mr. Kaufman 336 00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:09,050 about Juan Valdez and his donkey. 337 00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:13,010 I wasn't ranting. I was educating. 338 00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:14,800 Sweet. My seeds are here. 339 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,640 Hello, fresh radishes. 340 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,470 Enough already. 341 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,560 What is your problem? 342 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,100 What's my problem? 343 00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:25,020 Okay. Well, ever since you stopped eating meat 344 00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:29,070 and started reading, you've been acting like an ass. 345 00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:30,820 Okay? How long are you going to keep this up? 346 00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:34,070 Okay. First of all, don't like the language. 347 00:16:35,450 --> 00:16:38,830 Second of all, this is forever. 348 00:16:38,870 --> 00:16:40,080 This is for life. 349 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,080 Oh my God, would you stop it already? 350 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,580 -Stop what? -That whole thing 351 00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:45,830 where you say something 352 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,880 and then pause for emphasis 353 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,500 and then say the same exact thing 354 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:53,430 only slightly differently. It's so sickening, man. 355 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,590 I get it. 356 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,220 You're...you're threatened by me. 357 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:00,020 What? 358 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,680 Yeah. That's right. 359 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,640 Because...[CLEARS THROAT] 360 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,190 I am evolving, 361 00:17:06,230 --> 00:17:07,690 and you-- 362 00:17:07,730 --> 00:17:09,270 [SNAP] 363 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,240 You... 364 00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:21,040 are remaining stagnant in your ignorant ways. 365 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,540 Okay. You know what? I really--I had enough. 366 00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:24,710 That's it. Okay? 367 00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:26,960 I had enough of the compost heaps 368 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,290 and the straw mattress, 369 00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:30,170 and let me tell you something else, buddy. 370 00:17:30,210 --> 00:17:33,340 Your reading days are over. Yeah. 371 00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:35,510 Hey. Hey! 372 00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:39,510 Throw it out! Throw out all the books you want! 373 00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:43,890 The new Doug Heffernan's here, and he ain't going anywhere! 374 00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:49,440 So the numbers are pretty clear, 375 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,860 if you just... if you just look 376 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:51,900 at the comparison between-- 377 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,610 -[AHEM] -Yes? What is it? 378 00:17:53,650 --> 00:17:55,280 This is from my mole at Ultra Burger. 379 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,860 They've got a whole new burger. 380 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,660 They're taking it national on May 1st. 381 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:03,500 The bottom bun is a pizza? 382 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,330 Oh, my God. 383 00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:07,790 Okay. Listen up. You all scrap 384 00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:09,500 whatever you're working on. 385 00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:11,750 We're going to launch our answer to this on the 1st. 386 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,250 [WORKERS RESPOND POSITIVELY] 387 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,670 If those bastards want a burger war, 388 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,930 we're going to give them one. 389 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,100 Ah... 390 00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:27,890 [CLEARS THROAT] 391 00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,690 MAN [OVER RADIO]: [ITALIAN ACCENT] 5 patties? 392 00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:33,940 Mamma mia! That's a-gonna fall! 393 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,690 MAN [OVER RADIO]: The Leaning Tower of Pizza Burger, 394 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,780 now at Ultra Burger. Prices may vary. 395 00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,700 [CHANGING RADIO STATIONS] 396 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,490 MAN [SOUTHERN ACCENT]: The Smokehouse-- 397 00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:44,490 it ain't about layers. 398 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,160 It's about flavor. 399 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,170 One burger smoked to perfection. 400 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:52,210 Get it now at D.C. Jr.'s. 401 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,380 [TURNS OFF RADIO] 402 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,420 [ENGINE STARTS] 403 00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:04,970 MAN [OVER RADIO]: [ITALIAN ACCENT] 5 patties? 404 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:07,270 Mamma mia! That's a-gonna fall! 405 00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:09,520 MAN [OVER RADIO]: The Leaning Tower of Pizza Burger, 406 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,520 now at Ultra Burger. 407 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,170 Aah! 408 00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:31,620 Hey. 409 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:32,880 What are you doing? 410 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,290 Carrie got me fired from the other job, 411 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,960 but this one's so much better. 412 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,460 Here. Have a coupon. 413 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,720 Get away from me. 414 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,180 Where are you going? 415 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,970 I'll give you all the coupons you want! 416 00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:15,670 Oh. 417 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,140 Oh, yeah. 418 00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:38,860 [CHICKENS CLUCKING] 419 00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:43,610 He's okay. 420 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:44,450 He's okay. 421 00:20:44,490 --> 00:20:46,990 * Just the two of us * 422 00:20:47,030 --> 00:20:49,330 * We can make it if we try* 423 00:20:49,370 --> 00:20:52,040 * Just the two of us* 424 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,460 * Just the two of us* 425 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,840 [**] 29809

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