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[**]
2
00:00:05,580 --> 00:00:07,750
[SPORTS PLAYING ON TV]
3
00:00:10,340 --> 00:00:11,760
Ahh, Sunday.
4
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,220
You know what I like
to call it?
5
00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:15,510
Fun day.
6
00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:16,800
That's a good one.
7
00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:31,740
Okay, I got a couple
problems here,
8
00:00:31,780 --> 00:00:33,240
but let's start
with this one--
9
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,360
why do your socks
have big 4s on the bottom?
10
00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:37,570
It's my new system.
11
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,120
I label them so I don't
mix them up
12
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,870
with my other
sets of socks.
13
00:00:41,910 --> 00:00:44,080
[POP] Bam!
14
00:00:45,580 --> 00:00:46,710
But Arthur, all your socks
are white.
15
00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:48,250
You just grab
any two of them.
16
00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:52,090
Obviously you've never
heard of "toe memory."
17
00:00:52,130 --> 00:00:55,630
As a sock evolves,
it either becomes a left sock
18
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,430
or a right sock.
19
00:00:57,470 --> 00:01:00,180
If you put one
on the wrong foot,
20
00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:03,480
you're asking for
a day of discomfort,
21
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,520
and shame.
22
00:01:08,150 --> 00:01:10,860
But how do the 4s
tell you which one's the right
and which one's the left?
23
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:13,400
Look, Douglas, my system
had its flaws,
24
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,450
but I've covered this
from every angle
25
00:01:15,490 --> 00:01:18,280
and believe me,
there is no better way!
26
00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:21,740
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
27
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,670
Unless you just
label every sock
28
00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:28,380
with either
an "L" or an "R."
29
00:01:30,210 --> 00:01:32,630
Well, there goes
my fun day!
30
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:37,180
By the way, it's Saturday.
31
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,840
* My eyes aregettin' weary*
32
00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:42,760
* My back is gettin' tight*
33
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:44,770
* I'm sittin' herein traffic*
34
00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:47,770
* On the Queensboro bridgetonight*
35
00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:53,360
* But I don't care,'cause all I want to do*
36
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,820
* Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
37
00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:00,620
* 'Cause, baby,all my life*
38
00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:04,490
* I will be drivin' hometo you*
39
00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:16,800
Today I was watching
the Discovery Channel,
40
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,760
and they said because
of that evolution crap,
41
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,010
that eventually people are gonna
stop having pinkie toes.
42
00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:24,180
-Oh, man. That blows.
-I know.
43
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:26,810
Yeah, but that won't happen
for like thousands of years.
44
00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:28,020
Still, that doesn't
worry you?
45
00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:31,100
No. I have
pinkie toes.
46
00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,270
Great, why don't you tell that
to your grandchildren
47
00:02:32,310 --> 00:02:35,190
when they're
tipping over?
48
00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:36,190
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
49
00:02:36,230 --> 00:02:37,690
DEACON: Hey.
50
00:02:40,030 --> 00:02:41,740
What?
51
00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:44,830
You, uh, you do realize you got
a baby strapped to your chest?
52
00:02:44,870 --> 00:02:45,870
Yeah.
53
00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:47,750
Um, ah, dip, good.
54
00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:51,290
Okay, Guy, what's
the deal here?
55
00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:53,290
It's Tanya's kid.
56
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,210
That waitress you
used to go out with?
57
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,300
You had a kid with her?
58
00:02:56,340 --> 00:02:58,260
No, remember,
she cheated on me?
59
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,130
Do you guys listen
to anything I say?
60
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,140
So--so what are you
doing with her baby?
61
00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:04,600
Ah, she's got
some training seminar
62
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:05,760
out of town for the weekend,
63
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,270
so she asked me
to watch the kid.
64
00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:08,980
So she's got you
babysitting the kid
65
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:11,980
she had with the guy
she cheated on you with?
66
00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:13,770
Yeah.
67
00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:15,360
Well, you know,
it's a ploy to get back with me.
68
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,190
I mean, that's why she borrowed
my car and all that money.
69
00:03:18,230 --> 00:03:20,900
Obviously got a bad case
of the Danny's.
70
00:03:22,110 --> 00:03:24,660
Well, I gotta say
that's a pretty cute kid,
71
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:27,120
you know, for a white one.
72
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,040
Thanks, man. And I don't
mean to brag,
73
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,290
but the guy that
she cheated on me with,
74
00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:33,960
he was an
underwear model.
75
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,420
Hey, let me
check it out.
76
00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:36,920
Oh, maybe later.
77
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,840
BOBBY: You know, my little guy
just said "Dada"
78
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,260
for the first time?
79
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,930
He said it to the cable guy,
but it was still a thrill.
80
00:03:42,970 --> 00:03:44,260
[BOTH LAUGH]
81
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,930
Ah, kids are great.
82
00:03:45,970 --> 00:03:48,180
Yeah, I'm so attached
and it's not even my own kid.
83
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:50,890
I can't even imagine what
that would feel like.
84
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,270
I gotta take a leak.
85
00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:53,400
Yeah, I'll
take her.
86
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:54,690
Ah, Deac's got her.
87
00:03:54,730 --> 00:03:56,820
Yeah.
88
00:03:56,860 --> 00:03:58,650
Guy, I can hold
the baby, okay?
89
00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:00,360
I held his kid
at his christening.
90
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,710
Excuse me, you're
the manager, right?
91
00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:17,840
Yes.
92
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,090
I'm Arthur Spooner.
93
00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:21,130
I'd like to officially
announce my candidacy
94
00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:23,430
for "Customer
of the Month."
95
00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:26,850
Oh, well, we'll certainly
keep you in mind.
96
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,220
Just to remind you,
97
00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:31,060
I have been here
every day this month.
98
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,770
My attendance is perfect.
99
00:04:32,810 --> 00:04:35,150
Yes, I know you
come in here a lot.
100
00:04:35,190 --> 00:04:36,810
Not a lot. Every day.
101
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,980
It's just that I've
never actually seen you
102
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,320
buy anything.
103
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,900
What?
104
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,990
Yeah, you bring a thermos
of your own coffee
105
00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:47,910
and use our
cream and sugar.
106
00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:49,240
I buy things
all the time.
107
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,830
I purchased a Rice Krispie treat
not 2 weeks ago.
108
00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:54,330
Yes, but you ate
most of it
109
00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:56,170
and returned the rest
for a refund.
110
00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:58,210
You said you found
a fish hook in it.
111
00:04:58,250 --> 00:04:59,710
I did.
112
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,260
Um, it's not just about
how much money people spend.
113
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,010
Look at Helen.
She's 80 years old
114
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:10,810
and just walked 12 miles
for muscular dystrophy.
115
00:05:10,850 --> 00:05:13,180
Oh, I see. So I can't be
Customer of the Month
116
00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:15,390
because I had a falling
out with Jerry Lewis?
117
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,900
Sir, you're missing--
118
00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:18,980
For your information,
I put a call into him,
119
00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:20,900
the ball is
in his court.
120
00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,900
Look, I gotta
get back to work.
121
00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:25,200
Oh, by the way,
122
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,410
I think your razor's
finished charging.
123
00:05:54,430 --> 00:05:55,390
Honey, what are you doing?
124
00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:58,140
Shh! Don't be afraid.
125
00:05:58,190 --> 00:06:00,900
Just relax.
126
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:03,070
Come on. I gotta get up early
for work tomorrow.
127
00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:04,570
Shh, come on.
128
00:06:04,610 --> 00:06:07,450
Let's make a baby.
129
00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:08,860
What?
130
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:12,120
Yeah. I want
to make a baby. Tonight.
131
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,160
Were you at a strip club?
132
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,830
No, I just...
133
00:06:16,870 --> 00:06:18,830
I've been thinking
about, you know,
134
00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:21,420
how much I love you
and...
135
00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:24,210
how much a baby would
make our lives complete.
136
00:06:26,130 --> 00:06:27,420
-Really?
-Yeah.
137
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,430
So scooch your bloomers down
and count to 50.
138
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:30,930
Come on.
139
00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:33,390
Are you serious?
I've never seen you like this.
140
00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:36,270
Yeah. Oh, and by the way,
when we have our baby,
141
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:37,930
Danny's not allowed
to hold it.
142
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,060
Ha ha, what are you
talking about?
143
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,310
It's just that,
you know,
144
00:06:40,350 --> 00:06:41,600
he was babysitting
his girlfriend's kid,
145
00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:43,400
and he wouldn't
let me hold it,
146
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,940
but the joke's on him because
we're gonna make our own baby
147
00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,990
and it's gonna blow
his away, so come on.
148
00:06:47,030 --> 00:06:48,070
All right, get off me.
149
00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:49,950
What? What's the matter?
150
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:51,240
I can't believe you!
151
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:52,320
The reason why
you want to have a baby
152
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,160
is so you can get even
with Danny?
153
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,040
And make our lives
complete.
154
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,000
You are unbelievable, man!
155
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,370
This is why I don't
want to have a baby,
156
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,130
because you are
so irresponsible!
157
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:05,050
All right, I'm sorry, let's
forget the whole Danny thing.
158
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:07,050
Seriously, the point is,
I want to start a family.
159
00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:08,210
Well, good luck
with that,
160
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,970
because this
kitchen's closed.
161
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:11,380
Wait a second now.
Come on, there's two of us here.
162
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:13,140
Okay? You can just make
all of the decisions.
163
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:17,180
Uh, think I can,
think I did.
164
00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:18,560
Okay, you know what? I'm getting
a little tired of you
165
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,230
acting like you're
the boss around here.
166
00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:21,850
"No, Doug,
you can't get that car.
167
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,860
No, Doug,
you can't do steroids."
168
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,150
Okay, you know what?
169
00:07:26,190 --> 00:07:28,230
This conversation's over.
I'm going to sleep.
170
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,110
Okay, just so
I'm clear on this,
171
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,410
you're deciding
no baby, so, no baby?
172
00:07:32,450 --> 00:07:34,160
Yep.
173
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,870
Oh, we'll see
about that.
174
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,290
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
175
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:49,880
-Hey.
-Hey. I need to borrow
176
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,470
your baby.
177
00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:53,090
What? No.
178
00:07:53,130 --> 00:07:54,590
Just for a couple hours.
179
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,180
Guy, it's a baby.
Not a weed-whacker.
180
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:59,560
Look, I got into this whole
thing with Carrie and...
181
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,520
Look, I gotta show her
who's boss of the house.
182
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,270
I--I can't. I--I
promised Tonya
183
00:08:03,310 --> 00:08:05,020
that I wouldn't
take my eye off the baby.
184
00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:06,310
And when someone puts
their faith in you like that,
185
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,650
you know,
it means something.
186
00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:11,280
Although, I would love
to see Transporter Two.
187
00:08:19,370 --> 00:08:21,080
All right, there
she is. You ready?
188
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:22,580
I was born ready.
189
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,040
Oh, my God!
He's choking!
190
00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:32,090
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
191
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,010
There was a fishhook
in my scone.
192
00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:38,050
[COUGHS]
193
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,390
[WHISPERING]
That man saved my life.
194
00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:42,430
Oh, yeah.
That man saved my life.
195
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:44,730
Settle down, everyone.
196
00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:47,560
Just doing what
any customer would do.
197
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,020
Any customer?
198
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,360
He should be
Customer of the Month!
199
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:53,610
[WHISPERING]
We done?
200
00:08:56,110 --> 00:08:57,570
Shall we take
my picture now?
201
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,990
I'm packed in a girdle
so let's get this done.
202
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,080
Do you really think
I'm gonna make you
203
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,460
Customer
of the Month
204
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:08,000
because of that ridiculous stunt
you just pulled?
205
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,130
Unless you want a riot
on your hands?
206
00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:17,140
Listen, old man,
and listen good.
207
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,760
As long as
I'm manager,
208
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,060
you will never, ever be
Customer of the Month.
209
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,640
Have a nice day.
210
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,020
Hmm...
211
00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:32,610
I'm home!
212
00:09:32,650 --> 00:09:34,650
-Hey.
-Oh.
213
00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:37,070
Listen, honey, I'm sorry
I came down on you last night.
214
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,490
It's just
that sometimes
215
00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:40,280
I gotta do what's best
for us, you know?
216
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,370
I know. I know
and thanks.
217
00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:45,620
All right, then.
218
00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,220
Excuse me.
219
00:09:57,470 --> 00:09:59,760
What the hell
is going on here?
220
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,430
Did you really think you could
stop me from having a baby?
221
00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:05,140
[BABY TALK] You're my baby.
Yes, you are.
222
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:07,060
All right,
if I turn the TV on right now,
223
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,310
will your picture
be on the news?
224
00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:10,560
No.
225
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,360
[BABY TALK]
No, it won't. No, it will not.
226
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,530
-Come here.
-All right, would you stop
227
00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:16,150
-doing that?
-Stop what?
228
00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:17,530
All right, Doug,
I get it.
229
00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:19,280
You're very clever.
You borrowed somebody's baby.
230
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,490
Did you actually think
231
00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:22,490
this was gonna make me
want to have a baby?
232
00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:23,620
I don't care.
You do what you want.
233
00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:25,200
Okay, I've moved on.
234
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,580
All right, you know what?
When you do stupid things
235
00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:28,460
like this, it pushes
me further away
236
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,040
from ever wanting
to have a baby...
237
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,330
with you, that is.
238
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:32,630
Okay, in case
you haven't noticed,
239
00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:34,460
don't need you
to have a baby.
240
00:10:39,590 --> 00:10:41,180
-[SPORTS PLAYING ON TV]
-Hey, uh, Danny, it's, uh, me.
241
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,850
Could you come get the baby?
242
00:10:42,890 --> 00:10:45,100
Uh, yeah,
it didn't really land, okay?
243
00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:47,100
And, uh, I don't know
what the hell to do with it.
244
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:49,230
Okay. Call me.
245
00:10:49,270 --> 00:10:51,600
Ahem. Ahh.
246
00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:58,650
'Sup?
247
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,780
[RATTLING]
248
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,540
I'll just, uh--if you want
to do that, that's right there.
249
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:14,540
Ugh, are you still
doing the baby thing?
250
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,710
Uh, parenthood
isn't a thing.
251
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:17,960
It's a way of life.
252
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,760
Okay, you know what, Doug,
253
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,590
it started out stupid but now
you're just being irresponsible.
254
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,100
Irresponsible--what?
255
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:25,850
Yeah, that's right.
You don't even know
256
00:11:25,890 --> 00:11:28,140
what you're doing with this
baby, so just give it back.
257
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:34,150
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
258
00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:36,820
Hey. Oh, man,
259
00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:38,280
you gotta see
Transporter two.
260
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:39,780
Just when you think
they've run out of ways
261
00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:41,110
of transporting things...
262
00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:42,700
Heh! Well,
I won't ruin it for you
263
00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:44,780
but he gets there.
264
00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:45,950
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
265
00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:46,990
Look, I need
more time here.
266
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:47,950
What?
267
00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:49,040
You gotta help me
out here.
268
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,290
Carrie's copping
a real attitude
269
00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:51,500
and if I let her win
on this baby thing--
270
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:53,120
How 'bout I go
to a casino?
271
00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:56,090
That was easy.
272
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,090
It's coming.
It's coming.
273
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:06,760
Ugh.
274
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,140
That's right,
it's still here.
275
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:10,980
"It's." You don't know
if it's a boy or a girl.
276
00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:12,560
Yeah, okay, I've been
taking care of the baby all day
277
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,100
and I don't know
if it's a boy or a girl.
278
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,240
[BELL RINGS]
279
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:26,990
Whoa.
280
00:12:27,030 --> 00:12:30,700
Is my little girl
ready for her bottle?
281
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,080
First, I test it
on the wrist
282
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,620
to make sure it's
the right temperature.
283
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,130
Sh--ugh!
284
00:12:37,630 --> 00:12:38,840
I'm guessing it's not?
285
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,840
A little heads up,
286
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,220
8 minutes in the micro,
too long.
287
00:12:43,260 --> 00:12:45,680
-[BABY CRYING]
-Uh, your baby's crying.
288
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,050
You might want to whip up
some flaming applesauce.
289
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,930
Her papa will decide
what she wants to eat.
290
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,020
[CRYING]
291
00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:56,230
[**]
292
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:23,920
[BABY CRYING]
293
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,690
Okay, she won't stop crying.
I can't put her to sleep.
294
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:37,310
You gotta come
pick her up now!
295
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,770
You gotta comeget her now!
296
00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:40,070
I--I'm on a roll here,
all right?
297
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,650
Just give me
another hour.
298
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,070
2, tops.
299
00:13:43,110 --> 00:13:44,900
I'll tell you what.
I'll--I'll bring her to you!
300
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:46,070
I'll--I'll
bring her to you.
301
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,360
I--I--just tell me
where you're at.
302
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,780
Hey, keep 'em coming,
kitten, all right?
303
00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:51,740
And I don't want
to see any ice.
304
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:52,990
[CRYING]
305
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:01,880
Hi, can I help you?
306
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,300
Yeah, what do you got
to make a baby sleep?
307
00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:07,130
Pills, drops--
legal, illegal.
308
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,260
I got cash.
309
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:09,890
If it makes you feel
any better,
310
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:11,890
you're not the first one
to go through this.
311
00:14:11,930 --> 00:14:13,220
Yeah, it doesn't.
312
00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:14,350
How about pills for me?
313
00:14:14,390 --> 00:14:15,770
'cause I'm at the end
of my rope.
314
00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:17,640
Single parent, huh?
315
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,100
Pretty much, yeah.
316
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:21,650
Well, our new moms group
is starting soon.
317
00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:22,820
Maybe they can help.
318
00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:26,780
Uh, and by "help"
do you mean
319
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:28,150
they have pills?
320
00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:36,290
Hi, welcome. Come sit.
321
00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:37,830
The floor's open.
So, if you have
322
00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:39,290
any questions or problems,
we're here for you.
323
00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:41,290
Well, my baby hasn't
been sleeping,
324
00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:44,130
and I've been
crying a lot.
325
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,090
Did you try
the dryer thing?
326
00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:48,300
You put 'em
in the dryer?
327
00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:49,970
No, no. You put the baby
in a car seat
328
00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,050
on top of the dryer.
329
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,430
Puts them right out.
330
00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:54,310
And let me ask you.
What about food?
331
00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:57,730
'Cause my baby hasn't been
eating her vegetables.
332
00:14:57,770 --> 00:14:59,980
Oh, well, you got to keep
them away from fruit.
333
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:01,310
Because once they taste
the sweet stuff,
334
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:02,810
they are not going back.
335
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,190
Ahh. There's just so much
I don't know.
336
00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:07,990
Relax. Everything
you need to know
337
00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:11,240
about taking care of that baby
is right in here.
338
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:15,830
[**]
339
00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:19,080
[BABY CRYING]
340
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:30,970
[BABY STOPS CRYING]
341
00:16:08,170 --> 00:16:09,760
Ladies, you don't want
to put your babies to bed
342
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,510
on the same side
every night.
343
00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:14,510
That's how you get flathead
McGee, you know what I'm sayin'?
344
00:16:15,510 --> 00:16:17,180
Sarah and Dylan do.
345
00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:18,850
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
346
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:22,770
I'll tell you
my biggest complaint.
347
00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:24,230
Since I had the baby,
I can't remember
348
00:16:24,270 --> 00:16:26,310
the last time my husband
and I had sex.
349
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,980
Sex? That's what got us into
this whole mess. Am I right?
350
00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:32,280
You know, I don't know
what to do here.
351
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,530
Jerry just won't latch on.
352
00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:35,910
Have you tried
the football hold?
353
00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:37,370
No, what's
the football hold?
354
00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:39,490
-You know--hand him over to me.
-Okay.
355
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,790
You got to hold him
like a football.
356
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:43,420
That's basically
what you do.
357
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:44,830
You just hold him there,
358
00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:47,090
and you let him land
in Boobyville.
359
00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:48,460
Let him find it.
360
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:51,800
There he goes. Whoa. His
bottom teeth are coming in.
361
00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:56,180
[**]
362
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,390
-Wonderful, this Internet.
-Yes.
363
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:04,480
Otherwise I would
never have
364
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,400
stumbled across
your rap sheet.
365
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,820
What?!
366
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,940
I'm right. You are
the Gloria Creswell
367
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,110
who was arrested
in October '82
368
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:19,030
for petty theft
in Tonawanda, New York.
369
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,910
I was 19.
I was alone and hungry.
370
00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:26,960
Save your sob story
for the boys in corporate.
371
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,630
Oh. You wouldn't do that.
372
00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:30,960
You wouldn't get me fired
373
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,300
all just to be
Customer of the Month.
374
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,900
[DOORBELL RINGING]
375
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,230
Uh, yeah, it works.
376
00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:57,910
Ah, hey.
377
00:17:57,950 --> 00:17:58,990
Hey, Danny.
378
00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:01,280
Tanya, what's up?
379
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,450
Wh--where's the baby?
380
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,660
Huh?
381
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:07,040
Oh, actually,
she's not here.
382
00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:10,880
But it's cool,
you know, it's cool.
383
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,340
TANYA: Aaahhh!
384
00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:19,180
[THREE STOOGES PLAYING ON TV]
385
00:18:19,220 --> 00:18:22,100
Okay, see now that--
that's Larry right there.
386
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:23,390
And that's Curly.
387
00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:25,310
And the one with
the ice tongs, that's Moe.
388
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:27,350
Want to steer
clear of him. Okay?
389
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,440
Hey.
390
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,650
Hey.
391
00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:34,530
Whoa. Here you go.
Get ya.
392
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:38,200
You know, uh, you're
pretty good with that baby.
393
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,410
Thanks.
394
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,700
She's kinda cute.
395
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:44,370
What's her name?
396
00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:45,500
I have no idea.
397
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:46,910
I'm calling her Mookie.
398
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,000
Ah.
399
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,210
Mookie sounds good.
400
00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:51,210
She looks like Mookie.
401
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:52,540
Yeah.
402
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,550
So, you, uh...
403
00:18:55,590 --> 00:18:57,420
think you'd like to have
one of these one day?
404
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,090
I don't know. Maybe.
405
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,050
You want to hold her?
406
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,020
Um...
407
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:06,600
Yeah. I'd like that.
408
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:10,060
Come here, sweetheart.
409
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,690
Hi.
410
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:14,190
Hi, baby.
411
00:19:14,230 --> 00:19:17,740
Oh, yes. I know.
412
00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:19,530
-[BABY STARTS CRYING]
-Okay, I'm out.
413
00:19:19,570 --> 00:19:22,200
I'm out. Take her.
Please take her.
414
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,080
Okay.
Okay.
415
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,160
All right.
416
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,330
[DOORBELL RINGS]
417
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,000
Give me the baby.
418
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,340
What? Right now?
419
00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:36,630
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
420
00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:38,340
Tanya's outside in the car
with Detective Romero,
421
00:19:38,380 --> 00:19:40,590
and I kinda need
the baby right now.
422
00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:45,140
All right, can you--
can you give me a second?
423
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,560
Hey.
424
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,020
It's been nice having
you around, you know.
425
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:58,110
Just want you to know
that if you're, uh...
426
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,320
you're ever back
in the area,
427
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:04,320
just look me up,
all right?
428
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,330
I'll see ya.
429
00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:15,210
You okay, honey?
430
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:17,090
[EMOTIONAL]
Just getting a beer.
431
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,800
Welcome to Java House,
432
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,550
I'm Arthur Spooner
Customer of the Month.
433
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,520
Welcome to Java House.
434
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,560
I'm Arthur Spooner,
Customer of the Month.
435
00:20:44,570 --> 00:20:47,120
Gloria, I'm going to need
an application.
436
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:53,420
[**]
30548
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