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1
00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:05,080
* My eyesare gettin' weary*
2
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:07,290
* My back is gettin' tight*
3
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,250
* I'm sittin' herein traffic*
4
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:12,220
* On the Queensboro Bridgetonight*
5
00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:17,640
* But I don't care,'cause all I want to do*
6
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,350
* Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
7
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,150
* 'Cause, baby,all my life*
8
00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:28,690
* I will be drivin' hometo you*
9
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,530
I know your place is
a Bed and Breakfast,
10
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:41,580
but where are we at
with the other meals?
11
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,540
Included? Not included?
12
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,250
Awesome.
13
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,710
Oh, I gotta go.
My wife's coming down,
14
00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:49,840
and this trip is
a surprise for her.
15
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:51,380
Okay. Bye.
16
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,350
Hey! There she is.
17
00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:02,560
Hey.
18
00:01:03,850 --> 00:01:05,350
Oh, no need.
19
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:07,270
I already poured you a cup
of coffee right here.
20
00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:09,520
And got your cereal out
ready to go.
21
00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:21,240
Gonna have a little
cereal there?
22
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,540
Mmm, nah.
23
00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:26,120
Really? It's specially
formulated for women.
24
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,580
I've had two bowls,
25
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,540
and already I'm feeling bloated
and a little moody. Heh.
26
00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:31,590
Come on, sweetie.
27
00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:32,750
Fine, I'll have
some cereal.
28
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,420
All right.
29
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,720
That's all your having?
Let me top you off here.
30
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,270
That's all right.
31
00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:47,640
-That's okay, it's good cereal.
-Hey, really, stop.
32
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,770
Whoa!
33
00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:52,900
What is that?
34
00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:54,940
The Sugar Creek
Bed and Breakfast?
35
00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:56,320
What the hell
is this?
36
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:57,700
Yep. Pack
your bags, baby,
37
00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:59,570
'cause this weekend,
I am taking you
38
00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:01,700
to a little,
quaint, rustic inn
39
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:02,910
boasting mountain views
40
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:06,580
and scenic walks along
a romantic stream.
41
00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:08,830
You planned a surprise
trip for us?
42
00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:10,210
Yep.
43
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:11,750
And it's not
to Cooperstown?
44
00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:12,790
Nope.
45
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,170
Actually,
it's near Cooperstown.
46
00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:15,670
But we're blowing
right past that.
47
00:02:15,710 --> 00:02:17,840
Okay, no--this weekend's
all about Doug, Carrie,
48
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,430
and a little thing
I like to call love.
49
00:02:20,470 --> 00:02:22,390
Honey, that
is so sweet.
50
00:02:22,430 --> 00:02:23,470
Mmm!
51
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:24,470
Thank you!
52
00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:26,270
This place
looks great!
53
00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:28,310
Yeah--there is a little
bit of bad news.
54
00:02:28,350 --> 00:02:29,690
Sugar Creek doesn't
actually have
55
00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:31,860
any sugar in it.
I checked.
56
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,440
Well.
57
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,650
Douglas. Darling.
58
00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:37,280
Hey, Dad, Doug is
taking me upstate
59
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,320
for the weekend.
60
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,360
Oh, wonderful.
61
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,490
I'll do my best
not to die
62
00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:41,660
while you sip
pina coladas
63
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:43,990
'neath the swaying
palm trees.
64
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,410
Either way, don't call.
65
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:48,460
Dad, come on, you'll have
the house to yourself.
66
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,580
Plus, a perfect chance
to do tai-chi
67
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:52,500
in your shorty kimono.
68
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:53,790
Actually...
69
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,340
there's a rather
fetching widow I met
70
00:02:55,380 --> 00:02:56,460
at the senior center.
71
00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:57,550
She winked at me
72
00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:58,760
during the Pledge
of Allegiance.
73
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,300
Oh.
74
00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,380
You want to
invite her over?
75
00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:02,470
For God's sake,
76
00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:04,350
your mother died
20 years ago!
77
00:03:04,390 --> 00:03:06,430
When will you
let me move on?!
78
00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:11,270
[**]
79
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,820
Huh?! Huh?!
80
00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:25,490
-Look at this!
-Oh, this is great.
81
00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:26,870
Wow.
82
00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,330
A lot of kitty cats.
83
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:31,710
Hey, check this out.
84
00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:32,920
Myrtle--
85
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,720
[DINGS]
86
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:46,430
Welcome, welcome.
87
00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:47,890
I'm Betty Chapin,
innkeeper.
88
00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:50,850
Hi. Carrie and Doug
Heffernan.
89
00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:51,980
Beautiful place
you have.
90
00:03:52,020 --> 00:03:54,020
Yeah, everything's
so dainty.
91
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:56,020
Well, people were
a lot smaller
92
00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:57,900
100 years ago.
93
00:03:57,940 --> 00:03:59,480
You know why?
No Arby's.
94
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:00,860
[LAUGHS]
95
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:02,320
Arby's! Ha ha ha!
96
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,860
You gotta tell that one
to my husband Ed.
97
00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:07,370
Okay, so let's get
you two signed in.
98
00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:09,790
Oh, okay.
I'll sign in.
99
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:10,750
Uh...
100
00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:12,040
how do I
do this here?
101
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,290
I'm guessing it's--
102
00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:15,460
Oh. Uh...
103
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,590
it's over right in here.
104
00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:19,590
Excuse me--excuse--
105
00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:22,090
I just need you--
I just need you--
106
00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,680
Now, just...
107
00:04:25,510 --> 00:04:26,590
Can you--
108
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,890
Doug Heffer is fine.
109
00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:29,930
That's fine. That's good.
110
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,890
Well, you must be tired
from your long drive,
111
00:04:31,930 --> 00:04:33,020
so let's get you
up to your room.
112
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:34,440
Okay.
113
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:35,940
I put you in number 7.
114
00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:38,520
I hope you like
antique dolls.
115
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,980
I do, just as long
as their eyes close.
116
00:04:47,030 --> 00:04:51,410
[STAIRS CREAK]
117
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:54,000
People were a lot
smaller a long time ago.
118
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,540
[CHUCKLES]
119
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:57,040
[**]
120
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,540
[CREAKING]
121
00:05:00,670 --> 00:05:02,010
Here we are.
122
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:04,800
Huh? Huh?!
123
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,430
Oh, it's adorable.
124
00:05:06,470 --> 00:05:07,970
Oh, look! A fireplace!
125
00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:09,890
Actually, we had
to seal that up.
126
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,470
The squirrels would
crawl in there
127
00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:13,140
and get trapped
in the flue
128
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,810
and then, well...
129
00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:16,850
basically liquefy.
130
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,560
Here's your bathroom.
131
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,480
Now, I made sure you
had plenty of towels.
132
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:22,980
And if you
need anything,
133
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:24,070
I would--
134
00:05:24,110 --> 00:05:25,530
Oh!
135
00:05:29,570 --> 00:05:30,660
Ed, what are you doing?
136
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,950
I told you
we had guests coming.
137
00:05:32,990 --> 00:05:35,160
Well, they're early.
138
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:38,460
Why didn't you just use
the shower downstairs?
139
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:40,090
You know that
doctor told me
140
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:42,130
I'm supposed
to soak it.
141
00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:45,840
Well, just get out.
142
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,630
ED: All right.
143
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,840
Mmm.
144
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,010
Ed seemed nice.
145
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,680
Mm-hmm. And clean.
146
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,060
-Yes.
-Yeah.
147
00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:56,060
Ahem. Sorry
about that.
148
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:57,100
Needless to say,
149
00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:59,190
-that's my husband Ed.
-Ah!
150
00:05:59,230 --> 00:06:01,520
Well, anyhoo,
dinner's at 5:00,
151
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,020
and then out come
the board games.
152
00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:04,440
I hope you two
aren't shy,
153
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,530
because Ed and me
154
00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:08,070
Play a mean game
of Balderdash.
155
00:06:09,910 --> 00:06:11,570
Balderdash.
156
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:12,870
That wasn't even
in the brochure.
157
00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:14,410
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
158
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:17,710
You do like it here,
right?
159
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:18,790
Yeah.
160
00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:19,870
It's fine.
161
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:20,880
And you know what?
162
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,090
I love you for
thinking of it.
163
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,090
[DOOR OPENS]
164
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,760
Nothing I haven't
seen before.
165
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,520
[**]
166
00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:40,060
Then General Patton
turned to me and said,
167
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,060
"That's the best damn
cup of coffee I ever had.
168
00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:44,610
Now, let's win this war."
169
00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:46,230
Oh, Arthur.
170
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,820
I mean, what an--
what an amazing life you've led.
171
00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:51,780
I go where
the stars need me.
172
00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:53,780
Now, let me freshen
your grasshopper.
173
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:54,870
Oh.
174
00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:56,490
[DOORBELL RINGS]
175
00:06:58,120 --> 00:06:59,830
Would you excuse me
for a moment?
176
00:07:04,630 --> 00:07:06,130
Hey, Arthur...
177
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,590
Hey!
178
00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,550
What you got going on
in there, my man?
179
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,600
I bought her dinner.
180
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:15,720
I'm getting her
liquored up.
181
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:16,720
What do you think
is going on?
182
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:17,720
All right.
All right.
183
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:18,930
I'll get out
of your hair.
184
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:19,850
Look, Carrie said
you needed some milk,
185
00:07:19,890 --> 00:07:21,100
-so...
-Fine.
186
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,100
All right.
187
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,190
Hey...
play on, player.
188
00:07:27,570 --> 00:07:28,940
Who was that?
189
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:30,070
A Jehovah's Witness.
190
00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:31,240
Now they give you milk.
191
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:32,990
Like that's gonna
turn me around.
192
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,620
Arthur, it's--
it's getting late.
193
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:37,910
I think I should be going.
194
00:07:37,950 --> 00:07:39,040
No, no.
195
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,540
I want you to hear
Robert Mitchum
196
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:42,960
"Sings Calypso."
197
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,960
It's positively savage.
198
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,170
Oh.
199
00:07:46,210 --> 00:07:49,090
But won't your children
be home soon?
200
00:07:49,130 --> 00:07:50,130
What?
201
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,130
Children?
202
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:53,050
[SCOFFS]
I live alone.
203
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,300
Oh, well, J--
204
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,760
Josephine told me
that um...
205
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,810
that this house
belongs to
206
00:07:58,850 --> 00:08:00,640
your daughter
and son-in-law.
207
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,140
Josephine
also thinks
208
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,600
her fish sticks
talk to her.
209
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,190
Heh.
210
00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:09,610
No, no. I--
I live alone.
211
00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:11,150
Oh, well, I think
I should be going.
212
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:13,150
Uh, uh--
213
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,660
Please, Annette,
214
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:15,820
it gets so lonely
215
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,830
in this big,
completely-paid-off house.
216
00:08:18,870 --> 00:08:20,830
And...
217
00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:23,790
your laughter has
made it come alive.
218
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,000
I don't want
that to end.
219
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,880
Oh, well...
220
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,050
there is a...
221
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:34,760
midnight bus.
222
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,800
* Take me, take me*
223
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,930
* I am feeling lonely*
224
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,230
[**]
225
00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:00,580
So, when are the rest of
the guests coming down?
226
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,620
Oh, you two
are it.
227
00:09:06,370 --> 00:09:07,420
For the whole
weekend?
228
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:08,460
Mm-hmm.
229
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,750
Yeah, it's been
like this
230
00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,630
ever since they opened
that damn Hyatt.
231
00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:14,300
There's a Hyatt?
232
00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:17,430
Yeah, right over there
233
00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:19,300
on the other side
of the woods.
234
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,260
It's a disgrace.
235
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,600
They even tore down
the smelting plant
236
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,270
just to add a luxury spa.
237
00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:29,270
A spa?
238
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,980
What's up?
239
00:09:34,070 --> 00:09:36,280
Marmalade really
likes you, Doug.
240
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,280
He does?
241
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,660
Is there an area
where he eats?
242
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:41,080
Or, you know...
243
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,040
You know why Marmalade
likes him so much, don't you?
244
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,250
-Who does Doug look just like?
-I don't know.
245
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:47,620
Yes, you do.
246
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,630
Doug is
the spitting image
247
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:50,790
of Ed Junior.
248
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,380
Well, that's
our son.
249
00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:53,630
Does Ed Junior have
the same appetite
250
00:09:53,670 --> 00:09:55,090
this one's got?
251
00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:57,130
We don't talk about
Ed Junior.
252
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,300
Okay.
253
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,470
When he walked out
of here 12 years ago,
254
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,140
we stopped having a son.
255
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:06,640
Ed!
256
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,140
-Betty.
-Ed!
257
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,440
Betty!
258
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,320
What's up with
that last drumstick?
259
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,280
Oh. Coming right up.
260
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,280
It's not too dry then?
261
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,410
Oh, it's delicious.
262
00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:21,200
Oh. I'm so relieved.
263
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,160
You know, this turkey was
still frozen this morning.
264
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,250
So, I had to put it
in the tub upstairs
265
00:10:27,290 --> 00:10:28,670
to defrost.
266
00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:38,550
[HUMMING]
267
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:44,100
[SPITS]
268
00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:45,220
Ugh!
269
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,230
I am still tasting
that turkey.
270
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,060
I'm still tasting Ed.
271
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:57,110
Well, we...
272
00:10:57,150 --> 00:10:58,280
We should probably
head downstairs.
273
00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,530
What?
274
00:10:59,570 --> 00:11:01,410
We got Chutes and Ladders
in 5 minutes.
275
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,540
Chutes and Ladders?
276
00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:07,370
Doug, the only ladder
I want to see
277
00:11:07,410 --> 00:11:08,790
is the one that's
getting me out that window.
278
00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,370
Oh, come--
279
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,620
Come on, so we had
a little tub turkey.
280
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,540
All right, let's try
and move past it.
281
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,710
What are you--
what are you saying?
282
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:16,670
You actually want
to stay here?
283
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,340
I wanted this whole weekend
to be great for you.
284
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:21,220
And it can be great,
honey...
285
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:22,720
at the Hyatt.
286
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:28,430
[CREAKING]
287
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,230
Doug, is that you?
288
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:38,230
Yeah. Uh, first off,
289
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,780
just, I want--
love the place.
290
00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:41,740
And we love having you.
291
00:11:41,780 --> 00:11:43,660
Yeah, about that...
292
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:46,330
You know,
I gotta tell you,
293
00:11:46,370 --> 00:11:47,740
the way business
has been,
294
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,120
Ed and me thought
295
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,250
we were gonna have
to shut down for sure.
296
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:55,210
And then God has sent us
you and Carrie--
297
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:56,800
our two angels...
298
00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,630
giving us hope.
299
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:16,820
[WHISPERING] Okay, come on.
She's sleeping.
300
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:20,490
[CREAKING]
301
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:22,280
Shh!
302
00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:31,410
[SQUEAKING AND CLATTERING]
303
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:32,790
Ooh!
304
00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:37,670
Ooh!
305
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,210
Shh!
306
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:42,300
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
307
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:51,980
All right. Okay.
308
00:12:52,020 --> 00:12:53,850
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on!
309
00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:56,560
I have a splinter
in a bad place.
310
00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,480
Crap!
311
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,280
Their stupid truck
is blocking us.
312
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:03,570
ED: Huh?!
313
00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:05,530
Somebody out there?!
314
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:06,990
Let's go.
Let's just go.
315
00:13:07,030 --> 00:13:08,370
What about the car?
316
00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:09,580
We'll get a new one.
317
00:13:12,540 --> 00:13:13,580
DOUG: How far
is this place?
318
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:14,710
I don't know.
319
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,290
Just a little
further this way.
320
00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:18,340
-How much farther?
-I don't know.
321
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,460
Would you just
stop talking?
322
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,590
[GROANS]
323
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:22,800
What is wrong with you?
324
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:23,920
[GRUNTS]
325
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,590
Seriously,
I need tweezers
326
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,390
and a small mirror.
327
00:13:27,430 --> 00:13:28,430
Doug, come on.
328
00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:30,220
-[GASPS]
-Oh, wait a minute.
329
00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:31,390
I see lights
from the hotel.
330
00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:32,520
Come on.
331
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:33,560
[JINGLING]
332
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:34,640
What the hell was that?
333
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,690
[JINGLING]
334
00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:39,690
Marmalade!
335
00:13:39,730 --> 00:13:41,780
That freaking cat
followed you!
336
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,690
He thinks I'm Ed Junior.
337
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,400
BETTY:
Marmalade!
338
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,860
ED: Marmalade!
339
00:13:48,570 --> 00:13:49,910
[WHISPERING]
Oh, crap!
340
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:02,340
[SLOSHING]
341
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:03,670
Oof.
342
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,550
I'm okay.
343
00:14:05,590 --> 00:14:07,930
[LOUD SPLASH]
344
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:11,390
[COUGHING]
345
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:12,560
Carrie!
346
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:13,520
Carrie!
347
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,680
BETTY:
Marmalade!
348
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,980
ED: Marmalade!
349
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:19,350
[JINGLES]
350
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,440
Doug?
351
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:24,530
Found her.
352
00:14:24,570 --> 00:14:25,990
Nice going!
353
00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:28,860
You just earned yourself
a turkey sandwich.
354
00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:34,290
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
355
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:54,760
[**]
356
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,680
[SIZZLING]
357
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,350
Oh, good morning,
Arthur.
358
00:14:58,390 --> 00:15:00,310
Oh, you're still here?
359
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,730
I'm making you
some egg beaters.
360
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:06,900
How thoughtful.
361
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,070
Now, let me
return the favor
362
00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:09,240
by escorting you
to the bus.
363
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,700
Oh, I'm...
364
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:12,120
I'm in no rush.
365
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,080
Annette, no one
looks forward to
366
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,080
the walk of shame,
367
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,790
but the sooner,
the better.
368
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:18,040
Oh.
369
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,080
Arthur, I was
thinking about
370
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,250
what you asked me
to do last night.
371
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,710
Again...
372
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,130
it was merely
a suggestion.
373
00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:27,880
We did fine without it.
374
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,170
Oh, no, no, no.
375
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,970
When you--when you said
how lonely you are
376
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:33,180
in this big house,
377
00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:35,930
and you never wanted me
to leave.
378
00:15:35,970 --> 00:15:37,930
Oh, that must have been
the Creme de Menthe talking.
379
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:39,850
[CHUCKLES]
380
00:15:39,890 --> 00:15:42,400
What I'm trying
to say is...
381
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,150
yes.
382
00:15:44,190 --> 00:15:46,070
I'll move in
with you.
383
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,030
I...
384
00:15:49,070 --> 00:15:50,400
I--I...
385
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,410
I'm overwhelmed.
386
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,740
Looking for
something, Doug?
387
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:58,830
Oh.
388
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,330
Uh, no, just...
389
00:16:00,370 --> 00:16:02,040
checking out
your lawn dwarves.
390
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,250
Uh...
391
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,840
We were thinking
of getting some.
392
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,130
You happy with 'em?
393
00:16:08,170 --> 00:16:09,420
I guess.
394
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,380
Here's your toast,
Doug.
395
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,510
Oh, great.
396
00:16:13,550 --> 00:16:15,470
Now, are you sure
I can't interest you
397
00:16:15,510 --> 00:16:17,140
in a nice turkey omelet?
398
00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:19,220
No, I'm sticking
with the toast.
399
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,430
Thanks.
400
00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:24,060
Mr. Boots,
for the last time,
401
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,940
stay out of the butter!
402
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,110
BETTY: Oh.
403
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,070
So...
404
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,080
Carrie still hasn't
come down yet?
405
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,040
Um, yeah, she's
uh, you know,
406
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,080
putting on her face.
407
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,080
You know how long
that takes.
408
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,790
Wish this one would take
a little more time.
409
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:47,420
She just rolls on down
looking like hell.
410
00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:52,510
Good morning!
411
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,100
ED: Hi.
412
00:16:58,140 --> 00:17:00,890
I thought you
were upstairs, dear.
413
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:03,560
Oh, um...
414
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,100
Yeah, I just--
I got up early,
415
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,860
and I just went
for a walk.
416
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:09,860
Well, you're just
in time for breakfast.
417
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:12,150
Oh, I just--
I already had breakfast.
418
00:17:13,610 --> 00:17:14,860
I, uh,
I picked some...
419
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,530
some berries.
420
00:17:21,370 --> 00:17:22,950
Would you guys
excuse me...
421
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,160
please?
422
00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:27,130
Why can't you
dress like that
423
00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:28,380
to pick berries?
424
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,840
[**]
425
00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:35,380
Okay.
426
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,890
We can tear
the wall out,
427
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,140
give you granite
countertops,
428
00:17:38,180 --> 00:17:39,180
a tile backsplash,
429
00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:40,560
and the island you wanted.
430
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,140
And I think we can do it
for under 30,000.
431
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:44,350
What do you think,
Arthur?
432
00:17:44,390 --> 00:17:45,980
Sounds reasonable.
433
00:17:47,350 --> 00:17:48,860
Uh, Pete,
434
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:50,980
I want you to come look
at the living room.
435
00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:54,320
I'm thinking we should
gut the whole thing...
436
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,160
What's that big tarp
doing in the back yard?
437
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,490
Apparently we're
putting in a gazebo.
438
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,500
What?!
439
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:04,870
Oh, hello again!
440
00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:05,960
Yeah, hi.
441
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,170
Look--
442
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:11,420
What's going
on here?
443
00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:14,590
Arthur, why does this man
keep coming over?
444
00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:19,390
Truth is, he's
my parole officer.
445
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,260
What?
446
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:25,520
I wouldn't blame you
for walking away right now.
447
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:26,980
Oh, no, Arthur.
448
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:28,980
Everyone makes mistakes.
449
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:32,480
I can tell you're
a good man at heart.
450
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,070
He's also...
451
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:36,240
my lover.
452
00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:42,030
Is this true?
453
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,240
Yeah, I couldn't
help myself.
454
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,960
Well, it's not ideal.
455
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,290
Just try and make sure
456
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:54,170
he leaves the house
before I get home.
457
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,220
[SIGHS]
458
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:01,390
[**]
459
00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:02,720
Hey, babe, where's
the big suitcase?
460
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,100
It's in the woods.
461
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:05,390
Why'd you leave it
in the woods?!
462
00:19:05,430 --> 00:19:08,140
Why'd you leave me
in the woods?!
463
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,150
I thought you were
gonna catch up.
464
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:12,020
I waited and waited
for you at the hotel.
465
00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:14,150
I was worried sick.
466
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,070
Wait, what's that ink
on your hand?
467
00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:20,320
Oh, um...
468
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,320
a pen exploded
in my purse.
469
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,120
It's a stamp.
It says "Club Neon."
470
00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:28,710
Oh, right, right.
471
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,000
Oh, oh!
472
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,080
It was a disco...
473
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,170
heh, in the hotel.
474
00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:33,500
You went dancing?!
475
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,300
Well, Doug, once I knew
you weren't coming,
476
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,420
what did you
want me to do,
477
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:37,590
stay in that big suite
all by myself?
478
00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:40,430
You--
you got a suite?!
479
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,090
Fine, you know, yeah.
You deserve a suite.
480
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:43,510
After a tough night
of dancing,
481
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:44,510
you don't want to go
back to a regular room.
482
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:46,470
Oh! Honey,
come on.
483
00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:49,140
We can still have
a great weekend.
484
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:50,230
Okay, look.
485
00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:51,230
I'll go downstairs
486
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:53,100
and make up some
excuse to...
487
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,610
to cat lady
and tub boy,
488
00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:56,070
and we are out
of this dump
489
00:19:56,110 --> 00:19:57,280
and into the Hyatt!
490
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,610
All right?
491
00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:00,110
No. No.
You know what?
492
00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:01,740
You go
to your fancy hotel.
493
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:03,410
I'm staying right here
with Ed, Betty,
494
00:20:03,450 --> 00:20:05,370
and Marmalade.
495
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,750
Yeah, 'cause they like me
for who I am,
496
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,620
not where I can take them.
497
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:12,120
They think...
498
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:13,580
I'm an angel.
499
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:21,510
Okay, there's a ham floating
in the bathtub.
500
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,550
[CRUNCH]
501
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:27,560
[ENGINE REVS]
502
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,690
[MEOWS]
503
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:47,370
[**]
504
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:52,910
[DOORBELL RINGS]
505
00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:59,840
Oh, my God. Ed?
506
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,430
I'm home, Pop.
507
00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:14,940
[**]
31934
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