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1
00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:04,170
DOUG:Previously, on
The King of Queens...
2
00:00:04,210 --> 00:00:05,250
Honey, I am
so proud of you
3
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:07,130
for sticking to
this diet.
4
00:00:07,170 --> 00:00:08,670
No carbs, no sugar,
5
00:00:08,710 --> 00:00:11,170
no boobies.
6
00:00:11,210 --> 00:00:12,840
I rented this awesome lodge
up in the mountains.
7
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,260
I took her there 10 years ago.
We had a great time.
8
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:18,390
That's strange. I can't seem
to find my car keys.
9
00:00:18,430 --> 00:00:21,220
Arthur, Doug and Carrie said
you couldn't drive.
10
00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:23,180
-What if it's an emergency?
-No!
11
00:00:23,230 --> 00:00:24,890
I don't know.
He could probably drive
12
00:00:24,940 --> 00:00:26,270
if it's an emergency.
13
00:00:26,310 --> 00:00:28,570
DOUG: Can you believe
I got us the same room?
14
00:00:28,610 --> 00:00:29,650
Hmm?
15
00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:31,740
I got us the same room
as last time.
16
00:00:31,780 --> 00:00:33,240
What last time?
17
00:00:35,780 --> 00:00:37,030
Last time we were here.
18
00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:38,280
We were never here.
19
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,240
Come on. Stop it.
[CHUCKLES]
20
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:45,420
-Is Beth here with you?
-CARRIE: Oh, my God.
21
00:00:45,460 --> 00:00:48,960
SINGER: *My eyesare gettin' weary*
22
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,210
*My back is gettin' tight*
23
00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:53,380
*I'm sittin' herein traffic*
24
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,010
*On the Queensboro Bridgetonight*
25
00:00:56,050 --> 00:01:01,770
*But I don't care,'cause all I want to do*
26
00:01:01,810 --> 00:01:07,600
*Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
27
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,400
*'Cause, baby,all my life*
28
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:14,240
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
29
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,700
DOUG: Land ho!
30
00:01:20,740 --> 00:01:23,500
Now, when we get out
of the boat here, step lively.
31
00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:26,370
Remember, this is
turtle country.
32
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,330
Doug--
33
00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:31,090
It's all good.
It's all good.
34
00:01:31,130 --> 00:01:34,090
Here we go. Okay.
35
00:01:34,130 --> 00:01:35,550
Milady.
36
00:01:38,090 --> 00:01:39,890
There we go.
37
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:41,050
You got--you got--
38
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,640
I got it. I got it.
Doug's got it.
39
00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:48,980
Whoo! You know what
I like about this place?
40
00:01:49,020 --> 00:01:50,270
It's totally new.
41
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:52,770
Never seen it before.
Never been here before.
42
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:55,190
Is fresh.
43
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,990
So what do
you wanna do?
44
00:01:57,030 --> 00:01:58,320
I don't know.
45
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,820
Well, what do people
usually do here?
46
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,490
Uh...
47
00:02:02,530 --> 00:02:04,660
take in the scenery,
I guess.
48
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:05,660
Uh-huh.
49
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:07,460
Come on. What do you say?
Shall we?
50
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:12,790
All right.
Now, you see that?
51
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,000
That's Poison Ivy.
52
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:16,300
Leaves of 3,
let it be.
53
00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:18,800
Learned that
in boy scouts.
54
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,260
Huh.
55
00:02:22,010 --> 00:02:23,720
What else you got?
56
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:28,310
I read in the brochure that this
area has 22 indigenous ferns.
57
00:02:28,350 --> 00:02:31,150
Wanna discover a new one
and name it Carrie?
58
00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:32,730
[DISGUSTED SIGH]
59
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,530
The canoe!
60
00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:37,990
-Oh, crap!
-Watch out!
61
00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:39,570
Leaves of 3!
Leaves of 3!
62
00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:41,410
Crap! Crap!
63
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,660
Cold! Cold!
64
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,540
So cold.
65
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:51,790
Cold! Cold.
66
00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,430
All right, boys,
we're goin' in.
67
00:03:00,470 --> 00:03:02,720
[IMITATING HOWARD COSELL]
Down goes Frazier.
68
00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:10,480
It's too far!
I can't get it!
69
00:03:12,770 --> 00:03:13,900
Just swim!
70
00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:15,360
I just
swallowed a fish!
71
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,110
CARRIE: I don't think
you did.
72
00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:18,650
I did. I think
it was a sardine.
73
00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:21,280
-You love sardines.
-With mayo!
74
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,740
All right. You know what?
Bring it in. Bring it in.
75
00:03:27,950 --> 00:03:29,450
Come on!
76
00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:38,380
Well, that was
pretty pathetic.
77
00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:40,220
Well, on behalf
of myself
78
00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:42,340
and the baby sardines
growing in my stomach,
79
00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,050
thanks for the love.
80
00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,890
So, what do
we do now?
81
00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:49,220
You thinking we can
get back on foot?
82
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,560
I'm sure we could
if we knew where we were,
83
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,020
but I've never
been here before, remember?
84
00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:55,400
-Is fresh!
-Oy.
85
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,480
All right. You know what?
We have the cell phone.
86
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,440
We'll call information
for the hotel,
87
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,530
and they will give us
directions back.
88
00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:04,070
It's, uh,
Mountain View Lodge, right?
89
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,530
I thought it was
Mountain Ridge.
90
00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:06,740
What?
No, you're wrong.
91
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,740
-No, you're wrong.
-Uh, excuse me.
92
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,250
I'm the one who made
the reservation.
93
00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:11,750
I think I know
the name of the hotel.
94
00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:14,040
Uh, excuse me.
You don't even remember
95
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,670
which girl you brought here.
96
00:04:16,710 --> 00:04:19,050
Fine. You know what?
Just call your dad.
97
00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:20,670
I left the number with him.
98
00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:26,090
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
99
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,510
-Hello?
-Hey, Dad.
100
00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:29,810
ARTHUR [OVER PHONE]:
Who is this?
101
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:31,140
Carrie.
102
00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:33,270
Uh, listen, it's not
a big deal.
103
00:04:33,310 --> 00:04:34,440
Doug and I are
a little lost.
104
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,940
ARTHUR: Is this
an emergency?
105
00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:38,230
Well, yeah. Kinda.
106
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:41,070
ARTHUR: Hold on, baby!
Daddy's coming!
107
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,660
Okay, that's
not gonna work.
108
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:49,280
You know what?
Let me just call information.
109
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,330
Let them
figure it out.
110
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:57,960
Yeah, hey. I need the number
to Mountain Lake Lodge
111
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,090
near lake Chapawawa.
112
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:02,840
Nothing?
113
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,680
How about
Mountain Ridge Lodge?
114
00:05:06,470 --> 00:05:08,760
Lakeview? Lake ridge?
115
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:12,100
Land O' lakes.
Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.
116
00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:13,890
Help me out here, okay?
117
00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:19,360
[SIGHS]
118
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,690
Do you happen
to have a listing
119
00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:25,360
for an Elizabeth McGurtrie
in Staten Island?
120
00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:30,700
It might be Beth McGurtrie.
Check that.
121
00:05:30,740 --> 00:05:32,990
Oh, my God.
122
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,950
What are
you doing?
123
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,160
No, it's a different Beth.
124
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,170
-This one's a park ranger.
-I can't believe
125
00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:39,500
you're calling her!
126
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,500
Maybe she can remember
the name of the place.
127
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:44,300
This is--it's unbeli--I mean,
first you bring me here
128
00:05:44,340 --> 00:05:45,840
-thinking that I'm her--
-Oh, my God!
129
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,390
How many times do I gotta
apologize for this?!
130
00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:50,510
I made a mistake, okay?!
Can we move on?!
131
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:51,850
No, we can't move on,
Doug. You know,
132
00:05:51,890 --> 00:05:53,350
I don't think
this is a mistake. I mean,
133
00:05:53,390 --> 00:05:54,560
ever since you've lost
all that weight,
134
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,430
you've become
an insensitive jerk.
135
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:57,690
-What?!
-That's right!
136
00:05:57,730 --> 00:06:00,190
Fat Doug would
never do this to me.
137
00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:01,690
What are you
talking about?
138
00:06:01,730 --> 00:06:05,690
Fat Doug was sensitive,
loving, caring, and kind.
139
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,990
-You never told him that.
-I didn't need to.
140
00:06:08,030 --> 00:06:09,660
Fat Doug didn't need
his ego boosted
141
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:11,450
-all the time.
-You know what?
142
00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:12,870
"Fat Doug" is
a little harsh.
143
00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:14,740
-Let's go with F.D.
-You know why you can't tell
144
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:17,000
the difference between me
and Beth McGurtrie?
145
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,580
Because your brain has
been turned upside down
146
00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:22,040
from all these people
drooling all over you.
147
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,630
Sickening.
148
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:29,050
Oh, my God!
You're jealous!
149
00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:30,550
Jealous?!
150
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,390
That's right. I think
you liked it better
151
00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:33,810
when it was
hottie and fatty.
152
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,310
Now it's hottie
and hottie,
153
00:06:35,350 --> 00:06:36,560
you gotta share
the spotlight,
154
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,390
and you don't like it.
155
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:43,690
Are you actually accusing me
of being that small and petty?
156
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:45,860
Uh-huh!
157
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:47,570
For years, you're nagging me
to lose weight.
158
00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:49,110
"Oh, you look terrible.
You're gonna die."
159
00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:50,450
Blah blah blah!
160
00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:52,660
Turns out, you can't
handle the competition!
161
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,580
-Oh!
-What are you doing?
162
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:56,750
What am I doing?
I'm stealing your thunder.
163
00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:59,080
Yeah!
That's thunder!
164
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,420
Oh, get away from me!
165
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:02,250
Where you going?
You looking for your thunder?
166
00:07:02,290 --> 00:07:03,420
'Cause you ain't
gonna find it.
167
00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:05,380
You know why?
I got it all.
168
00:07:05,420 --> 00:07:07,800
No, I'm looking
for the hotel, brain.
169
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,510
Well, you know what? If
you would have let me call Beth,
170
00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:10,930
maybe we'd
find our way back.
171
00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:13,260
Oh, you know what?
Maybe you should call Beth
172
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,930
and see if she's
still available.
173
00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:16,930
Oh, yeah? You'd love it
if I got back together
174
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,730
with Beth. Then you'd be free
to go after another big boy.
175
00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:22,100
How's this sound?
Mrs. Dom DeLuise.
176
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,900
Or better yet, hook up
with the Kool-Aid Man.
177
00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:26,650
Oh, yeah!
178
00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:29,900
You know, do me a favor
and don't talk to me.
179
00:07:29,940 --> 00:07:32,910
-I'm sick of you.
-Right back at you.
180
00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:36,490
Is it raining?
181
00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:39,120
A little.
182
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,920
We are so screwed.
183
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:56,100
DOUG: All right,
now we're making some progress.
184
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:58,260
There's the sun. The sun
always sets in the west, right?
185
00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,180
So we must be
heading west.
186
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:05,230
And do you have any idea
if the hoteliswest?
187
00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:06,310
Boy, you really
hate the fact
188
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,730
that I'm hot now,
don't you?
189
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,860
Okay, you know what?
We went too far.
190
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,200
We should go back
the other way.
191
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,910
No, no. You're totally wrong.
You don't know
192
00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:15,950
-what you're talking about.
-Oh, I don't?!
193
00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:17,030
You have us heading west,
194
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,200
and you have no idea why.
195
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,080
Uh, the pioneers
didn't know why,
196
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,410
and that's how we got Texas.
But I guess you'd be fine
197
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,420
without Texas.
198
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,040
I just wish I knew
where we were.
199
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,500
I mean, are we
getting closer?
200
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,210
Are we getting
farther?
201
00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:30,420
What?
202
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,050
What are you doing?
203
00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:35,640
I'm gonna see if I can
find the hotel from here.
204
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:36,850
You're not gonna
see anything.
205
00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:38,050
DOUG: I might see
something!
206
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,390
CARRIE: I don't think
you will.
207
00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:42,230
I can't talk and climb
at the same time.
208
00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:51,940
[SCOFFS]
209
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,190
Oh, God!
210
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,570
-What's wrong?
-It's an owl.
211
00:08:56,610 --> 00:08:58,120
I think I'm
gonna throw up.
212
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,200
Who throws up
from an owl?
213
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,700
Look, I was expecting
pine cones,
214
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,580
and I got
a square-shaped bird.
215
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:04,910
It's very disturbing.
216
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,580
All right, you know what?
Just nudge it,
217
00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:07,920
and it'll
fly away.
218
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,090
No, 'm not gonna touch it.
What if it bites me?
219
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:11,550
Owls don't bite.
220
00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:15,630
They wear glasses.
They're the nerds of the forest.
221
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:16,800
All right.
222
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,390
No, owls can't fly.
223
00:09:18,430 --> 00:09:20,180
If it doesn't fly, how'd it get
in the tree?
224
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:22,560
Uh... I'm in the tree,
can I fly?
225
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,100
CARRIE: Could you just
push it away, please?
226
00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:27,850
Oh. Hope it lands
right on you.
227
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,650
I would love that.
228
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:34,320
-[SQUAWKS]
-Whoa!
229
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,700
-Ooh...
-Oh, my God! Are you okay?
230
00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:37,740
I think so.
I scratched
231
00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:39,490
-my face, though.
-Oh...
232
00:09:39,530 --> 00:09:42,410
all right, a little Bactine,
and you will be good as new.
233
00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:45,460
Oh, suddenly I'm deformed,
and you're nice to me.
234
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,670
You got a realBeautyAnd The Beastthing going,
235
00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:49,500
-don't you?
-Are you crazy?!
236
00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:52,130
DOUG: Crazy ugly,
just the way you like 'em!
237
00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:53,920
Well, now I'm taking you
down with me.
238
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,800
Oh, where are you going?
What are you doing?
239
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,050
I'm finding
some leaves of 3,
240
00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:00,640
and then I'm gonna
mess you up.
241
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,100
What?
242
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,680
Yeah. Kiss that sweet,
243
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,310
unblemished skin
good-bye.
244
00:10:05,350 --> 00:10:08,480
Doug, are you seriously
gonna attack me
245
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,980
with Poison Ivy?
246
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:12,570
I mean, is that the way
it's gonna end for us?
247
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:15,940
No.
248
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,360
[SIGHS]
249
00:10:18,070 --> 00:10:20,240
My hand itches now.
250
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,420
[EXASPERATED SIGH]
251
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:31,460
I don't believe anyone
ever made fire this way.
252
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:32,500
I just don't.
253
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,380
And I don't believe
the only thing
254
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:35,880
you ever learned
from the boy scouts
255
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,300
was how many leaves
Poison Ivy has.
256
00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:41,260
And now youhave
Poison Ivy!
257
00:10:41,970 --> 00:10:43,680
I'm going to sleep.
258
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:00,610
[HEAVY SIGH]
259
00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:03,700
Oh, wow.
260
00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:05,740
That's the North Star.
261
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,080
That way must be north.
262
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:12,420
And do you know
if the hotel is north?
263
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,170
I hate the sky.
264
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,550
Actually, it's kind
of beautiful tonight.
265
00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:36,270
That better be a rat.
266
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,450
Just thinkin', you know it's...
267
00:11:43,490 --> 00:11:46,740
you and I alone in the woods...
268
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,200
about to die.
269
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,620
It's kind of romantic.
You wanna...
270
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:54,580
What planet are you on?
271
00:11:56,130 --> 00:11:57,920
I just don't think
we should go to bed angry.
272
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,670
Well, we're not going to bed.
273
00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:01,590
We're going to twigs.
274
00:12:01,630 --> 00:12:04,720
Well then, I don't think we
should go to twigs angry either.
275
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,810
All right, last chance, 'cause
276
00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:14,690
I'm shuttin' her down.
277
00:12:24,070 --> 00:12:26,490
-Hey.
-[COLDLY] Hello.
278
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:30,250
-What's wrong with you?
-Nothing.
279
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,120
You always
say nothing
280
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,870
when it's
something.
281
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,380
What is it?
282
00:12:37,420 --> 00:12:40,300
You know very well
what it is.
283
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,590
No, I don't.
284
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,800
You totally made me the bad cop
today with Arthur.
285
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,720
You had no right
to do that.
286
00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:50,810
Oh, excuse me.
287
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:54,730
Uh... sorry.
288
00:12:54,770 --> 00:12:58,150
Um, Danny said
I can borrow the PlayStation,
289
00:12:58,190 --> 00:13:00,940
and Doug keeps it
up here, so...
290
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,360
Fine. I just...
291
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:04,700
wasn't expecting you.
292
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,160
Sure.
293
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,490
We were kind of, uh...
294
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,790
in the middle
of something here, Deac.
295
00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:17,330
Are you guys both
sleeping in here?
296
00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:19,540
-Yeah.
-Well, you know
297
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,170
there's a futon
in the other room,
298
00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:22,710
and there's a cou--
299
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:25,340
never mind.
300
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:26,680
Would you just leave,
please?!
301
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,350
Believe me, I'm not looking
for any reason
302
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,970
to hang around.
303
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:32,970
[SIGHS] Look...
304
00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:36,310
[SIGHS]
305
00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:39,690
I'm sorry about
what happened today.
306
00:13:39,730 --> 00:13:41,270
All right, I just thought
that the easiest way
307
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,190
to deal with Arthur
was to give in to him.
308
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,200
Of course that's
the easiest way.
309
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,910
But if we always take
the easy way out,
310
00:13:47,950 --> 00:13:50,240
how's he ever
gonna learn?
311
00:13:51,950 --> 00:13:54,450
Well, he is
almost 80.
312
00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:57,620
Look, why don't we get
a good night's sleep, all right?
313
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,500
And in the morning,
we'll sit down with Arthur,
314
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:02,170
and we'll tell him
there are certain rules
315
00:14:02,210 --> 00:14:05,470
in this house
and he has to live by them.
316
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,830
Okay, still in the woods.
317
00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:40,790
Ow. Ow. Ow.
Ow. Ow!
318
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:42,000
I can't believe
there are people
319
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,260
who actually
go camping by choice.
320
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,220
Oh, my God, what if we never
find our way out of here?
321
00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:50,970
That would be bad, Doug.
322
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:55,140
You know what? Maybe we should
just live here,
323
00:14:55,180 --> 00:14:56,810
start a new society,
324
00:14:56,850 --> 00:14:59,270
learn to talk
with the chipmunks.
325
00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:01,860
You can't even touch an owl
without gagging.
326
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,150
Now you're talking
to chipmunks?
327
00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:06,030
Okay, you know what?
I won't start my own society.
328
00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:08,490
-Okay, you happy now?
-Yes. I'm thrilled.
329
00:15:08,530 --> 00:15:10,490
All right,
let's get moving.
330
00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:11,990
All right.
331
00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:15,120
I think we should go,
uh...this way.
332
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,830
No, that's the way
we came from.
333
00:15:16,870 --> 00:15:18,660
No, that's the way
we came from.
334
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:23,790
No, that... is... the way...
we came... from!
335
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:28,760
Talking... like... this...
doesn't... scare... me!
336
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,050
You know what?
I have an idea.
337
00:15:30,090 --> 00:15:32,640
How 'bout you go your way,
I'll go mine?
338
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,720
Smartest idea
you've hadever.
339
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,680
Terrific!
340
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,680
Oh, and don't go startin'
your own society.
341
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,270
That's my thing!
342
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:03,080
Doug?
343
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:05,750
Doug!
344
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,770
God bless her,
she got away!
345
00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:22,440
Attagirl!
346
00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:50,670
I'll have the
egg-white omelet...
347
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,970
and...
348
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,980
DOUG: I will survive!
349
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,440
I choose life!
350
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:06,960
[SOBBING]
351
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,050
Could I get the check?
352
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:15,720
Oh, and a map to rescue my
husband. Thanks.
353
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,180
[WAILING]
354
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,940
[DOUG WAILS]
355
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,440
CARRIE: Doug?
356
00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:30,690
DOUG: Carrie?
357
00:18:30,730 --> 00:18:32,610
CARRIE: Is that you crying?
358
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:34,860
DOUG: No.
359
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,570
CARRIE: Follow my voice.
I found a way out.
360
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,530
DOUG: Oof!
361
00:18:44,370 --> 00:18:45,580
CARRIE: Hey!
362
00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,930
[SCOFFS]
What do I do?
363
00:18:59,970 --> 00:19:02,050
CARRIE: Just cross over
the bridge.
364
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,220
Are you crazy?!
365
00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:05,100
Come on.
You can do it.
366
00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:18,070
Cross over
the bridge.
367
00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:19,110
That's easy
for you.
368
00:19:19,150 --> 00:19:20,950
You're on
the right side.
369
00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:27,290
Shaba-lama...
370
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,670
You're doing great.
371
00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:41,130
Gaa-vuch!
372
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:46,430
Oh, God!
[PANTING]
373
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,930
You're fine!
You're fine!
374
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,730
I'm not fine!
375
00:19:52,810 --> 00:19:54,940
Get me
a helicopter now!
376
00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:56,440
Doug, you don't need
a helicopter.
377
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,070
DOUG: I really think
a helicopter's the way to go.
378
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:02,530
Doug, listen to me.
You can do this.
379
00:20:02,570 --> 00:20:04,620
I can't.
This bridge'll never hold.
380
00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:06,120
CARRIE: Yes, it will.
381
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,790
Look, you're not fat
anymore.
382
00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:08,950
You're light as air.
383
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,160
I know you're lying now.
384
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,290
I'm going back.
I'll live here.
385
00:20:13,330 --> 00:20:16,040
You start a new life
with Dom DeLuise.
386
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,420
CARRIE: No, Doug, stop.
387
00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:20,670
I don't want Dom DeLuise.
I want you, okay?
388
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:24,970
-Really?
-Yes.
389
00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:26,470
Look, I know
I went a little crazy
390
00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:28,390
with this Beth thing
and you losing all the weight
391
00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:30,060
and getting
all that attention...
392
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:32,690
'cause you--
you stole my thunder.
393
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:34,770
You know? And, uh...
394
00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:36,230
didn't love it.
395
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:38,530
Can't blame a girl
for wanting her thunder.
396
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,150
But the thing is, Doug,
397
00:20:40,190 --> 00:20:42,150
you deserve
the attention, okay?
398
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,410
And--and I love you,
and I'm so sorry,
399
00:20:45,450 --> 00:20:47,740
and I know that you are
skinny enough
400
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,080
to make it
across this bridge.
401
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:52,330
Then why did that
little thingie break?
402
00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:53,790
'Cause you're
still kinda big.
403
00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:55,460
Now run.
Come on, honey.
404
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,040
Come on, baby!
405
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:04,680
Oh, I love you
so much.
406
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:08,350
I love you, too.
407
00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:11,930
What happened to you?
It's only been 45 minutes.
408
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,060
I went
a little overboard.
409
00:21:17,270 --> 00:21:18,770
You know, let's go
to Hershey Park.
410
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,230
Yeah.
411
00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:34,750
-Hey.
-Hi.
412
00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:38,420
Where's my dad?
413
00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:40,300
[SHOUTING]
I will survive!
414
00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:42,800
-[RUSTLE, SOFT MEOW]
-Oh, God!
415
00:21:44,090 --> 00:21:46,470
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
28875
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