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1
00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:07,130
*My back is gettin' tight*
2
00:00:07,170 --> 00:00:09,090
*I'm sitting herein traffic*
3
00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:12,340
*On the QueensboroBridge tonight*
4
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:13,840
*But I don't care*
5
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,510
*'Cause all I want to do*
6
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:21,390
*Is cash my check anddrive right home to you*
7
00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:24,640
*'Cause baby,all my life*
8
00:00:24,690 --> 00:00:28,400
*I will be drivinghome to you*
9
00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:36,820
...but I think
my favorite mayor of all
10
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,870
was Mr. John D. Lindsay.
11
00:00:38,910 --> 00:00:41,830
Marvelous politician
and if I may say,
12
00:00:41,870 --> 00:00:42,910
easy on the eyes.
13
00:00:42,950 --> 00:00:44,750
-[LAUGHS]
-Hey, guys, good walk?
14
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,790
Oh, it was great.
Arthur's been telling me
15
00:00:46,830 --> 00:00:48,630
all these funny
mayor stories.
16
00:00:48,670 --> 00:00:50,090
Oh, yeah? Oh, Holly,
17
00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:52,550
let me pay you
for this week.
18
00:00:52,590 --> 00:00:54,010
-There you go, sweetie.
-Thanks.
19
00:00:54,050 --> 00:00:56,260
You don't have
to pay my dog-walker
20
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,680
in front of me
like I'm an animal!
21
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:01,930
Well, you can
earn some money
22
00:01:01,970 --> 00:01:04,180
and pay her yourself.
23
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,480
Easy there, sister, I was
just making conversation.
24
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,060
HOLLY: Thanks, Carr.
Listen, Arthur,
25
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:10,400
I'm adding a new dog
to our walk next time--
26
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,070
this adorable
Jack Russell.
27
00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:14,400
I hope it's not
the Jack Russell
28
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,740
I knew in the army.
I left him for dead.
29
00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:19,410
Hey, babe.
30
00:01:19,450 --> 00:01:22,240
Hi, honey.
Listen, I'm sorry
31
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,500
I couldn't make
that meeting
32
00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:25,210
with the mortgage guy.
How'd it go?
33
00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:26,710
Great. He ran down
the options for me,
34
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:29,250
and I think I selected us
a refinancing plan
35
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,790
that fits our needs
pretty well.
36
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,210
Yeah? Which?
37
00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:33,710
Uh, the purple one?
38
00:01:35,050 --> 00:01:36,510
Did you
even read it?
39
00:01:36,550 --> 00:01:37,680
No, but the broker
was pushing it,
40
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,590
and he seemed like
a pretty bright guy.
41
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,260
Look, the middle-aged
black couple here
42
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,140
seems pretty happy
with it.
43
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,930
You're not ready to do
grown-up stuff
44
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,310
on your own, are you?
45
00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:49,690
I got the gist of it,
all right?
46
00:01:49,730 --> 00:01:52,020
Right now we got 7 years
left on our mortgage.
47
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,400
If we switch to this one,
48
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:54,900
it's gonna bring
our payments way down
49
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:57,070
because we're gonna spread 'em
out over the next 30 years.
50
00:01:57,110 --> 00:01:58,360
Huh. That sounds good.
51
00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,700
Yeah. My only concern was
52
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:02,700
are we really gonna dig
each other for that long?
53
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,250
Well, unless you leave me
for a roast beef,
54
00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:08,420
I think we're okay.
55
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:10,080
So when do we
sign everything?
56
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,420
I'm picking up
the application tomorrow,
57
00:02:11,460 --> 00:02:12,710
and I'll bring it
by your office.
58
00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:13,670
Holy sweet mother,
59
00:02:13,710 --> 00:02:16,340
I'm staring at
a bowl of chocolate.
60
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:18,130
Yeah,
I'm making brownies.
61
00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:19,340
Hey, get away.
They're not for you.
62
00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:20,550
They're for Curt
from work.
63
00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:22,470
-Who?
-Curt, my friend from work.
64
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,810
-It's his birthday tomorrow.
-Uh-huh.
65
00:02:24,850 --> 00:02:27,140
No--no! Stop it!
66
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:28,980
Don't--don't do it!
67
00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:30,150
No!
68
00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:31,480
You only bake
a few times a year!
69
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,480
I should be on the business end
of all of 'em!
70
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,190
Doug, I limit my baking
to keep you alive.
71
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,030
Well, you know, I'm not
sure I like you baking
72
00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:40,240
for another man, anyway.
73
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,280
All right. You know
what? Relax.
74
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,160
Curt is gay.
75
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,990
Oh, well,
then there's no way
76
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,200
he can eat a tray
full of brownies
77
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,330
and still look good
in his gay pants,
78
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:48,750
so give--
give 'em to me!
79
00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:50,710
No! Stop it! Stop it!
80
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,630
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
81
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:01,510
-Hey, Doug.
-Oh, hey, Amy.
82
00:03:01,550 --> 00:03:03,890
You, uh, see
the wifeski?
83
00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:05,890
-The what?
-The wifeski.
84
00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:09,680
I'm sorry. I don't know
what you're saying.
85
00:03:09,730 --> 00:03:11,440
My wife Carrie.
Have you seen her?
86
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,730
Oh!
87
00:03:12,770 --> 00:03:14,650
Yeah, she should be back
from lunch any minute.
88
00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:16,520
-Thanks.
-Okay.
89
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:29,040
[COMPUTER EMITTING LONG BEEP]
90
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,040
[BEEP STOPS]
91
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,120
Hey, Honey!
92
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,790
-Hey!
-Hey!
93
00:03:32,830 --> 00:03:33,880
-How are ya?
-Good.
94
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,130
I brought
the mortgage down.
95
00:03:35,170 --> 00:03:36,800
Oh, good. Curt,
this is my husband Doug.
96
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,090
Oh, it's great
to meet you finally.
97
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,460
C-Curt.
Brownie Curt.
98
00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:41,510
Yeah. I'd offer you
one, but my co-workers
99
00:03:41,550 --> 00:03:42,840
pretty much mowed
right through them.
100
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,260
I yanked my hands
away just in time.
101
00:03:46,350 --> 00:03:48,310
Well, no biggie.
102
00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:56,650
Speaking of
scary co-workers,
103
00:03:56,690 --> 00:03:59,030
did you see Van Veen
make his way over here?
104
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:01,320
Uh, yeah. He was just
standing there staring at us.
105
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,570
"What ya got there?
Brownies?"
106
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,410
-Very odd.
-Very odd!
107
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:05,910
And did you see he was wearing
that thing again?
108
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:07,120
That thing
with the snaps?
109
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:08,200
Yeah, yeah.
He thinks it works for him.
110
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,240
-Doesn't.
-Uh-uh!
111
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,450
[BOTH LAUGHING]
112
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,710
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, totally!
113
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,750
So, anyway, I got the, uh,
mortgage thing here.
114
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,340
You just gotta sign next
to the little tabbies.
115
00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:22,970
All right, well, did you read
through it this time?
116
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:24,930
No.
117
00:04:24,970 --> 00:04:26,300
I paid the guy
to put the tabbies there
118
00:04:26,340 --> 00:04:27,430
so we wouldn't
have to read it.
119
00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:28,930
Okay, I'm gonna
go make a copy.
120
00:04:28,970 --> 00:04:30,390
I'll be right back.
121
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:33,980
Oh, God, I'm stuffed.
122
00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:35,900
Carrie took me out
for sushi.
123
00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:37,770
Oh, great. That's one less
time she begs me to go.
124
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,110
[LAUGHS]
125
00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:41,740
Raw fish not as good
as cooked cow.
126
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,530
Hey!
127
00:04:44,570 --> 00:04:46,280
It's Carrie's
work husband
128
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,490
and her real husband
129
00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:49,450
in the same place.
130
00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:56,120
Work husband?
131
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,130
Oh, yeah. It's just this joke
they got going here
132
00:04:58,170 --> 00:04:59,250
'cause we're
always together.
133
00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:00,460
I'm her work husband.
134
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,460
She's my work wife.
It's stupid.
135
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,300
No, no, it's...
136
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:06,300
[HOARSELY] funny.
It's funny.
137
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,220
All right, honey.
Here ya go.
138
00:05:08,260 --> 00:05:09,760
-Okay.
-All right.
139
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,600
Now we gotta go set up the
conference room for a meeting.
140
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:13,730
The millionaires will riot
141
00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:14,980
if they don't get
their free muffins.
142
00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:16,310
-Okay.
-Okay. I love you.
143
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,730
-CURT: It's nice to meet you.
-You, too.
144
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,830
[TV PLAYING]
145
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,170
Douglas.
146
00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:40,040
[SIGHS] Hey, Arthur.
147
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,130
[TURNS TV OFF]
148
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:44,050
What's troubling you, son?
149
00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:45,720
You never looked heavier.
150
00:05:53,390 --> 00:05:55,730
Thanks.
151
00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:57,890
Come here.
152
00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,480
Well, there's this--
153
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,400
there's this guy
that Carrie works with.
154
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:03,980
Nothing really bad's
going on.
155
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,360
He's--actually, he's gay.
156
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,700
Ah, the homosexuals.
157
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:11,870
It's wonderful, the things
they've given to our culture.
158
00:06:11,910 --> 00:06:13,580
I'm a big fan.
159
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,250
Can I finish?
160
00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:17,910
-All right.
-So, anyway,
161
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,630
she and this guy
got this thing going.
162
00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:21,840
They're really close,
163
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,090
and they have
all these inside jokes.
164
00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:25,170
They go out for sushi,
165
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:26,300
and it turns out
the people there
166
00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:28,130
call him
her work husband.
167
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,260
I mean,
what's with that?
168
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,390
Come on.
It's innocent fun.
169
00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:34,350
I actually had
a work wife once.
170
00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:35,430
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
171
00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:38,310
Her name was
Phyllis Schneck.
172
00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:40,650
She worked with me
in a crab cannery
173
00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:44,110
-in Glen Burnie, Maryland.
-All righty.
174
00:06:44,150 --> 00:06:46,280
Every morning, I would
kiss my real wife good-bye
175
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,070
and head to work.
176
00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:49,450
Down at the cannery,
177
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:51,530
Phyllis and I would laugh
our heads off all day,
178
00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:54,780
you know,
real inside crab humor.
179
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:57,620
Then, one day,
180
00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:59,370
at the company picnic,
181
00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:01,960
we hopped off
into the forest
182
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,840
in a potato sack
183
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,630
and made love
like rabbits.
184
00:07:11,970 --> 00:07:13,550
Now that I think
about it, Douglas,
185
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,470
gay or not, new guy
spells bad news.
186
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,100
The new guy's so cute,
isn't he?
187
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,440
He's okay.
188
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,270
I doubt he'll be
doing any Alpo ads
189
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,610
any time soon.
190
00:07:25,650 --> 00:07:27,320
You're so good with
the Frisbee, pee-wee!
191
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,990
You're so good
with the Frisbee!
192
00:07:29,030 --> 00:07:31,990
We get it,
he's good with the Frisbee.
193
00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:42,330
[TURNS TV OFF]
194
00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:43,330
-Hey.
-Hey.
195
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,170
How was the rest
of your work day?
196
00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:46,340
Fine.
197
00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:48,170
Just fine? Come on,
give me more than that.
198
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,340
What?
199
00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:51,420
Come on. I want to be part
of your work life.
200
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,600
Do you also want to pick out
my outfit for tomorrow?
201
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,680
Look, I'm serious.
202
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:57,890
Like, what's up
with the weird guy
203
00:07:57,930 --> 00:07:59,140
who kept staring
at the brownies?
204
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:00,980
-Van Veen?
-Yes!
205
00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:03,600
What the hell is up
with Van Veen?
206
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,610
Give me the what-what
on Van Veen.
207
00:08:06,650 --> 00:08:10,530
Nothing. He's just a very
annoying man who's 4'11".
208
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:12,030
Why do you care?
209
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:13,700
Well, excuse me
for wanting to know
210
00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:14,990
as much about your life
211
00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:17,490
as your
work husband does.
212
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,120
-What?
-That's right.
213
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,950
You didn't think I'd find
out you're a bigamist,
214
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,920
did you, Utah?
215
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,040
Doug, are you
actually telling me
216
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,960
you're upset
because I have a friend
217
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,090
who people,
as a dumb joke,
218
00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:29,590
call my work husband?
219
00:08:29,630 --> 00:08:31,090
No, you know, you're right.
Why am I getting upset? Really.
220
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:32,380
You just have another
husband. That's all.
221
00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:34,010
Doug, Curt is gay.
222
00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:36,430
What part of gay
do you not understand?
223
00:08:36,470 --> 00:08:39,260
I understand
plenty parts of gay.
224
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,720
-Do you, Doug?
-Yeah, I do.
225
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:43,440
Well, you're
being ridiculous.
226
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,520
Look, even if there
is no sex involved,
227
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,730
how would you like it
228
00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:49,400
if I had a work wife
at I.P.S., huh?
229
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,440
What if Wanda
the dispatcher and I
230
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,150
just started spending
all this time together?
231
00:08:53,190 --> 00:08:55,660
Wanda never
leaves her desk.
232
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:58,450
She's 400 pounds.
233
00:08:58,490 --> 00:08:59,580
Of fun.
234
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:01,830
All right,
you know what?
235
00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:04,580
I am done with
this conversation.
236
00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:05,750
Whether he's gay or not,
237
00:09:05,790 --> 00:09:07,080
bottom line is you
found somebody at work
238
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,380
you're sharing
all these things with
239
00:09:08,420 --> 00:09:10,340
that you should
be sharing with me.
240
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:12,960
You guys have
all these inside jokes.
241
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,260
You got all this stuff
in common.
242
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,930
You go out for lunch,
you hang out.
243
00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:17,090
You just described
244
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:20,220
your exact relationship
with Deacon.
245
00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:22,640
No, I didn't.
246
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:25,600
Think about it.
247
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,150
Have I ever once baked
brownies for Deacon?
248
00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:29,110
No, but you made him
that big sandwich,
249
00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:32,610
and you told me how much you
enjoyed watching him eat it.
250
00:09:32,650 --> 00:09:34,610
Okay, that was a new kind
of ham I discovered.
251
00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:36,200
It's totally different.
252
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,280
And you guys have a million
inside jokes.
253
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,080
I mean, I come home,
you two are on the couch--
254
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,490
"Hey, Eddie, Eddie."
255
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:45,040
I mean, I don't know what
the hell you guys talk about.
256
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,540
So, admit it.
257
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,580
There are many times you'd
rather be spending time
258
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,630
with Deacon than with me.
259
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:51,960
So whether you like it or not,
260
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,710
he is your work wife.
261
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,720
You're ugly.
262
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,310
What's up, man?
263
00:10:02,350 --> 00:10:03,720
What's up?
264
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:15,070
*Oh, you are everything*
265
00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:18,070
*And everything is you*
266
00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:21,830
*Oh, you are everything*
267
00:10:21,870 --> 00:10:24,330
*And everything is you*
268
00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:28,290
*Oh, you are everything*
269
00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:32,210
*And everything is you*
270
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,300
*How can I forget*
271
00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:42,010
*When each facethat I see*
272
00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:45,310
*Brings back memories*
273
00:10:45,350 --> 00:10:48,730
*Of being with you*
274
00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:53,360
*I just can't go on*
275
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,360
*Living life as I do*
276
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,490
*Comparing each girl to--*
277
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,700
You wanna catch
a movie tonight?
278
00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:05,330
Try and stop me.
279
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,040
Look at the ball,
Pee-Wee. Ready?
280
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:10,290
Go get it.
281
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:13,080
Oh, isn't he great?
I just love him!
282
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,380
By the way, I was reading
a scathing piece
283
00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:16,300
in the Op-Ed section
of today'sTimes.
284
00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:17,670
-Did you happen to see it?
-No, I didn't.
285
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:18,880
Oh, who's
a good boy?
286
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:19,880
You're a good boy.
287
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,470
You're a good boy.
Ready?
288
00:11:21,510 --> 00:11:23,050
Go get it again.
289
00:11:23,090 --> 00:11:24,100
It was saying
we haven't had
290
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:25,390
a decent secretary
of commerce
291
00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:26,930
-in over a decade.
-Oh, real--
292
00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:28,430
Oh, who's smarter
than you?
293
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,640
Nobody. Nobody's smarter
than you. Ready?
294
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,100
Look at it.
295
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,730
Look at it.
296
00:11:33,770 --> 00:11:36,070
Go get it!
297
00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:38,230
Come here! Come here!
298
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,900
-[PEE-WEE GROWLS]
-ARTHUR: Give me that ball,
299
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:42,110
Pee-Wee! Give it to me!
300
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,820
[PEE-WEE YELPS]
301
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,410
I believe
this is yours.
302
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,250
CARRIE: Curt,
do not ask him out.
303
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:53,880
Because he's straight.
304
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,000
He is!
305
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,250
All right,
good luck to you.
306
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,010
Hey, call me
after the train wreck.
307
00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:01,380
Okay. Bye.
308
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:02,510
It's wonderful
to see how you kids
309
00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:04,590
keep your marriage
so fresh.
310
00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:06,810
Ha ha ha ha.
311
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:08,600
Listen,
the mortgage guy called.
312
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,140
He wants us to meet him
in his office at 3:30 tomorrow
313
00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:12,480
to sign
the final papers.
314
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,060
DOUG: Great. In other news,
you were right.
315
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,400
Deacon is
my work wife,
316
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,770
and I'm good with that,
so there you go.
317
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,030
Are you still
on this thing?
318
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:20,690
I'm not on or off
anything, okay?
319
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:21,900
It's just fact.
320
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:22,990
You found somebody
you like to spend
321
00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:24,570
all your time with,
and so have I.
322
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,950
Don't be a moron.
I never said I wanted
323
00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:28,580
to spend
all my time with Curt.
324
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:31,080
It's fine. You guys
can hang out, eat sushi.
325
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,540
Deacon and I
are going out tonight
326
00:12:32,580 --> 00:12:34,460
to explore one
ofourcommon interests,
327
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,840
the cinema
of Mr. Vin Diesel.
328
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,340
Okay, you know what?
329
00:12:44,510 --> 00:12:46,390
Hey, Curt,
it's me again.
330
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:48,510
Hey, do you want to go dancing
or something tonight?
331
00:12:49,930 --> 00:12:51,140
Okay, great.
332
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:52,980
So I'll see you in,
what, like, a half hour?
333
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:54,850
All right, hon.
Bye-bye.
334
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:57,610
Ya happy?
335
00:12:57,650 --> 00:12:59,480
Thrilled.
It's better this way.
336
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:00,860
Now you don't
have to pretend to care
337
00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:02,740
about sports
and ground beef,
338
00:13:02,780 --> 00:13:04,490
and I don't have
to pretend to care
339
00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:07,620
about your new shoes
and your feelings.
340
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:09,450
You know what?
Maybe I do wanna spend
341
00:13:09,490 --> 00:13:11,490
every second of my day
with Curt.
342
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,250
Feels good
to admit it, right?
343
00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:14,500
Feels fantastic.
344
00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:15,580
Would you do me a
favor? Please hand me
345
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:18,000
my Michael Jordan
cologne?
346
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,130
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
347
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:20,550
Here we go.
348
00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:21,550
Wow, wow.
349
00:13:21,590 --> 00:13:23,090
I like to smell good
for my man.
350
00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:24,510
Okay...
351
00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:28,300
-Zip me please.
-Not a problem.
352
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,220
Zip me please.
353
00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:35,850
-Why? Your fly?
-That's right, my fly.
354
00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:37,600
You can zip
your own fly.
355
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,230
That is such a slap
in the face.
356
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:48,450
Hey, you think
Vin Diesel's full name
357
00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:50,910
is Vincent Diesel?
358
00:13:50,950 --> 00:13:53,450
-I think the name
is totally made up.
-Really?
359
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,700
So you don't think
out there somewhere
360
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:57,330
there's a very proud
Sam and Edna Diesel?
361
00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:01,960
Doug?
362
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,170
Hey, Carrie.
363
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,630
Hello.
364
00:14:04,670 --> 00:14:06,680
What are you
doing here?
365
00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:09,640
I told you I wanted
to try this place.
366
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,050
What are you
doing here?
367
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:15,180
Sorry, I didn't realize
you owned El Diablo's.
368
00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:18,270
Can I start
you guys off
369
00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:19,350
with something
to drink?
370
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,230
Yeah, I'll
have a margarita.
371
00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:22,270
Oh, you
wanna share one?
372
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,440
I don't wanna
drink that much.
373
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,070
Oh, sure. We'll
share a margarita.
374
00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:28,150
Oh, and Deacon and I will
share a margarita as well.
375
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,740
No, we won't.
376
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,120
Fine, then
we'll share 2.
377
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,830
Okay, thanks.
378
00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:39,620
So, what did
you guys do tonight?
379
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,130
Saw a movie.
Loved it.
380
00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:43,380
Lot of explosions
and loud noises.
381
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:45,050
Not for you two.
382
00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:46,630
So how was your
little dance party?
383
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:47,720
It was great.
384
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,630
Curt's
a really great dancer.
385
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,640
He's in great shape
'cause he works out a lot.
386
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,810
Oh, wow. Jeez.
387
00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:55,560
Well, Curt,
what do you bench?
388
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,640
Oh, about 180.
389
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,020
180. Deac,
how about you?
390
00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:01,310
-I don't know. Like, 210.
-210?
391
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:02,900
Hmm.
392
00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:05,150
That's slightly
more than Curt.
393
00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:08,030
Wow, Doug.
394
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:09,860
Your work wife
can bench more
395
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:12,410
than
my work husband.
396
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,460
Um, you know,
397
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,710
I think I'm just gonna go
check on our drinks.
398
00:15:26,130 --> 00:15:27,420
Work wife?
399
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,260
Yeah, Curt
is her work husband.
400
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:31,550
You're my work wife.
401
00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:34,100
Do I like pinto beans
or black beans?
402
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:37,890
Work wife?
403
00:15:37,930 --> 00:15:40,230
Don't worry about it.
It's fine.
404
00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:41,520
Oh, lookee here.
405
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,480
Looks like Curt's found
himself another date.
406
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,520
CARRIE: Oh. Perfect.
407
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,900
I was having
a great night with him
408
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:48,190
until you showed up.
409
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:49,940
Work wife?!
410
00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:53,240
It's nothing.
Don't make a scene.
411
00:15:54,410 --> 00:15:56,030
Look, I--I don't know
what the hell's going on
412
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,120
between you two,
but don't drag me into this,
413
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,290
and don't call me
your work wife.
414
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:05,340
And if anything,
you're my work wife.
415
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:11,300
Hey, Pee-Wee!
416
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:12,630
Who's the best, Pee-Wee?
417
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,800
You're the best, Pee-Wee!
[GIGGLES]
418
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:16,810
WOMAN: Excuse me?
419
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:17,890
Do you know
what time it is?
420
00:16:17,930 --> 00:16:19,770
It's, uh...
421
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:28,730
It's a quarter past
the hour of 2:00.
422
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,690
Thanks.
423
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:33,660
May I assume you walk
dogs professionally?
424
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:35,070
Yep.
425
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,910
Would you happen
to have any openings
426
00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:38,080
in your group?
427
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,540
Sure. Always room
for one more.
428
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:43,710
Uh, where's your dog?
429
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,500
You're looking
at him.
430
00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:48,670
Time to go,
Arthur.
431
00:16:48,710 --> 00:16:50,210
Actually, while
you've been heaping love
432
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,760
on your
precious Pee-Wee,
433
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,680
I made
other arrangements.
434
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,180
This striking
young lady
435
00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:58,100
will be walking me
henceforth.
436
00:16:58,140 --> 00:16:59,310
Arthur, are you
actually saying
437
00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:01,310
that you're jealous
of Pee-Wee?
438
00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:03,560
Arthur, he's a dog.
You're a person.
439
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,770
Spin it
any way you want.
440
00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:06,860
It still stinks!
441
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:07,940
Oh, come on, Arthur.
442
00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:09,770
You know
I love walking you.
443
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:10,820
Prove it.
444
00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:12,610
Either he goes or I go!
445
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:14,240
Well, I gotta say,
Pee-Wee's owners
446
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,610
do pay me
slightly more than...
447
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,580
y-yours.
448
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,490
Fine. I'm out of here.
449
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,540
Congratulations, Pee-Wee.
450
00:17:22,580 --> 00:17:24,620
Enjoy it till
she tosses you aside
451
00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:27,170
-for the next young pup!
-Ohh!
452
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,800
Well...
453
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,130
I'm yours.
454
00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:36,220
Which direction
are we going?
455
00:17:36,260 --> 00:17:37,390
I'm sorry.
456
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:39,510
I don't walk people.
457
00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:41,010
Uh-huh.
458
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,220
I wish you'd told me
that before.
459
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,020
Holly!
460
00:17:47,060 --> 00:17:48,150
MAN: So,
we're offering you
461
00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:49,900
a no-cost,
30-year refinance,
462
00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:51,320
and your
last installment
463
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,480
will be due
464
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,570
in November of 2032.
465
00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:58,370
Before you sign this,
look it over,
466
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,370
see if you have
any more questions.
467
00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:01,790
I just need to say hi
to a camp friend
468
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:03,950
who stopped by
to visit.
469
00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:11,840
Thanks to you, Curt totally
avoided me today.
470
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,550
He didn't even get me
my Starbucks
471
00:18:13,590 --> 00:18:16,010
like he usually does.
472
00:18:16,050 --> 00:18:18,510
Deacon called me
an a-hole.
473
00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:22,760
Question for you,
474
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:23,970
do you think it's wrong
that we're
475
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,230
about to sign a mortgage
476
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,890
to live in a house
together for 30 years,
477
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,100
and it just
came out this week
478
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,110
that we have
nothing in common?
479
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,020
We have stuff
in common.
480
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,400
Oh, yeah. We both prefer
the company of other people.
481
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:35,820
We nailed that.
482
00:18:35,860 --> 00:18:37,900
We have stuff
in common.
483
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,990
Right?
484
00:18:40,030 --> 00:18:41,700
I don't know. What's
all this stuff we have?
485
00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:43,030
Well, okay,
for one thing,
486
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,450
we have
a great sex life.
487
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,250
Okay, but what about
when the sex goes away?
488
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,330
-Maybe it won't go away.
-Oh, please.
489
00:18:48,370 --> 00:18:49,710
Do you realize
how brittle
490
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,920
your bones will be
in 30 years?
491
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,090
I'll crush you to dust.
492
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:55,880
What if we're just
493
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,090
sitting across
from each other
494
00:18:57,130 --> 00:18:58,550
30 years from now,
495
00:18:58,590 --> 00:18:59,550
bored to tears,
496
00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:02,050
your father's,
like, 105,
497
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,390
and he's hooked up to some
machine in the kitchen,
498
00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:05,310
and I can't even get
at the waffle maker?
499
00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:06,810
Is that a pretty picture
for ya, huh?
500
00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:08,350
Doug, come on.
This is stupid.
501
00:19:08,390 --> 00:19:10,230
We have a lot
of stuff in common,
502
00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:11,690
a lot.
503
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:13,060
In fact,
you know what?
504
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,610
Why don't we
each make a list
505
00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:16,070
of our
10 favorite things,
506
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:18,740
and if we don't have
at least one match,
507
00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:20,780
we do not sign
these mortgage papers.
508
00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:23,120
-Fine.
-Okay.
509
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,500
Actually,
let's make it 20.
510
00:19:29,910 --> 00:19:30,870
Number 18.
511
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,210
Okay, we got
3 more shots
512
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:34,250
at making a match here.
What do you got?
513
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:35,880
-Sunsets.
-Sunsets?!
514
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,670
What?
What do you have?
515
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:38,800
New car smell.
516
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,260
-What?!
-I can't believe you!
517
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:41,720
You see
a freakin' sunset
518
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:42,930
every day
of your life!
519
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,390
New car smell.
Now, that's special!
520
00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:46,010
All right, all right.
Let's just calm down.
521
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,480
We have 2 more left,
all right?
522
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,440
All right, number 19.
What do you got?
523
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:52,980
A good book.
524
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,230
Do you wanna live
with me or not?!
525
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,690
Yes, I wanna
live with you.
526
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,200
I love you,
you idiot!
527
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,700
Well,
I love you, too!
528
00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:02,950
Well, if you loved me,
529
00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:04,820
you'd wanna go salsa dancing
once in a while.
530
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,030
Well, if you loved me,
531
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,450
you'd enjoy a nice can
of SpaghettiOs
532
00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:08,700
from time to time.
533
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:09,910
Well, if you loved me,
534
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:11,460
you wouldn't
have used 2 slots
535
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:14,630
for SpaghettiOs
andBeef-a-Roni!
536
00:20:14,670 --> 00:20:15,790
They're different.
537
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,380
If you loved me,
you'd know that!
538
00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:22,130
Okay, you folks ready
to sign that mortgage?
539
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,840
Not unless
our number 20s match.
540
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,800
We got a whole thing
going here.
541
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,680
All right, what do
you got, sister?
542
00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:32,440
You know what?
543
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,020
I bet you
544
00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:36,650
our number 20s match.
545
00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:38,150
-What?
-That's right.
546
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:40,820
And even if they don't,
547
00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:42,240
it doesn't matter.
548
00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:50,040
Great. Well, we'll get
this all processed,
549
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,330
and we'll mail you guys
out a copy.
550
00:20:51,370 --> 00:20:53,500
Okay, great.
Well, thanks
for your help.
551
00:20:53,540 --> 00:20:54,960
Thank you very much.
See ya.
552
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,170
-Bye.
-Bye.
553
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,470
You really mean that?
It doesn't matter?
554
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:03,430
Doug,
555
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:06,340
you can't
put this on a list.
556
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,020
Just for kicks,
557
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,020
do you wanna say what
we had for number 20?
558
00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:13,850
Okay.
559
00:21:13,890 --> 00:21:15,270
You first.
560
00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:17,060
Chamomile tea.
561
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,610
-Porno.
-Let's go.
562
00:21:27,570 --> 00:21:30,160
and the nail polish
on my thumbnail peels off,
563
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,410
so I go back,
and I'm like,
564
00:21:31,450 --> 00:21:32,790
"Can you fix this please?"
565
00:21:32,830 --> 00:21:37,130
And Suzy, who I've been
a very loyal customer to,
566
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:38,250
okay, and tip very well...
567
00:21:38,290 --> 00:21:40,500
*And everything is you*
568
00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:44,260
*Oh, you are everything*
569
00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:45,800
*And every--*
570
00:21:46,470 --> 00:21:47,590
I love you.
571
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,600
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Aww...
572
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,930
But the main problem
with the Socialist Party
in the 1940s
573
00:21:52,970 --> 00:21:55,890
is that they didn't
tailor their message
to the common working man.
574
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,730
Everything
was very theoretical...
575
00:21:57,770 --> 00:21:59,900
* You are everything *
576
00:21:59,940 --> 00:22:02,940
*And everything is you*
577
00:22:02,980 --> 00:22:07,410
* Oh, youare everything, and-- *
578
00:22:07,450 --> 00:22:10,490
[**]
39693
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