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1
00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:04,790
* My eyesare gettin' weary *
2
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:07,290
* My back is gettin' tight *
3
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,300
* I'm sittin' herein traffic *
4
00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:12,090
* On the Queensboro Bridgetonight *
5
00:00:12,130 --> 00:00:17,510
* But I don't care,'cause all I want to do *
6
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:21,220
* Is cash my check and driveright home to you *
7
00:00:23,350 --> 00:00:25,100
* 'Cause, baby,all my life *
8
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:28,440
* I will be drivin' hometo you *
9
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,870
Oh, my God.
Coffee now.
10
00:00:37,910 --> 00:00:39,660
Hey. Hey, look what
I got going here.
11
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:40,790
What?
12
00:00:40,830 --> 00:00:43,200
I'm having my regular
Cocoa Krispies,
13
00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:44,370
but I'm cutting them
14
00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:48,080
with the more sensible
Rice Krispies.
15
00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:49,250
And what do you get?
16
00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:51,340
A healthier me.
17
00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:54,760
Or you could just
have a piece of fruit.
18
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,430
Fruit? Why the hell
do you got to go there?
19
00:00:58,470 --> 00:00:59,640
Sorry.
20
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,720
I'm in a bad mood
'cause of work.
21
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,520
Pruzan got his first
big case as partner,
22
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,190
and he's gone off
the deep end.
23
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:07,230
I mean, could you
believe what time
I got home?
24
00:01:07,270 --> 00:01:08,480
Why, was it late?
25
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,770
It was 3:00
in the morning.
26
00:01:09,810 --> 00:01:11,480
Don't you even know
when I'm not there?
27
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,150
I got to be honest
with you, Car.
28
00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:14,400
That comforter
gets bunched up,
29
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:15,700
you're easy to lose.
30
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,910
So, what's this big case
you got, anyway?
31
00:01:18,950 --> 00:01:20,660
It's actually
kind of interesting.
32
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,240
We're representing
the shareholders
33
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:24,120
of this dot-com
who claim management
34
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,580
ran the company
into the ground.
35
00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:27,420
The managers
are trying to blame
everybody else--
36
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:30,590
the distributors,
the delivery services.
37
00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:35,630
You're very far away
right now, aren't you?
38
00:01:35,670 --> 00:01:37,550
I'm trying to listen.
39
00:01:37,590 --> 00:01:38,800
You just got to give me
a little more to hang on to.
40
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,300
Like instead of saying
"shareholders,"
41
00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:44,520
you could say, "midgets."
42
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:45,770
I got to get going.
43
00:01:45,810 --> 00:01:47,230
Don't forget.
You got to meet me
tonight
44
00:01:47,270 --> 00:01:48,600
at Danny
and Spence's.
45
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,520
They're having
that housewarming
party thing.
46
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:51,860
Oh, my God.
Is that tonight?
47
00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:53,440
You have to go.
We promised.
48
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,440
They're counting on
you to be the women.
49
00:01:56,490 --> 00:01:58,570
All right, I'll see you there.
Wish me luck today.
50
00:01:58,610 --> 00:01:59,740
Good luck.
51
00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:08,290
I need bacon.
52
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:12,590
Partners meeting
in 5 minutes.
53
00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:14,920
What did I do with
the expert witness list?
54
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,550
Carrie?
I'm sorry. Which list?
55
00:02:17,590 --> 00:02:19,760
The list with the names
of the expert witnesses.
56
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,470
ComprendeEnglish?
57
00:02:21,510 --> 00:02:23,430
Pull it together, Pruzan.
58
00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:25,310
Pull it together.
59
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:26,850
It's Okay. It's okay.
Here it is.
60
00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:28,350
Expert witness list.
61
00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:29,310
Let's see.
62
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,310
We still
need to book
63
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,810
an inventory
specialist,
64
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,610
a software
engineer,
65
00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:35,480
a delivery driver.
66
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,320
Carrie, your husband
drives for IPS, right?
67
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,700
Uh-huh.
Great.
68
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,200
Could you get him
or one of his buddies
69
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,530
to come in and testify? Hmm?
70
00:02:42,570 --> 00:02:44,490
Can you take care of that?
71
00:02:44,530 --> 00:02:46,490
Um, oh, okay.
72
00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:48,250
That's my girl.
73
00:02:48,290 --> 00:02:49,830
Hey, you better
get to your meeting.
74
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,210
Right.
75
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:57,550
I don't look like
I've been crying, do I?
76
00:02:59,590 --> 00:03:00,840
No, you're good.
77
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,550
Okay.
78
00:03:03,470 --> 00:03:05,220
Psycho.
79
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,930
Wow, Doug as
an expert witness.
80
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,850
Doug. Heh.
81
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,400
What do you think?
82
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:14,770
That'll be interesting.
83
00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:22,320
Hey, nice party.
84
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,700
Seven loser guys in an
apartment with no heat.
85
00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:26,740
Okay. Hey, will you
quit complaining?
86
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,830
You know, I offered you
a mug of hot cider
87
00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:30,290
and you punched me.
88
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,630
And I stand by
that decision.
89
00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:36,960
You know, hey, look,
you gotta plate of ribs
90
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,050
hot off the grill--
will that make you happy?
91
00:03:40,090 --> 00:03:42,260
You just bought yourself
10 minutes.
92
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,890
[JAZZ PLAYING SOFTLY
OVER SPEAKERS]
93
00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:46,890
Hey, girl.
94
00:03:46,930 --> 00:03:48,060
The girl
in the house!
95
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,390
Hey.
96
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:52,560
Welcome to
Casa Danny y Spence.
97
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,560
Let me take your coat.
Oh, Okay.
98
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:56,560
Hey.
99
00:03:56,610 --> 00:03:57,900
Hello. Wow.
100
00:03:57,940 --> 00:03:59,570
Could you guys
crank up the heat
a little bit?
101
00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:01,570
Um, sorry.
No can do.
102
00:04:01,610 --> 00:04:02,700
Gas is broken,
103
00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:04,570
and someone
who's here all day
104
00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:05,820
refuses to wait
for the gasman.
105
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,450
Hey, I work
the night shift.
106
00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:08,700
I need my sleep
during the day.
107
00:04:08,740 --> 00:04:09,870
[IMITATES CRYING BABY]
108
00:04:09,910 --> 00:04:11,870
I'm too sleepy
to wake up
109
00:04:11,910 --> 00:04:13,580
and answer the door.
110
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:14,670
Back off!
111
00:04:14,710 --> 00:04:16,710
And back off now.
112
00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:18,420
Hey, excuse me,
I need to talk to Doug
113
00:04:18,460 --> 00:04:20,510
about grown-up stuff.
Excuse me.
114
00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:21,920
Hold on.
I got another one.
115
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,630
You can't fire me,
Mr. Slate, 'cause I quit!
116
00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:28,680
The bone phone.
It's a bone phone.
117
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,810
Hey. Hi.
118
00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:31,930
Hey, baby!
119
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,940
Mwah. How was work?
Uh, good, good.
120
00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:35,440
Actually, I need to talk
to you about something.
121
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,610
Wait, do you need
to talk to me or to...
122
00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:41,320
Walrus Doug?
123
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,610
[LAUGHING]
[FEIGNED LAUGH]
124
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,700
So, what'd you have
to talk to me about, anyway?
125
00:04:47,490 --> 00:04:50,790
You know what?
Um, I'll be right back.
126
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:51,950
Hi.
127
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,460
Oh, hey, Holly.
128
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:54,580
How was
our boy's walk?
129
00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:55,540
It was good.
130
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:56,710
He made
snarly teeth
131
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:57,710
at a water fountain.
132
00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,040
It was very cute.
133
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,000
Snarly teeth.
Grrr.
134
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,630
Hey, when he does that,
135
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,510
just hit him with
a rolled-up newspaper.
136
00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:06,550
So, what's up?
137
00:05:06,590 --> 00:05:08,140
Middle of
a conversation here.
138
00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:09,970
It's Okay. I have
to leave anyway.
139
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,060
Oh, well do you
want to stay
140
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,520
for the party or...
141
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,810
Party?
142
00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:16,480
No, thanks.
143
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:17,770
Okay, bye.
144
00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:18,770
DANNY: See ya.
145
00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:21,110
See ya later.
146
00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:22,980
Stay away from her.
147
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:24,690
Well, if that's
what you want...
148
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:26,740
I won't.
149
00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:28,820
So, that's it.
It's one day of prep
150
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,080
and one day
for the deposition.
151
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,370
Can you do it?
152
00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:32,580
100 bucks an hour
just to sit there
153
00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:33,580
and be an expert?
154
00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:34,700
Yeah, I'll do it
full-time.
155
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,460
Thank you.
156
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,830
So, what's the deal?
Doug ran out of sick days?
157
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,920
Um, no. Actually,
I didn't ask Doug.
158
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,460
Oh.
Oh, my God.
159
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,800
I should ask Doug.
I'm gonna--
160
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,050
No. You know what?
161
00:05:47,090 --> 00:05:48,930
I'm gonna go with my gut
and my gut says you.
162
00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:50,510
So, what should
I say to Doug?
163
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,100
Well, I thought we can
keep this between us.
164
00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:56,770
Oh, my God.
That sounds so evil.
165
00:05:56,810 --> 00:05:58,650
Am I evil?
166
00:05:58,690 --> 00:06:01,480
You want me to do this
or not?
167
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,820
Yes. Yes. Definitely.
168
00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:06,190
I have total faith in you.
Yeah.
169
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,700
Hey, hon,
I was thinking
170
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:08,860
you must be freezing
out here,
171
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,070
so I just
got you that,
all right?
172
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,910
Aw, thank you, honey.
That was so sweet.
173
00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:13,080
No problem.
174
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,750
So, what time
do you want me--
175
00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:18,790
I'm gonna use Doug.
176
00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:27,840
How ya doin'?
Doug Heffernan: Expert.
177
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,010
[DOUG CHUCKLES]
178
00:06:29,050 --> 00:06:30,590
There she is.
Lookin' good.
179
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,810
Hey, guy, how's that water
workin' out for ya, huh?
180
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,220
Okay, honey, settle down.
181
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,060
You're an expert witness,
not a casino greeter.
182
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:39,600
I'm just excited,
you know?
183
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,900
I mean, look at us,
husband and wife,
working together.
184
00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:44,360
We're like
Hart to Harthere.
185
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,900
[IMITATING MAX]
There's Mrs. H.
She's gorgeous.
186
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:48,950
That's funny, honey.
Lower your voice.
187
00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:50,280
Why, what's up?
188
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,910
Yeah, just listen.
Today is like
a dry run, Okay.
189
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:55,200
Pruzan's gonna
take you through
all the questions
190
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,000
that the other side
might ask you when
they depose you,
191
00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,500
you got it?
I'm with ya.
192
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:01,420
Okay, let's go
head on into the
conference room--
193
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:04,960
Whoa! A little
har-ass-ment.
Harassment!
194
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,960
Listen to me.
195
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:10,470
I am gonna
ask you nicely...
Stop it!
196
00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:13,050
Yes, ma'am.
197
00:07:13,090 --> 00:07:16,970
So? What happens
after the packages
are loaded onto the truck?
198
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,930
Uh, that's a very
good question.
199
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,150
An excellent
question, actually.
200
00:07:22,190 --> 00:07:25,520
I guess it--
Could I get
another juice?
201
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:29,280
[CLEARS THROAT]
202
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,950
Thank you.
203
00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:34,490
Uh, I guess in
layman's terms, uh,
the delivery driver
204
00:07:34,530 --> 00:07:38,500
would transport
the aforementioned items,
205
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:42,120
uh, from
the shipping party
to the customer,
206
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,960
or shipee,
as it were.
207
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,500
So to speak.
208
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,420
Just to clarify, you keep saying
"aforementioned items".
209
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,470
I don't remember you mentioning
any items before.
210
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,510
Um, I think he was referring
211
00:07:56,550 --> 00:07:59,520
to when you mentioned them
before, Mr. Pruzan.
212
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,310
Yes, yes, exactly.
What she said, right there.
213
00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:09,030
Look at that.
I always wanted
to have a lawyer
214
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,530
whisper something
in my ear.
215
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:12,030
Beg your pardon?
216
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:13,570
I'm just saying,
if I ever, you know,
217
00:08:13,610 --> 00:08:14,990
had to appear in
front of Congress,
218
00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:16,990
that's like
the cool move,
you know?
219
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,240
I'm sorry, what?
220
00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:24,250
I don't recall.
221
00:08:43,270 --> 00:08:44,310
Morning.
222
00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:46,190
Ah, look, it's
Mr. Night Shift.
223
00:08:46,230 --> 00:08:49,190
Hey, how is your job
doing monkey work
in the dark?
224
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:53,070
Delightful.
Mmm.
225
00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:54,280
Hey, is that
my parka?
226
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,410
Yeah. Yeah,
I wore it to bed.
227
00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:58,660
Now it smells like me.
228
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:01,080
Gimme that back.
229
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,580
No. I'm smelling it up.
230
00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:04,660
Give it to me,
you lawn dwarf.
231
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,500
Aah! Unh! Unh!
232
00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,380
Oh, my.
233
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:12,630
Hi, Holly.
234
00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:15,430
Oh, hey. How's it,
uh, goin'?
235
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:18,390
Good, good.
I just came for Allen.
236
00:09:18,430 --> 00:09:21,260
Oh, righto.
I'll go get his leash.
237
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,270
Gosh, you guys like
to keep it pretty
brisk in here, huh?
238
00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:26,270
Yeah. Well, actually,
our gas is not working.
239
00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:28,770
Hey, how would you
like to do me a favor
240
00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:30,690
and just spend the day here
waiting for the gasman?
241
00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:32,610
You know,
I-I-I'd pay you.
242
00:09:32,650 --> 00:09:34,110
It would be nice
to earn some money
243
00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:36,650
without having
to scoop doodie.
244
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:39,200
I'm free Thursday if
that's good for you.
245
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,280
I'll call
The Gas Company.
246
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,530
Great.
247
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:44,290
There he is!
Hello, buddy.
Hello. Come on.
248
00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:45,750
Oh, who's
my boyfriend?
249
00:09:45,790 --> 00:09:47,750
I think it's you.
I think you're
my boyfriend.
250
00:09:47,790 --> 00:09:50,170
Okay, guys,
I'll see you later.
251
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,460
See you, Holl.
252
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,680
Wh-what was that?
253
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,260
That was me
being a man of action.
254
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:02,810
Emphasis on "man."
255
00:10:02,850 --> 00:10:05,680
Hey, hey, hey.
I know your game,
all right?
256
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,480
You get her in here.
She's waiting
in the cold.
257
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,230
You're in
your warm bed.
258
00:10:10,270 --> 00:10:14,070
You're, "Hey, Holly,
why don't you come
and huddle with me
259
00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:16,530
under the blankets?
You're pretty."
260
00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:18,530
Hey, hey. Look, look,
look, look.
261
00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:21,280
If that happens,
it happens, okay?
262
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,660
Can't fight nature.
263
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,540
Hey, hey, I can
if I take a personal
day off of work
264
00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:27,210
and keep her company
while she's waiting.
265
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:30,040
You mean, while
we'rewaiting.
266
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,670
Please, you will not
be able to stay up
267
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:33,380
after working
your night job.
268
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:36,550
I will after I take a fistful
of prescription stimulants.
269
00:10:42,390 --> 00:10:44,310
Hey, baby-cakes.
Hey.
270
00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:47,350
Great working
with you today.
Um, yeah.
271
00:10:47,390 --> 00:10:49,440
Just wanna let you know
when my expert-witness
career takes off,
272
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,230
I'm not gonna trade you in
for a trophy wife...
273
00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,690
unless you really
let yourself go.
274
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,150
So? They love me
or what?
Huh?
275
00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,360
How'd I do?
276
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,410
Um, you did
pretty good.
277
00:11:02,450 --> 00:11:04,490
Actually, now
that you, uh,
brought it up,
278
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,200
I do have
a few thoughts.
279
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,870
Ooh, feedback!
I love it!
Bring it on!
280
00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:12,880
Well, I was thinking,
you might wanna simplify
your answers a little bit.
281
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,380
What do
you mean?
282
00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:17,510
"Aforementioned,"
"alleged package."
283
00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:20,840
Use words where you're
sure of their meaning.
284
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,470
OK, I will take
the aforementioned
suggestion.
285
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,100
Which brings me
to my second point.
286
00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:31,440
I don't think
you should be
joking around as much.
287
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:32,560
Like, when?
288
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,270
Like, when you said
to Pruzan,
289
00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:37,530
"You'd better
be going somewhere
with this, Counselor."
290
00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:42,570
Um, this is real life,
notLaw & Order.
291
00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:43,570
All right.
292
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:46,740
It won an Emmy,
but whatever.
293
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,410
Anything else?
294
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:49,540
Yeah, about lunch--
295
00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:51,540
Lunch? I even
messed up lunch?
296
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:54,210
Well, honey, did you
happen to notice
that everyone else
297
00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:56,590
ordered sandwiches,
and you ordered what?
298
00:11:56,630 --> 00:11:59,380
Jambalaya.
299
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:03,720
A giant seafood stew
that came with an extra
plate for your shells
300
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,550
for $31.
301
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,390
Well, then don't
put it on the menu.
302
00:12:07,430 --> 00:12:09,520
Look, I'm just trying
to give you constructive
criticism here.
303
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,180
Well, it's not
constructive.
It's stupid.
304
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,190
I mean, you're picking
on the dumbest things.
305
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:15,940
They're not dumb things.
They're real things that
you need to work on.
306
00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:17,570
Yeah, well, you didn't
even mention any of
the good stuff I did.
307
00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:19,650
And P.S.,
there was a whole
sack of that.
308
00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:20,940
Oh, get over yourself.
309
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,200
No, you get over myself.
I'm doing you a favor.
310
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,280
Don't do me any favors.
311
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,450
Fine, then get
somebody else.
312
00:12:25,490 --> 00:12:26,660
I wanted someone else.
313
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,330
What do you mean?
314
00:12:28,370 --> 00:12:29,950
I asked Deacon first,
but then I thought,
no, no, no...
315
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,410
I'll get my husband.
You went to Deacon first?
316
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,250
Mm-hmm, that's right.
I would've gone to you,
317
00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:36,420
but you had a rib
in your ear at the time.
318
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:37,840
Fine. Then you
know what, then?
319
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,800
Go get your boyfriend
Deacon to testify.
320
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,590
Fine.
Fine.
321
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,880
Oh, and I'll expect you
not to wander
322
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,890
to my side of the bed tonight.
323
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:53,230
Carrie. I need you
to cross-reference
these files.
324
00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:56,560
Also, I'm running
very low on Xanax.
325
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,610
Which is weird, 'cause
I could've sworn you
were on top of that.
326
00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:01,820
Okay, I'll call
the pharmacy.
327
00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:02,940
That'd be super.
328
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,700
Oh, Mr. Pruzan,
before I forget,
329
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:08,320
I-I wanna tell you
not to worry.
I got you somebody else
330
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,490
to be your IPS witness
instead of Doug.
331
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:11,750
Deacon Palmer.
He's great.
332
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,660
What are you doin'
to me here, Car?
333
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:17,290
I just thought you
might want somebody
more professional.
334
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,790
What?! The juries
don't like that!
335
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,750
They like someone
they can trust,
like Doug.
336
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,960
He's real.
He's an everyman.
337
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,510
Well, I just thought,
the other day--
338
00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:26,300
Carrie, don't you
understand?
339
00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:30,930
This case is a dog.
It's a loser.
340
00:13:30,970 --> 00:13:33,310
The other partners
were just waiting
for me to choke,
341
00:13:33,350 --> 00:13:34,810
and now I am.
I'm choking, Carrie.
342
00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:37,350
And it's your
painted fingers
around my neck.
343
00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:40,270
Now, just get me
back your husband!
344
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,480
Okay.
Okay.
345
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,490
Hey, Car. I just
picked up some toys
for the kids.
346
00:13:48,530 --> 00:13:49,870
100 bucks
an hour buys--
347
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:51,240
I'm gonna use Doug.
348
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:04,670
Hey, sweetie.
349
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:06,970
[GAME PLAYING ON TV]
350
00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:20,770
Yeah, that's the stuff.
351
00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:24,230
Good to be home
with my man.
352
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,110
I missed you today.
Got used to working with you,
353
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:29,110
and then all of a sudden,
you weren't there.
354
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:33,080
I was, like, hey!
Where's Mr. H?
He's gorgeous.
355
00:14:34,490 --> 00:14:38,870
I thought I used
big words and ate
too much shellfish.
356
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,380
No, no, honey.
You know what?
357
00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:45,090
I did some
soul-searching,
358
00:14:45,130 --> 00:14:47,920
and I realized none
of that stuff matters.
359
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,720
You matter. We matter.
360
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,310
Oh. Well, thanks
for saying that.
361
00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:57,770
So? You gonna come back
and be my little
expert witness?
362
00:14:57,810 --> 00:14:59,440
No, I don't think
it's a great idea,
363
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,940
us to be working
together, you know?
Let's just let it go.
364
00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:04,110
No, come on. Do it.
It'll be fun. Do it.
365
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:07,320
I don't wanna.
Yeah, you do.
Come on. Do it.
366
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,030
I'm not gonna do it.
Do it!
367
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,410
What the hell
is your problem?
368
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:16,160
[SIGHS]
OK, here's the deal...
369
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,000
Pruzan wants you back.
What?
370
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:23,340
Yeah, he loved you,
all right? Apparently,
you're an everyman.
371
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,300
The juries eat that up.
372
00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:27,960
Huh!
373
00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,800
Hah!
374
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,850
Well, isn't
that interesting?
375
00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:37,850
Your boss loves me.
Your boss wants me back.
376
00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:39,020
Well, looks like
someone didn't do
377
00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:40,810
any soul-searching
after all.
378
00:15:40,850 --> 00:15:42,230
Come on.
379
00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:45,270
I knew it was
perfectly acceptable
to order jambalaya.
380
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,480
Okay, you know what?
You're right. You're
absolutely right.
381
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:50,780
I am sorry. So, look,
I'll make it up to you.
382
00:15:50,820 --> 00:15:52,030
Name it. What is it?
383
00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:54,070
Strip.
384
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,990
What?
385
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:58,160
That's right,
a little striptease.
386
00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,910
Offy clothesy.
387
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,830
You just pulled that
out of your hat?
388
00:16:02,870 --> 00:16:04,960
Oh, no, I've been savin'
this one for a rainy day
389
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,170
and it's pouring, sister.
390
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:11,170
Well, can't I just
melt some cheese on
something for you?
391
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,430
If that's part
of your act, sure.
392
00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:18,100
Okay.
393
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:20,180
Okay.
394
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,070
Whenever you're ready.
395
00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:30,070
I can't do this
without music.
396
00:16:30,110 --> 00:16:32,070
Okay, fine.
397
00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:34,570
[ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW
THEME SONG PLAYING ON TV]
398
00:16:34,610 --> 00:16:36,030
Come on.
399
00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:38,950
Oh, fine. Let's find
something here.
400
00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:42,080
All right.
How about that?
401
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,290
[SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYING]
402
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,940
[SNARLS]
403
00:17:14,570 --> 00:17:16,490
[SNARLING]
404
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:19,280
Oh, God!
What?
405
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,620
Nail in the eye!
Nail in the eye!
406
00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:23,500
I'm sorry.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
407
00:17:23,540 --> 00:17:25,830
I'm fine, okay?
408
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,540
Look, nice try.
Just keep your day job.
409
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,630
All right.
So, are you gonna
do this for me?
410
00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,340
Yeah, fine.
I'll do it, okay?
411
00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:35,300
Oh, thank you, honey.
You are the best.
412
00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:37,840
Yeah, yeah,
I'm the best, all right?
I'll see you Wednesday.
413
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,390
Wait, no, it's Thursday.
414
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:41,510
Thursday? I can't
do it Thursday.
415
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,310
I'm working
a double route.
416
00:17:43,350 --> 00:17:45,100
Doug, when this
whole thing started,
417
00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:48,310
I specifically
told you to keep
midweek open.
418
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,610
Yeah, midweek
is Wednesday.
419
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:52,530
No, midweek
is Wednesday
or Thursday.
420
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:54,490
Okay, you use
that logic, you gotta
include Tuesday.
421
00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:55,610
Where does it end?
422
00:17:55,650 --> 00:17:57,410
All right. Would you
just do this?!
423
00:17:57,450 --> 00:17:59,240
I'm sorry. What do
you want from me?
I can't.
424
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,580
Oh, my God.
I am totally screwed.
425
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:04,540
Well, I'm sorry.
426
00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:09,210
Wanna go to a strip club?
427
00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:26,940
Okay, um, I have
a question...
428
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,310
Um, what am I
doing here, exactly?
429
00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:31,940
Duh! You're waitin'
for the gasman.
430
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,030
Hello?!
431
00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:36,490
Well, actually,
you both are waiting
for the gasman,
432
00:18:36,530 --> 00:18:38,070
and--and this
is starting to feel--
433
00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:40,530
and I don't want to say
creepy and weird--
434
00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:43,410
but--no, actually,
that's the best way
to describe it,
435
00:18:43,450 --> 00:18:45,040
so I'm just gonna go.
436
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,620
Well, if she's gonna
go, then I'm goin'
back to work.
437
00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:48,080
Well, if you go
to work, then I'm
goin' to bed.
438
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,540
Well, if you
go to bed,
439
00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:52,000
there'll be no one
here to wait
for the gasman.
440
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,500
Oh, but you're
paying me.
441
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,670
So, if you both go,
I'll just stay.
442
00:18:55,710 --> 00:18:58,130
Well, if you're gonna stay,
then I'm not goin' back to work.
443
00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:00,140
Well, if you stay,
then I'm not goin' to bed.
444
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,220
Okay.
445
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:09,480
[PATTERING]
446
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,650
Okay, here's your water.
And I just wanna
thank you again
447
00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:19,200
for bailing me out.
I know I've gone back
and forth on you once or twice.
448
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,110
3 times.
Right, right.
449
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,490
Okay, so this is it,
the big deposition.
450
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:26,120
D-Day.
The important thing is,
451
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,120
just be yourself, an everyman.
452
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,660
Just be real.
453
00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:32,420
Am I not being real right now?
454
00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:34,460
No, no, no.
You're being very real.
455
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,420
You're being very real.
Just keep it up.
456
00:19:37,460 --> 00:19:39,090
I'm gonna go check
and see where they're at.
457
00:19:39,130 --> 00:19:40,680
All right?
I'll be right back.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
458
00:19:41,590 --> 00:19:43,600
Hey!
Hey, honey.
459
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,060
What are you
doing here?
460
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,600
I got a guy to take
my second route.
461
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,310
I did have to
promise him I'd do
his Christmas shift
462
00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:50,310
and name our
first kid after him.
463
00:19:50,350 --> 00:19:53,150
How do you feel
about Umberto
Heffernan?
464
00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:55,020
You did this for me?
465
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,480
Well, look, you needed
an expert witness.
466
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,570
Well, witness
your expert...
467
00:20:00,610 --> 00:20:02,410
witness.
468
00:20:02,450 --> 00:20:04,700
Look at you.
You're in uniform
and everything.
469
00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:06,280
You look
so friggin' real.
470
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,330
[DEACON CLEARS HIS THROAT]
471
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:16,040
I'm a person.
472
00:20:17,670 --> 00:20:19,550
Yes, you are.
473
00:20:19,590 --> 00:20:22,180
I didn't come to you.
You came to me.
474
00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:24,640
I did. I did.
I came to you.
475
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,060
Don't ever come
to me again.
476
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,680
I won't.
477
00:20:31,770 --> 00:20:33,400
Whew.
478
00:20:35,690 --> 00:20:37,320
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
479
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,280
See you at work, guy.
480
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,610
Uh, 2-minute
warning, Carrie.
481
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,660
Oh, okay. Thank you.
482
00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:48,620
All right, honey.
You're gonna be great.
483
00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:50,620
Sorry you had
to go through
all this craziness,
484
00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:53,540
but I'm really glad
you're doing this.
485
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:56,170
Let's light this candle.
Okay.
486
00:21:00,710 --> 00:21:03,680
All right, I think
we're about ready
to get started here.
487
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,470
Have a seat.
488
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,100
Please state your name
and occupation.
489
00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:12,270
Uh, Douglas
Steven Heffernan.
490
00:21:12,310 --> 00:21:16,690
I deliver
for International
Parcel Service.
491
00:21:16,730 --> 00:21:19,820
Mr. Heffernan,
is it your opinion
that the average driver
492
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:22,860
makes on-time delivery
their top priority?
493
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:25,410
Yes.
494
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,080
No further questions.
495
00:21:41,710 --> 00:21:42,800
Great.
496
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,720
You know what?
I'm off right now.
497
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,850
Do you wanna go get
something to eat?
498
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:50,720
Yeah, I'd love that.
499
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,100
Okay.
Bye, guys.
500
00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:53,480
Enjoy your gas.
501
00:21:57,690 --> 00:22:00,940
Ugh, these things are brutal
when they wear off.
502
00:22:02,230 --> 00:22:04,900
Hey, I get two refills. Cool.
503
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,780
[**]
36087
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