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00:00:03,250 --> 00:00:05,750
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:12,510
What up, dawg?
3
00:00:12,550 --> 00:00:14,130
I'm finally cleaning
this thing out.
4
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,680
You know what?
If we're not gonna actually
5
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:16,760
eat the frozen vegetables,
6
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,140
let's stop buying them.
7
00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:20,060
I don't know who
we're trying to impress.
8
00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:24,770
Oh...my God!
9
00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:27,110
Look at this!
10
00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:29,190
What do we got,
a human head?
11
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:30,650
No.
It's the top
12
00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:32,780
of our wedding cake.
13
00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:35,360
I completely forgot
about this.
14
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,240
Wow. Hmm.
15
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,740
That's our wedding cake
from our wedding
16
00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:41,200
when we got married.
17
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,120
Oh, yeah.
We got milk?
18
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:46,460
You can't eat this.
It's over 6 years old.
19
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:48,250
-It's frozen.
-Freezing something
20
00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:49,710
doesn't magically
keep it good
21
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,380
forever and ever.
22
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:53,340
I'm pretty sure
you're wrong.
23
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:54,550
Could you believe
we got married
24
00:00:54,590 --> 00:00:55,720
6 years ago?
25
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,390
Oh, gosh,
it's kinda wild, huh?
26
00:00:58,430 --> 00:00:59,510
Yeah.
27
00:00:59,550 --> 00:01:01,600
That was
a really great time.
28
00:01:04,390 --> 00:01:05,770
[VOMITING]
29
00:01:09,310 --> 00:01:10,520
Hon? Honey?
30
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,730
Honey, you okay?
31
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,230
You okay in there?
Honey--
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CARRIE: [VOMITS]
33
00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:18,530
Carrie's been in there
a while, honey.
34
00:01:18,570 --> 00:01:20,240
-Is she okay?
-Oh, yeah, Ma.
35
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,660
She's just preppin'
for the party,
36
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:22,910
you know, a little rougin',
a little waxin'.
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00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,830
[LAUGHS] It's all good.
38
00:01:25,870 --> 00:01:27,670
May I have
your attention?
39
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,590
A toast.
40
00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:32,340
To Doug and Carrie,
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00:01:32,380 --> 00:01:34,710
may their lives be as grand
as their wedding.
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00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,130
Which, incidentally,
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00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:38,680
I am sparing
no expense for.
44
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,680
That's what Carrie's
late mother wanted
45
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,810
more than anything
in the world.
46
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,520
Next to not dying.
47
00:01:47,310 --> 00:01:48,270
Salud!
48
00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:50,270
-Cheers.
-Salud.
49
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:52,650
Hey, I'd like to, uh,
make a toast, too.
50
00:01:52,690 --> 00:01:54,820
Who the hell are you?
51
00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:56,740
I'm, uh, Danny,
Doug's cousin.
52
00:01:56,780 --> 00:02:00,620
All right, but,
I'm watchin' you.
53
00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:02,410
[CLEARS THROAT]
Doug, I, uh,
54
00:02:02,450 --> 00:02:03,910
love you
like a brother,
55
00:02:03,950 --> 00:02:05,450
and for months,
I've been lookin'
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00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,250
for a gift
that finally tells you
57
00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:10,380
how I feel about you
and I found it.
58
00:02:10,420 --> 00:02:13,420
I'm gonna sing at your
wedding ceremony, buddy.
59
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,800
Wow, singin', huh?
60
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,470
That's nice.
61
00:02:21,510 --> 00:02:24,390
Or if you wanna go
another way, music-wise,
62
00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:27,640
we are registered
for a CD player at The Wiz.
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00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,810
Yeah, but that's
so impersonal.
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00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:32,520
You could engrave it.
65
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:33,820
Come on, Doug.
You can't engrave
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00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:36,230
the human heart.
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00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,400
Okay.
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00:02:39,530 --> 00:02:41,660
[SIGHS]
69
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:43,530
-CARRIE: [VOMITS]
-Oh, God.
70
00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:47,290
Okay, I'm gettin' married
in 3 days,
71
00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:49,210
and my fiancée
can't stop pukin'.
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00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,330
Oh...she's still
at it, huh?
73
00:02:51,370 --> 00:02:52,420
At this rate, she's
gonna open her mouth
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00:02:52,460 --> 00:02:53,670
to say, "I do,"
and rocket
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00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:54,920
a grilled cheese
at my head.
76
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,550
Yeah. Well...
77
00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:57,760
that's the price you pay
78
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,260
for lettin' a little lady
corral you.
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00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:01,630
Yep. No woman's
gonna put a saddle
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00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,260
on this bronco.
81
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,600
Thanks for weighin' in,
Hoss.
82
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,810
Look, man, don't worry
about Carrie throwing up, okay?
83
00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:11,640
She's probably just finally
coming to grips
84
00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:14,860
with the fact that she's
actually marrying you.
85
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,400
-Ha ha ha!
-Ha ha ha--
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00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,690
Shut it.
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00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,700
Hey, hey,
if she does cut and run,
88
00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:22,820
don't send her my way,
all right?
89
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:25,990
I travelsolamente.
90
00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:30,160
[KNOCKING]
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00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,330
JANET:Carrie, it's yourmother-in-law to be.
92
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,500
Can I come in?
93
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:36,670
Sure.
94
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,720
How ya feelin', honey?
95
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,050
I've gotta stop
eating Mexican food.
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00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,970
No es bueno.
97
00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:48,720
[RUNS WATER]
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00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,810
Come here.
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00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:51,890
Oh...
100
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,600
thank you.
101
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,810
Oh, that's good.
That's good.
102
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,400
Thank you.
Thank you.
103
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,440
This isn't
from Mexican food.
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00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:00,740
No?
105
00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:02,610
You know, I went through
this exact same thing
106
00:04:02,650 --> 00:04:03,660
right before my wedding.
107
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,820
-You did?
-Oh, yeah.
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00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,490
I was a wreck.
109
00:04:07,530 --> 00:04:08,540
I mean, you're planning
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00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:09,950
on spending the rest
of your life
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00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,330
with this person.
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00:04:11,370 --> 00:04:13,920
You start wondering,
"Is he cute enough?
113
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,540
Is he funny enough?
114
00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:16,960
Will he be a good father?"
115
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,090
Who wouldn't be sick
to her stomach?
116
00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:21,920
But I totally love Doug.
117
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,010
I mean,
I want to marry him.
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00:04:23,050 --> 00:04:24,630
Everything between us
is perfect.
119
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,050
It's just
this pesky vomiting.
120
00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:30,770
Honey, I'm gonna tell you
the same thing
121
00:04:30,810 --> 00:04:32,560
my mother told me
before my wedding,
122
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,730
and it really took
all my fears away.
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00:04:34,770 --> 00:04:36,440
Oh, good, tell me that thing
because we're meeting
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00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:37,900
with the priest tomorrow
and I really want
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00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:39,440
to be in a good place.
126
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,740
Well, at the end of the day,
127
00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:44,820
all the little things
that may or may not be perfect
128
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:46,030
really don't matter
129
00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:49,330
because when it's right,
you know it.
130
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:51,080
You just know it.
131
00:04:52,830 --> 00:04:54,830
[VOMITING]
132
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,010
Hey, you okay?
133
00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:05,630
-Oh, sure.
-I mean,
134
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,890
'cause you haven't eaten
in 3 days,
135
00:05:06,930 --> 00:05:08,050
you're pukin'
in church--
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I'm fine! I'm fine.
137
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,470
DOUG: Hey!
Father McAndrew!
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00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:12,890
Doug, good to see you.
139
00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:15,560
Good to see you. Gosh,
it's been so long--whoa.
140
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,100
What are you, liftin'?
141
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,730
Oh, a little.
142
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:21,860
Uh, they put a universal in
over at the rectory.
143
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:24,490
Nice guns, padre. Heh.
144
00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:26,030
Uh, this is
my fiancée Carrie.
145
00:05:26,070 --> 00:05:27,490
Hi. Nice to
meet you.
146
00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:29,070
Well, nice to
meet you, too.
147
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,660
You know, I remember Doug
148
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:33,500
when he was just a chubby
little kid at church camp,
149
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:36,710
and now he's marrying
this beautiful girl.
150
00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:39,500
It's...somethin' else.
151
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,960
-All right, sit. Sit.
-Okay.
152
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,470
So...tell me,
153
00:05:45,510 --> 00:05:48,840
have the two of you
thought about your vows?
154
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,050
What do you mean?
155
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,970
Well, some people
like to write their own,
156
00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:54,390
you know, talk about
how they met,
157
00:05:54,430 --> 00:05:55,730
somethin' like that.
158
00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:58,770
Um...actually, we--
we met in a bar.
159
00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:01,400
Um...it was...
160
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,650
Jell-O shot night.
161
00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:04,860
They had, um,
foxy boxing.
162
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:07,030
It's not a great
church story.
163
00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:10,030
Although,
a delightful evening.
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00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,870
[LAUGHS]
165
00:06:11,910 --> 00:06:13,870
Okay, just think about it,
all right?
166
00:06:13,910 --> 00:06:15,750
So, have you brought
the marriage license?
167
00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:17,870
Oh. Oh, yeah.
I've got it right here.
168
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,710
-There you go.
-Okay.
169
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,540
[CHUCKLES]
170
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,420
"Spooner."
171
00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:26,210
Carrie Spooner?
172
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:29,590
We had a Carrie Spooner
in camp one summer.
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00:06:29,630 --> 00:06:32,100
What? The same camp
Doug went to?
174
00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:34,600
No. We didn't go
to the same camp.
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00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,100
You weren't that girl
who was always startin' fights
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00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:39,600
and moonin' truckers
on Route 9?
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00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:43,520
Yes!
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00:06:44,690 --> 00:06:46,030
Camp Unity!
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00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:48,070
I didn't know that that
was a church camp.
180
00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:51,240
I guess that's why they
didn't ask me back.
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00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,120
You know, I actually remember
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00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,950
your last day.
183
00:06:55,990 --> 00:06:58,500
I think you had
a run-in with Doug.
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00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,250
Shut up!
185
00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:01,710
You cheated at
kickball, Carrie.
186
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,130
-Did not!
-Did, too!
187
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:04,920
-Shut up!
-No, you shut up.
188
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,590
-Stop!
-No!You!
189
00:07:06,630 --> 00:07:08,550
-Get--
-Aah!
190
00:07:08,590 --> 00:07:10,760
-Oh!
-[COUGHING]
191
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,090
Oh...you're gross.
192
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:15,180
[COUGHING]
193
00:07:16,510 --> 00:07:17,930
That was Doug?
194
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,140
You're telling me
I fell on Doug?
195
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,600
-Yep.
-This is unbelievable!
196
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,150
Do you
remember this?
197
00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:26,780
Not really, but I got
my armpit hair that summer,
198
00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:28,990
so I was pretty much
wrapped up in me.
199
00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:31,950
Do you know
what this means?
200
00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:33,110
We met as kids.
201
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,700
We met before and
didn't even know it.
202
00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:36,790
It's like we
were meant to be
203
00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:38,040
or something.
204
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,870
Well, I'm all for that.
205
00:07:40,910 --> 00:07:43,250
So, so, so tell me more
about what happened
afterwards.
206
00:07:43,290 --> 00:07:44,880
Did we talk?
207
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,130
Mmm, yes.
208
00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:48,130
Uh, some words were exchanged.
209
00:07:48,170 --> 00:07:50,670
And then Doug started to cry.
210
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,930
Oh, my God!
211
00:07:52,970 --> 00:07:55,140
We actually spoke
to each other?
212
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:56,850
This is so great!
213
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:03,520
Morning, all!
214
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:04,600
-Morning!
-Morning!
215
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,940
I trust you
like your juice
216
00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:07,400
from concentrate.
217
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,320
Oh. Thank you,
Arthur.
218
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,360
I'll just place it here.
219
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,610
Enjoy it when you're ready.
220
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,990
You know, I've been thinkin'
about this wedding.
221
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,700
I don't want to take all
the glory for myself.
222
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:20,910
You're entitled.
223
00:08:20,950 --> 00:08:22,370
You are the father
of the bride.
224
00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:23,960
So her mother claimed.
225
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,420
Still...
226
00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:30,460
I'd like to include you
both in the process.
227
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,300
Oh, well, thank you.
228
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:33,590
We should throw a big party
229
00:08:33,630 --> 00:08:36,180
for Carrie and Doug
every year
230
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:38,010
and switch off paying.
231
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,430
How about you two
pay this year?
232
00:08:45,230 --> 00:08:47,980
Uh... Arthur,
do you need some help
233
00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:49,230
paying for the wedding?
234
00:08:49,270 --> 00:08:51,110
Well, I must admit,
I'm a little short
235
00:08:51,150 --> 00:08:53,990
on liquid assets
right now.
236
00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,530
How much
do you need?
237
00:08:55,570 --> 00:08:57,240
All of it.
238
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:02,410
Hmm...
239
00:09:02,450 --> 00:09:03,710
Well, you know what?
240
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:06,210
Joe and I would be happy
to pay for the wedding.
241
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:08,540
What just happened here?
242
00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:11,550
I'm not sure about this.
243
00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:15,130
Carrie would be very
disappointed in me...
244
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,510
if she knew.
245
00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:19,010
Well, don't worry.
Nobody needs to know.
246
00:09:19,050 --> 00:09:21,640
As far as anyone else
is concerned,
247
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,310
you are still paying
for everything.
248
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,440
I will pay you back
with interest!
249
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,980
Actually, interest seems
a little over the top.
250
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,650
Anyway, it was
a pleasure discussing
251
00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:35,700
the Monroe Doctrine
252
00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:38,410
with the two of you.
Good day.
253
00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:40,450
So how did your meeting go
with Father McAndrew?
254
00:09:40,490 --> 00:09:42,160
Oh, it was great.
He's all pumped up.
255
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,450
He's like
the Catholic Hulk.
256
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,370
Rahhh...
257
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,460
He was always interested
in physical fitness.
258
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,000
Yeah. Oh,
and this is weird, too:
259
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,420
He said he remembered
that me and Carrie met
260
00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:53,510
when we were kids.
261
00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:54,630
No kidding.
262
00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,420
It was the summer of '77.
263
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,590
Apparently we went to
church camp together.
264
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,220
Carrie got into a fight
with someone
265
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:02,810
and fell on me,
and I choked.
266
00:10:02,850 --> 00:10:04,520
It's a whole sweet story.
267
00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:07,310
Wait, wait, wait.
268
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:08,600
That didn't happen to you.
That happened to me.
269
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,440
-What?
-Yeah.
270
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,400
Some girl fell on me
at Camp Unity.
271
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,360
I choked, then I cried,
then I got a Bomb Pop.
272
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:18,660
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
273
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:20,160
Father McAndrew
said it was me,
274
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,490
said he remembered
yelling "Heffernan."
275
00:10:21,530 --> 00:10:23,080
My name is Heffernan.
276
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,330
Actually, the summer
of '77,
277
00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:25,660
you weren't
at Camp Unity, Doug.
278
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,540
That was the year
you went to Fat Camp.
279
00:10:27,580 --> 00:10:29,170
Football camp.
280
00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:38,550
Hey, Coach,
when do we play football?
281
00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:39,760
Just keep runnin'.
282
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,470
Oh...
283
00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:45,680
DANNY:
Yeah, Carrie fell
on me, not you.
284
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,560
Hey, heh, maybe me and Carrie
should be gettin' married
285
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,690
and you should be singing
at our wedding, huh?
286
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,270
That was Fat Camp?
287
00:10:56,610 --> 00:10:58,450
I wanted to tell ya.
288
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:03,070
[***]
289
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,370
Hey, amigo.
290
00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:05,700
Hey, man,
how's it going?
291
00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:08,120
Great! You know,
spreadin' my wings,
292
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,120
enjoying my freedom.
293
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,210
What brings you here?
294
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,460
Carrie asked me
to meet her here.
295
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:12,670
Oh, well, welcome
296
00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:15,800
to the rest
of your life, Fido. Heh.
297
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,260
All right.
298
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:19,170
Hi, sweetie!
299
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,220
Hey, bridesmaids, huh?
300
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:22,800
Bride's pit crew.
301
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,220
[IMITATES DRILL]
302
00:11:24,260 --> 00:11:25,720
-Okay, okay. Okay!
-Go!
303
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,390
You're just in time.
I was just about
304
00:11:27,430 --> 00:11:29,560
to tell them
how-we-met-at-camp story.
305
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,230
Oh, you know what the funny
thing about that story--
306
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:32,520
Let me tell it, okay?
307
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:33,770
So I'm up
in the bleachers,
308
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:35,270
I'm fighting
with this skank.
309
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,440
She pushes me.
I fall on this boy,
310
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,530
and it turns out,
this boy...
311
00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:40,570
is Doug.
312
00:11:40,610 --> 00:11:41,780
-[GASP]
-Shut up.
313
00:11:41,820 --> 00:11:42,910
CARRIE: Mm-hmm.
314
00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,820
We actually met as kids
315
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,450
and didn't even know it!
316
00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,240
-Okay, I have chills.
-Oh, my God, so do I.
317
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,410
Oh, my God, I don't
'cause it's a dumb story.
318
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,500
Excuse me.
319
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:52,750
That dumb story
got rid
320
00:11:52,790 --> 00:11:54,420
of all my
wedding jitters.
321
00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:56,290
It was like I was
totally freaking out,
322
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:58,460
we go to the church,
and the priest
323
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:02,430
just hands me this...
this sign from God.
324
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:04,760
Total sign
from God.
325
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,760
And you just know.
326
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,600
You just know.
327
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,600
Right, sweetie?
328
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,400
You know it.
329
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:14,770
So, apparently, this camp
story's the only thing
330
00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:15,900
that keeps Carrie
from barfin'
331
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:17,270
at the thought
of marryin' me,
332
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,570
and it's not even true.
333
00:12:18,610 --> 00:12:19,780
Right, right.
I see your problem.
334
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,700
Are there any more
Bugles in there?
335
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,780
Here. So what do I do?
336
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:24,820
I mean,
do I tell her the truth,
337
00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:26,320
or do I
just leave it alone?
338
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:27,330
Leave it alone.
339
00:12:27,370 --> 00:12:28,540
Yeah, but
if I leave it alone,
340
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:29,830
that's the first lie
of our marriage.
341
00:12:29,870 --> 00:12:32,160
I mean, I know
there'll be others.
342
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,500
This just kicks it off so early.
343
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,210
Leave it alone.
344
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,630
[SIGHS]
345
00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:41,670
What are you sayin', that
Carrie's so out of my league
346
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,430
that I can only get her
to marry me on a lie?
347
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,720
Just leave it alone.
348
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,470
-I can't believe you.
-DEACON: Oh, come on, man.
349
00:12:49,510 --> 00:12:50,770
It's not a big deal.
350
00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:52,480
I mean, women
are just different.
351
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,390
They need to think
there's some magic fairy dust
352
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,980
sprinkled over everything.
353
00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:57,610
See, all a man needs to know
354
00:12:57,650 --> 00:13:01,480
is that he's getting something
"special" on his birthday.
355
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,780
Just leave it alone
and let her believe.
356
00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:05,490
I guess.
357
00:13:05,530 --> 00:13:06,780
Wait a second,
after you're married,
358
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,620
it's not just
on your birthday, is it?
359
00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:11,540
You'll see.
360
00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:14,460
Oh. I gotta roll.
361
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,420
Oh. Oh, wait, man.
I got your best man gift
362
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:17,630
right here. Hold on.
363
00:13:17,670 --> 00:13:18,880
Here you go.
364
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,260
It's a flask.
365
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,220
Okay.
366
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,840
-You don't like it?
-No, it's great.
367
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,680
I mean, if I ever develop
a serious drinking problem,
368
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,640
I'll, uh...
369
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,600
I'll get good use
outta this thing.
370
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,270
But they told me
it was the classic
371
00:13:34,310 --> 00:13:35,690
best man gift.
If you don't like it,
372
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:37,810
take it up with Manny
at the House of Pewter.
373
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:40,820
Look, I love it, okay?
Look, I'll see you tomorrow.
374
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,530
WOMAN: Okay, Mr. Spooner,
375
00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:44,940
let's review
your choices.
376
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,910
Now, the reception
will start
377
00:13:46,950 --> 00:13:48,370
with a raw oyster bar
378
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,370
and an assortment
of appetizers.
379
00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,700
The main course
will be prime rib,
380
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:53,870
and for dessert
381
00:13:53,910 --> 00:13:55,710
we have individual
creme brules
382
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:58,830
served with a raspberry
and plum reduction.
383
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,380
Wonderful.
384
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,670
I would also like to
add a traveling cart
385
00:14:02,710 --> 00:14:06,550
with a selection of rare
single-malt scotches.
386
00:14:07,590 --> 00:14:08,840
WOMAN: Okay, but just
so you know,
387
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,850
that'll be pretty expensive.
388
00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:14,350
This is my daughter's wedding!
Money is no object!
389
00:14:15,350 --> 00:14:16,520
Right?
390
00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:25,690
DEACON: Hey, how
you feelin', eh?
391
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,450
You feelin' ready?
You feelin' good?
392
00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,110
I'd feel a lot better
if my future wife
393
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,030
didn't need a fake sign
from God to marry me.
394
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,910
Come on, man.
We already talked about this.
395
00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:35,200
Hey, I know
what'll make you smile.
396
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:36,750
Check this out.
397
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,920
Mm...mmm!
398
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,220
Flask-a-licious.
399
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,260
What are you, drunk?
400
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,010
No, no. See, I'm
cheering you up,
401
00:14:52,050 --> 00:14:54,010
telling you how much
I like your flask.
402
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,350
Whatever.
You're actin' drunk.
403
00:14:56,390 --> 00:14:58,890
Dude, it's Snapple.
404
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,440
You know what?
I don't like the gift.
405
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,980
The only reason why
I still have it
406
00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:03,940
is because Manny
wouldn't take it back.
407
00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:06,360
Hello, Douglas.
408
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,900
I don't mean
to alarm you two,
409
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:11,110
but, apparently,
the doves are a no-show.
410
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,830
Arthur,
we canceled the doves.
411
00:15:13,870 --> 00:15:15,080
I don't understand.
412
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,950
Things were getting
just a little expensive
413
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,040
for us.
414
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,330
But this wedding
has to be perfect.
415
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:21,290
Carrie's mother
wanted it that way.
416
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:25,000
-We know.
-She's dead, you remember?
417
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:26,420
Yes.
418
00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:29,340
Arthur, we are paying
for everything.
419
00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:30,880
Do you understand that?
420
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,010
Do you understand that
perhaps it was poor judgment
421
00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:35,890
to get the harpist
andthe doves
422
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:38,350
andthe T-shirt machine?!
423
00:15:38,390 --> 00:15:39,730
I knew it!
424
00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:41,730
I knew you would
rub this in my face.
425
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,980
How very small.
426
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,360
Your parents
are a real piece of work!
427
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:49,990
JOE: Oh, don't blame us!
You're the one who--
428
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:51,030
Joe! Zip it!
429
00:15:51,070 --> 00:15:52,320
Everybody!
Everybody, please,
430
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,740
just give me
a few minutes alone, okay?
431
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:54,950
Please.
432
00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:56,330
-Of course, sweetheart.
-DOUG: Okay.
433
00:15:56,370 --> 00:15:58,290
We'll be waiting for you
in the sanctuary.
434
00:15:58,330 --> 00:15:59,410
Okay, Mom. Thanks.
435
00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:01,790
-Break a leg.
-Thanks, Dad. Okay?
436
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,380
Hey, seriously, man,
I love the flask.
437
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,500
Oh, come on.
Bring it in.
438
00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:06,460
All right.
439
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,250
You smell like vodka.
440
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,380
There's a little bit
in there,
441
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:10,920
but I'm cool.
I'm cool.
442
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:19,430
Oh.
443
00:16:19,470 --> 00:16:20,770
Isn't this my room?
444
00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:23,060
No. It's--
it's my room.
445
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:24,310
CARRIE: Oh! You're not
supposed to see me.
446
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,400
No, no. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
447
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,230
Oh, my God, you...
448
00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:29,480
you look beautiful.
449
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,780
I know. I really do,
don't I?
450
00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:34,780
Oh, my God, you're so lucky
you're marrying me.
451
00:16:35,450 --> 00:16:37,030
I know.
452
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,410
Oh, listen, just to
give you a heads-up,
453
00:16:38,450 --> 00:16:40,120
I changed the vows
I wrote.
454
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,330
-What?
-Yeah.
455
00:16:41,370 --> 00:16:42,830
I had all this
stuff in there
456
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:44,250
about how much I love
you, blah blah blah.
457
00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:45,830
But I'm thinkin'
I'm gonna go
458
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,420
with the how-we-met-
at-camp story.
459
00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:48,500
I wrote it all out.
460
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,420
It's money.
461
00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:52,880
I don't know if I'm lovin'
that story for our wedding.
462
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:54,510
What? Why not?
It's a great story.
463
00:16:54,550 --> 00:16:57,260
I don't know. I mean,
you're fallin', I'm chokin'.
464
00:16:57,300 --> 00:17:00,600
You know, it's very violent.
We got kids out there, Carr.
465
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,430
I'm just sayin',
I think you're better off
466
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,940
goin' with the love-me,
blah-blah-blah stuff.
467
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,230
It'd be very touching.
468
00:17:06,270 --> 00:17:09,520
Nah. I'm gonna stick
with the camp thing.
469
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,940
O-okay...you can't.
470
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:12,940
What?
471
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,450
Why? What's the matter?
472
00:17:14,490 --> 00:17:15,990
It's just I don't think
you should go changing
473
00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:18,070
our marriage vows
'cause of a stupid story.
474
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,160
All right, Doug, stop
calling it stupid, okay?
475
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,450
It's fate.
It's a sign from God.
476
00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:24,120
DANNY: *For so long*
477
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,960
*You and me beenfindin' each other*
478
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,460
*For so long...*
479
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:30,130
What the hell is that?
480
00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:32,130
DANNY: *That I feelfor you is*
481
00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:34,300
*More than strong, girl*
482
00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:37,050
*Take it from me...*
483
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,550
Why is Danny singing?
484
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,310
It's his gift to us.
485
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:42,930
I just don't understand
why you need
486
00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:45,060
a sign from God
so badly.
487
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:46,980
Because, Doug,
488
00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:48,860
gettin' married
is scary, you know?
489
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:49,980
You're supposed
to just know
490
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:51,570
if it's right, and...
491
00:17:51,610 --> 00:17:53,150
what better way to know
492
00:17:53,190 --> 00:17:54,490
than to have God
actually tell you?
493
00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:56,280
DANNY: *Watch itand see...*
494
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,070
What's he doing
out there, Andy Gibb?
495
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:00,330
I'm just sayin',
I don't think we need a sign
496
00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:03,080
to tell us that we're
right for each other.
497
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,580
But we have one
anyway, right?
498
00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:07,120
We don't! We don't!
499
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,000
What?
500
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,540
It wasn't me, okay?
501
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,170
I was at another camp
that summer.
502
00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:14,460
I was at f-f-f-
football camp.
503
00:18:16,050 --> 00:18:18,340
You didn't fall on me.
You fell on Danny.
504
00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:21,180
So, look,
if you wanna marry me,
505
00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:23,180
you've gotta take
a leap of faith.
506
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,560
You know, no meant-to-bes,
no destinies,
507
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,520
no signs, no nothin'.
508
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,190
It's me.
509
00:18:29,230 --> 00:18:31,650
It's just...me.
510
00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:34,070
And isn't that...
511
00:18:34,110 --> 00:18:36,030
all you need?
512
00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:40,030
[GAGGING]
513
00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:42,280
[WEDDING MUSIC PLAYING]
514
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:45,950
McANDREW: And now it's time
for Doug and Carrie
515
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,920
to share the vows that
they've written for each other.
516
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,380
Carrie, we'll begin
with you.
517
00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:55,170
-Um...
-You know what? I'll go first.
518
00:18:56,130 --> 00:18:57,050
Okay.
519
00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:59,380
We'll begin with Doug.
520
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,340
[CLEARS THROAT]
521
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,510
"Carrie, when I sat down
to write these vows,
522
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,390
"I was trying to think
of how to express
523
00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:09,940
"exactly what
you mean to me...
524
00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:13,570
"and I guess the best
way to say it is...
525
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,320
you're seconds."
526
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:18,570
"Allow me to...
527
00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:20,950
"explain.
528
00:19:20,990 --> 00:19:23,070
"It probably won't come
as a surprise to you
529
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,580
that I like to think
of my life
530
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:27,290
as a big, long meal."
531
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:29,660
"All the great things
that happened
532
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,750
before I met you--
"my family, my friends,
533
00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:35,170
Bruce Springsteen,
The Mets--
534
00:19:35,210 --> 00:19:37,710
"they were
my first course.
535
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,590
"But I was, as usual,
536
00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:43,180
still hungry."
537
00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:45,600
"And then I met you.
538
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,180
"You are my seconds.
539
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,020
"And I know
it's hard to believe
540
00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:52,190
I'd stop at seconds,
541
00:19:52,230 --> 00:19:55,980
"but you're so great
and I love you so much,
542
00:19:56,020 --> 00:20:00,610
I'm finally,
totally full."
543
00:20:02,530 --> 00:20:05,620
I guess what
I'm trying to say is,
544
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:07,200
I love you.
545
00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:13,460
And it's good to be with you
546
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,170
and good luck to you.
547
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,630
Thank you.
548
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,220
And, now,
Carrie has some words
549
00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:25,010
that she'd like to share.
550
00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:31,520
Oh...
551
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,650
I'm an idiot.
552
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:38,530
For the past couple days
I convinced myself that...
553
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:42,490
I needed a sign from God
to marry you, but...
554
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:44,030
I don't need that.
555
00:20:45,530 --> 00:20:49,580
My sign is...
the way you make me laugh.
556
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:54,120
My sign is the way
you make me feel safe.
557
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:57,500
My sign is the way I fit
perfectly under your arm
558
00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:59,340
when we're on the couch.
559
00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:04,260
I know you can't be sure
of anything in life,
560
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:07,680
but looking at you now
with your puppy-dog eyes
561
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,180
and your shiny shoes
that I know you can't wait
562
00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:11,730
to get out of,
563
00:21:12,810 --> 00:21:14,730
that we were meant
to be together.
564
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:24,360
McANDREW: May Doug and Carrie
see long and happy days
565
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,780
and be united forever in
the Kingdom of your glory.
566
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,290
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
567
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,830
You may kiss the bride.
568
00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:40,590
DANNY: *For so long*
569
00:21:40,630 --> 00:21:43,380
*You and me beenfindin' each other*
570
00:21:43,420 --> 00:21:46,550
*For so long*
571
00:21:46,590 --> 00:21:48,680
SINGER: *...what I feelfor you is*
572
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,720
*More than strong, girl*
573
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,810
*Take it from me*
574
00:21:52,850 --> 00:21:55,350
*If you give a little morethan you're askin' for*
575
00:21:55,390 --> 00:21:57,560
*Your lovewill turn the key*
576
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,230
*Darlin' mine*
577
00:21:59,270 --> 00:22:00,610
I'm so lonely.
578
00:22:00,650 --> 00:22:03,360
SINGER:
*I would wait forever*
579
00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:09,200
-I'm hungry.
-Shut up.
580
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,910
I want everyone to go long.
581
00:22:10,950 --> 00:22:12,080
Ready, break!
582
00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:15,960
CAMP COUNSELOR:
22! 22! Hike!
583
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,920
[KIDS CLAMORING]
584
00:22:21,710 --> 00:22:23,170
[EXHALES]
585
00:22:24,670 --> 00:22:26,010
Keep goin'!
586
00:22:26,050 --> 00:22:27,800
All the way to the lake!
587
00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:40,230
[**]
40081
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