All language subtitles for Speechless (2016) - S01E08 - R-A-Y-C-- RAY-CATION_track3_[eng]

Good morning, DiMeos.

Mysterious.
You have my interest.

These are
the Channel Islands.

There are eight of them --
Santa Cruz, Anacapa --

-You lost my interest.
-Oh, no, let him finish, Jimmy.

Go on about the map, darling.
Where's the treasure?

My class is taking a trip
to the Channel Islands.

A week of peace and relaxation
I desperately need.

A Ray-cation, if you will.

-That's clever.
-Thanks.

Not write-it-on-your-hand
clever.

-(laughs)
-There's one problem.

The boat leaves at 8:00 a.m.
sharp, no exceptions.

So, my question.

Can we please,
for once in our lives,

be on time for something?

Tomorrow?
No, I need more time than that.

The field trip
is in a month.
Oh.

If we wait a month, someone else
could find the treasure.

Do you know what?
I'm offended.

I mean, of course we'll get you
to your field trip on time.

Don't worry.
-Thank you.

And if we're a few minutes late,
big deal, they'll wait.

No, we have to be on time.

I want practice runs.

With enough preparation,
we can do this.

Okay,
we'll do practice runs.

Geez, Ray, we're not even late
that often.

We're late for school
right now.

Yeah, he wrote that
on his hand, too.

See, that's my kind
of presentation.

**

-- Captions by VITA --

**

Let's go, people!

We need to take
these practice runs seriously

if I'm gonna get
to my field trip on time.

-How much time do we have?
-Three minutes.

Gotcha.
Just gonna take a quick bath.

No baths!

Mom, you said you'd be out here
ten minutes ago!

I'm getting JJ dressed,
okay?

JJ's right here!

Okay, fine.
I was doing a maze.

The monkey found the bananas.

Finally!
Three down, two to go.

I forgot
my sack of marbles.

Are you from The Depression?

Okay, Dad,
can we just go now?

Hey, whole family
has to do the practice runs,

'cause we all want to
see you off for your trip.

Okay, now we're just
waiting on Mom.

Mom!

And the boat left.

I give us a B-plus.

(school bell rings)

Dude, there's Claire.

You asked her out
over a week ago.

When are you gonna set up
that date?

"She was
just being nice."

Would you stop with that?
I'm telling you that --

Hey, JJ.

Don't kill me.

I know we were supposed to see
Rocky together,

but I watched it
over Thanksgiving.

Sorry.

Yeah, my family had it on,
and I couldn't say no.

And I loved it.

I am in your hands.

Whatever movie you pick next,
that's what we're watching.

**

(door opens)

Christmas is coming!

Are we doing it?

Time for my little psychic
to tell me

which toy
every kid will have to have.

So we can hoard them,
jack up the price,

and fleece desperate schmucks
who can't tell their kids no.

I'm sorry.
I just love this time of year.

24 hours
with these puppies,

and I'll come back
with your winner.

Right there.
That's why you're my favorite.

Back here, doing homework.

Yeah, you are.

**

Mr. and Mrs. DiMeo?
We have big news.

"I like a girl."

Good for you, Kenneth.
Go to her.

JJ likes a girl.

-No! Really?
-Hang on!

Yeah, that's right.

She's coming over Friday
to watch a movie.

That's amazing!

It is not amazing.
It is normal.

Don't say "normal."
Say "typical."

Son, that is typical.

That doesn't feel
like anything.

Tell us about her.
What's she like?

Is she hot?

-She's a child!
-Oh, fine.

"She is hot."

Nice.

Oh, we're so excited.

We knew it was
only a matter of time.

Oh, it's finally happening!

It's finally happening.

We knew it was only
a matter of time.

I don't want JJ
to get his heart broken, Jimmy.

And it would take a very special
girl to be with him.

And she's hot.

What are the chances
she's hot and special?

-I mean, you are.
-Yeah, yeah.

I want to help him,
like I do with everything else.

But this is different.

I can't exactly yell at that
girl to make her love him.

No, you can't.

What if I yell
at the mother?

Maya!

**

No.

(exhales sharply)

RAY:
You've lost your touch.

You're too old to tell
which of these is fun.

No. That's not the problem.
They're all fun.

A dog that poops, fun.

Big Top Junie?

Who wouldn't want a clown doll
that laughs for no reason?

(doll laughing)

Read the room, Junie!

My powers and my childhood --
they've left me.

I guess it's time to experience
the joys of womanhood.

Do you know
what night Scandal's on?

How are you gonna tell Dad?

It's your special thing
with him.

And that smile he gets?

It's time!

There it is.

So?

Which one's gonna be
the hot toy this year?

**

It's her, Big Top Junie.

She has won my heart.

Amazing, Dylan.

See, I-I look at this,
and I think, "This is awful.

No one's gonna want this."

And yet, off I go
to buy a dozen.

That's vision.

What are you thinking?

Shut up, Ray.

(doll laughing)
Oh, it laughs, too?

Aah! I hate it!

Ugh!

**

(humming)

We snuck in the back

'cause we didn't want to
disturb JJ on his date.

Aw, you're
making him a snack.

Uh, no.
Oh, good idea, though.

No, I'm giving him
his space.

JJ can't put the moves on her
if I'm in there.

Are you kidding?

He can't put the moves on her
unless you're in there.

Citizen Kane was good.

But what did it say on the sled?
I couldn't read it.

MAYA: Oh, God.

It's like a Richard Pryor/
Gene Wilder movie.

What were you thinking?

I didn't want to
crowd them.

I wanted things
to progress naturally.

Do you see a lot of things
progressing naturally with JJ?

Does he progress naturally
from the house to the car?

Does food progress naturally
to his mouth?

I'm seeing your point,
but your tone is unwelcome.

Listen,
you make a good sandwich,

but as a wingman for JJ,
you kind of suck.

Seriously though,
amazing sandwich.

(gasps)
I know how I can help him!

All this time
I've been worried

about JJ getting
his heart broken,

but his biggest challenge is
simply the act of dating.

It's an accessibility
issue.

I can do that. I've been
doing that his whole life.

JJ needs a ramp
to this girl's --
Heart.

That is so sweet.
I was gonna say "boobs."

Hi, darling.

"Her ride's here.

Get the door?"

Mommy's gonna help you with
your love life, darling.

"Ew."

With all due respect, the night
went better than you think.

JJ might be about
to get his first kiss.

(door opens)

Later, gator.

(door closes)

Just a little help?

"Please,
please, please?"

Please, please?

The last two were mine.

Let's go,
let's go, let's go!

-What about my breakfast?
-No time, here!

Can't find my pants.

-No time!
-Huh?

(tires screech)

Cut through that alley!

(tires screech)

I feel like Vin Diesel!

Ooh, JJ's trying
to say something.

W-H-E -- "Whee!"

We got this!
We got this!

Ooh, that store
sells Big Top Junie.
Pull over!

(tires screech)

Hey, watch it!

(tires screech)

(sighs)

And the boat left.

JJ faces some challenges

in his quest to woo
this young lady.

Romance blooms
in the garden of spontaneity.

A perfectly timed
word of affection,

a well-timed kiss.

Are you gonna be doing
all those things?

Wrong!

With our help, you will do
everything on your date

to make this girl
fall in love with you

and live
happily ever after.

Now, what issues
are we facing?

No hot tub, huh?

I don't want to hear
why you think

a hot tub is essential
to seduction, Kenneth.

It's not something you tell.
It's something you show.

And you ain't invited.

There is positioning
that needs to happen.

Initiating a kiss
is a tough nut to crack.

It is not a Mummy kiss,

which is so easy.

Mwah!

You run a weird meeting,
dear.

JJ's date is going to be
like Disneyland.

It will appear effortless,
but behind the scenes

it will be preparation,
work, and precision.

Are you in?

Are you sure you don't want to
just borrow my hot tub?

Ah, you're here.

Sit in this.
Put this on.

Your brother's
going to seduce you.

Really? You're not gonna
resist that at all?

-It's nice to feel wanted.
-Mm.

JJ, your date is here.

Oh, you look nice!

"Thanks.
You look nice, too."

Oh, confident!

Ah, so she has to be
right next to you.

Yes.
Stay in character.

And you're watching
the movie.

You had me at hello.
Claire is eating her olives.

I don't like olives.

Claire does.
Eat the olives.

MAYA: And Claire goes
to the bathroom.

Pit stop!

**

And Claire!

(toilet flushes)

Claire!

-Dude, where were you?
-I actually had to go.

Okay,
the movie's about over.

This is the time when Claire's
gonna give you that look.

What look?
The look that says,

"Kenneth, please take me
to your hot tub."

And you know what to do when
she gives you that look, right?

(groans)

You get the idea.

-We are go.
-Copy.

(airhorn sounding)

What is that?

Clear.
(airhorn stops)

So smooth!

And that is how you do it,
people!

Well done.
-Sensational.

-Nice work.
-Yes.

All that, and you can't get me
to a field trip on time?

**

Good news.

My eBay store
just opened,

and the Big Top Junies
are flying off the shelves.

Somebody
just bought five.

-Really? Who?
-Astronomyguy57 something.

Anyway, I got to go
ship these guys out.

I'm Astronomyguy57802!

You used my account
to go buy those dolls?

Do you have any idea how much
that man charges for shipping?

Relax.
I'll pay you back.

Yeah, well how do you think
Dad's gonna feel

when he finds out
his little lucky charm

is pulling a fast one
on him?

What do you want, Ray?

Your full cooperation
on our next dry run.

Done, but only because I support
you leaving for a week.

Hurtful.
I'll take it.

-Miss Watson...
-What do you want?

Could you come out and give me
a hand with EMERAC, please?
Look, Sumner --

I get my casts off soon,

and then it's back to training,
training, training.

Kind of wish I could put off
gymnastics for a little while.

"I could break your arm."

(laughs)

Not a lot of guys
could make that sound sweet.

(both laugh)

Uh, is the bathroom
over there?

Cool.

**

"Do you have to watch?

It's weird."

No, it's not weird,
darling.

It's a sensual Disneyland.

Are you feeling
any vibe?

Are you ready
to go for the kiss?

"I can't tell.
It was easier with Ray."

Not all girls
are as easy as your brother.

We'll give you the signal

when it's time
to give us the signal.

(toilet flushes)
She's coming!

(door opens)

My mom texted.

She'll be here soon.

Oh, yeah,
that's the green light.

What?

This has been really fun.

-Is that the green light?
-I'm not sure.

My God, yes!

You think everything is
the green light, hot tub man.

"I had fun too."

I feel like not a lot of people
get to do this.

It's nice.

-The signal!
-It's go time.

(airhorn sounding)

What is that?

Clear.
(airhorn stops)

That was weird.

(cellphone chirps)

Oh, my mom's here.

See you later, JJ.

Yeah, huh?
Movies are fun, right?

(door opens)

What happened?

JIMMY:
"You were watching.

I couldn't do it
without you.

I couldn't do it
with you."

Safe to say this date
was not normal or typical.

How's my right, darling?

All clear, honey.

I can't believe it!
We're gonna make it on time.

Early, even.

We should stop
for breakfast.

Well,
let's not get cocky.

-Breakfast sounds lovely.
-"We've earned it."

No, no, no, no, no!

And the boat left.

I give up.

Does that mean your pancakes
are up for grabs?

Yeah, good call.

You promised you wouldn't
mess up the dry run!

I know,
but here's the thing.

I was lying.

Well, if you don't want me
to tell Dad about the toy,

then I have some demands.

I can't live like this.

Dad?
I've lost my touch.

I played with the toys,
and I didn't like them.

I'm too old.

I'm not your
psychic little girl anymore.

You pretended
to like Big Top Junie?

Why?

I wanted you
to still think I was special.

You don't have to like some toy
to be special to me.

You're special
just being you.

That's what
parents of murderers say.
Yeah.

I ruined our tradition,

and I probably cost you
a lot of money

with those cackling,
freakish clowns.

Look, don't worry
about the money.

I'm the adult.
You just relax, kiddo.

You're special.

You don't have to kill anybody,
but you're special.

Seriously,
I was only able to find

a few of those dolls
anyway.

Thanks, Dad.

**

(dolls laughing)

This is why
people save receipts.

Oh! I love this!

They get back together
in the end.

Ah! That's why they call it
a spoiler, isn't it?

Is Claire
coming back soon?

No?

Oh, darling.
(TV shuts off)

I'm sorry.
I went a bit overboard.

I don't know
if you've noticed --

I sometimes do that.

"Hey, you helped me
score with Ray."

(laughs)

Yeah.
I was thinking.

Next time,
you should be east of the girl.

That way, her lips
would be pointing west --

"We tried the best version
of what you'd do.

Next time
I'll try what I'd do."

So, I'm just gonna
leave it to you?

But that is
so hard for me.

"I believe in you."

(chuckles)

(TV turns on)

Oh, he dies.

**

(gasps)
Channel Islands!

"Can we talk?"

I kind of need to rest up
for my trip.

What is it?

"Claire texted me.

She gets her cast off
tomorrow."

Can we celebrate
in the morning?

"I won't see her as much.

I never told her
I like her."

I wish I could tell you
what to do.

"I know.

I need to tell her
A-L- alone.

But I don't know how
to get to the hospital."

I can actually help
with that.

**

Come on.

You think I'd leave the fate
of Ray-cation in Mom's hands?

I spent my life savings
on this car service.

So, we'll drop you off
at the hospital where Claire is,

and then I'll get to the boat
in plenty of time.

"Can we stop
for breakfast?"

(chuckles)

Ray? Ray, come on.
Let's go.

Ray overslept?

On the day of the big field trip
he was so worried about?

(chuckles) That is
some classic dramatic irony.

What?
I went to college.

-Ray?
-JJ!

They left.

Ray took JJ to the hospital
to profess his love to Claire.

They thought
I was asleep.

They always talk girls
when they think I'm asleep.

The things they would do
to Emma Watson.

We have to warn her.

**

JJ!
What are you doing here?

"You can go anywhere
in a hospital

when you're
in a wheelchair."

(chuckles)

Oh, is that for me?

Oh.

"I wanted to do this
in a more subtle way,

but it turns out
I can't really do subtle.

So, I am just going to
tell you how I feel.

I really like you, Claire.

You're smart, funny,

and I hope you feel
the same way about me."

Did you know the Channel Islands
have their own species of fox?

Of course I knew that.

Oh.

Okay, we should go.

Hey, how'd it go?

Oh, man, I'm sorry.
Are you okay?

Mr. DiMeo, we should go.

(sighs)

"You'll be late."

There's been
a change of plans.

Yeah, they left the hospital.
They're headed west.

They must be on a bus?

Where are they going?

Ooh, these things don't actually
see into the future.

Oh, why did
I encourage this?

JJ wasn't ready.

Now he's gonna get
his heart broken,

and I'm not even there.

RAY: And then one time,
I told a girl that I liked her,

and she said, "Sorry,
but I'm not a lesbian."

(laughs)

You don't have to laugh
that hard.

It was the summer
I let Mom layer my hair.

And, of course,
you know about Jillian.

I know what it's like
to put yourself out there

and have it not work out.

"How do you get over it?"

I did all I could do.
At least I have no regrets.

"To no R-E-- 'regrets.'"

(bottles clink)

You know what?

High school girls just
aren't mature enough for us.

Our time
will be in college.

Grad school
at the latest.

All right, according to this,
they are...in the ocean?

-What?
-Sorry, near the ocean.

-No, I-I overreacted.
-There they are!

Oh, he needs his mother.

No, wait.

He seems...fine.

He actually looks happy.

Looks like with a little help
from the people he loves,

he's strong enough to handle
whatever life throws his way.

What are you
even looking at?

Ray and JJ are over there.

Damn sun ruined my moment.

Are we just gonna sit here,
or are we gonna go get 'em?

Let's give them a moment.

**

Oh, I wish I could hear
what they're saying.

Damn,
Emma Watson's hot.

At last, Ray-cation.

See? It's easy to mock
when you're outside the tub.

But 112 degrees later,
they all believe.

Oh, I believe.

(chuckles)

You're a good brother, Ray.
You deserve it.

I'll leave you to it.

It's better
than I expected.

I can't believe I made it out
to the Channel Islands.

Okay, let's get you
out of there.

Unh-unh. Come on.