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1
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:10,244
Oh, not again.
2
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,913
This baby... is gonna kill us.
3
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,915
LOIS:
Oh, Jamie, for the love of...!
4
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:16,484
It's all over the walls.
5
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,419
Boys, it's a level three!
6
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,553
Backyard, now!
7
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,756
:
Oh, my God!
8
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,758
How does this kid
keep getting out
of its diaper?
9
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:25,759
Damned if I know.
10
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,027
I put that one on
with duct tape.
11
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:28,896
Reese, get a mask and bucket
and clean up that wall.
12
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:29,997
Malcolm, find the old diaper
13
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,332
and bury it
at least three feet deep.
14
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,467
Dewey, stand by
with the garden hose.
15
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,671
Oh, we don't
have any diapers!
16
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,007
How did we go through
a bonus pack in one day?
17
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,009
Ugh! Jamie just went
all over the towel!
18
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,412
Dewey, here.... give me
your pajama top.
19
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,579
Not again!
20
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:48,549
This is my last pair!
21
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:49,950
Let's get you to the shower.
22
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,285
God... oh...
23
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:53,621
LOIS:
Oh, no, no, no, wait, wait.
24
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:56,557
Ugh, it's in my hair!
25
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:59,627
♪ Life is unfair.
26
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,967
Yes, I was checking our status
at the day care center.
27
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:11,205
What? How do you move down
on the waiting list?
28
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,773
Those are juvenile
offenses
29
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,309
and shouldn't be part
of the public record!
30
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,212
Hal, what are we going to do?
31
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,613
My maternity leave is over,
32
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:20,981
I go back to work tomorrow,
33
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,417
and we still haven't found
day care for Jamie.
34
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,819
Well, honey, maybe
you'll have to just...
35
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:27,288
stay out
a little longer.
36
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,789
I know money
is tight, but...
37
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,057
we can always
38
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,393
stretch our pennies
a little more.
39
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,327
This is insane.
40
00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:35,463
There is no juice left in there.
41
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,398
You are watering down water.
42
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,732
All right,
we're desperate!
43
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,901
But there has to be
some decent day care program
44
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,170
we can afford.
45
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,505
Now, where the hell
haven't we looked?
46
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,177
We're joining a church?
47
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,744
We don't know anything
about these people.
48
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,680
They have the best staffed
co-op nursery in town,
49
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,315
and they'll take care
of Jamie for free.
50
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:57,084
So, as far as these people know,
we've been practicing members
51
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,453
of the Brethren of Calvary
for years, you understand?
52
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:00,921
Why doesn't Malcolm
have to be here?
53
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,357
Would you rather be
doing his job right now?
54
00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:08,162
Ow, ow, ow! Let go, let go!
55
00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:10,931
What if they
ask me to pray?
56
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,533
I don't know
how to pray.
57
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,834
Look, they only
want to meet us.
58
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,969
So for the next half hour,
as far as you're concerned,
59
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,971
God is the greatest
thing in the universe,
60
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,307
and that's that.
61
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,175
Hello, everyone. I'm Pastor Roy.
62
00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,976
I understand you
want to transfer
63
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:26,146
your membership
from the Brethren in Danville?
64
00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:30,017
Yes. We were longtime
members in Danville.
65
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,186
I didn't know we had a church
in Danville.
66
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:36,023
It's gone now,
bought out by a strip club.
67
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,291
Really?
68
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:39,193
Well, it's not
all nude.
69
00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,695
It's just topless
with tassels, but still...
70
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:43,163
We just so want to continue
71
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,065
to be part
of the Brethren community.
72
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,967
"Community." I love that word.
73
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,836
And our branch is very active.
74
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,339
I'm sure the boys will enjoy
Bible study.
75
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:54,007
Oh, I'm sure they will.
And of course,
76
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,544
we also have hayrides, retreats,
prayer breakfasts...
77
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:57,678
Day care?
Day care...
78
00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,347
Really? Lois,
did you hear that?
79
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,415
They have day care.
I did not know that.
80
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:03,584
That kind of service
is why we have always
81
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,353
been so committed
to this church.
82
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:06,820
That's wonderful.
83
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,056
Have you gone through
the Precepts of the Covenant?
84
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,058
Yes. Of course.
85
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,028
Love the Precepts.
86
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,731
Number three has gotten me
through some hard times.
87
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:20,868
But it always comes back
to God, huh?
88
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,938
Yeah, God's pretty neat.
89
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:28,276
REESE: Yeah, he's totally
my favorite of all them.
90
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,246
I promise I will hire you back
91
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,682
just as soon
as business picks up.
92
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,884
I've never seen it
this slow, Otto.
93
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,753
That makes six employees
laid off in one week.
94
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,623
It is that festival
down at Roswell.
95
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,058
All of the tourists
are going--
96
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:47,361
to see where
the UFOs landed.
97
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:48,796
Our people are losing their jobs
98
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,365
'cause a bunch of idiot tourists
think little green men
99
00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:52,766
crashed a spaceship down there?
100
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,568
That's ridiculous.
Ja.
101
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,136
They will see
nothing down there.
102
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,472
The government put
every scrap of evidence
103
00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:01,842
in a secret vault
50 years ago.
104
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:06,647
Is this the news desk?
105
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,649
Listen, I'm out
at the Grotto Ranch,
106
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,751
and... oh, my God,
there it is again!
107
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,085
There's something weird
108
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,153
happening in the sky!
109
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,088
I see a light
and some kind of craft.
110
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,290
You'd better get out here
111
00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:18,426
right away!
112
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:22,129
I suppose it could be out here
for another 20 minutes,
113
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,531
but you'd better hurry!
114
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,303
Hi, Donna, we're here.
115
00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:30,338
Oh, hi, Lois.
116
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,640
This must be
your little angel.
117
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:33,807
There, there.
118
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:36,109
I don't know what got
into Jamie this morning.
119
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:39,012
This is so out
of the ordinary!
120
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:42,015
There, there, pumpkin.
When'd you get so fussy?
121
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,984
Well, sometimes
even the youngest babies
122
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,919
can sense your anxiety
on the first day.
123
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,588
Yeah, that must be it.
124
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,090
Uh, I expressed
some breast milk.
125
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,258
Oh, my.
126
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,993
I come from a long
line of milkers.
127
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,127
Once these get started,
there's no stopping them.
128
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,265
Whoa, this is
so unusual!
129
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,667
At home we forget
we even have a baby.
130
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,669
Bye-bye, sweetheart.
131
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:04,972
We're going to get along great
here, aren't we, precious?
132
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:08,642
Now, I know a lot of the mothers
like to hang around for a while
133
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,911
on the first day,
but we think it's...
134
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:15,649
I'm still waiting for a price...
Here's your change.
Thank you.
135
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:18,118
MAN:
That's not the right ointment!
What's wrong with you?!
136
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,186
You said you wanted
the do-it-yourself
applicator,
137
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,854
you crazy old man!
138
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,856
You think you're getting
out of helping me with this?!
139
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,392
You're my wife!
140
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,760
Ooh. Ooh!
141
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:31,031
Has it always been
this quiet here?
142
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:34,034
And the best part is,
when you play with God,
143
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,669
it's always your turn.
144
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,873
What does the "T" on
the wall stand for?
145
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:43,644
Uh, we'll talk
about that later.
146
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,846
Hal, I have to meet
a parishioner in my office.
147
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,748
Would you mind
continuing the lesson?
148
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:48,882
What, me?
Don't worry.
149
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:51,084
It's just the story
of Daniel and the lions.
150
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,387
I'm sure you know it
in your sleep.
151
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:59,493
Uh...
152
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:00,894
Okay, then, class.
153
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,696
:
Uh...
154
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:05,833
this is a story about a man
named Daniel,
155
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,736
and, apparently, some lions,
so...
156
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:09,737
Um...
157
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:13,040
"Uh, it-it pleased Darius
158
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,207
"to set over the kingdom
159
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,577
"120 princes,
160
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:19,613
"which should be
over the whole kingdom,
161
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:22,850
"and over these three officials,
162
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,554
uh, uh, of whom Daniel
was first..."
163
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,889
When do the
lions show up?
164
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,290
Soon, Dewey.
165
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,892
Please, you just have to be
a little patient.
166
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,962
Ooh! Ooh!
167
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:44,805
"Uh, uh, and Darius
said to Daniel,
168
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:48,609
"'Yea, verily, I smote you,
169
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,578
"and I send thee
to be thrown into the den.'
170
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,079
"Where soon,
171
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:56,316
Daniel was eaten by the lions."
172
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,620
I thought God
saved him.
173
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,121
Oh.
174
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,957
Well, sure.
175
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,292
I was getting
to that.
176
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:10,330
Uh, as, as it is written...
177
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:15,669
the lion dith spit him up...
178
00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:17,971
...along with a lamb.
179
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,007
A talking lamb.
180
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,142
:
"And verily,
181
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,611
"it came to pass
182
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:27,114
"that the big lump in the middle
of the boa constrictor
183
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,181
"turned out to be
184
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,784
"the missing ranger.
185
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:34,454
"Forasmuch as the multitudes
could still hear his radio
186
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,123
"saying unto them,
187
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:42,129
:
"Come in, Dave.
Dave, do you read me?"
188
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,299
♪ No need to go up
to Lover's Lane ♪
189
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,135
♪ And come back down
190
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,436
♪ All full of shame
191
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,272
♪ I'll smile as I sing
the same refrain ♪
192
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:56,343
♪ Abstain, abstain, abstain!
193
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:57,477
Oh!
194
00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:00,313
Well, we really shook
the rafters, didn't we?
195
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,281
I think Pastor Roy
196
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,083
might call the cops on us.
197
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,452
Yes, Reese?
198
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,620
Is there some kind of
199
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:09,322
loyalty oath I can sign
so I can get out of here?
200
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,124
Reese, no one's
forcing you to stay.
201
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,693
The only thing
keeping you here
202
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,362
is that little voice in your
head that keeps saying,
203
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,965
"Why are all these people
so much happier than me?"
204
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,367
Now, then,
as you know,
205
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,302
Mrs. Pitzer,
the church secretary,
206
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,171
suffered a paralyzing
spider bite
207
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,973
at last summer's faith retreat,
208
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,307
but out of
that tragedy
209
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:31,044
has come these wonderful
inspirational scenes
210
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,714
that she paints
with her mouth.
211
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,217
Here's Elijah being taken
up to Heaven
212
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,552
in his fiery chariot;
213
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:39,919
Jonah and the whale;
214
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,154
the parting
215
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,590
of the Red Sea...
216
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:45,258
It's a joyful thing
to witness the way
217
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:48,095
God has blessed this woman's
tongue and teeth.
218
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:51,732
♪ I don't need no evil weed
219
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:54,201
Oh, man. Wow.
220
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:57,070
♪ Keep your crack and your LSD
221
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,706
♪ I'm snorting something
222
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,008
♪ That God gave me
223
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:05,378
♪ And it smells
a lot like love... ♪
224
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:08,015
Mom, I don't want
to go to that class.
225
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,182
You see this paycheck?
226
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,118
I earned this because
we have day care.
227
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,587
Those who earn paychecks
get to have an opinion.
228
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,388
Those who don't
go to Bible school.
229
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,725
Hal, three serious diapers
on the way home.
230
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,292
We have to burn the car seat.
231
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:20,393
Dad, talk to her.
232
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,529
I don't want to go
to this class.
233
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,599
Malcolm, you have to give
this church a chance.
234
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,601
I understand it's
a little different
235
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:28,902
from what we're
used to,
236
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,871
but I opened up
to the experience,
237
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,041
and I feel a real
spiritual connection.
238
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,578
How's it looking, Hal?
Great.
239
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,180
See you got the
windows framed in.
240
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,752
We all find
our own path...
241
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,654
our own way.
242
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,890
I don't like the way
it feels either,
243
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,959
but I don't have any more
blouses, you little miracle.
244
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:56,263
If you could just, for the love
of God, stop crying.
245
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,130
Hi, Donna.
246
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,398
Oh, don't tell me
247
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,634
Jamie's
been carrying on again.
248
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,103
You sure have
a high-spirited little one.
249
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,271
Yeah, I guess I do.
250
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,272
Thanks for everything.
251
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,606
All right, dear.
252
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,141
Oh, and are you going
to be picking up Seth,
253
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,609
or should he be dropped off?
254
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:10,610
Seth? Who's Seth?
255
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,412
You're babysitting
Seth Richards.
256
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,514
It's been on the schedule
for two weeks.
257
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:17,250
See? Saturday,
Lois has Seth.
258
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,919
You don't understand.
259
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,088
I'm one of those people who
drops kids off at the co-op.
260
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,455
I don't watch them. I work.
261
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,457
We all take turns sitting.
262
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,593
That's what "co-op" means.
263
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,496
But I thought this one of those
churches where, you know,
264
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,932
people felt good doing things
for other people
265
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,834
who don't have
to do anything back.
266
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,169
I have to work tomorrow.
267
00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:37,938
I'm sorry, but you're going
268
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,273
to have to figure out
something else.
269
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,642
Seth, you have got
to get out of there!
270
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,177
This is my fort!
271
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,379
I'll be with you in a minute.
272
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,226
I have to admit,
I was a doubter.
273
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,894
But I guess
we're pretty lucky
274
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,796
to get a visit
from an actual UFO.
275
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,164
Yeah, yeah, but look at me.
276
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:09,502
I am still shaking from seeing
that craft with my own two eyes.
277
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:13,340
I tell you, they spoke to me
telepathically.
278
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,175
MAN:
There's been
another sighting!
279
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,177
The alien's moved down
to the Songbird Ranch.
280
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,546
They actually have
a piece of landing gear.
281
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:22,015
What?
282
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,150
No, they don't.
283
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,251
They're lying.
284
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:25,685
Otto, we can't
let these people...
285
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,220
For your own safety,
286
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:29,089
do not wave at them.
287
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,657
They think our hands
288
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,192
are sex organs.
289
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,427
You may start something
you won't want to finish.
290
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,036
What?
291
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,671
I love you.
292
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,273
Stop saying that.
293
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,841
Ever since we joined
this church,
294
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,843
you've been acting
really weird.
295
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:51,544
That's because
I'm a different Reese.
296
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:54,547
I was sitting
in Bible class dead,
297
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:57,951
when suddenly I was awakened.
298
00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:00,453
I'm dedicated to something
outside myself now.
299
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,022
Something wonderful.
300
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,891
Now come here.
301
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:07,594
Can't you just hit me
like you used to?
302
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,830
I'm just too happy.
303
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,566
It's beautiful.
304
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,068
You painted it and everything.
305
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,136
Welcome home, Hal.
306
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:19,039
I am so overwhelmed by this.
307
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,208
And I'm not just
blowing smoke this time.
308
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,777
You are the best.
309
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:26,079
God bless you all.
310
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,962
I think you're charging me
for your own soda.
311
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,296
Oh, I'm sorry.
312
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:18,098
That kid has me so frazzled.
313
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,967
I mean... Where is he?
314
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,434
Lois, for the love of God,
315
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:22,802
are you watching
this kid or not?
316
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:23,670
Where did you find him?
317
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:24,637
Under a car
318
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,439
sharing his candy bar
with a squirrel.
319
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,541
He didn't like it.
He's sick.
320
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:29,809
Lois, I am trying out
321
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,644
a less supportive
undergarment.
322
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:34,547
I can't be chasing this
boy all around the store.
323
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,349
Why don't you just
leave him in your car
324
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:38,585
like the other
bad mothers do?
325
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:42,956
Mrs. Munson,
326
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,625
I want you
to release my brother.
327
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,293
What?
328
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,961
Ever since Reese
329
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,563
got in your class,
he's been really nice to me.
330
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,332
Trust me-- it's creepy.
331
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,733
I don't like
this church.
332
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:57,537
Ever since we came here,
all I do is think about stuff.
333
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,672
What kind of God
makes children think
334
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,641
when they're not even in school?
335
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,044
Well, now, see,
that is a torment,
336
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,846
but I'm sure He has His reasons.
337
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,382
Yeah, like Pastor Roy said.
338
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,218
How God's so much bigger
and wiser than us
339
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,852
and trying to see
what he's thinking
340
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:15,222
would be like an ant trying
to see what I'm thinking.
341
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:16,656
Yes, exactly.
342
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,491
But we can trust in His wisdom
343
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,561
and we can have faith
that He is watching over us.
344
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:24,531
Like me with the anthill
in my backyard.
345
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,034
I spent days watching the ants,
trying to figure out
346
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,269
which ones were good
and which ones were bad.
347
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,403
But they all just
348
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,172
looked like ants,
349
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,007
so I started
smiting all of them.
350
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,108
Well, that's not...
351
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,743
I was smiting them
with the garden hose
352
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,845
and with lighter fluid
and with the lawn mower,
353
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:39,812
and to be
perfectly honest,
354
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:42,415
I think I went a little crazy
with the shovel.
355
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:43,416
Those ants
356
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,185
could have been praying
to me all day,
357
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,519
I wouldn't have heard them.
358
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:50,090
There was nothing
they could do about it.
359
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,191
But I don't
think...
360
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,892
Really, it's the same with us.
361
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,528
There's nothing we can do
about anything, either.
362
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,763
So why worry about it?
363
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,232
Hey, this
is making me feel better.
364
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:02,302
Well, that's... good, but...
365
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,636
I guess all we can do
is live our lives
366
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:04,704
with as much
kindness
367
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,039
and decency as possible
368
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,541
and try not to dwell
on God standing over us
369
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,642
with that giant shovel.
370
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:10,743
Bye.
371
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:18,451
That was $50 worth
of makeup.
372
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,553
Am I pretty?
No, you are not pretty.
373
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,289
You have caused me an
enormous amount of trouble
374
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:23,590
and I have had it,
you hear me?
375
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,291
Seth?
376
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,393
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.
377
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,594
Is he...
378
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:28,595
Are you from the co-op?
379
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,163
Yes, yes, I am.
380
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,065
And I suppose that
this might look a little odd,
381
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,733
but in my defense,
I didn't realize
382
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,268
I'd have to take care
of a kid today...
383
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:36,436
a child...
a, um...
384
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,171
a little person.
385
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:39,672
What are pleasure dots?
386
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,074
Oh, my Lord.
387
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,142
Seth,
388
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:45,178
you come away from that
woman this instant.
389
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,814
He did some nice coloring.
390
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,471
What the hell
are you doing?
391
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,040
What does it look
like I'm doing?
392
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,007
What kind of alien are you?
393
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,108
You don't even glow
in the dark.
394
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,109
Get out of here.
395
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,710
You get out of here.
You get out of here.
396
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,012
You get out of here.
397
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,247
You get...
398
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:32,025
Hal, I had a terrible day
with that child.
399
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,494
Oh, honey, I'm sorry I
couldn't help you out.
400
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,129
I just got back
from an all-day
401
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,464
hayride committee meeting.
402
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,966
Do you know there are six
different kinds of hay
403
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,734
and they all have
their promoters.
404
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:42,969
Hal, listen to me.
405
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,705
It was impossible
at work with that child,
406
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,807
but I kept thinking,
"I don't have a choice.
407
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,242
I have to do this for Jamie."
408
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:51,211
And then the parents came
and there was
409
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,979
this ugly thing,
and then
410
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:53,980
I saw this.
411
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,817
Hey, this is good coloring.
412
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,919
It's baby Moses
in the bullrushes.
413
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:02,422
And I started to think
about that story,
414
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:03,856
where the mother has
to take her little one
415
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,692
and send him
down the river forever
416
00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:07,260
to be raised by someone else.
417
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:09,896
And I wanted to be that mom.
418
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:16,536
Hal... I don't like this baby.
419
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:17,837
Are you serious?
420
00:17:17,869 --> 00:17:18,838
I know it's terrible.
421
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,073
I don't deserve
to be a mother.
422
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,907
I'm supposed to be
feeling all this perfect
423
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,344
motherly love,
and it's not there.
424
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,877
It is just not there.
425
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,714
I can't believe
you're saying this.
426
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,449
I know it's horrible.
427
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,718
You really
don't remember, do you?
428
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:33,853
Remember what?
429
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,923
Honey, you've hated
all our babies.
430
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,225
You couldn't
stand
431
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,527
the sight of any of them
for at least two months.
432
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,961
What?
Well, Reese, six months,
433
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:44,063
but he was a nipple-biter,
so I didn't blame you.
434
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:45,031
You told me
435
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,033
to leave Francis
at the county fair
436
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,801
so he could be
raised by cows.
437
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,139
Oh, my God.
438
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,607
It's just that
you're so tired
439
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,577
and, I mean, this all
seems so overwhelming,
440
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:02,149
but believe me, in a few weeks
you are going to love this baby
441
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:06,052
as much as anyone
has ever loved a baby.
442
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,320
Really?
443
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,122
Yeah.
444
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,925
Hey, I don't hear anything.
445
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,961
Where is the baby?
446
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:16,663
Sleeping quietly.
447
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,698
Been that way
for an hour.
448
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,605
Oh, my goodness.
449
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,806
How precious.
450
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,609
Who couldn't love
something like that?
451
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:34,147
Do we have
to keep the painting?
452
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:36,015
No.
453
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,719
We just have to find
an atheist handyman.
454
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,293
Come, it's time.
455
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,695
It all became clear to me
that first day in church.
456
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,096
And now that
everything
457
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,798
has been carefully prepared,
458
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,933
this will be the most
magnificent day
459
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,835
of my life.
460
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:56,969
What are you doing?
461
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,971
I plan to float
above the clouds
462
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:01,974
and experience the joy
that only birds can know.
463
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,677
You're going to fry yourself
on a high-voltage wire.
464
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:05,812
I'm not afraid.
465
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,047
I have faith in my vision.
466
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,682
I love you, Dewey.
467
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,957
This is incredible.
468
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,792
I can see the top of Dad's car
from here.
469
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,762
I'll miss you at first.
470
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,999
No, I'm as surprised as you are.
471
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:30,803
No, I'm as surprised as you are.
472
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,341
No, I'm as surprised
as yo are.
473
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:37,877
♪ Amazing race
474
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:40,413
♪ How sweet the taste
475
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:45,418
♪ That saved a wrench for me
476
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:50,823
♪ I once was in
the lost and found ♪
477
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:55,695
♪ Was blind,
but found my keys. ♪
478
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:58,265
♪ My face...
479
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,267
The United States
government is not happy
480
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,702
with the level of interest
you've created in this sector.
481
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:03,703
But what's the harm
482
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,838
in pretending I'm
from another planet?
483
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,206
I mean, all
that UFO stuff
484
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,908
about abductions
and cavity probes,
485
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,377
that's all made up.
486
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,578
Right?
487
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:16,215
Yes, there are no aliens.
488
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:19,286
But there are cavity probes.
489
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,590
But you just joined us
two weeks ago.
490
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:26,459
Believe me, you do not want us
to be part of your church.
491
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:31,130
We really don't belong
around civilized people.
492
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:32,899
Oh, come now.
I'm sure that's just a...
493
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,213
See, that's exactly
494
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,749
the kind of thing
we're talking about.
34968
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