Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,914 --> 00:00:04,526
Malcolm, Malcolm, in school,
we learned the coolest thing.
2
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,528
There were these people
who did this broadcast
3
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:08,921
and convinced everyone
that aliens were landing.
4
00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:09,748
So, what we do
5
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:11,620
is we wait for Reese
to fall asleep,
6
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:14,057
then we flash some lights
outside his window,
7
00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:16,451
and we go to the TV,
but we'll have made a tape...
8
00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:18,714
Dewey, you're totally
overthinking this.
9
00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:22,370
Reese, aliens landed
down the street!
10
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,199
Every man for himself!
11
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,506
Oh.
12
00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:32,467
♪ Yes, no, maybe
13
00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:34,686
♪ I don't know
14
00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:37,907
♪ Can you repeat the question?
15
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,344
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
16
00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,477
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
17
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,175
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
18
00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:46,959
♪ And you're not so big
19
00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:49,484
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
20
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,486
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
21
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:54,358
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
22
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,144
♪ And you're not so big
23
00:00:57,187 --> 00:01:00,843
♪ Life is unfair.
24
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,458
Mom is coming home a week early
from Aunt Susan's.
25
00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:09,460
We did all right with her gone,
but we still have
26
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:12,550
a couple things to take care of
before she gets back.
27
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,731
Move it, move it.
28
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:22,038
Now, remember, boys,
if you see the bobcat,
29
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:22,952
don't be a hero.
30
00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:24,519
Stand on a chair
and use your whistle.
31
00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:27,435
Get out of here, Foamy! Go home!
32
00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:31,700
You think she'll notice
the grass fire?
33
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:33,397
Just remember,
as far as we know,
34
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:36,183
Dewey has always been missing
the tip of his finger.
35
00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:37,227
HAL:
Boys, we're home.
36
00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:39,969
Oh, boys, I've missed you so!
37
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:42,014
Dad knocked down
your bedroom wall.
38
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,234
What?
39
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,806
Honey, I-I know
it doesn't look like much,
40
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:53,156
but this is just
the beginning stages
41
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,288
of a major expansion.
42
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:55,202
I have
conceptual drawings here.
43
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,551
Look, look.
44
00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,205
See how it continues
onto my hand?
45
00:01:58,248 --> 00:02:01,208
It was going to be something
really nice for you and the baby
46
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,992
with a window seat,
and please just promise
47
00:02:03,035 --> 00:02:04,428
you won't get mad
and leave again!
48
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:07,997
Hal, I'm just so glad
to be home!
49
00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:09,128
Oh!
50
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:11,522
Ugh! My sister
is the most obnoxious,
51
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:14,612
sanctimonious know-it-all
I've ever met.
52
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,962
She spent every
minute of my visit
53
00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,356
telling me everything I've
ever done wrong in my life.
54
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,618
It was just awful.
55
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:21,663
Tell me about it.
56
00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:24,013
Dating her was the worst
five years of my life.
57
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,233
Well, you know why she's
like that, don't you?
58
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,321
My parents.
59
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,018
Susan was always
the pretty one,
60
00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:32,413
Susan was the smart one, Susan
was the one with all the talent.
61
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:34,893
I was the one that couldn't
do anything right.
62
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:37,026
Hal, it got me
thinking about Reese.
63
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,636
As if you weren't feeling
bad enough.
64
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:42,031
No, Hal, I don't think that
we give Reese enough credit.
65
00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:44,903
I think that if we gave Reese
a little more responsibility,
66
00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:46,557
he would rise
to the challenge.
67
00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:48,211
Now, I'm not talking
about giving him
68
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,908
a key to the house,
or anything.
69
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,650
I just think some encouragement
would do him good.
70
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,696
Okay.
71
00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:55,479
Ooh.
72
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,220
Honey, come here.
73
00:02:57,264 --> 00:03:00,180
The eggs have hatched.
74
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,923
Morning.
75
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,231
Dewey, Mom's home.
76
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:09,406
Huh?
77
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:12,279
Oh. Right.
78
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:13,280
So, it's going to cost
79
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,847
at least $800
to close up the wall.
80
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:18,372
I suppose I can go back
to work at the drugstore.
81
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:19,373
Really?
Yeah.
82
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:20,374
I'm sure I can stand
83
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,245
on my feet
for eight hours a day.
84
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,247
And if you fall,
the amniotic fluid
85
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:25,727
provides a great cushion.
86
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,163
We'll think of something.
87
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,251
MALCOLM: Hey, there's
tons of stuff
88
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,426
we don't use
in the garage.
89
00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:31,254
Why don't we just put it out
on the front lawn
90
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,516
and see if we can sell it?
91
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,865
You mean like
a garage sale?
92
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,476
That's a terrific idea, Reese.
93
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,521
Don't you think
that's a great idea, Hal?
94
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:38,522
Actually,
I was the one...
95
00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:39,741
And you know what?
96
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,699
You can be
in charge.
97
00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:43,397
You can organize the stuff,
you can set the prices,
98
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,311
you can pick the date.
99
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:45,921
Why? I didn't
do anything.
100
00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:47,270
Reese, this isn't a punishment.
101
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,272
This is us demonstrating
our faith in you,
102
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,491
because I know
103
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:53,363
you are going to do a great job.
104
00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:54,451
We believe in you.
105
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:55,713
Don't we, Hal?
106
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,412
For God's sakes, he's my son.
107
00:03:58,455 --> 00:03:59,630
I mean, I love him.
108
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:01,241
Just answer the question, Hal.
109
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:03,852
Who wants juice?
110
00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,593
I do!
111
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,552
FRANCIS: You can't just sell
all my old stuff.
112
00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:09,684
Everything in that garage
113
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,947
represents a precious
childhood memory.
114
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,297
It's a bunch of old magazines,
a broken yo-yo
115
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,733
and a Rubik's cube
painted all one color.
116
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,519
Well, you try and solve
that thing!
117
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:19,781
I'm not going to argue with you.
118
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,913
You have ten seconds
to come up with a good reason
119
00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:22,958
to keep all that junk,
120
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:24,002
or I'm getting rid of it.
121
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:26,004
See, this is why
you are a terrible mother.
122
00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:28,355
Because everything has to be
a competition with you!
123
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,443
Oh, it does not.
124
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,401
I'm hanging up!I'm hanging up first.
125
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,011
No, I'm hanging...
Damn it!
126
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:36,188
You mustn't talk about
your family like that, Francis.
127
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:39,453
There is nothing
more important than...
128
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:45,110
It's a letter from
our son, Rutger!
129
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:46,677
We must hide
this immediately.
130
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,724
Why do you have to hide
a letter from your son?
131
00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:51,595
Otto, no!
132
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:52,596
What are you doing?
133
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,816
Nothing, because this
did not happen.
134
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,208
Nothing happened.
135
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:58,602
Except for me telling you
that nothing happened.
136
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:00,212
That happened, but only that.
137
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:03,346
Things will begin
to happen again, starting...
138
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,782
now!
139
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,437
Oh, look, the mail came.
140
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:08,699
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
141
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:11,049
Soon as the swelling
in my ankles goes down,
142
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,400
I'm going to get right back
to work with you boys.
143
00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:14,401
Thank you, honey.
144
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:17,491
No matter what it
does to the baby.
145
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,188
Reese, if you put
the heavy boxes down first,
146
00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:20,842
and thenstack
the light ones on top...
147
00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:24,193
It just kills you I'm
in charge, doesn't it?
148
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,240
Oh, wow!
149
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:29,459
What's that?
150
00:05:29,503 --> 00:05:30,547
This is the transmitter
151
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:33,289
from the pirate radio station
I had in college!
152
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,552
It was only a couple of watts,
but I brought the truth
153
00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:38,512
to everyone within three blocks
of the west side of campus.
154
00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:39,730
Until the FCC
155
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:42,559
shut me down
for telling it like it was.
156
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,822
And for not having a license.
157
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:46,781
See, the way it works...
158
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,086
I was just trying to be polite.
159
00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:51,133
I didn't think you were going
to punish me for it.
160
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,571
Hey, there, Sparky.
161
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:55,790
So, half the campus is
162
00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,618
goose-stepping down
to the bonfire
163
00:05:57,661 --> 00:06:00,751
to be brainwashed
by the Stepford cheerleaders--
164
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,840
the pied pipers of pep.
165
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:06,278
They want us to forget
why we came to this institution,
166
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,019
but not Kid Charlemagne.
167
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,891
I am here to seek knowledge.
168
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:12,023
Let's get going, Hal.
169
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:15,026
And don't forget your head.
170
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,942
Righty-o.
171
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,556
I remember this toy.
172
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,253
I begged for it for months.
173
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:26,821
It was supposed to move and talk
and learn my name.
174
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:29,345
But the stupid thing
never worked.
175
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,869
Robot, robot, robot,
176
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,959
robot, robot, robot...
177
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,576
Okay, now I need
a five-inch girder.
178
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:43,881
Coming right up.
179
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:52,455
Hey, look, my baseball glove.
180
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:56,764
Hey, look, my baseball glove.
181
00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:00,115
Dad, is this yours?
182
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:01,377
No, it must have
been my roommate's.
183
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,466
You know, I think
it might be something...
184
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:04,946
Throw it out.
It's garbage.
185
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:07,122
Reese, maybe we should
try to find out what it is.
186
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:08,123
Mom!
187
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,168
Malcolm's not respecting
my leadership!
188
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:12,736
LOIS: Malcolm, you respect
Reese's leadership!
189
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:27,621
♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog...
190
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,536
Ooh, come on.
191
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:30,711
Come on.
192
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:36,586
Yes!
193
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:37,761
He said he'd return.
194
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,546
He couldn't be silenced.
195
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:42,636
Kid Charlemagne
is back on the air.
196
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:43,854
GRETCHEN:
Otto always planned
197
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,421
that when Rutger
finished college,
198
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,119
he would come out here und
live with us on the ranch.
199
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:50,731
But instead, he insisted
on going to medical school.
200
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:52,950
And when he was named chief
surgeon of his hospital,
201
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,430
Otto was crushed.
202
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,953
It's so strange he never
203
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:57,085
mentioned any of this.
204
00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:59,348
That is Otto's
Teutonic pride.
205
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:02,960
He will never, ever show
his feelings to anyone.
206
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,179
OTTO :
Welcome to the Grotto.
207
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:07,182
I'm sure you will
enjoy your stay.
208
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,535
And don't forget to
visit the gift shop.
209
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:16,234
Oh... perhaps tomorrow,
210
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:19,586
you would like to
go horseback riding
211
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:22,023
on Uncle Otto's pony!
212
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,376
LOIS:
Malcolm, dinner!
213
00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:30,466
Hal, I'm not going
to call you again!
214
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,728
There are so many things
215
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:34,208
the government
doesn't want you to know,
216
00:08:34,251 --> 00:08:38,212
and that's why they don't want
Kid Charlemagne on this mic.
217
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:40,607
Do I love my country? Yes.
218
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:41,825
Do I vote?
219
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:44,741
I used to, until they moved
our polling place
220
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:46,569
to the house with the big dog.
221
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:49,093
LOIS:
Hal! I said dinner!
222
00:08:53,881 --> 00:08:55,447
Kid Charlemagne is
back on the air.
223
00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:57,841
I think we should start
the garage sale around 7:00,
224
00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:00,365
because serious shoppers
like to get an early start.
225
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:01,802
Unless you have
a different idea,
226
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,673
which I'm sure would be great.
227
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:04,718
I was thinking 11:30.
228
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,807
So I could watch cartoons.
229
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:07,851
Oh, so you'll be
230
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:10,941
well rested
and better able to focus.
231
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:12,639
Good thinking.
232
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,249
Where were you
this afternoon?
233
00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:17,382
I instructed you to separate the
twist ties according to length.
234
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:18,819
He's been like
this all day.
235
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,168
I was doing homework.
236
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:22,823
No homework takes
more than 20 minutes.
237
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:24,825
Hal, what are you
doing out there?
238
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:26,087
I've been gone for six weeks,
239
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,828
and now that I'm home,
I barely see you.
240
00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:28,829
I missed you, too.
241
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,874
Why don't I put
on some music?
242
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:33,311
What is this childish need
you have to defy my authority?
243
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,183
Bite me.Just when I was starting
244
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,619
to feel confident
in my abilities.
245
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:39,666
Malcolm, I am sick of you always
putting your brother down.
246
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,103
This is Reese's project, and you
are going to be supportive.
247
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:43,974
HAL: And if the government
doesn't have a car
248
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,846
that runs on water,
then what are they
249
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,412
building all those dams for?
250
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:49,066
Reese is in charge
of this garage sale,
251
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,415
and you are going
to obey him.
252
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:51,982
No matter
what he asks you to do,
253
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,070
you are going to do it.
254
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,637
But he's...Malcolm, you can either let him
255
00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,465
be in charge of you
for the garage sale,
256
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:58,685
or you can let him
be in charge of you
257
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:01,513
every day for the rest
of your life.
258
00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:02,558
HAL: In case
you haven't noticed,
259
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,300
"Evian" spelled backwards
is "naive"!
260
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,257
Wow, it's like
261
00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:08,782
that guy is saying
what we're all thinking.
262
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:09,913
Hal, will you
263
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:11,045
turn that racket off?
264
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:13,134
Well, I guess I can't expect
265
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:16,528
a suburban housewife
to understand.
266
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,275
Dewey, what are you doing?
267
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:26,713
A tennis ball doesn't go
with the football.
268
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,715
It goes
with the ceramic bananas.
269
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:29,716
This is stupid.
270
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,718
Why are we sorting everything
by color?
271
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:32,893
Because I say so.
272
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:35,678
And because alphabetical order
was slowing us down.
273
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,941
Us?
274
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,160
This better be good.
275
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,335
There'll be hell to pay
276
00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:42,250
if Jellybean wakes up
from her massage
277
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:44,818
and doesn't see me
on the table next to her.
278
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:45,732
:
Oh, my God!
279
00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:47,124
Is that a Nortair?
280
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,344
It's a Nortair 680b.
281
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,607
It's, like, the first
personal computer ever made.
282
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,827
You have an interest in this
type of stuff, don't you?
283
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,089
There aren't many
of these left.
284
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,482
I'll give you
five bucks for it.
285
00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:58,527
Yeah, right.
286
00:10:58,570 --> 00:10:59,310
I checked online.
287
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:00,834
This is in
mint condition.
288
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:01,922
It's worth at
least $1,300.
289
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:02,966
Deal. No take-backs,
290
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,751
double black magic,
tap it, bomb it,
291
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,143
flush it down the toilet.
292
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:08,102
You understand it's going
to take me a couple days
293
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:10,713
to get the money.That's exactly what I want.
294
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:11,975
I want you to buy it
295
00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:13,368
this Saturday
at our garage sale.
296
00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:14,761
In front of everybody.
With cash.
297
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,719
You're going to react in horror
298
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,156
when I tell you Reese was going
to throw this in the trash.
299
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,288
And then
you're going
300
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:21,419
to tell everyone they should
301
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:22,986
have listened to meall along.
302
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:24,335
You know, right now
303
00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:26,163
you're sounding a lot
like a James Bond villain.
304
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,557
Me? There's nothing
wrong with me.
305
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,645
I'm fine.
306
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,733
And right.
307
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:31,952
And right!
308
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:32,779
And on Saturday,
309
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:35,390
everyone's going to know it.
310
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:38,610
Okay, but these revenge plans
have a way of backfiring.
311
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:39,829
Word to the wise,
312
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,918
if you ever make someone
an Ex-Lax milkshake,
313
00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:44,355
don't do it on an empty stomach.
314
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:46,183
HAL :
Someone is looking down at you
315
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:49,012
from a satellite with his finger
on the death beam,
316
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,884
and somewhere,
someone is watching him.
317
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,886
But who's watching that...
318
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:09,990
Oh, no! Oh, no.
319
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:18,389
Sir, do you know why
I pulled you over?
320
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:21,131
Certainly not for operating
an illegal pirate radio station.
321
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,220
I mean, even if I did
have the equipment in college,
322
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,396
I wouldn't have kept it
and be using it today.
323
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,833
What's with all these questions,
anyway?
324
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,138
Do you have a warrant?!
325
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,793
You ran a stop sign
a half mile back.
326
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:31,794
What?
327
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,230
There's no stop sign back there.
328
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,667
It's at the driveway
to the country club.
329
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:36,799
They just put it up.
330
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:41,717
That stop sign is
a declaration of war!
331
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:42,979
It's for the fat cats
332
00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:44,851
up on top of the hill
playing golf
333
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,418
while us regular Joes are late
for our second job,
334
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:50,030
or church or dinner
with our families.
335
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,248
"Well, I'm sorry
336
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,250
"I missed Little Bobby's
first steps, honey,
337
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:55,470
"but I had to come
to a complete stop
338
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:59,953
just because those robber barons
can't look both ways!"
339
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:02,216
Gretchen, what
are you doing?
340
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:03,826
I was just going
through some
341
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,697
of Rutger's things
from when he was a boy.
342
00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:13,923
Boy, I don't remember
that he was so fat.
343
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:15,969
Schlupi!
344
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,274
Who's Schlupi?
345
00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:19,973
Otto and Rutger used
to love Schlupi.
346
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,322
Otto would put Schlupi on,
347
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:23,933
and Rutger would laugh
and laugh.
348
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:24,847
It was almost
349
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,457
like a little brother to him.
350
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:30,897
Schlupi could say all of
the things that Otto couldn't.
351
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,724
Like, "Go to bed."
352
00:13:32,768 --> 00:13:34,465
And "Behave yourself."
353
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:37,425
And "Take your finger
out of there, it's disgusting!"
354
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:41,951
Oh, the love in that house.
355
00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:43,866
And now...
356
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,738
it's gone.
357
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,436
Gretchen, I hate
seeing you so upset.
358
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,307
You've got to talk
to Otto about this.
359
00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:52,005
There is no getting through
to him.
360
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,094
He won't even admit
that anything is wrong.
361
00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:57,532
OTTO :
Oh!
362
00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:58,098
Oh... Oh.
363
00:13:58,141 --> 00:13:59,795
♪ Oklahoma
364
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,580
♪ Where the wind comes
sweeping down the plain ♪
365
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,626
♪ And the waving wheat...
366
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:10,762
So you have
the money, right?
367
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,460
Yes. It cost me
three Little Lulus
368
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:13,983
and a Captain
Picard plate.
369
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:15,028
I hope you're happy.
370
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,072
I'll go get the computer.
371
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,857
You memorize this script.
372
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:22,949
Reese, that's a great idea
you're probably having
373
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,124
to help that lady
374
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:25,038
who's trying to buy something.
375
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,648
Yeah, okay.
376
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:28,780
Can I help you?
377
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,478
How much for the vacuum?
378
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:33,089
That's a set. You can only
buy that if you buy the lamp.
379
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,612
But I don't need a lamp.
380
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:36,440
Then you don't need a vacuum.
381
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,704
She'll be back.
382
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,968
And the lamp isn't going
without the blender.
383
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:45,972
You've obviously put a lot
of thought into this.
384
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,278
Where the heck does your father
385
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:49,801
keep disappearing to?
386
00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:52,804
And then the stop sign army
spring into action,
387
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,067
all in support
388
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:57,592
of the military industrial
country club complex.
389
00:14:57,635 --> 00:15:00,029
But that's not where it ends.
390
00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:01,161
Ooh.
391
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:04,033
Okay, pay attention to this.
392
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:06,601
How many sides to a stop sign?
393
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:08,081
Eight.
394
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:10,213
That's just a little too close
to the number of judges
395
00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,172
on the Supreme Court
for this citizen.
396
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,264
Hang on a second, America.
397
00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:33,019
Thank you very much.
398
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:35,108
That's mypiggy bank!
399
00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:36,587
That was in my room!
400
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,459
Relax, dipwad.
I got two bucks for it.
401
00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:41,201
It had $16 in it!
402
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:42,115
Wah-wah.
403
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,160
Spilt milk.
404
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,250
Mom, stupid Reese just did
405
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:48,469
the stupidest thing to my...
406
00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:49,687
You're as bad as Malcolm.
407
00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:51,907
I don't want to hear any more
complaining out of you
408
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,474
for the rest of the day,
understood?
409
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:55,084
Now, go! Help your brother.
410
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:58,218
Excuse me,
411
00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,262
do you have a microwave
for sale?
412
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:02,309
No, we...
413
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:05,921
Well, actually, yes.
414
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,140
Yes, we do.
415
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,619
Follow me.
416
00:16:09,664 --> 00:16:10,882
Excuse me, Malcolm,
it's me, Craig.
417
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:13,146
What's that
you're holding in your hands?
418
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:16,149
You mean this thing that
I've been trying to save?
419
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:18,803
That Reese has
insisted all along
420
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:19,891
was mere junk?
421
00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,154
Mere junk?
422
00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:24,157
Why, your brother couldn't
be more wrong,
423
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,072
nor you more right.
424
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:27,290
Please
425
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,031
allow me to buy it from you
426
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,250
for the princely sum of...
427
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,251
HAL:
Come with me.
428
00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:33,514
Dad, what are you doing?
429
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:34,602
Craig, get back here!
430
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,212
Mom...
What are you doing
with that?
431
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:37,474
I ordered you
to throw this away!
432
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,085
Let go of it,
you idiot!
433
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,174
Give it!No!
434
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:42,175
There you go-- $16.
435
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:43,219
Thank you.
436
00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:45,787
Hey, is that stereo for sale?
437
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,181
Make me an offer.
438
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,531
HAL: ...because we believe
in the Constitution!
439
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:52,272
We don't think
that the Constitution
440
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,490
is an empty promise.
441
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:55,492
We believe in the Bill
of Rights, don't we?
442
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:56,885
Well, I never understood
443
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:58,539
what the big deal was
about quartering soldiers.
444
00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:00,715
I mean, as long as I don't have
to change in front of them.
445
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,847
It's the spirit of free speech!
446
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:04,458
It's the fundamental
447
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,329
freedom that thousands of men
have given their lives for!
448
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,548
Hang a left here on Riverton.
449
00:17:07,590 --> 00:17:09,897
MAN: Attention, you are
conducting a broadcast
450
00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:12,683
in direct violation
of FCC Rule 27.
451
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:13,510
Pull over.
452
00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:17,123
I'm not going down
without a fight!
453
00:17:17,165 --> 00:17:18,993
I'm the voice of the little man!
454
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,213
The man on the girder.
455
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:21,736
The man on the streets.
456
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:24,130
The man
that fights The Man!
457
00:17:24,173 --> 00:17:25,305
Oh, my God!
458
00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,829
You're Kid
Charlemagne.
459
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:30,788
Give it!
No!
460
00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:31,876
Let go!
461
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:32,703
Reese, don't,
you stupid jackass.
462
00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:34,096
You don't know
what you're doing!
463
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,576
That is enough out of you!
464
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:38,144
Are you really
so insecure that you can't stand
465
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:40,146
anyone else getting
any attention?
466
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:41,756
Your brother has worked so hard
467
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,584
to make this yard sale
a success,
468
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:46,239
he doesn't need you
undermining him at ever turn.
469
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,241
Mom, you have
to listen to me.
470
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,243
We have a Nortair 680b.
471
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:51,331
It's a type of computer
472
00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:52,810
that was built in 1976.
473
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:54,812
There's only a few
in existence.
474
00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:57,946
And Craig is going
to give us $1,300 for it.
475
00:17:57,989 --> 00:18:00,383
$1,300?
476
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:02,516
Oh, my God.
477
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,825
What are you doing?!
478
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,131
I have a lot
of things to sell,
479
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,351
and I don't have time
to argue with this bozo.
480
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:12,134
I've got a Jet Ski
481
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,484
on hold, and the place closes
at 6:00.
482
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:15,920
What are you
talking about?
483
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,140
I'm buying a jet ski
with my yard sale money.
484
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,489
That money
isn't yours.
485
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,187
It's going to rebuild
our bedroom wall.
486
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,579
But you said
I was in charge.
487
00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:24,190
That means
Iget the money!
488
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:25,452
No, it doesn't.
489
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:27,149
Then why the hell would I want
to be in charge?
490
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:30,152
Reese, this is helping you
become a better person
491
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:31,632
by building your
self-esteem,
492
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:33,416
which you are obviously
going to need
493
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:37,333
if you are stupid enough
to throw away $1,300
494
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,075
that this family
desperately needs!
495
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,253
I'm cooperating!
496
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:45,602
I never met this man before.
497
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,213
I hate the Constitution.
498
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,214
I hate free speech.
499
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:49,258
I'll snitch.
500
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,303
I know things!
501
00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:51,652
What on earth?
502
00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:54,220
Stop! Government agent!
503
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,222
Fare warning, sir!
504
00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:59,703
Running adds an additional
$80 to your fine!
505
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,184
Otto, come out.
506
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,099
I know you're in here.
507
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,274
This is ridiculous.
508
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:06,623
It's been three days.
509
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:09,104
Look, I know you don't want
to talk about this,
510
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,628
but you can't
just keep hiding.
511
00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:14,327
Are you happy like this?
512
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,459
Don't I look happy?
513
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:18,766
Gretchen is freaking out.
514
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,681
The guests are leaving
in droves.
515
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:22,204
And Muffy wants her stall back.
516
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:23,771
You have to stop this.
517
00:19:23,814 --> 00:19:27,992
There is nothing to stop,
because there's nothing wrong.
518
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:30,125
Now go away.
519
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,606
Look, if there's one thing
I'm an expert at,
520
00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:34,216
it's pointless family conflict.
521
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,262
And if Rutger is anything
like me,
522
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:38,133
you're going to have
to make the first move.
523
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:41,049
That means you're going to have
to deal with your feelings.
524
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,398
I can't.
525
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:44,835
I know you can't.
526
00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:46,924
That's why I want you
to do something for me.
527
00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:47,838
Hmm?
528
00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:49,318
Look at your wedding ring.
529
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:50,319
Hmm?
530
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:53,322
Oh.
531
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,281
Schlupi?
532
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:57,457
Yes, Schlupi.
533
00:19:57,500 --> 00:20:00,373
I think it's about time
he weighed in on all this.
534
00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:06,248
I guess I was a little
disappointed
535
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:10,339
when Rutger wouldn't come.
536
00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:11,122
And then
537
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:12,298
when the letters came,
538
00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:13,647
it was so painful.
539
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:14,822
I couldn't bear it.
540
00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:18,913
I love him so
much, Francis.
541
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:22,133
And I swore that I would never
do that to my son,
542
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:23,396
and now look!
543
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:27,661
Rutger is such a wonderful boy.
544
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,315
He's so sensitive.
545
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:30,664
He's-he's so bright...
546
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:32,883
I'm going
to get Schlupi a phone.
547
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,974
HAL:
I'll tell you one thing.
548
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,673
20 years ago, I would
have cleared that fence.
549
00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:41,152
And the open manhole.
550
00:20:41,196 --> 00:20:42,502
Oh, God.
551
00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:45,287
How could I have been so wrong
about Reese?
552
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:46,941
Hal, just say it again, please.
553
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,508
I really need
to hear it.
554
00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:49,509
Okay, okay.
555
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,511
Reese...
556
00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:54,165
is hopeless.
557
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:55,210
Thank you.
558
00:20:57,386 --> 00:20:58,387
Ah, sorry.
559
00:20:58,431 --> 00:20:59,388
Hello?
560
00:20:59,432 --> 00:21:00,955
Mom?Francis?
561
00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:02,652
Listen, I've been doing
some thinking,
562
00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:04,175
and I just wanted to tell you
563
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:06,482
that even though
we haven't always gotten along,
564
00:21:06,526 --> 00:21:08,223
I guess you thought
you were doing
565
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,922
what was best for me, and...
well, I appreciate it.
566
00:21:11,966 --> 00:21:12,793
Wow.
567
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:14,360
Francis, what brought this on?
568
00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:15,535
I don't know.
569
00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:17,754
I guess
I just had a breakthrough.
570
00:21:17,798 --> 00:21:19,452
Anyway, I wanted to tell you
about this thing
571
00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:20,801
that happened in junior high...
40055
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
