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1
00:00:00,372 --> 00:00:02,141
_
2
00:00:04,532 --> 00:00:06,498
Any escape artist worth his salt
3
00:00:06,534 --> 00:00:09,727
will have a bobby pin
somewhere on his person
4
00:00:09,762 --> 00:00:11,003
at all times.
5
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[Grunting]
6
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[Groans]
7
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Lewis: Next!
8
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And what's your talent, son?
9
00:00:18,646 --> 00:00:21,680
I can translate any
Morse-code transmission
10
00:00:21,715 --> 00:00:24,082
from anywhere... in the world.
11
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Prepare to be amazed.
12
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[Machine clicks]
13
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[Static]
14
00:00:29,957 --> 00:00:32,524
At the moment,
no one is sending any messages.
15
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Get off my stage!
16
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[Grunts]
17
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[Audience booing]
18
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[Grunts] I did not become
a high-school principal
19
00:00:42,670 --> 00:00:45,304
to put on an unentertaining talent show!
20
00:00:45,339 --> 00:00:47,406
That means no crappy acts
21
00:00:47,441 --> 00:00:48,707
and strict enforcement
22
00:00:48,742 --> 00:00:51,243
of my famous one-slot-per-talent policy
23
00:00:51,278 --> 00:00:53,345
to ensure some [Bleep] variety!
24
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:56,014
One singer, one tumbler,
25
00:00:56,050 --> 00:00:58,617
one Annie Oakley-style
trick-shootin' cowgirl...
26
00:00:58,652 --> 00:00:59,818
[Gun clicks]
27
00:00:59,853 --> 00:01:02,120
...and one hot-dog speed-eater!
28
00:01:02,156 --> 00:01:03,622
The fat one.
29
00:01:03,657 --> 00:01:05,157
[Grunts] Hut!
30
00:01:05,192 --> 00:01:07,259
[Tray clatters]
31
00:01:07,294 --> 00:01:09,561
That singing slot is yours, buddy.
32
00:01:09,597 --> 00:01:11,830
A.J. Slick doesn't stand a chance.
33
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A.J.: My ears are burning.
34
00:01:14,235 --> 00:01:15,767
And that usually only happens
35
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when I hear Steve's singing.
36
00:01:17,738 --> 00:01:19,238
- Hey, A.J.
- Please...
37
00:01:19,273 --> 00:01:20,872
Call me A.J. Slick.
38
00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:22,908
I just wanted to say "good luck."
39
00:01:22,943 --> 00:01:25,844
How about a little lemonade
to lube the old larynx?
40
00:01:25,879 --> 00:01:27,679
Wow, now... now that's sportsmanship.
41
00:01:27,715 --> 00:01:30,015
Heh. Thanks, A.J.
42
00:01:30,050 --> 00:01:32,417
Blech! [Coughing]
43
00:01:32,453 --> 00:01:34,186
Oh, did I say lemonade?
44
00:01:34,221 --> 00:01:35,654
I meant Lemon Pledge.
45
00:01:35,689 --> 00:01:36,788
You've been Slick'd!
46
00:01:36,824 --> 00:01:38,190
Lewis: Steve Smith?
47
00:01:38,225 --> 00:01:41,460
["Grease (Is the Word)" plays]
48
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[Hoarsely] ? They think our
love is just a growing pain ?
49
00:01:48,535 --> 00:01:49,735
Lewis: Off my stage!
50
00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:53,305
[Audience booing]
51
00:01:56,339 --> 00:01:58,277
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
52
00:01:58,312 --> 00:02:02,114
? I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ?
53
00:02:02,149 --> 00:02:05,217
? The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ?
54
00:02:05,252 --> 00:02:09,921
? And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ?
55
00:02:11,625 --> 00:02:14,960
? Oh, boy, it's swell to say ?
56
00:02:14,995 --> 00:02:17,729
- ? Good... ?
- ? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
57
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Aah!
58
00:02:19,867 --> 00:02:22,668
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
59
00:02:25,739 --> 00:02:27,105
I was heavily penalized
60
00:02:27,141 --> 00:02:29,441
for withdrawing funds
from my 401(k) early,
61
00:02:29,476 --> 00:02:30,776
but it was all worth it
62
00:02:30,811 --> 00:02:33,145
to get my hands on this baby.
63
00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:35,547
The world's last Milkybar Choo.
64
00:02:35,582 --> 00:02:36,548
Francine: Achoo!
65
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:39,017
[Blows nose]
66
00:02:39,053 --> 00:02:40,052
Sorry, Klaus.
67
00:02:40,087 --> 00:02:42,754
My allergies have just
been kicking my ass,
68
00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:44,523
and nothing seems to help.
69
00:02:44,558 --> 00:02:46,002
You know what's great for hay fever?
70
00:02:46,002 --> 00:02:47,993
Locally produced honey.
71
00:02:48,028 --> 00:02:49,394
Local honey, huh?
72
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:51,730
Let me just run it by my allergist.
73
00:02:53,767 --> 00:02:56,101
We don't need that
money-grubbing allergist
74
00:02:56,136 --> 00:02:58,603
horning in on the
profits from our nnn...
75
00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:01,373
All: New local honey business!
76
00:03:01,408 --> 00:03:03,410
- [Door opens]
- [Mumbling] Stupid talent show.
77
00:03:03,445 --> 00:03:05,002
Stupid singing. A.J.
78
00:03:05,037 --> 00:03:05,906
What's wrong, son?
79
00:03:05,941 --> 00:03:07,579
[Normal voice] Everybody
acts like the talent show
80
00:03:07,614 --> 00:03:08,447
is such a big deal...
81
00:03:08,482 --> 00:03:09,448
And right they are.
82
00:03:09,483 --> 00:03:10,782
No one ever forgets
83
00:03:10,818 --> 00:03:12,584
the winner of their
high-school talent show.
84
00:03:12,619 --> 00:03:14,286
Ours was Scott Kaminetzky.
85
00:03:14,321 --> 00:03:16,888
He could juggle so much.
86
00:03:18,492 --> 00:03:19,725
Now, back to our thing.
87
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,426
All: Lo-cal! Hon-ey!
88
00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:24,129
Lo-cal! Hon-ey!
89
00:03:24,164 --> 00:03:25,750
Stupid A.J. Slick.
90
00:03:25,785 --> 00:03:27,032
Cheating me out of my slot.
91
00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:28,967
Roger: [Whispering] Hey. Hey.
92
00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:30,602
Up here.
93
00:03:30,637 --> 00:03:33,338
Want to get back at A.J.
and win that talent show?
94
00:03:33,374 --> 00:03:34,539
I can help.
95
00:03:34,575 --> 00:03:36,141
What... what are you doing in there?
96
00:03:36,176 --> 00:03:37,075
I'm trapped.
97
00:03:37,111 --> 00:03:38,410
I dropped a Skittle down a vent,
98
00:03:38,445 --> 00:03:39,511
and I went in after it.
99
00:03:39,546 --> 00:03:40,746
I've been in here for days.
100
00:03:40,781 --> 00:03:42,080
Get a Phillips-head screwdriver
101
00:03:42,116 --> 00:03:44,049
and meet me by the vent
in Hayley's bathroom.
102
00:03:44,084 --> 00:03:45,984
Oh. Oh, there...
uhp, there's the Skittle.
103
00:03:46,019 --> 00:03:48,653
Went down this slightly
narrower passageway here.
104
00:03:48,789 --> 00:03:51,056
[scraping]
105
00:03:51,091 --> 00:03:52,724
Shit.
106
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,794
You came to the right guy, Steve.
107
00:03:58,897 --> 00:04:00,196
[Clangs]
108
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:02,599
[Inhales deeply]
109
00:04:02,634 --> 00:04:03,733
[Exhales]
110
00:04:03,768 --> 00:04:05,568
I love a good quest for revenge.
111
00:04:05,604 --> 00:04:07,136
I'm not out for revenge, Roger.
112
00:04:07,172 --> 00:04:09,934
I am a proud, life-long good boy.
113
00:04:09,969 --> 00:04:10,340
Deny it all you want,
114
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,575
but deep down,
you want to get back at A.J.,
115
00:04:12,611 --> 00:04:14,344
and you want to win that show.
116
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,511
I admit,
117
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,747
it'd be nice to see A.J.
get what he deserves.
118
00:04:17,782 --> 00:04:19,415
But singing was my talent.
119
00:04:19,451 --> 00:04:20,617
Wha... what else can I do?
120
00:04:20,652 --> 00:04:23,486
One word... ventriloquy.
121
00:04:23,521 --> 00:04:24,587
Ventriloquism?
122
00:04:24,623 --> 00:04:25,855
Puppet-talkin'.
123
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,056
One word.
124
00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:29,826
In the '70's,
I was half of the most popular
125
00:04:29,861 --> 00:04:31,995
ventril-agrgah act in the world.
126
00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:33,529
I was the puppet.
127
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,131
I was kicked off "Match Game"
128
00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:37,066
for saying the word "queef" on air.
129
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:38,735
But that's neither here nor there.
130
00:04:38,770 --> 00:04:41,204
Point is, just like you,
my partner Dennis
131
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:43,906
didn't know the first
thing about ventril-gahvel.
132
00:04:43,942 --> 00:04:46,542
But it didn't matter,
because I do all the work.
133
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,644
Hmm.
134
00:04:47,679 --> 00:04:49,746
Almost sounds too good to be true.
135
00:04:49,781 --> 00:04:50,847
That's the spirit.
136
00:04:50,882 --> 00:04:52,815
But... there is one thing
137
00:04:52,851 --> 00:04:54,384
I'm going to need from you.
138
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,519
Total commitment.
139
00:04:56,554 --> 00:04:57,954
- Deal.
- Good.
140
00:04:57,989 --> 00:05:00,590
Because this is perhaps my
most challenging character,
141
00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:01,991
both physically and mentally.
142
00:05:02,027 --> 00:05:03,293
Even more than my
143
00:05:03,328 --> 00:05:04,894
mentally challenged
bodybuilder character,
144
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,963
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
145
00:05:06,998 --> 00:05:09,408
First, I have to apply several layers
146
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,209
of this pungent lacquer face paint
147
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,236
to really make it look
like I'm made out of wood.
148
00:05:13,972 --> 00:05:15,138
Which is important,
149
00:05:15,173 --> 00:05:16,539
because almost all of my material
150
00:05:16,574 --> 00:05:17,840
is wood-based puns.
151
00:05:17,876 --> 00:05:19,609
[Sniffs] Ugh!
152
00:05:19,644 --> 00:05:22,645
It smells worse than Principal
Lewis's index finger.
153
00:05:22,681 --> 00:05:23,880
Then... [Grunts]
154
00:05:23,915 --> 00:05:25,214
...painful prosthetics
155
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,517
to give me fully-flappable
eyebrows and ears.
156
00:05:27,552 --> 00:05:31,554
And finally, I inject just a
scosche of paralyzing agent
157
00:05:31,589 --> 00:05:33,256
into my arms and legs.
158
00:05:34,059 --> 00:05:35,525
Wow, you move just like a dummy.
159
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:36,826
[Thwack!]
160
00:05:36,861 --> 00:05:39,195
Now, Steve,
why do you think I slapped you?
161
00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:41,130
It's because you used a certain word.
162
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,965
- Do you know what that word is?
- Is it...
163
00:05:43,001 --> 00:05:44,233
- [Thwack!]
- That's right!
164
00:05:44,269 --> 00:05:46,302
Never, ever call me a dummy.
165
00:05:46,338 --> 00:05:48,471
The word "dummy" is degrading.
166
00:05:48,506 --> 00:05:52,608
I am a manually-articulated
perfomative kinesio-maquette...
167
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:55,244
named Dudley Dingleberry.
168
00:05:57,482 --> 00:06:00,783
Gee, Dudley, I sure hope
you remember all your lines.
169
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,318
Well, knock on wood.
170
00:06:02,354 --> 00:06:03,386
[Knock! Knock!]
171
00:06:03,421 --> 00:06:05,788
Talk about a blockhead, am I right?
172
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,257
[Laughter]
173
00:06:08,293 --> 00:06:10,560
Hey, ladies. You ever seen a woodpecker?
174
00:06:10,595 --> 00:06:11,594
Want to see mine?
175
00:06:11,629 --> 00:06:12,662
[Zipper unzips]
176
00:06:12,697 --> 00:06:14,197
[Grunting]
177
00:06:14,232 --> 00:06:15,531
- Gah! Damn it!
- [Laughter]
178
00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:17,567
This is why we should've
rehearsed with the bird.
179
00:06:17,602 --> 00:06:18,901
[Laughing]
180
00:06:18,937 --> 00:06:20,603
That orphan kid with the therapy puppet
181
00:06:20,638 --> 00:06:23,072
might as well head on
back to his group home,
182
00:06:23,108 --> 00:06:26,376
because the ventriloquy slot is yours!
183
00:06:30,482 --> 00:06:31,940
Wow, it worked.
184
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,016
Everyone really thinks you're a du...
185
00:06:34,052 --> 00:06:35,985
A what, Steve?
186
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:38,221
Du... Dudley. I was gonna say Dudley.
187
00:06:38,256 --> 00:06:39,455
They all think I'm a Dudley.
188
00:06:39,491 --> 00:06:40,957
That's what you were gonna say?
189
00:06:40,992 --> 00:06:43,059
Finalists, gather up.
190
00:06:43,094 --> 00:06:45,094
In five days,
191
00:06:45,130 --> 00:06:48,364
one of you will be crowned
talent-show champion,
192
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,532
and... wait.
193
00:06:49,567 --> 00:06:51,501
Where's the roly-poly
Miss Carla Cannoli,
194
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,102
My star tumbler?
195
00:06:53,138 --> 00:06:55,238
The brakes on Carla's
bike somehow gave out!
196
00:06:55,273 --> 00:06:57,507
And she crashed right into the flagpole!
197
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,641
[Dramatic music plays]
198
00:06:58,676 --> 00:06:59,776
[All gasping]
199
00:06:59,811 --> 00:07:03,312
Sounds like she... took a tumble.
200
00:07:03,348 --> 00:07:06,315
[Laughter]
201
00:07:06,351 --> 00:07:09,218
That kind of humor's
not exactly to my taste,
202
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:12,433
but I think we got a good
shot at winning this thing.
203
00:07:12,468 --> 00:07:13,189
Yes.
204
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:16,092
We're gonna kill the competition.
205
00:07:16,127 --> 00:07:19,362
[Soft horror music plays]
206
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,306
[Gagging]
207
00:07:30,341 --> 00:07:31,207
[Coughs]
208
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,275
[Breathing shallowly]
209
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:37,246
Oh. Oh God.
210
00:07:40,175 --> 00:07:41,341
[Laughter]
211
00:07:41,376 --> 00:07:43,310
My last girlfriend was Russian.
212
00:07:43,345 --> 00:07:45,979
Yeah, she was a Russian nesting doll.
213
00:07:46,014 --> 00:07:47,180
[Laughter]
214
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:48,648
[Giggles] Oh, Steve.
215
00:07:48,684 --> 00:07:50,684
I've never seen this side of you.
216
00:07:50,719 --> 00:07:52,486
[Exhales affectionately] Bang, bang.
217
00:07:52,521 --> 00:07:53,507
Easy there, toots,
218
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,822
or I won't be the only
wood in Steve's lap.
219
00:07:55,858 --> 00:07:57,557
[Laughter]
220
00:07:57,593 --> 00:07:59,092
A.J.: You and that stupid doll.
221
00:07:59,128 --> 00:08:01,027
More like Ugly Dingleberry.
222
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:04,048
We all know I'm still by
far the favorite to win.
223
00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:08,368
You are now,
and always will be, a loser.
224
00:08:08,403 --> 00:08:10,137
Hey, A.J.
225
00:08:10,172 --> 00:08:11,738
[Bleep] you.
226
00:08:11,774 --> 00:08:13,740
[Laughter]
227
00:08:13,776 --> 00:08:16,476
All: Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve!
228
00:08:16,512 --> 00:08:18,478
[Thunder rumbles]
229
00:08:18,514 --> 00:08:20,480
? Do, re, mi ?
230
00:08:20,516 --> 00:08:23,150
? Fa, sol, la, ti ?
231
00:08:23,185 --> 00:08:24,851
? Do ?
232
00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,054
[Chuckling in distance]
233
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,357
[Chuckling continues]
234
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:32,926
Hello?
235
00:08:32,961 --> 00:08:34,961
Is anybody there?
236
00:08:34,997 --> 00:08:36,963
[Thunder crashes]
237
00:08:36,999 --> 00:08:38,999
Oh, it's just that stupid doll.
238
00:08:39,034 --> 00:08:41,401
Well, back to bench pressing.
239
00:08:43,005 --> 00:08:44,905
[Thunder crashes]
240
00:08:45,941 --> 00:08:47,073
Huh.
241
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,542
Wind must've blown it.
242
00:08:48,577 --> 00:08:50,410
Must be a draft in here or something.
243
00:08:50,445 --> 00:08:51,912
Stupid doll.
244
00:08:51,947 --> 00:08:53,096
Again, so ugly.
245
00:08:53,131 --> 00:08:54,231
[Thunder crashes]
246
00:08:55,049 --> 00:08:56,333
What's this smelly old thing
247
00:08:56,368 --> 00:08:57,934
doing up here anyway?
248
00:08:57,970 --> 00:09:00,537
You and Steve think you
can take on the Slickster?
249
00:09:00,572 --> 00:09:03,440
Ha! You're just a stupid, old doll.
250
00:09:03,475 --> 00:09:04,674
You couldn't stop me
251
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,343
if I slapped you right in the face.
252
00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:07,744
[Thwack!]
253
00:09:07,779 --> 00:09:09,479
What are you gonna do about it, doll?
254
00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:10,981
How about I poke you
right in the eye, huh?
255
00:09:11,016 --> 00:09:13,717
- [Plop!]
- Or put my fist in your mouth?
256
00:09:13,752 --> 00:09:15,785
Or make you eat garbage? How about that?
257
00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:17,287
Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom!
258
00:09:17,322 --> 00:09:19,089
- More slaps!
- [Thwack! Thwack!]
259
00:09:19,124 --> 00:09:20,323
Enough of this!
260
00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,992
I need to hydrate.
261
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:25,695
[Thunder crashes]
262
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:26,997
Roger: [Laughs]
263
00:09:27,032 --> 00:09:28,899
[Door slams]
264
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:33,970
[Screams]
265
00:09:34,873 --> 00:09:35,805
[Crack!]
266
00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:37,874
[Siren wailing in the distance]
267
00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:41,044
Oh, my God! Wh... what happened?
268
00:09:41,079 --> 00:09:42,012
Freak accident.
269
00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:43,947
A barbell crushed A.J.'s larynx...
270
00:09:43,982 --> 00:09:45,916
The exact body part that
all but guaranteed him
271
00:09:45,951 --> 00:09:47,450
to beat you in the talent show.
272
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:50,353
Can you believe it... the coincidence?
273
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:51,888
Anyway, the reason I called you
274
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,257
is because we found your puppet
lying on the floor in here.
275
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:56,726
You ought to keep better
track of this guy, Smith.
276
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,362
Hey, where do you put your
hand in this thing anywa...
277
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:01,131
Oh, never mind. I found it.
278
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:04,100
Please tell me you didn't
have anything to do
279
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,169
- with A.J.'s accident.
- Let's just say
280
00:10:06,204 --> 00:10:08,872
that as far as us winning
the talent show goes,
281
00:10:08,907 --> 00:10:12,175
the bar was just lowered.
282
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,643
That, uh...
283
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,545
That's not the most convincing denial.
284
00:10:16,397 --> 00:10:17,671
Hey, check it out.
285
00:10:17,706 --> 00:10:19,271
It's the kid from the auditions.
286
00:10:19,306 --> 00:10:21,229
Dude, you're so funny. What's your name?
287
00:10:21,264 --> 00:10:22,185
Don't worry about it, Tyler.
288
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:25,055
If he wins the talent show,
everyone will know his name.
289
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:25,989
And if he loses,
290
00:10:26,024 --> 00:10:27,224
it'll be like he never existed.
291
00:10:27,224 --> 00:10:28,992
Great point, Marcus.
292
00:10:30,362 --> 00:10:31,962
[Zippers unzip]
293
00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:34,564
[Siren wailing in the distance]
294
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,346
They're here.
295
00:10:35,346 --> 00:10:37,667
We're on our way to our
first batch of local honey.
296
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,169
Now we just need a slogan.
297
00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:40,670
How about...
298
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:42,439
[Spanish accent]
..."don't you know we're local?"
299
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:43,473
Done.
300
00:10:44,109 --> 00:10:45,642
[Normal voice] They're all dead.
301
00:10:45,677 --> 00:10:46,943
E... except for... [sighs]
302
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:48,878
...what looks like some wasps?
303
00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:50,647
Did you put wasps in with the bees?
304
00:10:50,682 --> 00:10:52,515
Did I put some jocks in with the nerds?
305
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:53,683
Hell, yeah, I did.
306
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,719
Our honey's gonna have some balls.
307
00:10:55,754 --> 00:10:57,287
Wasps don't make honey.
308
00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:59,022
And all our bees are dead.
309
00:10:59,057 --> 00:11:00,790
All great businesses pivot.
310
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:01,891
Burger King was
311
00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,693
a topless maid service for decades.
312
00:11:03,929 --> 00:11:06,596
Ow! A wasp just stung me.
313
00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,098
You're having an allergic reaction.
314
00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:09,666
We should get you to the hospital.
315
00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:11,034
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
316
00:11:11,069 --> 00:11:12,802
I saw we give this another shot here
317
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,504
and double down on home remedies.
318
00:11:14,539 --> 00:11:16,306
No way. Mom?
319
00:11:16,341 --> 00:11:17,742
[Strained] He does seem to know
320
00:11:17,742 --> 00:11:20,410
a lot about Burger King.
321
00:11:20,445 --> 00:11:22,479
[Thunder crashes]
322
00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:24,881
?
323
00:11:24,916 --> 00:11:28,418
Well, the Middle East
ain't gettin' any better.
324
00:11:28,453 --> 00:11:30,253
Roger: [Menacing laugh]
325
00:11:32,457 --> 00:11:33,957
[Glass shatters]
326
00:11:33,992 --> 00:11:35,158
Hello?
327
00:11:35,193 --> 00:11:37,694
[Menacing laugh]
328
00:11:37,729 --> 00:11:39,195
?
329
00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:40,830
Is someone there?
330
00:11:43,435 --> 00:11:44,501
Help!
331
00:11:44,536 --> 00:11:46,102
Roger: [Menacing laugh]
332
00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:48,238
Somebody! Help!!
333
00:11:48,273 --> 00:11:50,373
Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!
334
00:11:52,811 --> 00:11:54,711
Oh, my God! Barry!
335
00:11:54,746 --> 00:11:55,979
My hot-dog speed-eater!
336
00:11:56,014 --> 00:11:57,914
Give this boy a wiener! Stat!
337
00:12:00,452 --> 00:12:02,352
Oh, no.
338
00:12:02,387 --> 00:12:05,622
[Weakly] I'm full...
339
00:12:05,657 --> 00:12:06,823
- That is not a talent.
- Damn it!
340
00:12:06,858 --> 00:12:08,291
- Barry: Aah!
- [Thud!]
341
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,697
I turned a blind eye to these accidents,
342
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,231
but no more!
343
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:16,466
Barry's my friend!
344
00:12:17,135 --> 00:12:20,270
Seriously, Roger,
drop the stupid puppet act.
345
00:12:20,972 --> 00:12:22,439
Roger?
346
00:12:22,474 --> 00:12:23,840
Oh, my God.
347
00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:27,277
It's like he's lost in
some sort of trance.
348
00:12:27,312 --> 00:12:29,112
Maybe something in here can tell me
349
00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:31,147
what the hell's going on with him.
350
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:33,431
- ?
- _
351
00:12:33,531 --> 00:12:35,350
- ?
- _
352
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,397
- ?
- _
353
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:40,138
Wow. I really should've
looked further into this book
354
00:12:40,138 --> 00:12:42,325
before I started this whole thing.
355
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,395
- ?
- _
356
00:12:49,961 --> 00:12:52,567
_
357
00:12:52,704 --> 00:12:53,770
Oh, good.
358
00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:55,572
?
359
00:12:55,607 --> 00:12:57,640
[Mumbling]
360
00:12:57,676 --> 00:12:59,175
E-e-e-excuse me, sir?
361
00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:01,945
Could...
could I ask you a few questions?
362
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:03,847
Y-y-you see, I-I've...
363
00:13:03,882 --> 00:13:08,118
Well, I-I've been working
with Dudley Dingleberry.
364
00:13:08,153 --> 00:13:09,252
[Gasps]
365
00:13:09,287 --> 00:13:11,187
Dudley Dingleberry?
366
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:12,756
You fool!
367
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:16,292
You have no idea the evil
forces you tamper with!
368
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:19,596
The year was 1976.
369
00:13:19,631 --> 00:13:22,465
Dudley and I were on
"Hollywood Squares,"
370
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:25,802
and he started killing
all the other celebrities,
371
00:13:25,837 --> 00:13:30,140
just so we could sit center square.
372
00:13:30,175 --> 00:13:33,476
Teaming up with Dudley
was my first mistake.
373
00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:36,880
My second was having
my other puppet, Mr. Doodles,
374
00:13:36,915 --> 00:13:40,350
represent me in my murder trial.
375
00:13:40,385 --> 00:13:41,584
So how do I stop him?
376
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:42,619
Stop him?!
377
00:13:42,654 --> 00:13:44,621
There's no stopping him!
378
00:13:44,656 --> 00:13:46,556
You think he's the puppet?
379
00:13:46,591 --> 00:13:47,957
You're the puppet!
380
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,527
He's controlling you!
381
00:13:50,562 --> 00:13:52,395
Did I blow your mind?
382
00:13:52,430 --> 00:13:55,431
Just talking about him
brings it all back...
383
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:58,768
that horrible, mincing voice,
that awful smell.
384
00:13:58,804 --> 00:13:59,903
The smell?
385
00:13:59,938 --> 00:14:02,405
[Gasps] The smell!
386
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,073
Thanks, you old creep!
387
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:07,477
[Thunder crashes]
388
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:11,114
"Industrial airplane paint.
389
00:14:11,149 --> 00:14:13,917
Inhalation may cause
temporary psychosis!
390
00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:15,618
Ages 6 and up."
391
00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:16,553
I knew it!
392
00:14:16,588 --> 00:14:17,887
All right, buddy.
393
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,856
All I have to do is get
that makeup off you,
394
00:14:19,891 --> 00:14:21,658
and everything will go back to normal.
395
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:23,198
We'll have to forfeit the talent show,
396
00:14:23,198 --> 00:14:25,361
but it's a small price to...
397
00:14:27,098 --> 00:14:28,231
Huh?
398
00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:29,499
Hello?
399
00:14:30,669 --> 00:14:32,101
- [Shouts]
- [Screams]
400
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:35,138
- [High-pitched screaming]
- [Menacing laughter]
401
00:14:41,346 --> 00:14:43,079
Aah!
402
00:14:43,982 --> 00:14:47,283
The show much go on.
403
00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:50,653
A... am I early for book club?
404
00:14:50,689 --> 00:14:51,821
No, you're late!
405
00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:53,483
And that's two weeks in a row!
406
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:54,824
You're out!
407
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,860
I didn't read it anyway.
408
00:14:58,804 --> 00:15:02,105
?
409
00:15:02,141 --> 00:15:03,740
Steve: Wh-wh... where am I?
410
00:15:03,776 --> 00:15:06,510
I-I... I can't move. Or talk.
411
00:15:06,545 --> 00:15:07,747
I'm paralyzed.
412
00:15:07,901 --> 00:15:13,471
? And when I wake up,
I put on my makeup ?
413
00:15:13,506 --> 00:15:16,641
? And kill a little bit for you ?
414
00:15:16,676 --> 00:15:18,643
No. This can't be real.
415
00:15:18,678 --> 00:15:20,444
This can't be real!
416
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,380
Oh, it's real all right.
417
00:15:23,062 --> 00:15:24,261
I can't hear your thoughts.
418
00:15:24,297 --> 00:15:25,696
I'm just assuming you're all like,
419
00:15:25,731 --> 00:15:26,997
"This can't be real! No!"
420
00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:29,066
You wanted to get back at A.J.
421
00:15:29,101 --> 00:15:31,035
You wanted to win the talent show.
422
00:15:31,070 --> 00:15:32,303
Don't you see?
423
00:15:32,338 --> 00:15:35,372
Dudley Dingleberry was inside you...
424
00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:37,308
- [Knock on door]
- Lewis: Five minutes, Smith!
425
00:15:37,343 --> 00:15:39,276
[Badly imitating Steve] Uh...
okie-dokie, Principal Loomis!
426
00:15:39,312 --> 00:15:40,978
Lewis: That's you all right!
427
00:15:41,013 --> 00:15:42,413
[Normal voice] Show time.
428
00:15:42,448 --> 00:15:46,317
[Weakly] You... can't... do... this.
429
00:15:46,352 --> 00:15:48,285
You're ruining the trick, Steve.
430
00:15:48,321 --> 00:15:51,055
I can see your lips move.
431
00:15:52,591 --> 00:15:54,491
[Applause]
432
00:15:54,527 --> 00:15:56,427
Good evening, ladies and gents!
433
00:15:56,462 --> 00:15:59,496
Our should I say "wood evening"?
434
00:15:59,532 --> 00:16:00,965
[Laughter]
435
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,366
He's so good
436
00:16:02,401 --> 00:16:04,468
he's doing the act with
his mouth taped shut!
437
00:16:04,503 --> 00:16:07,638
I'm absolutely losing my mind here!
438
00:16:07,673 --> 00:16:10,841
So, I just heard my grandpa died...
439
00:16:10,876 --> 00:16:13,010
of Dutch elm disease!
440
00:16:13,045 --> 00:16:17,247
[Laughter]
441
00:16:17,283 --> 00:16:18,749
Chip on my shoulder?
442
00:16:18,784 --> 00:16:20,484
That is my shoulder!
443
00:16:20,519 --> 00:16:25,422
[Laughter]
444
00:16:25,458 --> 00:16:28,492
I've been told I can be
a real son of a birch.
445
00:16:28,527 --> 00:16:31,462
[Laughter]
446
00:16:31,497 --> 00:16:33,130
Look at this audience. My God.
447
00:16:33,165 --> 00:16:35,232
I never realized I was so poplar.
448
00:16:35,267 --> 00:16:36,967
Poplar is a kind of tree.
449
00:16:37,003 --> 00:16:38,302
[Laughter]
450
00:16:38,337 --> 00:16:42,373
Teak, oak, balsa, mahogany!
451
00:16:43,075 --> 00:16:45,175
This is what I live for!
452
00:16:45,211 --> 00:16:46,910
[Laughs]
453
00:16:46,946 --> 00:16:47,959
Steve: Oh, my God.
454
00:16:47,959 --> 00:16:51,548
I'm... winning.
455
00:16:53,386 --> 00:16:55,819
No. I have to stop Roger.
456
00:16:55,855 --> 00:16:57,888
But how?
457
00:16:57,923 --> 00:16:59,823
[Laughter]
458
00:16:59,859 --> 00:17:01,125
That's it!
459
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,361
[Laughter]
460
00:17:04,397 --> 00:17:07,031
[Pencil scratching]
461
00:17:07,066 --> 00:17:08,165
[Gasps]
462
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,234
I'm in love with you too, Steve!
463
00:17:10,269 --> 00:17:12,636
I've always loved you!
464
00:17:12,671 --> 00:17:14,004
Oh, yeah.
465
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:15,906
I don't know Morse code.
466
00:17:16,308 --> 00:17:18,542
That's our show! Wood night!
467
00:17:18,577 --> 00:17:19,977
[Laughter]
468
00:17:20,012 --> 00:17:22,079
[Chuckles] "Mahogany."
469
00:17:22,114 --> 00:17:22,923
Uh, Dad?
470
00:17:22,923 --> 00:17:24,681
I'm a little worried about Mom.
471
00:17:24,717 --> 00:17:25,716
She's fine.
472
00:17:25,751 --> 00:17:27,114
Just swab her with a little more of
473
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,857
our patented, homemade poultice.
474
00:17:28,857 --> 00:17:30,487
Available in the lobby!
475
00:17:30,523 --> 00:17:33,057
[Monstrous, plaintive moaning]
476
00:17:33,092 --> 00:17:34,324
That's it.
477
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,027
Really let those onion skins go to work.
478
00:17:37,063 --> 00:17:38,328
Congratulations, Steve.
479
00:17:38,364 --> 00:17:40,964
Despite all your efforts
to remain a loser,
480
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,132
I made you a winner.
481
00:17:42,168 --> 00:17:43,667
Oh, crap.
482
00:17:44,837 --> 00:17:46,303
All tuckered out, huh?
483
00:17:46,338 --> 00:17:47,838
Well, wish me luck.
484
00:17:48,441 --> 00:17:50,874
[Ominous music plays]
485
00:17:50,910 --> 00:17:52,876
- [Door locks]
- Did you see that tank?
486
00:17:52,912 --> 00:17:55,079
Looks like Snot's bringing his "A" game.
487
00:17:55,114 --> 00:17:56,814
I hadn't really considered him a threat,
488
00:17:56,849 --> 00:17:59,650
which is why he's one of the
only other contestants left.
489
00:17:59,685 --> 00:18:00,502
Well, not to worry.
490
00:18:00,502 --> 00:18:03,153
An escape act loses its impact...
491
00:18:03,189 --> 00:18:05,656
if you can't escape.
492
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:09,760
[Strained] Roger, no!
493
00:18:10,396 --> 00:18:11,695
Hmm.
494
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:14,231
Looks like the paralyzing
agent is starting to wear off.
495
00:18:14,266 --> 00:18:16,667
I think I better make sure you stay put.
496
00:18:16,702 --> 00:18:17,768
Just...
497
00:18:18,871 --> 00:18:20,037
...in case.
498
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:21,672
There.
499
00:18:21,707 --> 00:18:23,807
I had to pause for a full minute
in the middle of my sentence,
500
00:18:23,843 --> 00:18:25,008
but it was worth it.
501
00:18:25,044 --> 00:18:26,777
Now to kill Snot!
502
00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:28,479
Aah! Aah!
503
00:18:28,514 --> 00:18:31,515
And now The Great Shmuel-dini
504
00:18:31,550 --> 00:18:34,885
shall attempt an escape
from a watery death!
505
00:18:36,355 --> 00:18:39,590
[Dramatic music plays]
506
00:18:47,933 --> 00:18:49,867
Snot: Any escape artist worth his salt
507
00:18:49,902 --> 00:18:52,302
will have a bobby pin
somewhere on his person
508
00:18:52,338 --> 00:18:53,804
at all times.
509
00:18:53,839 --> 00:18:56,373
Lucky for me,
I always wear a bobby pin in my hair
510
00:18:56,408 --> 00:18:58,642
to keep my gorgeous
bangs out of my eyes.
511
00:18:59,145 --> 00:19:00,611
[Groans]
512
00:19:00,646 --> 00:19:02,479
[Blows]
513
00:19:02,515 --> 00:19:06,817
[Dramatic music playing]
514
00:19:06,852 --> 00:19:08,585
Good old broomstick.
515
00:19:08,621 --> 00:19:09,686
Mwah!
516
00:19:09,722 --> 00:19:12,756
?
517
00:19:14,727 --> 00:19:16,160
[Latch rattles]
518
00:19:16,195 --> 00:19:19,096
?
519
00:19:19,131 --> 00:19:21,365
[Muffled shout]
520
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,366
[Audience gasps]
521
00:19:22,401 --> 00:19:24,001
Now remember, folks,
522
00:19:24,036 --> 00:19:25,502
his intention is to live.
523
00:19:25,538 --> 00:19:28,772
So if he drowns,
he loses the talent show.
524
00:19:28,807 --> 00:19:31,175
?
525
00:19:31,210 --> 00:19:32,709
[Laughing evilly]
526
00:19:34,113 --> 00:19:36,146
- [Gurgling]
- [Audience gasps]
527
00:19:36,182 --> 00:19:37,328
It's too late, Steve!
528
00:19:37,328 --> 00:19:39,950
You can't save Snot with
those gimpy legs of yours,
529
00:19:39,985 --> 00:19:43,120
so you might as well just
sit back and enjoy the show.
530
00:19:43,155 --> 00:19:47,024
?
531
00:19:47,059 --> 00:19:49,226
I've got to break that glass.
532
00:19:49,261 --> 00:19:51,695
?
533
00:19:52,398 --> 00:19:54,765
- Hey! Dingleberry!
- Yes?
534
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,967
I may be paralyzed right now,
535
00:19:57,002 --> 00:19:58,769
but you'll always be...
536
00:19:58,804 --> 00:20:00,704
a dummy!
537
00:20:02,241 --> 00:20:05,309
Say that one more time.
538
00:20:06,212 --> 00:20:07,411
- I...
- [Gunshot]
539
00:20:07,446 --> 00:20:10,547
[Slow-motion scream]
540
00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:12,950
[Glass shatters]
541
00:20:12,985 --> 00:20:13,917
[Inhales sharply]
542
00:20:13,953 --> 00:20:14,918
[Audience gasps]
543
00:20:14,954 --> 00:20:16,620
[Shuddering weakly]
544
00:20:16,655 --> 00:20:18,589
What? How did I get here?
545
00:20:18,624 --> 00:20:21,091
Oh my, God, Somebody shot Steve!
546
00:20:21,126 --> 00:20:23,427
Oh, my God! I shot Steve!
547
00:20:23,963 --> 00:20:26,230
- [Screams]
- Oh, no way. Gross.
548
00:20:26,265 --> 00:20:27,965
Okay, come on.
549
00:20:31,203 --> 00:20:33,670
Oh, yeah. Now I remember.
550
00:20:33,706 --> 00:20:36,106
That's why I don't do
this character anymore.
551
00:20:36,141 --> 00:20:37,541
That makeup makes me crazy.
552
00:20:37,576 --> 00:20:38,809
Really should've just flipped
553
00:20:38,844 --> 00:20:40,811
a few more pages into the old scrapbook.
554
00:20:40,846 --> 00:20:41,912
And I learned...
555
00:20:41,947 --> 00:20:43,547
Now to make sure this makeup
556
00:20:43,582 --> 00:20:46,817
never causes anybody harm ever again!
557
00:20:46,852 --> 00:20:49,086
- [Door opens]
- _
558
00:20:49,121 --> 00:20:50,587
[Door closes]
559
00:20:56,051 --> 00:20:58,074
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
560
00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:02,674
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36902
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