Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,575 --> 00:00:06,281
I've been so distracted lately,
2
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:07,881
mainly thinking about my marriage and...
3
00:00:07,934 --> 00:00:09,792
and blah, blah, blah.
You'll never leave him.
4
00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:10,941
Now focus up, girl!
5
00:00:10,966 --> 00:00:12,067
You're right!
6
00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:13,687
It's foolish to be talking at all
7
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,822
when you bring out one
of your A-list personas.
8
00:00:15,858 --> 00:00:18,282
I mean, it's so rare for
the Samantha Kingsbury
9
00:00:18,317 --> 00:00:20,327
to make an appearance.
10
00:00:20,362 --> 00:00:22,929
Please, you sound just like my
ski instructor in St. Moritz.
11
00:00:22,965 --> 00:00:25,465
I don't know if I can
winter there again...
12
00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:28,268
Who is that?
13
00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:30,544
Her? That's Meredith Fields.
14
00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:34,044
She's the most interesting and
fabulous woman in Langley Falls.
15
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,510
She can't be all that
if I, Samantha Kingsbury,
16
00:00:36,545 --> 00:00:37,644
never heard of her.
17
00:00:37,679 --> 00:00:39,479
Meredith's pretty amazing.
18
00:00:39,515 --> 00:00:41,748
She runs the best book club in town.
19
00:00:41,784 --> 00:00:43,250
[Scoffs] Book club.
20
00:00:43,285 --> 00:00:44,885
I pretend skied in Switzerland.
21
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,854
And she runs a charity to raise...
22
00:00:47,890 --> 00:00:49,289
Awareness.
23
00:00:49,324 --> 00:00:50,624
[Scoffs] Charities.
24
00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,692
It's all about podcasts these days.
25
00:00:52,728 --> 00:00:54,958
She's even got time for the homeless.
26
00:00:54,993 --> 00:00:57,564
Time? I have sex with the homeless!
27
00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,567
Roger, she's married to a dentist.
28
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:01,601
[Gasps]
29
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,083
I can't believe you haven't met her.
30
00:01:06,118 --> 00:01:09,743
Correction, she can't
believe she hasn't met me.
31
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,182
Observe.
32
00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:13,526
Excuse me.
33
00:01:13,528 --> 00:01:14,581
Thank you.
34
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:17,050
Oh, I just adore the service here.
35
00:01:17,085 --> 00:01:20,003
Can I trouble you for a glass of water?
36
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:34,684
Thank you.
37
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,403
Uh, before I order,
38
00:01:36,438 --> 00:01:38,638
you might want to get that couple first.
39
00:01:38,674 --> 00:01:40,340
They were here before me.
40
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,043
Holy shit!
41
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:03,663
She is amazing!
42
00:02:03,699 --> 00:02:05,031
She thought I worked here.
43
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,666
You kind of do.
44
00:02:10,206 --> 00:02:12,973
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
45
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,842
Good morning, U.S.A.
46
00:02:15,894 --> 00:02:19,429
I got a feelin' that it's
gonna be a wonderful day
47
00:02:19,481 --> 00:02:22,432
The Sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
48
00:02:22,484 --> 00:02:26,486
and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
49
00:02:28,574 --> 00:02:32,025
oh, boy, it's swell to say
50
00:02:32,077 --> 00:02:34,694
good... good morning, U.S.A.
51
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,029
Aah!
52
00:02:37,082 --> 00:02:40,033
Good morning, U.S.A.
53
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:46,673
Whew! That crossfit workout was amazing.
54
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,708
Coach Trey is awesome!
55
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,127
Remember when he put a
protein bar against his crotch
56
00:02:51,179 --> 00:02:53,013
and pretended to Jack off
all over the yoga class?
57
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,097
So funny.
58
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:57,083
Oh, crossfit kicks so much ass!
59
00:02:57,119 --> 00:02:59,019
Give it a rest, Klaus.
You're not a crossfitter.
60
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,587
Yeah, but I'm totally gonna hit it
61
00:03:00,622 --> 00:03:01,723
when my shoulder feels better.
62
00:03:01,759 --> 00:03:02,731
Sure, fish.
63
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:06,142
Guys, check out my abs. Jeff, hit me!
64
00:03:06,194 --> 00:03:07,944
- Now me!
- [Gasps]
65
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,213
Okay, plan...
66
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,607
we hit it hard today,
so let's say we relax,
67
00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:13,659
grab some protein,
then hit the sack early
68
00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,528
so we can crush tomorrow's workout.
69
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:18,614
Oh, yeah. I'm already hooked.
70
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,951
I am in for the swole enchilada.
71
00:03:21,953 --> 00:03:25,872
[All sigh]
72
00:03:25,924 --> 00:03:28,457
[Gasps]
73
00:03:28,493 --> 00:03:29,375
No!
74
00:03:29,427 --> 00:03:30,293
No!
75
00:03:30,345 --> 00:03:31,427
No!
76
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:32,795
Roger, what are you doing?
77
00:03:32,847 --> 00:03:34,448
Samantha Kingsbury may not have been
78
00:03:34,484 --> 00:03:36,125
as fabulous as Meredith Fields,
79
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,544
but there has to be a persona
in here that could beat her.
80
00:03:39,103 --> 00:03:41,637
PTA rock star Mike Babcock...
81
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,473
the cool dad every mom at
school wants to sleep with.
82
00:03:44,526 --> 00:03:45,892
I mean, bang.
83
00:03:45,944 --> 00:03:48,311
Nobody's sleeping when
Mike comes a-creeping.
84
00:03:48,313 --> 00:03:49,529
Nope.
85
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:51,301
I'm just gonna have
to start from scratch.
86
00:03:51,336 --> 00:03:52,565
Come on, you'll drive.
87
00:03:54,343 --> 00:03:55,384
Where are we?
88
00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:56,786
Now you're asking?
89
00:03:57,683 --> 00:03:59,623
You're a real odd duck, Francine.
90
00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,991
Anyway, this is my
magical persona factory.
91
00:04:04,462 --> 00:04:05,828
Oh, my god!
92
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:09,415
Funny you mention him. This
is where he was created.
93
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:11,503
Or, rather, she.
94
00:04:11,505 --> 00:04:13,469
No, he. God's a he.
95
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:14,971
And he's white.
96
00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:21,124
Francine: Roger, I have to ask...
97
00:04:21,176 --> 00:04:22,175
[Bleats]
98
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:24,043
What is your electric bill?
99
00:04:24,045 --> 00:04:25,261
Don't worry about it.
100
00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:27,013
[Electricity crackling]
101
00:04:29,351 --> 00:04:31,935
All my characters are conceived here.
102
00:04:31,970 --> 00:04:34,887
I'm sure you recognize
some of my best work.
103
00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:37,890
And now, my best work
needs to be better!
104
00:04:37,943 --> 00:04:41,311
Like a chef, I must pick
the finest ingredients.
105
00:04:41,363 --> 00:04:44,388
All my work has led me to this moment...
106
00:04:45,283 --> 00:04:48,540
The most fabulous
persona I've ever birthed.
107
00:04:49,571 --> 00:04:52,622
And dry ice for effect.
108
00:04:52,657 --> 00:04:54,958
Get ready to meet...
109
00:04:54,993 --> 00:04:56,576
Raider Dave!
110
00:04:56,628 --> 00:04:57,827
Oh, overcooked it.
111
00:04:57,879 --> 00:04:59,963
Boy, you add just one
ingredient too many,
112
00:04:59,998 --> 00:05:01,748
and you end up raider Dave...
113
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:02,915
every time.
114
00:05:05,754 --> 00:05:08,666
All right, time for the morning work...
115
00:05:08,701 --> 00:05:09,941
ouch!
116
00:05:10,342 --> 00:05:12,429
My body... it's dead!
117
00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:15,502
Oh, my god! Why can't I move?!
118
00:05:15,554 --> 00:05:17,477
It must be from crossfit.
119
00:05:18,024 --> 00:05:18,902
Jeff?!
120
00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:21,112
Down here. I'm stuck, too.
121
00:05:21,137 --> 00:05:24,604
Do I hear that correctly?
122
00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:28,177
The entire family is unable to move?
123
00:05:28,179 --> 00:05:29,779
Klaus, thank god! Help us!
124
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:34,280
Oh, no. Klaus is in charge now.
125
00:05:34,316 --> 00:05:36,783
I can finally have that birthday party
126
00:05:36,818 --> 00:05:39,085
you didn't let me have two years ago.
127
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,820
We never stopped you from...
128
00:05:40,855 --> 00:05:43,089
yes! The party!
129
00:05:43,124 --> 00:05:45,842
It'll be my party,
130
00:05:45,877 --> 00:05:47,759
with my favorite food.
131
00:05:47,761 --> 00:05:49,361
My favorite drink.
132
00:05:49,363 --> 00:05:52,619
And everybody's favorite song!
133
00:05:52,654 --> 00:05:54,350
No! Klaus!
134
00:05:54,386 --> 00:05:56,352
I like to move it, move it
135
00:05:56,388 --> 00:05:58,204
-
I like to move it, move it
- My ears!
136
00:05:58,239 --> 00:05:59,772
-
Ya like to move it
- It burns!
137
00:05:59,808 --> 00:06:00,390
[Music stops]
138
00:06:00,415 --> 00:06:03,199
Oh, I can't do this to you guys...
139
00:06:03,235 --> 00:06:06,012
Without jacking that bass!
140
00:06:06,047 --> 00:06:07,814
-
... move it, move it
- [All screaming]
141
00:06:07,816 --> 00:06:09,315
I like to move it, move it
142
00:06:09,317 --> 00:06:11,234
I like to move it, move it
143
00:06:11,286 --> 00:06:13,820
[Classical music playing]
144
00:06:13,872 --> 00:06:16,656
Let's thank Sandra for
her choice this month.
145
00:06:16,658 --> 00:06:18,791
"Little Women" was just a delight.
146
00:06:18,827 --> 00:06:21,878
By the end, after all Jo
and the girls went through,
147
00:06:21,913 --> 00:06:23,830
it should called "Big Women."
148
00:06:23,832 --> 00:06:26,999
Big Women? Try huge.
149
00:06:29,838 --> 00:06:31,087
Mm.
150
00:06:31,139 --> 00:06:32,922
Cecilia Takaru's the name.
151
00:06:32,974 --> 00:06:35,758
Born on a sleigh ride
outside St. Petersburg.
152
00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:37,393
Closer to Tampa, actually.
153
00:06:37,429 --> 00:06:39,729
Or as us tampons like to call it,
154
00:06:39,764 --> 00:06:40,980
home of Hulk Hogan.
155
00:06:41,015 --> 00:06:43,232
- [Laughter]
- My goodness, what a gas.
156
00:06:43,268 --> 00:06:45,735
Studied literature at
space camp for four years,
157
00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:47,687
which, naturally, led me to franchise
158
00:06:47,689 --> 00:06:49,155
the chimdale Ikea.
159
00:06:49,190 --> 00:06:52,358
Not a stress-free job,
but I have a handle on it.
160
00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:55,278
Sorry, I blacked out.
161
00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:57,196
Oh, yeah, "Little Women."
162
00:06:57,248 --> 00:06:58,830
Alcott called it "Little Women"
163
00:06:58,883 --> 00:07:01,745
because she was challenging
the male-centric "Huck Finn"
164
00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:04,395
and the role of females
in a post-colonial America.
165
00:07:04,447 --> 00:07:06,706
Wow. Welcome, Cecilia.
166
00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:10,259
I'm not familiar with
the space camp curriculum,
167
00:07:10,295 --> 00:07:11,878
but wasn't "Little Women"
168
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,464
published 20 years before "Huck Finn"?
169
00:07:16,384 --> 00:07:20,052
In... in space, time is very fluid.
170
00:07:20,105 --> 00:07:22,488
As Einstein hypothesized,
171
00:07:22,524 --> 00:07:24,257
stuff from earlier...
172
00:07:24,292 --> 00:07:27,860
Might actually be from later.
173
00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:29,112
Pull it together.
174
00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:31,864
Einstein's theory of relativity.
175
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:36,119
And to come up with that
riding a strassenbahn in Vienna.
176
00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:40,127
I'd say it was a greater leap
for mankind than the moonwalk.
177
00:07:40,973 --> 00:07:42,408
[Retches]
178
00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:44,911
[Tires squeal]
179
00:07:47,415 --> 00:07:49,415
Roger, what are you doing?
180
00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:51,384
Cecilia Takaru is a lie!
181
00:07:51,419 --> 00:07:53,588
All of these personas are lies!
182
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,198
Well, yeah.
183
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,017
Masks!
184
00:07:56,053 --> 00:07:58,568
They cover up the fact
that I'm empty inside!
185
00:07:58,620 --> 00:08:00,176
Roger, that's not true!
186
00:08:00,228 --> 00:08:02,261
It took meeting someone
as real as Meredith
187
00:08:02,313 --> 00:08:04,063
for me to see I'm like an onion.
188
00:08:04,098 --> 00:08:06,229
When you peel away the
layers, there's nothing left...
189
00:08:06,792 --> 00:08:08,468
except tears!
190
00:08:08,503 --> 00:08:09,502
[Sobbing]
191
00:08:12,941 --> 00:08:13,906
Aah!
192
00:08:13,942 --> 00:08:16,359
What are you doing?! No!
193
00:08:18,182 --> 00:08:20,947
Die! All of you!
194
00:08:20,999 --> 00:08:23,282
This is agony!
195
00:08:23,284 --> 00:08:25,029
I programmed them to feel burning.
196
00:08:25,326 --> 00:08:28,003
Back to crazy! Aah!
197
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:31,090
[Screaming]
198
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:35,845
Why would you do this?
199
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,537
That was your life's work!
200
00:08:37,562 --> 00:08:39,298
That life is over.
201
00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:41,133
I'm done creating characters!
202
00:08:41,169 --> 00:08:42,957
I'm gonna live the rest of my days
203
00:08:42,982 --> 00:08:45,805
as the most boring
person on the planet...
204
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,073
Me.
205
00:08:47,108 --> 00:08:49,342
Well, you have to put on something.
206
00:08:49,377 --> 00:08:52,137
I can't drive you around
looking like an alien.
207
00:08:52,172 --> 00:08:54,480
Fine!
208
00:08:54,532 --> 00:08:56,482
Drive. Take me nowhere.
209
00:08:56,518 --> 00:08:58,926
It's the only place a nobody belongs.
210
00:08:58,962 --> 00:09:02,421
[Sobbing]
211
00:09:02,457 --> 00:09:03,956
[Car door closes]
212
00:09:03,992 --> 00:09:06,242
[Sirens wailing]
213
00:09:06,294 --> 00:09:09,128
[Explosion, glass shatters]
214
00:09:11,789 --> 00:09:14,339
[Roger sobbing]
215
00:09:14,374 --> 00:09:17,092
Oh, Roger, I can hear
you sobbing in there,
216
00:09:17,127 --> 00:09:18,960
and it's breaking my heart.
217
00:09:18,962 --> 00:09:19,824
[Crinkling]
218
00:09:19,849 --> 00:09:22,013
I also hear you rubbing on stuff,
219
00:09:22,049 --> 00:09:23,381
probably our groceries.
220
00:09:23,434 --> 00:09:24,597
Roger: Probably.
221
00:09:24,622 --> 00:09:28,220
Just put on the emergency poncho
and come sit up front with me.
222
00:09:31,108 --> 00:09:33,892
Formless and generic... just like me.
223
00:09:33,944 --> 00:09:36,445
Well, we can zhuzh it up a little.
224
00:09:40,784 --> 00:09:41,950
Much better.
225
00:09:42,522 --> 00:09:44,236
But you need some hair.
226
00:09:45,989 --> 00:09:47,155
Pretty.
227
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:48,840
Ugh.
228
00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:50,872
[Car door closes]
229
00:09:51,161 --> 00:09:53,900
I just know he did
something terrible to this.
230
00:09:55,415 --> 00:09:57,417
[Car door closes]
231
00:10:03,974 --> 00:10:05,307
[All squawk]
232
00:10:12,716 --> 00:10:14,349
Come on, Tony, pick up, pick up.
233
00:10:14,384 --> 00:10:16,718
You've been calling
people all afternoon.
234
00:10:16,753 --> 00:10:19,054
Face it, Klaus, no one's
coming to your party.
235
00:10:19,089 --> 00:10:22,157
Trust me, my boy Tony
always comes through.
236
00:10:22,192 --> 00:10:24,459
Hey, Tony! It's Klaus!
237
00:10:24,495 --> 00:10:26,795
Get your ass over here.
238
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:29,698
There is a par-tay going on!
239
00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:32,318
Yeah, of course I'll
give you the the deets.
240
00:10:32,354 --> 00:10:34,836
See? He wants the deets.
241
00:10:34,872 --> 00:10:36,171
Okay, usual deets.
242
00:10:36,206 --> 00:10:39,140
Personal pepperoni
and small crazy bread.
243
00:10:39,176 --> 00:10:40,742
45 minutes!
244
00:10:40,777 --> 00:10:43,745
Oh, he can't wait to party!
245
00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:46,214
That's Tony, bro!
246
00:10:48,886 --> 00:10:51,219
I got a double half-caff cappuccino,
247
00:10:51,255 --> 00:10:52,387
extra whip for...
248
00:10:52,422 --> 00:10:54,222
Wait a second, there's no name.
249
00:10:54,258 --> 00:10:56,725
That's me. I don't deserve a name.
250
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,093
Gah! This is awful!
251
00:10:58,128 --> 00:11:00,414
Do you know who I am? Make it again...
252
00:11:00,898 --> 00:11:01,997
For no name.
253
00:11:02,032 --> 00:11:04,065
Why don't you just go by Roger?
254
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:05,450
There is no Roger.
255
00:11:05,485 --> 00:11:07,786
Roger is just a collection
of phony persona's
256
00:11:07,821 --> 00:11:09,738
to cover up an emptiness inside.
257
00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:10,989
You're not empty inside.
258
00:11:11,041 --> 00:11:12,874
You've just forgotten who you are
259
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:15,343
'cause you spend so much
time being other people.
260
00:11:15,379 --> 00:11:18,313
So what's a person do when
they've forgotten who they are?
261
00:11:18,348 --> 00:11:19,915
You could...
262
00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:21,991
Volunteer for something.
263
00:11:22,026 --> 00:11:23,945
They say the best way to find yourself
264
00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:25,563
is in the service of others.
265
00:11:26,006 --> 00:11:27,172
"Awareness.
266
00:11:27,224 --> 00:11:28,990
A-where's yours?"
267
00:11:29,026 --> 00:11:30,308
[Chuckles] That's clever.
268
00:11:30,344 --> 00:11:31,843
This speaks to me.
269
00:11:31,895 --> 00:11:35,008
That's the flier for
Meredith's charity gala.
270
00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:37,020
I don't think you should
be around the woman
271
00:11:37,073 --> 00:11:38,934
who's got you wearing
a mop on your head.
272
00:11:38,969 --> 00:11:40,798
She's exactly who I should be around,
273
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,825
'cause she knows exactly who she is.
274
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,489
Ooh, phone Jack installation.
275
00:11:44,524 --> 00:11:47,108
This guy sounds like he
knows who he is as well.
276
00:11:47,110 --> 00:11:49,277
Hmm, so it's down to these two.
277
00:11:49,279 --> 00:11:50,812
Piano lessons?!
278
00:11:50,847 --> 00:11:53,114
Wait, don't park in the CVS parking lot?
279
00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:55,951
This board is just
knocking my socks off!
280
00:11:58,455 --> 00:11:59,554
Okay, so...
281
00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:02,057
You take your water bottle, okay,
282
00:12:02,092 --> 00:12:04,459
and you just slide the label on.
283
00:12:04,494 --> 00:12:07,095
There. You just raised awareness.
284
00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:09,130
I think I felt it.
285
00:12:09,182 --> 00:12:11,113
Oh. Your bungee cord belt.
286
00:12:11,642 --> 00:12:12,867
[Groans]
287
00:12:13,335 --> 00:12:15,103
Look at your neat belt!
288
00:12:15,138 --> 00:12:17,138
Seems to have traveled on you.
289
00:12:17,174 --> 00:12:18,497
Thank you!
290
00:12:18,532 --> 00:12:20,170
And thank you for your help.
291
00:12:20,512 --> 00:12:21,977
Awareness is the first step
292
00:12:22,012 --> 00:12:25,246
before thinking about caring
about a specific thing.
293
00:12:25,282 --> 00:12:27,182
You crawl before you walk.
294
00:12:27,217 --> 00:12:28,483
Walk before you run.
295
00:12:28,518 --> 00:12:30,054
Pee before you sex!
296
00:12:30,089 --> 00:12:33,204
[Laughs] Someone's got spunk!
297
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,890
You're gonna do just fine.
298
00:12:35,926 --> 00:12:36,925
[Laughs] Oh!
299
00:12:36,977 --> 00:12:39,427
That means so much coming
from someone like you.
300
00:12:39,463 --> 00:12:41,648
Sometimes, I don't have
a lot of confidence.
301
00:12:41,683 --> 00:12:44,532
Don't be silly. You
can be whoever you want.
302
00:12:44,568 --> 00:12:46,034
You're so kind.
303
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,729
May I give you something?
304
00:12:49,389 --> 00:12:52,023
Well, what do we have here?
305
00:12:52,059 --> 00:12:53,341
Triangle.
306
00:12:56,179 --> 00:13:00,348
Now, isn't that a curious
way to look at someone.
307
00:13:00,384 --> 00:13:02,951
[Reel 2 Real's "I Like
to Move It" playing]
308
00:13:02,986 --> 00:13:05,053
Why didn't the pizza guy help us?
309
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,988
'Cause Klaus didn't tip him.
310
00:13:07,024 --> 00:13:08,123
An apple is a tip.
311
00:13:08,158 --> 00:13:09,257
[Doorbell rings]
312
00:13:09,292 --> 00:13:11,359
Thank god, somebody's here! Help!
313
00:13:11,395 --> 00:13:12,627
Yeah, party people!
314
00:13:12,663 --> 00:13:14,946
Help yourselves to some pizza.
315
00:13:14,998 --> 00:13:16,998
If anyone knows how
to make jell-o shots,
316
00:13:17,034 --> 00:13:18,500
there's a half handle of Popov.
317
00:13:18,535 --> 00:13:20,368
Klaus, who the hell are these people?
318
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:22,886
Oh, just some people I know
through my friend Craig.
319
00:13:22,922 --> 00:13:25,540
You might know him. He has his own list.
320
00:13:25,575 --> 00:13:28,943
You invited perverts from
Craigslist into my house?
321
00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:30,945
I like to move it, move it
322
00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:32,447
ya like to move it
323
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:34,315
I like to move it, move it
324
00:13:34,351 --> 00:13:35,550
Babe!
325
00:13:35,552 --> 00:13:37,052
Dealing with my own thing here, Jeff.
326
00:13:37,104 --> 00:13:38,186
My glasses!
327
00:13:38,221 --> 00:13:39,354
Ya like to move it
328
00:13:39,389 --> 00:13:41,306
What's happening?! Something's wet!
329
00:13:41,358 --> 00:13:44,359
Oh, god! Something's wet!
330
00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:47,950
Nice to see you smiling
again and not starting fires.
331
00:13:47,986 --> 00:13:49,809
Did you do something to your hair?
332
00:13:49,861 --> 00:13:51,282
It looks like Meredith's, right?
333
00:13:51,318 --> 00:13:53,234
She says I can be just like her.
334
00:13:56,623 --> 00:13:58,239
Don't forget...
335
00:13:58,291 --> 00:14:00,492
you're supposed to be finding yourself!
336
00:14:00,544 --> 00:14:01,960
Yeah, yeah.
337
00:14:01,995 --> 00:14:03,545
Meredith! Meredith!
338
00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:05,663
Meredith! Meredith, hi!
339
00:14:05,716 --> 00:14:07,583
Oh. Oh, it's you.
340
00:14:07,962 --> 00:14:09,222
Is that my scarf?
341
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:10,635
Did you change your hair?
342
00:14:10,670 --> 00:14:12,552
I don't think so.
343
00:14:12,588 --> 00:14:13,388
Do you like it?!
344
00:14:13,468 --> 00:14:15,056
I have the same haircut.
345
00:14:15,092 --> 00:14:17,435
Uh, Mer, I've got the
band leader on the phone.
346
00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:19,605
I wrote some songs about
awareness. You want to hear 'em?
347
00:14:19,657 --> 00:14:21,735
You're probably already thinking
'em 'cause we're so similar.
348
00:14:21,770 --> 00:14:23,108
Oh, my god, that's so us!
349
00:14:23,143 --> 00:14:24,371
- Meredith?
- Yes?
350
00:14:24,423 --> 00:14:25,667
Yes? I mean... I mean,
why are you asking me?
351
00:14:25,702 --> 00:14:27,837
- I'm not Meredith.
- We have to move up the news plug.
352
00:14:27,889 --> 00:14:29,111
Did you think I was Meredith?
Do I look like Meredith?
353
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:29,836
They need you on the air in five.
354
00:14:29,838 --> 00:14:31,940
Meredith, we've got big banner problems.
355
00:14:31,942 --> 00:14:33,274
Not now. I'm in the middle of something.
356
00:14:33,276 --> 00:14:35,401
Please, can you give us some space?
357
00:14:35,453 --> 00:14:37,153
Yes, can you all give us some space?
358
00:14:38,115 --> 00:14:39,497
Oh, right, sure.
359
00:14:39,533 --> 00:14:40,830
I'll... I'll just go busy myself...
360
00:14:41,456 --> 00:14:43,405
In o trash.
361
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:47,055
That dumpster's got to
be around here somewhere.
362
00:14:47,108 --> 00:14:49,792
Oh! Maybe it's in
Meredith's master bedroom.
363
00:14:49,794 --> 00:14:50,881
I'll just take a quick peek.
364
00:14:55,966 --> 00:14:56,931
[Smooches]
365
00:15:01,772 --> 00:15:03,371
What are you doing?!
366
00:15:03,406 --> 00:15:04,372
Mer-Mer?
367
00:15:04,407 --> 00:15:05,855
Is that my n?glig?e?
368
00:15:05,890 --> 00:15:06,967
I'm so sorry.
369
00:15:07,003 --> 00:15:08,109
I just admire you so much,
370
00:15:08,145 --> 00:15:10,111
and I saw it, and... and... and...
371
00:15:10,147 --> 00:15:11,646
oh, promise me you're not mad!
372
00:15:11,648 --> 00:15:13,663
What?! I'm extremely mad!
373
00:15:13,699 --> 00:15:14,749
We don't even know each other.
374
00:15:14,785 --> 00:15:16,701
- I mean, what's your name?
- Meredith.
375
00:15:16,736 --> 00:15:18,253
But that's my name.
376
00:15:18,288 --> 00:15:19,007
I know!
377
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,895
You told me I could be whoever I want.
378
00:15:20,930 --> 00:15:22,290
And I chose you.
379
00:15:22,325 --> 00:15:23,424
But I'm me.
380
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:25,160
Mm, sorry. You're already taken.
381
00:15:25,162 --> 00:15:26,661
I'd like you to leave right now.
382
00:15:26,663 --> 00:15:28,630
And I'd like you to give me your pants,
383
00:15:28,665 --> 00:15:30,632
because we're so
obviously the same size.
384
00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:32,233
Why are you acting like this?
385
00:15:32,269 --> 00:15:33,768
Gee, I don't know, Meredith two.
386
00:15:33,804 --> 00:15:35,627
Maybe it's because I'm standing here
387
00:15:35,652 --> 00:15:38,590
in my delicates like a crazy person!
388
00:15:38,642 --> 00:15:39,724
[Grunting]
389
00:15:39,759 --> 00:15:42,510
Oh, my god! She's out cold!
390
00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:44,612
What have I done? What do I do?
391
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:47,083
What would Meredith do?
392
00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:48,616
Of course.
393
00:15:49,253 --> 00:15:51,770
The answer's right in front of me.
394
00:15:59,748 --> 00:16:01,814
[Doorbell rings]
395
00:16:01,850 --> 00:16:03,116
Why, hello there!
396
00:16:03,168 --> 00:16:05,215
Sorry to bother,
397
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:07,793
but I'm looking for
one of your volunteers.
398
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,738
She didn't come home last night.
399
00:16:09,773 --> 00:16:10,993
Roger: [As Meredith]
Who's at the door, dear?
400
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,303
Oh, no.
401
00:16:13,093 --> 00:16:14,556
Well, I'll leave you two.
402
00:16:14,596 --> 00:16:17,530
I'm gonna go brush my teeth.
403
00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:20,633
Small circles, light pressure.
404
00:16:20,635 --> 00:16:22,385
[Both moaning]
405
00:16:27,559 --> 00:16:29,976
Roger, what the hell did you do?
406
00:16:29,978 --> 00:16:31,194
Where's Meredith?!
407
00:16:31,229 --> 00:16:33,823
Francine, everything's fine now.
408
00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:36,148
I put her on a barge, and now I'm her.
409
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:37,483
A barge?
410
00:16:37,485 --> 00:16:39,569
You can't take someone's life like this!
411
00:16:39,621 --> 00:16:42,038
Why? Can't it just be
like when we were kids?
412
00:16:42,073 --> 00:16:43,573
Oh, Franny, we'd draw pictures
413
00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:47,086
with red oceans and green
skies and be who we wanted!
414
00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:48,543
And then play in the sprinklers
415
00:16:48,595 --> 00:16:50,026
till Mama called us for supper.
416
00:16:50,028 --> 00:16:52,298
Are you having a stroke right now?
417
00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:54,500
Forget it. I'm stopping this.
418
00:16:54,536 --> 00:16:56,269
That's barge talk, Francine.
419
00:16:56,304 --> 00:16:59,205
Roger, I am not going to sit here and...
420
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,425
[fog horn blares]
421
00:17:02,477 --> 00:17:06,012
Son of a bitch. He barged me.
422
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:10,079
Meredith, are you okay?
423
00:17:10,115 --> 00:17:12,585
Some lunatic kidnapped
me and dumped me here.
424
00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:14,949
Yeah, that's my friend.
425
00:17:14,985 --> 00:17:18,225
She's stolen your life.
She's running your gala.
426
00:17:18,260 --> 00:17:23,095
Oh, and she may be having
relations with your husband.
427
00:17:23,131 --> 00:17:25,197
No! My gala!
428
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:27,250
[Reel 2 Real's "I Like
to Move It" playing]
429
00:17:27,285 --> 00:17:29,168
Klaus, you've got to stop this party.
430
00:17:29,203 --> 00:17:31,037
The perverts have become emboldened.
431
00:17:31,039 --> 00:17:33,256
You've proven your point.
You have a crew, okay?
432
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:34,707
Now stop this!
433
00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:37,543
I don't know what's happening,
but I think I'm moving!
434
00:17:37,595 --> 00:17:39,045
Tell me it's a good guy, please.
435
00:17:39,097 --> 00:17:40,630
Even if it's not true.
436
00:17:40,682 --> 00:17:42,381
-
I like to move it, move it
- [Doll squeaks]
437
00:17:42,433 --> 00:17:44,717
Stan, Hayley, Steve, Jeff!
438
00:17:44,719 --> 00:17:46,116
Trey! Trey! Trey! Trey!
439
00:17:46,118 --> 00:17:47,219
Do I hear Coach Trey?
440
00:17:47,221 --> 00:17:51,190
Party's over. Now
pump up my workout jam.
441
00:17:51,225 --> 00:17:53,059
I like to move it, move it
442
00:17:53,111 --> 00:17:55,227
he like to move it, move it
443
00:17:55,229 --> 00:17:57,113
she like to move it, move it
444
00:17:57,148 --> 00:17:58,698
we like to move it, move it
445
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,366
they like to move it, move it
446
00:18:00,401 --> 00:18:02,368
you like to move it, move it
447
00:18:02,403 --> 00:18:05,235
Three, two, one.
448
00:18:05,271 --> 00:18:06,405
Personal record.
449
00:18:06,457 --> 00:18:08,207
How did you know we were in trouble?
450
00:18:08,242 --> 00:18:10,326
After you didn't show up
for your second workout,
451
00:18:10,378 --> 00:18:11,824
I figured something
like this had happened.
452
00:18:11,859 --> 00:18:13,377
A lot of first-time crossfitters
453
00:18:13,379 --> 00:18:15,381
end up so sore, they can't move.
454
00:18:15,416 --> 00:18:17,133
It's the roofie of physical fitness.
455
00:18:17,168 --> 00:18:18,668
You should tell people
that when they sign up.
456
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,219
Hey, no problem.
457
00:18:20,254 --> 00:18:22,588
Now, I got to go back to my other job...
458
00:18:22,624 --> 00:18:24,757
As a terrible marine biologist.
459
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,144
See ya in the box!
460
00:18:28,179 --> 00:18:30,429
That's what we call the gym!
461
00:18:30,465 --> 00:18:32,598
[Classical music playing]
462
00:18:32,634 --> 00:18:35,501
[Drill whirring]
463
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,072
It's me... Jerry the dentist!
464
00:18:42,074 --> 00:18:43,819
[Cheers and applause]
465
00:18:43,854 --> 00:18:45,456
But tonight is not about me.
466
00:18:45,849 --> 00:18:48,004
Or the number-one
family dental practice
467
00:18:48,029 --> 00:18:50,449
in the Langley-Langston
-chimdale triangle.
468
00:18:50,501 --> 00:18:51,867
[Scattered applause]
469
00:18:51,919 --> 00:18:54,837
Tonight is about my wife.
470
00:18:56,341 --> 00:18:59,175
I give you Meredith Fields.
471
00:18:59,210 --> 00:19:02,178
472
00:19:02,213 --> 00:19:04,547
[Cheers and applause]
473
00:19:08,636 --> 00:19:11,497
Where does awareness come from?
474
00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:17,049
Tell us! Tell us where!
475
00:19:17,101 --> 00:19:18,667
The sky! Everyone look up!
476
00:19:21,616 --> 00:19:22,481
Get him!
477
00:19:22,517 --> 00:19:24,650
[Sirens wailing]
478
00:19:30,129 --> 00:19:31,657
Maniacs!
479
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,414
Hold it right there, imposter!
480
00:19:38,466 --> 00:19:40,416
I'm not the imposter! She is!
481
00:19:47,392 --> 00:19:48,841
Hey!
482
00:19:54,382 --> 00:19:55,414
[Sighs]
483
00:19:55,466 --> 00:19:57,333
Back to being nobody, I guess.
484
00:19:57,385 --> 00:19:59,143
Oh, Franny. How was the barge?
485
00:19:59,168 --> 00:20:00,123
Honestly...
486
00:20:00,638 --> 00:20:01,581
Pretty great.
487
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:03,389
Listen, I'm sorry.
488
00:20:03,424 --> 00:20:06,091
I know I went too far,
but being Meredith,
489
00:20:06,093 --> 00:20:08,644
it just felt so good to be someone real.
490
00:20:08,679 --> 00:20:11,180
But you were nothing like Meredith.
491
00:20:11,232 --> 00:20:13,232
I didn't even do that right.
492
00:20:13,267 --> 00:20:14,600
You were you.
493
00:20:14,652 --> 00:20:17,403
You're always you, no
matter who you're playing.
494
00:20:17,438 --> 00:20:18,664
'Cause the real Roger
495
00:20:18,689 --> 00:20:20,969
is at the core of all your characters.
496
00:20:21,189 --> 00:20:25,077
You are real selfish and real horny
497
00:20:25,112 --> 00:20:28,133
and real violent and real sensitive.
498
00:20:28,169 --> 00:20:30,012
And just really...
499
00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:32,268
Really amazing.
500
00:20:32,349 --> 00:20:33,382
Do you mean it?
501
00:20:33,847 --> 00:20:35,754
Do you honestly think I'm horny?
502
00:20:35,842 --> 00:20:37,353
The horniest.
503
00:20:38,711 --> 00:20:39,844
Thank you, Franny.
504
00:20:39,879 --> 00:20:42,013
You're not so not horny yourself.
505
00:20:42,048 --> 00:20:43,264
Where's the criminal?
506
00:20:43,299 --> 00:20:44,522
He's not a criminal.
507
00:20:44,574 --> 00:20:47,552
Unless it's a crime to
bleed silver and black.
508
00:20:47,587 --> 00:20:49,020
Raider Dave!
509
00:20:49,055 --> 00:20:52,223
This is our year! Raider
Nation will rise again!
510
00:20:52,225 --> 00:20:55,526
[Whooping]
511
00:20:55,576 --> 00:21:00,126
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35174
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
