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1
00:00:11,122 --> 00:00:13,160
[soft jazz music]
2
00:00:13,193 --> 00:00:15,163
[bell jingles]
3
00:00:16,567 --> 00:00:18,637
Uh, name?
4
00:00:20,875 --> 00:00:22,679
[screaming]
5
00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:24,315
[Cyril] Oh, my God.
6
00:00:24,348 --> 00:00:26,152
Well, that's a grim way
to start the morning.
7
00:00:26,185 --> 00:00:27,656
With coffee? Seems normal.
8
00:00:27,689 --> 00:00:29,693
With watching
an assassination.
9
00:00:29,726 --> 00:00:31,797
Technically, we don't know
that it was an assassination.
10
00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:33,868
A drone shot a man in the head!
11
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:36,306
Which makes it
an execution, Cyril.
12
00:00:36,339 --> 00:00:39,178
It's only an assassination
if he was famous.
13
00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:40,749
Connor Fairchild,
former low-level
14
00:00:40,782 --> 00:00:42,418
security guard at IIA.
15
00:00:42,451 --> 00:00:44,489
Ugh, he was
always rude to me.
16
00:00:44,523 --> 00:00:46,694
Well, who can't come
in the commissary
17
00:00:46,727 --> 00:00:49,098
without their badge
now, Mr. Connor?
18
00:00:50,668 --> 00:00:52,338
Is that too dark?
19
00:00:52,371 --> 00:00:54,142
Connor is one of a dozen
former IIA employees
20
00:00:54,175 --> 00:00:56,547
to be killed by drones
in the last 24 hours.
21
00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:58,618
My memory is a little hazy--
22
00:00:58,651 --> 00:01:00,522
Probably from all
the concussions.
23
00:01:00,555 --> 00:01:02,592
-And drinking.
-And elderly dementia.
24
00:01:02,625 --> 00:01:05,832
My memory is a little hazy,
but didn't we beat IIA?
25
00:01:05,865 --> 00:01:07,769
Yes, the organization
was dismantled.
26
00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,573
But until now,
most of the employees
27
00:01:09,606 --> 00:01:11,476
survived, including us.
28
00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:13,280
Technically, I was
never an employee.
29
00:01:13,313 --> 00:01:15,417
I always fill out my start
paperwork incorrectly
30
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,754
so I don't have to pay taxes.
31
00:01:16,787 --> 00:01:19,225
You know that's not
how taxes work, right?
32
00:01:19,258 --> 00:01:21,597
All I know is, I haven't
paid taxes in 20 years
33
00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:23,467
or gone to the dentist.
34
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,170
My point is,
someone has a grudge
35
00:01:25,203 --> 00:01:26,841
against ex-IIA employees.
36
00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:29,379
We need to figure out
who that is and stop them.
37
00:01:29,412 --> 00:01:32,318
And until then, we keep
our heads on a swivel.
38
00:01:32,351 --> 00:01:34,556
-[Ray] Hmm.
-[Lana] Hmm?
39
00:01:34,589 --> 00:01:36,426
Okay, don't shoot
the messenger.
40
00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:37,763
That's the drone's job.
41
00:01:37,796 --> 00:01:40,568
But while I was
secretly temping at IIA--
42
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,371
-[coughs] Double agent.
-Bless you.
43
00:01:42,404 --> 00:01:45,578
Fabian asked me to place
an order for, let's call it,
44
00:01:45,611 --> 00:01:47,448
5,000 weaponized smart drones.
45
00:01:47,481 --> 00:01:48,651
[all] What?
46
00:01:48,684 --> 00:01:50,655
We don't know
that it's related.
47
00:01:50,688 --> 00:01:52,458
But y'all,
it's probably related.
48
00:01:52,491 --> 00:01:54,730
Oh, my God, I do not
have time for this.
49
00:01:54,763 --> 00:01:57,636
The UN is holding hearings
today on private spy agencies,
50
00:01:57,669 --> 00:01:59,305
and I've gotta make
a presentation
51
00:01:59,338 --> 00:02:00,809
about all the good work
that we've done.
52
00:02:00,842 --> 00:02:02,779
Ooh, I wouldn't
show them these videos.
53
00:02:02,812 --> 00:02:05,719
We need to make sure
there are no new videos.
54
00:02:05,752 --> 00:02:07,622
And it seems like
there's only one person
55
00:02:07,655 --> 00:02:08,624
who can help us sort this out.
56
00:02:09,893 --> 00:02:11,663
The dead barista?
57
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:17,676
Well, well, well,
look what the cat vomited up.
58
00:02:17,709 --> 00:02:20,280
Um, that's not how that goes.
59
00:02:21,282 --> 00:02:23,220
Idiot.
60
00:02:23,253 --> 00:02:26,292
[main title theme]
61
00:02:26,325 --> 00:02:33,239
♪ ♪
62
00:03:01,997 --> 00:03:05,270
Sterling Archer. You look old.
63
00:03:05,303 --> 00:03:07,709
And you look imprisoned.
64
00:03:07,742 --> 00:03:10,247
[conspiratorial jazz music]
65
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,817
Is that a squash court?
66
00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:14,556
-What kind of prison is this?
-Uh, Swiss.
67
00:03:14,589 --> 00:03:17,829
Remind me to get imprisoned
for war crimes in Switzerland.
68
00:03:17,862 --> 00:03:20,969
I mean, if I commit war crimes,
which I won't.
69
00:03:21,002 --> 00:03:22,706
Can we make this fast?
70
00:03:22,739 --> 00:03:25,444
We can only reserve
the courts for an hour.
71
00:03:25,477 --> 00:03:27,381
I don't believe we've met.
72
00:03:27,414 --> 00:03:29,586
Zara Khan, formerly Interpol,
currently top agent
73
00:03:29,619 --> 00:03:31,791
-at the Agency.
-What? Says who?
74
00:03:31,824 --> 00:03:32,993
My achievements, dumbass.
75
00:03:33,026 --> 00:03:34,563
Can we focus?
76
00:03:34,596 --> 00:03:36,299
Any reason why drones
might be murdering
77
00:03:36,332 --> 00:03:37,836
everybody who worked for IIA?
78
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:41,577
What? Oh, no-fault severance.
79
00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,446
Should I punch you
before or after
80
00:03:43,479 --> 00:03:44,750
you explain what that means?
81
00:03:44,783 --> 00:03:48,323
At IIA, whenever we needed
to cut ties
82
00:03:48,356 --> 00:03:49,960
with a troublesome employee,
83
00:03:49,993 --> 00:03:52,031
we'd check a little box
in their file
84
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:54,001
called "no-fault severance."
85
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,839
And pop, out flew a drone.
86
00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:58,578
Whatever second-rate
government bureaucrat
87
00:03:58,611 --> 00:04:00,682
that's now
liquidating IIA must--
88
00:04:00,715 --> 00:04:02,586
-ow!
-I got tired of waiting.
89
00:04:02,619 --> 00:04:04,322
But also,
how do we turn them off?
90
00:04:04,355 --> 00:04:05,625
You can't.
91
00:04:05,658 --> 00:04:07,328
The drones are controlled
by an automated
92
00:04:07,361 --> 00:04:08,965
facility in Liechtenstein.
93
00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,902
And I'm the only one
with access.
94
00:04:10,935 --> 00:04:12,438
Great, you're coming with us.
95
00:04:12,471 --> 00:04:14,843
One, not your call.
Two, no, he's not.
96
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:16,647
Three, what achievements, Zara?
97
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,751
I'm afraid you won't get past
98
00:04:18,784 --> 00:04:20,522
the fingerprint scanner
without me.
99
00:04:20,555 --> 00:04:21,891
We will if I cut off your hand.
100
00:04:21,924 --> 00:04:23,628
Well, there's also
a retinal scanner.
101
00:04:23,661 --> 00:04:24,730
And your eye.
102
00:04:24,763 --> 00:04:25,798
And the voice
identification--
103
00:04:25,831 --> 00:04:27,334
And your vocal chords.
104
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,438
At a certain point,
bringing him seems easier
105
00:04:29,471 --> 00:04:30,608
than bringing all these pieces.
106
00:04:30,641 --> 00:04:32,011
We'll put them in a bag.
107
00:04:32,044 --> 00:04:35,450
I'm happy to help
without being dismembered.
108
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:39,893
As a former IIA employee,
I'm a drone target myself.
109
00:04:39,926 --> 00:04:42,498
And I'd prefer to enjoy
my daily bike ride
110
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,903
without being gunned down
from the sky.
111
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,740
Daily bike ride?
112
00:04:46,773 --> 00:04:48,945
How the hell is your prison
life better than my free life?
113
00:04:48,978 --> 00:04:50,480
We still have to break him out.
114
00:04:50,514 --> 00:04:52,384
This is a Swiss prison.
115
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,858
Anyone with Interpol ID can
sign me out for the weekend.
116
00:04:57,394 --> 00:04:59,031
Well, God bless Swiss prisons.
117
00:04:59,064 --> 00:05:00,535
Best in the world.
118
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,739
They really focus
on rehabilitating
119
00:05:02,772 --> 00:05:04,877
-the whole person, you know?
-[handcuffs ratchet]
120
00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:07,381
-What is this?
-Insurance.
121
00:05:07,414 --> 00:05:09,519
This stays on until
you're back in prison.
122
00:05:09,552 --> 00:05:11,523
The whole mission?
What if you gotta take a leak?
123
00:05:11,556 --> 00:05:13,694
-We'll hold it.
-A wise precaution.
124
00:05:13,727 --> 00:05:15,430
But will it be enough?
125
00:05:15,463 --> 00:05:18,069
Even now,
an army of IIA loyalists
126
00:05:18,102 --> 00:05:21,409
is no doubt working
to secure my freedom.
127
00:05:21,442 --> 00:05:22,377
-Hmm. In that case...
-[handcuffs ratchet]
128
00:05:23,547 --> 00:05:24,649
I immediately have to pee.
129
00:05:31,028 --> 00:05:34,101
[drone whirring]
130
00:05:35,136 --> 00:05:36,907
Damn it, window seat.
131
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:38,811
-Pam, go across the aisle.
-No!
132
00:05:38,844 --> 00:05:40,080
I'm not taking the window seat
133
00:05:40,113 --> 00:05:41,784
with killer drones
on the loose.
134
00:05:41,817 --> 00:05:43,086
Also, I still have to pee.
135
00:05:43,119 --> 00:05:44,823
Maybe you should
have thought about this
136
00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:46,961
before you handcuffed yourself
to two people?
137
00:05:46,994 --> 00:05:48,831
Don't tell me what I
should have thought of.
138
00:05:48,864 --> 00:05:50,568
But yeah, maybe.
139
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:53,674
If it's any consolation,
we won't be on the train long.
140
00:05:53,707 --> 00:05:55,712
You seriously think people
are coming to help you?
141
00:05:55,745 --> 00:05:56,880
Why wouldn't they?
142
00:05:56,913 --> 00:05:58,584
Yeah, you know, you weren't
143
00:05:58,617 --> 00:06:00,153
the world's greatest boss,
144
00:06:00,186 --> 00:06:02,993
what with ratting out a lot of
people on your way to prison,
145
00:06:03,026 --> 00:06:04,997
and now sending drones
to kill 'em.
146
00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:07,134
Yeah, not great.
147
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,971
The board sent those drones.
148
00:06:09,004 --> 00:06:12,111
And I only ratted as necessary.
149
00:06:12,144 --> 00:06:14,448
You can fight about it
while I'm in the john.
150
00:06:14,481 --> 00:06:16,452
-Where's the handcuff key?
-[laughs] Oh, I don't have one.
151
00:06:16,485 --> 00:06:17,722
What, why?
152
00:06:17,755 --> 00:06:19,458
I'm committing
to the method, Pam.
153
00:06:19,491 --> 00:06:21,897
The first thing a rescuer will
ask for is a handcuff key.
154
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:24,468
-Or a bone saw.
-No one carries those around.
155
00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:26,607
Fine, I guess we're all
going to the bathroom.
156
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,511
Oh, God, no.
157
00:06:28,544 --> 00:06:29,880
I'm not happy about it, either.
158
00:06:29,913 --> 00:06:32,484
Hey, order us drinks--
lots of drinks.
159
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,623
Ooh, what looks good?
160
00:06:34,656 --> 00:06:36,125
[Lana]
Ugh, I really don't care.
161
00:06:36,158 --> 00:06:38,163
[Cyril] Well, I do.
162
00:06:38,196 --> 00:06:39,933
It's my first time talking
to the United Nations.
163
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,605
Or-or is it before
the United Nations?
164
00:06:42,638 --> 00:06:45,477
Do we address the nations?
Oh, my God. Lana!
165
00:06:45,511 --> 00:06:47,014
Just let me
do the talking, okay?
166
00:06:47,047 --> 00:06:48,884
And relax, all right?
167
00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:51,189
The UN never actually
does anything.
168
00:06:51,222 --> 00:06:55,598
I mean, these people
are total idiots. [laughs]
169
00:06:55,631 --> 00:06:57,067
Do you need
to turn this on or--
170
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,171
It's already on.
171
00:06:59,204 --> 00:07:02,645
[cameras shutters clicking]
172
00:07:02,678 --> 00:07:05,618
Hello, nations.
173
00:07:05,651 --> 00:07:07,021
Nope, that feels wrong.
174
00:07:07,054 --> 00:07:09,058
[Pam] I'm trying my best,
you dicks.
175
00:07:09,091 --> 00:07:10,928
I don't think these bathrooms
were designed
176
00:07:10,961 --> 00:07:12,532
for three people
handcuffed together.
177
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,636
And I don't think sarcasm
makes this process faster.
178
00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:16,039
Are you done?
179
00:07:16,072 --> 00:07:18,043
-[Pam] Haven't even started yet.
-What?
180
00:07:18,076 --> 00:07:20,080
[Pam] Tell this guy to stop
peeking through the cracks!
181
00:07:20,113 --> 00:07:23,688
I can't help where my head is
based on where my arms are.
182
00:07:23,721 --> 00:07:26,660
[tense music]
183
00:07:26,693 --> 00:07:31,503
♪ ♪
184
00:07:31,536 --> 00:07:33,774
Whatever you're doing in there,
185
00:07:33,807 --> 00:07:35,978
I promise
there's an easier way.
186
00:07:36,011 --> 00:07:37,982
[Pam] How's this way?
187
00:07:38,015 --> 00:07:40,087
Huh, are we slowing down?
188
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,592
Yes, it's the end of the line.
189
00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:44,930
Carlotta, my loyal number two,
190
00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:48,203
come to my unnecessary
but grateful res--
191
00:07:48,236 --> 00:07:50,107
-Someone's in here!
-We gotta get out of here!
192
00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:52,946
After Pamela washes her hands.
193
00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:54,783
I didn't touch anything.
194
00:07:54,816 --> 00:07:56,687
Carlotta, watch your fire.
195
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,559
She's shooting at you, moron.
Come on.
196
00:07:59,592 --> 00:08:02,699
-[grunts] what's the problem?
-I'm not leaving.
197
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,536
You got three seconds, asshole.
198
00:08:04,569 --> 00:08:06,005
And I'm shooting
your elbow in one.
199
00:08:06,038 --> 00:08:08,878
Okay, okay.
Carlotta, they're trying to--
200
00:08:08,911 --> 00:08:11,181
[all grunting]
201
00:08:13,252 --> 00:08:15,758
-[Archer] You're welcome.
-For what?
202
00:08:15,791 --> 00:08:18,597
-For rescuing you.
-They were rescuing me.
203
00:08:18,630 --> 00:08:21,035
What?
They were trying to kill you.
204
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,741
Says the man who pulled me
out of a moving train.
205
00:08:23,774 --> 00:08:25,845
Well, you're alive, aren't you?
206
00:08:25,878 --> 00:08:28,016
Guys, I don't think
this tree is...
207
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,955
[all screaming]
208
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,223
Nope, it's not.
209
00:08:37,234 --> 00:08:39,171
They were obviously
trying to assassinate you.
210
00:08:39,204 --> 00:08:42,879
What possible reason would
my employees have to kill me?
211
00:08:42,912 --> 00:08:44,248
I think we're clear for now.
212
00:08:44,281 --> 00:08:45,585
Uh, how about,
you made their lives miserable
213
00:08:45,618 --> 00:08:47,187
and they hate you?
214
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:50,360
The brightest emerald is forged
in the hardest granite.
215
00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:52,665
Hey, can we focus
on the real problem?
216
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,001
Being lost in the woods?
217
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,339
Hmm, the ex-IIA hit squad
coming for us?
218
00:08:56,372 --> 00:08:58,276
-The drones?
-Oh, right.
219
00:08:58,309 --> 00:09:00,280
Yeah, and if that hit squad--
220
00:09:00,313 --> 00:09:01,917
AKA rescue squad.
221
00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:04,021
AKA, you're delusional.
222
00:09:04,054 --> 00:09:05,691
If the hit squad kills Fabian,
223
00:09:05,724 --> 00:09:06,994
he can't deactivate the drones,
224
00:09:07,027 --> 00:09:08,631
and they'll kill all of us.
225
00:09:08,664 --> 00:09:11,135
So by the transitive property,
226
00:09:11,168 --> 00:09:13,006
you must keep me alive.
227
00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:14,843
That's not
the transitive property.
228
00:09:14,876 --> 00:09:16,980
It's a contrapositive
conditional.
229
00:09:17,013 --> 00:09:18,851
Well, on the bright side,
Ray and Zara
230
00:09:18,884 --> 00:09:20,153
are probably already
coming for us.
231
00:09:20,186 --> 00:09:22,024
[Ray] Oh, my God!
232
00:09:22,057 --> 00:09:24,028
Look at those mountains.
233
00:09:24,061 --> 00:09:26,132
-Um, Zara?
-[Zara gulps, gasps]
234
00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,002
The drinks on this train
are free.
235
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:29,706
I got one for you,
but then I drank it.
236
00:09:29,739 --> 00:09:31,610
These are for me.
237
00:09:31,643 --> 00:09:32,979
Hey, whenever y'all
are done whispering
238
00:09:33,012 --> 00:09:35,283
and pointing at shit,
can you bring me a mimosa?
239
00:09:35,316 --> 00:09:36,620
[plates clatter]
240
00:09:36,653 --> 00:09:38,223
Um, where are they going?
241
00:09:38,256 --> 00:09:40,126
[Pam] To Liechtenstein!
242
00:09:40,159 --> 00:09:42,197
We're walking
to another country?
243
00:09:42,230 --> 00:09:43,868
Unless you have a better idea.
244
00:09:43,901 --> 00:09:45,638
Uh, yeah,
let the drones kill us.
245
00:09:45,671 --> 00:09:47,374
I have an even better idea.
246
00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:49,880
I defeat you in unarmed combat
247
00:09:49,913 --> 00:09:52,384
and reunite with my cadre
of faithfuls.
248
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,823
Get your hand off my wrist.
249
00:09:54,856 --> 00:09:59,131
I believe the parlance is,
compel me, brother.
250
00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:01,335
Can you not
while I'm attached to you?
251
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,641
[drone whirring]
252
00:10:03,674 --> 00:10:05,677
Any chance that's
a totally unrelated drone?
253
00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:08,651
I mean, some.
254
00:10:08,684 --> 00:10:09,719
Run!
255
00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:11,789
[all screaming]
256
00:10:14,061 --> 00:10:16,199
Can we please stop
falling off things?
257
00:10:16,232 --> 00:10:18,002
Oh, boy, they're coming.
258
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,073
Fabian, I hope you can hold
your breath for three minutes
259
00:10:20,106 --> 00:10:22,277
because that's how long
I'm holding you underwater.
260
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:23,814
That won't work, I'm afraid.
261
00:10:23,847 --> 00:10:26,085
These drones
are top of the line.
262
00:10:26,118 --> 00:10:29,325
They cannot be fooled by water
or darkness or disguise.
263
00:10:29,358 --> 00:10:31,830
They are relentless
and unbamboozable.
264
00:10:31,863 --> 00:10:33,466
Maybe use a less silly word
for the drones
265
00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:34,970
-coming to kill us.
-Screw the words.
266
00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:36,405
What do we do?
267
00:10:36,438 --> 00:10:38,443
Make peace
with the god you choose,
268
00:10:38,476 --> 00:10:40,748
for the day of judgment
is at hand.
269
00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:43,285
[drone beeping and whirring]
270
00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:47,261
[laughs] We're alive!
271
00:10:47,294 --> 00:10:49,298
Uh, although, I guess
this could also be hell.
272
00:10:49,331 --> 00:10:50,735
What just happened?
273
00:10:50,768 --> 00:10:52,371
My guess,
Ray bought shitty drones
274
00:10:52,404 --> 00:10:54,108
that couldn't detect us
through the mud.
275
00:10:54,141 --> 00:10:56,713
But he spent
the entire drone budget.
276
00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,151
Oh, what they don't know
277
00:10:59,184 --> 00:11:00,921
can't kill them
won't kill them.
278
00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:03,761
[robot]
More daiquiri, Mr. Gillette?
279
00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:05,765
What do you think, dummy?
280
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,904
Oi, more of these and these
and some crisps, yeah?
281
00:11:08,937 --> 00:11:11,375
For me and those snobs
across the aisle
282
00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:13,179
who clearly think
they're better than me.
283
00:11:13,212 --> 00:11:15,050
And how long does it take
three people
284
00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,487
handcuffed together
to use the bathroom?
285
00:11:17,521 --> 00:11:21,128
[Cyril] Um, this doesn't
feel administrative.
286
00:11:21,161 --> 00:11:24,368
Secretary General Hernandez,
a pleasure, as always.
287
00:11:24,401 --> 00:11:27,240
[clears throat]
I wish I could say the same.
288
00:11:27,273 --> 00:11:28,877
Yeah, what's the deal here,
guys?
289
00:11:28,910 --> 00:11:31,082
I thought this was basically
a meet-and-greet.
290
00:11:31,115 --> 00:11:33,052
This is a disciplinary hearing
291
00:11:33,085 --> 00:11:35,791
to determine
if independent spy agencies
292
00:11:35,824 --> 00:11:39,365
will be allowed to continue
operating on the global stage.
293
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:41,402
What?
And you're telling me now?
294
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:43,206
[Hernandez]
I told your secretary.
295
00:11:43,239 --> 00:11:45,477
[Cheryl] Uh,
I'm an office administrator.
296
00:11:45,511 --> 00:11:47,481
Cheryl, what are you
doing here?
297
00:11:47,515 --> 00:11:49,084
I'm a surprise witness.
298
00:11:49,117 --> 00:11:50,788
A surprise witness for what?
299
00:11:50,821 --> 00:11:51,990
The United Nations.
300
00:11:52,023 --> 00:11:53,527
We're in their house, silly.
301
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,363
So the surprise is against us?
302
00:11:55,396 --> 00:11:57,301
Well, they offered me immunity.
303
00:11:57,334 --> 00:11:59,104
Immunity from what?
304
00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:00,941
We haven't done anything wrong.
305
00:12:00,974 --> 00:12:04,181
-Well...
-Nothing legally wrong.
306
00:12:04,214 --> 00:12:06,452
Oh, my God, Lana, when someone
offers you immunity,
307
00:12:06,485 --> 00:12:08,323
you take it.
[laughs]
308
00:12:08,356 --> 00:12:10,093
And all I had to do was
tell him all the bad things
309
00:12:10,126 --> 00:12:11,262
we ever did ever.
310
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,532
Shall we begin?
311
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,268
-[Archer] No.
-[Pam] No?
312
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:15,470
[Archer] No!
You already had your chance
313
00:12:15,504 --> 00:12:17,174
to pee on the train.
314
00:12:17,207 --> 00:12:18,544
My chance to pee
with the door open
315
00:12:18,577 --> 00:12:20,213
that got interrupted
by a gunfight.
316
00:12:20,246 --> 00:12:21,449
More than some people get.
317
00:12:21,482 --> 00:12:23,186
Do those people
also have to hold it
318
00:12:23,219 --> 00:12:25,323
while falling out
of a moving train
319
00:12:25,356 --> 00:12:27,227
and then slogging
through a river covered in mud
320
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:28,564
that they can't clean off
321
00:12:28,597 --> 00:12:30,367
or a cheap-ass drone
will come and kill them?
322
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,104
I also have to pee.
323
00:12:32,137 --> 00:12:35,110
Don't worry.
You'll be peeing very soon.
324
00:12:35,143 --> 00:12:37,047
Carlotta, thank goodness.
325
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,253
Tell my friends you're here to
rescue me and then kill them.
326
00:12:40,286 --> 00:12:42,324
Rescue? I'm here to kill you.
327
00:12:42,357 --> 00:12:44,028
You, them?
328
00:12:44,061 --> 00:12:46,566
You as in you,
you pompous, abusive,
329
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,904
culturally ambiguous
middle manager.
330
00:12:48,937 --> 00:12:50,306
Middle manager?
331
00:12:50,339 --> 00:12:52,244
I led the company!
332
00:12:52,277 --> 00:12:53,814
That's what you got from that?
333
00:12:53,847 --> 00:12:55,818
Jesus, this is why
everyone hates you.
334
00:12:55,851 --> 00:12:58,557
Carlotta, I assure you,
I did my best.
335
00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:01,362
Anything you disagreed with,
that was the board.
336
00:13:01,395 --> 00:13:02,932
There was no board!
337
00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:05,403
You just made them up
to have someone to blame
338
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,207
for all your bad choices.
339
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,244
Whoa, that's actually
a good idea.
340
00:13:09,277 --> 00:13:12,284
Technically, the board
did exist for a week.
341
00:13:12,317 --> 00:13:13,520
And then had them killed.
342
00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:15,156
Tell them I say hello.
343
00:13:15,189 --> 00:13:16,927
Wait, he's the only one
who can stop the drones
344
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,329
that are coming to kill us all.
345
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,398
I'll take that risk.
346
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:21,302
[gunfire]
347
00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:24,141
-Ow! God damn it.
-Sorry.
348
00:13:24,174 --> 00:13:25,978
[tense music]
349
00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:28,182
[drones whirring]
350
00:13:28,215 --> 00:13:29,317
[Carlotta] Take it down!
351
00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:35,531
What the hell, Archer?
352
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,033
Sorry, it was instinct.
353
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,169
To save me?
354
00:13:38,202 --> 00:13:40,039
God, no, to save the mission.
355
00:13:40,072 --> 00:13:42,578
Um, guys, do I have
as little mud on my face
356
00:13:42,611 --> 00:13:44,114
as you do on yours?
357
00:13:44,147 --> 00:13:46,252
How could I possibly
make that comparison?
358
00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:47,555
[drone beeping and whirring]
359
00:13:47,588 --> 00:13:48,590
[Pam] Go!
360
00:13:50,326 --> 00:13:51,328
[all screaming]
361
00:13:54,569 --> 00:13:57,174
Okay, state your name
for the record.
362
00:13:57,207 --> 00:13:59,011
-Uh, pass.
-[Hernandez] What?
363
00:13:59,044 --> 00:14:00,447
I just prefer not to.
364
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,484
-You understand.
-I don't.
365
00:14:02,518 --> 00:14:05,223
Well, the surprise witness
is surprising the surprisers.
366
00:14:05,256 --> 00:14:06,660
No one at the office
is answering.
367
00:14:06,693 --> 00:14:08,129
We are not ready for this.
368
00:14:08,162 --> 00:14:09,364
Lana, our record
speaks for itself.
369
00:14:09,397 --> 00:14:10,668
We do good in the world.
370
00:14:10,701 --> 00:14:12,204
And Cheryl is
wearing them down.
371
00:14:12,237 --> 00:14:14,007
State your name for the record!
372
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,212
Let's just move on
to the evidence.
373
00:14:16,245 --> 00:14:19,251
Can you confirm that this
is the work of the Agency?
374
00:14:19,284 --> 00:14:21,422
[Cheryl] Yep. Uh-huh.
375
00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:22,625
Uh, probably.
376
00:14:22,658 --> 00:14:24,428
[laughs] Yeah.
377
00:14:24,461 --> 00:14:27,535
In our defense,
that was full of hydrogen.
378
00:14:27,568 --> 00:14:29,371
Oh, God, I was wrong
about our record.
379
00:14:29,404 --> 00:14:31,375
-We're monsters.
-Can you not?
380
00:14:31,408 --> 00:14:33,079
[Pam] Not what?
381
00:14:33,112 --> 00:14:35,584
Pam, can you not look at me
while we're doing this?
382
00:14:35,617 --> 00:14:37,254
You choose the handcuffs.
383
00:14:37,287 --> 00:14:40,059
I chose where I look.
Boi-oi-oing.
384
00:14:40,092 --> 00:14:41,495
[Fabian] They all hate me.
385
00:14:41,529 --> 00:14:42,632
After everything
I did for them.
386
00:14:42,665 --> 00:14:44,301
[laughs] Okay.
387
00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:46,172
On the bright side,
we made it to Liechtenstein.
388
00:14:46,205 --> 00:14:48,176
Pants up and never
speak of this on three.
389
00:14:48,209 --> 00:14:50,013
One, two, three.
390
00:14:50,046 --> 00:14:51,550
Hey, I hear cars that way.
391
00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:53,386
-We can find a ride.
-[Fabian grunts]
392
00:14:53,419 --> 00:14:55,223
Seriously? We're almost there.
393
00:14:55,256 --> 00:14:56,458
What are you doing, Fabian?
394
00:14:56,491 --> 00:14:58,229
I'm giving up.
395
00:14:58,262 --> 00:14:59,599
Let the drones take me.
396
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:03,139
For what is life without
the respect of my peers?
397
00:15:03,172 --> 00:15:05,076
Hey, bud, you have my respect.
398
00:15:05,109 --> 00:15:07,113
[Fabian] I don't really care
about that.
399
00:15:07,146 --> 00:15:09,719
[somber music]
400
00:15:09,752 --> 00:15:12,357
♪ ♪
401
00:15:12,390 --> 00:15:15,196
-You have my respect, Fabian.
-Really?
402
00:15:15,229 --> 00:15:17,200
Yeah, you know,
I still hate you,
403
00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:19,371
but you're
a semi-worthy adversary.
404
00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:21,375
I feel the same way.
405
00:15:21,408 --> 00:15:24,314
In spite of everything,
we're not so different.
406
00:15:24,347 --> 00:15:26,686
No, I didn't say that.
We're very, very different.
407
00:15:26,719 --> 00:15:30,528
You handcuffed us together
so we could bond.
408
00:15:30,561 --> 00:15:34,468
Two lone wolves,
learning to survive as a pack.
409
00:15:34,502 --> 00:15:36,438
[howls]
410
00:15:36,471 --> 00:15:38,476
I'm coming around
to death by drone.
411
00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:40,413
Oh, shit, I hear
something else coming around.
412
00:15:40,446 --> 00:15:43,286
[motorcycles rumbling]
413
00:15:43,319 --> 00:15:45,223
[Archer]
Ha, ha, found our ride.
414
00:15:45,256 --> 00:15:47,060
You mean the guys
that wanna kill us?
415
00:15:47,093 --> 00:15:48,997
I have an idea.
416
00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,400
[dramatic music]
417
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:51,703
[motorcyclist growls]
418
00:15:51,736 --> 00:15:54,308
[engine revving]
419
00:15:54,341 --> 00:15:56,178
[Fabian] You've been got--oh!
420
00:15:57,180 --> 00:16:00,420
[Pam laughs] Oh, damn, dude,
that just popped right off.
421
00:16:00,453 --> 00:16:02,157
Why was his neck so weak?
422
00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:04,596
More importantly, how are
we all fitting on this thing?
423
00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:07,768
[birds cawing]
424
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,139
-Hang on.
-It's a short drive.
425
00:16:10,172 --> 00:16:12,344
Yeah, it better be.
426
00:16:12,377 --> 00:16:14,281
Oh, God, crows are
pecking at the head.
427
00:16:14,314 --> 00:16:16,318
[vomits]
428
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,422
I forgive you, friend.
429
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,193
Great, 'cause I'm about
to do it again.
430
00:16:20,226 --> 00:16:22,230
[vomiting]
431
00:16:26,104 --> 00:16:29,478
[jaunty polka music]
432
00:16:29,512 --> 00:16:32,484
Champagne to go.
I mean, who does that?
433
00:16:32,518 --> 00:16:33,720
Switzerland does it.
434
00:16:33,753 --> 00:16:35,256
Can you believe
the others spent
435
00:16:35,289 --> 00:16:37,460
the entire ride in the toilet?
436
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:40,768
I did until a second ago.
437
00:16:40,801 --> 00:16:44,709
[gunfire]
438
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,111
-We're close.
-How close?
439
00:16:46,144 --> 00:16:47,715
Time or distance?
440
00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:48,784
Will we die
before we get there?
441
00:16:48,817 --> 00:16:50,721
That depends on one thing:
442
00:16:50,754 --> 00:16:53,125
the intimacy of our friendship.
443
00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:55,531
Can you not say stuff like that
while we're penis to penis?
444
00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:56,800
Just say nose to nose.
445
00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:59,104
[tense music]
446
00:16:59,137 --> 00:17:00,741
[grunts]
447
00:17:00,774 --> 00:17:03,279
I was born
to an Albanian seamstress.
448
00:17:03,312 --> 00:17:05,083
It was a breech birth.
449
00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:07,655
For my fifth birthday, I was
gifted a kitten by my uncle
450
00:17:07,688 --> 00:17:10,527
but gave it up upon
discovering a mild allergy.
451
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,663
What the hell are you doing?
452
00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:13,800
[Fabian]
Bonding by sharing traumas.
453
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,472
You call those traumas?
I never knew my father.
454
00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:19,144
My mother started me drinking
at eight to keep me quiet.
455
00:17:19,177 --> 00:17:22,417
I lost my virginity and my dog
to a Brazilian au pair.
456
00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:25,758
My archrival killed and later
dated my one true love.
457
00:17:25,791 --> 00:17:27,795
Thank you for sharing.
I see you.
458
00:17:27,828 --> 00:17:29,431
I wasn't connecting.
459
00:17:29,464 --> 00:17:30,668
I was one-upping.
460
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:37,614
♪ ♪
461
00:17:41,889 --> 00:17:44,194
Damn it, probably shouldn't
have handcuffed my gun hand.
462
00:17:44,227 --> 00:17:46,198
I can help. Give me a gun.
463
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,503
Better idea, I'll just
shoot myself in the face
464
00:17:48,536 --> 00:17:49,639
and cut out the middleman.
465
00:17:49,672 --> 00:17:51,408
Sterling, trust me.
466
00:17:52,244 --> 00:17:54,682
We're all about to die.
Just give him the damn gun.
467
00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:56,217
Ugh.
468
00:17:58,322 --> 00:17:59,792
Bang, bang.
469
00:17:59,825 --> 00:18:01,696
Just kidding, my friend.
470
00:18:01,729 --> 00:18:08,408
♪ ♪
471
00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:11,215
-[gun clicks]
-I'm out.
472
00:18:11,248 --> 00:18:12,852
-[Pam] We're here.
-Brake!
473
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:14,454
[tires squeal]
474
00:18:16,191 --> 00:18:17,895
[Fabian] Oh, dear God.
475
00:18:17,928 --> 00:18:20,166
What is happening
with necks in this country?
476
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:21,468
[Pam]
We've got bigger problems.
477
00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:23,840
Specifically,
lots of smaller problems.
478
00:18:23,873 --> 00:18:27,848
[drones whirring]
479
00:18:27,881 --> 00:18:30,587
-Are those--
-The good drones.
480
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:34,327
[drones beeping and whirring]
481
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,735
[gunfire]
482
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:42,477
Well, if I have to die,
I'm glad it's next to friends.
483
00:18:42,511 --> 00:18:44,147
Stop making this
something it's not.
484
00:18:45,784 --> 00:18:48,288
Damn it, who buys
a drone with knives?
485
00:18:51,261 --> 00:18:53,800
-[glass shatters]
-[explosion]
486
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,370
The same person with two thumbs
487
00:18:55,403 --> 00:18:58,342
and no more champagne--
this guy.
488
00:18:58,375 --> 00:19:01,181
I am still drunk
from the train.
489
00:19:01,214 --> 00:19:03,486
Get inside
and deactivate these fuckers.
490
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,657
-[Cyril] Not cool.
-[Hernandez] Excuse me?
491
00:19:05,690 --> 00:19:07,360
What are you doing?
492
00:19:07,393 --> 00:19:08,897
Speaking truth to power.
493
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,768
And the truth is,
this isn't cool.
494
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:12,638
You called us in here
for an ambush.
495
00:19:12,671 --> 00:19:15,778
Mr. Figgis, this is
a fact-finding meeting.
496
00:19:15,811 --> 00:19:17,882
Oh, yeah,
with quorum of member states
497
00:19:17,915 --> 00:19:19,685
as required
to adopt a resolution,
498
00:19:19,718 --> 00:19:21,488
per the UN rules of procedure?
499
00:19:22,257 --> 00:19:24,361
That's what I thought.
You're grandstanding.
500
00:19:24,394 --> 00:19:25,531
You already know
what you plan to do.
501
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:28,269
But guess what?
We're the Agency.
502
00:19:28,302 --> 00:19:32,343
We're used to ambushes and bad
odds and terrible situations.
503
00:19:32,376 --> 00:19:34,480
[gunfire]
504
00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:39,659
That's where we thrive--
505
00:19:39,692 --> 00:19:40,694
because we're not just
the front lines.
506
00:19:40,727 --> 00:19:41,862
We're a step beyond that.
507
00:19:45,302 --> 00:19:48,543
If we do our job right,
there never is a front line.
508
00:19:48,576 --> 00:19:50,681
So you can look at the screen
and see our failures, sure.
509
00:19:50,714 --> 00:19:51,816
What the?
510
00:19:51,849 --> 00:19:53,419
But the world you're living in,
511
00:19:53,452 --> 00:19:55,423
the world you're
living in right now,
512
00:19:55,456 --> 00:19:57,260
that is our success.
513
00:19:57,293 --> 00:19:58,261
-[yelps]
-[explosion]
514
00:20:01,502 --> 00:20:02,705
I tried. Your turn.
515
00:20:02,738 --> 00:20:04,307
I don't have a gun.
516
00:20:04,340 --> 00:20:05,978
You can't shoot me!
517
00:20:06,011 --> 00:20:08,381
I never filled out
my starting paperwork!
518
00:20:09,685 --> 00:20:10,821
[screams]
519
00:20:10,854 --> 00:20:16,966
♪ ♪
520
00:20:16,999 --> 00:20:18,235
You're welcome.
521
00:20:21,441 --> 00:20:23,412
What the hell happened?
522
00:20:23,445 --> 00:20:25,551
The door only allows
one person through at a time.
523
00:20:25,584 --> 00:20:27,287
Getting pretty droney out here.
524
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,990
How do I deactivate the drones?
525
00:20:29,023 --> 00:20:31,595
You can't, not without
my handprint for the scanner.
526
00:20:35,737 --> 00:20:38,610
We almost made it all
the way, didn't we, friend?
527
00:20:38,643 --> 00:20:40,581
I couldn't have made it
this far without you.
528
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,450
But I've got it
from here, friend.
529
00:20:42,483 --> 00:20:43,720
[grunts]
530
00:20:43,753 --> 00:20:46,693
Ow! What the shit?
531
00:20:46,726 --> 00:20:48,462
[Archer]
Thanks for the hand, friend.
532
00:20:48,495 --> 00:20:49,832
[laughs]
533
00:20:49,865 --> 00:20:51,569
[computer]
Protocol deactivated.
534
00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:57,882
[drone powers down]
535
00:20:57,915 --> 00:21:00,721
So how we all feeling?
536
00:21:00,754 --> 00:21:02,357
[Archer] Better than Fabian.
537
00:21:02,390 --> 00:21:04,795
Can you believe he doesn't
wanna be friends anymore?
538
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:07,066
-You cut off his hand.
-For a good cause.
539
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,570
And I gave it back to him.
540
00:21:08,603 --> 00:21:10,039
After you shot him
the bird with it.
541
00:21:10,072 --> 00:21:11,475
That was Zara's idea.
542
00:21:11,509 --> 00:21:13,345
-[laughs] And it was hilarious.
-Thanks.
543
00:21:13,378 --> 00:21:14,982
It's not
my first dismemberment.
544
00:21:15,015 --> 00:21:16,653
Going forward,
no more cutting off hands
545
00:21:16,686 --> 00:21:18,489
and taunting people with them.
546
00:21:18,523 --> 00:21:20,459
The UN came after us today,
but we really dodged a bullet
547
00:21:20,492 --> 00:21:22,497
by saving them from bullets.
548
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,769
I just wanna say
I was only siding
549
00:21:24,802 --> 00:21:26,405
with the UN for immunity.
550
00:21:26,438 --> 00:21:27,808
Yeah, you told us.
551
00:21:27,841 --> 00:21:29,545
Oh, no. Uh, guys?
552
00:21:29,578 --> 00:21:31,048
[Hernandez]
In light of recent events,
553
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,352
it is with
overwhelming support
554
00:21:33,385 --> 00:21:36,091
from our member nations
that this council votes
555
00:21:36,124 --> 00:21:39,064
to declare all
private independent
556
00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:41,803
spy agencies illegal.
557
00:21:41,836 --> 00:21:45,042
They will be given
30 days to disband.
558
00:21:45,075 --> 00:21:46,311
[all gasp]
559
00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:52,022
Is that 30 calendar days
or business days?
560
00:21:53,559 --> 00:21:55,028
[sighs] God damn it.
561
00:21:56,565 --> 00:22:03,512
♪ ♪
562
00:22:15,804 --> 00:22:18,910
Made in Georgia.
38171
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