All language subtitles for Ur Karlekens Sprak

I think those Japanese pictures
were beautiful.

It is also interesting and amusing
to think about the fact

that during the 12th century they had
such artistic and instructive pictures

which they gave to the bride so that
she could put them under her pillow

and learn something from them,

while we in medieval Europe used
small bags containing pigeon blood,

which would burst and prove
that the bride was a virgin.

Yes, and there have been restrictions
concerning sex in Europe

up until our time - in Denmark too,

where they said that in Sweden
it was against the law

to spread information about
contraceptives up to 1938...

- Is that right?
- That's quite right.

There was a law prohibiting
both information

about contraceptives
and distribution of them,

even though there were some pioneers
trying to break through the "barrier".

But worse than that is the fact that
there was an unwritten law

prohibiting people to accept sex

as something nice and pleasant and
something that one was allowed to like.

Yes, one could say that up until now

there has been a wave of taboos
against sex.

I would say that people had
a whole complex of taboos

and prejudices which they tried to pass on
like a pair of coloured glasses...

Where are my glasses?

That's right. That's why it
couldn't have been easy

for our parents to live or for
their parents, and so on.

I wonder how people live today,
behind the façade.

COMMUNICATION DIFFICULTIES

Eva!

Eva!

COMMUNICATION DIFFICULTIES

What is this...

What is this that you have
dragged into my house?

Have you got anything to complain about?

INTOLERANCE TOWARDS
YOUR PARTNER

- Darling?
- Yes?

May I touch your stomach?

No... I can't...

Why not?

- Why not!
- Yes...

Why did you go to bed with him?
It wasn't necessary, was it?

Sven, that was eight years ago.
Eight years.

Makes no difference.

Doesn't it make any difference?
You're hopeless.

I'm not going to force you into anything.
Be sure of that.

INTOLERANCE TOWARDS
YOUR PARTNER

Oh! Was it good for you?

No!

Hell, you're frigid.

MALE VANITY

Won't you read this book? It's written by
such wise and sensible people.

Why the heck would I read
a book like this?

I know what I'm doing. Listen here,
nobody has complained before.

MALE VANITY

Does anybody want some more?
Would you like some more sherry?

Yes, please.

- There you are.
- Thanks.

What was that?

Oh, that was just one of
our tractors driving past.

We only have one tractor, Karl.

LOSING POWER

Will this be alright?

You haven't ever managed anything
that concerns me.

The tennis court is the only place
where you're good for anything.

LOSING POWER

We have seen some different couples
who are not getting along so well.

But we must not forget that

naturally there are a lot of couples
who are getting along fine.

Or even better than that.

Think about all the times we've done
this... And it's as good every time.

- That's thanks to you.
- Oh no, don't try to flatter me!

NO COMMENT

Do you think it will be twins?

We won't know until May.

NO COMMENT

I would like to stress
that it is very important

for everybody to learn more
about this subject.

What we would like to show you

is not only a film about sex or sexual
intercourse, but also a film about...

About cohabitation.

Yes, a film about being together,
that's right.

Yes, and we must try to bear in mind
that people should not only

learn how to lie with each other,
but also to live with each other.

And isn't it strange that we have known
so little about how this works.

One of the most common things
that people have been doing

since the beginning of time is copulating

and yet we have known very little
about what has happened.

Naturally, there have been some people
doing research in this field.

There are Dickinson and LeMon Clark and
van de Velde, to mention a few of them.

But they were not allowed to write,
they dared not write about it.

And the one who really broke through
the wall first was Kinsey.

We remember how relieved we were when he
wrote about how people function sexually.

He told us about all sexual activities.

But he still did not describe
the sexual functions in the body.

That was first done by the doctor
William Masters

and the psychologist Virginia Johnson,

in their book, which was based on their
own research, released in 1966.

When they started their research
in the fifties,

they contacted prostitutes,
mainly women but also men,

and asked them how different forms
of sexual activities were carried out.

Then they built a kind of laboratory,

where they wanted to register
as many human reactions as possible.

It became important to register
all changes in the sexual organs,

both male and female.

But then it was important to understand
how any human

functions during intercourse.

Via doctors they came in touch
with people who had problems.

And later on
with so-called regular people.

They arrived at these laboratories,
and saw what was to be registered.

But the beauty of Masters and Johnson,

was that they got people to function
just like at home.

It's exactly these experiences
that they got,

that we, in all modesty,
would like to apply to this film.

When Masters and Johnson
started their research

concerning the sexual functions
in the human being

they had to arrange a room in a way that
provided for the special demands needed.

First they wanted to be able to test
general reactions

like heart activity and breathing.

Secondly they wanted to record
the colour changes on the body

and especially in and on
the sexual organs during intercourse.

Thirdly, it was very important that the
couples taking part in the experiments

should feel relaxed and at ease

so they could help us better understand
the sexual functions.

It is also important to know that
when you make an ordinary film

you often use illusions
to give a picture of reality.

Here we have tried to give a picture
of reality such as it is.

Most of us want peace and relaxation
when we lie with each other.

We want to be alone
and to feel a kind of homeliness

without strangers' eyes disturbing us.

We have tried here,
with the help of the cameras,

to create such an undisturbed atmosphere,

where the camera is an invisible eye
that will not disturb our couples.

We hope and think that they will help us

to better understand
what human cohabitation

can give in the way of pleasure and
happiness, if those words may be used.

We just talked about prejudice.
That's something I always wondered about.

That you can't show intercourse
in films or theatre for instance.

When there are so many examples in art
where you can watch...

Like "Leda and the Swan",
which is actually quite dubious.

There are a lot of surprising things.
Like double-standards.

One sexual morality for men
and another one for women.

I think it was as late as the twenties
when people started to accept

that women could show sexual interest
and also have capability of

and admit having orgasms, just like men.

Another important field is
self-satisfaction, masturbation.

There are still many prejudices
against masturbation.

It was first through Kinsey
and then Masters and Johnson

that it became quite clear that it is
acceptable and common to masturbate.

I would even say that it
is a very good practice.

I think it's important to remember that

small children often play with their
sex organs and they seem to like it.

It is important that they get to know
this feeling of pleasure

because then it will be easier for them to
appreciate cohabitation when they grow up.

Quite right.

I think it's important to
make parents aware of this fact,

not only concerning masturbation among
small children, but also among teenagers.

Another field of great importance
is the female masturbation technique,

which we will talk more about later.

The woman can tell
the man how it feels best.

This means that she can either let him
watch or, if she is too shy,

tell him what he should do
to satisfy her the most.

I remember a funny thing
which I'll show you.

- Inge, could I have some more tea, please?
- Oh, yes.

Put a finger on the lid
so it doesn't fall off.

I think it was in the Fifties,
in Copenhagen,

that a manufacturer was persuaded to make
a doll like a boy-doll with a penis.

- Isn't it cute...
- Very.

This was such a sensation
that the news agency sent telegrams

to London, Rome, Buenos Aires,
all over the world,

saying that now there was a doll
which really resembled

the children that play with dolls.

Yes, imagine that it should be
such a sensation.

- Yes, and as late as in the Fifties.
- Yes, that's what I'm thinking.

And what we've been talking about

covers only a few examples
of the prejudices that exist.

What we want to do in this film is to try
and reduce and break down these prejudices

and that's the same activity
as all over the world.

All this work aims at giving ourselves
and others

a greater feeling of
appreciation of cohabitation.

- Yes, that's right.
- And decreasing people's anxiety.

Yes, quite so.

Now we have seen in these scenes

what it's like for two people
being happy together.

But to succeed it is usually
necessary to have knowledge

and we'll start by describing
the female sex organs.

We will talk about the outer
and inner sex organs.

The woman's outer organs are made up of
labia majora and labia minora,

clitoris and the forecourt
leading in towards the vagina.

Around the opening of the vagina
there is a thin membrane, the hymen.

The vagina is a 3-4 inch long canal
with walls of mucous membrane

and it leads from the hymen
to just above the cervix.

The uterus is a pear-shaped organ

that opens downwards through the cervix
into the vagina.

The upper part of the uterus is broader
and that is where the oviducts are,

at the other end they are connected
with the ovaries.

The picture shows the outer sex organs
with the clitoris at the top in front.

The labia minora lead backwards
from the clitoris,

on the inside they have mucous membrane
and they form the walls of the forecourt.

The opening of the urethrae
is seen behind the clitoris:

we also see the outer part of the vagina.

Here we see both front
and side views of the vagina.

The triangular shape in the right-hand
picture is the bladder with the urethra.

In the side picture we see how
the vagina ends at the top.

The wall of the uterus
is made up of muscles

and on the inside it is coated
with a mucous membrane

which is almost completely renewed
after each menstruation.

The oviducts are trumpet-shaped
at the ends

so as to catch the ovum
when they leave the ovaries,

which happens about a fortnight
before expected menstruation

and it is called ovulation.

We would now like to show,
just like Masters and Johnson did,

the bodily reactions to sexual stimulus
during a woman's masturbation,

from the first excitation to
the resting phase after the orgasm.

We can distinguish four different phases:

During the first one,
the so-called excitation phase,

the clitoris swells and becomes hard

at the same time as the feeling of
pleasure intensifies.

The labia minora also swell.

The nipples become hard and the breasts
themselves become somewhat bigger.

In the vagina the so-called
sweating starts.

It is sometimes plentiful and it helps
to reduce the friction in the vagina.

Next is the plateau-phase:
then the labia minor change colour -

they become bright red
and increase in size.

This might give the impression that
the clitoris becomes smaller.

It is really the swelling labia minora
that hide the clitoris.

Too much massage during
this phase may hurt.

The outer third of the vagina wall
gets thicker

and together with the labia and clitoris
it forms a centre of pleasure.

During the orgasm phase there are regular
contractions of the pelvic muscles

at the same time that the feeling
of pleasure intensifies.

On the breasts we see blushing spots

which can spread over
the rest of the body too.

Breathing becomes heavier
and the pulse rate increases.

When the contractions have ceased,
the organs regain their normal size,

colour and form rather quickly
and a feeling of well-being remains.

It is rather funny to think about those
cod-pieces they had in medieval times.

A cod-piece was a little bag attached
to the front of the trousers

and it contained the penis and scrotum.

It was the focal point of much boasting
and often padded to look bigger.

During the time of Napoleon,
men used tight suede trousers

which were put on wet, so that they clung
tightly around the penis and buttocks.

Yes, and especially in Greece
the penis was very highly valued.

They even had a special God
whom they worshipped.

His name was Priaphos and people
prayed to him for fertility.

He was portrayed with a very large penis.

Yes, I know about him, too. They even
baked biscuits shaped like a penis

which the children used to eat.

But they were wrong in thinking that

the size of the penis
had anything to do with potency.

Yes, that's one of the things that
Masters and Johnson have shown.

The size of the penis
has nothing at all to do

- with the woman's sexual satisfaction.
- Exactly.

The last misconception
I think we should talk about,

is the one that a man with a circumcised
penis should be a better lover -

there is no proof for that whatsoever.

Of the male sex organs, we first see
the two testes in the scrotum.

They run through a large number of small
canals where sperms are produced.

The canals from each teste

first lead to a ductus epididymis
and then through the vas deferens,

to the latter part of which
the seminal vesicle is connected.

They are situated behind the bladder.

The two vas deferens meet in the prostate
gland and then follows the urethra.

The penis is made in such a way
that it swells when sexually excited.

Parts of the penis are filled with blood
and it becomes stiff and erects.

This happens during the excitation phase.

During the plateau phase the testes are
pulled up towards the base of the scrotum

at the same time as a drop of slimy
liquid comes out of the urethra,

without the man noticing it.

This drop of slime might
contain some sperms.

In connection with the orgasm
the pelvic muscles contract

and the semen containing the sperms
is thrown out in portions

while the feeling of pleasure is intense.

This is called ejaculation.

After the orgasm follows the resting
phase, when the erection disappears.

The testes sink back down and all
organs regain their usual shape.

As we said a while ago,
the shape and size of the penis

is of no importance
to the sexual function.

There are large numbers of variations
which can all be considered normal

and here we will just show a few examples.

We receive quite a lot of letters
concerning masturbation

and I think I can divide them
into three groups.

First: people who don't know that
masturbation is something common

and as I said before,
good practice and recommendable.

Second: people who are afraid
they are overdoing it.

And I would like to say that there
is no reason to worry about that

because it regulates itself.

The last group are people
who are afraid to use masturbation

because they think their organs
will be deformed or look strange.

I know that we get quite a lot of letters,
for example from women who are afraid

that their labia will get too big,

or men who think that their penis
will get crooked if they masturbate.

There is no reason at all
to worry about this.

Just as in the man,
the outer sex organs of the woman

can vary considerably
without being abnormal.

And I'm thinking about another thing.

Many men and women feel hurt
in some way if their partner

wants to use masturbation to reach orgasm,

and there is no reason to worry about
that, because it's everybody's right

to get satisfaction
the way he or she wants to.

Sure.

But we have to be aware of the fact
that all intercourses

don't work perfectly,

and by not perfect I mean
they don't reach orgasm at the same time.

Exactly!

But I think that through practice,
carefulness

and skill, it's possible
to develop a technique

through which they will get closer to
reaching orgasm at the same time.

The film we are going to see now shows
two people who have succeeded in this.

Yes, people have always wanted to learn

how to get as much pleasure
as possible out of life together,

and there have been many different ways
of teaching it and learning it.

The ancient Greeks, as you know,
had these hetaerae.

They were women who actually
had a very high social status

and they knew a great deal
about sexual life.

I'm sure it did a lot of good many times,
because the men learned quite a lot

and then brought their knowledge home

and perhaps it helped their sexual life
at home to work out better.

And now Masters and Johnson
have done the same thing.

They interviewed men and women
who have sex as their occupation

and asked them about
various kinds of sexual activities

and then they used that as a background
when they were doing their research.

I'm sure it was a great help to them,
but even better is the fact that

everybody has been given
the opportunity to learn from it.

It can be a great help for those
who have problems

as well as those living
an ordinary, normal life together.

There is also a sort of
spiritual masturbation

which exists both among men and women.

I am thinking about the sexual
imaginations and fantasies

that we often meet in our practice.

Yes, when we say fantasies,

we mean that people pretend to be
someone else during the sex act.

How many men have not imagined
that they were copulating

with some movie star who they thought was
more exciting than their own partner?

We must remember that such fantasies
have got nothing to do with reality.

They don't express our personal desires,
they just increase sexual stimulation.

For example, if a girl pretends
to be a prostitute or a call girl,

it doesn't necessarily mean that
she really wants to be one.

No, and after all, it's only human.

People often want to live another part in
life than the one they are really playing,

and why shouldn't that go
for their sexual life as well?

There are some examples of people
imagining that they are homosexuals,

during intercourse.

It is also completely normal
to use fetishes of different kinds,

like sexy underwear,

boots, pornography and other things,

which increase sexual excitement.

Yes, that's very important.

I was also thinking of the technical
things that can be used,

like a massage machine or contraceptives
with fantasy shapes:

anything that helps.

A thing like that, for example.

Don't pay any attention to the fact
that it's shaped for the vagina,

because most people use it
on the clitoris.

Of course, it can also be used on
the breasts or in the vagina

or wherever it feels good.

People have always tried to find ways
of increasing sexual pleasure.

They have used their own imagination,
a thing which is often forgotten nowadays.

I think the importance of
erotic literature and pictures

should be stressed.
It can be fascinating

and I think all this helps to increase
the personal feeling of pleasure

and security in sexual experience.

And it might serve as a fine prelude
to an ordinary intercourse.

Certainly.

There is no doubt about the fact that
technical questions regarding sex

are of great importance

but there is still a risk
of making them a little too big

and forgetting the psychological aspects.

We have called this film
The Language of Love,

and the risk might be that
the words become dominating.

We get away from the psychological factor,

we neglect or get away
from the physical aspects,

we take less notice of a person's need
for tenderness and contact

and his or her need for nearness
to another person,

even though this nearness
must not always have to do with sex.

You are right about that. A young woman,
or any woman without sexual experience,

must feel some anxiety
before her first intercourse,

and it's possible that she has a greater
need for a feeling of security and trust,

and a physical and psychological
tenderness, than for sexual perfection.

Perhaps the same thing goes
for a man, what do I know...

There will be a chapter in this film
dealing with love,

but the basic thought is that we want
to help people to a richer sex-life.

Yes, isn't it true that the one
who often changes partner

will not have time,
at least not very much time,

for the improvement of the experience and
the technique with which we are dealing.

No, I think we should warn against that -
against the hustling for orgasm:

it can cause despair
and repeated failures for the couple.

Exactly, and we must remember
that nature only desires a fertilization,

but the human being demands a lot more.

She tries, as you said before,
to satisfy different needs.

The need for tenderness,
the need for nearness,

perhaps the desire to get pregnant,

and last but not least,
the need for sexual pleasure.

We will follow this young couple,
our living example,

through some of their troubles.

They are trying to reach a happier
and better sex-life,

a more honest life,

which might last,
with the help of consideration

and sexual and technical renewal.

- Are you hungry?
- No, I'm on a diet.

- Are you tired then?
- No.

- Your turn, Don Juan...
- What do you mean, Don Juan?

You know he was never satisfied.
That's why he needed so many girls.

Who knows, perhaps the girls
had a great time...

Well, sorry then.
But for me it wasn't very good.

I'm sorry. I'm also sorry
for what happened yesterday.

Think about how good we used to have it,
before we had anywhere to be.

We kissed and caressed and everything
was fine, and now it's all gone.

No, it isn't gone.
It's still there, all of it.

I think we shall talk a little about
petting now,

and perhaps we should start
with a definition of the expression.

Yes, what do we mean by petting?

Well, usually we mean
all forms of physical contact

between a man and a woman,
mostly in the form of caressing:

in any case it doesn't go further
than to the state

where the penis comes close to the
vagina - it must not enter the vagina.

I think petting is a very essential thing
and it's so practical

because it doesn't lead to pregnancy.

No, and that's because the penis
never gets close to or into the vagina,

and so, the sperms never have
a chance to fertilise an egg.

No, because they never get
into the vagina either.

And then in most cases with petting,
the man and the woman caress each other.

They mostly use the hand or the mouth
and do it in a nice, pleasant way.

It's only during these last few years
that we have started to discuss petting,

and I think the main reason for this is

the fact that young people spend more time
in school now than they did before.

Studying takes a long time and the young
people cannot, for different reasons,

take the responsibility for a child.

But they are interested in each other and
want to show their affection in some way.

I have noticed that during
the last ten years

that I have been working on
sexual research in this country,

petting has become a habit
which a lot of students partake in,

and the anguish caused by petting
has decreased more and more.

That is true, and even in a society
with strict religious and sexual morals,

petting is a good way
for the man and woman

to free themselves from anguish,
at least I think so.

When we talked about petting
a couple of years ago,

then we were mostly thinking of couples
kissing or hugging in a doorway or park,

but now it has become something
like a prelude to intercourse.

And maybe not only
as a prelude to intercourse...

- No, you are right.
- But it can just be something small,

a part of a prelude which is done
any time of the day.

- And there is no more to it.
- That is true.

It has become clear,
and this is quite interesting,

that we are very much alike
all over the world.

And when a man and a woman
start liking each other

and start to get closer to each other,

then it's according to a similar
pattern everywhere.

The girl and the boy start embracing,
play and pet.

Then there is the kiss,

perhaps playful at the beginning
and then more intense.

He starts to caress her breasts through
her clothes and then inside them,

and she wants to embrace him.

Then they get closer to each other's laps,
but mostly so that he caresses her,

and the sign of the petting
is the playful tenderness.

And another couple might pet with each
other as during the so-called prelude,

without an intercourse following.

You know that children have
a fantastic ability to vary their games

and make up new ones.

Here we have seen some couples
who have shown us in a good way,

how it is possible to play
and act during sexual intercourse.

And we can agree that a man and a woman

can play any way they want to
during an intercourse,

provided they both like it
and no one feels forced.

The young couple is using the traditional
position with the man on top,

but it doesn't have to be that way.

On the contrary, there are positions
which for some people are better.

You don't have to use
the same position all the time.

You can change
from intercourse to intercourse,

and you can vary even
during the intercourse.

It is often recommended in books

that you shall have intercourse
in other places than at home.

Don't you think we should leave nature
to the birds and the bees?

I gladly admit that it can be very
exciting to copulate in the countryside,

but it's often difficult for the woman
and it's hard for her to reach her orgasm.

You're right, but there are people
who don't have anywhere else to go,

and unfortunately,
they have to use such places.

Of course.

And if they are used to each other,
they might be lucky and feel something,

the woman too, in spite of the mosquitoes
and ants and all that.

We receive many letters from people

wondering how often they ought
to have sexual intercourse.

Usually the man is more eager
than the woman,

which means that he wants to make love
more often

and we all know the most common excuses.

Oh, come to bed.

Don't you ever think about anything else?

No, Oscar, not tonight, you know I want
my hair to look nice tomorrow.

Yes, yes, I understand.

No, the boss gave us a hard time
at work today,

then that damn car broke down on
the way home.

- I'm exhausted, may I go to sleep?
- OK.

Good night.

Shall we roll over now, love?

Not tonight, Karl-Gustav, I'm so tired.

Well, if you absolutely want...

You didn't answer about how often people
should have sexual intercourse.

No, there is no answer.

We can put it like this - there are
differences of opinion in this matter.

Some couples copulate several times
every 24 hours,

and others just once or twice a month.

Overcrowding, children and other troubles

might complicate and dampen
sexual togetherness.

We should just not imagine that others
have more fun than we do ourselves.

Right, and just as in all other situations
in life where problems arise,

we must take care not to try to solve
the problems by not talking about them.

It's better to try to talk it over
together

and try to find a solution
to the problems.

Yes, I just thought about
the situation we had before,

where the man was more eager
than the woman.

I think that the woman could be more,
what shall I say, cooperative,

provided that the man
doesn't demand orgasm from her

when she's not in the mood.

But there are also women
who have strong needs for sex,

which they don't get satisfied.

How can they be helped?

Perhaps through petting or masturbation.

There is one fundamental thing,
which is sex information for children.

Actually, it starts in the home,

because normal children
start to ask questions

at the age of three, or three and a half.

It's very important that the parents
are prepared to answer these questions,

and thereafter, teaching responsibility

concerning these matters
is given to the school.

Yes, and the school has confidence
in the homes, especially nowadays,

which means that the homes generally
furnish a foundation for sexual education.

The teacher often gathers the children's
parents the first year of school

to hear how much information the children
have received at home concerning sex.

This is also done to help the parents,

so they can correct the possible mistakes
they might have made in their information.

But the school can't rely completely
on the parents,

and in Sweden we have
compulsory sex-education,

which starts in the first grade

and it's the school's responsibility
to take care of it.

But children get information
from all sorts of sources:

media, radio, TV, newspapers, books...

You can't really decide, if the children
shall have information about sex, or not.

All children will, one way or another,
get information.

Most have received
some information already,

from siblings or friends of their own age.

It's not certain that that
information has been correct.

That is why it's so important that
the school doesn't neglect this part

of children's upbringing.

But inform about different parts
on this subject, from time to time,

as the children mature.

Smaller children ask, just like you said,
spontaneous questions

and these need to be responded to.
In honesty,

and maybe short,
but sometimes at more length.

As the children grow older, the questions
get more urgent, and also deeper.

And it's time to take up
the physiological questions,

the anatomical,
sociological, psychological.

And as they reach puberty,

questions of contraception,
and technical questions around this.

And here we get into the factor
of sexual security:

a consequence of sex
can be a pregnancy.

This might be unwelcome or unacceptable.

It's very important
that couples risking this position

can experience a sexual security,

which mankind has always
tried to find methods for.

Earlier on these methods were primitive,
but I must say that these days,

the contraceptives are almost 100% secure.

We will use this lesson of sex-knowledge

to talk a little about
contraceptive methods.

They are things that all people
should know about

and therefore it is quite natural
to talk about them here.

If you want to have sexual intercourse
without having a child,

then you can use protection.

We call this protection contraceptives,

and there are those
for both men and women.

The protection for the main
is called a condom;

it's a thin rubber membrane,
which is put over the man's erect penis.

The reason for the condom

is that the semen shall remain
in the rubber sheath

after the orgasm,

and that way the sperm never comes
into contact with the vagina.

A common contraceptive for women
is the so-called pessary.

It consists of a round rubber membrane
which looks like a rubber cup,

around which there is a spiral spring.

The principle thing about the pessary

is that it should be inserted into
the vagina to cover the uterine cervix.

As you can see from these two pessaries,
there are different sizes,

and the woman has to try out the pessary
so that she gets the right size.

The pessary is placed
on the bottom of the vagina

and it covers the uterine cervix.

It is supposed to lie like this
picture indicates. Yes, Ingela?

Is a pessary completely safe?

No, it's not. It must always be used in
conjunction with a chemical cream.

Therefore it's better
to call it the pessary method.

Another common contraceptive for women
nowadays is the pill,

and when using them,
the woman takes one pill every day.

You have probably heard about the loop.
It looks like this

and consists of a plastic spiral,
which the doctor inserts into the uterus

and it lies in the cavity
of the uterus like this.

It's not very common among Swedish women
to use the loop,

but it's more common
in the developing countries.

Yes, Karina?

Why is the loop mostly used
in the developing countries?

That was a good question.

It's a rather safe contraceptive,

and it's inserted by a doctor and
therefore easier for the woman to handle

than any other kind of contraceptive.

And why have you come here today,
Mrs Nilsson?

I would like a pessary.

I see. Have you used any other
contraceptive methods before?

No, we have taken care.

And now you are tired of that,
or why do you want to change?

Yes, we got tired.
We thought it was too insecure.

A pessary. Why that?
There are many other kinds.

I have a friend who uses it,
and she likes it.

- Have you ever had any children?
- No, I haven't.

Have you ever been pregnant, had
a miscarriage or something like that?

And the menstruation comes regularly?
No trouble with that at all?

No.

Any secretions, any catarrh in the vagina?

No.

- Have you been to a gynaecologist before?
- No, I haven't.

Well, all sounds good.
I will have a look at you

to see if it will be alright
for you to have a pessary.

Would you please step into
the examining room?

Thank you.

You are relaxing very well.

Thank you, that's good.

Can I have number seventy, please?

Now we'll just put this in.

- How does it feel?
- It feels fine.

- No tension?
- No.

Good. I'll just take it out again
and then we'll be ready.

Like that, thank you.
You can get down now.

I think this will work excellently.
Have you seen one before?

No, I haven't.

Then I'll show you how to insert it.

You really need two things
for the pessary method.

More than the pessary,
you also need this cream.

The cream has the spermicidal effect,
not the pessary in itself.

So you always need the two together.

In an emergency you might use the cream
only, but never the pessary by itself.

The meaning is to stop the sperms
from reaching the uterus.

Inserted like this,

with the cream applied,

the sperms can't pass this
chemical barrier, but get stuck there.

I'll show you an image
on how to insert the pessary.

Might be easier to understand.

You have to empty your bladder before.

Then you prepare the pessary
by applying the cream.

And it has to be applied all around and
on the dome. And also put some in here.

Then you should stand up, place one leg
on a chair. Or maybe on the toilet seat.

Then you grab the pessary like this.
You can see here on the image.

Then you insert the pessary,
without force, just nice and easy.

It normally slides in very easily.

When inserted,
you check with your index finger,

that this edge is behind
the pubic bone joint.

If it doesn't feel tense, it's inserted
properly, and everything is fine.

You can insert it about
an hour before intercourse,

but it's very important to keep it in
at least 6-8 hours after intercourse.

You shall not rinse,
or touch it in any way.

But you can walk around,
that's no problem.

When you remove the pessary,
you just insert hour index finger,

grab on to the edge of the pessary
and pull it out.

The first times, you might feel
that you can't find the pessary.

But don't worry, it hasn't fallen out
or "fallen in", but it's there.

Then you rinse it with soap and water,
check that it's not broken,

and alway put it back in its box.

- Does it sound strange?
- No, it doesn't.

Then I'll write out this prescription,

and you can buy it at the pharmacy.

And buy a couple of tubes as spares,
they are the most important thing.

Why have you come here today,
Mrs Holmström?

I came to ask for a loop.

I see. Do you use any
contraceptive method now?

I have used a pessary before,
but I don't trust it any longer.

- Why don't you trust it any longer?
- It moves around.

- I see. Have you ever had a child?
- Yes, I have. In 1961.

Just one child.
And the pregnancy was normal?

- Yes, it was normal.
- Ant the birth was normal, too?

- How is your menstruation nowadays?
- It's regular and normal.

- Not too much?
- No.

- And there are no lumps coming out?
- No.

- I see. Have you ever had ovaritis?
- No, I haven't.

- And you feel well in general?
- Yes.

Then I'll look at you
and see if it's alright,

and then we'll put in one of those loops.
I'm sure it will be alright.

Please come into this room.

- Does it feel alright and normal?
- Yes, it feels fine.

Shall we put this in?

I'll just wash here a little,
it might feel a little cold,

but it's nothing to worry about.

There, now we're ready. Now you can
feel with a finger in the vagina.

I'll wash it off.

- Can you feel the strings?
- Yes, I can.

- Fine.
- Yes.

Thank you, that's all.

Please, sit down.

- Does it feel ok?
- Yes, it feels just fine.

You can experience some pain
the first few days.

It can feel like menstrual pain,
but no need to worry.

Then there's not much happening;
you can get a litte more menstruation,

and more stretched out.

There can also be some minor bleeding,
in between menstruations.

But you needn't worry about that, and you
don't have to call the doctor for that.

It can be wise,
if you after every menstruation

control that it's there by feeling
the strings, just like you did before.

One more thing: you shouldn't trust it
the first few months.

It's smart to use some sort of additional
contraceptive, like a cream of something.

- And you can use regular tampons?
- Oh, yes, that's fine.

And I'd like you to come here
for a check-up in three months.

After that, it's once a year,
if everything is alright.

Should something special occur,
you should of course get in touch.

And you can take this brochure,
and read more.

- Any other questions?
- No. All is clear.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.

I think you can certainly use
the pill, Miss Malmkvist.

You will have to wait until your next
menstruation before you can start,

and then it's important
to count correctly.

You take the first day of menstruation
as day number one,

and on the fifth day
you take the first pill.

It makes no difference whether
the menstruation has stopped or not.

You start on day number five in any case -
that's very important.

Then you take one pill every day.

Let's say that there are about
21 pills in your packet,

and it's very important to remember
to take them regularly, every day.

Of course, you shouldn't trust the method
during the first seven to ten pills.

Then it might be advisable to use a foam
cream like this as an added protection -

it's sold in tubes like this.

If you squirt this way, push and twist
a little, then it fills with foam cream.

This was a little too fast.

Then you put it into the vagina
and squirt it out,

and you can do that up to
half an hour before intercourse.

It's important to remember
that the security with these pills

depends on exactness in their use.

If you remember to take them,
you won't get pregnant.

- Is there anything you would like to ask?
- No, I don't think so.

Well, then I'll write
a prescription for you.

Intercourse and menstruation,

that's another thing
that still worries a lot of people.

The reason for this
is probably old religious

and ritual superstitions
concerning this question

and it's a problem
for a great many people.

What does a gynaecologist say about this?

Well, menstruation
is not in the least unclean

and therefore intercourse is quite alright
if the man or the woman desires it.

- So, they can do it?
- Yes.

The same problem arises when it comes to
intercourse during pregnancy,

what about that?

I can give a simple answer to that.

In most cases intercourse is all right
during the larger part of the pregnancy,

there is nothing against it.

Then there is the question about
the desire during pregnancy.

In my work I have come in contact with
a number of women

who seemed to have lost the interest
for sexual intercourse

during the larger part of their pregnancy.

The reasons for this can be several.

Probably psychological, but also social.

I know that Masters and Johnson
investigated this.

Their material is very limited,

but it seems to show that the desire
decreases during the first three months,

the next three months it increases
and it increases more than normal,

but during the last period of
the pregnancy it decreases again.

That's right. And that's the same
experience you get

when you are working with
care for mothers.

But of course,
there are some medical reasons

that makes it necessary
to advise against intercourse,

at least during some periods
of the pregnancy.

Psychological reasons too.

Of course, the woman can ask
her doctor what she should do.

Thanks to this intense influence
the sexuality comes closer to us.

It's often said that the times are
over-sexed, and that's right, they are.

Ideals are put up for us from all
directions, and we can hardly escape them.

And us women feel inferior
and almost deformed

when we are compared with one of those
over-dimensioned girls

with the girdle and the bra pushing up
the breasts in a completely abnormal way.

And the man isn't better off.

He can't even open his paper

without being reminded of
the false conceptions of potency,

which put unrealistic demands on him.

And we don't know what
we are going to do about it.

I think there's only one way

and that is the one giving knowledge about
and love for

a more honest sex-life together.

The way it is now, there is
only a sort of puritan sex

which just excites without
meaning anything seriously.

And the sex-pictures of our time
are really a contrast to the earlier ones,

because we have carried out
the attitude "look but don't touch".

That's right. But haven't we lost track.

Aren't we going to show how the unity
grows out of the right technique,

the right understanding, the right
contact and the right patience?

These words are concepts
which are hard to learn.

Let's see how this young couple

has managed with their togetherness
after a couple, three, maybe five years.

Oh, we can fix that tomorrow.

Yes, that's fine.

It's nice to have parties. But it's
even better when they are over.

Do you think that it's best
when we're alone?

Yes, nowadays.

Nowadays?

Yes. Now when everything is so good.

It was a long way.

And think about the beginning,
when I was afraid of your impulsiveness,

but now, now I even like it.

And you have taught me
so much tenderness in this room.

Imagine now having to be a sex athlete.
Just be the way I am.

Imagine that we finally managed
to learn how to be together.

How to lie by each other
without making any demands.

Do you remember the poem by Lindegren?

"Somewhere inside we are always together"

"Somewhere inside
our love can never escape"

"Somewhere inside
we are always, you and I"

Some couples might mature later on
in their partnership.

We also know that women often become
sexually mature later on than men do.

It would be interesting to see how
it works for a middle-aged couple.

- Do you want a drink?
- Yes please, club soda.

Club soda?

- With ice?
- Yes, please.

Did you see how sad Viveka looked?

Yes, she looked really sad.
And lonely.

I'm sure she misses Bengt.

- Yes, but she really is quite well off.
- Well?

Yeah, I mean, she can take
care of herself. Do what she likes.

The worst part is that we can't help her.

She must get over this feeling
of loneliness by herself.

You know what?
You don't have it so bad.

- Yes, I've got you.
- Yes, my love. Cheers.

Imagine that you've put up with me
all these years.

And you with me.

Yes, it's nice of me.

But a couple of years ago,
I had a feeling we were drifting apart.

Yes, I know.

I think it was big of you to forgive me.

It's you I want to be with.
I don't want to be with anybody else.

I have to ask you something. Were you ever
jealous of my first marriage? At Johan?

If I've been jealous? Let me
tell you: I'm still terribly jealous.

But, darling...

You remember that day I came home,
and was tired and sad?

I imagined that I saw in your eyes,
that you wished you were back with Johan.

No. I have never felt that way.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.

Those rough times we had,
I wouldn't want to be without them.

That's when I realized, that you and I,
are two normal human beings.

Two delicate, fragile normal human beings,
that need each other.

- Well, I need you.
- My love.

Fredrik and Margareta didn't look happy.

Can they never stop arguing?
Can they never forgive and forget?

Forgive and forget. That's nice.

Do you remember
the poem by Birger Sjöberg?

Counting be told: Petulance
accounted for and evil so blind...

In the end I am adding - wait and hold!

Summa summarum:
In blood and in mind I love you!

Yes, that's beautiful.

Can you help me with my zipper?

It's a wide-spread misconception,
that the sex life stops at old age.

That's not the case.

Many also believe that the woman's sex
life ends at the same time as menopause.

Nothing could be more wrong!

Kinsey, Masters and Johnson
and many others have shown

that the ability for sexual pleasure
and orgasm is intact.

The oldest sexually active individual
with Masters and Johnson,

was 89 years old.

And it was a woman!

You have to remember that the male
always had a curse upon him.

He's always expected to perform
and get an orgasm, whatever his age.

Maybe it would be nice for him
not to have these demands.

There are so many other forms of giving
and receiving sexual pleasure.

There is no reason not to think

there can be a sex life
for man as well as woman

until the end of life.

It's important to point this out
to young people,

who live under the misconception
that sex is just for the young

and not for the elderly.

Now that we live longer, it's important

that we take advantage
of this ability of enjoyment.

And what now for the future?

These new contraceptives
have meant so much to women

and have helped them to obtain
an independent sexual status.

I think a lot of things will change -
for example the forms of marriage.

And another thing, I think that
the women's sexual liberation

will definitely kill the myth

that the man should have
a greater sexual need.

Yes, that's right. Let's hope that at last

the man and the woman
will be valued equally in society,

even though they still
play their own parts.

And now we hope that our film has helped
to reduce the fear of the unknown,

and that it has given increased knowledge
about human cohabitation,

about tenderness, about sexual joy,

about humanity in the connections
between woman and man.