Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:51,686 --> 00:00:53,487
[upbeat music playing]
2
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:56,356
[Molly] When I think backon my college experience,
3
00:00:56,390 --> 00:01:00,160
my fondest memories are...
4
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,296
Damn.
5
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:03,665
Where'd they all go?
6
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:06,066
- Ah, I've got it.
- [footsteps]
7
00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:08,503
- Hold on, one quick second.
- [bottle opening]
8
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,070
- Hang tight.
- [sips alcohol]
9
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:11,906
- [footsteps]
- [exhales]
10
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:15,309
- [lighter flicks]
- [bubbling]
11
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:18,412
[strained] Yeah.There they are.
12
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,682
They always justcome flooding back.
13
00:01:20,715 --> 00:01:22,282
[exhales] Alright.
14
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,719
When I think backon my college experience,
15
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:27,087
my fondest memories are...
16
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,423
[man] Go! Go! Go! Go!
17
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,960
["I Love It" (feat. Charli XCX)
by Icona Pop playing]
18
00:01:31,993 --> 00:01:33,928
[Molly] Four yearsof tailgating,
19
00:01:33,962 --> 00:01:36,296
serial dating, hookups,
20
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,033
breakup sex, makeup sex.
21
00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:40,535
And then there's this guy.
22
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:41,401
[moans softly]
23
00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:46,808
Four years of endless parties,no parents, no bills,no jobs...
24
00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:49,611
- [screaming]
- ...best friendsand bitter rivals.
25
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:54,949
Any sane person that evergraduated from an instituteof higher learning
26
00:01:54,983 --> 00:02:00,153
will tell you that collegewas hands downthe best years of their lives.
27
00:02:00,755 --> 00:02:03,091
Okay, try and keep
your eyes open.
Jeez. Okay.
28
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:07,695
[Molly] My name is Molly Singerand in college,I had it all figured out.
29
00:02:07,729 --> 00:02:08,963
- [gasps]
- But now?
30
00:02:08,997 --> 00:02:10,230
[sighs]
31
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:11,933
Well...
32
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:16,336
[upbeat music playing]
33
00:02:24,012 --> 00:02:26,080
[Molly inhales] Mm.
34
00:02:26,114 --> 00:02:27,782
Oh, Jesse.
35
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,484
[sighs heavily]
36
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,820
I thought you were
Michael B. Jordan.
37
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,891
Oh, Jesus!
Mrs. Zimmerman.
38
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:40,528
- What are you doing
in my apartment?
- You gave me a key.
39
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,329
For emergencies.
40
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:46,968
Yes, well, I thought
you might be
in distress, or dead.
41
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:50,270
- You need something.
- Yeah, I need something.
42
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:53,508
Could you be a dollface
and drive me to the market?
43
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:57,344
I tried to get a car on Lyft,
but apparently my, uh...
44
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,814
"My account is blocked."
45
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,281
No, no. No air quotes.
46
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,685
No, you have
a shockingly high number
of one-star ratings.
47
00:03:03,718 --> 00:03:06,821
Oh, and it's my fault
that they all drive
like Tijuana kamikazes?
48
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,322
Mm. [gulps]
My God, the racism.
49
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,925
- I'm sorry, what was that?
- [exhales]
50
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,895
I think I need to get
some breakfast first.
51
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,195
Kiddo, it's 9:30.
I think...
52
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,463
- What?
- ...brunch would be
more in order.
53
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,398
- We can have brunch
while we're out.
- Huh?
54
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,835
- Kill two birds
with one stone, right?
- Oh, I... Uh...
55
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,370
You might wanna drag a comb
across that head.
56
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,640
- [clicks tongue] Yeah...
- Come on, baby. Let's go.
57
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:30,545
[groans, mumbles] Oh, God, no.
I didn't want to go to work.
58
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,947
["Boss" by Mad Circuit playing]
59
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:48,096
Good morning, everybody.
We've got a ton of stuff
to get through today.
60
00:03:48,129 --> 00:03:49,931
So let's get... [inhales]
61
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,799
Nelson, I swear to God.
62
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:54,035
Are you curing cancer
on that fucking phone?
63
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:57,672
[mobile game chirps,
whines down]
64
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,874
- Is that your last life?
- [phone ringing]
65
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:00,875
Um...
66
00:04:01,776 --> 00:04:03,644
I have, um, one life left.
67
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:06,514
Okay, why don't you go
finish that up at your desk?
68
00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:07,949
Now?
69
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:09,316
Right fucking now.
70
00:04:09,884 --> 00:04:10,852
Oh.
71
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,491
Whose nephew is that?
Can we please find that out?
72
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,662
Thank you for joining us,
Miss Singer.
73
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,332
Yeah, I, uh, I've been here
a while actually.
74
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,001
Really? 'Cause it looks like
you're coming back
75
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,870
from getting
your pupils dilated.
76
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:31,172
Oh, the glasses.
Yeah. Transitions.
77
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,807
I don't know. [chuckles]
78
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,274
Not working.
79
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,046
[Molly sighs heavily]
80
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:43,718
So do you need
a little bit of nap time
or something? Because I can--
81
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,154
I can give the Pebblebrook case
to one of your colleagues.
82
00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:50,457
Perhaps someone with
aspirations of becoming
partner here one day.
83
00:04:52,827 --> 00:04:54,762
Realistic aspirations.
84
00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:56,831
[associates giggling]
85
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,566
Ah, no, no. I'm...
86
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:00,835
I'm-- I'm great.
87
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:03,971
Joe, how are you?
88
00:05:04,939 --> 00:05:09,342
[heavy breathing]
89
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:11,478
[groans] Oh, God.
90
00:05:15,116 --> 00:05:16,517
[objects clatter]
91
00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:18,085
[Brenda] What the hell
was that back there?
92
00:05:18,119 --> 00:05:20,021
Oh, uh... Yeah,
I think I just got,
93
00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:21,722
like, the flu bug
or something.
94
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:24,391
Really? Breakfast
of champions, I see.
95
00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:28,428
Yeah, I'm just gonna be
really honest with you.
96
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:30,598
The Pebblebrook motion
is giving me an aneurysm
97
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:33,333
and I, I went out last night
for a little stress relief.
98
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:37,404
Think I just overdid it
a little. You know?
99
00:05:38,139 --> 00:05:39,273
You think?
100
00:05:39,307 --> 00:05:40,508
Yeah.
101
00:05:41,576 --> 00:05:44,912
- Oh, Miss Singer.
- [groans, sighs]
102
00:05:44,946 --> 00:05:46,514
You intrigue me.
103
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,950
You are smart.
104
00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:52,253
You bill a ton of hours.
You exude a charming
105
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:53,988
yet ignorant amount
of confidence,
106
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:58,391
that for some ungodly reason
your clients seem to love.
107
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:01,162
[gulping]
108
00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:05,199
But if you think for one second
that this firm needs you
more than you need it,
109
00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:07,201
you are sadly mistaken.
110
00:06:07,235 --> 00:06:08,970
I've got it
all under control.
111
00:06:09,003 --> 00:06:11,572
[stomach growling]
112
00:06:11,606 --> 00:06:13,241
You're gonna throw up,
aren't you?
113
00:06:13,274 --> 00:06:14,942
Yes, I am. Yeah.
114
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,882
You screw up this hearing,
you will never work
in this city again.
115
00:06:20,915 --> 00:06:21,949
Am I clear?
116
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,385
Yes, ma'am.
117
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,857
[retches]
118
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:31,993
[coughs]
119
00:06:32,026 --> 00:06:33,261
Oh, that is sour.
120
00:06:33,294 --> 00:06:35,162
Oh, piss off, Nelson.
121
00:06:36,631 --> 00:06:38,866
[jazz music playing]
122
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,935
[Paulie] Oh, hey, Paulie.
How was your night last night?
123
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:43,237
Oh, it was great.
I hooked up with my Uber driver.
124
00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:44,437
He was really hot.
125
00:06:45,039 --> 00:06:48,376
[singsongy] You don't care
'cause you're not listening.
126
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,211
Okay. Just...
127
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,679
- Hey!
- [groans]
128
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:52,546
Watch it.
129
00:06:53,014 --> 00:06:54,447
Okay, you know what?
This is bumming me out.
130
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:55,683
[chuckles]
131
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,084
When you invited me
to a work dinner,
132
00:06:57,118 --> 00:06:59,320
you didn't say there was
gonna be work at the dinner.
133
00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:00,588
- Hmm.
- So do you see me working?
134
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,156
Well, I'm sure they've got
135
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,724
a few cans of mixed vegetables
136
00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:05,559
you could crack open
for them in the back.
137
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,427
Whatever. At least
I like my job.
138
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,997
Oh, you do not like your job
and you know it.
139
00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:14,035
I love my job. I get to work
with kids and teach them
about nutrition and shit.
140
00:07:14,068 --> 00:07:15,236
What? You work at a cafeteria.
141
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,470
What kind of nutritional
benefits are you teaching them?
142
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:19,807
The difference between
chocolate and 2% milk?
143
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,343
Mm. Joke's on you.
We have oat milk now.
144
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:24,779
- No, shit? Very fancy.
- Yeah. So fancy.
145
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:27,214
- What, are there
a lot of white kids?
- A lot of white kids.
146
00:07:27,248 --> 00:07:29,317
- Okay.
- So many white kids.
147
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:31,352
You know, I think
that you should go back.
148
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:32,687
Go back to school
for the semester.
149
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,755
Get your parents to unlock
your trust fund.
150
00:07:34,789 --> 00:07:36,857
Mol, can you just drop it.
We've had this conversation.
151
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:39,927
- Why wouldn't you do it?
- It's complicated.
152
00:07:39,961 --> 00:07:41,228
It's your foolish pride
153
00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:44,398
and I am telling you
that is gonna get
in the-- Oh, shit.
154
00:07:44,432 --> 00:07:46,499
- Look away. Look away. Quickly.
- What?
155
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:49,103
- Look away. Look away.
[shushing]
- What?
156
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,204
Molly Singer?
157
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,474
Poles! Wow!
158
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,777
- Poles, yeah.
- [chuckles]
159
00:07:56,811 --> 00:07:58,145
[laughs]
160
00:07:58,179 --> 00:07:59,280
Good to see you.
161
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,514
- Hiya.
- Hey, oh. Okay.
162
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:01,649
[laughter]
163
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:04,352
- Poles?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm. Poles.
164
00:08:04,385 --> 00:08:06,220
It was my pledge name
at Barnett.
165
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,122
- Oh. What does it mean?
- Yeah.
166
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,825
Well, uh, we were
on this ski trip
and Handy Moore over here--
167
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:14,328
It was a nickname.
It was just like
a semi-truthful nickname.
168
00:08:14,362 --> 00:08:15,696
- Oh, okay.
- Mm.
169
00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:17,732
Yeah, she was just always
in the hotel room, you know?
170
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:21,702
Practicing her form
with two very big ski poles,
firm grip.
171
00:08:21,736 --> 00:08:23,337
So, like, kind of
like this, like...
172
00:08:23,371 --> 00:08:25,272
- Ooh. Look out.
- [Molly] Yup.
173
00:08:25,306 --> 00:08:26,974
- We're going down
a black diamond?
- [Paulie] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
174
00:08:27,008 --> 00:08:29,543
- Totally getting it. That's it.
- [Molly and Trina laughs]
175
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:31,312
- I was just thinking.
- Yeah.
176
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,913
- Yeah.
- I thought you might be here
177
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:34,982
- with your husband, but...
- Um...
178
00:08:35,016 --> 00:08:37,485
- Aw, it's just Paulie.
- [laughs]
179
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,753
But you guys are married...
180
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:40,421
- [Charles] Yeah.
- ...so that's cool.
181
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:42,223
- Very cool.
- Four amazing years
182
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:44,191
- with my Charles here.
- Wow.
183
00:08:44,225 --> 00:08:48,295
White picket fence,
two-year-old daughter,
yeast rising on another.
184
00:08:48,329 --> 00:08:53,134
I guess the icing on the cake
is I was just made full partner
at my firm.
185
00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:55,970
Yeah. She's my rock star.
I'm a stay-at-home dad.
186
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,805
- Well, you know what they say.
- [laughs] Yeah.
187
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,408
When you find love,
you gotta hold
onto it tight! Right?
188
00:09:00,441 --> 00:09:02,610
- Grab it! Never let go.
- Really tight.
189
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,111
- [grunts]
- [chuckles]
190
00:09:04,145 --> 00:09:07,048
It's just the two of you.
Mm? Yeah, just like always.
191
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,617
Well, have a good dinner.
See you, guys.
192
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:10,785
- Great to see you.
- Yeah.
193
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,286
Nice pearl necklace,
by the way.
194
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,355
- Thank you.
I like to coordinate.
- I bought it for her.
195
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,991
- [Paulie] What
a fucking asshole.
- [Trina sighs]
196
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,859
So you liked the poles
in your hands?
197
00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:20,594
- I don't understand.
- Shut up, Charles.
198
00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:25,499
[Elliot breathes heavily]
199
00:09:25,534 --> 00:09:28,436
Alright. Alright, you got this.
200
00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:30,571
Confidence. Come on. Come on.
201
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:33,774
Shirt looks good.
Shark tooth, that's sick.
202
00:09:35,109 --> 00:09:36,477
Hair's good.
203
00:09:36,511 --> 00:09:38,312
Come on.
You know this, let's go.
204
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:39,780
Let's do it, come on.
205
00:09:39,814 --> 00:09:41,816
Badass, badass, badass,
badass, badass.
206
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,050
- [cell phone beeps]
- [exhales]
207
00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:46,854
TikTok MMA style,
motherfucker. Let's go.
208
00:09:54,195 --> 00:09:55,564
[grunting]
209
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:56,997
- Hey!
- Aah!
210
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,032
That was so great.
211
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,468
So great up until that,
you know, the end,
212
00:10:00,502 --> 00:10:02,002
but great form.
213
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,804
- [Brenda chuckles]
- [sighs]
214
00:10:03,838 --> 00:10:05,406
Haven't you heard of knocking?
215
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:07,741
I'm trying to perfect
my TikTok game.
216
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:10,512
Okay. Well, I don't even know
what that means.
217
00:10:10,545 --> 00:10:15,649
But, um, I have
a really great surprise
for you tonight.
218
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:17,651
No, no.
I don't like surprises.
219
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,253
They give me anxiety.
220
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,321
Mm-hmm.
221
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,426
Elliot, honey. [sighs]
222
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:28,262
You sit up here
in your room all day.
223
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:32,466
All you do is this TikTok thing
and, and play video games.
224
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,001
You don't show up
for your friends.
225
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:37,138
You don't show up
for me, for dinner.
226
00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:40,341
We always used to go out
to dinner as a family together
227
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:41,976
the night before
you'd go to camp,
228
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,678
and this is so much bigger
than that, honey.
229
00:10:45,146 --> 00:10:46,413
It's college.
230
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:53,254
So can you please just humor
your mother this one time?
231
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,089
[exhales]
232
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,691
'Cause there's
a really great buffet
233
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,793
that I keep hearing
about. [chuckles]
234
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:02,096
I wanna take you to it, so...
235
00:11:03,264 --> 00:11:05,132
You do love buffets.
236
00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:06,568
Mm-hmm.
237
00:11:06,601 --> 00:11:10,171
I do. [chuckles]
Alright.
238
00:11:10,204 --> 00:11:11,906
["Churros" by Crypto Bunny
playing over speakers]
239
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,307
[DJ on mic]
That's right, don't forget
240
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,576
to tip your cocktail waitress.
241
00:11:14,609 --> 00:11:16,611
And coming up to the stageto light it up
242
00:11:16,645 --> 00:11:19,713
for you fellasright now is Passion!
243
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:20,915
Do your thang, girl.
244
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,584
[Brenda] So you form the S-corp,
245
00:11:22,617 --> 00:11:24,619
and the club hires you
as a vendor.
246
00:11:24,653 --> 00:11:26,887
The tax break was great,
but it stopped you
247
00:11:26,921 --> 00:11:28,523
from getting
all your deductions.
248
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:30,925
It'd still cover shoes,
though, right?
249
00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:34,094
Well, as long as you can claim
they're a costume for work
250
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,697
and, you know, not functional
in your day-to-day life.
251
00:11:38,232 --> 00:11:40,834
Oh, yeah, girl,
those are deductible. [laughs]
252
00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:44,939
Oh. Is this great
or what? [chuckles]
253
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,241
Yeah, it's just--
it's kinda hard to breathe.
254
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,511
Oh, it's all part
of the experience, son.
255
00:11:49,544 --> 00:11:52,313
I know this would have been
more of your dad's territory,
256
00:11:52,346 --> 00:11:54,181
but I think it's kind of cool.
257
00:11:54,616 --> 00:11:57,017
Great music, scampi.
258
00:11:58,452 --> 00:12:01,889
- [ladies giggling]
- [indistinct club chatter]
259
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,626
Hey, give it a little
spanky spank.
260
00:12:04,659 --> 00:12:06,794
I-- I don't wanna
spanky spank.
261
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,531
No better time
than the present. TikTok.
262
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,066
No, that's not even
what TikTok is!
263
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,603
- Just tap it.
Just a little tap.
- No! No, stop. Stop.
264
00:12:14,636 --> 00:12:16,170
Be a man!
265
00:12:18,372 --> 00:12:19,608
[gasps, grunts]
266
00:12:19,641 --> 00:12:22,544
[groans]
267
00:12:22,577 --> 00:12:23,678
- Oh.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
268
00:12:23,712 --> 00:12:25,412
And that, son,
269
00:12:25,446 --> 00:12:28,415
is an important lesson
in consent.
270
00:12:28,449 --> 00:12:29,950
From kissing to coitus,
271
00:12:29,984 --> 00:12:32,086
- what are we gonna do?
- Ask?
272
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,455
You're goddamn right we are
and you're not gonna listen
273
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:36,423
to PJ, Tobin, and Squee.
274
00:12:36,457 --> 00:12:37,891
Who?
275
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,160
- Thanks, ladies. Nice work.
- No problem.
276
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:43,063
- Judge Stanton says hi.
- Oh, I'm sure he does.
277
00:12:43,698 --> 00:12:46,433
Well, see you ladies
at gym class. Let's go.
278
00:12:48,703 --> 00:12:51,171
What the fuck just happened?
279
00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:56,043
♪
280
00:13:02,717 --> 00:13:04,885
I cannot believe
we ran into Poles.
281
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,287
Are we still talking
about this?
282
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,322
I might as well been holding
a Daniel Steele novel
283
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:11,559
and a bag of kitty litter
for my seven fucking cats
waiting for me at home.
284
00:13:11,593 --> 00:13:13,961
You're slipping, Mol.
I would have lead
with the fact we caught her
285
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,429
giving two handies
at that ski trip.
286
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,931
No, we are too old
to be slut-shaming,
don't you think?
287
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,867
Not if it's Poles.
She's the worst.
288
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,770
- Seriously.
- Oh. [mumbles]
289
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:24,271
- [bouncer clears throat]
- [Molly] Oh! [chuckles]
290
00:13:24,305 --> 00:13:26,641
- Back of the line.
- Oh, I'm with her, so...
291
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:28,075
That is terrific.
292
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,210
Back of the line.
Both of you.
293
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,514
- What just happened?
- Oh, my God.
294
00:13:32,547 --> 00:13:34,315
He can smell
the loser on me.
295
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:36,685
That's the dumbest fucking thing
I've ever heard.
296
00:13:36,718 --> 00:13:39,219
No, no, no, no,
she's actually right.
She reeks of it.
297
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:41,021
It's cutting through all
the Armenian guys' cologne.
298
00:13:41,055 --> 00:13:44,592
So can you please make
my job easier
and get to the back?
299
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:47,662
- Thank you.
- Okay, that was a sign.
300
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:50,030
I have Pebblebrook tomorrow.
I need to go home
and get some rest.
301
00:13:50,064 --> 00:13:51,332
You can't go home dry-docking.
302
00:13:51,365 --> 00:13:52,966
- You'll be in hell all night.
- Yeah--
303
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,669
Hey. Okay. We're not gonna end
the night like this.
304
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:56,003
Not on my watch. Okay?
305
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,639
- Just give me a sec.
- I'm not standing-- Okay.
306
00:13:57,672 --> 00:13:59,840
Give me a sec.
[clears throat]
307
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,909
Hello, gentlemen.
308
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,945
Uh... [indistinct]
309
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,947
I'm the manager,
and, uh...
310
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:08,916
[sighs heavily]
311
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,485
[indistinct conversation]
312
00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:13,621
What? What did you say?
313
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,989
You're Carly Rae Jepsen,
I'm your manager.
314
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,826
- Just go with it.
- Who?
315
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:19,893
I really question
our friendship sometimes.
316
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:21,462
Hello.
317
00:14:21,495 --> 00:14:24,231
["Fierce" by Hotline playing]
318
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:21,523
[gasps, exhales]
319
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,424
What? No.
320
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,260
[heavy breathing]
321
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:27,327
[body thuds]
322
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:28,395
[sighs]
323
00:15:28,429 --> 00:15:30,330
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
324
00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:35,035
Want some pancakes, Mol?
325
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:38,873
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck me!
326
00:15:38,907 --> 00:15:41,008
[groans]
327
00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:44,378
Selfish. Selfish.
328
00:15:46,748 --> 00:15:47,981
Guess not.
329
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:53,922
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
330
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:56,356
I left the car at the club!
331
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:57,357
Fuck!
332
00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:19,313
El?
333
00:16:19,914 --> 00:16:23,116
- [Elliot] Yeah.
- Wow.
334
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,985
I thought I was gonna have
to blackmail you
335
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,020
to get you out of bed
this morning.
336
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,958
You gonna take that bag?
337
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,325
Yeah, it's the one
that Dad gave me.
338
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,927
Yeah, I know,
I know he did.
339
00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:34,328
And you know,
when you were little,
340
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,564
it was so cute when you--
you could fit inside of it
341
00:16:36,598 --> 00:16:39,132
and we'd joke around
that we were gonna save
money on tickets
342
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:42,637
'cause we could fly you cargo,
but this is, um...
343
00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:46,240
I mean, don't you think now
this is a little tacky?
344
00:16:48,776 --> 00:16:50,578
You know, Mom,
I-I've been thinking,
345
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,582
um, about what you said
last night,
346
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,450
and you're right.
347
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,654
You know, ever since Dad passed,
I've just been...
348
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,289
Well...
349
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,593
Nothing really, I suppose.
350
00:17:05,627 --> 00:17:06,594
Um...
351
00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,731
But what I do know is that...
352
00:17:10,765 --> 00:17:12,132
Dad was all about showing up.
353
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,101
So that's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna show up.
354
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,641
[clicks tongue] Okay,
you can keep the frigging bag.
355
00:17:19,674 --> 00:17:22,242
I will get you a matching set
for Hanukkah. [sniffles]
356
00:17:22,276 --> 00:17:23,611
Um, you're still
in your robes, Mom.
357
00:17:23,645 --> 00:17:27,682
Right. Oh. Damn it.
Um, 20 minutes, 20 minutes.
358
00:17:27,715 --> 00:17:29,751
[tense music playing]
359
00:17:36,658 --> 00:17:41,529
Mr. Pebblebrook,
your counsel has till I get
through the sports section.
360
00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:49,737
Shit!
361
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,307
[panting]
362
00:18:01,049 --> 00:18:03,083
[frustrated groan] Shit.
363
00:18:04,886 --> 00:18:05,853
Damn.
364
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,656
[Molly] Coming through!
Excuse me!
365
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:15,195
Oh, sorry.
366
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,702
Sorry. Sorry.
367
00:18:21,703 --> 00:18:22,837
- [grunts]
- [thuds]
368
00:18:33,081 --> 00:18:34,549
[panting continues]
369
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,652
- Objection.
- Shit.
370
00:18:38,519 --> 00:18:41,121
- Manolo Blahnik or...?
- What?
371
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,422
Ooh, say...
372
00:18:43,057 --> 00:18:45,526
They say you snort
the gel inside here,
373
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,260
you can fucking fly
to the moon and back.
374
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:48,763
I don't know what
you're talking about.
You can have those.
375
00:18:48,796 --> 00:18:50,732
- Oh, no, you--
- They're all yours, buddy.
376
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,838
[Judge Davis] That's it.
377
00:18:58,539 --> 00:19:01,174
Sorry, I know I'm late. I know.
378
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:05,513
Sorry, Mr. Pebblebrook.
379
00:19:05,546 --> 00:19:09,449
Based on absence
of oral argument
by the moving party,
380
00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:11,552
the motion for summary judgment
is denied...
381
00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:13,353
[heavy breathing]
382
00:19:13,387 --> 00:19:14,822
...with prejudice.
383
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:19,093
I'm here! I'm here! Wait!
384
00:19:19,127 --> 00:19:24,431
[panting, heavy breathing]
385
00:19:27,702 --> 00:19:28,670
Huh?
386
00:19:31,739 --> 00:19:34,909
Oh... [sighs]
387
00:19:42,550 --> 00:19:46,353
["Elevated"
by Night Swimmer playing]
388
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,756
[indistinct chatter]
389
00:20:03,905 --> 00:20:05,807
[indistinct chatter]
390
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,340
[reporter] Now that the leg
is fully healed,
391
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,677
are you taking us to
the national championship game?
392
00:20:09,711 --> 00:20:12,345
Uh, with God's determination
and his healing hands,
393
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,781
that's the plan, no doubt.
394
00:20:13,815 --> 00:20:17,051
And you surpassed
over a thousand yards last year.
395
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,385
You plan to surpass
that this year?
396
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,788
Oh, yeah, most definitely.
I mean, you know,
397
00:20:20,822 --> 00:20:22,056
this is what I do, so...
398
00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:23,725
So the dorms are great.
399
00:20:23,758 --> 00:20:26,359
Even though your room's
the size of my shoe closet.
400
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,096
Well, I don't think
it's that bad.
401
00:20:28,129 --> 00:20:30,031
I mean, your shoe closet
is pretty big.
402
00:20:30,064 --> 00:20:33,034
And the girl-to-guy ratio
is really playing in your favor.
403
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,502
Mom. No. Don't.
404
00:20:34,535 --> 00:20:36,704
I'm just saying
from a numbers perspective.
405
00:20:36,738 --> 00:20:38,740
Don't you have to go
to work or something?
406
00:20:38,773 --> 00:20:42,009
Anything other than talking
about girl-to-guy ratios?
407
00:20:42,043 --> 00:20:43,010
[sighs]
408
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:48,381
This is gonna be the best
four years of your life,
I promise.
409
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:53,420
You are gonna do great things,
Elliot Steiner.
410
00:20:55,523 --> 00:20:56,356
Come on.
411
00:20:56,858 --> 00:21:00,427
["Happy To Be Here"
by Dawdy & Menna playing]
412
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,296
Mm. All that's left
is the body snatcher.
413
00:21:04,065 --> 00:21:06,466
You wanna get in it
one last time
for old time's sake?
414
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:09,103
Mom, people can hear you.
Please.
415
00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:10,972
- Sorry.
- [phone rings, vibrates]
416
00:21:11,005 --> 00:21:13,641
Dammit, I told her
not to bother me
on my last day with you.
417
00:21:13,674 --> 00:21:15,209
- This is...
- [phone rings, vibrates]
418
00:21:15,243 --> 00:21:16,811
Maybe it's an emergency.
419
00:21:17,845 --> 00:21:18,813
[beeps]
420
00:21:19,981 --> 00:21:22,884
[exhales] The office
better be burning
to the fucking ground.
421
00:21:24,986 --> 00:21:26,521
She did what?!
422
00:21:26,554 --> 00:21:29,389
- ["Happy To Be Here" playing]
- [car revving]
423
00:21:35,897 --> 00:21:36,931
[skater grunts]
424
00:21:40,902 --> 00:21:42,503
[indistinct chatter]
425
00:21:42,537 --> 00:21:45,206
[male reporter] Do you think
you're gonna break
your record from last year?
426
00:21:45,239 --> 00:21:47,275
- Oh. Oh...
- [student] Look out!
427
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,943
Too many questions.
Too many questions now.
428
00:21:48,976 --> 00:21:51,179
[indistinct conversation]
429
00:21:52,013 --> 00:21:54,148
By the way it's going,
I might not get tacked all year.
430
00:21:54,182 --> 00:21:55,983
Whoa! [yelling]
431
00:21:56,017 --> 00:21:58,252
- Where does it hurt?
- Fuck, man! I think
I broke my ankle!
432
00:21:58,286 --> 00:22:00,288
- Which ankle is it?
- This one! [yells]
433
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,488
Do you think
you can play this season?
434
00:22:01,522 --> 00:22:03,691
What? I don't know.
I just broke my ankle.
435
00:22:03,724 --> 00:22:04,859
Hey, it was him!
436
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:06,928
- Let's fucking get him!
- What?
437
00:22:06,961 --> 00:22:08,495
[overlapping chatter]
438
00:22:08,529 --> 00:22:10,565
You better run! Get him!
439
00:22:10,598 --> 00:22:12,533
- [student 2] Get him!
- [student 3] Come here, man!
440
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,803
[Bob Menery] Well, Peter,a world record.
441
00:22:15,837 --> 00:22:18,573
While normally reservedfor professional athletes,
442
00:22:18,606 --> 00:22:20,675
this week's DailyUpper Decker Award
443
00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:23,211
goes to none other thancollege freshman,
444
00:22:23,244 --> 00:22:24,477
Elliot Steiner,
445
00:22:24,512 --> 00:22:27,081
who single-handedlywrecked the MVP run
446
00:22:27,114 --> 00:22:30,885
of potential first-rounddraft pick,Demetrius Moss.
447
00:22:30,918 --> 00:22:32,920
Whoa! [yelling]
448
00:22:32,954 --> 00:22:34,322
- [female reporter]
Where does it hurt?
- [groans]
449
00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:38,893
[yelling]
450
00:22:38,926 --> 00:22:40,995
[slow motion yelling]
451
00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:43,564
[Bob] Time to get the fuckout of dodge, kid.
452
00:22:43,598 --> 00:22:45,032
[student 1] ...fucking get him!
453
00:22:45,066 --> 00:22:47,400
[tires screeching]
454
00:22:48,336 --> 00:22:49,604
[student 2]
Wait till I catch you!
455
00:22:49,637 --> 00:22:51,105
[student 3]
Hey, you're dead, man!
456
00:22:51,138 --> 00:22:53,975
[indistinct shouting]
457
00:22:54,008 --> 00:22:56,010
♪
458
00:22:57,812 --> 00:22:59,046
[Brenda] Singer!
459
00:22:59,881 --> 00:23:02,750
Do you have any ideahow fucked this is?!
460
00:23:02,783 --> 00:23:05,953
Pebblebrook
is threatening to sue us
for mishandling his case.
461
00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:09,056
You not only lost me money,
you are costing me money.
462
00:23:09,090 --> 00:23:12,193
- Brenda, I can fix this.
- Yeah, you can,
by packing your shit
463
00:23:12,226 --> 00:23:13,895
- and getting the fuck
out of my office.
- [phone beeps]
464
00:23:13,928 --> 00:23:15,495
- [assistant] Mrs. Steiner?
- What?!
465
00:23:15,529 --> 00:23:17,932
- Y-your son is on line one.
- Move.
466
00:23:21,936 --> 00:23:23,137
[sighs heavily]
467
00:23:24,471 --> 00:23:26,439
Hey, my love,
how's your first day going?
468
00:23:26,473 --> 00:23:28,676
- I'm coming home.
- What?
469
00:23:28,709 --> 00:23:32,313
- What happened?
- Check your text messages.
470
00:23:32,346 --> 00:23:33,681
[Bob on video]
...Elliot Steiner,
471
00:23:33,714 --> 00:23:36,284
who single-handedlywrecked the MVP run
472
00:23:36,317 --> 00:23:38,519
of potential first-rounddraft pick,
473
00:23:38,552 --> 00:23:40,254
- Demetrius Moss.
- [Brenda] Oh.
474
00:23:40,288 --> 00:23:41,389
[Demetrius yelling on video]
475
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:42,757
Well, I mean, it's--
476
00:23:42,790 --> 00:23:44,125
I'm sure it's not that bad.
477
00:23:44,158 --> 00:23:45,425
It'll blow over.
478
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:47,228
I'm literally packing
my bags right now.
479
00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:50,831
[Brenda] Oh, come on, honey.
Steiners are not quitters.
We're fighters.
480
00:23:50,865 --> 00:23:53,433
I'm not a fighter.
I'm a Daily Upper Decker.
481
00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:55,102
I don't even know
what that means.
482
00:23:55,136 --> 00:23:56,771
It's shit, Ma! It's shit. Okay?
483
00:23:56,804 --> 00:23:59,472
It's when you take a--
a shit in the tank of a toilet
484
00:23:59,507 --> 00:24:01,075
and then when you flush it,it's just shit.
485
00:24:01,108 --> 00:24:02,843
It's perpetual continuous shit.
486
00:24:06,747 --> 00:24:10,051
[Brenda] Honey,
your father wanted you
to go to his alma mater.
487
00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:17,792
Give me that. Sit down.
488
00:24:17,825 --> 00:24:19,794
- Sit down!
- [picture frame thuds]
489
00:24:20,628 --> 00:24:21,929
What do you wanna hear?
490
00:24:21,963 --> 00:24:23,097
Yeah,
491
00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:25,833
you were dealtthe shitty hand.So was I.
492
00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:28,903
But it's where you go from here
that determines
493
00:24:28,936 --> 00:24:31,205
what kind of a man
you become, son.
494
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,608
Are you an Upper Decker?
495
00:24:35,676 --> 00:24:38,980
Or are you my brave number two?
496
00:24:39,814 --> 00:24:43,417
You realize in this scenario,
I'm a piece of shit either way.
497
00:24:43,884 --> 00:24:45,653
Yeah, I'm just realizing that.
498
00:24:45,686 --> 00:24:48,356
It's not-- not my best analogy.
499
00:24:48,389 --> 00:24:50,858
[sighs heavily]
500
00:24:51,959 --> 00:24:53,894
But I have a feeling
that, um...
501
00:24:55,162 --> 00:24:56,831
everything's gonna work out.
502
00:24:57,365 --> 00:24:58,833
Can you trust me?
503
00:25:01,469 --> 00:25:02,636
Yeah.
504
00:25:10,011 --> 00:25:14,248
You went to undergrad
at Barnett University, right?
505
00:25:14,281 --> 00:25:17,318
Uh, y-yes, ma'am.
506
00:25:17,351 --> 00:25:19,353
And you were president
of your sorority
507
00:25:19,387 --> 00:25:22,857
and I'm sure you were popular
with all the guys, right?
508
00:25:22,890 --> 00:25:25,126
I mean, yeah, a little...
Look at you.
509
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:26,927
Um...
510
00:25:27,628 --> 00:25:30,064
- My son, Elliot...
- Mm.
511
00:25:30,097 --> 00:25:32,433
...is just starting
his freshman year
at Barnett
512
00:25:32,466 --> 00:25:35,403
and he's had a little bit
of a, a misstep.
513
00:25:35,436 --> 00:25:38,305
- Yeah, the Upper Decker video?
- What?
514
00:25:38,339 --> 00:25:40,241
Yeah, Nelson showed it
to us earlier.
515
00:25:40,274 --> 00:25:41,642
Fucking moron.
516
00:25:41,675 --> 00:25:44,545
- Mm.
- Um...
517
00:25:45,746 --> 00:25:47,314
The thing is, my son...
518
00:25:48,015 --> 00:25:51,085
My son is a really good kid,
but he, um...
519
00:25:52,319 --> 00:25:53,888
He's a recluse.
520
00:25:53,921 --> 00:25:55,289
Oh.
521
00:25:55,322 --> 00:25:56,457
So it's gonna take
somebody else
522
00:25:56,490 --> 00:25:57,992
to help him come out
of his shell.
523
00:25:58,025 --> 00:25:59,160
[Molly] Yeah.
524
00:25:59,193 --> 00:26:03,097
And that someone is you.
525
00:26:04,832 --> 00:26:05,633
Me?
526
00:26:05,666 --> 00:26:07,701
Yeah, see,
the way I see it is,
527
00:26:07,735 --> 00:26:09,538
I want my son to be happy
528
00:26:09,570 --> 00:26:11,572
and you need a job.
529
00:26:11,605 --> 00:26:13,140
Oh, so I'm not fired?
530
00:26:13,174 --> 00:26:16,043
Oh, no, you're definitely
still fired. [laughs]
531
00:26:16,077 --> 00:26:18,746
No, uh, I'm saying
that I would like to hire you
532
00:26:18,779 --> 00:26:21,816
to go back to Barnett
as a student,
533
00:26:21,849 --> 00:26:23,851
but obviously with
a different last name.
534
00:26:23,884 --> 00:26:26,187
I'll have the art
and tech department
hook you up,
535
00:26:26,220 --> 00:26:28,789
get you a new student ID,
transcripts,
everything you need.
536
00:26:28,823 --> 00:26:30,891
[stammers] I just don't--
I don't think that they--
537
00:26:30,925 --> 00:26:32,326
No, that's the problem.
You don't think.
538
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,862
Otherwise, you would still have
your fucking job, so...
539
00:26:35,596 --> 00:26:36,831
- Ah...
- I just-- I, I--
540
00:26:36,864 --> 00:26:39,233
I want you to take him
under your wing.
541
00:26:39,266 --> 00:26:42,470
You know, help him--
help him meet some friends.
542
00:26:42,504 --> 00:26:44,305
- His father was Ki Mu.
- Oh.
543
00:26:44,338 --> 00:26:46,674
So he's a legacy.
Help him get into the frat.
544
00:26:46,707 --> 00:26:48,809
Yeah, I mean, I--
I just don't know
anything about--
545
00:26:48,843 --> 00:26:50,377
You have until
Homecoming weekend,
546
00:26:50,411 --> 00:26:52,113
which is exactly
two months from now.
547
00:26:53,047 --> 00:26:56,551
In exchange, I will pay you
half of your salary.
548
00:26:56,585 --> 00:26:59,253
- What?
- And if you succeed,
549
00:26:59,954 --> 00:27:02,256
we can talk about you
coming back to the firm.
550
00:27:04,959 --> 00:27:07,361
[stammers]
551
00:27:07,394 --> 00:27:11,365
You wanna pay me
to go back to Barnett?
552
00:27:13,134 --> 00:27:14,101
Yeah.
553
00:27:16,837 --> 00:27:17,805
Oh...
554
00:27:18,672 --> 00:27:22,409
[school bell ringing]
555
00:27:22,443 --> 00:27:24,678
♪
556
00:27:24,712 --> 00:27:27,314
[indistinct chatter]
557
00:27:33,287 --> 00:27:35,456
Hey, there's my Becky.
558
00:27:35,489 --> 00:27:36,757
Thank you.
559
00:27:38,292 --> 00:27:41,095
You just had to give out
that second fruit cup, huh?
560
00:27:41,795 --> 00:27:43,565
Why'd I do it, Walter?
Do you know?
561
00:27:43,598 --> 00:27:44,899
'Cause you're a fucking
kiss-ass.
562
00:27:44,932 --> 00:27:46,934
- Oh, fuck you. It's 'cause...
- [mouthing]
563
00:27:46,967 --> 00:27:48,936
...little Becky there's got
a soccer game this afternoon
564
00:27:48,969 --> 00:27:51,640
and she needs the extra fuel.
Isn't that right, Becky?
565
00:27:51,672 --> 00:27:53,707
Yeah! How many goals
you scoring today?
566
00:27:53,741 --> 00:27:56,110
I'm the goalie.
567
00:27:56,777 --> 00:27:59,180
Yeah, you are! Goal!
568
00:28:00,414 --> 00:28:03,518
Get your cooties away
from my station.
What'd I tell you?
569
00:28:03,552 --> 00:28:05,686
Oh, I'm sorry,
was it one workstation
570
00:28:05,719 --> 00:28:07,354
- behind you?
- Yes. Jesus.
571
00:28:07,388 --> 00:28:08,590
[Molly] Paulie!
572
00:28:08,623 --> 00:28:11,660
It is time to retire
your hairnet,
573
00:28:11,692 --> 00:28:13,794
pack up your sh-- stuff.
574
00:28:13,827 --> 00:28:16,330
Hi, children.
We're going back to Barnett.
575
00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:18,866
- What are you talking about?
- Okay, so here's the update.
576
00:28:18,899 --> 00:28:20,134
Got to court,
a little bit late...
577
00:28:20,167 --> 00:28:22,604
Look, you know,
I'm really sorry about that.
578
00:28:22,637 --> 00:28:24,805
- [Molly] Ooh! Ooh!
- [kid] Ooh.
579
00:28:24,838 --> 00:28:27,576
Get back to your station
and don't fucking touch me.
580
00:28:28,242 --> 00:28:29,944
- [Molly] Paulie.
- [clears throat]
581
00:28:30,645 --> 00:28:32,713
My apologies. Uh...
582
00:28:32,746 --> 00:28:34,882
That's on me.
Juice boxes for everybody.
583
00:28:34,915 --> 00:28:38,319
[indistinct chatter]
584
00:28:38,352 --> 00:28:40,888
Okay, I don't think
you're getting it.
I really, really don't.
585
00:28:40,921 --> 00:28:43,724
I'm getting paid
to go back to college. Okay?
586
00:28:43,757 --> 00:28:45,859
- And you're gonna come with me.
- Hard pass, Mol.
587
00:28:45,893 --> 00:28:47,261
Walter's got me
on management track.
588
00:28:47,294 --> 00:28:50,297
Paulie, I need you.
Seriously, we can go back,
589
00:28:50,331 --> 00:28:53,100
have a great time,
party like we used to.
590
00:28:53,133 --> 00:28:54,868
You can finish
your degree, finally.
591
00:28:54,902 --> 00:28:56,504
And then when you unlock
your trust,
592
00:28:56,538 --> 00:28:58,573
you could just buy
the whole cafeteria,
593
00:28:58,607 --> 00:29:00,274
have it named after you.
594
00:29:00,307 --> 00:29:01,509
Maybe even...
595
00:29:01,543 --> 00:29:04,078
[whispering] ...fire Walter.
596
00:29:05,980 --> 00:29:08,115
- Fire Walter?
- Why not?
597
00:29:08,148 --> 00:29:10,751
- Okay, I really wanna go.
- Okay. We're getting you out.
598
00:29:10,784 --> 00:29:12,886
- Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we got it. We got it.
599
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,321
- Alright.
- [exclaims]
600
00:29:14,355 --> 00:29:15,690
Oh, I wanna fire Walter!
601
00:29:15,724 --> 00:29:17,258
- Yeah!
- Fuck you!
602
00:29:17,291 --> 00:29:18,492
[Molly exhales]
603
00:29:18,526 --> 00:29:19,760
See ya, kids!
604
00:29:20,427 --> 00:29:21,462
[whispers] Fuck you.
605
00:29:21,495 --> 00:29:24,365
["Flex" by Kali J playing]
606
00:29:59,701 --> 00:30:00,834
[music abruptly ends]
607
00:30:00,868 --> 00:30:03,070
Sorry, no housing available.
608
00:30:03,538 --> 00:30:05,239
- Huh?
- [bell dings]
609
00:30:05,272 --> 00:30:06,940
What do you mean
there's no housing available?
610
00:30:06,974 --> 00:30:08,809
Record enrollment.
611
00:30:08,842 --> 00:30:11,045
Did you not read your freshman
orientation packet?
612
00:30:11,078 --> 00:30:13,914
Because if you had,
you'd know that the dorms
need to be secured
613
00:30:13,947 --> 00:30:15,949
- two months in advance.
- Oh, okay.
614
00:30:15,983 --> 00:30:18,118
- Barnett...
- Well, what about
private housing?
615
00:30:18,152 --> 00:30:21,922
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh. Record enrollment.
616
00:30:21,955 --> 00:30:23,457
- Oh, boy.
- What is up with people
617
00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:25,527
that have the ability to hear?
Yet nobody ever listens.
618
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,162
- [Molly] I hate that.
- Okay, campus Barbie, listen.
619
00:30:28,195 --> 00:30:30,230
- I--
- Look, here's the deal.
620
00:30:30,264 --> 00:30:32,801
We've just been traveling
so much the last few years,
621
00:30:32,833 --> 00:30:36,036
dedicating our lives
to helping children in need
622
00:30:36,070 --> 00:30:38,640
on a grassroots level
for little to no pay.
623
00:30:38,673 --> 00:30:40,040
- [phone ringing]
- And now...
624
00:30:41,375 --> 00:30:44,512
We need to come back
and finish school
625
00:30:44,546 --> 00:30:47,682
so we can take our local efforts
to the global stage,
626
00:30:47,716 --> 00:30:53,020
and I'm talking Malawi,
Namibia, Darfur.
627
00:30:53,987 --> 00:30:55,557
[phone ringing continues]
628
00:30:58,125 --> 00:31:01,061
- I'll tell you
what I can do. Okay?
- Okay.
629
00:31:01,730 --> 00:31:04,632
Not a fucking thing.
America first.
630
00:31:05,533 --> 00:31:07,201
Student Housing.
This is Amy.
631
00:31:07,234 --> 00:31:09,269
- Did she just say
"America first"?
- [Amy] Oh, yes, absolutely.
632
00:31:09,303 --> 00:31:11,706
- [softly] She said,
"America first."
- [laughs]
633
00:31:11,740 --> 00:31:13,340
[Amy] Okay... [indistinct]
634
00:31:13,374 --> 00:31:14,441
Huh.
635
00:31:15,008 --> 00:31:17,846
What the hell was I thinking?
Stupid, stupid Darfur.
636
00:31:17,878 --> 00:31:21,850
Yeah, she feels like someone
who would run over protesters
if given the chance.
637
00:31:21,882 --> 00:31:23,551
I can't believe we already
fucked this up.
638
00:31:23,585 --> 00:31:27,187
"We"? [scoffs]
Okay. Maybe it's for the best.
639
00:31:27,221 --> 00:31:28,790
I mean, this is
the dumbest fucking idea
640
00:31:28,823 --> 00:31:30,391
since we both tried
anal bleaching.
641
00:31:30,424 --> 00:31:32,926
Yeah, but if we don't do it,
then we both go to living
642
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,596
on the streets.
643
00:31:34,629 --> 00:31:36,330
- So...
- Okay. Nope. Uh...
644
00:31:36,363 --> 00:31:37,998
My skin won't last a day
in these streets,
645
00:31:38,031 --> 00:31:39,834
so we gotta figure
something out.
646
00:31:39,868 --> 00:31:41,603
[mumbles] I know
all about the skin...
647
00:31:42,436 --> 00:31:43,772
Hold up. Hold up.
648
00:31:43,805 --> 00:31:46,073
Excuse me. Hi. Hi.
649
00:31:46,974 --> 00:31:49,109
[sighs] Can I borrow you
for a sec?
650
00:31:49,811 --> 00:31:54,181
♪
651
00:32:09,163 --> 00:32:12,499
Why? No, no, no, no.
What the fuck?
652
00:32:13,967 --> 00:32:16,136
[sighs heavily] Goddammit.
653
00:32:17,672 --> 00:32:18,640
[huffs air]
654
00:32:20,207 --> 00:32:22,476
So you're the Upper Decker, huh?
655
00:32:24,779 --> 00:32:27,214
I'm Lindsay.
Looks like we're neighbors.
656
00:32:29,617 --> 00:32:32,953
So should I just call you
"Upper" for short or...?
657
00:32:32,986 --> 00:32:35,155
Uh, I-I'm Elliot. Sorry.
658
00:32:36,256 --> 00:32:38,660
Hmm. Joe "Daddy" Stevenson.
659
00:32:38,693 --> 00:32:40,227
Uh, you know MMA?
660
00:32:40,260 --> 00:32:43,363
Hell, yeah. Well, I mean,
I didn't start getting into it
661
00:32:43,397 --> 00:32:45,232
till Rousey started
fighting but...
662
00:32:45,265 --> 00:32:47,635
Oh, that's, that's--
that's dank.
663
00:32:47,669 --> 00:32:50,638
Yeah. [chuckles]
It's super dank.
664
00:32:52,339 --> 00:32:55,476
Uh, well, I will take these
as I see them.
665
00:32:56,009 --> 00:32:58,145
The danglies
are all yours though.
666
00:33:02,983 --> 00:33:05,452
"Dank"? What the fuck, dude?
667
00:33:06,019 --> 00:33:07,655
- [lock beeps]
- [sighs]
668
00:33:08,523 --> 00:33:11,992
["Made For It"
by Unsecret x Olly Anna playing]
669
00:33:24,739 --> 00:33:26,273
[chuckles]
670
00:33:27,742 --> 00:33:30,143
[Paulie chuckles, clicks tongue]
671
00:33:30,177 --> 00:33:32,614
Oh, look, it's the International
Man of Mystery.
672
00:33:32,647 --> 00:33:33,781
Oh, Amy.
673
00:33:34,749 --> 00:33:36,083
You passed.
674
00:33:36,584 --> 00:33:37,484
Passed what?
675
00:33:37,519 --> 00:33:40,087
The test to see
if you are one of us.
676
00:33:40,688 --> 00:33:42,991
Can't be too careful
in a college campus nowadays,
677
00:33:43,023 --> 00:33:45,527
what with the deep state
liberal agenda.
678
00:33:46,928 --> 00:33:49,263
[inhales, groans]
679
00:33:49,964 --> 00:33:51,365
[grunts]
680
00:33:53,668 --> 00:33:55,570
You-- you follow the Q?
681
00:33:55,603 --> 00:33:57,605
[scoffs] Do I follow the...
682
00:33:57,639 --> 00:33:59,841
Is George Soros the head
of a major pedophile ring
683
00:33:59,874 --> 00:34:02,109
being run out of metro area
pizza places?
684
00:34:03,443 --> 00:34:05,379
I know you said housing
was full to the brim,
685
00:34:05,412 --> 00:34:08,983
but I think you and I both know
it's up to people like us
686
00:34:09,017 --> 00:34:12,620
to make the silent majority
not so silent!
687
00:34:14,756 --> 00:34:16,423
[softly] In places like this.
688
00:34:16,991 --> 00:34:18,660
And my girl Molly Sutter,
689
00:34:18,693 --> 00:34:22,462
she's down for the cause too.
She is. So...
690
00:34:24,331 --> 00:34:27,602
if you can find it
in your heart,
691
00:34:29,202 --> 00:34:31,706
maybe even consider it
your patriotic duty,
692
00:34:31,739 --> 00:34:33,240
to put a roof over our heads.
693
00:34:33,273 --> 00:34:35,208
["Bounce It"
by Flyana Boss playing]
694
00:34:35,242 --> 00:34:36,644
[Paulie] What do you say?
695
00:34:43,518 --> 00:34:44,552
What are we doing?
696
00:34:48,388 --> 00:34:50,324
Oh, yeah, you dirty
little snowflake.
697
00:34:50,357 --> 00:34:53,528
I'm gonna assimilate you
like a docile minority
population.
698
00:34:53,561 --> 00:34:57,130
Uh, uh... assimilate me,
you filthy little whore.
699
00:34:57,164 --> 00:34:59,433
Hey, don't be a misogynist.
700
00:34:59,466 --> 00:35:01,368
Oh, that's where
you draw the line?
701
00:35:03,370 --> 00:35:06,440
- I talk, you fuck.
- [grunts]
702
00:35:07,909 --> 00:35:09,176
Mm-hmm. Yup.
703
00:35:11,211 --> 00:35:12,446
[Paulie groans softly]
704
00:35:12,479 --> 00:35:14,181
So are we doing this or what?
705
00:35:14,214 --> 00:35:16,350
Yeah, just getting it queued up.
706
00:35:16,383 --> 00:35:18,519
- [slight chuckle]
- Yup. [chuckles]
707
00:35:18,553 --> 00:35:19,887
Yeah, okay.
708
00:35:19,921 --> 00:35:21,856
[nervous chuckle, breathes in]
709
00:35:21,889 --> 00:35:25,325
Oh, Michael B. Jordan.
Michael B. Jordan.
Michael B. Jordan.
710
00:35:25,359 --> 00:35:26,360
Oh, God.
711
00:35:26,393 --> 00:35:28,228
Molly, I could fucking kill you.
712
00:35:28,261 --> 00:35:30,798
- [Amy chuckles] You like that?
- [groans]
713
00:35:30,832 --> 00:35:31,866
Don Lemon!
714
00:35:40,608 --> 00:35:43,176
This place isn't
officially affiliated
with the university,
715
00:35:43,210 --> 00:35:46,146
but they do offer
student discounts on rent, so...
716
00:35:46,781 --> 00:35:49,216
Amy, your country thanks you.
717
00:35:49,249 --> 00:35:52,687
Come back to be fucked
by a real American
patriot any day,
718
00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:54,656
you commie Antifa bitch.
719
00:35:54,689 --> 00:35:56,824
No, not if I...
720
00:35:57,959 --> 00:35:59,527
storm their capitol first.
721
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:00,828
[sighs]
722
00:36:02,664 --> 00:36:03,698
Oh, dear God.
723
00:36:07,101 --> 00:36:08,468
[sighs]
724
00:36:19,446 --> 00:36:21,649
♪
725
00:36:22,717 --> 00:36:25,653
Okay, yeah. Just talk
to her. Just go in.
726
00:36:26,219 --> 00:36:27,689
Hey. Hey, how are you?
727
00:36:28,923 --> 00:36:33,027
I didn't see you there.
Uh, maybe you wanted
to go on a walk?
728
00:36:33,061 --> 00:36:36,396
Okay, maybe you wanna go
on a n-nature hike
alone with me?
729
00:36:36,430 --> 00:36:39,033
[stammers] What am I?
Yogi fucking Bear?
730
00:36:39,067 --> 00:36:41,268
I-I like-- I like MMA.
I like fighting.
731
00:36:41,301 --> 00:36:42,670
I mean, I know you do too.
732
00:36:42,704 --> 00:36:45,707
Maybe, why don't we just, like,
spar or something?
733
00:36:45,740 --> 00:36:47,008
No, what? Spar.
734
00:36:47,041 --> 00:36:48,810
[sighs]
735
00:36:49,844 --> 00:36:52,914
Just do it. Alright.
One, two, three. Okay.
736
00:36:55,783 --> 00:36:58,553
Hey, I was in the neighborhood
and I just wanted to see...
737
00:36:58,586 --> 00:37:00,655
Oh! Uh, uh...
738
00:37:00,688 --> 00:37:02,056
What the fuck, Chach!
739
00:37:02,090 --> 00:37:04,525
Get the fuck
outta here, bro!
740
00:37:04,559 --> 00:37:06,226
- Aah!
- Get the fuck outta here!
741
00:37:06,259 --> 00:37:08,663
Yup. [breathing heavily]
742
00:37:08,696 --> 00:37:11,132
Always... always knock,
knock, knock.
743
00:37:11,165 --> 00:37:12,399
Fucking idiot.
744
00:37:15,970 --> 00:37:18,873
- [bell dings]
- [crows cawing]
745
00:37:21,542 --> 00:37:23,310
- [Molly] Huh.
- [Paulie] Is this it?
746
00:37:25,245 --> 00:37:26,848
Yeah, this is it.
747
00:37:26,881 --> 00:37:30,051
- [saw whirring]
- [heavy metal music playing]
748
00:37:30,084 --> 00:37:32,352
I think I'm good
sleeping in your car.
749
00:37:38,391 --> 00:37:40,928
[man] Ow! Ow! Fuck!
750
00:37:41,394 --> 00:37:44,999
Mother fuck! Mother fuck!
751
00:37:45,032 --> 00:37:46,834
[exhales loudly]
752
00:37:46,868 --> 00:37:48,903
Is that Scott Perkins?
753
00:37:48,936 --> 00:37:50,972
- I think it is.
- [huffs air]
754
00:37:51,005 --> 00:37:53,241
Didn't he set fire
to the art building
senior year?
755
00:37:53,273 --> 00:37:54,474
For sure.
756
00:37:54,509 --> 00:37:57,845
- Okay.
- Oh, Can't Sing Singer.
757
00:37:57,879 --> 00:37:59,346
- Scotty.
- Paulie.
758
00:37:59,379 --> 00:38:01,481
- Yeah.
- No freaking way.
759
00:38:01,516 --> 00:38:03,818
- Yeah.
- I haven't seen
you guys in years.
760
00:38:03,851 --> 00:38:05,186
- [laughs]
- Yeah!
761
00:38:05,219 --> 00:38:06,621
- Yeah.
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
762
00:38:06,654 --> 00:38:09,157
- It's good to see you. Yes.
- [laughs]
763
00:38:09,190 --> 00:38:10,457
- Yeah.
- Uh...
764
00:38:10,490 --> 00:38:12,126
Wow. So you work here?
765
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:13,628
Oh, I don't fucking
work here.
766
00:38:13,661 --> 00:38:16,230
I own the whole
freaking building.
767
00:38:16,264 --> 00:38:17,430
- Whoa.
- Oh, wow.
768
00:38:17,464 --> 00:38:20,467
Yeah, I just, uh,
couldn't leave,
769
00:38:20,500 --> 00:38:22,737
- you know, like,
after graduation.
- [Molly] Mm.
770
00:38:22,770 --> 00:38:23,938
Like who does that?
771
00:38:23,971 --> 00:38:25,506
- Everybody.
Everybody does that.
- Yeah, well...
772
00:38:25,540 --> 00:38:27,074
- We did it.
- So I was doing my art
773
00:38:27,108 --> 00:38:28,876
and like sort of
squatting here,
774
00:38:28,910 --> 00:38:30,745
and then my grandpa died.
775
00:38:30,778 --> 00:38:33,047
- Oh, my God. Hmm.
- Yeah. Yeah.
776
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,516
No, it's okay.
He was an asshole.
777
00:38:35,550 --> 00:38:37,618
- Hmm.
- But like a really
rich asshole.
778
00:38:37,652 --> 00:38:39,921
- Mm-mmm.
- Which is how I got this place.
779
00:38:39,954 --> 00:38:41,189
[both laugh]
780
00:38:41,222 --> 00:38:42,623
And how's that
working for you?
781
00:38:42,657 --> 00:38:46,294
Oh, fucking terrible, man.
Really bad. Um...
782
00:38:46,928 --> 00:38:49,730
Like the first day
I got the keys,
there was a black mold scare.
783
00:38:49,764 --> 00:38:52,133
- Oh.
- And then there was
the incident
784
00:38:52,166 --> 00:38:54,367
where a student
may or may not...
785
00:38:55,236 --> 00:38:58,338
have died after sliding
down the pole.
786
00:38:59,207 --> 00:39:00,174
"Pole"?
787
00:39:00,208 --> 00:39:01,776
♪
788
00:39:03,845 --> 00:39:04,812
[gasps]
789
00:39:06,047 --> 00:39:10,618
Holy mother of fuck pads!
790
00:39:10,651 --> 00:39:12,720
Oh, my God, air hockey!
791
00:39:12,753 --> 00:39:14,088
[chuckles] Ha!
792
00:39:16,591 --> 00:39:18,059
Oh, my God, the pole.
793
00:39:18,092 --> 00:39:20,460
- [Scott] Yeah, be careful.
- The pole. That's what just--
794
00:39:20,493 --> 00:39:22,763
The pole! [growls]
795
00:39:22,797 --> 00:39:24,765
- [Molly] Get it! Yes.
- [Scott] Yeah.
796
00:39:24,799 --> 00:39:26,667
- RIP, ladies.
- [Molly] Uh-huh.
797
00:39:26,701 --> 00:39:28,435
Got a little arcade action.
798
00:39:28,468 --> 00:39:30,204
Alright. Okay. Okay.
799
00:39:30,238 --> 00:39:32,206
- [Molly] Wow.
- Bowling bowl.
800
00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:33,741
- [Molly] Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, Grandpa's.
801
00:39:33,774 --> 00:39:36,944
- [Paulie] Ah! [indistinct]
- Scott, this is perfect.
802
00:39:36,978 --> 00:39:40,447
So, uh, how many months
are we talking about?
803
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,683
Because I'm really behind
on my payments.
804
00:39:42,717 --> 00:39:44,719
I was supposed to have
a sorority sign a lease here,
805
00:39:44,752 --> 00:39:48,022
but they pussied out
when they heard that somebody
may or may not have died here.
806
00:39:48,055 --> 00:39:50,758
Oh, Scott. I get
that someone died here.
You don't need to be vague.
807
00:39:50,791 --> 00:39:51,859
Allegedly.
808
00:39:52,627 --> 00:39:55,329
So you're telling me
no one's even had sex
in this hot tub?
809
00:39:55,363 --> 00:39:57,198
Unfortunately,
not a single sperm
810
00:39:57,231 --> 00:39:58,933
has entered
that chlorinated water.
811
00:39:58,966 --> 00:40:01,936
Okay, so, um, how far behind
on payments are you
812
00:40:01,969 --> 00:40:04,238
before the bank
initiates foreclosure?
813
00:40:04,272 --> 00:40:07,608
Uh, 20 grand-ish.
814
00:40:08,342 --> 00:40:09,510
Okay.
815
00:40:10,410 --> 00:40:11,779
Yeah. Um...
816
00:40:12,412 --> 00:40:13,881
I think we can help you out.
817
00:40:13,915 --> 00:40:16,250
- Great. Just don't
put it in my name.
- [Paulie sighs]
818
00:40:16,284 --> 00:40:17,450
Hmm.
819
00:40:22,156 --> 00:40:26,459
[Bob on video] ...Elliot Steinerhas single-handedlywrecked the MVP run
820
00:40:26,493 --> 00:40:28,529
of potential first-rounddraft pick...
821
00:40:28,562 --> 00:40:31,165
Elliot Steinerhas single-handedly...
822
00:40:31,198 --> 00:40:33,768
[indistinct chatter]
823
00:40:37,638 --> 00:40:39,540
♪
824
00:40:43,511 --> 00:40:46,113
- What are you doing?
- Trying not to blow our cover.
825
00:40:46,147 --> 00:40:47,715
With a newspaper? No.
826
00:40:47,748 --> 00:40:50,318
Most of these kids
don't even know what that is.
827
00:40:50,351 --> 00:40:52,753
Just put it down.
Act cool.
828
00:40:52,787 --> 00:40:55,189
Get your phone.
Just relax.
829
00:40:59,193 --> 00:41:00,460
The Upper Decker kid.
830
00:41:00,493 --> 00:41:04,131
- [shushing]
- [chair scraping the floor]
831
00:41:05,533 --> 00:41:07,568
Okay. That's the guy
who took out
832
00:41:07,601 --> 00:41:09,003
- Demetrius Moss.
- Yes.
833
00:41:09,036 --> 00:41:10,438
He'll be lucky if he gets out
of this semester alive.
834
00:41:10,470 --> 00:41:12,606
Okay, we do not have
until the semester ends.
835
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:16,010
We have until Homecoming
to get this kid
from zero to hero.
836
00:41:16,544 --> 00:41:17,845
Did you just quote
Cool as Ice ?
837
00:41:17,878 --> 00:41:19,780
Hmm. Paraphrased,
but, yes.
838
00:41:19,814 --> 00:41:22,883
- Well, how do you suppose
we do that?
- [smacks lips] With...
839
00:41:24,085 --> 00:41:25,052
this.
840
00:41:25,086 --> 00:41:26,120
[phone alert tone]
841
00:41:26,153 --> 00:41:27,621
- Oh, my God.
- [laughs]
842
00:41:27,655 --> 00:41:30,124
- Holy shit. Is that Demetrius?
- It is. Yeah.
843
00:41:31,058 --> 00:41:32,492
- Is he?
- He is.
844
00:41:32,526 --> 00:41:34,729
- How, dude?
- Well, in-house investigator.
845
00:41:34,762 --> 00:41:37,198
Dude could dig up dirt on Jesus
if we asked him to.
846
00:41:37,231 --> 00:41:38,599
- [sighs, mumbles]
- Mm.
847
00:41:40,201 --> 00:41:41,569
- Oh.
- [sighs]
848
00:41:48,476 --> 00:41:50,044
Uh-oh.
849
00:41:51,112 --> 00:41:52,213
Who's the girl?
850
00:41:57,918 --> 00:41:59,253
Okay.
851
00:42:08,729 --> 00:42:10,831
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
- He's coming this way.
852
00:42:10,865 --> 00:42:13,000
- He's coming this way!
- Yeah. Yep, yep,
yep, yep. Okay.
853
00:42:13,034 --> 00:42:14,235
Just, uh...
854
00:42:15,436 --> 00:42:18,706
- [student] Whoa.
- [indistinct chatter]
855
00:42:19,740 --> 00:42:21,375
Oh, uh, hey. Wait,
wait, wait, wait.
856
00:42:21,409 --> 00:42:24,745
Hey, hey. Excuse me!
Excuse me! Hi.
857
00:42:24,779 --> 00:42:27,181
- Sorry, you forgot your book.
- Oh, uh, thanks.
858
00:42:27,214 --> 00:42:28,816
Benazir Bhutto: A Biography.
859
00:42:28,849 --> 00:42:30,618
Yeah, the world's first
female Muslim prime minister.
860
00:42:30,651 --> 00:42:32,787
- Yeah, she's great.
- You must be...
861
00:42:32,820 --> 00:42:35,056
what, like a poli-sci
major or something?
862
00:42:35,089 --> 00:42:36,390
I'm undeclared actually.
863
00:42:36,424 --> 00:42:38,959
- Oh, me too.
- Same. Same, same.
864
00:42:38,993 --> 00:42:41,896
- Yeah. This is Paulie
and I'm Molly.
- Yup, yup, yup. [clicks tongue]
865
00:42:42,630 --> 00:42:45,232
- Uh...
- And you are?
866
00:42:45,266 --> 00:42:46,901
Elliot. Elliot Steiner.
867
00:42:46,934 --> 00:42:49,703
- Cool.
- [laughs] Steiner.
I hardly know her.
868
00:42:49,737 --> 00:42:51,405
[Molly chuckles]
Okay, well, um,
869
00:42:51,439 --> 00:42:53,808
we're actually thinking
about going to Stillwaters
in like an hour.
870
00:42:53,841 --> 00:42:56,143
- Would you--
You should come with us.
- Oh, yeah.
871
00:42:56,877 --> 00:42:59,548
- You think I'm an idiot?
- What?
872
00:43:00,014 --> 00:43:03,317
Excuse me. Hi. Hello.
No. No, no, no. No. What?
873
00:43:03,350 --> 00:43:07,254
Some old dude and,
and a random lady
just happen to run into me
874
00:43:07,288 --> 00:43:08,689
right after I become a meme.
875
00:43:08,722 --> 00:43:10,124
Whatever you have planned,
I'm not falling for it.
876
00:43:10,157 --> 00:43:13,027
Look, okay, yes.
We... we do know who you are.
877
00:43:13,060 --> 00:43:14,662
But this isn't a trap
or anything like that.
878
00:43:14,695 --> 00:43:16,897
- No, no.
- It's just we know
our way around here.
879
00:43:16,931 --> 00:43:18,567
- Yes.
- And, and we've all got a past
880
00:43:18,599 --> 00:43:19,800
- that we wished
we could forget.
- Ugh.
881
00:43:19,834 --> 00:43:21,936
Paulie here got so drunk
freshman year...
882
00:43:21,969 --> 00:43:24,004
- Oh!
- ...that he passed out
in McConnell Hall
883
00:43:24,038 --> 00:43:25,806
and shit his pants
in his sleep.
884
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:27,942
- Remember that?
- Yeah, that was you.
885
00:43:27,975 --> 00:43:29,977
- That was you.
- Details. Anyway the point is,
886
00:43:30,010 --> 00:43:33,013
we all deserve a second chance
at a first impression.
887
00:43:34,014 --> 00:43:36,250
I mean, I-I don't--
I don't even drink, so...
888
00:43:36,283 --> 00:43:41,188
Or, you know, we could,
um, convince the girl
to come with us.
889
00:43:41,222 --> 00:43:43,257
- Oh, yeah.
- What girl?
890
00:43:43,290 --> 00:43:46,660
The girl. The girl you're
making googly eyes at
while you were eating.
891
00:43:46,694 --> 00:43:47,928
[Paulie] Yeah.
892
00:43:48,429 --> 00:43:50,097
[Molly] Steiner? Hello?
893
00:43:50,731 --> 00:43:51,999
- Okay.
- Okay.
894
00:43:52,534 --> 00:43:54,835
Uh, I don't have any plans.
895
00:43:56,337 --> 00:43:59,508
- No plans. There you go.
- That's great. Okay, cool.
896
00:43:59,541 --> 00:44:03,811
Okay, so I think
we have one thing to do
before we go and that is...
897
00:44:03,844 --> 00:44:06,847
- Shave his balls.
- Pretty Woman montage.
898
00:44:06,881 --> 00:44:09,717
- Pretty Woman montage.
- It's gonna be fun.
899
00:44:11,553 --> 00:44:13,754
["Let's Get It"
by DEVMO playing]
900
00:44:27,067 --> 00:44:29,136
[Molly] It's a little
cowboy for me.
901
00:44:29,170 --> 00:44:32,439
It's like a Brokeback chic,
but not so chic.
902
00:44:32,473 --> 00:44:35,309
- [Molly] Oh, my God!
- [Paulie] Yeah!
903
00:44:35,342 --> 00:44:36,343
Next.
904
00:44:37,612 --> 00:44:39,013
[Paulie] Yeah!
905
00:44:39,046 --> 00:44:42,183
No. He looks like a K-Pop video
just took a shit on him.
906
00:44:43,117 --> 00:44:44,151
In a good way.
907
00:44:49,790 --> 00:44:52,059
[Molly and Paulie groaning]
908
00:44:52,092 --> 00:44:54,563
Ma'am, I think
you should just get rid
of that outfit altogether.
909
00:44:54,596 --> 00:44:55,963
It needs to not be
in the store.
910
00:44:55,996 --> 00:44:58,799
- The power of Christ
compels you.
- Yes, awful.
911
00:45:08,008 --> 00:45:10,411
- [thuds]
- [Molly gasps]
912
00:45:10,444 --> 00:45:11,646
Yeah!
913
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,448
- Wow, I love this one.
- Yeah.
914
00:45:14,481 --> 00:45:15,749
Done and done.
915
00:45:15,783 --> 00:45:17,451
You know what I'm saying?
You look great.
916
00:45:17,484 --> 00:45:20,221
["The Touch"
by Welshly Arms playing]
917
00:45:23,757 --> 00:45:26,894
[indistinct chatter]
918
00:45:30,798 --> 00:45:33,067
- [indistinct chatter]
- [laughter]
919
00:45:33,834 --> 00:45:35,836
Alright. Here you go.
920
00:45:38,105 --> 00:45:40,808
Sure Baby Face Nelson
there is 21?
921
00:45:41,710 --> 00:45:42,943
Absolutely.
922
00:45:42,977 --> 00:45:45,212
You've seen us
in here before.
923
00:45:47,848 --> 00:45:50,818
A hundred times.
924
00:45:51,586 --> 00:45:53,622
Oh, right, Ben, was it?
925
00:45:53,655 --> 00:45:55,889
- God, great to see you.
- [Molly laughs]
926
00:45:55,923 --> 00:45:57,825
- Cheers, you guys.
- [Molly] Yeah.
927
00:45:58,759 --> 00:46:00,294
Mr. Franklin.
928
00:46:02,129 --> 00:46:03,197
Here you are.
929
00:46:03,230 --> 00:46:04,999
So do you guys bring
930
00:46:05,533 --> 00:46:07,702
underaged boys here often?
931
00:46:07,736 --> 00:46:09,470
[chuckles]
932
00:46:09,504 --> 00:46:12,607
Look, that is
the least illegal thing
going on around here.
933
00:46:12,641 --> 00:46:15,610
Stillwaters is owned
by the Dabrowski family.
934
00:46:15,644 --> 00:46:17,444
You mean the mob guys?
935
00:46:17,478 --> 00:46:18,812
Polish mob.
936
00:46:18,846 --> 00:46:21,115
Why do you think
they have 1997 prices?
937
00:46:21,148 --> 00:46:24,184
It's all a front
to launder money.
Anything goes.
938
00:46:24,218 --> 00:46:27,855
"You will never find
a more wretched hive
of scum and villainy."
939
00:46:27,888 --> 00:46:30,558
So, uh, when's Lindsay
getting here?
940
00:46:31,258 --> 00:46:32,226
Who?
941
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:34,261
Oh, the girl.
942
00:46:34,295 --> 00:46:35,963
- [Paulie] Oh, uh...
- Yes. Lindsay's not coming.
943
00:46:36,830 --> 00:46:40,669
Well, it would have been
super weird of us to just go up
to an underage stranger
944
00:46:40,702 --> 00:46:42,671
and ask them to a bar. [laughs]
945
00:46:42,704 --> 00:46:45,372
That's exactly
what you guys did...
946
00:46:46,508 --> 00:46:48,677
- Whoa.
- [Paulie] What is
fucking happening?
947
00:46:48,710 --> 00:46:50,010
[Molly] I'm not sure.
948
00:46:52,112 --> 00:46:54,848
- Is he powering down?
What's going on?
- Yo, Punxsutawney Phil,
949
00:46:54,882 --> 00:46:56,150
- get back up here, please.
- [Paulie] Yeah.
950
00:46:56,618 --> 00:46:59,621
- [Demetrius] Upper Decker!
- [indistinct chatter]
951
00:46:59,654 --> 00:47:03,257
- [Molly clears throat]
- Showing your face in my bar.
952
00:47:03,290 --> 00:47:04,526
[Demetrius laughs]
953
00:47:05,392 --> 00:47:06,827
Everything okay, fellas?
954
00:47:06,860 --> 00:47:08,563
Yeah, it's cool.
955
00:47:08,596 --> 00:47:11,165
Just a little, uh,
crowded in here.
956
00:47:11,198 --> 00:47:13,735
About one freshman asshole
over capacity.
957
00:47:13,768 --> 00:47:15,969
[indistinct chattering]
958
00:47:22,577 --> 00:47:25,312
- [sighs] Do your thing, Mol.
- [Molly] You know,
959
00:47:25,346 --> 00:47:27,549
I'd love to speak with you
in private for a second.
960
00:47:27,582 --> 00:47:29,283
- Huge fan.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
961
00:47:29,316 --> 00:47:31,318
Pretty sure you gonna
be alone with me
for more than a second though.
962
00:47:31,352 --> 00:47:33,621
Yeah, yeah,
I don't doubt that. [laughs]
963
00:47:33,655 --> 00:47:36,357
Hey, if he tries to run,
sit on him.
964
00:47:38,359 --> 00:47:39,493
[mouthing]
965
00:47:44,264 --> 00:47:45,399
[chuckles]
966
00:47:46,835 --> 00:47:48,068
[nervous chuckle]
967
00:47:50,605 --> 00:47:52,272
You like IPAs?
968
00:48:01,448 --> 00:48:04,251
Wow. That's just rude.
969
00:48:05,787 --> 00:48:10,023
[indistinct]
970
00:48:13,293 --> 00:48:15,764
- [student belches]
- Awesome.
971
00:48:15,797 --> 00:48:17,064
[indistinct]
972
00:48:17,998 --> 00:48:20,735
Everyone! Hello.
Please listen up.
973
00:48:20,769 --> 00:48:23,337
Uh, Demetrius here
has an announcement.
974
00:48:24,304 --> 00:48:26,340
Alright. So, uh,
everyone, uh,
975
00:48:26,373 --> 00:48:30,911
I would like to speak
on the events
that have occurred and, um...
976
00:48:31,579 --> 00:48:36,350
Man, fuck this. Alright,
the shit that happened last week
wasn't your fault.
977
00:48:36,383 --> 00:48:38,520
[crowd groaning]
978
00:48:38,553 --> 00:48:40,688
Yeah, I think
if I'm hearing this correctly,
979
00:48:40,722 --> 00:48:43,257
Demetrius is going
on the record to say
980
00:48:43,290 --> 00:48:46,761
that his broken ankle
isn't Elliott Steiner's
fault. [stammers]
981
00:48:46,795 --> 00:48:48,495
Am I right about that,
Demetrius?
982
00:48:48,530 --> 00:48:50,130
- Correct.
- [student] Whose fault is it?
983
00:48:50,164 --> 00:48:52,299
Barnett University
and its failure to create
984
00:48:52,332 --> 00:48:55,770
distinctive riding
and walking paths on campus.
985
00:48:55,804 --> 00:48:59,406
And Demetrius here
will be suing the university
for upwards of, um...
986
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:00,642
Twenty million dollars.
987
00:49:00,675 --> 00:49:02,476
[crowd] Whoa!
988
00:49:02,510 --> 00:49:04,712
Uh, yeah, sure.
Shoot for the moon.
989
00:49:04,746 --> 00:49:07,214
So, uh, we good,
little man.
990
00:49:08,081 --> 00:49:10,819
Hey, yo.
I'm gonna be rich, bitches!
991
00:49:10,852 --> 00:49:12,085
Shots on me.
992
00:49:12,119 --> 00:49:14,488
- Whoo!
- [crowd cheering]
993
00:49:16,156 --> 00:49:21,529
[crowd chanting]
Shot! Shot! Shot!
994
00:49:25,098 --> 00:49:28,736
[chanting continues]
995
00:49:36,511 --> 00:49:38,713
♪
996
00:49:42,382 --> 00:49:44,686
[groaning]
997
00:49:50,525 --> 00:49:51,559
[sighs]
998
00:50:00,535 --> 00:50:02,069
[Paulie]
So I just move that there.
999
00:50:02,102 --> 00:50:04,171
Oh, no, no, no, no,
that's cheating.
1000
00:50:04,204 --> 00:50:05,673
No, it's not. Why can't
I go up the slide?
1001
00:50:05,707 --> 00:50:07,742
You cannot climb the slide.
That's not how it works.
1002
00:50:07,775 --> 00:50:10,410
You climb the ladder
and then you go down the slide.
1003
00:50:10,444 --> 00:50:12,412
- That's how-- Okay, my turn.
- But you keep-- Oh, fine.
1004
00:50:14,616 --> 00:50:16,116
- Three. Ha-ha.
- Okay.
1005
00:50:16,149 --> 00:50:18,786
Three. One, two, three.
1006
00:50:18,820 --> 00:50:20,020
Oh, see? Ladder.
1007
00:50:20,053 --> 00:50:21,789
- Climb.
- [phone buzzing]
1008
00:50:24,224 --> 00:50:25,793
- [buzzing stops]
- [clears throat]
1009
00:50:25,827 --> 00:50:27,695
Van Singer, party liaison.
1010
00:50:27,729 --> 00:50:29,363
Are you fucking kidding me?
1011
00:50:29,396 --> 00:50:31,131
Uh... [chuckles]
1012
00:50:31,164 --> 00:50:33,233
I am paying you to help my son
get adjusted to college,
1013
00:50:33,267 --> 00:50:35,035
not ruin his goddamn life.
1014
00:50:35,068 --> 00:50:36,303
I'm not sure
what you're talking about
1015
00:50:36,336 --> 00:50:37,872
because I've been here
for two days.
1016
00:50:37,906 --> 00:50:40,173
The Demetrius Moss situation
is fixed.
1017
00:50:40,207 --> 00:50:42,376
We are taking him
to a rush event
later today and...
1018
00:50:42,409 --> 00:50:46,280
minimized the MMA-themedwardrobe by at least 35%.
1019
00:50:47,481 --> 00:50:49,651
Tell me you're
a freshman in college
1020
00:50:49,684 --> 00:50:52,754
without telling me you're
a freshman in college.
I'll go first.
1021
00:50:52,787 --> 00:50:54,756
[crowd cheering]
1022
00:51:00,127 --> 00:51:01,963
[clears throat] Okay, I can see
1023
00:51:01,996 --> 00:51:03,731
- by the looks of this video--
- [phone dings]
1024
00:51:03,765 --> 00:51:05,198
[crowd cheering]
1025
00:51:05,232 --> 00:51:07,067
I don't even feel it! I don't--
1026
00:51:07,100 --> 00:51:09,771
- I don't even feel it!
- Oh, my God!
1027
00:51:09,804 --> 00:51:11,573
And that video as well,
1028
00:51:11,606 --> 00:51:14,776
it may appear that
I'm not in control here,
but I can assure you--
1029
00:51:14,809 --> 00:51:17,210
I should have known
this was gonna be
a fucking shit show.
1030
00:51:17,244 --> 00:51:20,180
You know what?
Just forget it.
1031
00:51:20,213 --> 00:51:22,817
Forget the whole thing.
Forget your job. You're done.
1032
00:51:22,850 --> 00:51:24,217
[sighs heavily]
1033
00:51:24,886 --> 00:51:26,521
In one day, I've taken your kid
1034
00:51:26,554 --> 00:51:29,256
from wanting to run home
with his tail tucked
between his chinos
1035
00:51:29,289 --> 00:51:31,425
to wanting to get
the fucking Badger fight song
1036
00:51:31,458 --> 00:51:33,628
tattooed on his forehead
Post Malone style.
1037
00:51:33,661 --> 00:51:36,496
What do you thinkis gonna happenif I ghost him now?
1038
00:51:37,799 --> 00:51:39,199
Let me get him through rush.
1039
00:51:39,232 --> 00:51:41,703
And I promise you,the freshman tradition
1040
00:51:41,736 --> 00:51:43,071
of buying Christmas presents
1041
00:51:43,103 --> 00:51:44,806
entirely fromthe university bookstore
1042
00:51:44,839 --> 00:51:46,608
will be well intact.
1043
00:51:46,641 --> 00:51:48,275
[sighs]
1044
00:51:48,308 --> 00:51:50,912
Okay, keep him off the Tok.
1045
00:51:50,945 --> 00:51:53,480
And if you ruin his chancesof a future Senate race,
1046
00:51:53,514 --> 00:51:55,049
I swear to GodI will eat you alive
1047
00:51:55,083 --> 00:51:57,184
and bury you
in the goddamn desert.
1048
00:51:58,886 --> 00:52:00,120
Thanks so much.
1049
00:52:01,522 --> 00:52:02,557
[exhales]
1050
00:52:05,125 --> 00:52:07,160
- Everything good?
- Yeah.
1051
00:52:07,962 --> 00:52:09,797
- Refill?
- Yes, please.
1052
00:52:11,532 --> 00:52:14,669
- I saw you cheat, by the way.
- No, I didn't.
1053
00:52:18,006 --> 00:52:21,643
So officially,
we are absolutely not able
to haze you little bitches
1054
00:52:21,676 --> 00:52:23,210
in any way shape or form.
1055
00:52:23,243 --> 00:52:24,779
But unofficially,
you little douche canoes
1056
00:52:24,812 --> 00:52:26,514
better get ready for the suck.
1057
00:52:27,214 --> 00:52:29,383
We're gonna have
to suck your, like...
1058
00:52:30,217 --> 00:52:31,919
[stammers] What? No.
1059
00:52:32,452 --> 00:52:35,089
The suck.
Like from Jarhead.
1060
00:52:35,690 --> 00:52:38,826
- [pledge] Uh...
- Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
1061
00:52:38,860 --> 00:52:41,562
Why don't you guys just go play
some cornhole or something.
1062
00:52:44,666 --> 00:52:47,935
I just don't think
I'm really frat material.
1063
00:52:47,969 --> 00:52:50,838
Oh, you're not a fan
of relay races
with marshmallows up your butt?
1064
00:52:50,872 --> 00:52:52,974
No, no, not at all.
1065
00:52:53,007 --> 00:52:57,945
Uh, well, you know,
there's a whole brotherhood
hoorah thing.
1066
00:52:57,979 --> 00:52:59,479
Formals are fun.
1067
00:52:59,514 --> 00:53:03,651
And there are certain
other advantages.
1068
00:53:05,318 --> 00:53:06,821
Ooh, not ready yet.
1069
00:53:06,854 --> 00:53:08,656
Yeah. Two more semesters.
1070
00:53:09,389 --> 00:53:11,626
Three, if your parents
are religious.
1071
00:53:11,659 --> 00:53:13,460
- What?
- Hm?
1072
00:53:13,493 --> 00:53:16,931
Nothing. Nothing. Just that,
enjoy the party. [laughs]
1073
00:53:17,932 --> 00:53:19,767
Remind me to check
Grindr later.
1074
00:53:21,636 --> 00:53:23,104
Oh, hey!
1075
00:53:23,137 --> 00:53:24,304
Oh, hey, Elliot.
1076
00:53:24,337 --> 00:53:26,074
Steiner, how you holding up?
1077
00:53:26,107 --> 00:53:27,274
Uh...
1078
00:53:27,307 --> 00:53:28,976
Wait, you all know each other?
1079
00:53:29,010 --> 00:53:30,111
Oh, yeah. We met Elliot
1080
00:53:30,144 --> 00:53:32,113
at Stillwaters last night.
[chuckles]
1081
00:53:32,146 --> 00:53:33,346
Stillwaters.
1082
00:53:33,380 --> 00:53:34,982
- Yeah.
- Wow, how'd you get in there?
1083
00:53:35,016 --> 00:53:36,718
- I...
- Oh, he just walked right in
1084
00:53:36,751 --> 00:53:39,419
like he owned the place.
They didn't even question him.
1085
00:53:39,453 --> 00:53:41,221
Mm. Cool. [chuckles]
1086
00:53:41,254 --> 00:53:43,323
- [Molly] Very cool. Very cool.
- [clears throat]
1087
00:53:43,356 --> 00:53:45,459
- [Molly] Um, okay.
- Um...
1088
00:53:45,492 --> 00:53:48,763
Uh, should we get some refills?
We'll surprise you guys.
1089
00:53:48,796 --> 00:53:52,265
- Refills for us. Paulie.
- We'll be back.
1090
00:53:52,299 --> 00:53:55,235
- Guys.
- So...
1091
00:53:57,839 --> 00:53:58,973
So...
1092
00:53:59,473 --> 00:54:03,410
Hey, um, I'm really sorry
about Stu the other day.
1093
00:54:03,443 --> 00:54:05,445
I just started dating him.
1094
00:54:05,479 --> 00:54:09,050
He's sweet,
but can be a little
intense sometimes.
1095
00:54:09,083 --> 00:54:10,718
No, I'm-- I'm sorry.
I should have knocked.
1096
00:54:10,752 --> 00:54:13,688
I didn't see anything,
so don't-- don't worry.
1097
00:54:14,222 --> 00:54:16,958
You didn't accidentally
sneak a peek?
1098
00:54:16,991 --> 00:54:19,326
God, no, no, no,
I wouldn't do that.
1099
00:54:19,359 --> 00:54:23,030
I, I-- No, I meant--
I meant they're great.
1100
00:54:23,064 --> 00:54:24,364
You're-- you're great.
1101
00:54:24,397 --> 00:54:25,833
You're-- you're pretty.
1102
00:54:27,702 --> 00:54:29,003
- [exhales]
- [plastic cup clatters]
1103
00:54:29,036 --> 00:54:30,337
Good crop this year.
1104
00:54:31,139 --> 00:54:33,440
With a few fucking weeds.
1105
00:54:33,473 --> 00:54:36,043
What are you doin' here,
perving Peeping Tom next door?
1106
00:54:36,077 --> 00:54:37,678
Oh, wait. Babe, be cool.
This is Elliot.
1107
00:54:37,712 --> 00:54:41,115
He was just coming by
to apologize
for walking in on us.
1108
00:54:41,149 --> 00:54:43,050
Dude, I'm--
I'm so sorry. I--
1109
00:54:43,084 --> 00:54:44,484
It was a mistake.
I-I didn't mean...
1110
00:54:44,519 --> 00:54:46,521
Dude, don't even fucking
worry about it, bro.
1111
00:54:46,554 --> 00:54:49,056
You ain't the first chode
to hallway jerk it to me
and my girl getting it on.
1112
00:54:49,090 --> 00:54:51,859
- You won't be the last.
- "Hallway jerk"?
I didn't jerk. I don't--
1113
00:54:51,893 --> 00:54:54,162
- Say, you like Jaeger?
- Uh, yeah, I guess.
1114
00:54:54,195 --> 00:54:56,697
- Who doesn't? Let's get some.
- Okay.
1115
00:54:56,731 --> 00:54:58,900
- I'll introduce you
to the brothers.
- Oh, great.
1116
00:55:02,003 --> 00:55:04,404
["Game Set Match"
by Sara Jackson-Holman playing]
1117
00:55:04,437 --> 00:55:05,973
[indistinct chatter]
1118
00:55:08,042 --> 00:55:09,811
Time to get a drink, man.
1119
00:55:09,844 --> 00:55:12,180
Alright. Hey, listen,
this is Elliot.
1120
00:55:12,213 --> 00:55:13,815
Alright. Chaz, drinks, go.
1121
00:55:13,848 --> 00:55:15,616
Go, go, go.
1122
00:55:16,584 --> 00:55:18,451
Looks like the boys
are coming around.
1123
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,354
Something's off.
This guy's got a real
1124
00:55:21,388 --> 00:55:22,690
"my dad's lawyer
got me probation
1125
00:55:22,723 --> 00:55:24,692
for roofing girls"
kind of vibe.
1126
00:55:24,725 --> 00:55:26,994
That's a very
specific vibe, Mol.
1127
00:55:27,028 --> 00:55:28,328
Mm. It's what I'm getting.
1128
00:55:31,032 --> 00:55:32,767
[Molly] Oh, Lindsay. Hey, girl.
1129
00:55:36,604 --> 00:55:39,607
Alright, my brothers
and my brothers' ladies,
listen up.
1130
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,475
I wanna dedicate this shot
1131
00:55:43,311 --> 00:55:45,112
to my boy Elliot here.
1132
00:55:46,514 --> 00:55:49,517
Takes a giant set
of boss level balls
1133
00:55:49,550 --> 00:55:51,919
to show his face around here
after what he did to Dem.
1134
00:55:52,419 --> 00:55:54,487
- Am I right?
- [crowd] Yeah!
1135
00:55:54,522 --> 00:55:56,691
- Am I right?!
- [crowd] Yeah!
1136
00:55:56,724 --> 00:56:01,062
So, let's give him
a big Mu welcome!
1137
00:56:01,095 --> 00:56:02,429
On three.
1138
00:56:02,997 --> 00:56:06,767
One... two... three...
1139
00:56:08,002 --> 00:56:10,738
[laughter]
1140
00:56:16,010 --> 00:56:17,545
[Stu] Jesus!
1141
00:56:18,813 --> 00:56:19,981
[Elliot] Uh...
1142
00:56:22,016 --> 00:56:23,584
That's a huge dick!
1143
00:56:29,123 --> 00:56:30,658
Elliot!
1144
00:56:31,525 --> 00:56:34,695
[Stu] What a fucking loser,
dude. Fuck that guy.
1145
00:56:34,729 --> 00:56:37,632
- Wow, you are not
very bright, are you?
- Yeah.
1146
00:56:37,665 --> 00:56:39,667
You just did that kid
a huge favor.
1147
00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:41,903
[Stu scoffs] I think I did
his parents the favor.
1148
00:56:41,936 --> 00:56:44,639
Probably saved them
50 grand in tuition money.
1149
00:56:45,706 --> 00:56:49,944
You just showed everyone
the massive secret weapon
he's been hiding.
1150
00:56:51,979 --> 00:56:54,548
I mean, it wa--
it wasn't that massive.
1151
00:56:54,582 --> 00:56:57,051
- I've had a few dicks.
It's big.
- Big.
1152
00:56:57,785 --> 00:57:00,420
Yeah, well, too bad he won't
step foot in here again.
1153
00:57:00,453 --> 00:57:03,691
- [Molly] Hmm.
- My house, my rules.
1154
00:57:03,724 --> 00:57:07,128
Care to make a wager on that,
William Cosby?
1155
00:57:07,995 --> 00:57:09,096
Mr. Pudding Pop?
1156
00:57:09,130 --> 00:57:13,768
Okay, first off,
my name's Stu, Stuart Gable.
1157
00:57:13,801 --> 00:57:15,870
- And second--
- Second, I don't give a fuck.
1158
00:57:15,903 --> 00:57:17,738
Are you man enough
to wager or not?
1159
00:57:17,772 --> 00:57:19,707
- Hm?
- What's the wager?
1160
00:57:21,575 --> 00:57:23,476
Wager. Wager is...
1161
00:57:23,511 --> 00:57:25,346
- Booze-catholon.
- Booze-catholon.
1162
00:57:25,379 --> 00:57:26,747
Saturday. Our place.
1163
00:57:26,781 --> 00:57:29,050
If we win, Elliot gets a bid.
1164
00:57:29,083 --> 00:57:30,418
And if I win?
1165
00:57:30,450 --> 00:57:32,887
Or, let me rephrase that.
1166
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:34,088
When I win.
1167
00:57:34,121 --> 00:57:35,222
I fuck you.
1168
00:57:35,890 --> 00:57:37,425
- What the fuck?
- [Molly] Or...
1169
00:57:38,092 --> 00:57:40,227
Another option would be...
1170
00:57:40,261 --> 00:57:43,463
- How about...
- Oh, there you go.
1171
00:57:44,198 --> 00:57:45,533
Keys?
1172
00:57:46,033 --> 00:57:47,702
Yes, the whole car, moron.
1173
00:57:47,735 --> 00:57:49,603
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- The car.
1174
00:57:49,637 --> 00:57:52,406
You're on.
You are fucking on!
1175
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,309
Yeah! A fucking car,
dude. [grunts]
1176
00:57:55,343 --> 00:57:58,412
So much dudebro-ness.
1177
00:57:58,446 --> 00:58:00,114
Better get your pussy ready.
1178
00:58:00,982 --> 00:58:03,317
- My what?
- [Paulie] Your pussy.
1179
00:58:03,351 --> 00:58:05,152
[Molly] See you Saturday, Stu.
1180
00:58:09,523 --> 00:58:10,725
[knock on door]
1181
00:58:10,758 --> 00:58:13,961
Steiner, open the door.
It's me, Molly.
1182
00:58:13,995 --> 00:58:16,998
- [Elliot] Go away.
- Oh, come on.
It's not that bad.
1183
00:58:17,031 --> 00:58:19,100
[stammers] Look,
we've all been there.
1184
00:58:19,133 --> 00:58:21,936
[Elliot] We have? When was
the last time that you had
your wang exposed
1185
00:58:21,969 --> 00:58:23,304
to 100 strangers?
1186
00:58:23,337 --> 00:58:24,638
Did you just say "wang"?
1187
00:58:24,672 --> 00:58:26,741
[Elliot] Oh, my God.
Molly, just go away.
1188
00:58:26,774 --> 00:58:28,242
Okay, seriously, Elliot,
1189
00:58:28,275 --> 00:58:29,777
- we will figure this out. Hm?
- [RA 1] Excuse me.
1190
00:58:29,810 --> 00:58:31,979
It's quiet hours.
So we need you to wrap it up.
1191
00:58:32,013 --> 00:58:35,149
Oh. You know what?
It's so great you're here.
1192
00:58:35,182 --> 00:58:39,320
Because I'm a dummy and I just--
I locked myself out of my room.
1193
00:58:39,353 --> 00:58:40,888
Uh, well, this is
the freshman dorm.
1194
00:58:40,921 --> 00:58:44,792
Um, the grad school dorm
is on north campus.
1195
00:58:44,825 --> 00:58:46,994
[scoffs] First of all,
that is very hurtful.
1196
00:58:47,028 --> 00:58:49,997
- [RA 1] Well...
- Secondly, I just wanna say,
1197
00:58:50,031 --> 00:58:54,468
the two of you are doing
one hell of a job.
1198
00:58:54,502 --> 00:58:56,337
- [scoffs]
- No, I'm serious.
1199
00:58:56,370 --> 00:58:58,305
You're goddamn saints.
Let me tell you,
1200
00:58:58,339 --> 00:59:01,175
all these drunk, horny freshmen
running around here
1201
00:59:01,208 --> 00:59:03,044
like uncaged animals in heat.
1202
00:59:03,077 --> 00:59:06,180
All the-- the vomit
and the foot odor
and the one weird foreign kid
1203
00:59:06,213 --> 00:59:08,849
who insists on cooking
his own meals
in the communal kitchen.
1204
00:59:08,883 --> 00:59:12,086
- Always gets in my nose.
- How do you handle that?
1205
00:59:12,787 --> 00:59:15,056
- How do you do it?
- [RA 2 crying]
1206
00:59:15,089 --> 00:59:17,425
- [clipboards thuds]
- [Molly] Whoa.
Hey, are you okay?
1207
00:59:17,458 --> 00:59:20,294
- [crying continues]
- It's okay.
1208
00:59:20,327 --> 00:59:22,730
They're such assholes.
1209
00:59:22,763 --> 00:59:24,765
- I know. I know.
- [sobbing]
1210
00:59:24,799 --> 00:59:27,268
- They're monsters.
- I know. I know.
1211
00:59:27,301 --> 00:59:29,003
[doors opening]
1212
00:59:29,036 --> 00:59:30,604
You're all monsters!
1213
00:59:30,638 --> 00:59:32,440
Wow, so much for quiet time.
1214
00:59:32,473 --> 00:59:33,808
[RA 2] They never
trained us for this.
1215
00:59:33,841 --> 00:59:35,076
Oh, everything's fine.
1216
00:59:35,109 --> 00:59:37,211
- Everything's good. Okay.
- [doors closing]
1217
00:59:37,244 --> 00:59:40,014
- You're alright.
Pull it together.
- [breathes heavily]
1218
00:59:40,047 --> 00:59:42,783
I know it is tough out there,
but right now...
1219
00:59:43,451 --> 00:59:44,885
I need your help. I do.
1220
00:59:44,919 --> 00:59:47,021
I need to do a welfare check
on Steiner in there.
1221
00:59:47,054 --> 00:59:48,789
I met him at a counseling center
a week ago
1222
00:59:48,823 --> 00:59:51,592
and he has been sending me
some very alarming text messages
1223
00:59:51,625 --> 00:59:52,660
this evening.
1224
00:59:53,260 --> 00:59:54,795
- [RA 1] Like what?
- [RA 2] Alarming like...?
1225
00:59:54,829 --> 00:59:56,997
- [imitates slashing]
- [RA 2] Oh, oh.
1226
00:59:57,031 --> 00:59:58,799
- [RA 1] Okay, okay, okay.
- Blood. Everywhere.
1227
00:59:58,833 --> 01:00:00,901
- [RA 1] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, get us in there.
Come on.
1228
01:00:02,103 --> 01:00:04,004
Whoa. What the hell!
1229
01:00:04,038 --> 01:00:06,575
- [sighs]
- Steiner!
Thank God you're okay.
1230
01:00:06,607 --> 01:00:09,110
Oh, I was worried sick. [sighs]
1231
01:00:09,143 --> 01:00:10,344
You look great. Perfect.
1232
01:00:10,377 --> 01:00:12,046
Alright, you two.
1233
01:00:12,079 --> 01:00:14,982
You have no idea
what difference you just made
in this kid's life.
1234
01:00:15,015 --> 01:00:18,219
- We matter.
- Okay, now it's time to go.
1235
01:00:18,252 --> 01:00:19,554
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
1236
01:00:19,588 --> 01:00:20,788
[overlapping chatter]
1237
01:00:20,821 --> 01:00:23,190
Oh, yeah. Um,
by the way, it's...
1238
01:00:23,224 --> 01:00:25,726
- It's still fucking
quiet hours, so...
- Oh, yes.
1239
01:00:25,759 --> 01:00:27,261
- Cool.
- Shh.
1240
01:00:28,996 --> 01:00:31,398
- Phew.
- Are you just trying
1241
01:00:31,432 --> 01:00:33,300
to ruin my life?
Is that it, or...?
1242
01:00:33,334 --> 01:00:36,003
No. What?
No, just the opposite.
1243
01:00:36,036 --> 01:00:40,241
I'm trying to get you to,
you know, grab life
by the tits and embrace it.
1244
01:00:40,274 --> 01:00:43,711
Come on, college is supposed
to be like the greatest time
in your life.
1245
01:00:44,678 --> 01:00:46,714
It is not the greatest
time of my life.
1246
01:00:46,747 --> 01:00:48,115
Everyone wants it to be.
You, my mom.
1247
01:00:48,149 --> 01:00:51,252
But it-- it isn't
and it never will because...
1248
01:00:51,285 --> 01:00:53,888
Because you're a virgin?
Look, we can fix that.
1249
01:00:53,921 --> 01:00:55,189
- Okay, we--
- No, no, because
it just feels like
1250
01:00:55,222 --> 01:00:57,791
that it's not even
my fucking life anymore.
1251
01:00:57,825 --> 01:01:00,361
And it's just a reminder
of the absence of my dad.
1252
01:01:00,394 --> 01:01:02,763
Like I'm his fucking Avatar .
1253
01:01:02,796 --> 01:01:05,065
Hm, well,
that is a great movie.
1254
01:01:05,733 --> 01:01:08,068
- Who the fuck says that?!
- Sorry.
1255
01:01:08,102 --> 01:01:10,237
I don't know why I said that.
That's not...
1256
01:01:10,271 --> 01:01:13,140
I just-- I don't,
I don't even know
what I wanna do with my life,
1257
01:01:13,174 --> 01:01:16,377
let alone what
I'm gonna do here.
Like I-I... [sighs]
1258
01:01:16,410 --> 01:01:20,447
I just-- I know I just
don't wanna be sad
all the time anymore.
1259
01:01:20,481 --> 01:01:21,815
Hmm...
1260
01:01:23,585 --> 01:01:24,952
Wow. Yeah.
1261
01:01:25,620 --> 01:01:27,288
[both sigh]
1262
01:01:32,259 --> 01:01:36,430
Look, I-I have no idea
what it must feel like
to lose your dad.
1263
01:01:39,668 --> 01:01:43,270
But I do know
what it's like to have no idea
what you wanna do in your life.
1264
01:01:45,507 --> 01:01:46,907
Hey, at least you care,
you know?
1265
01:01:46,941 --> 01:01:50,878
You're not all numb to it
and fucked up on antidepressants
1266
01:01:50,911 --> 01:01:52,780
in a career that most people
would dream of,
1267
01:01:52,813 --> 01:01:54,949
but you're just
so damn unhappy
1268
01:01:54,982 --> 01:01:57,284
working every day
with people at their worst
1269
01:01:57,318 --> 01:02:00,387
fighting over
who's gonna get to keep
the fucking smart toaster.
1270
01:02:02,489 --> 01:02:05,594
Sorry, yeah,
that's just an example
of someone completely random
1271
01:02:05,627 --> 01:02:09,330
who is definitely more lost
than you are.
1272
01:02:12,399 --> 01:02:13,367
Listen.
1273
01:02:14,268 --> 01:02:15,637
Give me one more chance.
1274
01:02:15,670 --> 01:02:17,037
And if I can't prove to you
by tomorrow
1275
01:02:17,071 --> 01:02:19,039
that the best is yet to come,
1276
01:02:19,608 --> 01:02:21,008
then Paulie and I will go.
1277
01:02:21,041 --> 01:02:23,177
We will vanish into the night.
1278
01:02:24,044 --> 01:02:26,046
Why do you wanna
help me so much?
1279
01:02:26,715 --> 01:02:27,982
[exhales]
1280
01:02:28,015 --> 01:02:31,553
Just think of me
as your little Jiminy Cricket
1281
01:02:31,586 --> 01:02:33,754
on your shoulder
hanging out,
1282
01:02:33,787 --> 01:02:37,525
trying to convince you
to be young and have fun.
1283
01:02:38,859 --> 01:02:40,361
And to get fucked up.
1284
01:02:40,394 --> 01:02:42,196
[both chuckle]
1285
01:02:44,965 --> 01:02:47,234
Alright. Gotta get
the party feng shui here.
1286
01:02:47,268 --> 01:02:49,903
- Where do you want this?
- Oh, that's a good spot for it.
1287
01:02:49,937 --> 01:02:51,673
Just back up a little bit.
1288
01:02:51,706 --> 01:02:53,675
No. Go towards Steiner.
Go towards Steiner.
1289
01:02:53,708 --> 01:02:55,009
A little bit more.
Nope, nope, nope.
1290
01:02:55,042 --> 01:03:00,615
[Paulie and Elliot grunting]
1291
01:03:01,282 --> 01:03:04,385
Hey, Mol.
"Jews will not replace us.
1292
01:03:04,418 --> 01:03:06,954
- Jews will not replace us."
- Uh-uh. No, absolutely not.
1293
01:03:06,987 --> 01:03:09,023
Yep, out of bounds.
I felt that almost immediately.
1294
01:03:09,056 --> 01:03:10,791
- [Elliot] Wait.
- [Molly] No, no. No.
1295
01:03:10,824 --> 01:03:13,827
Steiner, you come back now.
Yeah, we're just trying
to even that out.
1296
01:03:13,861 --> 01:03:15,296
Oh, wait, stop. Yeah,
that's perfect.
1297
01:03:15,329 --> 01:03:16,964
- Is it? You sure?
- Yeah, that's good.
1298
01:03:16,997 --> 01:03:18,365
Maybe just a little
bit over here.
1299
01:03:18,399 --> 01:03:21,468
["Bad Ass Self" (feat. Kennzo)
by Lack Of Afro playing]
1300
01:03:25,939 --> 01:03:27,742
Are you guys sure about this?
1301
01:03:27,776 --> 01:03:29,209
Oh, absolutely, Steiner.
1302
01:03:29,243 --> 01:03:30,944
This vitamin drip
will keep us sober
1303
01:03:30,978 --> 01:03:33,682
- well into the later rounds.
- Yeah, it's the same shit
1304
01:03:33,715 --> 01:03:35,215
they give to Armstrong
for Tour de France.
1305
01:03:35,249 --> 01:03:38,218
- What?
- Relax, I'm joking. Geez.
1306
01:03:38,252 --> 01:03:40,522
[chuckles]
1307
01:03:42,489 --> 01:03:43,991
[Elliot] Why am I cold?
1308
01:03:44,559 --> 01:03:45,959
Oh, yeah,
just let that happen.
1309
01:03:45,993 --> 01:03:47,796
- Mm-hmm.
- Let it happen.
1310
01:03:47,828 --> 01:03:49,764
["Something So Good"
by Naffy Cous Cous playing]
1311
01:03:49,798 --> 01:03:53,233
[indistinct chatter]
1312
01:04:15,155 --> 01:04:17,358
This is your party, sir.
Take it all in
1313
01:04:17,391 --> 01:04:19,993
because you are
the coolest guy in the room.
1314
01:04:20,027 --> 01:04:21,796
- I don't know about that.
- Oh, yeah, you are.
1315
01:04:21,830 --> 01:04:24,098
- Come on. Seriously.
- [door opens]
1316
01:04:34,642 --> 01:04:38,045
No. Patience,
young Padawan. Patience.
1317
01:04:38,078 --> 01:04:40,080
Singer is gonna get her
to come to you.
1318
01:04:40,948 --> 01:04:41,982
Who's Singer?
1319
01:04:42,817 --> 01:04:46,954
Molly. I call her
"Singer" sometimes
because she loves karaoke.
1320
01:04:46,987 --> 01:04:48,523
[laughs] But she can't sing.
1321
01:04:49,256 --> 01:04:51,225
Just shut the fuck up
and just pay attention.
1322
01:04:52,660 --> 01:04:54,061
Goddamn.
1323
01:04:54,928 --> 01:04:56,363
This party is sick.
1324
01:04:56,397 --> 01:04:59,366
Yeah, how does a student
afford a place like this?
1325
01:05:00,267 --> 01:05:02,169
I heard the Asian dude's
a movie star.
1326
01:05:02,202 --> 01:05:04,204
Chaz. Beer.
1327
01:05:04,238 --> 01:05:05,640
Fuck off. Now.
1328
01:05:07,408 --> 01:05:08,475
You seem tense.
1329
01:05:08,510 --> 01:05:11,311
No, I'm good. There's ice
in these pipes, baby.
1330
01:05:18,419 --> 01:05:19,386
[groans]
1331
01:05:20,354 --> 01:05:21,455
IPAs.
1332
01:05:22,356 --> 01:05:23,991
Even their beer thinks
it's better than me.
1333
01:05:24,024 --> 01:05:28,228
Well, hello, Miss Lindsay
and a whole bunch of dudes.
1334
01:05:28,262 --> 01:05:29,430
How are we doing tonight?
1335
01:05:29,463 --> 01:05:31,498
- We were just conversing.
- [Molly] Oh.
1336
01:05:31,533 --> 01:05:34,001
How does a student afford
a place like this?
1337
01:05:34,468 --> 01:05:39,473
Oh, well, um, you know
how Imelda Marcos
has like a lot of shoes?
1338
01:05:39,507 --> 01:05:41,275
Well, Paulie's mom has more.
1339
01:05:42,877 --> 01:05:44,546
Who the fuck is Imelda Marcos?
1340
01:05:44,579 --> 01:05:47,281
Yeah, I'm just saying
that they're rich.
1341
01:05:47,314 --> 01:05:48,982
- Really fucking rich.
- Okay.
1342
01:05:49,016 --> 01:05:50,585
Uh, is this your team?
1343
01:05:50,618 --> 01:05:52,352
Yep. And I assume it's you,
1344
01:05:52,386 --> 01:05:53,888
Kung Flu, and Home Phone
over there?
1345
01:05:53,922 --> 01:05:55,122
[frat brothers laugh]
1346
01:05:55,155 --> 01:05:57,157
Okay, first off, racist.
1347
01:05:57,191 --> 01:05:59,561
Second, it's, uh, Phone Home.
1348
01:05:59,594 --> 01:06:03,230
But, um, anyway, our fourth
had to drop out unexpectedly
1349
01:06:03,263 --> 01:06:04,998
and I was hoping
Lindsay could step in.
1350
01:06:05,032 --> 01:06:06,467
- Lindsay?
- Me?
1351
01:06:06,500 --> 01:06:07,635
- Yeah.
- [scoffs]
1352
01:06:07,669 --> 01:06:09,036
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
1353
01:06:09,069 --> 01:06:11,171
W-wait. Why are you
speaking for me?
1354
01:06:11,205 --> 01:06:13,106
Because you're here with me.
1355
01:06:13,140 --> 01:06:14,609
What, you just think
I'm just gonna let you run off--
1356
01:06:14,642 --> 01:06:17,612
You don't have to let me
do anything. It's my decision.
1357
01:06:18,212 --> 01:06:20,548
- I'm in.
- [Molly] Oh, yeah.
Get it, girl.
1358
01:06:20,582 --> 01:06:21,616
Okay.
1359
01:06:23,918 --> 01:06:26,253
Ladies and gentlemen,
1360
01:06:26,286 --> 01:06:32,961
welcome to the first annual
Firehouse Booze-catholon!
1361
01:06:32,993 --> 01:06:34,562
[cheering]
1362
01:06:34,596 --> 01:06:36,263
Yes.
1363
01:06:36,296 --> 01:06:40,100
Presented to you by my man,
the one, the only,
1364
01:06:40,133 --> 01:06:44,004
Mr. Upper Decker
with huge lower decker!
1365
01:06:44,037 --> 01:06:45,439
He has a huge dick!
1366
01:06:45,472 --> 01:06:47,842
It's Elliot Steiner!
1367
01:06:47,876 --> 01:06:50,077
Yeah!
1368
01:06:50,110 --> 01:06:52,045
[cheering continues]
1369
01:06:52,079 --> 01:06:55,382
Now, this will be a test
of will and endurance
1370
01:06:55,415 --> 01:06:58,285
- between the forces of Ki Mu...
- [all] Mu!
1371
01:06:58,318 --> 01:07:01,321
...and myself, those two--
1372
01:07:01,355 --> 01:07:02,991
We-- we don't really
have a team name,
1373
01:07:03,023 --> 01:07:05,192
but you know, you get
the, uh, point there.
1374
01:07:05,225 --> 01:07:08,195
So if we win,
Elliot gets a bid into Ki Mu,
1375
01:07:08,228 --> 01:07:10,397
but if we lose...
Ho-ho-ho.
1376
01:07:10,430 --> 01:07:14,401
If we lose, Stuart Gable
gets to drive off
with my baby Beamer--
1377
01:07:14,434 --> 01:07:16,004
No!
1378
01:07:16,036 --> 01:07:18,673
- [crowd booing]
- [groans] No!
1379
01:07:18,706 --> 01:07:22,142
- Big boo! Big boo!
- Mine.
1380
01:07:22,175 --> 01:07:25,513
Alright. You are all witnesses
as well as judges.
1381
01:07:25,547 --> 01:07:27,147
Let the games begin!
1382
01:07:27,180 --> 01:07:29,149
- Whoo!
- [crowd cheering]
1383
01:07:29,182 --> 01:07:30,919
[Bob] In what oncewould have taken place
1384
01:07:30,952 --> 01:07:32,820
on the sandsof the Roman Colosseum,
1385
01:07:32,854 --> 01:07:34,722
this is the Booze-Catholon.
1386
01:07:34,756 --> 01:07:36,991
Five events that couldonly have been conceived
1387
01:07:37,025 --> 01:07:39,027
at a liberal arts collegenear you.
1388
01:07:39,092 --> 01:07:40,995
First up, King's Cup.
1389
01:07:41,029 --> 01:07:44,197
[all groaning]
1390
01:07:44,231 --> 01:07:46,500
Ladies of the night.
1391
01:07:46,968 --> 01:07:49,102
Mmm. [exhales]
1392
01:07:51,973 --> 01:07:55,242
Nine. It's a rhyme.
1393
01:07:55,275 --> 01:07:56,443
- Stack.
- [Bob] Molly testing...
1394
01:07:56,476 --> 01:07:57,745
- Um, Black.
- ...the short-term memory
1395
01:07:57,912 --> 01:07:59,547
- of these binge-drinkerswith a rhyme.
- Tack.
1396
01:08:00,048 --> 01:08:01,448
[Stu] Jacked.
1397
01:08:02,717 --> 01:08:04,719
- Black!
- [Bob] I can smellthe student loans
1398
01:08:04,752 --> 01:08:06,588
not being paid backby this Chaz kid.
1399
01:08:06,621 --> 01:08:08,990
How hard is it
to fucking rhyme, Chaz?
1400
01:08:09,023 --> 01:08:10,925
[crowd oohing]
1401
01:08:10,959 --> 01:08:13,828
[Bob] Johnny pays homageto the crowd
1402
01:08:13,861 --> 01:08:15,730
as does young Steiner.
1403
01:08:17,632 --> 01:08:20,034
[groans] Oh!
1404
01:08:20,068 --> 01:08:23,470
[Bob] That pitcheris filling up fasterthan these kids' bladders.
1405
01:08:24,739 --> 01:08:26,239
And that seals it, folks.
1406
01:08:26,273 --> 01:08:29,309
The last kinggoes to Greg from Ki Mu.
1407
01:08:29,877 --> 01:08:36,684
[crowd chanting]
Chug, chug, chug,
chug, chug, chug.
1408
01:08:36,718 --> 01:08:39,219
[Bob] Greg's showingthe chugging ability
1409
01:08:39,252 --> 01:08:42,255
of a toddler enjoyinghis sippy cup.
1410
01:08:43,357 --> 01:08:45,492
Having a drinking contestwithout Beer Pong
1411
01:08:45,526 --> 01:08:47,662
is like an orgywithout a pivot person.
1412
01:08:47,695 --> 01:08:51,198
Beer Pong consists of-- Ugh.You know what? No. No.
1413
01:08:51,231 --> 01:08:52,567
If you don't knowwhat Beer Pong is,
1414
01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:54,401
you need to focus moreon the fucking rock
1415
01:08:54,434 --> 01:08:55,770
that you've been living under.
1416
01:08:55,803 --> 01:08:57,437
Let's just see where this goes.
1417
01:08:57,905 --> 01:08:59,841
♪
1418
01:09:08,650 --> 01:09:11,819
Gable lining up this last shotwith the same blind confidence
1419
01:09:11,853 --> 01:09:15,089
that allowed himto walk out of the doorwith that shirt on tonight.
1420
01:09:15,123 --> 01:09:16,289
Bang!
1421
01:09:16,323 --> 01:09:18,392
And the boys from Ki Mu
1422
01:09:18,425 --> 01:09:20,662
draw even with Team Molly.
1423
01:09:20,695 --> 01:09:24,032
Congratulations,
you won the McDonald's
of fucking drinking games.
1424
01:09:24,065 --> 01:09:25,365
Basic bro.
1425
01:09:26,500 --> 01:09:28,536
♪
1426
01:09:35,977 --> 01:09:39,113
[crowd cheering continues]
1427
01:09:39,514 --> 01:09:41,348
[Bob] Steiner dropsthe thumb on the table
1428
01:09:41,381 --> 01:09:45,787
and once again Chazproved to be as sharpas a goddamn bowling ball.
1429
01:09:50,424 --> 01:09:53,460
The Mu's Johnny fails to removethe Invisible Man
1430
01:09:53,493 --> 01:09:56,964
and will be downingthe remainder of his brew.
1431
01:10:00,902 --> 01:10:04,505
Stu Gable drops the last card.What is this?
1432
01:10:05,740 --> 01:10:08,509
[crowd clamoring]
1433
01:10:09,744 --> 01:10:12,647
[Molly] I want your shorts
on your head, please.
1434
01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:14,982
[Bob] No wordif he's going commando,
1435
01:10:15,016 --> 01:10:19,587
though as whiteas those shorts are,I would hope to God not.
1436
01:10:21,956 --> 01:10:25,727
The pile is getting thickand the nativesare getting restless.
1437
01:10:29,997 --> 01:10:33,433
[crowd groaning]
1438
01:10:33,901 --> 01:10:35,103
Pop off that shirt.
1439
01:10:35,136 --> 01:10:37,404
Mm? Excuse me?
1440
01:10:37,437 --> 01:10:39,507
Stu, what are you doing?
You won.
1441
01:10:39,540 --> 01:10:41,809
No, she made me wear
my shorts as a hat.
1442
01:10:41,843 --> 01:10:44,377
Now, I'm the king.
You're the asshole.
1443
01:10:44,411 --> 01:10:45,947
Pop off that fucking shirt.
1444
01:10:45,980 --> 01:10:47,582
Alright, yeah.
He's right.
1445
01:10:47,615 --> 01:10:49,817
And you are the king
after all, so...
1446
01:10:51,986 --> 01:10:53,386
Shirt's coming off.
1447
01:10:57,725 --> 01:10:59,392
[indistinct]
1448
01:11:01,294 --> 01:11:03,998
[Bob] Holy shit,Peter, look out!
1449
01:11:04,031 --> 01:11:05,833
It's a trap.
1450
01:11:05,867 --> 01:11:07,434
[indistinct]
1451
01:11:08,770 --> 01:11:09,937
Put your shirt back on.
1452
01:11:09,971 --> 01:11:12,006
It is a little stuffy.
I think I'll just keep it off.
1453
01:11:12,039 --> 01:11:13,708
Put your shirt back on.
1454
01:11:13,741 --> 01:11:16,110
I don't know,
I'm feeling good like this.
1455
01:11:16,144 --> 01:11:17,912
You know that's not true.
1456
01:11:18,746 --> 01:11:21,549
- Tell her.
- [Bob] A victory for Ki Mu
1457
01:11:21,582 --> 01:11:24,018
turns into a moral defeatfor Gable...
1458
01:11:24,051 --> 01:11:25,953
- Please.
- ...and his cable.
1459
01:11:26,521 --> 01:11:29,624
Ki Mu really testingtheir lung capacity and IQs
1460
01:11:29,657 --> 01:11:32,392
as they try and blowthe perfect smoke ring.
1461
01:11:35,696 --> 01:11:39,801
Meanwhile, Paulie, the prince,gives Ki Mu his resting O face
1462
01:11:39,834 --> 01:11:42,003
as he blowsthree perfect rings,
1463
01:11:42,036 --> 01:11:45,907
and we are tiedgoing into the final event.
1464
01:11:48,341 --> 01:11:50,878
[exhales] Alright.
Fucking hands off.
1465
01:11:56,483 --> 01:11:58,953
- [crowd oohing]
- [laughs]
1466
01:11:58,986 --> 01:12:01,222
[sarcastic laugh]
1467
01:12:01,255 --> 01:12:02,623
[Molly clears throat]
1468
01:12:05,425 --> 01:12:07,261
[Molly groans]
1469
01:12:07,295 --> 01:12:10,064
Yeah! Attaboy!
1470
01:12:17,972 --> 01:12:19,006
You know what?
1471
01:12:20,308 --> 01:12:21,542
[clicks tongue]
1472
01:12:23,878 --> 01:12:25,580
[crowd groaning]
1473
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:28,082
[Molly] And then there were two.
1474
01:12:28,115 --> 01:12:29,984
- [laughs]
- What are you doing?
1475
01:12:31,018 --> 01:12:32,119
Letting you handle it.
1476
01:12:34,589 --> 01:12:37,490
- Hey. Whoa, Elliot.
- Or maybe one.
1477
01:12:38,326 --> 01:12:39,594
Where are you going?
1478
01:12:40,228 --> 01:12:41,629
Why did you do that?
We could have had him.
1479
01:12:41,662 --> 01:12:43,631
Okay. Whoa, whoa,
we do still have him.
1480
01:12:43,664 --> 01:12:45,166
- You have him.
- No, we don't.
1481
01:12:45,199 --> 01:12:46,634
I mean, have you
seen that guy?
1482
01:12:46,667 --> 01:12:48,903
You're not fighting
in the fucking octagon.
1483
01:12:48,936 --> 01:12:50,271
This is a game of skill.
1484
01:12:50,304 --> 01:12:51,906
- Yes, he is.
- What?
1485
01:12:51,939 --> 01:12:54,942
Elliot, this your octagon.
1486
01:12:55,442 --> 01:12:57,845
It's Sarah versus Carter,
UFC 31.
1487
01:12:57,879 --> 01:13:01,549
Yeah. Yes. Sierra Mist
versus Aaron Carter, or...
1488
01:13:02,449 --> 01:13:03,951
Look, okay, no.
1489
01:13:05,519 --> 01:13:07,588
- [sighs]
- This is a defining moment.
1490
01:13:07,622 --> 01:13:09,389
Now what's it gonna be?
1491
01:13:10,124 --> 01:13:11,092
Hm?
1492
01:13:15,329 --> 01:13:16,564
[chuckles]
1493
01:13:17,531 --> 01:13:19,600
[Molly] Yeah! Alright!
1494
01:13:19,634 --> 01:13:21,002
[guest] Yo, look who's back.
1495
01:13:21,736 --> 01:13:23,104
[Bob] It's not over yet, folks,
1496
01:13:23,137 --> 01:13:26,007
as it appears that Steineris ready to re-engage.
1497
01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:28,876
[scoffs] What,
did you grow some balls
out there or something?
1498
01:13:28,910 --> 01:13:30,077
Yeah.
1499
01:13:30,111 --> 01:13:31,345
I doubt that.
1500
01:13:31,379 --> 01:13:33,147
[Bob] Dynamite back and forth
1501
01:13:33,180 --> 01:13:34,882
between two wordsmiths.
1502
01:13:35,616 --> 01:13:37,919
- Come on. Nice and easy.
- Chaz, do not touch.
1503
01:13:37,952 --> 01:13:41,622
[Bob] The steady handof the third-year seniorraises up.
1504
01:13:42,957 --> 01:13:44,525
- [crowd groaning]
- [Bob] Whammo!
1505
01:13:44,558 --> 01:13:46,394
Gable gambles and wins
1506
01:13:46,459 --> 01:13:50,531
and Steiner hasa cricket's cockof a chance of winning this.
1507
01:13:51,365 --> 01:13:53,000
Here's the pour.
1508
01:13:55,369 --> 01:13:58,205
Holy shit, he did it!
1509
01:13:58,239 --> 01:14:00,341
- [guest 1] Hey!
- [guest 2] Nice!
1510
01:14:00,374 --> 01:14:02,109
[crowd clamoring]
1511
01:14:06,479 --> 01:14:08,983
[sighs heavily]
1512
01:14:09,016 --> 01:14:11,585
[Greg] Alright, man.
Breathe. Breathe.
1513
01:14:11,619 --> 01:14:13,187
I'm fucking breathing.
1514
01:14:18,125 --> 01:14:19,627
[huffs air]
1515
01:14:22,063 --> 01:14:23,164
[groaning]
1516
01:14:23,197 --> 01:14:26,000
- [crowd cheering]
- [Bob] Skadoosh! It's over!
1517
01:14:27,335 --> 01:14:29,370
The Upper Deckermeets redemption.
1518
01:14:29,403 --> 01:14:31,605
Stu Gable meets rejection
1519
01:14:31,639 --> 01:14:34,375
and there is a fat guyin the corner puking.
1520
01:14:34,408 --> 01:14:38,079
It's like I'm watching Rudy
for the first fucking time.
1521
01:14:43,017 --> 01:14:45,987
[Lindsay laughing]
I can't believe you did that.
1522
01:14:47,722 --> 01:14:49,957
Oh, my God.
I'm scared.
1523
01:14:49,991 --> 01:14:51,325
[gasps] Jump.
1524
01:14:51,359 --> 01:14:52,393
[giggles]
1525
01:14:53,094 --> 01:14:55,663
- [grunts, exhales]
- Aah! [giggles, gasps]
1526
01:14:55,696 --> 01:14:57,064
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
1527
01:14:57,465 --> 01:15:00,901
I have to ask you
a very important question.
1528
01:15:00,935 --> 01:15:01,902
What?
1529
01:15:03,471 --> 01:15:04,905
How far are the dorms?
1530
01:15:04,939 --> 01:15:07,675
Oh, pfft...
Not even that far.
1531
01:15:13,414 --> 01:15:15,249
Yeah, that's like
really fucking far.
1532
01:15:15,282 --> 01:15:18,386
Oh, rats. [grunts]
1533
01:15:18,419 --> 01:15:21,622
- [both laugh]
- [phone buzzing]
1534
01:15:26,327 --> 01:15:27,928
[gasps] Ooh!
1535
01:15:27,962 --> 01:15:31,232
[both laughing]
1536
01:15:31,265 --> 01:15:33,934
Oh, my God.
Look at his abs.
1537
01:15:33,968 --> 01:15:36,771
They look like the bottom
of a carton of eggs.
1538
01:15:37,371 --> 01:15:38,806
He's called you,
like, seven times.
1539
01:15:38,839 --> 01:15:40,408
You should probably
call him back.
1540
01:15:40,875 --> 01:15:43,277
I mean, I don't think
you'd like him
when he's angry.
1541
01:15:43,310 --> 01:15:46,714
[laughs] Are you trying to say
that I'm dating the Hulk?
1542
01:15:46,747 --> 01:15:49,784
Well, I mean, I don't know
if he has the charm of the Hulk,
1543
01:15:49,817 --> 01:15:51,552
- but I mean...
- [laughs]
1544
01:15:51,585 --> 01:15:54,088
he's got the abs, so kinda.
1545
01:15:55,556 --> 01:15:57,558
No, seriously you should
probably call him back.
1546
01:15:57,591 --> 01:16:00,094
I mean, he is your guy.
1547
01:16:00,127 --> 01:16:03,631
["What I Came Here For"
by Luca Fogale playing]
1548
01:16:06,467 --> 01:16:07,735
Elliot Steiner...
1549
01:16:09,837 --> 01:16:12,807
I think that you are my guy.
1550
01:16:23,884 --> 01:16:26,821
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey, wait! You two! Right there.
1551
01:16:26,854 --> 01:16:29,524
No, no, no. No whoopee
in the amphitheater
and you know it.
1552
01:16:29,558 --> 01:16:32,293
- Get on back to the dorms now.
- [Elliot and Lindsay laughing]
1553
01:16:33,260 --> 01:16:34,829
It's not a rabbit hutch.
1554
01:16:36,230 --> 01:16:37,631
Sorry, sir!
1555
01:16:42,903 --> 01:16:46,273
[indistinct chatter on TV]
1556
01:16:54,381 --> 01:16:56,784
- Hey.
- Hey.
1557
01:16:56,817 --> 01:16:58,919
Sorry. I didn't know
if I should have left.
1558
01:16:58,953 --> 01:17:01,856
I didn't really feel right
about leaving you alone, so...
1559
01:17:01,889 --> 01:17:03,124
[Lindsay] I don't mind.
1560
01:17:03,824 --> 01:17:06,227
Pretty chivalrous actually.
1561
01:17:07,294 --> 01:17:08,329
Come here.
1562
01:17:21,909 --> 01:17:24,345
[groans] I really
wanna kiss you right now,
1563
01:17:24,945 --> 01:17:27,616
but it feels like a cat
peed in my mouth.
1564
01:17:27,648 --> 01:17:30,751
That's so tempting.
I might just risk it.
1565
01:17:30,784 --> 01:17:32,686
Oh, you might risk it?
1566
01:17:32,720 --> 01:17:35,089
- I think so. Yeah.
- Mm, you do?
1567
01:17:35,956 --> 01:17:39,226
- Oh, God. Okay, that was--
that was bad.
- Fucker.
1568
01:17:40,629 --> 01:17:41,962
What were you watching?
1569
01:17:42,564 --> 01:17:45,132
Just an old show
called The Pit.
1570
01:17:46,535 --> 01:17:48,335
Why do you like fighting
so much?
1571
01:17:49,937 --> 01:17:50,905
Um...
1572
01:17:52,541 --> 01:17:57,077
A couple of years ago,
when my dad got sick,
1573
01:17:57,111 --> 01:18:01,282
uh, he just got really,
really depressed. And...
1574
01:18:02,883 --> 01:18:05,386
uh, we were watching
TV one night.
1575
01:18:05,419 --> 01:18:07,054
Um, we were just surfing
the channels
1576
01:18:07,087 --> 01:18:11,425
and I stopped on this show
about this MMA fighter
1577
01:18:11,458 --> 01:18:13,928
who was diagnosed
with leukemia.
1578
01:18:15,329 --> 01:18:18,933
I think seeing two guys,
one in a similar
situation to his
1579
01:18:18,966 --> 01:18:21,001
just beat the living shit
out of each other
1580
01:18:21,035 --> 01:18:24,205
really fired him up
to beat his own disease.
1581
01:18:26,140 --> 01:18:27,174
And did he?
1582
01:18:28,108 --> 01:18:29,143
For another year.
1583
01:18:31,912 --> 01:18:34,748
Oh, he sounds like
a really great guy.
1584
01:18:35,783 --> 01:18:37,785
Yeah, he was.
1585
01:18:40,921 --> 01:18:43,190
You're a pretty
good guy too, you know?
1586
01:18:43,224 --> 01:18:46,293
Are you just trying
to butter me up
for another cat pee kiss?
1587
01:18:46,327 --> 01:18:49,230
Actually, I was trying
to butter you up
for some coffee.
1588
01:18:49,263 --> 01:18:52,099
- Oh, okay. Well, I'll get some.
- No, come here.
1589
01:19:06,947 --> 01:19:09,149
♪
1590
01:19:12,753 --> 01:19:14,488
[Molly] I can't believe
it's already Homecoming.
1591
01:19:14,522 --> 01:19:16,156
It feels like we just got here.
1592
01:19:16,190 --> 01:19:17,891
Anyway, after the game,
I was thinking...
1593
01:19:17,925 --> 01:19:20,828
Uh, Paulie, what is going on
with all this action?
1594
01:19:20,861 --> 01:19:24,198
I've got a test tomorrow
and my memory
is not what it used to be.
1595
01:19:24,231 --> 01:19:26,267
So if I just write it
over and over,
maybe I'll remember.
1596
01:19:26,300 --> 01:19:30,672
No, no, no. I was talking
more global, like,
what's with all the action?
1597
01:19:30,705 --> 01:19:32,741
- All the books and stuff.
- [sighs]
1598
01:19:32,773 --> 01:19:34,743
Okay. So a few weeks ago,
1599
01:19:34,775 --> 01:19:36,745
I saw this cute TA
walk into the psych building.
1600
01:19:36,777 --> 01:19:38,312
- Mm-hmm.
- So I followed him.
1601
01:19:38,345 --> 01:19:40,014
- Naturally.
- Right.
1602
01:19:40,047 --> 01:19:42,049
Didn't matter 'cause the minute
I walked in, I lost him.
1603
01:19:42,082 --> 01:19:44,151
Fricking six-foot-three gazelle.
I don't know how.
1604
01:19:44,184 --> 01:19:46,287
But it turns out,
I wandered into one
of the lecture halls.
1605
01:19:46,320 --> 01:19:47,254
Saucy.
1606
01:19:47,288 --> 01:19:48,856
Sat down,
listened for a minute,
1607
01:19:48,889 --> 01:19:51,559
and it was a lecture
on early adolescent psychology.
1608
01:19:51,593 --> 01:19:53,595
- Hot.
- Tsk. You can stop.
1609
01:19:53,628 --> 01:19:55,329
- Oh, yeah, right.
- Long story short,
1610
01:19:55,362 --> 01:19:58,299
I like what I heard,
so I went to another one.
1611
01:19:58,332 --> 01:19:59,433
What?
1612
01:19:59,466 --> 01:20:00,702
- I know.
- Paulie!
1613
01:20:00,735 --> 01:20:02,169
And another one.
1614
01:20:02,202 --> 01:20:03,971
- Wow.
- Yeah.
1615
01:20:04,004 --> 01:20:07,474
Oh, my God. You're like
a... student here.
1616
01:20:07,509 --> 01:20:08,976
I think I am.
1617
01:20:09,877 --> 01:20:11,045
- [sighs]
- That's great.
1618
01:20:11,078 --> 01:20:12,946
I'm really happy for you.
1619
01:20:12,980 --> 01:20:14,281
- You are?
- Mm-hmm.
1620
01:20:14,315 --> 01:20:16,718
So happy you'll leave me alone
so I can study?
1621
01:20:16,751 --> 01:20:18,319
Yeah, I'll leave you alone
1622
01:20:18,352 --> 01:20:20,187
- so you can study.
- Yeah. Alright.
1623
01:20:20,220 --> 01:20:22,022
- You know what? Steiner.
- Alright.
1624
01:20:22,056 --> 01:20:23,692
- Get me a burrito or something?
- Oh, yeah.
1625
01:20:23,725 --> 01:20:25,125
- Thank you.
- You want that brain burrito?
1626
01:20:25,159 --> 01:20:27,662
- Yes, please. Yes, please.
- Okay. Good for you.
1627
01:20:27,696 --> 01:20:29,830
- Love ya.
- Bye. Love you.
1628
01:20:29,863 --> 01:20:32,499
- Hey, Steiner. Ugh. Wait up.
- Hey.
1629
01:20:32,534 --> 01:20:34,868
- What you up to?
- I'm just headed to class.
1630
01:20:34,902 --> 01:20:37,706
- Oh, my God, it's spreading.
- What?
1631
01:20:37,739 --> 01:20:39,541
Ah, no. Not important.
1632
01:20:40,207 --> 01:20:43,043
I just, um, you know,
I haven't seen you in a while.
1633
01:20:43,077 --> 01:20:45,079
Wanted to make sure
everything's okay.
1634
01:20:45,112 --> 01:20:47,314
Yeah, yeah, I just, um,
I've been busy
1635
01:20:47,348 --> 01:20:49,383
with the other pledges
and Lindsay, and it's just...
1636
01:20:49,416 --> 01:20:52,119
Ah, trading us in
for a younger model.
1637
01:20:52,152 --> 01:20:54,288
What? No, no, no, no,
not at all. I, I...
1638
01:20:54,321 --> 01:20:56,357
I'm just fucking with you,
Steiner. It's all good.
1639
01:20:56,390 --> 01:20:58,425
- [relieved sigh]
- I think it's great.
1640
01:20:58,459 --> 01:20:59,694
Lindsay's great.
1641
01:21:00,294 --> 01:21:03,063
But, hey,
I'm still gonna see you
at Tequila Sunrise, right?
1642
01:21:03,097 --> 01:21:04,766
- Yeah, of course.
- Okay. Well, then I'll--
1643
01:21:04,799 --> 01:21:06,735
I'll just let you
get to class.
1644
01:21:06,768 --> 01:21:08,035
Where are you off to?
1645
01:21:08,570 --> 01:21:11,539
I, uh, I have a little
homework situation myself.
1646
01:21:11,573 --> 01:21:14,208
- Oh, well,
I'll catch you later.
- Okay.
1647
01:21:16,544 --> 01:21:17,579
Oh.
1648
01:21:18,713 --> 01:21:20,114
[exhales]
1649
01:21:29,289 --> 01:21:32,292
[woman] Mm. I know
we're coming down
this weekend with Mom and Dad,
1650
01:21:32,326 --> 01:21:34,928
but when I found out
my little baby brother
was in the city...
1651
01:21:34,962 --> 01:21:37,498
[laughs] I just knew I had
to get some real food in ya.
1652
01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:40,100
[clears throat, smacks lips]
1653
01:21:40,134 --> 01:21:41,636
Well, you are really
digging into that.
1654
01:21:41,669 --> 01:21:43,705
[laughs]
I guess they don't have
1655
01:21:43,738 --> 01:21:45,305
any rib eyes on campus, huh?
1656
01:21:45,774 --> 01:21:49,209
I mean, dining hall's
pretty much
a Hometown Buffet, so...
1657
01:21:49,243 --> 01:21:52,346
Gross. Oh, anyhoo,
how was the interview?
1658
01:21:52,379 --> 01:21:57,351
Ugh, I know Dad is so excited
to have you interning
at the firm this summer.
1659
01:21:57,384 --> 01:22:00,287
It was great.
A lot of talent over there,
though. I'll tell you what.
1660
01:22:00,320 --> 01:22:02,956
It'll be a good summer
for the Stu man,
if you know what I'm saying.
1661
01:22:02,990 --> 01:22:06,628
- Oh, yeah, I get that.
- [slurping]
1662
01:22:06,661 --> 01:22:08,162
[sighs]
1663
01:22:12,166 --> 01:22:14,569
- Goddammit.
- Ugh. I know.
1664
01:22:15,169 --> 01:22:16,970
- The service here is abysmal.
- [glass clinks]
1665
01:22:17,004 --> 01:22:19,039
- Excuse me.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
1666
01:22:19,072 --> 01:22:21,543
Just a bitch
I go to school with.
1667
01:22:22,109 --> 01:22:24,278
I'm just not sure I like you
actually using that--
1668
01:22:25,946 --> 01:22:27,314
That bitch?
1669
01:22:28,048 --> 01:22:29,283
Molly Singer.
1670
01:22:29,950 --> 01:22:31,318
No, Molly Sutter.
1671
01:22:32,854 --> 01:22:35,590
- Singer.
- No. Sutter.
1672
01:22:35,623 --> 01:22:37,659
- Singer.
- No. Sutter.
1673
01:22:37,692 --> 01:22:39,326
- Singer!
- Sutter!
1674
01:22:39,359 --> 01:22:42,262
That girl sitting at the bar
right now is Molly Singer.
1675
01:22:42,296 --> 01:22:44,431
I went to school with her.
She made my life a living hell.
1676
01:22:45,533 --> 01:22:48,636
That girl right there
is Molly Sutter.
1677
01:22:48,670 --> 01:22:50,572
I go to school with her.
1678
01:22:51,038 --> 01:22:53,273
She's friends
with this asshole Asian,
1679
01:22:53,307 --> 01:22:56,109
shows up at every single
fucking frat party I have.
1680
01:22:56,143 --> 01:22:57,679
- Must think he's--
- Paulie.
1681
01:23:00,113 --> 01:23:01,883
Come on. We're leaving.
1682
01:23:01,916 --> 01:23:05,486
Something smells rotten here.
1683
01:23:05,520 --> 01:23:06,855
And it is not the fish.
1684
01:23:06,888 --> 01:23:08,388
Wait a minute.
Can I just finish my steak?
1685
01:23:08,422 --> 01:23:09,389
Stuart!
1686
01:23:11,391 --> 01:23:15,763
Oh, gotta admit,
you really changed
my opinion of you, Molly.
1687
01:23:16,631 --> 01:23:17,599
Really?
1688
01:23:18,465 --> 01:23:19,433
Yeah.
1689
01:23:19,934 --> 01:23:21,736
We lost so much money
on Pebblebrook,
1690
01:23:21,769 --> 01:23:23,638
I had to lay people off.
1691
01:23:23,671 --> 01:23:24,772
Jesus.
1692
01:23:24,806 --> 01:23:26,139
Yeah, well,
it was just Nelson.
1693
01:23:26,173 --> 01:23:28,108
Oh, well,
that I could see.
1694
01:23:29,243 --> 01:23:31,245
So, Elliot.
Tell me everything.
1695
01:23:31,278 --> 01:23:33,748
Every little detail
gets you closer
to being rehired.
1696
01:23:33,781 --> 01:23:36,049
Oh, uh, Elliot.
1697
01:23:36,083 --> 01:23:38,285
Well, he's nice as hell.
A little too nice.
1698
01:23:38,318 --> 01:23:40,053
We've been working on that.
1699
01:23:40,087 --> 01:23:43,223
And he, uh,
overanalyzes everything.
1700
01:23:44,124 --> 01:23:46,828
But when he takes
a leap on something,
he really commits.
1701
01:23:46,861 --> 01:23:49,329
You know,
and I feel like he's walking
this perfect tightrope
1702
01:23:49,363 --> 01:23:52,199
of having the world
chew him up
and spit him out
1703
01:23:52,232 --> 01:23:54,702
or single-handedly
changing it
for the better.
1704
01:23:57,572 --> 01:23:58,773
That was Carl.
1705
01:24:00,307 --> 01:24:03,410
You know, I used
to think naivete
was a-- a flaw.
1706
01:24:04,879 --> 01:24:06,146
I saw it in Elliot.
1707
01:24:07,015 --> 01:24:11,151
I think that's why I acted like
such as tiger mom on steroids.
1708
01:24:11,184 --> 01:24:14,121
I just wanted to protect him
from it all, you know?
1709
01:24:15,455 --> 01:24:17,959
Well, take it from someone
who has met and dated
1710
01:24:17,992 --> 01:24:20,494
every shithead
this planet has to offer.
1711
01:24:21,729 --> 01:24:23,297
He's a really good kid.
1712
01:24:24,032 --> 01:24:25,767
And you should be proud.
1713
01:24:27,100 --> 01:24:28,402
You both should.
1714
01:24:30,738 --> 01:24:34,576
Anyway, um, I was thinking
after Homecoming this weekend,
1715
01:24:34,609 --> 01:24:39,179
you could come back and,
you know, start generating
some billable hours.
1716
01:24:39,212 --> 01:24:42,951
I've got a really messy divorce
with a 200-page prenup
1717
01:24:42,984 --> 01:24:44,552
that's got your name
all over it.
1718
01:24:44,586 --> 01:24:47,354
- [breathes heavily] Oh...
- So...
1719
01:24:47,387 --> 01:24:50,090
- To Molly Singer.
- Okay.
1720
01:24:50,725 --> 01:24:53,327
I hope your second time
around was fun.
1721
01:24:53,360 --> 01:24:55,362
And welcome back to reality.
1722
01:25:18,853 --> 01:25:20,253
Are you sure
we can trust these guys?
1723
01:25:20,287 --> 01:25:21,789
Yes, these are my boys.
1724
01:25:21,823 --> 01:25:23,992
- We're gonna fuck shit up.
Right, guys?
- Right.
1725
01:25:24,025 --> 01:25:25,325
- Yeah. Yup.
- Yeah.
1726
01:25:25,359 --> 01:25:27,227
Does anyone have to make
before we leave?
1727
01:25:27,260 --> 01:25:29,329
- No, we're good. Let's go.
- Okay.
1728
01:25:29,363 --> 01:25:31,666
- [engine starts]
- [mumbling]
1729
01:25:36,104 --> 01:25:37,605
Goddammit, Chaz.
1730
01:25:54,989 --> 01:25:56,423
[sighs]
1731
01:25:59,961 --> 01:26:01,529
[Paulie] Yo, yo.
1732
01:26:01,562 --> 01:26:04,732
- Yo.
- Oh, sweet. Beers.
1733
01:26:05,332 --> 01:26:07,535
- Yeah, I got you.
- Perfect.
1734
01:26:08,502 --> 01:26:09,469
[groans]
1735
01:26:10,872 --> 01:26:14,142
A little, uh,
memory lane action?
What brings these out?
1736
01:26:14,174 --> 01:26:16,811
I, uh, went
to the old apartment
in town today.
1737
01:26:16,844 --> 01:26:20,581
Ah. Got me feeling
a little nostalgic, I guess.
1738
01:26:20,615 --> 01:26:22,416
Well, how very
Homecoming of you.
1739
01:26:22,449 --> 01:26:24,418
- Mm.
- [smacks lips]
1740
01:26:24,451 --> 01:26:27,789
So as someone
who has done it
all over again,
1741
01:26:27,822 --> 01:26:28,856
how's it going?
1742
01:26:30,024 --> 01:26:32,492
Mm. I don't know.
Kind of the same.
1743
01:26:32,527 --> 01:26:34,529
I guess I just have
a lot of, uh,
1744
01:26:35,328 --> 01:26:38,032
you know, questions
and no answers.
1745
01:26:38,633 --> 01:26:40,668
You wanna know what I learned
this time around?
1746
01:26:40,702 --> 01:26:41,903
Mm. What?
1747
01:26:42,502 --> 01:26:45,807
Pride is a double-edged sword.
1748
01:26:45,840 --> 01:26:48,743
Right? You're always
on my case about
that foolish pride of mine.
1749
01:26:48,776 --> 01:26:52,647
Well, Miss Nostalgia,
let's talk about pride, pride.
1750
01:26:53,114 --> 01:26:55,116
Remember that first parade
we went to?
1751
01:26:55,149 --> 01:26:58,920
Oh, that weekend.
I think we murdered
a few good brain cells.
1752
01:26:58,953 --> 01:27:01,622
Oh, yeah. That's what pride's
all about. Right?
1753
01:27:01,656 --> 01:27:03,791
It's about celebrating
your authentic self
1754
01:27:03,825 --> 01:27:06,127
and twinks in Speedos
and the rainbow floats
1755
01:27:06,160 --> 01:27:07,729
- and dikes on bikes.
- [laughs]
1756
01:27:07,762 --> 01:27:09,530
And that's fun to do,
like, one weekend a year,
1757
01:27:09,564 --> 01:27:12,033
but then there are those queens
who do it all the time.
1758
01:27:12,834 --> 01:27:16,336
It's not about
the celebration anymore.
It's about chasing the high
1759
01:27:16,369 --> 01:27:19,173
and they forget what pride
was for in the first place.
1760
01:27:19,207 --> 01:27:20,575
And the next thing
you know, you're 52,
1761
01:27:20,608 --> 01:27:22,577
you got skin of leather,
you're addicted to meth,
1762
01:27:22,610 --> 01:27:25,445
you're sitting at a bus stop
with your jock strap
all hanging out
1763
01:27:25,479 --> 01:27:27,115
and you're talking
to some imaginary friend.
1764
01:27:27,148 --> 01:27:28,750
I'm sorry, is this story
going somewhere?
1765
01:27:28,783 --> 01:27:30,017
Yeah. Just... [chuckles]
1766
01:27:30,651 --> 01:27:32,854
Don't be the old queen, Molly.
1767
01:27:35,523 --> 01:27:38,325
Just don't lose sight
of the road ahead.
1768
01:27:39,160 --> 01:27:42,295
- [inhales deeply] Mm.
- [sighs]
1769
01:27:42,830 --> 01:27:44,899
Speaking of which,
what's up with the kid?
1770
01:27:44,932 --> 01:27:46,299
What do you mean?
1771
01:27:47,467 --> 01:27:49,704
The longer this thing goes on,
1772
01:27:49,737 --> 01:27:51,438
the worse it's gonna be
when he finds out.
1773
01:27:51,471 --> 01:27:52,974
I was kind of just hoping
I could disappear
1774
01:27:53,007 --> 01:27:55,910
and not mention the whole
Brenda hiring me thing.
1775
01:27:55,943 --> 01:27:57,344
[sighs]
1776
01:27:58,579 --> 01:28:02,550
Should I just give you
the meth dealer's
number now, or...
1777
01:28:02,583 --> 01:28:03,651
[sighs]
1778
01:28:05,119 --> 01:28:07,320
Hey, I love you, kid.
1779
01:28:08,156 --> 01:28:09,456
I do.
1780
01:28:10,091 --> 01:28:11,726
- Love you.
- [sighs]
1781
01:28:13,326 --> 01:28:15,530
I will see you
in a few hours.
1782
01:28:16,329 --> 01:28:19,299
I'm gonna go to bed
with this guy.
1783
01:28:19,332 --> 01:28:20,902
Mm. Nice guy.
1784
01:28:20,935 --> 01:28:22,870
- Good night.
- [chuckles]
1785
01:28:25,640 --> 01:28:26,674
[exhales]
1786
01:28:33,080 --> 01:28:34,982
♪
1787
01:28:48,029 --> 01:28:50,064
[coach] Five, six, seven, eight.
1788
01:28:50,097 --> 01:28:51,766
One, two, three, four.
1789
01:28:51,799 --> 01:28:53,935
- Go Condors! Go!
- [cheerleaders] Go!
1790
01:28:55,002 --> 01:28:55,970
Five.
1791
01:28:56,804 --> 01:28:57,772
Win!
1792
01:28:58,338 --> 01:28:59,807
Go, five, win!
1793
01:28:59,841 --> 01:29:01,976
- Yes!
- [cheering]
1794
01:29:02,009 --> 01:29:03,443
Nice! Great work, guys.
1795
01:29:03,476 --> 01:29:04,946
Heather, way to stick
that landing.
1796
01:29:04,979 --> 01:29:07,181
Sully, I need you sliding in
a little sooner, okay?
1797
01:29:07,215 --> 01:29:10,417
Guys, get some rest.
The bus leaves
at 10 a.m. tomorrow.
1798
01:29:10,450 --> 01:29:13,020
Awesome job! Great job.
1799
01:29:14,121 --> 01:29:16,858
- Jeff, do not be late.
- Bye, guys.
1800
01:29:24,031 --> 01:29:26,499
[Sully] Hey, guys,
a little help with the, uh...
1801
01:29:28,102 --> 01:29:30,972
Okay. Fuck me, I guess, right?
1802
01:29:31,973 --> 01:29:32,940
Goddammit.
1803
01:29:36,443 --> 01:29:38,546
Goddammit!
1804
01:29:39,080 --> 01:29:40,413
[door opens]
1805
01:29:46,486 --> 01:29:47,855
[Sully] Hello?
1806
01:29:48,421 --> 01:29:50,691
[door opens, closes]
1807
01:29:53,194 --> 01:29:54,629
What the fuck?
1808
01:29:56,697 --> 01:29:59,000
What's with the masks, guys?
1809
01:30:03,237 --> 01:30:04,437
Oh, fuck.
1810
01:30:04,471 --> 01:30:07,909
["Eyes On This"
by Munnycat playing]
1811
01:30:07,942 --> 01:30:09,210
[Sully] Whoo! [grunts]
1812
01:30:09,677 --> 01:30:11,913
- Whoa!
- [Johnny grunts]
1813
01:30:13,514 --> 01:30:15,583
[Sully panting] Oh.
1814
01:30:15,616 --> 01:30:17,417
[Stu] Try that shit
on me, bitch.
1815
01:30:19,086 --> 01:30:20,788
- [clucks]
- [grunts]
1816
01:30:20,821 --> 01:30:22,990
- [clucks]
- [Stu] What the fuck was that?
1817
01:30:23,024 --> 01:30:26,727
[Sully] Thought these wings
were just for show, huh? Whoo!
1818
01:30:27,595 --> 01:30:29,496
- Oh, shit.
- [Chaz grunts]
1819
01:30:29,530 --> 01:30:31,799
[Sully] Ow! Ow.
1820
01:30:35,169 --> 01:30:36,203
Oh, my God.
1821
01:30:37,204 --> 01:30:39,740
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1822
01:30:39,774 --> 01:30:41,142
- What the fuck did you do?
- [Sully groans]
1823
01:30:42,475 --> 01:30:45,379
[Stu] Grab him!
Get him. Come on!
1824
01:30:45,413 --> 01:30:47,515
Just grab him! Get him!
1825
01:30:47,548 --> 01:30:49,583
Get him, get him, get him!
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1826
01:30:49,617 --> 01:30:51,585
- [bangs, thuds]
- Ow!
1827
01:30:58,259 --> 01:31:00,493
Fuck. Did we kill him?
1828
01:31:00,528 --> 01:31:02,763
[Stu] What do you
mean "we"? You.
1829
01:31:02,797 --> 01:31:04,966
Where the fuck did you get
a golf club anyway?
1830
01:31:05,700 --> 01:31:07,034
It was in the back of the car.
1831
01:31:10,404 --> 01:31:14,608
[sighs] Alright,
you guys grab his legs,
I got his beak. Let's go.
1832
01:31:17,712 --> 01:31:20,948
["It's Like Whoa!"
by Lady Bri playing]
1833
01:32:07,795 --> 01:32:09,096
[Greg] I got the arm.
1834
01:32:10,064 --> 01:32:12,166
- [Stu] Chaz, get a hold of him.
- [Chaz] I got him. I got him.
1835
01:32:12,199 --> 01:32:15,536
You better pray
this fucking asshat
wakes up. Come on!
1836
01:32:15,569 --> 01:32:17,705
- You guys go first. Let's go.
- [Greg] Alright.
1837
01:32:21,542 --> 01:32:22,643
[Trina grunts]
1838
01:32:22,676 --> 01:32:24,879
He smells like death. [coughs]
1839
01:32:24,912 --> 01:32:26,981
Yeah, well, look
where I'm standing.
1840
01:32:35,756 --> 01:32:37,892
Oh, you've got it bad, huh?
1841
01:32:38,626 --> 01:32:41,762
- She's pretty amazing, huh?
- [Molly chuckles] Yeah.
1842
01:32:42,596 --> 01:32:46,300
Listen, um, I wanted
to tell you something
1843
01:32:46,333 --> 01:32:48,069
- for a while.
- What?
1844
01:32:48,769 --> 01:32:51,205
Uh, I just wanted
to say thank you.
1845
01:32:51,906 --> 01:32:54,008
Meeting you and Paulie
has been...
1846
01:32:55,544 --> 01:32:57,311
the best thing that's
ever happened to me.
1847
01:32:58,479 --> 01:33:00,581
- It means the world. Thank you.
- Mm.
1848
01:33:02,283 --> 01:33:03,884
Yeah, you know, um...
1849
01:33:05,052 --> 01:33:06,620
Elliot, I, uh...
1850
01:33:09,256 --> 01:33:10,791
I just-- I think you're...
1851
01:33:11,492 --> 01:33:12,893
You're a good egg.
1852
01:33:14,028 --> 01:33:15,229
One of the best.
1853
01:33:17,832 --> 01:33:20,501
Why don't you get out there?
She's waiting on you.
1854
01:33:20,535 --> 01:33:24,004
- Alright.
- Yeah, get to dancing.
1855
01:33:28,442 --> 01:33:30,010
[sighs]
1856
01:33:33,814 --> 01:33:36,050
See you flip out of that,
bird bitch.
1857
01:33:41,689 --> 01:33:44,992
[Sully] Look, I don't know
what you want.
1858
01:33:46,160 --> 01:33:49,797
If this is for ransom,
my parents aren't rich.
1859
01:33:51,098 --> 01:33:54,335
If-- if this is for some
furry fetish thing,
1860
01:33:55,102 --> 01:33:58,205
at least give me some drugs
so I don't remember.
1861
01:34:01,775 --> 01:34:03,377
- What is this?
- Do your job, Stu--
1862
01:34:03,410 --> 01:34:04,812
Elliot. [clears throat]
1863
01:34:06,013 --> 01:34:08,449
"Oh, man, I can't believe
we got away with this,
Molly Singer."
1864
01:34:08,482 --> 01:34:10,585
"I know it, Elliot Steiner."
1865
01:34:11,285 --> 01:34:13,387
[Sully] Why are you using
your full names?
1866
01:34:14,188 --> 01:34:16,857
We're Scientologist. Okay.
Like I said, "Elliott Steiner.
1867
01:34:16,891 --> 01:34:19,360
This will totally show
those Hill--" [clears throat]
1868
01:34:19,393 --> 01:34:21,996
"...Hell-hurst assholes
1869
01:34:22,029 --> 01:34:25,499
that you and your Ki Mu brothers
rule campus."
1870
01:34:25,534 --> 01:34:27,602
- Go Badgers!
- Go Badgers!
1871
01:34:28,269 --> 01:34:31,472
[Sully] Wait, this--
this is a Homecoming prank?
1872
01:34:31,505 --> 01:34:34,643
[laughs] What is this? 1969?
1873
01:34:34,675 --> 01:34:39,480
I'm gonna sue
the shit out of you,
uh, Elliot Steiner, and, and--
1874
01:34:39,514 --> 01:34:42,617
- What-- what's your name?
- Molly Singer. Molly Singer.
1875
01:34:42,651 --> 01:34:44,485
- Her name's Molly Singer.
- Molly Singer.
1876
01:34:44,519 --> 01:34:47,988
- Molly Singer! Fuck off!
- You have a good day, sir.
1877
01:34:48,022 --> 01:34:50,257
[Sully] I'm gonna
fucking kill you!
1878
01:34:50,291 --> 01:34:51,258
[groans]
1879
01:34:51,292 --> 01:34:53,027
You're both so screwed!
1880
01:34:57,566 --> 01:34:58,999
[clucks]
1881
01:35:00,635 --> 01:35:02,336
[engine starts]
1882
01:35:03,337 --> 01:35:06,207
- [Chaz] Hey, hey, hey, Stu!
- Go, go, go! Go, come on!
1883
01:35:14,248 --> 01:35:17,318
[Molly] Guys, I think Paulie
was line dancing when we left.
1884
01:35:17,351 --> 01:35:19,186
- [laughter]
- [phone buzzing]
1885
01:35:20,487 --> 01:35:21,488
[Lindsay] Hello?
1886
01:35:22,624 --> 01:35:24,158
Wait. Where are you?
1887
01:35:24,825 --> 01:35:27,194
Okay, uh, no, it-- it's fine.
I'll be right there.
1888
01:35:28,162 --> 01:35:30,632
I gotta go. My roommate
got locked out again
1889
01:35:30,665 --> 01:35:33,867
and the RAs refused
to let her in because
she keeps losing her key.
1890
01:35:33,901 --> 01:35:36,003
- Do you want me to go with you?
- No, it's fine.
1891
01:35:36,036 --> 01:35:37,871
I'm gonna crash
for a couple hours anyways,
1892
01:35:37,905 --> 01:35:40,140
but we should walk over
to the game together.
1893
01:35:40,174 --> 01:35:41,442
Sounds good to me.
1894
01:35:41,942 --> 01:35:43,477
- I had a really good time.
- Me too.
1895
01:35:45,813 --> 01:35:48,282
- See you, Mol.
- [Molly] Later, Linds.
1896
01:35:49,416 --> 01:35:50,851
Whoo-hoo-hoo.
1897
01:35:52,086 --> 01:35:54,922
Steiner, smooth
looks good on you.
1898
01:35:55,389 --> 01:35:57,891
What the fuck?
1899
01:35:58,560 --> 01:35:59,960
[Sully] Hello?
1900
01:35:59,994 --> 01:36:01,061
Uh...
1901
01:36:01,630 --> 01:36:02,896
Hello?
1902
01:36:02,930 --> 01:36:05,399
[Sully] Get me
the fuck out of here!
1903
01:36:05,432 --> 01:36:07,768
Right here,
I'm right here.
1904
01:36:07,801 --> 01:36:09,537
What's that smell?
1905
01:36:09,571 --> 01:36:11,171
[Sully] It's me, okay, asshole!
1906
01:36:11,205 --> 01:36:14,609
I had four Gatorades
and I've been locked
in this suit all night.
1907
01:36:14,643 --> 01:36:17,512
- [siren wailing]
- [tires screeching]
1908
01:36:24,753 --> 01:36:28,155
Well, I'm just gonna grab
that head, okay?
1909
01:36:28,188 --> 01:36:30,057
- Coming in.
- [Sully] Yup. Easy.
1910
01:36:30,090 --> 01:36:32,126
- Easy. Easy with--
- [grunts]
1911
01:36:32,159 --> 01:36:34,562
- [groans] My ear!
- Sorry!
1912
01:36:35,296 --> 01:36:36,731
[Sully coughs]
1913
01:36:36,765 --> 01:36:39,133
I'm gonna sue you!
1914
01:36:39,734 --> 01:36:44,138
And you too.
Are you fucking insane?
We're not even good at sports!
1915
01:36:44,706 --> 01:36:47,308
- My-- my dad's brother.
- Your uncle?
1916
01:36:47,341 --> 01:36:51,145
Yes. My uncle.
He's a fucking lawyer.
1917
01:36:51,178 --> 01:36:52,179
Hmm.
1918
01:36:52,212 --> 01:36:54,716
He's gonna eat your assholes
for breakfast.
1919
01:36:54,749 --> 01:36:56,651
- [grunts]
- [groans]
1920
01:36:56,685 --> 01:36:57,818
- Okay.
- All up in there.
1921
01:36:57,851 --> 01:36:59,987
I think we should, uh,
get you out of here.
1922
01:37:00,020 --> 01:37:01,989
- I'm just gonna, uh... Okay.
- [Sully] Analingus.
1923
01:37:02,022 --> 01:37:03,558
[Molly] Undo you.
1924
01:37:03,591 --> 01:37:05,926
- What the...
What is going on here?
- [door slams]
1925
01:37:05,959 --> 01:37:08,062
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Freeze, freeze, freeze!
1926
01:37:08,962 --> 01:37:10,831
- Elliot Steiner.
- Me?
1927
01:37:10,864 --> 01:37:12,634
- [officer 1] Molly Singer?
- Yes?
1928
01:37:12,667 --> 01:37:15,537
That's Molly Singer.
That's the psychopath
that kidnapped me.
1929
01:37:15,570 --> 01:37:16,937
Wait, what?
1930
01:37:18,540 --> 01:37:19,907
Who's Molly Singer?
1931
01:37:31,018 --> 01:37:33,153
Are you ever gonna
talk to me again?
1932
01:37:37,826 --> 01:37:41,328
Okay, fair enough.
I deserve that.
1933
01:37:42,764 --> 01:37:44,666
[hisses]
1934
01:37:45,499 --> 01:37:47,635
You gonna eat that sandwich
they give you?
1935
01:37:47,669 --> 01:37:49,103
I didn't get a sandwich.
1936
01:37:49,838 --> 01:37:51,639
Oh, you will. You will.
1937
01:37:51,673 --> 01:37:54,609
- And when you do...
- Yeah, yeah, it's all yours.
1938
01:37:54,642 --> 01:37:56,511
Fuck, yeah!
You're my guy.
1939
01:37:58,212 --> 01:38:00,214
You meet the nicest
people in jail.
1940
01:38:00,247 --> 01:38:03,384
[mumbling]
Ooh, yeah. Oh, oh...
1941
01:38:04,918 --> 01:38:06,855
- [slight chuckle]
- Were you ever gonna tell me
1942
01:38:06,887 --> 01:38:08,389
that you're working
for my mom?
1943
01:38:10,692 --> 01:38:13,494
Honestly, I...
I don't know. I had no...
1944
01:38:14,796 --> 01:38:16,497
No exit strategy.
1945
01:38:17,766 --> 01:38:23,203
I just thought I'd--
I'd meet you,
pump a few beers in you and--
1946
01:38:23,237 --> 01:38:26,340
Beers? Hey, now we're talking.
1947
01:38:26,373 --> 01:38:27,908
- Oh, I-- I'm just gonna...
- You like beer?
1948
01:38:27,941 --> 01:38:31,044
I had an IPA the other day
called a Crunchy Rooster.
1949
01:38:34,582 --> 01:38:39,086
My entire blueprint
for this whole plan
was like weird science,
1950
01:38:39,119 --> 01:38:41,455
for Christ's sake,
but I didn't...
1951
01:38:42,022 --> 01:38:43,625
- [sighs]
- But?
1952
01:38:43,658 --> 01:38:44,726
But...
1953
01:38:45,392 --> 01:38:47,127
I didn't realize
how much I'd like you
1954
01:38:47,161 --> 01:38:49,096
and-- and what great friends
we'd be, you know?
1955
01:38:49,129 --> 01:38:51,465
Friends? Friends.
1956
01:38:51,498 --> 01:38:53,568
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1957
01:38:53,601 --> 01:38:56,771
[officer] Steiner, Elliot M.
1958
01:38:56,805 --> 01:38:58,338
- Oh.
- That's me.
1959
01:38:58,840 --> 01:39:00,675
[officer] You made bail.
Let's go.
1960
01:39:00,708 --> 01:39:02,677
Hey, that's great, right?
1961
01:39:04,178 --> 01:39:07,347
You know, I thought
we'd be friends too.
1962
01:39:09,283 --> 01:39:13,987
Steiner, come on--
Okay, I guess
I didn't make bail.
1963
01:39:14,021 --> 01:39:16,056
You can't make bail
till Monday. [laughs]
1964
01:39:16,089 --> 01:39:18,593
You're a lawyer.
You should know that.
1965
01:39:20,093 --> 01:39:21,328
What about him?
1966
01:39:21,361 --> 01:39:23,565
Looks like he had
a better lawyer than you.
1967
01:39:25,600 --> 01:39:26,634
[sighs]
1968
01:39:28,202 --> 01:39:31,038
Oh, thank God. Finally.
Are you okay?
1969
01:39:31,972 --> 01:39:34,576
Hey, Elliot,
where are you going?
1970
01:39:34,609 --> 01:39:37,110
Goddammit. This is not
a walk away scenario.
1971
01:39:37,144 --> 01:39:39,046
Stop it! I don't have
the shoes to chase you.
1972
01:39:39,079 --> 01:39:40,981
What do you want from me?
1973
01:39:41,014 --> 01:39:42,983
No. Uh-uh.
1974
01:39:43,016 --> 01:39:45,419
You do not get to have
an attitude with me.
1975
01:39:45,452 --> 01:39:48,322
I am not the one
that went out and got drunk
at five in the morning
1976
01:39:48,355 --> 01:39:50,625
and then went and kidnapped
a goddamn eagle.
1977
01:39:50,658 --> 01:39:51,793
It was a condor.
1978
01:39:51,826 --> 01:39:53,795
Who the fuck cares
what it was?!
1979
01:39:53,828 --> 01:39:57,331
You literally hired
some chick from your office
to infiltrate my school,
1980
01:39:57,364 --> 01:40:00,300
pretend to be my best friend
and spy on me.
1981
01:40:02,135 --> 01:40:03,738
That is an excellent point.
1982
01:40:04,973 --> 01:40:06,541
- Jesus Christ.
- But--
1983
01:40:06,574 --> 01:40:07,709
Where are you going?
1984
01:40:07,742 --> 01:40:08,810
To my dorm room.
1985
01:40:08,843 --> 01:40:10,410
That is until they expel me.
1986
01:40:14,549 --> 01:40:15,583
Damn it.
1987
01:40:16,250 --> 01:40:18,553
["Pink Pills"
by Floyd Wonder playing]
1988
01:40:22,590 --> 01:40:23,625
What do you think?
1989
01:40:24,291 --> 01:40:27,060
Too veiny or not veiny enough?
1990
01:40:27,094 --> 01:40:29,597
I mean, some people
like a veiny ding-dong.
1991
01:40:30,464 --> 01:40:34,636
Alright, Dick-casso.
I'm gonna need you,
like, five feet over there.
1992
01:40:36,938 --> 01:40:39,541
["Pink Pills" playing continues]
1993
01:40:52,520 --> 01:40:55,255
[officer] Alright, Singer,
you just made bail.
1994
01:40:57,725 --> 01:40:59,226
Thank you for bailing me out.
1995
01:40:59,259 --> 01:41:01,428
Oh, thank your platinum card.
So now what?
1996
01:41:01,461 --> 01:41:03,965
Well, I have to get dressed
for court this morning
1997
01:41:03,998 --> 01:41:05,399
to defend myself
in a kidnapping charge
1998
01:41:05,432 --> 01:41:08,402
and I need you
to help figure out
who the hell set us up.
1999
01:41:08,435 --> 01:41:09,904
Hmm. That's a tough one, Singer.
2000
01:41:09,938 --> 01:41:12,607
Whose cornflakes have we been
squatting into all semester?
2001
01:41:14,542 --> 01:41:16,343
Fucking Stu.
2002
01:41:16,811 --> 01:41:18,846
- There she is.
- Huh.
2003
01:41:21,415 --> 01:41:24,418
[revving]
2004
01:41:30,123 --> 01:41:31,693
[door opens]
2005
01:41:32,827 --> 01:41:35,362
Hi. Hello. Hi.
2006
01:41:36,496 --> 01:41:37,532
[clears throat]
2007
01:41:40,802 --> 01:41:43,538
- I'm gonna fucking kill you.
- Yeah, we didn't do anything.
2008
01:41:43,571 --> 01:41:45,339
Oh, you think
I don't know that?
2009
01:41:46,173 --> 01:41:48,408
Doesn't matter.
You can't prove any of it.
2010
01:41:49,109 --> 01:41:51,012
You got my son
in this frigging mess.
2011
01:41:51,045 --> 01:41:53,681
Yeah, I know.
I'm gonna just...
2012
01:41:53,715 --> 01:41:55,315
[bailiff] All rise.
2013
01:41:56,116 --> 01:41:59,219
The Honorable
Raymond Palmer presiding.
2014
01:42:02,790 --> 01:42:03,825
Be seated.
2015
01:42:04,959 --> 01:42:06,393
Look at this good-looking group.
2016
01:42:06,426 --> 01:42:09,097
Alright. What do we have
this morning?
2017
01:42:10,064 --> 01:42:14,201
Mr. Elliott Steiner
and Miss Molly Singer,
are you present today?
2018
01:42:15,069 --> 01:42:16,938
- Yes, Your Honor.
- Yes, Your Honor.
2019
01:42:16,971 --> 01:42:18,405
Good start. Okay.
2020
01:42:18,438 --> 01:42:20,173
You two are accused
of kidnapping
2021
01:42:20,207 --> 01:42:22,442
one Mr. Sully Moran,
a human being,
2022
01:42:22,476 --> 01:42:26,380
and it says here,
the Fighting Condor mascot
2023
01:42:26,413 --> 01:42:30,885
from Hillhurst University.
Are you kidding me?
2024
01:42:32,987 --> 01:42:33,955
Mike.
2025
01:42:34,522 --> 01:42:36,490
- Yes, Judge.
- Yeah. Can we call
the law clerk,
2026
01:42:36,524 --> 01:42:38,225
make sure these
are not the type of cases
2027
01:42:38,258 --> 01:42:40,227
- we start a Monday with?
- Okay.
2028
01:42:40,260 --> 01:42:41,963
Yeah. It really feels like, uh,
2029
01:42:41,996 --> 01:42:45,232
mascot kidnapping
is a Tuesday afternoon
sort of case.
2030
01:42:45,265 --> 01:42:47,035
- Okay.
- Great.
2031
01:42:47,068 --> 01:42:49,003
How do you two plead?
2032
01:42:49,037 --> 01:42:51,572
Your Honor, may I make
a brief statement?
2033
01:42:51,606 --> 01:42:56,243
For the sake of throwing
all points of law
out the window? No.
2034
01:42:56,276 --> 01:42:58,211
- What are you doing?
- Ooh, here she comes.
2035
01:42:58,245 --> 01:43:03,316
Your Honor, I realize
this is just a plea hearing,
but I plead with you.
2036
01:43:04,018 --> 01:43:05,887
Please listen to me
for a moment.
2037
01:43:06,587 --> 01:43:09,289
Though I can categorically deny
any involvement
2038
01:43:09,322 --> 01:43:12,794
in the kidnapping
of a stuffed condor,
I implore you,
2039
01:43:13,460 --> 01:43:16,463
Mr. Steiner had absolutely
nothing to do with it.
2040
01:43:16,496 --> 01:43:20,768
Any punishment should be
directed solely on myself
as I was acting as his guardian,
2041
01:43:20,802 --> 01:43:24,237
and any actions taken by him
would have been done
under my direction.
2042
01:43:24,271 --> 01:43:28,076
So I moved that all charges
be dropped for Mr. Steiner
and directed to me.
2043
01:43:28,109 --> 01:43:29,276
Myself.
2044
01:43:29,911 --> 01:43:30,878
I.
2045
01:43:32,046 --> 01:43:34,749
Wow, Mike. [exhales]
2046
01:43:34,782 --> 01:43:38,753
Ay-ay-ay, Miss Singer,
that was certainly
a gallant gesture on your part.
2047
01:43:38,786 --> 01:43:39,854
Thank you, Your Honor.
2048
01:43:39,887 --> 01:43:41,421
And absolutely devoid
2049
01:43:41,455 --> 01:43:43,758
of literally any semblance
of legal merit.
2050
01:43:43,791 --> 01:43:45,626
- [Stu chuckles]
- [judge] So... I'm sorry,
2051
01:43:45,660 --> 01:43:47,895
do we have something to add
from the gallery?
2052
01:43:48,696 --> 01:43:52,533
Uh, no, I'm sorry, Your Judge,
or, I mean, Your Honor.
2053
01:43:52,567 --> 01:43:53,400
I'm sorry.
2054
01:43:54,168 --> 01:43:57,538
[judge] Great. That being said,
Mr. Steiner, how do you plead?
2055
01:43:59,040 --> 01:44:00,474
Not guilty, Your Honor.
2056
01:44:00,508 --> 01:44:02,275
- [clears throat]
- Ms. Singer?
2057
01:44:02,309 --> 01:44:03,644
- Not guilty.
- Great.
2058
01:44:03,678 --> 01:44:07,414
Mr. Steiner, I see that
you have counsel present.
2059
01:44:07,447 --> 01:44:09,382
Um, Miss Singer,
where's your counsel?
2060
01:44:09,416 --> 01:44:11,719
I will be representing
myself, Your Honor.
2061
01:44:11,753 --> 01:44:15,823
Ms. Steiner, would you be
interested in a two-for-one?
2062
01:44:15,857 --> 01:44:18,192
Oh, no, no, I'm not.
2063
01:44:18,226 --> 01:44:19,627
Great. Then may I suggest
2064
01:44:19,660 --> 01:44:21,696
you take your shoe
and toss it out in the hallway?
2065
01:44:21,729 --> 01:44:23,798
And maybe you can clock
another lawyer
2066
01:44:23,831 --> 01:44:25,265
that can help you
with your case.
2067
01:44:25,298 --> 01:44:27,434
We're gonna take an hour recess
and press on.
2068
01:44:28,502 --> 01:44:30,270
[bailiff] All rise.
2069
01:44:37,879 --> 01:44:40,748
I know he's not
at the Ki Mu house
because the asshole is here
2070
01:44:40,782 --> 01:44:42,083
and he's with Poles.
2071
01:44:42,116 --> 01:44:44,384
Yes. I'm telling you,
these two are in it together.
2072
01:44:44,417 --> 01:44:46,721
Oh, my God. She's walking
up to me. Right now
would be a really good time
2073
01:44:46,754 --> 01:44:48,790
to find something,
Paulie. Gotta go.
2074
01:44:48,823 --> 01:44:52,059
Uh, Poles, what the hell
are you doing here?
2075
01:44:52,093 --> 01:44:54,095
- I have a case downstairs.
- Oh.
2076
01:44:54,128 --> 01:44:56,864
Mm. But I heard
about this and...
2077
01:44:57,665 --> 01:45:00,168
- Well, I had to see for myself.
- Yeah.
2078
01:45:00,201 --> 01:45:02,637
- And--
- And Stu, how did you two meet?
2079
01:45:02,670 --> 01:45:06,274
At a hate group convention
or is he just one
of your hand job pals?
2080
01:45:06,306 --> 01:45:08,308
[laughs] Hand job pals.
2081
01:45:09,143 --> 01:45:12,580
Oh, I guess you couldn't
even be bothered
to even remember my maiden name.
2082
01:45:12,613 --> 01:45:16,017
Even though we were
in the same pledge class.
I'll wait.
2083
01:45:17,919 --> 01:45:18,886
Gable?
2084
01:45:19,854 --> 01:45:22,990
And when I found out
you were making
my little brother's life
2085
01:45:23,024 --> 01:45:25,760
- as miserable
as you made mine...
- Hmm.
2086
01:45:26,493 --> 01:45:27,929
I knew I had to stop you.
2087
01:45:27,962 --> 01:45:31,999
So I'm gonna be there
when they march you into prison.
2088
01:45:33,768 --> 01:45:35,837
How do you like
those hand jobs?
2089
01:45:36,537 --> 01:45:38,773
It was worth the carpal tunnel.
[smacks lips]
2090
01:45:44,078 --> 01:45:46,814
Oh, come on, Paulie.
2091
01:45:47,882 --> 01:45:49,984
♪
2092
01:45:51,786 --> 01:45:53,621
Oh, God. Okay.
2093
01:45:55,488 --> 01:45:59,760
Think, Paulie.
There's gotta be something.
[groans]
2094
01:45:59,794 --> 01:46:01,629
If somebody else died here,
I'm so screwed.
2095
01:46:01,662 --> 01:46:03,798
- Relax, no one's dead. Okay?
- Cool.
2096
01:46:03,831 --> 01:46:06,667
Some prick kidnapped
the Hillhurst mascot
and is trying to frame Molly
2097
01:46:06,701 --> 01:46:08,368
and that Steiner kid
we've been hanging out with.
2098
01:46:08,401 --> 01:46:10,538
Ugh. Classic college bully move.
2099
01:46:10,571 --> 01:46:12,439
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
So I need something,
2100
01:46:12,472 --> 01:46:14,175
anything to keep my best friend
out of jail.
2101
01:46:14,208 --> 01:46:16,344
Oh, uh... Ugh.
2102
01:46:16,376 --> 01:46:18,378
[mumbling] Should I tell him?
Should I...
2103
01:46:18,411 --> 01:46:22,216
If, if I show you something,
2104
01:46:22,250 --> 01:46:24,986
you promise to keep it
top secret? Shh!
2105
01:46:25,686 --> 01:46:27,922
- Maybe.
- Walk this way.
2106
01:46:29,223 --> 01:46:30,390
Okay.
2107
01:46:31,826 --> 01:46:33,294
Where are you taking me?
I don't have time for this.
2108
01:46:33,327 --> 01:46:34,595
I need to find some evidence
that will...
2109
01:46:34,629 --> 01:46:36,797
- Trust me. It's worth it.
- ...break the case.
2110
01:46:36,831 --> 01:46:39,967
- Okay. But what are
we doing here?
- If I told you...
2111
01:46:45,773 --> 01:46:48,142
- I'm waiting.
- I'm waiting too.
2112
01:46:48,175 --> 01:46:49,777
- [thuds]
- Oh, come on.
2113
01:46:49,810 --> 01:46:50,845
Voila.
2114
01:46:52,346 --> 01:46:53,881
What the actual fuck?
2115
01:47:01,522 --> 01:47:03,090
What am I looking
at here, Scott?
2116
01:47:03,791 --> 01:47:07,828
Okay, okay. Before you think
that I'm a total creepy perv,
2117
01:47:07,862 --> 01:47:10,865
it's just a mustache
and some cameras.
2118
01:47:11,464 --> 01:47:14,869
So after the pole incident,
I got really paranoid.
2119
01:47:15,303 --> 01:47:17,004
So it started off
with one camera
2120
01:47:17,038 --> 01:47:21,609
and now we're looking at, uh,
six of these big boys.
2121
01:47:22,710 --> 01:47:26,580
You sick Sliver watching
motherfucker!
2122
01:47:26,614 --> 01:47:28,316
Please tell me
these things record.
2123
01:47:28,349 --> 01:47:30,184
- Fuck, yeah, they do.
- Sweet!
2124
01:47:30,217 --> 01:47:32,920
Again, not a perv.
Just paranoid.
2125
01:47:32,954 --> 01:47:34,487
- Most of the time. [coughs]
- Okay.
2126
01:47:34,522 --> 01:47:36,489
I occasionally come in here
and whack it.
2127
01:47:37,058 --> 01:47:38,592
Not often though.
2128
01:47:41,395 --> 01:47:42,663
[Molly] Can I sit?
2129
01:47:43,898 --> 01:47:44,932
Yeah, go ahead.
2130
01:47:47,268 --> 01:47:49,103
Alright.
2131
01:47:53,174 --> 01:47:54,742
[exhales]
2132
01:48:00,614 --> 01:48:02,016
So, how's Lindsay?
2133
01:48:03,184 --> 01:48:05,720
- She's good.
- Good.
2134
01:48:15,096 --> 01:48:19,467
You know, no matter how much
I-- I do wanna hate you,
2135
01:48:20,334 --> 01:48:27,208
I do realize that I would
have never had the courage
to talk to her again.
2136
01:48:27,875 --> 01:48:31,078
Really, the courage
to do anything.
2137
01:48:31,979 --> 01:48:35,950
So whether you were paid
or not to do it, thank you.
2138
01:48:37,184 --> 01:48:38,719
[chuckles]
2139
01:48:38,753 --> 01:48:42,023
Well, I think I should be
the one thanking you
2140
01:48:42,890 --> 01:48:44,759
'cause without you,
I never would have realized
2141
01:48:44,792 --> 01:48:48,229
that my best years
are yet to come.
2142
01:48:49,196 --> 01:48:50,731
Not just in my rearview.
2143
01:48:52,500 --> 01:48:54,602
But I'm really sorry
I didn't say anything.
2144
01:48:56,837 --> 01:48:58,439
We're gonna go
to fucking jail, aren't we?
2145
01:48:58,472 --> 01:49:00,307
[laughs, inhales]
2146
01:49:00,341 --> 01:49:03,911
No. No, we are not,
not going to jail.
2147
01:49:04,612 --> 01:49:06,480
Got my best guy on it.
2148
01:49:06,515 --> 01:49:08,315
[Paulie yelling distantly]
Molly Singer!
2149
01:49:08,783 --> 01:49:10,651
I swear to God, I didn't know
that was gonna happen.
2150
01:49:10,684 --> 01:49:13,721
Singer! Molly! [panting]
2151
01:49:13,754 --> 01:49:16,190
- Paulie?
- [grunts] Got it!
2152
01:49:19,260 --> 01:49:21,128
- Hmm. I guess
you got something.
- [panting]
2153
01:49:21,162 --> 01:49:24,131
- Yeah.
- Some information
we need or something?
2154
01:49:24,165 --> 01:49:25,699
- Are you okay?
- [grunts]
2155
01:49:25,733 --> 01:49:28,537
- Not okay.
- [wheezing]
2156
01:49:28,569 --> 01:49:30,371
And wheezing a lot.
2157
01:49:30,404 --> 01:49:35,810
- Uh...
- [mumbling]
2158
01:49:36,744 --> 01:49:39,313
Alright, so what am I
looking at here?
2159
01:49:39,346 --> 01:49:44,218
Your Honor, new evidence
has come to light that clears
my client and Miss Singer.
2160
01:49:44,251 --> 01:49:45,520
You didn't think
to lead with it?
2161
01:49:46,020 --> 01:49:49,790
Well, it just became
available to us
a few minutes ago, Your Honor.
2162
01:49:51,258 --> 01:49:52,193
Good.
2163
01:49:53,794 --> 01:49:56,664
[Stu on video] "Oh, man,I can't believe we got awaywith this, Molly Singer."
2164
01:49:56,697 --> 01:49:58,933
"I know it, Elliot Steiner."
2165
01:49:58,966 --> 01:50:00,668
[Sully] Why are you usingyour full names?
2166
01:50:00,701 --> 01:50:03,237
Is that the jackhole
that was laughing
in my courtroom this morning?
2167
01:50:03,270 --> 01:50:04,972
- [Trina] Elliot Steiner...
- Stuart Gable.
2168
01:50:05,005 --> 01:50:06,907
He's a fraternity brother
of Mr. Steiner's
2169
01:50:06,941 --> 01:50:08,909
and was trying to get him
kicked out of school.
2170
01:50:08,943 --> 01:50:11,645
"...that you and your Ki Mubrothers rule campus."
2171
01:50:11,679 --> 01:50:14,081
And-- and who's this
Meryl Streep over here?
2172
01:50:14,115 --> 01:50:16,183
- Go Badgers!
- [Molly] Trina Delgado.
2173
01:50:16,217 --> 01:50:19,253
She's trying a case
downstairs as we speak.
2174
01:50:19,286 --> 01:50:21,188
Uh, she's a lawyer as well?
2175
01:50:21,222 --> 01:50:22,490
Yes, Your Honor.
2176
01:50:23,124 --> 01:50:25,594
You know, what is going on
with law school?
2177
01:50:25,626 --> 01:50:27,428
Are they just letting
anybody in these days?
2178
01:50:27,461 --> 01:50:29,163
Is it the new math? Is that it?
2179
01:50:29,196 --> 01:50:32,199
Participation law degrees?
You know what?
2180
01:50:32,233 --> 01:50:35,903
Just save it,
don't wanna hear it.
Case dismissed. Mike!
2181
01:50:37,638 --> 01:50:38,806
Yes, Judge.
2182
01:50:38,839 --> 01:50:41,175
I need you to round up
some more idiots.
2183
01:50:41,909 --> 01:50:42,877
Okay.
2184
01:50:45,379 --> 01:50:46,814
Thank you, sir.
2185
01:50:46,847 --> 01:50:49,183
You, sir, have no idea
what you're doing!
2186
01:50:49,216 --> 01:50:51,018
I will have all of your jobs,
do you hear me?!
2187
01:50:51,051 --> 01:50:53,854
- Do you know who I am?
- Fine. Just call Dad, alright?
2188
01:50:53,888 --> 01:50:57,057
- Just call Dad!
- What about this clit, Molly!?
2189
01:50:57,091 --> 01:50:59,426
- [crying] Just call Dad...
- Hey, Poles,
2190
01:50:59,460 --> 01:51:01,162
how you like them hand jobs?
2191
01:51:01,195 --> 01:51:04,098
I hope someone rollerblades
over your vagina, Molly!
2192
01:51:04,131 --> 01:51:05,332
- What?
- What?
2193
01:51:06,066 --> 01:51:08,736
It's an interesting crowd
you two hang out with.
2194
01:51:08,769 --> 01:51:10,037
- [chuckles]
- Yeah.
2195
01:51:10,738 --> 01:51:12,173
Uh... [clears throat]
2196
01:51:13,207 --> 01:51:14,241
Not bad.
2197
01:51:17,878 --> 01:51:19,680
I guess I'll see you around.
2198
01:51:19,713 --> 01:51:21,682
Yeah. See you later, Steiner.
2199
01:51:21,715 --> 01:51:23,017
- Bye.
- Bye.
2200
01:51:24,653 --> 01:51:26,086
[sighs]
2201
01:51:26,921 --> 01:51:28,923
- [exhales]
- Oh. There you are.
2202
01:51:28,956 --> 01:51:31,492
Yep, I'm here. Oh, God.
2203
01:51:31,526 --> 01:51:33,394
Uh, didn't you just drive here?
2204
01:51:36,531 --> 01:51:38,999
I could have in hindsight.
2205
01:51:39,033 --> 01:51:40,535
I, I could have.
I... [stammers]
2206
01:51:40,569 --> 01:51:41,902
- So you ran.
- You're right. I...
2207
01:51:41,936 --> 01:51:44,205
I didn't have to.
But I did.
2208
01:51:45,239 --> 01:51:47,107
- Let's get you some water.
- Okay.
2209
01:51:47,141 --> 01:51:48,275
[sighs]
2210
01:51:49,243 --> 01:51:52,313
["I Am Woman"
by Emmy Meli playing]
2211
01:52:02,022 --> 01:52:04,158
[Molly] I know a lot of peoplethink if they had the chance
2212
01:52:04,191 --> 01:52:06,393
to do it all over again,they would.
2213
01:52:06,927 --> 01:52:11,232
Well, I'm here to tell you,when it comes to your life,
2214
01:52:11,265 --> 01:52:13,500
it's all aboutliving your present.
2215
01:52:14,034 --> 01:52:16,837
Constantly looking backwill just give you a neck ache.
2216
01:52:17,838 --> 01:52:20,007
Elliot certainly gotwhat he wanted.
2217
01:52:20,040 --> 01:52:22,076
President of his pledge class
2218
01:52:22,109 --> 01:52:25,212
and completely reshaped Ki Mufrom the ground up.
2219
01:52:25,980 --> 01:52:28,816
Paulie finished firstin his ed psych class,
2220
01:52:28,849 --> 01:52:30,451
graduated with honors,
2221
01:52:30,484 --> 01:52:32,152
won back his family's respect.
2222
01:52:32,186 --> 01:52:35,356
And now he's shootingfor his master's degreein education.
2223
01:52:35,389 --> 01:52:36,725
Trust fund!
2224
01:52:36,757 --> 01:52:38,892
[Molly] You know,for the kids and shit.
2225
01:52:39,827 --> 01:52:41,095
And me...
2226
01:52:41,128 --> 01:52:43,130
I finally realizedwhat I liked doing.
2227
01:52:43,632 --> 01:52:49,503
Helping those shy caterpillarsbecome full motherfuckingbutterflies.
2228
01:52:52,072 --> 01:52:55,909
Everybody says that collegeis the best four to seven,
2229
01:52:55,943 --> 01:52:57,911
maybe nine years of your life.
2230
01:52:58,412 --> 01:53:00,715
I used to be a firm believerin that axiom
2231
01:53:01,348 --> 01:53:04,018
until a really good friendshowed me
2232
01:53:04,719 --> 01:53:08,222
life does get betteras we get older.
2233
01:53:08,255 --> 01:53:11,492
It just takes longerfor some of us to realize.
2234
01:53:15,563 --> 01:53:18,932
[upbeat music playing]
2235
01:53:18,966 --> 01:53:20,301
Uh, Amy, here's the thing.
2236
01:53:20,334 --> 01:53:22,704
We've been traveling
the past few years
2237
01:53:22,737 --> 01:53:26,106
dedicating our lives
to helping children in need.
2238
01:53:26,641 --> 01:53:28,743
[stammers, laughs]
2239
01:53:28,777 --> 01:53:29,877
I'm sorry.
2240
01:53:29,910 --> 01:53:31,879
You know, I'm sorry. The--
2241
01:53:31,912 --> 01:53:33,347
So, sorry-- [grunts]
2242
01:53:33,380 --> 01:53:35,149
- Really sorry about that.
- [grunts]
2243
01:53:35,182 --> 01:53:36,317
[laughter]
2244
01:53:36,350 --> 01:53:37,619
This is the same shit
they give to Armstrong
2245
01:53:37,652 --> 01:53:39,119
- for the Tour de France.
- What?
2246
01:53:39,153 --> 01:53:41,855
- Relax. I'm just joking.
- [chuckles]
2247
01:53:43,957 --> 01:53:45,560
Fuck, what did you
want me to say?
2248
01:53:45,593 --> 01:53:47,696
- [laughter]
- [Molly] If we win,
2249
01:53:47,729 --> 01:53:50,364
Elliot gets a bid
into Ki Mu, but if we...
2250
01:53:50,397 --> 01:53:52,833
[exhales] Hold on.
Let me try again.
2251
01:53:52,866 --> 01:53:57,971
[clears throat, stammering]
2252
01:54:00,274 --> 01:54:02,443
[Brenda] Oh, you got it
on the other side.
2253
01:54:02,476 --> 01:54:03,611
- [laughs]
- [Brenda] Good.
2254
01:54:05,212 --> 01:54:09,083
[vocalizing] Dwayne
"The Rock" Johnson.
2255
01:54:09,751 --> 01:54:13,521
Oh. Mayor Pete. Mayor Pete.
Mayor Pete. Mayor Pete.
Mayor Pete...
2256
01:54:13,555 --> 01:54:15,022
[laughter]
2257
01:54:15,055 --> 01:54:17,124
Hey, I don't know
if you-- oh!
2258
01:54:17,157 --> 01:54:19,527
- Get the fuck out of here, bro!
- [Elliot] Aah! I'm sorry.
2259
01:54:19,561 --> 01:54:20,894
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
2260
01:54:23,297 --> 01:54:25,366
- [Stu] Shit.
- So like this? Like...
2261
01:54:26,033 --> 01:54:27,836
- Mm.
- Yeah, yeah,
you're totally getting it.
2262
01:54:27,868 --> 01:54:29,370
Or was it cross-country like...
2263
01:54:31,505 --> 01:54:34,408
Mrs. Zimmerman, I know
I'm late on last month's rent,
2264
01:54:34,441 --> 01:54:37,211
but I did finally get
to your groceries. [gasps]
2265
01:54:41,048 --> 01:54:44,451
- Ah! Oh, my God. Whoa.
- Oh, Molly. What a treat.
2266
01:54:44,485 --> 01:54:45,854
You do love buffets.
2267
01:54:45,886 --> 01:54:48,288
Yeah, we are going downtown.
2268
01:54:48,322 --> 01:54:49,957
Oh, oh!
2269
01:54:56,731 --> 01:54:58,566
- Goddammit.
- [iPhone thuds]
2270
01:54:59,634 --> 01:55:02,637
Scott, I'm gonna need you
to give me the--
the footage. Okay?
2271
01:55:02,670 --> 01:55:06,373
I'm gonna need you
to remove your pants,
in which case footage is yours.
2272
01:55:06,407 --> 01:55:08,510
That is no. Give me
the fucking footage
2273
01:55:08,543 --> 01:55:10,712
and get me out of fucking
Freddy's Nightmares.
2274
01:55:10,745 --> 01:55:12,413
[Sully] Fuck you,
Elliot Steinberg!
2275
01:55:12,446 --> 01:55:14,716
- [Stu] Steiner.
- [Sully] Steinerstein.
2276
01:55:14,749 --> 01:55:16,851
- [Stu] Steiner.
- [Sully] Steinman.
2277
01:55:16,885 --> 01:55:19,420
[laughter]
2278
01:55:20,421 --> 01:55:22,256
[Molly] What--
what are you doing?
2279
01:55:22,289 --> 01:55:23,924
Trying not to blow our cover.
2280
01:55:23,957 --> 01:55:26,026
What? Most of these kids--
Oh, fuck.
2281
01:55:26,059 --> 01:55:27,729
Fucked it. Fucked it up.
2282
01:55:27,762 --> 01:55:29,029
[crew] Okay, go back to one...
2283
01:55:29,597 --> 01:55:32,734
[Molly] I want your undies
on your head, please.
2284
01:55:32,767 --> 01:55:34,301
[crowd laughing]
2285
01:55:34,769 --> 01:55:36,170
[sighs]
2286
01:55:36,738 --> 01:55:38,405
- I'm mic-ed up though.
- [Molly] Stu!
2287
01:55:38,439 --> 01:55:40,007
[laughter]
2288
01:55:40,040 --> 01:55:41,408
Okay. [clears throat]
2289
01:55:42,176 --> 01:55:43,745
[laughs]
2290
01:55:43,778 --> 01:55:45,179
Alright. Um...
2291
01:55:45,680 --> 01:55:47,615
And now... [laughs]
2292
01:55:47,649 --> 01:55:48,716
Yeah, okay.
2293
01:55:49,349 --> 01:55:52,019
I'm crying. Okay. Okay.
Maybe I'll just back it up
a second.
2294
01:55:52,052 --> 01:55:53,353
Okay. No, no.
2295
01:55:53,387 --> 01:55:55,590
No, no, I can do it.
I can do it. Um...
2296
01:55:55,623 --> 01:55:57,357
[crew] It's Michael, take two.
2297
01:55:58,058 --> 01:55:59,594
It's Michael, take two.
2298
01:56:00,461 --> 01:56:04,532
You like beer? I had
an IPA the other day
called, uh, Gnarly Beaver.
2299
01:56:04,566 --> 01:56:06,835
I had an IPA the other day
called Swollen Frog.
2300
01:56:06,868 --> 01:56:10,638
Beers, huh? I had you
pegged for more
of a skinny Margarita girl.
2301
01:56:10,672 --> 01:56:12,306
Oh, yeah, I do love those.
2302
01:56:17,946 --> 01:56:19,848
You know what? I take it back.
2303
01:56:19,881 --> 01:56:22,449
Not gonna fuck you. Swipe left.
2304
01:56:23,083 --> 01:56:24,686
[smacks lips] Fuck you.
2305
01:56:24,719 --> 01:56:27,589
[upbeat music playing]
175752
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.