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1
00:02:10,845 --> 00:02:14,305
- Pressure's all right, Gary?
- It's perfect.
2
00:02:17,635 --> 00:02:22,515
- And the oil is not too warm?
- It feels nice.
3
00:02:27,945 --> 00:02:31,565
Is there any area in particular
you want me to focus on today?
4
00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:45,915
You could...
5
00:02:49,585 --> 00:02:50,965
You could go...
6
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:55,005
Lower?
7
00:03:34,595 --> 00:03:35,635
Oh, my God.
8
00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:40,055
I'm sorry, this music is triggering me.
9
00:03:40,935 --> 00:03:43,305
Can I change it
to something less traumatic?
10
00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:45,295
Sure.
11
00:03:45,495 --> 00:03:48,355
Kind of feels like
I was getting you off at a funeral.
12
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,265
- You have a dope house, by the way.
- Thank you.
13
00:03:55,465 --> 00:03:56,525
It's, like, sexy.
14
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:04,785
Oh, God.
15
00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:18,325
Lick, lick, lick, lick
I wanna eat your dick
16
00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:20,925
But I can't fuck up my nails
17
00:04:24,095 --> 00:04:28,465
- I'm so sorry. Cory, is it?
- Yeah, Kory. With a K.
18
00:04:28,665 --> 00:04:31,395
Could we just keep
the distractions to a minimum?
19
00:04:32,065 --> 00:04:35,425
I'm sorry.
I stopped taking my Vyvanse, and I have--
20
00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:36,945
It's okay. I'm just...
21
00:04:38,115 --> 00:04:40,325
- So the music, off?
- Please?
22
00:04:41,035 --> 00:04:41,865
Yeah.
23
00:04:58,755 --> 00:05:02,305
I'm so sorry. Is there any way
that you could not chew gum?
24
00:05:03,135 --> 00:05:04,595
Bitch, am I not allowed to breathe?
25
00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:12,215
- Gum's gone. Are we good?
- Yeah. I'm sorry.
26
00:05:12,415 --> 00:05:15,275
- It's fine. Can I proceed?
- Please. Thank you.
27
00:05:25,865 --> 00:05:29,125
So you have, like, a really big house.
28
00:05:31,125 --> 00:05:32,295
Who all lives here?
29
00:05:36,175 --> 00:05:37,115
Just me.
30
00:05:37,315 --> 00:05:38,695
Damn!
31
00:05:38,895 --> 00:05:40,755
No husband? No wife?
32
00:05:46,845 --> 00:05:49,915
- Wife. I had a wife.
- Word.
33
00:05:50,115 --> 00:05:53,855
I used to fuck girls too, and then
I realised I sucked at eating pussy.
34
00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:57,505
She left. She took the kids, and--
35
00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,655
What a bitch. Boys or girls?
36
00:06:00,445 --> 00:06:02,135
Boys. Well, men now, really.
37
00:06:02,335 --> 00:06:03,385
Are they hot?
38
00:06:03,585 --> 00:06:05,325
- What?
- Your two sons, are they hot?
39
00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,015
I don't know.
40
00:06:07,215 --> 00:06:10,565
Come on, Gary. You're clearly a fairy.
Or at least now you are.
41
00:06:10,765 --> 00:06:11,855
They're my children!
42
00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:15,835
It's not perverted.
My cousins are so fucking hot.
43
00:06:16,755 --> 00:06:18,675
I mean, they're good-looking young men.
44
00:06:19,715 --> 00:06:20,715
Okay.
45
00:06:21,385 --> 00:06:22,805
Jesus!
46
00:06:26,265 --> 00:06:29,935
Gary? How many guys
have you done this with?
47
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,175
One?
48
00:06:36,375 --> 00:06:38,885
- One, like...
- Like, you're my first.
49
00:06:39,085 --> 00:06:42,525
- I'm your first massage?
- No. I mean, yes, but...
50
00:06:43,905 --> 00:06:46,695
You're the first guy
that I've ever been intimate with.
51
00:06:52,125 --> 00:06:56,025
- Gary, shut up.
- It's not a big deal.
52
00:06:56,225 --> 00:06:57,905
Gary, this is a big fucking deal.
53
00:06:58,105 --> 00:07:01,485
I need a drink. I need a drink.
Come on. Come on! Holy shit.
54
00:07:01,685 --> 00:07:02,885
Where are you going?
55
00:07:03,595 --> 00:07:06,215
So you've never touched a dick before?
Like, even as a kid?
56
00:07:08,055 --> 00:07:08,825
No.
57
00:07:09,025 --> 00:07:11,045
Oh, my God, Gary, that is so gay.
58
00:07:11,235 --> 00:07:12,455
I'm not supposed to drink, so--
59
00:07:12,655 --> 00:07:15,715
That is the most repressed Catholic-ass
bullshit I've ever heard in my life.
60
00:07:15,915 --> 00:07:18,255
I did jerk off once
in a steam room at our country club.
61
00:07:18,455 --> 00:07:20,675
Not even an Equinox? Jesus Christ, Gary.
62
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,965
It was a long time ago.
The world's different now.
63
00:07:23,165 --> 00:07:25,475
Bitch, please.
The ancient Greeks were gay as shit.
64
00:07:25,675 --> 00:07:27,555
Zeus ate dick
for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
65
00:07:27,755 --> 00:07:29,105
That's why he was so strong.
66
00:07:29,295 --> 00:07:30,245
All the cum.
67
00:07:32,115 --> 00:07:34,535
- What?
- You're a very spirited young man.
68
00:07:35,035 --> 00:07:36,145
You know what is so funny?
69
00:07:36,345 --> 00:07:39,545
People say shit like that all the time,
and I never know what it means.
70
00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:49,015
But this isn't about me.
This is about you.
71
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,635
I wanna know, why now?
72
00:07:52,685 --> 00:07:54,375
I can't believe I'm telling you this.
73
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:58,465
I got married so young, had kids so young
that I never gave myself an opportunity--
74
00:07:58,665 --> 00:08:02,255
Holy shit! I didn't even think about that.
Your kids are so lucky.
75
00:08:02,455 --> 00:08:03,595
- Why?
- They have a gay dad.
76
00:08:03,795 --> 00:08:07,475
- What's better than that?
- I doubt they see it that way, Kory.
77
00:08:07,675 --> 00:08:09,055
Please, call me Cameron.
78
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,555
Kory's the work name,
it helps me get into character.
79
00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:13,165
But you and I are friends now.
80
00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:15,455
Okay.
81
00:08:17,085 --> 00:08:21,695
Well, Cameron,
my kids don't talk to me, so...
82
00:08:21,895 --> 00:08:25,615
What? Sorry, you're telling me
that your family won't talk to you
83
00:08:25,815 --> 00:08:28,205
because you prefer bussy over pussy?
84
00:08:28,405 --> 00:08:29,325
What the actual fuck?
85
00:08:29,525 --> 00:08:32,495
Patty had her reasons. She took the kids--
86
00:08:32,695 --> 00:08:36,705
God! Patty? Oh, Patty!
Patty's a very, very cunty name, Gary.
87
00:08:36,905 --> 00:08:40,675
- Cameron.
- No! I'm sorry, Gary, that is bullshit.
88
00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:42,635
Bullshit.
89
00:08:42,835 --> 00:08:45,925
You were honest, and they turn their back
on you 'cause of your sexuality?
90
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:48,765
I'll talk to that bitch.
I'm a people person. Give me your phone.
91
00:08:48,965 --> 00:08:50,135
No. You don't have to--
92
00:08:50,335 --> 00:08:52,185
The only thing better
than my dad being gay
93
00:08:52,385 --> 00:08:54,475
would have been him being
like a reiki master.
94
00:08:54,675 --> 00:08:57,165
I would have killed
to have a dad like you.
95
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:00,995
I'm dying.
96
00:09:02,205 --> 00:09:04,905
Oh, baby, I'm dying too.
I mean, every night I fall asleep--
97
00:09:05,105 --> 00:09:06,585
I'm actually dying.
98
00:09:08,505 --> 00:09:10,635
I have an inoperable brain tumour.
99
00:09:14,175 --> 00:09:15,185
Oh, shit.
100
00:09:26,405 --> 00:09:30,305
I'm sorry.
I really don't know what to say.
101
00:09:30,505 --> 00:09:32,385
Words of affirmation
is not my love language.
102
00:09:32,585 --> 00:09:33,825
It's more like...
103
00:09:36,245 --> 00:09:40,235
Okay. You don't have to worry about
not knowing how to respond.
104
00:09:40,435 --> 00:09:43,155
Nobody's reacted that well thus far,
myself included.
105
00:09:43,355 --> 00:09:45,695
Oh, Gary. Are you okay?
106
00:09:45,895 --> 00:09:48,295
I mean, I know you're not okay, obviously.
But I mean...
107
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:53,455
It's like I just realised that
I've been alive for nearly half a century
108
00:09:53,655 --> 00:09:56,435
and I haven't actually lived
even a second of it.
109
00:09:58,225 --> 00:10:02,255
Okay. Okay, Gary.
Gary, I'm gonna help you.
110
00:10:02,455 --> 00:10:04,885
- What?
- Let's find someone for you.
111
00:10:05,085 --> 00:10:07,925
Someone you've always wanted
who will put what you want first.
112
00:10:08,125 --> 00:10:11,095
Honestly, can't you just finish
the hand job and go?
113
00:10:11,295 --> 00:10:15,555
Oh, shut up.
Shut up, Gary. We're doing this.
114
00:10:15,755 --> 00:10:17,245
You are gonna do this.
115
00:10:17,745 --> 00:10:21,145
Now, have you heard of Plungr?
116
00:10:21,345 --> 00:10:22,355
No.
117
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:23,485
It's a sex app.
118
00:10:23,685 --> 00:10:27,165
Why do I need a sex app?
I literally paid for you.
119
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:30,735
Because you're not gay
until you've hooked up
120
00:10:30,935 --> 00:10:34,215
with a complete stranger on an app,
who looks nothing like their pictures.
121
00:10:34,805 --> 00:10:36,245
- Okay.
- Okay, so crash course.
122
00:10:36,445 --> 00:10:39,875
Basically, once you set up your profile,
then you put in your stats.
123
00:10:40,075 --> 00:10:40,955
That's the basics.
124
00:10:41,155 --> 00:10:44,505
Your height, your body type,
your pronouns, your positions.
125
00:10:44,705 --> 00:10:47,175
- Top, bottom. We'll figure it out later.
- Jesus.
126
00:10:47,375 --> 00:10:50,755
Your relationship status,
date last tested, et cetera.
127
00:10:50,955 --> 00:10:54,135
And boom! You're getting your hole licked,
your salad tossed,
128
00:10:54,335 --> 00:10:56,555
your carpet munched
by your closeted neighbour--
129
00:10:56,755 --> 00:10:58,515
I'm sorry, this is a lot to take in.
130
00:10:58,715 --> 00:11:01,535
It's a lot, Gary.
I wish they had a gay Duolingo.
131
00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:05,125
You know what?
132
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:09,215
Why don't you see for yourself?
133
00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:10,965
Go on.
134
00:11:22,645 --> 00:11:25,315
Oh, my God. There's so many hot guys.
135
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,045
Yes, there are.
136
00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:31,195
But if you wanna talk to any of them,
you're gonna need an avatar.
137
00:11:31,695 --> 00:11:34,905
Profile picture. You're gonna need it,
or no one's gonna answer.
138
00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:39,095
Do you know what lighting in your house
makes you the most dewy?
139
00:11:39,295 --> 00:11:42,435
- Can we just use a picture of you?
- Seriously?
140
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:45,645
Look at you.
I'm not gonna get very many responses.
141
00:11:45,845 --> 00:11:48,605
Not with that attitude.
Do you know your angles?
142
00:11:48,805 --> 00:11:50,815
- My angles?
- Oh, for fuck's sake, Gary.
143
00:11:51,015 --> 00:11:53,295
Come on,
I can't just teach you everything.
144
00:11:57,385 --> 00:11:58,215
Hot?
145
00:11:59,055 --> 00:12:01,415
Yeah, that's very hot.
146
00:12:01,615 --> 00:12:02,385
I know.
147
00:12:02,885 --> 00:12:08,185
I'll just call us "Lad and Dad."
148
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,235
Okay.
149
00:12:15,565 --> 00:12:16,775
How about this guy?
150
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,475
{\an8}Two miles away.
151
00:12:19,675 --> 00:12:23,225
{\an8}"Dom Top, DL, Masc4masc, I love to suck."
152
00:12:23,425 --> 00:12:25,605
- What's DL?
- That's down-low, just like you.
153
00:12:25,805 --> 00:12:28,835
Well, I like his hat.
154
00:12:30,665 --> 00:12:31,505
Okay.
155
00:12:32,505 --> 00:12:35,465
"I like your hat, bro. You're hot."
156
00:12:39,055 --> 00:12:41,245
- "You too."
- Wait, he already wrote back to you?
157
00:12:41,445 --> 00:12:45,015
Yep. "Come over and drain me."
158
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:49,005
Okay, I'm sorry. No, Cameron,
I think this might be too much.
159
00:12:49,205 --> 00:12:50,925
- Too late. He's on his way.
- Wait. What?
160
00:12:51,125 --> 00:12:51,835
I dropped a pin.
161
00:12:52,035 --> 00:12:53,295
- You gave him my address?
- Yeah.
162
00:12:53,495 --> 00:12:55,215
But I might not be ready for this.
163
00:12:55,415 --> 00:12:57,675
It took me a week
to work up the courage to call you.
164
00:12:57,875 --> 00:13:01,595
And now you've invited
some complete stranger to my home.
165
00:13:01,795 --> 00:13:03,805
- Gary.
- I don't even know this person.
166
00:13:04,005 --> 00:13:05,765
- How am I supposed to react?
- Loosen up.
167
00:13:05,965 --> 00:13:07,225
- How?
- You're with me.
168
00:13:07,425 --> 00:13:12,865
I'm like human poppers. I open anyone up.
All you have to do is sit back and relax.
169
00:13:13,055 --> 00:13:14,045
Relax.
170
00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:16,635
You're gonna be okay, I prom.
171
00:13:17,635 --> 00:13:18,545
Prom?
172
00:13:19,045 --> 00:13:20,245
Half a promise.
173
00:13:20,445 --> 00:13:23,325
- Did you just make that up?
- Oh, my God. It's New York, Gary.
174
00:13:23,525 --> 00:13:26,265
The reality star.
Oh, you have so much to learn.
175
00:13:26,935 --> 00:13:28,355
I'm going to your kitchen.
176
00:13:39,365 --> 00:13:42,905
Gary, it's so harsh in here.
You need to liven it up.
177
00:13:44,245 --> 00:13:48,205
Spoon, spoon, spoon...
178
00:13:48,875 --> 00:13:52,165
Shit. You really are dying, aren't you?
179
00:14:04,675 --> 00:14:06,585
{\an8}"Gary and Patricia had
a beautiful marriage,
180
00:14:06,775 --> 00:14:08,085
{\an8}filled with blessing and love.
181
00:14:08,285 --> 00:14:11,715
The life they shared was harmonious
and fulfilling, raising the boys.
182
00:14:11,905 --> 00:14:16,645
However, Gary has now left the marriage
to finally pursue his life as a gay man.
183
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:20,925
There are no words to describe
the shock and heartache Patricia feels
184
00:14:21,125 --> 00:14:22,695
{\an8}regarding Gary's new path."
185
00:14:23,785 --> 00:14:25,195
Yikademente.
186
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,365
Gary! Oh, my God.
187
00:14:29,165 --> 00:14:33,025
Okay, can we please talk about this?
Because what the actual fuck?
188
00:14:33,225 --> 00:14:35,335
- Where did you get that?
- I went through your shit.
189
00:14:35,955 --> 00:14:36,795
Of course.
190
00:14:39,585 --> 00:14:44,665
After the split, Patty lashed out
in interesting and craft-based ways.
191
00:14:44,855 --> 00:14:47,035
It's on, like, weighted paper.
192
00:14:47,235 --> 00:14:50,085
You're telling me she went to Kinko's
and printed how many copies?
193
00:14:50,285 --> 00:14:53,295
She sent them
to quite a number of people in our lives.
194
00:14:53,495 --> 00:14:57,275
Gary, it's like a eulogy for straight you.
Rest in peace.
195
00:14:57,775 --> 00:15:00,445
- Well...
- At least you got to keep the house.
196
00:15:00,945 --> 00:15:05,095
When I came out of the closet, I lost
the closet and the room the closet was in.
197
00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,015
Is that why you ended up doing this?
198
00:15:07,215 --> 00:15:09,055
The fuck do you mean by that?
199
00:15:09,255 --> 00:15:13,025
Your line of work is not exactly
many people's first choice.
200
00:15:13,225 --> 00:15:15,065
A little fucking judgemental,
don't you think?
201
00:15:15,265 --> 00:15:19,165
I'm just saying,
kids wanna be astronauts, firemen.
202
00:15:19,665 --> 00:15:21,755
They don't pick sex worker
at the job fair.
203
00:15:22,715 --> 00:15:26,845
They would if they were tossed around
as an 8-year-old, like I was.
204
00:15:29,425 --> 00:15:33,205
I'm fucking joking. Are you serious?
That's what you actually think?
205
00:15:33,405 --> 00:15:36,255
That something terrible must have happened
to me to lead me to this?
206
00:15:36,455 --> 00:15:39,635
God forbid I found something
that I'm good at, and I monetised it.
207
00:15:39,835 --> 00:15:42,675
But you can't do this forever.
When you're my age, what will you do?
208
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:47,055
I don't know. I guess I'll repress
every desire that comes naturally,
209
00:15:47,255 --> 00:15:49,685
marry an unsuspecting woman,
have two sons,
210
00:15:49,885 --> 00:15:51,855
live a lie
until I find out I'm dying of cancer.
211
00:15:52,055 --> 00:15:55,565
- Hey, whoa.
- No! No, you are on thin ice, sweetie.
212
00:15:55,765 --> 00:15:58,155
I'm sorry. You're right.
213
00:15:58,345 --> 00:16:03,045
I guess that
that was my poor attempt at helping you.
214
00:16:04,795 --> 00:16:07,595
Well, write this down
and remember it fondly:
215
00:16:08,345 --> 00:16:10,265
I don't need your fucking help.
216
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:14,395
God!
217
00:16:26,025 --> 00:16:28,635
My God, if that was my best stab
at fatherly advice,
218
00:16:28,835 --> 00:16:31,015
it's no wonder
my own kids don't wanna speak to me.
219
00:16:31,215 --> 00:16:33,745
Okay, enough of this whole pity party.
220
00:16:34,745 --> 00:16:35,625
What is that?
221
00:16:37,245 --> 00:16:38,645
It's called pre-workout.
222
00:16:38,845 --> 00:16:41,315
- Like meth for people with goals.
- Why are you taking it now?
223
00:16:41,515 --> 00:16:44,825
You didn't have Red Bull.
Which, by the way, big mistake.
224
00:16:45,025 --> 00:16:47,155
- Big. Huge.
- Pretty Woman.
225
00:16:47,355 --> 00:16:49,615
Finally, a fucking reference you know.
226
00:16:49,815 --> 00:16:51,825
Pretty Woman is one of my favourite films.
227
00:16:52,025 --> 00:16:54,245
That would explain
your attitude towards sex work.
228
00:16:54,445 --> 00:16:57,955
- Well, you're the one who just quoted it.
- Touché, bitch.
229
00:16:58,155 --> 00:17:01,795
- Yeah.
- Oh, fuck. He's here. He's here!
230
00:17:01,995 --> 00:17:03,135
Oh, my God, what do I do?
231
00:17:03,335 --> 00:17:06,765
Hey. Go upstairs,
wear something sexy, I got this covered.
232
00:17:06,955 --> 00:17:08,905
- Go! Go!
- Okay.
233
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:15,115
Sexy.
234
00:17:18,665 --> 00:17:20,705
- Hello.
- 'Sup, bro?
235
00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:24,985
- Fist me already!
- I'm Sammy.
236
00:17:25,185 --> 00:17:29,095
I'm Kory, with a K. The lost Kardashian.
Nice truck.
237
00:17:30,305 --> 00:17:31,745
You parked so far.
238
00:17:31,945 --> 00:17:35,095
- Just wanna get in and get out.
- Oh. You can get in, all right.
239
00:17:39,305 --> 00:17:40,145
Come on.
240
00:17:42,435 --> 00:17:46,025
This place is dope, man.
Do you live here alone?
241
00:17:46,905 --> 00:17:51,525
Well, if you noticed on Plungr,
I am Lad...
242
00:17:53,495 --> 00:17:56,655
and this is Dad.
243
00:17:58,575 --> 00:17:59,645
Hi.
244
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:03,105
Who the fuck is
this Mister Rogers-looking-ass dude?
245
00:18:03,305 --> 00:18:05,815
I thought I told you
to wear something sexy.
246
00:18:06,015 --> 00:18:07,485
I feel very sexy in this.
247
00:18:07,685 --> 00:18:10,655
The profile said "Lad and Dad."
248
00:18:10,855 --> 00:18:13,365
You didn't say
nothing about a threesome, so...
249
00:18:13,565 --> 00:18:15,875
And you didn't say anything
about being a whiny bottom.
250
00:18:16,075 --> 00:18:18,375
- But here we are.
- I'm no bottom! I'm all top.
251
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:21,715
- Yeah, sure, you self-hating little bitch.
- Cameron.
252
00:18:21,905 --> 00:18:23,045
Shut the fuck up, please.
253
00:18:23,245 --> 00:18:28,315
We both know you're just a gaping hole,
so pipe down and service this cock!
254
00:18:32,735 --> 00:18:34,305
Fuck, you're sexy.
255
00:18:34,505 --> 00:18:36,855
You know you don't deserve
to suck this cock, though, right?
256
00:18:37,045 --> 00:18:37,825
I know.
257
00:18:39,825 --> 00:18:43,035
I'm sorry, sir.
I'll suck it so good, though.
258
00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:44,705
Do it.
259
00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:49,925
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.
260
00:18:57,925 --> 00:18:59,685
Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah.
261
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:06,005
You shut your fucking mouth
when you're sucking this dick.
262
00:19:06,205 --> 00:19:09,215
- Please, sir, I want some more.
- Yeah, you do.
263
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:13,305
Yeah, you like that dick,
you little Oliver Twist-ass bitch?
264
00:19:13,505 --> 00:19:17,035
Oh, God. It's like a juicy bratwurst.
265
00:19:18,155 --> 00:19:22,455
You make me...
You make me sick, you little orphan boy.
266
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:24,785
I'm an orphan.
267
00:19:25,835 --> 00:19:27,735
Fucking deeper, bitch.
268
00:19:27,935 --> 00:19:29,365
You little street urchin.
269
00:19:29,565 --> 00:19:33,045
You little begging bitch
with your little purple-ass shorts.
270
00:19:33,545 --> 00:19:36,675
I'm your fucking street urchin,
motherfucker.
271
00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:40,555
Come on, Dad.
272
00:19:41,685 --> 00:19:42,515
Come on.
273
00:19:44,055 --> 00:19:45,265
- Fuck me.
- It's okay.
274
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:50,775
Oh, yes. You gotta
put it fucking deep in there.
275
00:19:55,865 --> 00:19:57,515
Wait. Why are you stopping?
276
00:19:57,715 --> 00:19:59,555
- I can't do this.
- Can't do what?
277
00:19:59,755 --> 00:20:01,605
Suck a dick
when your username's Looking2Succ?
278
00:20:01,805 --> 00:20:03,815
Not with this
accountant-looking motherfucker.
279
00:20:04,015 --> 00:20:06,355
- I'm sorry.
- Gary is a beautiful man
280
00:20:06,555 --> 00:20:09,025
who deserves anonymous blowjobs,
just like the rest of us.
281
00:20:09,225 --> 00:20:10,315
He looks like shit.
282
00:20:10,515 --> 00:20:15,405
- You look like shit, little pencil dick!
- What? I'm not even fully hard, bro.
283
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:16,495
Oh, really?
284
00:20:16,695 --> 00:20:19,575
Plus, I didn't get
to showcase my personality.
285
00:20:19,775 --> 00:20:20,825
Oh, my God!
286
00:20:21,025 --> 00:20:24,955
Looking2Succ, I've given you plenty
of time to showcase your personality.
287
00:20:25,155 --> 00:20:29,085
Fuck you. I'm better one-on-one.
And it was just you in the picture.
288
00:20:29,285 --> 00:20:32,795
Not your
Flowers in the Attic
fucking sidepiece daddy.
289
00:20:32,995 --> 00:20:34,555
I'm not even gay, anyway.
290
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:37,475
You just casually referenced
Flowers in the Attic.
291
00:20:37,675 --> 00:20:40,595
- You are an absolute faggot!
- I got a wife.
292
00:20:40,795 --> 00:20:42,265
- So does he!
- Ex-wife.
293
00:20:42,465 --> 00:20:46,435
And you'll be adding ex to the title
when she finds out you're a bottom!
294
00:20:46,635 --> 00:20:48,645
Watch your fucking mouth, bro!
295
00:20:48,845 --> 00:20:51,105
I'm warning you, I will knock you out.
296
00:20:51,305 --> 00:20:56,655
Oh, no. He's gonna knock me out, Gary,
hit me with his
Flowers in the Attic.
297
00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:57,655
Okay. Boys. Boys.
298
00:20:57,855 --> 00:21:04,455
- You are a F-A-double G-O-T, faggot!
- This is your last fucking warning, bro!
299
00:21:04,655 --> 00:21:06,515
- You're a faggot!
- Fuck you!
300
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:54,735
It was a gorgeous landing.
301
00:22:02,365 --> 00:22:05,855
- Why would you do that?
- Do what?
302
00:22:06,055 --> 00:22:08,355
You instigated him. You riled him up.
303
00:22:08,555 --> 00:22:09,815
Hey, hold on, hold on.
304
00:22:10,015 --> 00:22:12,565
He literally charged at me
and you pushed me out of the way.
305
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,045
How is this my fault?
306
00:22:14,835 --> 00:22:17,965
If you had shut up,
he wouldn't have done the charging.
307
00:22:18,835 --> 00:22:20,785
Of course, you're gonna take his side.
308
00:22:20,985 --> 00:22:23,825
Two repressed queers blaming
their shame and misery on me,
309
00:22:24,025 --> 00:22:26,285
- a secure, stable homosexual.
- Stable?
310
00:22:26,485 --> 00:22:29,395
- Yeah.
- How did I let this happen? My God!
311
00:22:30,095 --> 00:22:32,505
Wait, this whole thing was your idea.
The whole thing.
312
00:22:32,705 --> 00:22:34,505
No, no, no! You wanted him to come here.
313
00:22:34,705 --> 00:22:37,005
You practically forced me into this.
314
00:22:37,205 --> 00:22:40,135
Oh, I forced you
to hook up with two hot dudes.
315
00:22:40,335 --> 00:22:43,025
I'm so evil, Gary. Oh, I'm so sorry.
316
00:22:49,455 --> 00:22:50,815
What are you doing?
317
00:22:51,015 --> 00:22:53,355
- I'm calling 911.
- For what? He's dead!
318
00:22:53,555 --> 00:22:55,655
Exactly. We have to explain what happened.
319
00:22:55,855 --> 00:23:00,325
You may be okay going to jail 'cause
you're dying, but I'm freshly made.
320
00:23:00,525 --> 00:23:03,035
- I don't care. I'm calling.
- Gary, no. Accidents happen!
321
00:23:03,235 --> 00:23:05,865
It was your first time being gay.
You were gonna make mistakes.
322
00:23:06,065 --> 00:23:08,375
- This is more than a mistake!
- You're right.
323
00:23:08,575 --> 00:23:10,545
I'm so glad
you're man enough to admit that.
324
00:23:10,735 --> 00:23:12,645
- Admit what?
- You assaulted me.
325
00:23:14,395 --> 00:23:16,885
- You fucking kidding me?
- You pushed me, babe.
326
00:23:17,075 --> 00:23:21,275
You pushed me and my lover is dead!
That's what I'm gonna tell the cops.
327
00:23:23,365 --> 00:23:27,185
I can't believe that you would pin this
on me when all I did was protect you.
328
00:23:27,385 --> 00:23:28,765
Protect me, really?
329
00:23:28,965 --> 00:23:30,975
He was gonna beat you up.
I saved your life.
330
00:23:31,175 --> 00:23:32,315
Don't be so dramatic, Gary.
331
00:23:32,515 --> 00:23:34,565
You both would have flown out
of that window,
332
00:23:34,765 --> 00:23:36,485
which now seems like a missed opportunity!
333
00:23:36,685 --> 00:23:38,835
Okay, so don't ever try
and save my life again, then!
334
00:23:39,465 --> 00:23:41,375
I pray that I don't have the chance!
335
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,595
No, Cameron,
you can't walk away from this.
336
00:23:45,465 --> 00:23:46,755
It's your fault!
337
00:23:47,555 --> 00:23:51,935
You know what? You say that one more time,
I swear to God!
338
00:23:52,435 --> 00:23:56,295
When you first told me about your family,
I felt bad for you. I really did.
339
00:23:56,495 --> 00:23:58,085
But you know what? I feel bad for them,
340
00:23:58,285 --> 00:24:01,755
'cause you're that classic closet case
that loves to look like the hero
341
00:24:01,955 --> 00:24:03,095
while playing the victim.
342
00:24:03,295 --> 00:24:07,095
Maybe accept the fact that
you ruined more lives than you saved.
343
00:24:07,295 --> 00:24:09,785
You don't know a fucking thing
about me and my family.
344
00:24:10,285 --> 00:24:12,165
Oh, thank God for that.
345
00:24:12,825 --> 00:24:15,585
It's your house, Gary. Your window.
346
00:24:16,165 --> 00:24:19,005
Every man for himself.
I'm fucking out of here.
347
00:24:19,795 --> 00:24:22,525
You are a pest! You are a menace!
348
00:24:22,725 --> 00:24:25,075
You are a selfish, spoiled boy,
and I have no use for you!
349
00:24:25,275 --> 00:24:28,215
I don't wanna see you or know you!
Get out of my house!
350
00:24:28,805 --> 00:24:31,225
- Is that from
Dennis the Menace?
- Go!
351
00:24:32,845 --> 00:24:34,395
Fuck you, Gary!
352
00:25:40,745 --> 00:25:41,915
Oh, God.
353
00:25:43,005 --> 00:25:43,835
Okay.
354
00:25:44,415 --> 00:25:45,255
Okay.
355
00:26:09,865 --> 00:26:10,905
Fuck.
356
00:26:19,205 --> 00:26:20,955
So where are we taking him?
357
00:26:22,035 --> 00:26:23,525
- Why?
- Don't look at me like that.
358
00:26:23,725 --> 00:26:27,715
You're weak, I feel sorry for you,
and thank you for saving my life.
359
00:26:28,675 --> 00:26:31,965
I think he shit himself.
Just grab his hands, come on.
360
00:26:34,555 --> 00:26:35,635
Fuck!
361
00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:40,295
Okay. So should we drag him to the shore,
362
00:26:40,495 --> 00:26:42,875
fill his pockets with rocks,
and then throw him in the lake?
363
00:26:43,075 --> 00:26:46,135
What? Did you just come up with that?
364
00:26:46,335 --> 00:26:47,425
Yeah. Why?
365
00:26:47,625 --> 00:26:49,755
Because that's almost exactly
what we did with Duke.
366
00:26:49,955 --> 00:26:52,725
- Who the fuck is Duke?
- My only real friend.
367
00:26:52,925 --> 00:26:56,685
- Who the fuck are you, Robert Durst?
- Jesus Christ, Cameron!
368
00:26:56,885 --> 00:26:59,765
Duke was a Weimaraner,
who I loved very, very much.
369
00:26:59,965 --> 00:27:02,685
- A who?
- A dog. Duke was a dog.
370
00:27:02,885 --> 00:27:05,485
He loved the water.
It was a fitting send-off.
371
00:27:05,685 --> 00:27:07,815
But dogs don't wear pants.
372
00:27:08,015 --> 00:27:09,795
Oh, God. Cameron, pick him up.
373
00:27:11,675 --> 00:27:15,575
We're dealing with a human body,
a human dead body.
374
00:27:15,775 --> 00:27:18,995
He's gonna smell. He's gonna rot.
375
00:27:19,195 --> 00:27:23,505
He's got a family, a wife who probably
hates him but doesn't want him dead.
376
00:27:23,705 --> 00:27:25,975
Are we talking about the body or you?
377
00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:44,745
I should just take the fall.
378
00:27:45,245 --> 00:27:49,155
No. I don't want Patty
to have to make another calling card.
379
00:27:49,355 --> 00:27:54,285
"After a few months as a homosexual man,
Gary decided to lead a life of crime."
380
00:27:54,485 --> 00:27:57,095
With a wilted rose
as the background this time?
381
00:27:57,675 --> 00:27:58,965
Stunning.
382
00:28:12,525 --> 00:28:14,315
I'm really glad you came back.
383
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:17,865
Me too.
384
00:28:23,665 --> 00:28:25,855
Oh, fuck! He bled through the tarp!
385
00:28:26,055 --> 00:28:28,735
That's mountain ash wood,
it's really porous.
386
00:28:28,935 --> 00:28:32,505
Oh, my God, you're so gay.
How did nobody know?
387
00:28:33,675 --> 00:28:35,885
Shut up and help me move this thing.
388
00:29:09,245 --> 00:29:12,025
Oh, my God.
Did you invite somebody else over?
389
00:29:12,225 --> 00:29:14,365
- You think I double-booked you?
- Well, did you?
390
00:29:14,565 --> 00:29:15,275
Of course I didn't.
391
00:29:15,475 --> 00:29:17,495
- Answer it.
- I don't wanna answer it.
392
00:29:17,685 --> 00:29:19,755
We can't answer the door.
I have no idea who it is.
393
00:29:21,215 --> 00:29:22,375
Oh, fuck.
394
00:29:22,565 --> 00:29:24,185
Avon lady calling!
395
00:29:25,515 --> 00:29:26,455
It's Sandy.
396
00:29:26,655 --> 00:29:28,625
- Who the fuck is Sandy?
- My neighbour.
397
00:29:28,825 --> 00:29:29,895
Oh, shit.
398
00:29:30,565 --> 00:29:31,505
Gary!
399
00:29:31,705 --> 00:29:35,065
What am I supposed to do?
I'm completely covered in blood.
400
00:29:35,815 --> 00:29:36,945
I know what to do.
401
00:29:37,815 --> 00:29:39,175
Where are you going?
402
00:29:39,375 --> 00:29:42,185
Gary? Is that you?
403
00:29:42,385 --> 00:29:44,185
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
404
00:29:44,385 --> 00:29:46,935
Hello? Gary?
405
00:29:47,135 --> 00:29:49,235
- That's Patty's apron.
- Not anymore.
406
00:29:49,425 --> 00:29:51,315
- What are you gonna do?
- Answer the door.
407
00:29:51,515 --> 00:29:56,675
- No, no, you can't answer the door.
- I'm gonna answer the fucking door.
408
00:30:00,425 --> 00:30:01,205
Hi.
409
00:30:01,405 --> 00:30:02,785
You're not Gary.
410
00:30:02,985 --> 00:30:06,745
No. No, no, no.
I'm cute, and you must be pretty.
411
00:30:06,945 --> 00:30:09,515
So together that means we're pretty cute.
412
00:30:15,565 --> 00:30:18,845
You're a hoot! I'm Sandy.
413
00:30:19,045 --> 00:30:22,945
Oh, Sandy, what brings you over here
this beautiful night?
414
00:30:23,785 --> 00:30:26,615
I should be asking you the same question.
415
00:30:29,915 --> 00:30:32,355
That's so like Gary. A man of few words.
416
00:30:32,555 --> 00:30:36,735
I'm his real estate agent, Kory.
Kory Haim.
417
00:30:36,935 --> 00:30:39,945
- Like the actor?
- No, you're thinking of Feldman.
418
00:30:40,145 --> 00:30:41,785
No, there was two Coreys.
419
00:30:41,985 --> 00:30:45,765
- There was Corey Feldman and Corey Haim.
- No, there's just one.
420
00:30:46,555 --> 00:30:49,245
- Thank you for coming.
- Gary!
421
00:30:49,445 --> 00:30:54,125
Hey, you're not in that gorgeous
little palazzo across the way, are you?
422
00:30:54,325 --> 00:30:57,715
Where is Gary?
And why are you here so late at night?
423
00:30:57,915 --> 00:31:01,515
Oh, I'm doing an inspection. Smog.
424
00:31:01,715 --> 00:31:05,845
You know, I thought I heard
the faint sounds of screaming earlier,
425
00:31:06,045 --> 00:31:08,015
and I thought, well, Gary's home,
426
00:31:08,215 --> 00:31:12,775
so naturally I thought I would come on by
on my way to the store.
427
00:31:12,975 --> 00:31:16,605
But I gotta hit the road
before the Ambien kicks in.
428
00:31:16,805 --> 00:31:20,785
- I think it already kicked in.
- Stat! Like they say on
Grey's.
429
00:31:20,975 --> 00:31:23,465
Oh! Are you a McDreamy girl?
430
00:31:24,305 --> 00:31:25,865
All the way.
431
00:31:26,065 --> 00:31:28,175
I could see it in your eyes, Sandy.
432
00:31:32,645 --> 00:31:35,565
I just need some flour...
433
00:31:36,355 --> 00:31:40,175
to make my chocolate chip banana bread
for my church group in the morning.
434
00:31:40,375 --> 00:31:43,715
Sure, yeah. Not keto, but very Christian.
435
00:31:43,915 --> 00:31:48,195
We just pray so hard
that the carbs don't stick to our hips.
436
00:31:53,205 --> 00:31:56,235
You know what? I just realised something.
437
00:31:56,435 --> 00:31:58,525
- I know where Gary keeps the flour.
- Wow.
438
00:31:58,725 --> 00:32:02,025
Yeah.
So why don't you just wait right here?
439
00:32:02,225 --> 00:32:05,745
- Right here. Sit, stay.
- Right there. Sit, stay. Sit, stay.
440
00:32:05,945 --> 00:32:09,925
Don't move. Good girl. Good girl.
I'll be right back. Yeah, okay.
441
00:32:14,185 --> 00:32:15,805
He's wearing an apron.
442
00:32:19,985 --> 00:32:21,525
One more won't hurt.
443
00:32:25,985 --> 00:32:27,655
Shit, shit, shit.
444
00:32:30,035 --> 00:32:32,405
Where is the flour? Fuck, fuck, fuck!
445
00:32:32,995 --> 00:32:35,415
- I know.
- What?
446
00:32:36,535 --> 00:32:40,235
You don't have to hide it.
I caught you red-handed.
447
00:32:40,435 --> 00:32:44,945
Okay. Look, it was a whole mistake,
and one thing lead to another--
448
00:32:45,145 --> 00:32:48,425
The heart wants what the heart wants.
449
00:32:49,555 --> 00:32:52,495
- What?
- I got Patty's card.
450
00:32:52,695 --> 00:32:54,345
The whole neighbourhood did.
451
00:32:54,935 --> 00:32:57,375
You don't have to be ashamed
of loving him.
452
00:32:57,575 --> 00:33:00,395
Gary's a wonderful man.
453
00:33:03,315 --> 00:33:05,005
I'm so close to Patty still.
454
00:33:05,205 --> 00:33:07,975
She's just sick over the whole thing.
455
00:33:08,175 --> 00:33:10,595
She feels terribly about what she did
and how she reacted.
456
00:33:10,795 --> 00:33:13,145
But now he won't talk to her or the boys.
457
00:33:13,345 --> 00:33:14,815
And I know he's hurt,
458
00:33:15,015 --> 00:33:18,395
but she really worries about him,
especially now all by himself--
459
00:33:18,595 --> 00:33:21,875
I'm sorry. Patty...
Patty wants to talk to Gary?
460
00:33:23,125 --> 00:33:26,785
Oh, more than anything.
461
00:33:26,985 --> 00:33:31,515
She's been begging him
to at least just clear the air before he--
462
00:33:32,515 --> 00:33:33,805
You know, just...
463
00:33:35,515 --> 00:33:36,895
Right. That's...
464
00:33:38,645 --> 00:33:39,875
I didn't know that.
465
00:33:40,075 --> 00:33:41,465
I did not know that.
466
00:33:41,665 --> 00:33:44,855
Well, must be awkward.
467
00:33:46,405 --> 00:33:47,845
- For Gary.
- Yeah.
468
00:33:48,045 --> 00:33:52,485
He must not tell you things about the ex.
469
00:33:53,745 --> 00:33:54,935
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
470
00:33:55,135 --> 00:34:01,955
So all that's to say,
no more sneaking around, Mr Estate Agent.
471
00:34:02,455 --> 00:34:06,195
I'm a cool Christian.
I'm down with the gays.
472
00:34:06,395 --> 00:34:09,595
I may just not bake a cake
for your wedding.
473
00:34:10,545 --> 00:34:13,495
Yeah, well, you already established
you don't have any flour.
474
00:34:13,695 --> 00:34:15,875
Yeah! You got me there!
475
00:34:16,075 --> 00:34:20,125
Oh, where's Gary?
I wanna see you two sinners in action.
476
00:34:20,325 --> 00:34:21,505
Gary!
477
00:34:21,705 --> 00:34:24,025
What the fuck?
478
00:34:27,145 --> 00:34:29,485
- Gary.
- Sandy!
479
00:34:30,865 --> 00:34:34,865
Honey! You did not spill all those cosmos!
480
00:34:35,745 --> 00:34:36,575
Cosmos?
481
00:34:37,365 --> 00:34:41,775
Yes! You got the whole pitcher
right down the front of you.
482
00:34:41,975 --> 00:34:43,645
- Cosmos?
- Yes.
483
00:34:43,845 --> 00:34:47,315
Yes, we were having
Sex and the City role-play night.
484
00:34:47,515 --> 00:34:48,465
Yes.
485
00:34:56,305 --> 00:34:59,295
Well, let's get another pitcher going,
486
00:34:59,485 --> 00:35:05,185
because I'm Samantha, and I love fucking.
487
00:35:08,945 --> 00:35:10,805
Yes, you do, you little scamp.
488
00:35:11,005 --> 00:35:14,195
Church girls know how to kneel.
489
00:35:15,285 --> 00:35:19,645
I'm gonna just make
some more cosmos, then.
490
00:35:19,845 --> 00:35:22,525
- You are such a fucking Charlotte.
- This is so exciting!
491
00:35:22,725 --> 00:35:26,835
It's been ages
since I've had a girls' night like this.
492
00:35:28,835 --> 00:35:30,445
Where's the bathroom again?
493
00:35:30,645 --> 00:35:35,245
I... When I get excited,
I get a little loose down there.
494
00:35:35,445 --> 00:35:36,825
Oh, Jesus.
495
00:35:37,025 --> 00:35:39,625
Okay, I'm gonna just cue up
the second movie.
496
00:35:39,825 --> 00:35:41,245
Everyone's favourite.
497
00:35:41,445 --> 00:35:43,145
Bathroom's right to the left.
498
00:35:46,725 --> 00:35:48,685
Right to the left.
499
00:35:52,945 --> 00:35:54,155
Right to the left.
500
00:35:57,485 --> 00:35:59,265
Why are we watching
Sex and the City 2?
501
00:35:59,465 --> 00:36:01,765
You are being such an Aidan.
I need you to be a Mr Big.
502
00:36:01,965 --> 00:36:05,415
- I have no idea what that even means.
- At least I tell the truth, you bitch.
503
00:36:06,125 --> 00:36:07,165
- What?
- Shut up!
504
00:36:07,795 --> 00:36:08,625
Right...
505
00:36:10,215 --> 00:36:11,715
to the left.
506
00:36:12,425 --> 00:36:15,925
We can dump the body
after
Sex and the City, but now, chill.
507
00:36:19,095 --> 00:36:23,915
- Oh, my God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
- Sandy, this is not what it looks like.
508
00:36:24,115 --> 00:36:26,515
- It's not?
- No, it's not.
509
00:36:27,105 --> 00:36:28,895
Okay.
510
00:36:29,565 --> 00:36:31,465
You're right, it's not.
511
00:36:31,665 --> 00:36:33,905
- Sandy...
- You know what? Just...
512
00:36:34,405 --> 00:36:41,145
Let's just 86 the request on the flour,
513
00:36:41,345 --> 00:36:48,205
because I just remembered
that I have some in my pool.
514
00:36:50,205 --> 00:36:53,445
And I would just like to add here,
515
00:36:53,645 --> 00:36:58,405
in no way do I believe
that you are going to hell,
516
00:36:58,605 --> 00:37:02,665
at least not just for being gay.
517
00:37:02,865 --> 00:37:08,875
So I'm just gonna find my way to the door
and then I'm gonna be out of here!
518
00:37:09,075 --> 00:37:10,295
Sandy, wait!
519
00:37:10,495 --> 00:37:12,675
You're gay,
you're supposed to be nice people!
520
00:37:12,875 --> 00:37:13,645
Please.
521
00:37:14,445 --> 00:37:15,425
Sandy.
522
00:37:15,625 --> 00:37:16,765
You locked me in!
523
00:37:16,965 --> 00:37:18,225
No. No, no. Sandy.
524
00:37:18,425 --> 00:37:20,015
You're trying to kill me!
525
00:37:20,215 --> 00:37:23,325
- We're not. It's unlocked, actually.
- Pull, don't push, hon.
526
00:37:25,115 --> 00:37:26,995
Sandy! Sandy!
527
00:37:28,535 --> 00:37:29,955
Sandy! Sandy!
528
00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:32,405
- Sandy!
- Sandykins!
529
00:37:32,605 --> 00:37:33,795
Sandy?
530
00:37:34,675 --> 00:37:35,715
Sandy?
531
00:37:38,755 --> 00:37:40,075
We're not gonna hurt you, babe!
532
00:37:40,275 --> 00:37:42,595
Is she astral-projecting?
Where the fuck did she go?
533
00:37:49,185 --> 00:37:49,965
Sandy?
534
00:37:50,165 --> 00:37:51,295
Sandy.
535
00:37:51,495 --> 00:37:52,435
Sandy!
536
00:37:52,935 --> 00:37:53,885
Come out, babe.
537
00:37:54,085 --> 00:37:54,855
Sandy!
538
00:38:01,735 --> 00:38:02,735
Sandy!
539
00:38:06,955 --> 00:38:07,955
Gary?
540
00:38:08,915 --> 00:38:12,695
I have just taken a fistful of drugs,
541
00:38:12,895 --> 00:38:16,525
and I will be sedated or dead
within minutes,
542
00:38:16,725 --> 00:38:21,655
feeling none of the sick,
twisted, homosexual depravity
543
00:38:21,855 --> 00:38:25,975
you subject my Christ-like body to!
544
00:38:27,135 --> 00:38:27,975
Pills!
545
00:38:30,105 --> 00:38:31,415
- Sandy!
- Sandy!
546
00:38:31,615 --> 00:38:32,395
Sandy!
547
00:38:42,405 --> 00:38:43,445
Sandy?
548
00:38:44,655 --> 00:38:45,785
Sandy?
549
00:38:46,495 --> 00:38:49,605
- What in the
Hoarders hell?
- Welcome to my old life.
550
00:38:49,805 --> 00:38:53,195
Sandy, listen. I'm really concerned
about the amount of pills you've taken.
551
00:38:53,385 --> 00:38:57,255
And if you have more,
I would absolutely buy them off of you.
552
00:38:59,925 --> 00:39:00,755
Where is she?
553
00:39:02,595 --> 00:39:04,455
- She's not here.
- Of course she's not here.
554
00:39:04,655 --> 00:39:06,825
Why do you even have a dog cage?
555
00:39:07,025 --> 00:39:08,165
It was Duke's.
556
00:39:08,365 --> 00:39:10,955
Right, the dog you Nicole Kidman'd
into the lake.
557
00:39:11,155 --> 00:39:13,005
Virginia Woolf'd, and yes.
558
00:39:13,205 --> 00:39:15,625
- And you still keep his cage?
- To remember him by!
559
00:39:15,825 --> 00:39:17,925
You need to learn to let things go.
It's not healthy.
560
00:39:18,125 --> 00:39:20,595
You mean, you're in a position
to tell me what's healthy?
561
00:39:20,795 --> 00:39:23,155
You hear that? The closet. The closet!
562
00:39:34,875 --> 00:39:35,875
Sandy?
563
00:39:38,165 --> 00:39:40,465
- It's jammed.
- Move, move, move.
564
00:39:44,595 --> 00:39:47,915
- All right, it's obviously locked.
- You can't lock a closet from the inside.
565
00:39:48,115 --> 00:39:51,225
- Says the expert on being in the closet.
- You know what, shut up.
566
00:39:52,185 --> 00:39:53,335
I can let go of things.
567
00:39:53,535 --> 00:39:56,125
I prefer to have the physical evidence
that I was actually here.
568
00:39:56,325 --> 00:39:59,135
Okay, I don't really know if a dog crate
is the best example of that.
569
00:39:59,335 --> 00:40:01,715
- Is everything a joke to you?
- That wasn't a joke.
570
00:40:01,915 --> 00:40:04,735
You ever stop
to consider anybody else's feelings ever?
571
00:40:05,445 --> 00:40:08,015
You wanna talk about
other people's feelings?
572
00:40:08,215 --> 00:40:11,955
Let's talk about how you don't have
the balls to call your own family back.
573
00:40:13,625 --> 00:40:14,955
How do you know that?
574
00:40:16,995 --> 00:40:17,775
Yeah.
575
00:40:17,975 --> 00:40:20,445
She said Patty wants to talk to you,
but you just refuse.
576
00:40:20,645 --> 00:40:23,005
- You wouldn't understand.
- So you're gay.
577
00:40:23,635 --> 00:40:26,035
So they reacted badly. Call them back.
578
00:40:26,235 --> 00:40:31,265
Okay, let me take some advice from a kid
who gives happy endings for a living.
579
00:40:32,345 --> 00:40:35,335
The operative word there is "happy,"
you sad fuck.
580
00:40:35,535 --> 00:40:37,225
- Oh, I'm sad?
- Yeah.
581
00:40:37,815 --> 00:40:41,775
Why don't you examine your own
uneducated existence, you Jezebel!
582
00:40:44,025 --> 00:40:45,445
Jezebel?
583
00:40:46,025 --> 00:40:49,345
When I find out who Jezebel is,
I assume I'm gonna be so mad at you!
584
00:40:49,545 --> 00:40:50,475
Don't follow me!
585
00:40:50,675 --> 00:40:51,895
Hey, you know what?
586
00:40:52,095 --> 00:40:55,275
Your life isn't the only one that changed
when you decided to come out.
587
00:40:55,475 --> 00:40:57,895
I had to be someone I hated for them!
588
00:40:58,095 --> 00:41:00,955
- And that's not their fault.
- And you think I don't know that?
589
00:41:01,795 --> 00:41:04,295
Gary. Gary, where are you going?
590
00:41:05,885 --> 00:41:06,715
Fuck!
591
00:41:33,495 --> 00:41:35,955
I always did what I was supposed to do.
592
00:41:38,335 --> 00:41:39,705
I went to church.
593
00:41:43,965 --> 00:41:45,445
I married young.
594
00:41:45,645 --> 00:41:47,865
I had kids
when I was younger than you are!
595
00:41:48,065 --> 00:41:50,535
Imagine if I had a kid right now.
That'd be so toxic.
596
00:41:50,735 --> 00:41:52,765
I followed all the rules!
597
00:41:54,975 --> 00:41:57,975
I didn't smoke. I drank in moderation.
598
00:41:59,935 --> 00:42:01,875
I cut fat out of my diet in the '90s
599
00:42:02,075 --> 00:42:04,895
and put it back in 2013
when avocados got big!
600
00:42:05,525 --> 00:42:08,105
- Okay.
- My whole life, I've been good!
601
00:42:09,945 --> 00:42:11,525
A good husband.
602
00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:15,035
A good father.
603
00:42:15,825 --> 00:42:18,165
Okay. That was a little bit hard.
604
00:42:18,875 --> 00:42:20,165
A good man!
605
00:42:22,245 --> 00:42:25,125
I didn't enjoy any of it!
606
00:42:27,585 --> 00:42:29,615
Gary, seriously,
you just hit my fucking head.
607
00:42:29,815 --> 00:42:30,845
And you know what?
608
00:42:32,005 --> 00:42:33,745
There is a part of me,
609
00:42:33,945 --> 00:42:37,495
some terrible part of me,
that blames them. But it's my fault!
610
00:42:37,695 --> 00:42:40,555
It's all my fault! It's my fault!
611
00:42:43,225 --> 00:42:44,065
Oh, my God.
612
00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:45,795
It's my fault.
613
00:42:45,995 --> 00:42:48,655
Gary? Gary, Gary!
614
00:42:49,275 --> 00:42:52,935
- Gary. Hey, just breathe. Come on.
- I can't breathe.
615
00:42:53,125 --> 00:42:55,155
Come on. Come on.
616
00:42:55,995 --> 00:42:59,015
- You're okay. I know.
- I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
617
00:42:59,215 --> 00:43:01,075
- Breathe. Breathe.
- I can't breathe.
618
00:43:02,285 --> 00:43:05,955
I can't breathe. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
619
00:43:07,545 --> 00:43:10,545
I'm sorry for calling you Jezebel.
620
00:43:11,045 --> 00:43:13,285
I don't even know who Jezebel is.
621
00:43:13,485 --> 00:43:17,845
But if she's anything like me, we stan.
Is she hot?
622
00:43:24,605 --> 00:43:28,345
You know, I actually envy you, Gary.
623
00:43:28,535 --> 00:43:31,485
- Oh, please.
- No, seriously, I do.
624
00:43:32,155 --> 00:43:35,685
You spent your whole life
lying to everyone about everything,
625
00:43:35,885 --> 00:43:37,865
but you still have a lot to show for it.
626
00:43:38,365 --> 00:43:42,455
You do. You're having a panic attack
on your own damn tennis court!
627
00:43:52,175 --> 00:43:55,385
My dad didn't even acknowledge
when I told him I was gay.
628
00:43:58,055 --> 00:44:00,095
He just said, "Not to me, you're not."
629
00:44:01,595 --> 00:44:05,145
And then he went back to watching TV
like it never happened.
630
00:44:08,355 --> 00:44:13,655
Next day, I left a note on my bed,
drove away, never to return.
631
00:44:16,445 --> 00:44:17,865
What did the note say?
632
00:44:20,745 --> 00:44:22,225
"Fuck you, you bigoted fat fuck.
633
00:44:22,425 --> 00:44:24,745
Your son's a sissy whore faggot
who loves it in the ass."
634
00:44:26,085 --> 00:44:29,705
Or something to that effect.
I can't really remember, but...
635
00:44:31,465 --> 00:44:33,175
He actually meant well, I think.
636
00:44:34,005 --> 00:44:37,635
In his own weird, demented way, he...
637
00:44:40,305 --> 00:44:42,935
He thought that if I was gay,
he had to stop loving me.
638
00:44:44,845 --> 00:44:48,315
So he chose to ignore it
because he wanted to keep loving his son.
639
00:44:49,935 --> 00:44:52,645
But loving someone with conditions
isn't love, it's...
640
00:44:55,025 --> 00:44:55,865
prison.
641
00:45:01,615 --> 00:45:03,245
You're a good man, Cam.
642
00:45:08,375 --> 00:45:12,695
Yeah, based on tonight, I don't think
either one of us is technically that good,
643
00:45:12,895 --> 00:45:14,375
but I appreciate that.
644
00:45:19,345 --> 00:45:23,165
Well, at least it's some relief
knowing there are people out there
645
00:45:23,365 --> 00:45:25,305
being worse than us in the world.
646
00:45:27,265 --> 00:45:28,105
Yeah.
647
00:45:29,475 --> 00:45:30,315
Yeah.
648
00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:34,195
What did you just say?
649
00:45:36,195 --> 00:45:38,115
There are worse people in the world?
650
00:45:40,195 --> 00:45:43,105
Gary. Gary, you're a fucking genius.
651
00:45:43,295 --> 00:45:45,065
- I am?
- Yes! Yes!
652
00:45:45,255 --> 00:45:48,565
We just have
to find somebody worse than us.
653
00:45:48,765 --> 00:45:53,445
Someone that is so insane and deranged,
they'll get us out of this whole mess.
654
00:45:53,645 --> 00:45:56,255
- All we have to do is--
- Get back on Plungr.
655
00:45:57,005 --> 00:45:59,595
The beginning and the end
of all of life's problems.
656
00:46:01,635 --> 00:46:03,955
You have got to work
on your internalised homophobia.
657
00:46:04,155 --> 00:46:05,595
It is seriously shocking.
658
00:46:07,185 --> 00:46:08,805
Let's go, Gary!
659
00:46:11,765 --> 00:46:13,145
"Let's go, Gary."
660
00:46:20,365 --> 00:46:23,035
- What are you doing?
- The dark web, Gary.
661
00:46:24,695 --> 00:46:28,225
- On Looking2Succ's phone?
- You want it traced back to yours?
662
00:46:28,425 --> 00:46:29,375
Hold this.
663
00:46:30,495 --> 00:46:32,695
- Do the facial recognition!
- Jesus Christ.
664
00:46:32,895 --> 00:46:33,665
Do it!
665
00:46:39,755 --> 00:46:41,325
- What happens now?
- I'm doing it, Gary.
666
00:46:41,525 --> 00:46:43,215
- Doing what?
- The dark web.
667
00:46:48,015 --> 00:46:49,915
- Is it hard to do?
- Honey!
668
00:46:50,115 --> 00:46:52,065
Why don't you make us
some coffee or something?
669
00:46:55,275 --> 00:46:57,635
Okay. "Church organist,
can play with or without pipes."
670
00:46:57,835 --> 00:47:00,765
Why would a church organist advertise
on the dark web?
671
00:47:00,965 --> 00:47:03,475
- It's code.
- For what? Sex stuff?
672
00:47:03,675 --> 00:47:05,245
Organ harvesting, duh.
673
00:47:07,535 --> 00:47:10,115
"Circus, Circus, Tigers,
and Bears, Oh, Die."
674
00:47:10,915 --> 00:47:12,025
I don't think I wanna know.
675
00:47:12,225 --> 00:47:14,335
They're either into bestiality
or an arms dealer.
676
00:47:15,085 --> 00:47:17,405
Those are two very different things.
677
00:47:17,605 --> 00:47:19,045
One would think.
678
00:47:21,085 --> 00:47:23,045
Okay, this one says, "Shit on my chest."
679
00:47:24,005 --> 00:47:27,975
Shit. Okay, so shit's brown.
Brown is also the colour of dirt.
680
00:47:29,135 --> 00:47:33,715
Chest, like burying a chest?
Like treasure? Like pirates?
681
00:47:33,905 --> 00:47:36,775
They literally just want someone
to shit on their chest, Gary.
682
00:47:38,275 --> 00:47:41,985
Right? It's like, "Go back to Plungr
where you belong, scat queen."
683
00:47:43,445 --> 00:47:45,515
Gary. Gary, this is our guy.
684
00:47:45,715 --> 00:47:48,895
"Fleshpuppet.
Collecting lifeless lamb chops for play,
685
00:47:49,095 --> 00:47:52,105
with no strings to hold me down,
or attached."
686
00:47:52,305 --> 00:47:55,315
- "Fleshpuppet"?
- Geppetto would never.
687
00:47:55,515 --> 00:47:58,905
"Collecting lifeless lamb chops for play"?
688
00:47:59,105 --> 00:48:01,325
- I don't like the sound of that.
- I do.
689
00:48:01,525 --> 00:48:03,905
Let him take this literal 6'2" lamb chop
off our hands.
690
00:48:04,105 --> 00:48:06,325
What does he want with dead bodies?
691
00:48:06,525 --> 00:48:08,535
Fuck them, eat them,
fuck them and eat them,
692
00:48:08,735 --> 00:48:09,915
fuck them while eating them,
693
00:48:10,115 --> 00:48:12,085
make a skin suit out of them,
sell them for parts,
694
00:48:12,285 --> 00:48:13,335
dress them up like his mom.
695
00:48:13,535 --> 00:48:16,125
The list goes on and on.
Haven't you ever seen a movie before?
696
00:48:16,325 --> 00:48:19,255
Anyway, that's none of our business, okay?
We are just the supplier.
697
00:48:19,455 --> 00:48:22,005
Do not go getting
a moral compass on me again.
698
00:48:22,205 --> 00:48:24,595
We should probably clean ourselves up
before he comes over.
699
00:48:24,795 --> 00:48:26,425
Does that really matter at this point?
700
00:48:26,625 --> 00:48:28,475
Gary, just because you're dying
does not mean
701
00:48:28,675 --> 00:48:30,145
you shouldn't always look your best.
702
00:48:30,345 --> 00:48:33,145
I was not talking about my appearance.
I was talking about the blood.
703
00:48:33,345 --> 00:48:36,775
Oh, my God, Gary, you're right.
We need to give you a makeover!
704
00:48:36,975 --> 00:48:38,915
- Cameron, no.
- Yes!
705
00:49:33,765 --> 00:49:36,555
Ta-da!
706
00:49:38,395 --> 00:49:39,515
Okay.
707
00:49:40,565 --> 00:49:42,835
I look like me, but in blue.
708
00:49:43,035 --> 00:49:43,985
Yeah.
709
00:49:44,985 --> 00:49:48,945
You are a total zaddy, Gary.
710
00:49:50,785 --> 00:49:54,225
Okay. I am a cool...
711
00:49:54,425 --> 00:49:56,955
hot zaddy.
712
00:49:58,165 --> 00:50:01,025
- Can you please not smoke inside?
- It's not smoke, it's vaping.
713
00:50:01,225 --> 00:50:02,155
Just don't do it inside.
714
00:50:02,345 --> 00:50:04,525
We killed a man two hours ago,
but I can't vape inside?
715
00:50:04,725 --> 00:50:06,155
Accidentally killed a man.
716
00:50:06,355 --> 00:50:08,575
Isn't weed supposed to be good for you,
with the cancer?
717
00:50:08,775 --> 00:50:11,715
- I prefer edibles.
- No, too many carbs.
718
00:50:12,595 --> 00:50:13,635
Screw it.
719
00:50:15,175 --> 00:50:17,665
- How do I work it?
- You just press the button.
720
00:50:17,865 --> 00:50:19,625
- Hold it? Press it?
- And inhale.
721
00:50:19,825 --> 00:50:20,765
And then what?
722
00:50:22,015 --> 00:50:23,355
- Fleshpuppet.
- Fleshpuppet.
723
00:50:27,945 --> 00:50:30,315
- Oh, my God.
- Buck.
724
00:50:33,865 --> 00:50:35,455
I'm Gary.
725
00:50:36,285 --> 00:50:38,145
All right, Gary.
You gonna let me in or what?
726
00:50:38,345 --> 00:50:39,375
Oh, yeah.
727
00:50:41,415 --> 00:50:42,245
Cool.
728
00:50:46,165 --> 00:50:49,425
Oh, my God.
729
00:50:51,005 --> 00:50:53,385
Who are you?
730
00:50:54,715 --> 00:50:57,475
Cameron, this is Buck.
731
00:50:58,385 --> 00:50:59,645
Fleshpuppet?
732
00:51:01,855 --> 00:51:02,685
Buck.
733
00:51:05,065 --> 00:51:08,295
- You're, like, hot.
- Yeah, I know. Life ain't fair.
734
00:51:08,495 --> 00:51:10,105
So where's the body?
735
00:51:10,695 --> 00:51:12,885
Quick question before we begin.
736
00:51:13,085 --> 00:51:14,345
- Are you a cop?
- A cop?
737
00:51:14,545 --> 00:51:17,475
- Yes.
- What? No! Wait, are you?
738
00:51:17,675 --> 00:51:18,895
No.
739
00:51:19,095 --> 00:51:21,685
Are you? You kind of look like a cop.
740
00:51:21,885 --> 00:51:25,195
- Oh, thank you.
- That's not a compliment.
741
00:51:25,395 --> 00:51:28,585
No, I'm not a cop at all.
Of course not, I'm not a cop.
742
00:51:29,255 --> 00:51:32,575
Good. 'Cause the dark web's
built on trust.
743
00:51:32,775 --> 00:51:34,255
Stitch that into a pillow.
744
00:51:36,465 --> 00:51:41,755
Where are my manners, Buck?
Can I offer you something to drink?
745
00:51:41,945 --> 00:51:42,755
Y'all got Red Bull?
746
00:51:42,955 --> 00:51:45,395
- Oh, my God. I wish.
- That's the one thing I don't have.
747
00:51:46,065 --> 00:51:47,185
Fuck!
748
00:51:47,775 --> 00:51:50,305
I don't know exactly
how to get this thing started,
749
00:51:50,495 --> 00:51:53,885
so why don't I just tell you a little bit
about how we got into this pickle?
750
00:51:54,085 --> 00:51:56,935
Cameron and I invited over
this gentleman--
751
00:51:57,135 --> 00:51:58,285
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
752
00:51:58,865 --> 00:52:01,435
- The body's a man?
- Yes.
753
00:52:01,635 --> 00:52:02,575
Is that okay?
754
00:52:03,915 --> 00:52:06,985
- Body's a body.
- Oh, my God. Progressive. You're hot.
755
00:52:07,185 --> 00:52:10,575
Okay. So we invited over
this lovely gentleman.
756
00:52:10,765 --> 00:52:13,615
Well, we thought he was lovely.
It turns out that he was really angry--
757
00:52:13,815 --> 00:52:16,715
This closeted fuck came over
and fell out the window, all right?
758
00:52:17,305 --> 00:52:19,495
- That sounds ambiguous.
- No, no.
759
00:52:19,695 --> 00:52:23,125
We assure you that everything
that happened was an accident.
760
00:52:23,325 --> 00:52:25,545
- Where did you kill him?
- Right outside.
761
00:52:25,745 --> 00:52:27,465
- You moved the body?
- It's in the closet.
762
00:52:27,665 --> 00:52:30,715
That makes your cleanup much trickier.
You guys ever seen
Gone Girl?
763
00:52:30,915 --> 00:52:32,805
Just the part with Ben Affleck's dick.
764
00:52:33,005 --> 00:52:34,215
- Gary.
- What?
765
00:52:34,415 --> 00:52:37,905
So you guys have never dealt
with a crime scene cleanup before.
766
00:52:39,115 --> 00:52:40,355
- No.
- No. No.
767
00:52:40,545 --> 00:52:41,355
Well...
768
00:52:41,555 --> 00:52:43,365
Lucky for you guys, I come prepared.
769
00:52:44,075 --> 00:52:46,025
All right. A little bit about me.
770
00:52:46,225 --> 00:52:49,025
I'm a Capricorn with Cancer rising.
771
00:52:49,225 --> 00:52:51,065
I love long-distance running,
772
00:52:51,265 --> 00:52:53,695
old science textbooks,
and fucking dead bodies.
773
00:52:53,895 --> 00:52:56,495
Oh, my God. I am such a sucker
for Capricorns, Gary.
774
00:52:56,695 --> 00:52:59,205
Because I'm a Christian,
I'll walk you through the deep clean,
775
00:52:59,405 --> 00:53:01,575
but you're gonna have to do
the legwork yourself.
776
00:53:01,775 --> 00:53:05,555
All I need in return is the body,
no questions asked.
777
00:53:06,355 --> 00:53:11,335
I'm sorry, just the one question
about "fucking dead bodies"?
778
00:53:11,535 --> 00:53:12,595
No questions asked.
779
00:53:12,795 --> 00:53:14,175
Right, but just the one question
780
00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:15,675
- before no questions.
- No, no, no.
781
00:53:15,875 --> 00:53:19,975
That's all, that's all, that's all.
Thank you so much, Mr Fleshpuppet.
782
00:53:20,175 --> 00:53:21,805
- I'm having second thoughts.
- Too late.
783
00:53:22,005 --> 00:53:23,265
What do you care what he does to the body?
784
00:53:23,465 --> 00:53:25,855
- I care.
- Wanna keep it? Put it in the freezer?
785
00:53:26,055 --> 00:53:27,645
- I don't wanna keep it.
- Ut-shay up-yay!
786
00:53:27,845 --> 00:53:29,705
Get me out of here!
787
00:53:33,215 --> 00:53:35,905
Sounds like you got more than one problem
on your hands, boys.
788
00:53:36,105 --> 00:53:39,705
- No, just
Sex and the City.
- No, that's
Real Housewives of...
789
00:53:39,905 --> 00:53:40,995
- Reno.
- Reno.
790
00:53:41,195 --> 00:53:42,425
Marathon.
791
00:53:43,385 --> 00:53:46,305
- We're Bravoheads.
- Bravo.
792
00:53:48,265 --> 00:53:50,795
All right. Y'all got oxygen-based bleach?
793
00:53:50,995 --> 00:53:52,065
I'll go check.
794
00:53:58,365 --> 00:54:00,275
Banging fucking house, Gary.
795
00:54:01,825 --> 00:54:04,245
- Thank you.
- What's this?
796
00:54:07,535 --> 00:54:09,955
Put that down. Please.
797
00:54:11,545 --> 00:54:13,205
It's just very delicate.
798
00:54:21,385 --> 00:54:22,385
Thank you.
799
00:54:29,645 --> 00:54:32,425
You guys are making
very quick work of this.
800
00:54:32,615 --> 00:54:34,985
I'm impressed.
I might have to hire you guys.
801
00:54:36,855 --> 00:54:40,095
Yeah. Thank you for all of your help.
802
00:54:40,295 --> 00:54:43,615
Yeah. I mean, crime-scene cleaning
can be so exhausting.
803
00:54:45,655 --> 00:54:47,605
You guys mind if I take a smoke break?
804
00:54:47,805 --> 00:54:49,825
- I think we should keep working through--
- Gary.
805
00:54:51,085 --> 00:54:52,895
Fine. Patio's just--
806
00:54:53,095 --> 00:54:55,365
We already vaped inside.
Who cares if he smokes?
807
00:54:55,555 --> 00:54:57,165
Yeah, you're the guest.
808
00:55:09,805 --> 00:55:11,185
Oh, did you want some?
809
00:55:12,225 --> 00:55:14,025
I thought you would never ask.
810
00:55:14,895 --> 00:55:17,925
Oh, sorry.
Gary, did you wanna hit it first?
811
00:55:18,125 --> 00:55:20,525
Oh, yes, for the host with the most.
812
00:55:21,365 --> 00:55:23,115
- Go on.
- No, I'm fine.
813
00:55:23,695 --> 00:55:24,845
Suit yourself, narc.
814
00:55:25,045 --> 00:55:27,615
Would you just excuse us
for one second, please?
815
00:55:28,155 --> 00:55:29,575
You're trying to embarrass me?
816
00:55:35,705 --> 00:55:38,695
- Get in here.
- Crack is where I draw the line.
817
00:55:38,895 --> 00:55:39,825
Gary--
818
00:55:40,025 --> 00:55:43,365
- Oh, my God, this powder room.
- Well...
819
00:55:43,565 --> 00:55:46,415
This was Patty's design.
I would take a more minimalist approach.
820
00:55:46,615 --> 00:55:49,475
Wow, you gave her one room to decorate.
You are an oppressor.
821
00:55:54,645 --> 00:55:57,255
Okay, speaking of,
can you please be cool out there?
822
00:55:57,455 --> 00:55:59,005
There is nothing cool about crack!
823
00:55:59,205 --> 00:56:01,805
Do you know how hard it is
to get crack offered to you guilt-free?
824
00:56:02,005 --> 00:56:03,095
- "Guilt-free"?
- Yeah.
825
00:56:03,295 --> 00:56:05,725
This isn't a fucking
cauliflower-crust pizza, Cameron.
826
00:56:05,925 --> 00:56:06,885
It's a Class A narcotic!
827
00:56:07,085 --> 00:56:10,575
Gary, do you know how much crack
I'd be smoking if I was dying right now?
828
00:56:11,205 --> 00:56:12,935
- A lot.
- Yes, that is correct. A lot.
829
00:56:13,135 --> 00:56:14,605
A lot of fucking crack!
830
00:56:14,805 --> 00:56:16,985
How does that song go?
"Smoke crack like you're dying."
831
00:56:17,185 --> 00:56:19,445
I've never heard it,
but I'm sure that's not how it goes.
832
00:56:19,645 --> 00:56:20,525
Whatever. It's a remix.
833
00:56:20,725 --> 00:56:23,405
We are gonna go out there
and smoke a shit-ton of crack
834
00:56:23,605 --> 00:56:25,405
with the guy who's gonna get
this dead body off our hands.
835
00:56:25,605 --> 00:56:27,115
- And you'll be cool about it!
- Cameron.
836
00:56:27,315 --> 00:56:28,095
- No!
- Yes!
837
00:56:33,055 --> 00:56:35,715
Nicely done, papa.
838
00:56:35,905 --> 00:56:37,675
- Not too much, Cam.
- Get fucked.
839
00:56:37,875 --> 00:56:40,545
We just killed a man and there's
a sweet church lady in the closet.
840
00:56:40,745 --> 00:56:43,305
I knew there was a lady upstairs.
I love you guys.
841
00:56:43,505 --> 00:56:45,095
I'm gonna smoke as much crack as I want,
842
00:56:45,295 --> 00:56:47,885
because it's been a lot of firsts
for me too tonight, Gary.
843
00:56:48,085 --> 00:56:49,285
Where are you going?
844
00:56:57,415 --> 00:56:58,545
Holy shit.
845
00:57:00,335 --> 00:57:01,665
Fuck! I feel...
846
00:57:03,585 --> 00:57:04,755
I feel like...
847
00:57:06,135 --> 00:57:08,155
I remember my first light.
848
00:57:08,355 --> 00:57:12,425
It's like I took a flight,
a pleasure in your mind.
849
00:57:13,055 --> 00:57:14,745
It feels just right.
850
00:57:14,945 --> 00:57:17,015
Whoa! Did that just rhyme?
851
00:57:18,475 --> 00:57:21,275
- Did you hear that?
- No, I didn't hear anything.
852
00:57:21,985 --> 00:57:25,135
It's your subconscious, Gary.
Guilt's creeping in.
853
00:57:25,335 --> 00:57:27,315
Just ignore it. That's what I do.
854
00:57:32,285 --> 00:57:33,895
Did you hear that?
855
00:57:34,095 --> 00:57:36,995
That sound in your head,
it's like a popping sound.
856
00:57:43,375 --> 00:57:46,735
Totally normal.
It's your mind expanding, my friends.
857
00:57:46,935 --> 00:57:50,175
Just ignore the demons
and focus on the feeling.
858
00:57:51,265 --> 00:57:52,265
The feeling.
859
00:57:53,305 --> 00:57:54,595
I feel...
860
00:58:01,725 --> 00:58:02,775
I feel...
861
00:58:05,525 --> 00:58:06,675
Good.
862
00:58:06,875 --> 00:58:12,595
Where have
Where have you been all my life and
863
00:58:12,795 --> 00:58:15,395
Boy don't stop taking me
High
864
00:58:15,595 --> 00:58:19,395
Midnight in Brooklyn
You leaned in first
865
00:58:19,595 --> 00:58:23,195
I wasn't looking
But there you were
866
00:58:23,395 --> 00:58:26,905
My fallen angel
Calling my name, calling my name
867
00:58:27,105 --> 00:58:31,115
My fallen angel
Calling my name, calling my name
868
00:58:31,315 --> 00:58:34,825
Lost in a dark room
Walking on air
869
00:58:35,025 --> 00:58:38,545
Don't have to see you
To know you're there
870
00:58:38,745 --> 00:58:42,585
- Die for the way you're
- Dancing on me, dancing on me
871
00:58:42,785 --> 00:58:46,235
- Die for the way you're
- Dancing on me, dancing on me
872
00:58:47,355 --> 00:58:50,425
The way you make me feel
I swear you take me higher
873
00:58:50,625 --> 00:58:54,725
Yes, I'm your every desire
Take me home, but take me higher
874
00:58:54,925 --> 00:58:58,105
The way you make me feel
I swear you take me higher
875
00:58:58,305 --> 00:59:02,485
Yes, I'm your every desire
When you take me higher
876
00:59:02,685 --> 00:59:07,985
Where have
Where have you been all my life and
877
00:59:08,185 --> 00:59:11,035
Boy don't stop taking me
High
878
00:59:11,235 --> 00:59:14,785
Higher than I've ever been
High
879
00:59:14,985 --> 00:59:17,095
Higher than the heavens is
880
00:59:18,135 --> 00:59:23,715
No lie
No lie, your hands keep my hands tied
881
00:59:23,915 --> 00:59:26,175
Boy don't stop taking me
High
882
00:59:26,375 --> 00:59:30,005
Higher than I've ever been
High
883
00:59:30,205 --> 00:59:33,015
Higher than the heavens is
884
00:59:33,215 --> 00:59:36,265
Jump into diamonds
A thousand eyes
885
00:59:36,465 --> 00:59:40,935
Watching the silence
As we get higher
886
00:59:41,135 --> 00:59:42,665
Is this what it's like?
887
00:59:44,625 --> 00:59:45,625
What's like?
888
00:59:52,425 --> 00:59:55,595
Yeah, this is what it's like.
889
00:59:59,765 --> 01:00:00,765
Come on.
890
01:01:35,605 --> 01:01:38,135
Crack is so bad for you.
891
01:01:38,335 --> 01:01:40,035
Really, really bad.
892
01:01:40,905 --> 01:01:44,455
Very, very, very bad.
893
01:01:45,705 --> 01:01:46,705
For sure.
894
01:01:50,415 --> 01:01:52,915
You guys doing anything for the Rapture?
895
01:01:54,755 --> 01:01:56,925
- What?
- The Rapture.
896
01:01:57,585 --> 01:02:00,135
Doomsday. End times.
897
01:02:01,555 --> 01:02:04,625
I just finished building my bomb shelter.
898
01:02:04,825 --> 01:02:06,765
I got a full kit and everything.
899
01:02:07,395 --> 01:02:09,225
I put all my regalia in there.
900
01:02:10,395 --> 01:02:12,315
You guys are welcome to join me.
901
01:02:13,395 --> 01:02:14,775
Thanks, Fleshpuppet.
902
01:02:15,395 --> 01:02:16,905
What about you, narc?
903
01:02:20,235 --> 01:02:22,655
I don't think I'll be seeing
the end of the world.
904
01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:25,785
- Don't be such a pessimist.
- Hey.
905
01:02:26,325 --> 01:02:27,415
He's dying.
906
01:02:29,325 --> 01:02:32,495
- That's hot.
- Keep it in your pants.
907
01:02:33,835 --> 01:02:34,905
How much longer you got?
908
01:02:35,105 --> 01:02:37,125
Okay, that's so rude.
You don't ask people that.
909
01:02:40,545 --> 01:02:42,175
Wait, how much longer do you got?
910
01:02:43,595 --> 01:02:44,595
A month.
911
01:02:46,055 --> 01:02:48,435
- A month?
- Give or take.
912
01:02:54,645 --> 01:02:55,645
I'm gonna...
913
01:02:56,355 --> 01:02:57,635
I'm gonna let you guys
914
01:02:57,835 --> 01:03:00,885
Terms of Endearment it up together
for a little bit.
915
01:03:01,085 --> 01:03:04,445
Gary, I'm gonna go jack off
in one of your many bathrooms.
916
01:03:07,405 --> 01:03:09,285
That's okay. I think...
917
01:03:11,035 --> 01:03:12,915
we should all go inside now.
918
01:03:29,055 --> 01:03:30,685
Gary, I had no idea.
919
01:03:32,935 --> 01:03:34,435
I didn't tell you, so...
920
01:03:35,065 --> 01:03:36,525
I wish you would have.
921
01:03:38,445 --> 01:03:39,445
Cameron.
922
01:03:44,155 --> 01:03:45,615
Where's my egg?
923
01:03:50,075 --> 01:03:53,785
Well, gentlemen, that was fun.
924
01:03:54,375 --> 01:03:56,775
But I should probably collect my corpse
925
01:03:56,975 --> 01:03:59,235
and skedaddle
before the rest of the world wakes up.
926
01:03:59,435 --> 01:04:02,785
You know, can't be seen
dragging a dead body around
927
01:04:02,985 --> 01:04:04,595
in broad daylight, now, can we?
928
01:04:07,465 --> 01:04:08,885
Gary. Gary!
929
01:04:09,885 --> 01:04:12,545
- Give me my egg.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
930
01:04:12,745 --> 01:04:15,565
- Did you put it down your pants?
- No, that's my dick.
931
01:04:16,315 --> 01:04:17,965
We both saw your dick in the lake, Buck,
932
01:04:18,165 --> 01:04:20,425
and we can all agree
it doesn't look anything like that.
933
01:04:20,625 --> 01:04:23,425
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's be a little bit
empathetic to shrinkage, boys.
934
01:04:23,625 --> 01:04:25,555
That is my great-great-grandmother's
fucking egg,
935
01:04:25,755 --> 01:04:27,325
and you better fucking give it back.
936
01:04:31,035 --> 01:04:32,165
Or what?
937
01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:37,375
Boys. Boys.
938
01:04:38,005 --> 01:04:40,915
Come on, there's a better way
we can work this out, right?
939
01:04:41,755 --> 01:04:42,585
Right?
940
01:04:43,585 --> 01:04:46,615
All right. You're right. You're right.
941
01:04:46,815 --> 01:04:49,665
You caught me. Let's make a deal, okay?
942
01:04:49,865 --> 01:04:53,055
I will give you
your great-grandmother's egg back...
943
01:04:54,475 --> 01:04:56,685
if I can have your body after you go.
944
01:04:58,935 --> 01:05:02,095
Oh, my God. You sick fuck!
945
01:05:02,295 --> 01:05:03,555
Okay, okay. You wanna trade?
946
01:05:03,755 --> 01:05:05,635
Give him his egg back
and you can get your body.
947
01:05:05,835 --> 01:05:08,615
- Oh, that body's already mine.
- Well, that egg is fucking mine!
948
01:05:09,945 --> 01:05:12,515
Worms are gonna be eating
your dead gay ass in a month.
949
01:05:12,715 --> 01:05:13,975
What does it even matter?
950
01:05:14,175 --> 01:05:14,955
Jesus.
951
01:05:16,375 --> 01:05:17,205
Yeah.
952
01:05:19,375 --> 01:05:21,735
What does anything fucking matter?
953
01:05:21,935 --> 01:05:23,025
Yeah.
954
01:05:23,225 --> 01:05:25,325
What, did I say something insensitive?
Why is he--?
955
01:05:25,525 --> 01:05:29,805
- Okay, you know what? Fuck you.
- It's cute you care about your friend.
956
01:05:30,765 --> 01:05:32,055
All right, fine. What do you want?
957
01:05:33,385 --> 01:05:35,955
- I get the dead guy's truck.
- Why do you want a truck?
958
01:05:36,155 --> 01:05:38,125
I Uber'd here.
I lost everything in the divorce.
959
01:05:38,325 --> 01:05:40,895
All right. Whatever. Sure. Deal.
960
01:05:45,945 --> 01:05:47,315
My dick isn't tiny.
961
01:05:48,155 --> 01:05:49,725
No, I need you to verbalise it for me.
962
01:05:49,925 --> 01:05:51,155
- Tell me.
- Seriously?
963
01:05:51,905 --> 01:05:54,015
- Okay, your dick is not tiny.
- Thank you.
964
01:05:54,215 --> 01:05:58,065
Okay. All right.
Now let's go get you your dead body.
965
01:05:58,265 --> 01:05:59,835
Finally. Jesus.
966
01:06:00,745 --> 01:06:03,985
So he has a habit of falling out,
so just keep that in mind.
967
01:06:04,185 --> 01:06:06,545
- This ain't my first rodeo, pal.
- Hey.
968
01:06:07,795 --> 01:06:11,075
- I don't want Buck to have the body.
- Gary, it's practically rush hour.
969
01:06:11,275 --> 01:06:13,475
No, we cannot give the body to this...
970
01:06:14,225 --> 01:06:16,345
twisted, dark-sided psychopath.
971
01:06:16,935 --> 01:06:20,415
Okay, I'm starting to feel judged,
and I'm about to get mad.
972
01:06:20,615 --> 01:06:22,885
No, no, don't get mad.
We're gonna give you your body.
973
01:06:23,075 --> 01:06:25,885
- He deserves a proper burial.
- Jesus Christ, I'm not an animal.
974
01:06:26,085 --> 01:06:28,425
I'm gonna bury him
after I'm done fucking him. Jesus.
975
01:06:28,625 --> 01:06:30,675
- Open the door and give me the body.
- Don't open the door.
976
01:06:30,875 --> 01:06:32,645
Open the door. Open the door.
977
01:06:32,835 --> 01:06:35,015
- Do not open the door.
- Shut up! Open the fucking door!
978
01:06:35,215 --> 01:06:37,115
- I'm opening the fucking door!
- Thank you.
979
01:06:39,955 --> 01:06:41,745
- What the fuck?
- What the fuck?
980
01:06:44,255 --> 01:06:45,375
Shit.
981
01:06:55,135 --> 01:06:58,585
What the fuck?
He's still alive, you fucking idiots.
982
01:06:58,785 --> 01:06:59,975
We're in the clear!
983
01:07:00,805 --> 01:07:02,335
- I'm not gay!
- Babe, what?
984
01:07:02,535 --> 01:07:04,505
I'm not gay! I'm not gay!
985
01:07:04,705 --> 01:07:07,925
Now, sir, you've been seriously injured.
986
01:07:08,125 --> 01:07:11,425
I'm afraid that if you don't get
medical attention, you could die.
987
01:07:11,625 --> 01:07:15,015
I can't have my family knowing I was here.
Don't call the cops, please.
988
01:07:15,215 --> 01:07:17,975
Please, please, just let me go.
989
01:07:18,175 --> 01:07:21,665
I swear to God I'll never suck cock again.
990
01:07:22,285 --> 01:07:25,455
You'd rather die
than have your family know you're gay?
991
01:07:26,045 --> 01:07:28,545
I'm not fucking gay!
992
01:07:36,925 --> 01:07:38,845
I'm not...
993
01:07:41,515 --> 01:07:42,515
gay.
994
01:07:49,355 --> 01:07:50,525
Got him.
995
01:07:54,325 --> 01:07:57,935
Oh, my God.
You fucking murdered him again!
996
01:07:58,135 --> 01:08:01,115
- Hey. It's my body.
- He wasn't dead!
997
01:08:02,705 --> 01:08:04,035
He's dead now.
998
01:08:08,335 --> 01:08:11,545
You know, I'm a little upset, guys.
999
01:08:12,135 --> 01:08:13,755
Seeing you try to help him.
1000
01:08:15,345 --> 01:08:16,715
Thought we had a deal.
1001
01:08:17,305 --> 01:08:18,595
Put him down.
1002
01:08:24,605 --> 01:08:26,145
What are you gonna do about it?
1003
01:08:26,725 --> 01:08:27,935
Gary!
1004
01:08:33,025 --> 01:08:34,565
Gary! Gary!
1005
01:08:35,485 --> 01:08:38,745
I told you not to make me angry, narc!
1006
01:08:41,575 --> 01:08:42,915
Get off of him!
1007
01:08:49,505 --> 01:08:52,625
I can't wait to fuck the death into you.
1008
01:08:54,505 --> 01:08:57,845
That's so gross.
1009
01:09:21,365 --> 01:09:23,115
That was so hot.
1010
01:09:25,205 --> 01:09:26,035
Yeah.
1011
01:09:28,995 --> 01:09:30,005
I know.
1012
01:09:37,255 --> 01:09:39,215
Where did you get a scooter from?
1013
01:09:40,345 --> 01:09:41,595
It's my sons'.
1014
01:09:47,605 --> 01:09:51,185
I know you said never
to save your life again, but...
1015
01:09:53,565 --> 01:09:55,105
I'll allow it this once.
1016
01:10:00,235 --> 01:10:02,445
Remember when we only had one body
to worry about?
1017
01:10:03,995 --> 01:10:07,025
Get in. I know a place.
1018
01:10:07,225 --> 01:10:08,455
Now you tell me.
1019
01:10:32,565 --> 01:10:34,565
Ever think about
where you wanna be buried?
1020
01:10:37,275 --> 01:10:40,155
Sorry. That's so fucked up to ask.
1021
01:10:42,035 --> 01:10:44,435
They're probably just gonna give me
some kind of religious burial,
1022
01:10:44,635 --> 01:10:45,905
no matter what I want.
1023
01:10:46,955 --> 01:10:48,285
So who cares?
1024
01:10:53,245 --> 01:10:54,295
I care.
1025
01:11:00,295 --> 01:11:03,345
I don't know. Just Nicole Kidman me
in a lake with my dog.
1026
01:11:06,515 --> 01:11:07,805
That's a good choice.
1027
01:11:10,435 --> 01:11:11,435
Oscar-worthy.
1028
01:12:03,065 --> 01:12:05,195
- Sandy?
- Oh, hi.
1029
01:12:05,825 --> 01:12:07,515
- Hi.
- Hi.
1030
01:12:07,715 --> 01:12:09,995
Oh, my. Have you been gardening?
1031
01:12:14,495 --> 01:12:18,255
- A little bit.
- Good for you!
1032
01:12:20,045 --> 01:12:22,965
Look at me,
just making myself right at home.
1033
01:12:23,595 --> 01:12:27,015
Listen, about last night...
1034
01:12:29,225 --> 01:12:30,685
I'm so embarrassed.
1035
01:12:31,345 --> 01:12:33,055
I don't remember a thing.
1036
01:12:33,765 --> 01:12:35,105
You don't?
1037
01:12:36,605 --> 01:12:39,985
Oh, Sandy, you did seem...
1038
01:12:40,945 --> 01:12:42,905
very inebriated.
1039
01:12:43,565 --> 01:12:44,515
Oh, Gary.
1040
01:12:44,715 --> 01:12:45,805
It was right as we--
1041
01:12:46,005 --> 01:12:48,645
I was about to watch
Sex and the City 2,
1042
01:12:48,845 --> 01:12:50,995
and something about...
1043
01:12:52,245 --> 01:12:54,685
- Cynthia...
- Nixon.
1044
01:12:54,885 --> 01:12:57,745
Nixon really set you off.
1045
01:12:58,795 --> 01:13:00,695
She really does bother me.
1046
01:13:00,895 --> 01:13:04,255
- But not as much as Charlotte.
- Exactly.
1047
01:13:04,925 --> 01:13:06,655
You were threatening self-harm,
1048
01:13:06,855 --> 01:13:08,955
and then you locked yourself in the closet
1049
01:13:09,155 --> 01:13:12,095
before we-- I could help you.
1050
01:13:13,555 --> 01:13:14,875
Well, I'll tell you one thing,
1051
01:13:15,075 --> 01:13:17,965
not the first time
I've woken up in a closet.
1052
01:13:18,165 --> 01:13:21,635
My husband, God rest his soul,
1053
01:13:21,835 --> 01:13:25,805
he practically had to tie me to the bed
to keep me from jumping off the balcony
1054
01:13:26,005 --> 01:13:29,095
in the middle of
Beaches,
that Bette Midler trauma.
1055
01:13:29,295 --> 01:13:30,865
I'm sure that's terrible.
1056
01:13:42,715 --> 01:13:44,965
I'm so lonely.
1057
01:13:47,925 --> 01:13:50,425
Aren't you lonely too, Gary?
1058
01:13:52,225 --> 01:13:53,055
Yeah.
1059
01:13:59,725 --> 01:14:02,935
Well, I better be getting along.
1060
01:14:03,735 --> 01:14:06,195
Gotta hit the road.
1061
01:14:08,155 --> 01:14:09,275
Stat.
1062
01:14:10,735 --> 01:14:12,035
Okay.
1063
01:14:19,495 --> 01:14:23,665
You're a good man, Gary.
1064
01:14:28,335 --> 01:14:30,505
I don't care what anyone else says.
1065
01:14:32,965 --> 01:14:33,805
Okay.
1066
01:14:36,185 --> 01:14:38,335
- Okay, bye. Bye. Bye.
- Bye. Bye.
1067
01:14:38,535 --> 01:14:40,375
- Bye! Bye-bye!
- Bye.
1068
01:14:40,575 --> 01:14:41,815
Bye-bye!
1069
01:14:47,355 --> 01:14:49,275
Oh, my God. Gary, you nailed that.
1070
01:14:50,195 --> 01:14:51,805
- Did I?
- Yes, bitch.
1071
01:14:52,005 --> 01:14:55,645
The
Sex and the City 2 of it all?
You have really come into your own.
1072
01:14:55,845 --> 01:14:57,015
Am I officially gay now?
1073
01:14:57,215 --> 01:14:59,985
Being gay was inside of you all along,
Scarecrow.
1074
01:15:00,175 --> 01:15:03,565
This is where I make a joke about all
the other gay things I want inside of me.
1075
01:15:03,765 --> 01:15:06,925
The student becomes the teacher. Namaste.
1076
01:15:18,435 --> 01:15:20,555
You wanna know something fucked up?
1077
01:15:22,435 --> 01:15:24,145
Ever since I was a little girl.
1078
01:15:30,405 --> 01:15:33,325
Last night might be the most alive
I've ever felt.
1079
01:15:36,405 --> 01:15:37,905
That is so fucked up.
1080
01:15:41,825 --> 01:15:43,835
I'm really glad I met you.
1081
01:15:45,835 --> 01:15:48,255
Even if multiple people are dead
because of it.
1082
01:15:50,545 --> 01:15:53,045
That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.
1083
01:15:57,845 --> 01:15:58,975
Before I forget...
1084
01:16:04,435 --> 01:16:05,935
I put it in my pants.
1085
01:16:15,445 --> 01:16:16,735
You should keep it.
1086
01:16:21,285 --> 01:16:22,955
Something to remember me by.
1087
01:16:25,335 --> 01:16:26,745
It's yours, Gary.
1088
01:16:47,685 --> 01:16:49,675
You don't have to kiss me, Cameron.
Really.
1089
01:16:49,875 --> 01:16:51,235
I'm not gonna kiss you.
1090
01:16:53,905 --> 01:16:55,525
You're gonna kiss me, Gary.
1091
01:17:52,375 --> 01:17:55,175
Are you sure that was your first time?
I just fit right in there.
1092
01:17:56,925 --> 01:17:57,925
Oh, God.
1093
01:18:03,555 --> 01:18:05,935
Gary, I really think
you should call your sons.
1094
01:18:07,975 --> 01:18:11,675
I don't love the timing of that statement.
1095
01:18:11,875 --> 01:18:14,275
Yeah. No, I get that, but...
1096
01:18:15,275 --> 01:18:16,275
you should.
1097
01:18:18,775 --> 01:18:20,445
I wouldn't know what to say.
1098
01:18:23,365 --> 01:18:24,905
After all this time.
1099
01:18:28,535 --> 01:18:29,585
You do, though.
1100
01:18:44,515 --> 01:18:47,765
- Thanks for the clothes.
- Yeah, they look better on you.
1101
01:18:52,225 --> 01:18:53,225
Gary, I just...
1102
01:18:55,025 --> 01:18:56,195
I wanna say...
1103
01:18:59,565 --> 01:19:00,655
you're hot.
1104
01:19:01,905 --> 01:19:04,745
And in case I forget to tell you later...
1105
01:19:06,075 --> 01:19:07,615
I had a really good time tonight.
1106
01:19:11,335 --> 01:19:12,375
Pretty Woman.
1107
01:19:12,955 --> 01:19:13,795
Yeah.
1108
01:19:21,885 --> 01:19:23,095
Well, if you...
1109
01:19:24,265 --> 01:19:26,765
You wanna call me or get together again...
1110
01:19:27,935 --> 01:19:28,935
Cameron.
1111
01:19:35,775 --> 01:19:36,775
Thank you.
1112
01:19:47,325 --> 01:19:48,155
Okay.
1113
01:20:33,325 --> 01:20:34,995
"Dear friends and family...
1114
01:20:36,295 --> 01:20:38,195
After recently coming out as a gay man,
1115
01:20:38,395 --> 01:20:42,715
Gary O'Connell died on Sunday, May 31st,
peacefully in his home."
1116
01:20:45,135 --> 01:20:46,595
Gary.
1117
01:20:47,175 --> 01:20:50,495
"Memorial service will be held
at Mary Magdalene Church and Cemetery,
1118
01:20:50,695 --> 01:20:51,415
June 7th.
1119
01:20:51,615 --> 01:20:55,015
Donations in his memory
may be made to the church."
1120
01:20:57,185 --> 01:20:58,605
What the fuck?
1121
01:21:11,535 --> 01:21:14,685
...wondering what if it's been me and--
1122
01:21:14,885 --> 01:21:17,085
- I don't know, I just couldn't get over--
- Bullshit.
1123
01:21:19,255 --> 01:21:20,585
Hi, Patty.
1124
01:21:21,295 --> 01:21:23,615
I got your fucking invitation,
you Hallmark hussy.
1125
01:21:23,815 --> 01:21:27,705
- That card was beautiful, tasteful--
- And Gary would have hated it.
1126
01:21:27,905 --> 01:21:29,825
- Listen, man. You got--
- No, no, no. That's okay.
1127
01:21:30,025 --> 01:21:31,725
I'm here 'cause I cared a lot about Gary.
1128
01:21:32,685 --> 01:21:33,515
A lot.
1129
01:21:34,305 --> 01:21:36,165
And I got to know the real him.
1130
01:21:36,365 --> 01:21:39,175
The him that none of you ever got to see.
1131
01:21:39,375 --> 01:21:40,605
And that Gary...
1132
01:21:42,275 --> 01:21:43,855
that Gary would have hated this.
1133
01:21:44,445 --> 01:21:45,525
And you know that.
1134
01:21:47,195 --> 01:21:48,485
Don't you, Patty?
1135
01:21:52,955 --> 01:21:55,785
- Are you finished?
- I don't know. Am I finished?
1136
01:22:00,705 --> 01:22:03,915
I know you think you had a good reason
for coming...
1137
01:22:04,835 --> 01:22:06,335
but let me tell you this.
1138
01:22:07,385 --> 01:22:08,925
We all made our choices.
1139
01:22:09,715 --> 01:22:12,455
My husband made his choice.
1140
01:22:12,655 --> 01:22:15,375
And was it the right one for him
at the time? Maybe.
1141
01:22:15,575 --> 01:22:17,795
But the truth is, if I had known,
1142
01:22:17,995 --> 01:22:20,925
maybe my choices would have
been different.
1143
01:22:21,125 --> 01:22:22,225
Because this was...
1144
01:22:22,985 --> 01:22:26,775
never about me standing in the way
of what Gary wanted.
1145
01:22:27,905 --> 01:22:29,325
This was about him.
1146
01:22:30,825 --> 01:22:33,765
And the both of us wasted
so much of our lives
1147
01:22:33,965 --> 01:22:36,645
trying to be what the other person wanted.
1148
01:22:36,845 --> 01:22:39,785
So much trying, so many years.
1149
01:22:40,495 --> 01:22:42,585
And we never did get to be who we wanted.
1150
01:22:43,255 --> 01:22:45,155
Neither one of us. Ever.
1151
01:22:45,355 --> 01:22:46,295
Until the end.
1152
01:22:47,255 --> 01:22:50,135
He wasn't sorry. He was angry.
1153
01:22:51,055 --> 01:22:53,015
And so I got angry too.
1154
01:22:53,635 --> 01:22:56,765
And we both chose to sit in that anger
for a long time.
1155
01:22:57,395 --> 01:22:58,545
Too long.
1156
01:22:58,745 --> 01:23:01,165
But then we made another choice.
1157
01:23:01,365 --> 01:23:03,545
And we had the courage
to put all that aside.
1158
01:23:03,745 --> 01:23:07,525
And that is the man
that I finally got to know.
1159
01:23:09,065 --> 01:23:10,015
So God help me,
1160
01:23:10,215 --> 01:23:13,575
don't you dare stand there
and tell me that I didn't know who he was.
1161
01:23:16,205 --> 01:23:17,205
I'm sorry.
1162
01:23:19,415 --> 01:23:20,415
Good.
1163
01:23:24,165 --> 01:23:26,085
Father, I'm so sorry about that.
1164
01:23:36,925 --> 01:23:40,245
Hey. What the hell did you think
you were doing in there?
1165
01:23:40,445 --> 01:23:42,125
Look, I'm not here to cause any trouble.
1166
01:23:42,325 --> 01:23:45,125
Well, you did call my mom
a "Hallmark hussy."
1167
01:23:45,325 --> 01:23:48,595
Yeah, words just kind of fall
out of my mouth sometimes and...
1168
01:23:48,795 --> 01:23:49,505
I don't know.
1169
01:23:49,705 --> 01:23:52,065
- Right. Understood.
- Yeah.
1170
01:23:52,655 --> 01:23:56,245
My father reached out,
and he told us that he met a guy...
1171
01:23:57,035 --> 01:24:00,395
and that that guy said that
he should call his family.
1172
01:24:00,595 --> 01:24:03,185
And I just wanted to say, because of you,
1173
01:24:03,385 --> 01:24:05,125
we got our dad back...
1174
01:24:06,255 --> 01:24:07,775
for a little while longer.
1175
01:24:07,975 --> 01:24:08,915
That's...
1176
01:24:10,125 --> 01:24:11,135
I'm glad.
1177
01:24:12,385 --> 01:24:13,675
And then this.
1178
01:24:15,885 --> 01:24:18,055
He wanted to make sure I gave it to you.
1179
01:24:21,765 --> 01:24:23,975
He said you'd know what to do with it.
1180
01:24:27,565 --> 01:24:28,645
I do.
1181
01:24:29,485 --> 01:24:30,395
Cool.
1182
01:24:48,335 --> 01:24:49,415
Could I just...?
1183
01:25:13,985 --> 01:25:16,025
Can I just get a moment with him?
1184
01:25:16,865 --> 01:25:18,405
Can you turn around, please?
1185
01:25:19,445 --> 01:25:20,285
Sorry.
1186
01:25:26,085 --> 01:25:27,085
Thank you.
1187
01:25:37,755 --> 01:25:38,755
Oh, Gary...
1188
01:25:40,675 --> 01:25:41,765
my lover...
1189
01:25:43,345 --> 01:25:44,345
my friend...
1190
01:25:46,605 --> 01:25:49,375
the day I penetrated your virgin hole...
1191
01:25:49,575 --> 01:25:50,715
Oh, my God.
1192
01:25:50,915 --> 01:25:52,435
...was the best day of my life!
1193
01:25:53,315 --> 01:25:59,225
And we may not be leaving this Earth
at the same time,
1194
01:25:59,425 --> 01:26:02,955
but at least we came together!
1195
01:26:09,705 --> 01:26:11,625
What the fuck are you doing?
1196
01:26:13,545 --> 01:26:15,045
Fuck. Fuck.
1197
01:26:21,595 --> 01:26:23,305
Let's do some gay shit, Gary.
1198
01:26:25,765 --> 01:26:29,565
Stop! Yo! Where are you going?
1199
01:26:30,645 --> 01:26:31,645
Are you--?
1200
01:27:30,745 --> 01:27:31,955
He's coming for you, Duke.
1201
01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:11,125
Fuck.
1202
01:28:15,705 --> 01:28:16,795
Fuck!
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