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1
00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:03,264
Hey.
2
00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:04,439
What are we watching?
3
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:06,180
A documentary
on eye surgery.
4
00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:07,442
They're reattaching
a retina.
5
00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:09,096
MAN:
The procedure involves
6
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:11,489
making small incisions
into the wall of the eye
7
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,317
to allow the introduction
of instruments
8
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:15,102
into the vitreous cavity.
9
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,407
Is there
anything else on?
10
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:17,930
Dad, this is
interesting.
11
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:19,323
I might be a
doctor someday.
12
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,890
You're right,
you're right.
13
00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:23,197
The draining of the vitreous,
the clear, gel-like fluid
14
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,199
that fills
the back of the eye...
15
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,940
Ah! Uh, I'm going
to go read.
16
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:33,642
WOMAN:
Kiki beats the heat
in a red chiffon teddy.
17
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:35,165
You don't want to watch
a lingerie calendar shoot
18
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:36,253
with your dad.
19
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:37,428
And Alexandra likes...
20
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:41,171
♪ Yes, no, maybe
21
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,086
♪ I don't know
22
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:46,350
♪ Can you repeat the question?
23
00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:49,136
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
24
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:51,486
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
25
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:54,010
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
26
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,099
♪ And you're not so big
27
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,101
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
28
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,495
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
29
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:02,366
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
30
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:05,935
♪ And you're not so big
31
00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:10,592
♪ Life is unfair.
32
00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:11,897
Come on!
33
00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:13,377
You boys are late.
34
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:14,596
I want you out of this house
in 30 seconds.
35
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:15,945
Let's show some hustle.
36
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,381
We've got time.
37
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:20,167
When we're really late, our
lunches are on the front lawn.
38
00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:26,260
Mom, Reese...
39
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:27,826
Go, go, go, go!
40
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,133
Okay, I'm doing dry
cleaner, mechanic
41
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,134
and post office.
42
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,570
You're doing groceries and DMV,
right?
43
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:33,745
Right.You got the cable bill?
44
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,399
Great. Bye, guy.
45
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,625
Did I just say
"Bye, guy" to you?
46
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,017
I'm pretty sure you did.
47
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,802
"Guy?" I-I-I called you "guy"?!
48
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,064
How can that happen?
49
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,631
I've never done that before.
50
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:51,589
Hal, it's a lapse; it
doesn't mean anything.
51
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,287
"Guy"?!Hal, it happens.
52
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,419
Let's get one thing clear.
53
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:59,249
In no way, shape, or form
do I think of you as a guy.
54
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,163
You are a gorgeous,
55
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,426
exciting, feminine goddess
56
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:06,256
that I still don't know
what I've done to deserve.
57
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:07,866
Do you understand that?
58
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:09,824
Yes.
59
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,047
Let's do this walking.
60
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:18,355
Okay, just for
argument's sake,
61
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:21,837
let's say Dr. Bombay was
one of the MASH surgeons.
62
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,317
I'd still want
Hawkeye operating
63
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,623
on my perforated aorta.
64
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,625
It's experience
that counts.
65
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,410
Think about it.
66
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:36,808
Will you hurry up
with those dishes?--
my bubbles are evaporating.
67
00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,810
Eric, you're not
going to believe this.
68
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:42,292
I swear I just saw
Commandant Spangler
69
00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:43,554
standing outside
the window.
70
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,252
That's not even funny,
Francis.
71
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,428
There are some things
you just don't joke about,
72
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:50,213
and that hook-handed maniac
is at the top of the list.
73
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,475
But he was so real.
74
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:52,998
It was like being back
at military school.
75
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,391
I know.
76
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:56,045
For a long time, I saw him
every time I shut my eyes.
77
00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:58,352
You just have to remember
we escaped
78
00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,396
from that hellhole.
79
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,484
We made it out
80
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,138
and found better lives
for ourselves.
81
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,139
Now, let's get
82
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,227
these dishes done.
83
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,576
We still have
to snake out the toilets
84
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,099
before we can
call it a night.
85
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:14,368
Hey, guys, wait up!
86
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,506
Hi.
87
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,682
I'm Dewey.
88
00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,293
You smell terrible.
89
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:27,729
I like you.
90
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,949
Maybe you could
come home with me.
91
00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:33,256
Dewey, you're not allowed
to have a dog, remember?
92
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,258
We want you
to be miserable.
93
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,478
That's right, son,
it's our job to make sure
94
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:39,523
we're as unfair
as possible to you.
95
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,264
Don't listen
to them, Dewey.
96
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,092
I've studied the
matter thoroughly,
97
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,312
and I'm convinced you
can get away with it.
98
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:49,229
All you have to do
is hide me. Hmm.
99
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:53,755
I'll call you Marshmallow.
100
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:05,462
♪ Tonight's the night
101
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:09,771
♪ It's gonna be all right
102
00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:13,340
♪ 'Cause I love you, girl
103
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:17,517
♪ Ain't nobody
gonna stop us now... ♪
104
00:04:20,346 --> 00:04:21,522
Hal, what are you doing here?
105
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,567
Well, you're off work
in five minutes,
106
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,700
and I am here to whisk you away
for a night of romance.
107
00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:28,572
Oh, honey, that's so sweet,
but I can't.
108
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,922
I've got to cover
for Craig tonight.
109
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,359
Why?!
110
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:33,708
Oh, he's sick as a dog.
111
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:36,580
Come on! You know that guy's
the biggest faker in the world.
112
00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,408
The last time
he was out with the flu,
113
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:42,107
we saw him jumping up and down
in the window on The Today Show.
114
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,545
That doesn't mean
I wasn't sick.
115
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,373
You didn't happen to tape that,
did you?
116
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:47,939
I set my timer wrong.
117
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,463
Oh, honey,
118
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:50,507
I'm so sorry.
119
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:53,205
After all the trouble
you went through.
120
00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:54,772
No. It's no big deal.
121
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:57,384
Really, it wasn't any trouble.
122
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,952
Thanks again
for the ride home.
123
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,606
Wow.
124
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,391
So, this is
what it would have been like
125
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:05,783
to go to my prom.
126
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:08,569
All I wanted was
a nice evening with my wife.
127
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:09,613
I even dug up
128
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:10,614
the wedding vows
129
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:13,269
I never was able
to read to her.
130
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,401
What happened?
131
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,403
Oh, she went into labor
with Francis
132
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:17,969
in the middle of the ceremony.
133
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:21,146
I was going to read
them to her tonight.
134
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:24,498
God... now I feel awful.
135
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,151
Don't worry
about it, Craig.
136
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:28,153
It's not your fault.
137
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:30,373
No, I really feel awful.
138
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:52,264
Shh.
139
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:54,571
:
Are you awake?
140
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,532
Oh, honey,
I'm so sorry about tonight.
141
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,621
Listen, tomorrow night,
I'm going to fix us
142
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,405
such a special dinner--
just the two of us.
143
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:03,580
We'll lock the boys
in the garage,
144
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:05,452
open a bottle of wine--
it'll be great.
145
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:11,458
Oh, I know, honey, I know.
146
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,418
That's all I have.
147
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,492
Is the roast
medium rare?
148
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:46,884
Did you put the
wine in the fridge?
149
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,495
Mom, my roast
is perfect.
150
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,714
I never even knew
we had fancy silverware.
151
00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,586
When was the last time
you used this?
152
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:53,587
The night you were conceived.
153
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:54,718
You want more details?
154
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:55,719
No.Good.
155
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,678
Thank you so much
for your help!
156
00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:59,723
Now, get in your room,
and don't make a peep
157
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:00,898
for the next
five hours.
158
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,552
Move!
159
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:08,645
He's not a dog.
160
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:10,255
He's just pretend.
161
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:12,127
What's for dinner?
162
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,521
A dog? Busted!
163
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:16,523
Please don't tell Mom! Please!
164
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:17,741
Do you have
a death wish?
165
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:19,308
Just let me have him one night.
166
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:20,614
I love him, and he loves me.
167
00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:21,615
Please, please!
168
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,573
Okay, Dewey, relax.
169
00:07:23,617 --> 00:07:24,618
We won't tell.
170
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:27,316
Thank you!
171
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:28,709
So, when do we tell?
172
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,711
As soon as
Dad gets home.
173
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,103
It'll be funnier.
174
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:34,062
I couldn't sleep at all
last night.
175
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:36,412
Me, too. It's like there's
something creepy in the air.
176
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,587
SPANGLER:
Francis!
177
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,723
Commandant Spangler.
178
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:46,683
What are you doing
in Alaska?
179
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:49,599
I've come for you,Francis!
180
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:53,429
I've been searching for you
for months.
181
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,562
Me? Why?
182
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:58,129
Why?!
183
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:01,176
Because...
184
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:06,311
after 32 years as an educator
and disciplinarian,
185
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:08,009
your desertion
186
00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:09,445
stood out as my
187
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,795
only failure--
188
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,015
a failurethat...
189
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:17,322
haunted my every waking moment.
190
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:20,674
I began to see your face
191
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,590
and those of other
young cadets who didn't
192
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:26,941
deserve the wrath that I poured
down on their innocent souls.
193
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:29,204
There was a lawsuit.
194
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:32,554
Charges were filed.
195
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,383
Disgrace.
196
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:37,472
I can't even remember the fire.
197
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:42,130
But I doremember the cause
198
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,653
for all of my
199
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,481
suffering.
200
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,790
I saw the stupid,grinning face
201
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:55,056
of the one person responsible
for all of my suffering.
202
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,362
Who?
203
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,712
:
Die!
204
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:01,671
Die!
205
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:03,673
Die!
206
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:04,805
Die...
Sir, cut it out.
207
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,371
Your hooks are cold.
208
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:24,999
And then
Dewey and Marshmallow
209
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:26,696
killed the evil dragon,
210
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,611
rescued the
poodle princess
211
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,657
and flew all the
way back home.
212
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,704
And they got medals
and big, red capes,
213
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,793
and everybody
loved them.
214
00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,755
Are you okay?
215
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,106
Marshmallow.
216
00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:47,238
Whoa.
217
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,896
Marshmallow, stop!
218
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:55,290
LOIS: Boys, I thought I told you
to stay in your room!
219
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,857
Marshmallow, hide!
220
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:08,695
I don't understand it!
221
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,522
An entire roast
222
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:11,915
with your bare hands?!
223
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:15,789
T-th-the, the
salad, the potatoes,
t-the green beans?!
224
00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:17,921
What do you
have to say for yourself?!
225
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:19,314
I was hungry, I guess.
226
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,576
This is great.
227
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,795
Let's tell them
about the dog
228
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,318
and really nail
his coffin shut.
229
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:24,449
Not yet; I
have a hunch.
230
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:27,365
An entire stick of butter?!
231
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:28,889
:
Now! Let's tell them now!
232
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,673
Wait for it,
wait for it.
233
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,283
Wait a second.
234
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:35,504
How could you eat... a candle?
235
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,940
I like candles.
236
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,768
I think they're good.
237
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:39,856
That's it!
238
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:43,773
You are going to the hospital
and getting your stomach pumped.
239
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,955
All right, young man.
240
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:53,827
I think you're empty.
241
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,350
Well?
242
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,612
He's fine.
243
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,744
We didn't find
any candles,
244
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,310
but we did find
some marbles
245
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:01,530
and the waistband to
a pair of underpants.
246
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:02,966
Don't ask.
247
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,881
Thank you, Doctor.
248
00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:07,101
All right, Dewey,
this is the end.
249
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,493
You and your brothers
250
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:10,800
are now officially
in the red zone.
251
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:12,367
But...Red zone, mister!
252
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,760
Now, tomorrow night
253
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,718
I am taking your mother out
on an emergency date.
254
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:19,330
It will be a beautiful,
romantic, magical evening
255
00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:21,593
that we need very badly,
256
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,944
and nothing
is going to derail it
257
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,859
on penalty of death.
258
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,470
Good.
259
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:31,908
Do you want your army man?
260
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:35,738
Okay.
261
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,522
So, how's he doing?
262
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:39,176
I was up with
him all night.
263
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,395
It got pretty wild
264
00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:43,528
but I think he's
doing better now.
265
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,573
I want to die!
266
00:11:44,616 --> 00:11:47,532
Why can't I just die?
267
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:48,795
Stop talking
like that, sir.
268
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:51,623
This is just
a momentary setback.
269
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,974
I have nothing to live for.
270
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:56,628
Mother no longer
acknowledges me.
271
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:58,805
I have no friends, no money.
272
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:03,635
I won't even tell you how I paid
for my journey up here.
273
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,768
If it means anything
to you, sir,
274
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,988
you taught me
how to be a man.
275
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:11,252
I have no idea
who you are.
276
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,688
You don't remember me?
277
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,820
After all that
time at Marlin,
278
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,865
the hell that you
put me through,
279
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,432
you don't even
remember me?
280
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,957
Cadet Dudley?
281
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,046
No! Eric!
282
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,570
I just spent the last
ten hours cradling you!
283
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,138
Sir, this is because
you're not feeling useful.
284
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,923
Look, I've talked
to some people
285
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:32,229
and I think I may
have found you a job.
286
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:34,014
A what?
287
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:34,797
It'd be with
the Interior Department.
288
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,668
You'd be helping
the environment,
289
00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:38,061
working with people--
290
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,802
you would be making
a real difference.
291
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:42,065
I can do that.
292
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,633
Thank you, son.
293
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:45,982
And please, thank that girl
294
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:48,942
for rocking me in her arms
all night long.
295
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:06,176
All right,
who's ready
296
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,657
for a fantastic
night on the town?
297
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:09,658
Oh...
298
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,051
Hal, they're beautiful.
299
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,313
Just give me
300
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:15,272
two minutes to freshen up
and I'll be ready to roll.
301
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,884
Just stay put, Dewey.
302
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,102
You're doing great.
303
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:23,106
We've been in here
for three hours.
304
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:27,110
Hey, I'm just looking out
for your best interest.
305
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:28,416
Okay, Dad just
came home.
306
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,200
Let's tell them now
so it ruins their date.
307
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,115
Or, we can wait till
they come home
308
00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:33,551
and they might
be drunk.
309
00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:34,988
This is true.
310
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:36,206
All right, boys--
311
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,904
your father and I
are leaving now.
312
00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:40,123
I left the number for the
restaurant on the counter.
313
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,256
If we get a call,
it better be from the coroner.
314
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:44,214
Nothing is going to ruin
this night!
315
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:49,306
M'lady, your
carriage awaits.
316
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:55,704
Well, I'm out of here.
317
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:56,879
Back at 10:00?
318
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,141
Sounds good.
319
00:13:58,185 --> 00:13:59,577
Dewey, you and
your dopey dog
320
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,231
are on your own
for an hour or two.
321
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,364
Nope.What are you talking about?
322
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:04,756
Did something
happen to the dog?
323
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,497
Oh, he's fine.
He's just busy destroying
324
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:07,890
your comic book collection.
325
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,022
What?
326
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:16,681
That's it.
327
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,770
You're getting rid
of that thing right now!
328
00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,120
And you'regoing
to pay for this!
329
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:22,557
I don't think so.Oh, I
think so.
330
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:30,695
Sit!
331
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,960
I wasn't talking to him.
332
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,537
Ever since
the day I was born,
333
00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:49,540
you guys
have been torturing me.
334
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,717
I remember you trying to switch
me for another baby at the park.
335
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:55,807
I remember you telling me
the tooth fairy was a vampire.
336
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:56,939
I remember every
337
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:59,202
wet Willie,
every booger sandwich,
338
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,812
every stink hat...
339
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:02,205
Dewey, we're sorry.
340
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:05,208
...every waffle butt,
every chester backster
341
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,993
and every purple nurple!
342
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:07,994
And now
343
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,560
you're going to pay.
344
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,824
Dewey, this isn't
going to work.
345
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,000
Mom and Dad will be home
in a few hours,
346
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:17,090
that dog will be gone,
you'll be in trouble,
347
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,092
and we'll kick your ass
for the next ten years.
348
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:20,093
I know.
349
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,877
So we'd better get started.
350
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,139
What do you want?
351
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:25,881
Everything.
352
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,971
I want everything.
353
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:32,583
Hal, this place
is beautiful.
354
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:33,454
It's so romantic.
355
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:34,977
Everything is
fabulous.
356
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,979
Yes, it is fabulous.
357
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:37,980
Look, they have
358
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,155
your favorite-- oysters!
359
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:40,591
We'll have to order
some of those.
360
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,463
Actually,
I had a big batch
361
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:44,247
of oysters for lunch.
362
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:45,335
You did?
363
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:46,641
Where did you
get oysters?
364
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,599
A guy has a cart
outside the building.
365
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:52,386
Besides, I am dying
to try this plain broth--
366
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:53,691
they're famous for it.
367
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,041
For their broth?
What are you talking about?
368
00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:57,260
Is that your friend Suzy
from work?
369
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,219
Who, that fat old man?
370
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:02,048
Never mind.
I'm just so excited to be here.
371
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,353
Excuse me, sorry.
372
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:04,572
Please,
373
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:05,921
could you turn the air
conditioning like
374
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,227
10-15 degrees colder?
375
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,272
Okay.
376
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,361
Okay...
377
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:14,060
Hal... what are
you up to?
378
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,670
I'll never tell.
379
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:16,932
I love this.
380
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,717
I'm having such
a great time.
381
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:22,242
Me, too.
382
00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:24,722
Excuse me.
383
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,072
Hurry back.
384
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:32,165
Excuse me.
385
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,296
I need your help.
386
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,820
Here-- here's $20.
387
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:38,084
Go and buy me some medicine--
some cold medicine--
388
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,824
and serve it to me
in a champagne glass.
389
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,088
But I-I...Just stop talking and go!
390
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:46,135
DEWEY:
Pencils down.
391
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:50,444
Who wants to read
their essay first?
392
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:54,143
Marshmallow,
why don't you choose?
393
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,496
"50 reasons why Dewey
394
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,541
"is the greatest
brother
395
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:01,759
"in the history
of the universe
396
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,239
and I'm a worthless
chunk of garbage."
397
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,459
Is that what we were
supposed to be writing about?
398
00:17:07,242 --> 00:17:08,069
From the top.
399
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:10,724
"50 reasons why Dewey is the
greatest brother in the...
400
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:11,900
Stop.
401
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,337
Something's not right.
402
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,124
Wait.
403
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,127
There.
404
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:23,259
Continue.
405
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:27,307
Nobody move.
406
00:17:27,349 --> 00:17:29,439
CRAIG:
Hello?! I know
407
00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:30,701
someone's home.
408
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,877
I saw shapes moving
on the curtain!
409
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:35,184
Marshmallow, guard.
410
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,579
Hey, sport,
is your dad home?
411
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:39,971
No, they went to a restaurant,
412
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,930
but they said you
should go over...
413
00:17:41,973 --> 00:17:43,453
Well, I just came
to drop off some pants.
414
00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:45,107
They got out...Craig, help!
415
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,543
REESE:
Help up, please!
416
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:47,544
Dewey's gone crazy.
417
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:48,502
He's holding us prisoner.
418
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:55,161
I'm sorry you had to see this.
419
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,121
Number 12...
420
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,471
his twinkling eyes.
421
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:02,690
To us.
422
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:03,995
To us.
423
00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,258
You know, Lois...
424
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,303
LOIS :
Don't pass out.
425
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,175
No! No, keep it together.
426
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,394
Smile, smile! Laugh!
427
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,050
HAL :
You're going to throw up.
428
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,313
Okay, if it comes to it,
aim for the ice bucket.
429
00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:22,405
♪ We're stinky and evil,
we're dumb and sarcastic ♪
430
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,015
♪ While Dewey, in contrast
431
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:25,408
♪ Is super fantastic
432
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,323
♪ And that's why Dewey is king
433
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:30,283
:
♪ Why Dewey is king.
434
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,328
Hey, it's haircut time.
435
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:35,636
Think of your favorite Stooge,
and I'll be right back.
436
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:39,248
Marshmallow, if anyone moves,
eatthem.
437
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:40,380
This is insane.
438
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:42,382
We've got to do something.
439
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:43,383
I'm Moe.
440
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:44,297
We don't have
a choice.
441
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,950
I say at the
count of three,
442
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:48,562
we split up and all run
for different doors.
443
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,433
Are you nuts?
He might get one of us.
444
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:51,434
MALCOLM:
Yeah, but two of us
445
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:52,870
will get away
and go for help.
446
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:56,178
I'm willing if you are.
I can't sing anymore.
447
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,442
Ready? On three.
448
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:00,313
One...
449
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,792
two...
450
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,054
three.
451
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,534
Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go!
452
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:05,579
Go, go, go, go!
453
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,102
No. Good dog! No, no!
454
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,235
Ah! Ooh! Not the face!
455
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,325
Craig's a good guy.
456
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:14,022
He always comes
through for us.
457
00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:15,023
I couldn't find
458
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,416
any rusty scissors,
so we're going to have
459
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,374
to use...
460
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:19,549
Where is he?
461
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,203
He should have
been back by now.
462
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:22,248
Look at this,
my palms are sweaty.
463
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:25,338
Would you calm down?
Here he comes.
464
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:29,255
So?
465
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:33,998
:
For some reason, I was fired.
466
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:37,480
I don't believe it,
he's drunk again.
467
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,482
You're just going to have
to face it, Francis--
468
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,354
there's no hope
for this guy.
469
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:42,877
The only thing that ever
made him remotely happy
470
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,010
was tormenting
and bullying helpless students.
471
00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:47,708
Without that, he's nothing.
472
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:53,017
You call that a collage?
473
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,367
Is it an insult
474
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:55,846
to the craft.
475
00:19:55,890 --> 00:20:00,111
I can see paste coming up over
the top of the Popsicle stick.
476
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:01,678
I'm sorry, I have arthritis.
477
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:02,636
That's it.
478
00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:05,465
You have just lost pudding
479
00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:07,467
for the whole group.
480
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:12,472
Feel free to thank
Mrs. Meekitjuk after I leave.
481
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:19,479
I feel like dancing.
482
00:20:19,522 --> 00:20:21,002
Me, too.
483
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:48,769
Oh, darling,
there's something
484
00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:50,161
I've wanted
to say to you
485
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,293
for the longest time.
486
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:52,163
Uh-huh?
487
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:55,906
I have to go
to the hospital.
488
00:20:55,950 --> 00:21:00,563
Oh, Hal, you don't know
how happy that makes me.
489
00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:04,524
REESE:
What do you think?
490
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:05,307
One more can?
491
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,353
No, we don't want
to spoil him.
492
00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:09,311
Besides,
he probably has to go
493
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:10,747
to the bathroom now.
494
00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:13,141
Who wants to go out
in the front yard?
495
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:16,013
I'll remember this,too.
496
00:21:16,057 --> 00:21:18,451
"And how can words
describe how I feel
497
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:20,714
on this, the day
of our marriage?"
498
00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:24,021
"You are my day, my night,
the sun in my sky.
499
00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:26,676
You are the Duran
to my Duran."
500
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,592
Oh, Hal.
501
00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:32,682
"Her name is Lois and
she dances on the sand
502
00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:35,555
just like that river twisting
through a dusty land..."
33705
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