All language subtitles for Victor Borge act 2

years ago then laughs we have inflation

and you are familiar with that problem I

invented a language which I call

inflationary language in inflation we

have numbers rising prices go up

anything that has to do with money goes

up except the language see we have a

hidden numbers in the words like

wonderful before create tenderly all

these numbers can be inflated and meet

the economy you know by rising to the

occasion

I suggest we add one to each of these

numbers to be prepared for instance

wonderful will be to the food before

your BP 5 create three nine tenderly

should be 11 Toni lieutenant would be a

little eminent a sentence like a Aida

tenderloin with a fork will be I 9 and

11 aligned with my five

I'm so on sofas

I have a book care I brought and I will

freak this is an old book my father

inherited from two of his cousins I'm

talking about that later would we get to

that I have a story I'd like to read to

you so you can get an idea of stationary

language how it sounds when it's being

used twice upon a time they lived in

sunny California a young man named

thought he was a third Lebanon in the

usaaf iOS's Bob had been fond of Anna

his one-and-a-half system ever since she

saw the light of day for the second time

and they were both proud of the fact

that two of his five fathers had been

among the creaminess of the US

Constitution they were dining on the

terrace Anna he said as he took a bite

of the marinated herring you know two or

three nights

you never look that lovely p5 and the

really dr. de food in spite of the

illness for which he had not yet Riku

behind it yes

repeated Bob you look to the full three

nine but you have three of the saddest

eyes and I've ever seen

the table was tastefully decorated with

Anna's favorite flowers freedoms they

were now talking about Anna's as a 10

husband from whom she was 700 while on

the radio in iris 11 or sang t-43 he was

midnight o'clock in the distance struck

thirteen and suddenly there in the

moonlight stood her husband done to he

was done one

yesterday has been done to obviously a

toxic mind it Anna he blurted five give

me I'm only young twice and you are my

two and only pop jump to his feet get

out of here your three fates triple

cross off another one watch out Bob use

an officer yes he is - but I'm - three

any to for a lemonis

all right set done - as he wiped his

five head

he then left and when he was one and a

half way through the revolving door he

mumbled I'll go back to 11 SC and be

double again farewell Anna three de Lune

three loop

I'm going to introduce a young pianist

he is a very very good friend of mine he

is an Armenian and he has studied at the

Music Conservatory in Eastern cow

therefore Istanbul he has also graduated

in chemistry he's an excellent chemist

and he has just returned from a very

successful concert to an extensive

concert tour in South America in oblivia

and porta via julio and has just

returned today and I must tell you he's

a pianist and the funny thing happen

where he was supposed to play in Bolivia

he came to the concert hall and it did

never people for the piano recital good

so he did some bare chemistry for the

audience and where the concert hall used

to be is now just a a big hole in the

ground but fortunately he is saved

himself would you please welcome mr.

Shahan as Rooney

that's all is left of him after the

she used to be a dead man anyway Shahan

Shahan lives in New York City with his

family and has not been in the United

States very long and he doesn't speak

English he understands it is fortunately

I speak a little turkey so yeah I can

understand he understand me and I hit

how everything we will fail together

because the time is very precious we

don't have much time otherwise people

play two pianos but we cut it down to

one piano if I'm shopping how about we

give these are people we will play the

second guy Rhapsody by this second

I conducted the Magic Flute Mozart's

great opera I found in my research an

opera actually written by Mozart but

it's it

Salieri on but it is understood that

Mozart actually wrote it so you can

imagine what kind of operators and put

Salieri's name on it but anyway I'll

tell you a little about it because it's

quite interesting it is in in one act

only it begins with a 45 minutes

intermission because it's such a short

opera and when it the curtain rises

first here is overture but when it sure

is over the curtain rises of course

otherwise you couldn't see a thing and

on the stage are two large trees one is

on this side and what is on the other

side and that indicates a small forest

now the tenor comes in he's supposed to

meet him soprano but she hasn't arrived

yet so he hides behind one of the trees

in order to surprise her which he comes

in a little later which he does and

which he comes in a little later which

he does she can't find him because he is

hidden behind the tree and she doesn't

know that of course she knows it because

she must have seen it during rehearsal

but she pretends even the lousy is plain

stupid

well he now hides behind the olive tree

waiting for him and he's there already

so this is a little miss how the chorus

comes in but nobody knows why except

Mozart and he's dead

finally her father shows up he's very

angry because he just want to get out of

the Opera as fast as possibly and go

home and he decided she must die and she

sings her died our death area and that's

the end of it the curtain falls but not

hard enough and I'll take it to the

Opera and pray for you the overture

first we hear the conductor's footsteps

when he enters the orchestra pit as a

matter of fact I'd like to call it the

orchestra Tisch in more dignified I

think Pete first you hear the

conductor's footsteps when he enters the

orchestra pit at each embryo he walks

sideways because it's a very narrow

niche and this is the overture

this was the first part of the overture

now you're going to hear the second part

and that's exactly the same

the reason for that extra grip is that

the fellow who does the groups started

one measure truly other countries' and

the tenor comes in from that side in

he goes behind the tree right away

Thank You Angela he can't where he is

exit to stiva

now the leading lady comes in she's

supposed to fill the part of the soprano

she not only fills it she overflows us

in her she's a big she's a big she cares

a lot of weight to the author she's

about four and a half feet tall lying

down

she comes in from that side in a single

pile

he goes behind the olive tree and

surrounds of completely

well why you laughing the korell's has

been in and out and now a baritone

arrives

alright all God but he finds out if he's

in the wrong approach

there he is fire and now the father

comes into the bathroom

Oh

they'll all die now

Oh No

talking about yeah I wish you picks it

up from there

she dies by slapping yourself between

the two big trees they are understood

I'm gonna play one of the waltzes that

I'm trying to remember before this is a

very long one

you know whenever I wouldn't ask them

from the stages in Uruguay played with

concerts the whole audience will go

Bravo prop because Bravo crate the much

better than I do

yes is Giuseppe Bravo great pianist and

he is heaven and Portugal's

oh yes he and his wife are Portuguese

but you can have one piece

I told you to your language I'm just

angry and they have 340 goslings

one of each

when you hear this that is the

introduction to the world and when you

hear this that is the main theme

then there is definitely something wrong

because that's shoppin

you

I didn't even know I knew that one

as a little Danish Danish a lot of bye

my mother used to play it for me when I

was law a few years ago and as a matter

of fact I never heard him playing it

because they're always kind of sleep the

moment she started it but I think it

goes like

you

I

everything come to an end

you wouldn't believe it with you but

this is it this is what we have to offer

some laughs and smiles coughs and

hiccups when once in a while a

handkerchief comes out to wipe away a

tear from laughter that is my reward the

rest goes to the government

perhaps we shall meet again sometime

maybe next time in your house maybe in

your dining room

maybe in your living room wherever your

TV set is located

we should thank my parents for having

made this evening possible and my

children for having made it necessary

I have five children by the way not by

the way I have five children at that

stupid page-turner with the red tie

happens to be one of them

now four more like that

oh please

when you drive tonight please drive

extremely carefully

extremely carefully because I walk in my

sleep

if you could stop the racket for a

second on behalf of everybody involved

in this evenings performance from the

management and from everybody backstage

and in front of the stage and for all

the artists who have joined me here

today I wish to thank you profoundly for

the courtesy and the honor you have

bestowed upon us by rising to the

occasion I thought you weren't you're

way out

but in retaliation for your keeping me

overtime I am going to do an encore

if I know this we could have started

with it and we're anyway I'm going to do

a routine now the ones of you who ever

but the cost a fortune to fill this hole

for fifteen cents more could have gone

all the way over

we don't waste a beautiful flower any

flower we're all waste anything it's as

beautiful as an artificial one but

anyway I'm going to do a routine now the

ones of you who have heard it before may

enjoy hearing it again and the ones of

you who have not heard it before may

enjoy hearing it again next time I'm

speaking of the phonetic punctuation

well I must compliment you on your

endurance however had I known this as I

said before we could have started with

it and been home by now but I certainly

appreciate your enthusiasm indeed I

invented phonetic from cue 8.2 ation

many years ago punctuated punctuated it

was in 1936 when I first found that

people who speak together don't

understand each other clearly but when

we read all right we use punctuation

marks in order to underline the meaning

of our sentences but we do not have that

support when we speak so why not

integrate punctuation marks by giving

them sounds into our speech then we can

underline what we intend to convey to

each other verbally what the heck was

all that now in Parliament I could say

on a poem a diamond and pregnant rather

look like America is not a business

woman that was right I'll teach you how

to use the system a period sounds like

this a - an exclamation point is the

vertical - with the period underneath

the comma

quotation not two commas or if you

happen to be left-handed

question mark is a little difficult

finally the :

two little ducks may put them over any

fellow you may put them under each other

you can put them wherever you wanna put

that's it I'm gonna read a paragraph

from a book I have here the same book I

would I read from before my father

inherited that I told you from two of

his cousins they were twins identical

but they never knew which one of them

was the identical one because they look

so much alike

my father told you or he was much older

than I was of course because my father

was born in 1847 he was 60 years old

when I was born so he was almost my

grandfather and he knew was all the

things that I didn't know and I know it

now I wanted to show a little thing

at seven grandchildren and the youngest

one when she was the youngest one which

isn't anymore because they're two more

but she was she's now almost a oldest

one because not necessarily yet but

she's in age you know it always change

and this is saying she didn't school for

me I always show that to the audience

that's good I didn't know too bad right

note said cute from the school cost me

$8,000

she was the one who came aha

she was all who came home from a beach

party she was this big as he would

hardly walk and I said a lament for the

many children there oh yes she said many

boys and girls there was a more boys or

more girls and she said she couldn't

tell that because none of married

clothes on have a short story right here

in the beginning of the book age 906 in

the open window that suddenly came light

beautiful Elinor sat alone dreaming off

for one thing two years a passed since

she met Sir Henry he would still

remember the unhappy evening when her

father thrown him out they had been

sitting in the park and then we have it

darlings

is this the first time you have loved

and you'll answer yes but it is so

wonderful that I hope we shall not be

the last

suddenly she heard a wind on sound it

was he in two strikes he was near her

embraced kissed and caressed hey

what is love er to be honest I couldn't

live without here I'm left-handed

well have your thoughts been young but

suddenly he had gone oh shehide her all

she heard was the well-known sound of

his departing horse