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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,140 --> 00:00:05,953 Previously on "The Affair"... 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,703 - Do I know you? - Think you decked me 3 00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:09,372 - with your board this morning. - Yeah. 4 00:00:09,459 --> 00:00:11,017 Yo, let me make it up to you. 5 00:00:18,937 --> 00:00:21,117 I just watched you freebasing, asshole. 6 00:00:21,204 --> 00:00:23,041 Why don't you give the police a call, huh? 7 00:00:23,128 --> 00:00:25,375 Love to tell them who sold me my first eight-ball, 8 00:00:25,462 --> 00:00:26,875 Mr. Lockhart. 9 00:00:26,962 --> 00:00:29,958 Cole, she abandoned her daughter on our doorstep. 10 00:00:30,045 --> 00:00:32,047 - She is still Joanie's mother. - She doesn't 11 00:00:32,134 --> 00:00:33,500 - deserve to be. - Well, what do you want me to do? 12 00:00:33,587 --> 00:00:34,763 Let's give her what she wants 13 00:00:34,850 --> 00:00:36,375 so we can stop thinking about her. 14 00:00:36,462 --> 00:00:37,867 I'm not a fan of Alison. 15 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:39,806 She should have her daughter back. 16 00:00:39,893 --> 00:00:41,244 We did the right thing. 17 00:00:42,369 --> 00:00:43,743 Oh, shit. 18 00:00:45,034 --> 00:00:46,129 Hi, Officer. 19 00:00:47,473 --> 00:00:48,883 I hate that a fucking cop 20 00:00:48,970 --> 00:00:51,001 can pull me over, and my only hope 21 00:00:51,088 --> 00:00:52,281 is that you know him 22 00:00:52,368 --> 00:00:54,214 and he likes you so he won't fuck with me. 23 00:00:54,301 --> 00:00:56,509 Maybe we can try again to get you a green card. 24 00:00:56,596 --> 00:00:57,547 How? 25 00:00:57,634 --> 00:00:59,489 I have no children of my own. 26 00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:01,221 I can't demonstrate hardship. 27 00:01:01,308 --> 00:01:02,791 Guess where I was this morning. 28 00:01:02,878 --> 00:01:04,791 - I got no idea, Ali. - I was at Woodlawn. 29 00:01:04,878 --> 00:01:06,651 Someone like me, with my experience, 30 00:01:06,738 --> 00:01:08,762 I could turn this into a career. 31 00:01:09,292 --> 00:01:10,744 - A career? - I'm just trying 32 00:01:10,831 --> 00:01:11,961 to move on with my life. 33 00:01:12,048 --> 00:01:14,351 I would hardly call what you're doing moving on. 34 00:01:14,438 --> 00:01:15,875 - Why not? - You have practically 35 00:01:15,962 --> 00:01:18,190 made his death your entire identity. 36 00:01:18,277 --> 00:01:20,063 That conference I was telling you about, 37 00:01:20,150 --> 00:01:21,715 it's happening in Montauk. 38 00:01:22,751 --> 00:01:24,984 Is, uh... is this the grant coordinator's office? 39 00:01:25,071 --> 00:01:27,903 - Hi. I'm Alison. - Ben. 40 00:01:28,126 --> 00:01:30,672 How long do you have left with your program? 41 00:01:30,759 --> 00:01:32,555 Five months, two weeks and three days. 42 00:01:32,642 --> 00:01:33,926 But who's counting? 43 00:01:41,871 --> 00:01:44,919 ♪ I was screaming into the canyon ♪ 44 00:01:45,006 --> 00:01:47,989 ♪ At the moment of my death ♪ 45 00:01:48,386 --> 00:01:51,560 ♪ The echo I created ♪ 46 00:01:51,647 --> 00:01:54,309 ♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪ 47 00:01:54,478 --> 00:01:58,008 ♪ My voice it made an avalanche ♪ 48 00:01:58,095 --> 00:02:00,786 ♪ And buried a man I never knew ♪ 49 00:02:01,050 --> 00:02:04,320 ♪ And when he died, his widowed bride ♪ 50 00:02:04,407 --> 00:02:06,916 ♪ Met your daddy and they made you ♪ 51 00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,133 ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ 52 00:02:09,220 --> 00:02:11,258 ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ 53 00:02:11,345 --> 00:02:13,700 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 54 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,602 ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ 55 00:02:15,689 --> 00:02:17,883 ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ 56 00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:20,044 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 57 00:02:20,847 --> 00:02:22,276 ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ 58 00:02:22,363 --> 00:02:24,555 ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ 59 00:02:24,642 --> 00:02:28,070 ♪ Sink back into the ocean, sink back into the ocean ♪ 60 00:02:28,157 --> 00:02:29,789 ♪ Sink back into the o... ♪ 61 00:02:29,876 --> 00:02:31,206 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 62 00:02:31,293 --> 00:02:33,101 ♪ Sink back into the o... ♪ 63 00:02:33,188 --> 00:02:34,703 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 64 00:02:34,790 --> 00:02:36,880 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 65 00:02:40,463 --> 00:02:42,679 *THE AFFAIR* Season 04 Episode 04 66 00:02:42,766 --> 00:02:44,684 *THE AFFAIR* Episode Title: "Episode #4.4" 67 00:02:51,108 --> 00:02:52,536 What are you implying? 68 00:02:52,747 --> 00:02:54,305 I'm not implying anything, Cole. 69 00:02:54,392 --> 00:02:55,493 I'm asking. 70 00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:58,122 Look, Alison has a history of depression, so... 71 00:02:58,350 --> 00:03:00,047 how has she seemed to you lately? 72 00:03:00,134 --> 00:03:01,472 How has she been feeling? 73 00:03:01,559 --> 00:03:03,208 How's she been feeling? 74 00:03:03,744 --> 00:03:04,926 She's been happy. 75 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,680 She's been fine... for years now. 76 00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,760 And she wouldn't do something like that to Joanie. 77 00:03:08,847 --> 00:03:09,888 Just relax, Cole. 78 00:03:09,975 --> 00:03:11,325 Jeffries is trying to help. 79 00:03:11,412 --> 00:03:12,960 Wait. Is that Solloway? 80 00:03:13,074 --> 00:03:14,124 Hi, Detective. 81 00:03:14,211 --> 00:03:15,698 We appreciate all you're doing. 82 00:03:15,785 --> 00:03:16,913 No, we don't. 83 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,095 He's not concentrated on the right things. 84 00:03:19,647 --> 00:03:21,386 What about the guy she's been seeing? 85 00:03:21,473 --> 00:03:23,346 Uh, Benjamin Cruz. 86 00:03:23,433 --> 00:03:25,711 - Does he have an alibi? - An alibi for what? 87 00:03:25,798 --> 00:03:28,266 Look, this isn't a crime investigation, Cole. 88 00:03:28,353 --> 00:03:31,184 Alison is missing, so we're focusing on her. 89 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,412 Just give me a call if you remember something. 90 00:03:33,499 --> 00:03:34,870 Things she was concerned about. 91 00:03:34,957 --> 00:03:36,985 Any irrational behavior. 92 00:03:37,072 --> 00:03:38,491 - Maybe even... - Oh, Jesus Christ! 93 00:03:38,578 --> 00:03:40,377 I told you she's been fine! 94 00:03:40,464 --> 00:03:41,432 Anton. 95 00:03:41,519 --> 00:03:43,497 Let's pull off up here. 96 00:03:43,995 --> 00:03:45,229 Let's get something to eat. 97 00:03:45,316 --> 00:03:46,308 Sure. 98 00:03:59,941 --> 00:04:01,607 Oh, fuck. 99 00:04:04,403 --> 00:04:05,675 You want to get that? 100 00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:07,232 I'll grab you something. 101 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,040 Thank you. 102 00:04:14,113 --> 00:04:16,250 Hey, Luisa. How are you? 103 00:04:19,144 --> 00:04:20,510 Secretary of state? 104 00:04:20,597 --> 00:04:21,696 Why not the president? 105 00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:23,169 Too much work. 106 00:04:24,808 --> 00:04:26,369 Well, we have to go now. 107 00:04:26,456 --> 00:04:27,791 I have to brush someone's teeth. 108 00:04:27,878 --> 00:04:29,573 - I can do it myself. - Yeah. 109 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,174 Bye, Noah. See you later. 110 00:04:31,261 --> 00:04:33,635 Bye, Joanie. Thanks for talking to me. 111 00:04:33,722 --> 00:04:35,633 Okay, brush 'em all, even the back ones. 112 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:36,707 I'm gonna check. 113 00:04:36,794 --> 00:04:38,050 I will. 114 00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:42,754 So... 115 00:04:43,128 --> 00:04:44,197 So. 116 00:04:44,503 --> 00:04:47,584 Uh, I should probably get going myself. 117 00:04:48,081 --> 00:04:49,364 Yeah. 118 00:04:49,894 --> 00:04:51,223 You look good. 119 00:04:52,206 --> 00:04:53,511 Thank you. 120 00:04:54,019 --> 00:04:55,356 Are you good? 121 00:04:55,558 --> 00:04:57,458 Yeah, I think so. 122 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,628 You? 123 00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:00,334 Yeah, I'm fine. 124 00:05:00,729 --> 00:05:03,838 Helen's kind of making it a Herculean task 125 00:05:03,925 --> 00:05:05,292 to see the kids, but... 126 00:05:05,503 --> 00:05:07,096 Well, isn't that why you're out there? 127 00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:08,947 Sure is, but you know Helen. 128 00:05:09,034 --> 00:05:10,080 Why make things simple 129 00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:12,505 when they can be painful and difficult? 130 00:05:13,331 --> 00:05:15,981 Yeah, well, you're doing the right thing. 131 00:05:16,276 --> 00:05:18,455 Your kids will know that you fought to see them. 132 00:05:18,542 --> 00:05:20,950 And it will mean something to them one day. 133 00:05:21,691 --> 00:05:22,803 Hope so. 134 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,989 Believe me, my dad didn't, so I know. 135 00:05:27,284 --> 00:05:28,973 Hey, I sent you something. 136 00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:31,231 Oh, God, what? 137 00:05:31,347 --> 00:05:33,292 Nothing. It's just a gift card. 138 00:05:33,589 --> 00:05:35,614 What kind of gift card? 139 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,276 To buy a plane ticket to California 140 00:05:38,363 --> 00:05:39,538 for you and Joanie, 141 00:05:39,625 --> 00:05:41,872 in case you ever need to get away. 142 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,584 I'd like to see her again, Alison, in person. 143 00:05:46,949 --> 00:05:50,283 'Cause, you know, I did raise that child 144 00:05:50,370 --> 00:05:52,909 as my own daughter for the first two years of her life. 145 00:05:52,996 --> 00:05:54,013 I know. 146 00:05:54,081 --> 00:05:56,417 Because, you know, I thought she was my daughter. 147 00:05:56,504 --> 00:05:57,894 Yes. 148 00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:01,473 Just keep it for a rainy day. 149 00:06:04,589 --> 00:06:05,728 Okay. 150 00:06:05,815 --> 00:06:06,980 I will. 151 00:06:07,278 --> 00:06:08,986 Thank you. 152 00:06:10,105 --> 00:06:11,762 Good luck out there. 153 00:06:11,988 --> 00:06:13,239 You, too. 154 00:06:13,488 --> 00:06:14,947 Okay. 155 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,942 Here you go. Enjoy. 156 00:06:31,589 --> 00:06:32,634 Hi. 157 00:06:32,730 --> 00:06:35,590 - Hi. May I help you? - Um, Bailey, Alison. 158 00:06:35,677 --> 00:06:37,755 Let's see. Yes. 159 00:06:38,074 --> 00:06:39,919 Uh-huh, there you go. 160 00:06:40,697 --> 00:06:42,872 - There you are. - Ah. Thank you. 161 00:06:43,842 --> 00:06:45,128 Enjoy the conference. 162 00:06:45,215 --> 00:06:46,324 Thanks. 163 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:23,953 Close your eyes. 164 00:07:26,209 --> 00:07:27,695 Take a breath. 165 00:07:33,101 --> 00:07:34,985 What do you notice? 166 00:07:40,824 --> 00:07:42,787 The kitchen sink is... 167 00:07:43,309 --> 00:07:45,375 full of dirty dishes. 168 00:07:47,614 --> 00:07:49,459 Okay. Good. 169 00:07:49,597 --> 00:07:51,021 Go with that. 170 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,076 Close your eyes. 171 00:08:02,845 --> 00:08:04,398 Take a breath. 172 00:08:08,533 --> 00:08:10,287 What do you notice? 173 00:08:15,206 --> 00:08:18,162 My mother is standing in the doorway. 174 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,051 She's... 175 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,998 holding a letter. 176 00:08:24,715 --> 00:08:25,738 Okay, good. 177 00:08:25,825 --> 00:08:27,185 Let's go with that. 178 00:08:27,723 --> 00:08:30,909 Another option if the patient is stuck is to, um... 179 00:08:31,191 --> 00:08:34,466 to press on their hands, on the palms like this. 180 00:08:36,946 --> 00:08:38,392 Okay. 181 00:08:43,704 --> 00:08:45,141 Take a breath. 182 00:08:45,228 --> 00:08:46,823 Close your eyes. 183 00:08:49,602 --> 00:08:51,292 What do you notice? 184 00:08:55,946 --> 00:08:58,018 She's crying. 185 00:08:58,876 --> 00:09:00,971 She's apologizing. 186 00:09:05,263 --> 00:09:07,878 She's saying that she knew all along. 187 00:09:11,116 --> 00:09:12,698 That's good. 188 00:09:14,884 --> 00:09:16,813 Okay. Thank you so much, Tria. 189 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:18,846 We're gonna stop here, okay? 190 00:09:19,650 --> 00:09:22,469 When we started this session, you said that your, um, 191 00:09:22,556 --> 00:09:24,651 distress and discomfort, 192 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,610 having to keep your sister's secret down 193 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,208 for all those years... 194 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,115 said it was about a nine or a ten. 195 00:09:31,202 --> 00:09:32,581 Is that correct? 196 00:09:33,626 --> 00:09:35,345 - When I thought of it, yes. - Right. 197 00:09:35,432 --> 00:09:37,115 You said you-you didn't let yourself 198 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,307 think about it often, right? 199 00:09:39,798 --> 00:09:41,862 Because of how painful it was for you? 200 00:09:42,626 --> 00:09:45,510 Would you do me a favor and imagine that scene again now? 201 00:09:50,874 --> 00:09:51,905 And? 202 00:09:52,015 --> 00:09:55,417 What's the level of your current discomfort? 203 00:10:00,335 --> 00:10:03,102 Maybe a... a two. 204 00:10:07,945 --> 00:10:09,805 It feels further away. 205 00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:13,641 Like it's happening to someone else. 206 00:10:18,437 --> 00:10:19,837 Okay. 207 00:10:20,022 --> 00:10:22,389 So, the idea behind 208 00:10:22,476 --> 00:10:26,545 eye movement desensitization and reprocessing... EMDR... 209 00:10:26,632 --> 00:10:29,053 Is to, um, reorganize our memories 210 00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:32,684 such that they feel more neutral and less, uh... less charged. 211 00:10:32,771 --> 00:10:33,801 Yeah? 212 00:10:33,888 --> 00:10:35,555 Why does it work? 213 00:10:36,617 --> 00:10:38,358 Nobody knows for sure, to be honest. 214 00:10:38,445 --> 00:10:41,068 But we hypothesize that its effectiveness 215 00:10:41,155 --> 00:10:43,233 has something to do with imitating 216 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,305 what happens in the brain during REM. 217 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,738 Basically, we believe that mental healing 218 00:10:47,825 --> 00:10:49,139 is a lot like physical healing. 219 00:10:49,226 --> 00:10:51,038 Our body wants to repair itself. 220 00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:54,506 But if a foreign object or-or a... a repeated injury 221 00:10:54,593 --> 00:10:59,055 irritates a physical wound, it's not going to heal. 222 00:10:59,257 --> 00:11:01,906 Our mind heals from psychological trauma 223 00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:03,475 in very much the same way. 224 00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:04,913 If the system is blocked 225 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,016 by a disturbing memory, 226 00:11:07,648 --> 00:11:09,782 the emotional wound is going to fester, 227 00:11:09,913 --> 00:11:12,477 and it causes an intense amount of suffering. 228 00:11:12,609 --> 00:11:13,907 So, what EMDR does, basically, 229 00:11:13,994 --> 00:11:15,958 it's-it's, um... it diffuses that block. 230 00:11:16,045 --> 00:11:17,062 It, uh, 231 00:11:17,130 --> 00:11:19,345 neutralizes its potency 232 00:11:19,586 --> 00:11:22,334 so that we can basically heal our own minds. 233 00:11:24,187 --> 00:11:25,602 Yep, you in the back? 234 00:11:25,758 --> 00:11:27,497 Can you, uh, talk specifically 235 00:11:27,584 --> 00:11:28,614 about your experiences 236 00:11:28,701 --> 00:11:30,380 doing this kind of work with veterans? 237 00:11:30,531 --> 00:11:32,033 Excellent question. 238 00:11:32,202 --> 00:11:35,335 You know, in three separate clinical trials last year alone, 239 00:11:35,422 --> 00:11:39,290 it was recently reported that after 12 EMDR sessions 240 00:11:39,377 --> 00:11:42,155 77.7% of combat veterans 241 00:11:42,242 --> 00:11:44,681 no longer met the criteria for PTSD. 242 00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:47,624 All right, we're about to take a break. 243 00:11:47,711 --> 00:11:50,405 Uh, find a partner. Spread around. 244 00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:52,848 I want you to experience this technique for yourselves. 245 00:11:52,935 --> 00:11:54,725 Take an hour and, uh, come back here 246 00:11:54,812 --> 00:11:55,915 to discuss your discoveries. 247 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,212 Thank you, guys. 248 00:12:31,589 --> 00:12:33,759 It's pretty interesting stuff, huh? 249 00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:36,569 You scared me. 250 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:39,036 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not that terrifying. 251 00:12:39,123 --> 00:12:40,716 Do you forgive me? 252 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,692 What are you doing here? 253 00:12:43,343 --> 00:12:45,105 Stalking you, of course. 254 00:12:46,777 --> 00:12:48,364 I'm kidding. 255 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,901 Um, the VHA, they sent me here to investigate this therapy. 256 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,255 We think it could be helpful for our guys. 257 00:12:54,495 --> 00:12:55,697 Oh. 258 00:12:56,097 --> 00:12:57,823 You want to try it out? 259 00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,192 Partner up? 260 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,572 Um, yeah. 261 00:13:01,874 --> 00:13:02,925 Okay. 262 00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:04,269 Cool. 263 00:13:04,356 --> 00:13:05,398 Okay. 264 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:06,964 Oh, sorry. 265 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:24,861 Okay. 266 00:13:37,009 --> 00:13:38,956 - All right, um... - Okay. 267 00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,687 Let's see. Uh... 268 00:13:46,587 --> 00:13:48,876 It says, uh, we can start with... 269 00:13:49,103 --> 00:13:51,667 taking an oral history of each other. 270 00:13:52,751 --> 00:13:54,503 That sounds a little dirty, doesn't it? 271 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,471 Then, uh, 272 00:13:56,558 --> 00:13:58,211 we move on to the 273 00:13:58,298 --> 00:14:00,698 question and finger metronome thing. 274 00:14:02,064 --> 00:14:03,117 Are you, uh... 275 00:14:03,204 --> 00:14:04,586 Are you nervous? You seem nervous. 276 00:14:04,673 --> 00:14:06,672 - No, no, I'm... No. - I'm nervous. 277 00:14:06,759 --> 00:14:07,781 Okay. 278 00:14:07,986 --> 00:14:09,870 I'm a little nervous. 279 00:14:10,736 --> 00:14:14,089 Never done anything like this before, so... 280 00:14:14,176 --> 00:14:15,956 Yeah. Me, neither. 281 00:14:16,533 --> 00:14:18,776 Glad my first time will be with you, though. 282 00:14:26,579 --> 00:14:27,787 So... 283 00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:29,674 what are your traumas? 284 00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:33,650 Um... 285 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,292 Well, my dad left my mom, 286 00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:40,971 but that was before I was born, so... 287 00:14:41,853 --> 00:14:43,690 Okay. Um... 288 00:14:44,111 --> 00:14:45,917 You said you were twice divorced? 289 00:14:46,062 --> 00:14:47,643 Any trauma there? 290 00:14:49,779 --> 00:14:50,820 What? 291 00:14:51,009 --> 00:14:52,813 Okay, all right. 292 00:14:53,197 --> 00:14:54,940 Well, what does that leave us with? 293 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,034 Um, any phobias? 294 00:14:57,629 --> 00:14:59,471 Well, um... 295 00:15:00,344 --> 00:15:02,073 I don't love the ocean. 296 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:03,992 Classic. 297 00:15:04,079 --> 00:15:05,277 Okay. Water. 298 00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:07,784 Um, let's start with that. 299 00:15:07,871 --> 00:15:08,941 You ready? 300 00:15:09,028 --> 00:15:10,342 Mm-hmm. 301 00:15:22,430 --> 00:15:24,166 Close your eyes. 302 00:15:25,548 --> 00:15:27,206 Think of the ocean. 303 00:15:28,346 --> 00:15:29,783 Okay. 304 00:15:34,272 --> 00:15:35,589 Hold, please. 305 00:15:35,988 --> 00:15:37,111 You're a natural. 306 00:15:37,179 --> 00:15:38,230 Yeah. Hold on. 307 00:15:38,298 --> 00:15:39,577 Um... ah, here we go. 308 00:15:39,664 --> 00:15:42,188 It, uh... it says here we can start 309 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,704 with your earliest memory of the trauma, 310 00:15:44,791 --> 00:15:47,323 your worst memory or the most recent one. 311 00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:51,503 So, did... something traumatic happen in the ocean? 312 00:15:52,696 --> 00:15:54,079 Uh, yeah. 313 00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:56,750 - Are you thinking about it? - Mm-hmm. 314 00:15:56,837 --> 00:15:57,894 Okay. Just 315 00:15:57,962 --> 00:15:59,549 making sure I'm doing it right. 316 00:15:59,947 --> 00:16:01,444 Um, okay. 317 00:16:01,531 --> 00:16:03,792 So, let's follow my hand again. 318 00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:16,276 Close your eyes. 319 00:16:17,103 --> 00:16:18,670 Take a breath. 320 00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:27,643 What do you notice? 321 00:16:28,977 --> 00:16:30,807 I'm on the beach. 322 00:16:32,477 --> 00:16:34,090 What time of day is it? 323 00:16:34,212 --> 00:16:35,619 Evening. 324 00:16:37,501 --> 00:16:38,956 Are you alone? 325 00:16:39,345 --> 00:16:40,540 No. 326 00:16:41,431 --> 00:16:43,370 I'm with some friends. 327 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,206 We're having a barbecue. 328 00:16:49,149 --> 00:16:51,534 My son is playing in the surf. 329 00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:54,267 Your son? 330 00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,103 Okay. 331 00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:02,239 Good. 332 00:17:02,665 --> 00:17:04,189 Let's go with that. 333 00:17:16,832 --> 00:17:18,365 Close your eyes. 334 00:17:19,027 --> 00:17:20,435 Take a breath. 335 00:17:22,105 --> 00:17:23,716 What do you notice? 336 00:17:26,551 --> 00:17:28,162 It's getting late. 337 00:17:30,075 --> 00:17:32,677 The sun is going down, and I'm cold. 338 00:17:38,879 --> 00:17:40,043 Okay. 339 00:17:40,746 --> 00:17:42,224 Let's go with that. 340 00:17:51,095 --> 00:17:52,724 Close your eyes. 341 00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:56,185 What do you notice? 342 00:18:03,152 --> 00:18:04,382 I-I don't know. 343 00:18:04,731 --> 00:18:06,128 Nothing. Just... 344 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,626 - Nothing? - Yeah. 345 00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:10,482 The beach, the sand, our friends. 346 00:18:10,569 --> 00:18:12,099 It's more of the same. 347 00:18:13,955 --> 00:18:15,927 Okay. Um... 348 00:18:17,174 --> 00:18:19,037 We can try this technique. 349 00:18:33,576 --> 00:18:35,209 Close your eyes. 350 00:18:41,582 --> 00:18:44,701 Now, what do you notice? 351 00:18:47,489 --> 00:18:49,881 My husband isn't paying attention. 352 00:18:51,271 --> 00:18:53,318 He's flirting with a woman. 353 00:18:55,044 --> 00:18:56,841 I just want to leave. 354 00:18:59,614 --> 00:19:01,011 I call out to my son. 355 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,068 I tell him it's time to come out. 356 00:19:05,614 --> 00:19:09,050 Cole says he's watching the children and they're fine. 357 00:19:16,921 --> 00:19:18,473 Okay. 358 00:19:21,681 --> 00:19:23,151 Go with that. 359 00:19:40,342 --> 00:19:42,203 I'm inside my house. 360 00:19:43,284 --> 00:19:45,023 I've gone to get a blanket. 361 00:19:50,577 --> 00:19:52,591 I hear a commotion from my window. 362 00:19:52,678 --> 00:19:53,873 Shouting. 363 00:19:55,186 --> 00:19:57,083 I look out, and I see a group of people 364 00:19:57,170 --> 00:19:58,696 pulling something from the water. 365 00:19:58,783 --> 00:20:00,187 It looks like a child. 366 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:07,255 Okay. Good. 367 00:20:07,342 --> 00:20:09,125 Good. Let's go with that. 368 00:20:16,219 --> 00:20:17,913 Close your eyes. 369 00:20:19,795 --> 00:20:20,947 So... 370 00:20:21,450 --> 00:20:23,203 you're looking out the window. 371 00:20:30,781 --> 00:20:32,798 I'm seeing something else now. 372 00:20:33,585 --> 00:20:35,250 - What do you see? - I'm in the water. 373 00:20:35,347 --> 00:20:36,968 You're-you're in the water? 374 00:20:37,491 --> 00:20:38,550 I can't breathe. 375 00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:40,329 I'm choking on the water. 376 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,339 My lungs are on fire. 377 00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:47,199 And then these hands, these... 378 00:20:47,286 --> 00:20:49,649 - Whose hands? - Two big, strong hands are... 379 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,040 pulling me from the water, and... 380 00:20:54,008 --> 00:20:56,141 The air is warm. 381 00:20:59,707 --> 00:21:01,493 Okay, good. 382 00:21:01,897 --> 00:21:03,298 Go with that. 383 00:21:04,871 --> 00:21:06,395 I can't. I'm... 384 00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:08,141 I'm sorry. I can't. 385 00:21:16,246 --> 00:21:17,640 Alison. 386 00:21:22,385 --> 00:21:23,940 Are you all right? 387 00:21:25,641 --> 00:21:27,100 Yeah. 388 00:21:27,187 --> 00:21:29,323 You need anything? 389 00:21:34,744 --> 00:21:36,331 Want me to leave you alone? 390 00:21:38,937 --> 00:21:40,187 No. 391 00:21:45,664 --> 00:21:46,954 You know what we should do? 392 00:21:47,070 --> 00:21:48,596 We should meet up all over the country 393 00:21:48,683 --> 00:21:50,439 at different PTSD conferences. 394 00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:51,866 What? 395 00:21:51,953 --> 00:21:54,340 Yeah, there's a, uh, CPT conference 396 00:21:54,419 --> 00:21:55,819 happening in Milwaukee in two weeks. 397 00:21:55,895 --> 00:21:56,948 You want to go? 398 00:21:57,187 --> 00:21:58,406 Seriously? 399 00:21:58,711 --> 00:21:59,903 I kind of like this idea. 400 00:21:59,990 --> 00:22:02,704 It's like a really fucked-up, quirky romantic comedy. 401 00:22:02,791 --> 00:22:04,118 Very Woody Allen. 402 00:22:04,205 --> 00:22:06,717 Yeah. Okay. 403 00:22:06,804 --> 00:22:08,186 Well, think about it. 404 00:22:08,273 --> 00:22:09,813 I'll text you the information. 405 00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:11,556 Pretty sure it's two weeks from now. 406 00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:13,770 Oh, no, I... I don't think I can. 407 00:22:13,857 --> 00:22:16,134 I have my daughter that weekend, so... 408 00:22:16,686 --> 00:22:20,142 Oh. Well, yeah, that's more important. 409 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:21,875 Yeah. 410 00:22:26,258 --> 00:22:27,931 Want to rent a boat? 411 00:22:29,608 --> 00:22:30,796 What, now? 412 00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:32,059 Yeah, right now. 413 00:22:32,146 --> 00:22:33,564 We'll go out for the afternoon. 414 00:22:34,477 --> 00:22:37,036 What better way to get you over this fear of the ocean, right? 415 00:22:37,123 --> 00:22:39,661 And since I clearly fucked up your EMDR, 416 00:22:39,748 --> 00:22:41,306 I gotta find another way. 417 00:22:41,398 --> 00:22:44,478 I'm thinking, uh, immersion therapy. 418 00:23:09,537 --> 00:23:11,384 Alison, we got a boat. 419 00:23:11,625 --> 00:23:13,431 - Hey. - Oh. 420 00:23:24,177 --> 00:23:26,024 You having fun yet? 421 00:23:26,344 --> 00:23:27,648 What? 422 00:23:27,983 --> 00:23:30,439 Are you having fun yet? 423 00:23:30,541 --> 00:23:33,803 I can't hear you. 424 00:23:34,665 --> 00:23:36,571 Never mind. 425 00:24:00,483 --> 00:24:01,953 Here we go. 426 00:24:07,077 --> 00:24:09,328 You hungry? They packed us lunch. 427 00:24:09,415 --> 00:24:11,355 - Really? - Yeah, it's, uh, 428 00:24:11,442 --> 00:24:12,511 right behind the captain's seat 429 00:24:12,598 --> 00:24:14,039 - in the cooler. - Oh. 430 00:24:23,994 --> 00:24:25,616 Ah, I'll put this away. 431 00:24:25,703 --> 00:24:26,899 No, don't worry about it. 432 00:24:26,986 --> 00:24:28,394 Honestly, I'm fine. 433 00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:29,808 You should drink it. 434 00:24:30,052 --> 00:24:31,933 I bet you're a cute drunk. 435 00:24:36,642 --> 00:24:38,107 Was it hard? 436 00:24:38,194 --> 00:24:39,623 Getting sober? 437 00:24:40,350 --> 00:24:42,529 Yeah. Yeah, it fucking sucked. 438 00:24:42,697 --> 00:24:46,378 Uh, for a while, I thought I'd rather be dead. 439 00:24:46,530 --> 00:24:48,532 But the person I am when I drink 440 00:24:48,619 --> 00:24:51,417 is someone I hate, and, uh, 441 00:24:51,718 --> 00:24:54,102 person I am when I'm sober, well, that's... 442 00:24:54,192 --> 00:24:55,912 that's someone I can live with. 443 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,297 - What about you? - Me? 444 00:25:01,384 --> 00:25:03,854 Any chemical dependencies I should know about? 445 00:25:04,063 --> 00:25:06,352 No. Miraculously. 446 00:25:10,103 --> 00:25:12,180 I did used to cut myself, though. 447 00:25:14,616 --> 00:25:15,843 You mean... 448 00:25:15,930 --> 00:25:17,030 For fun? 449 00:25:17,254 --> 00:25:18,977 Yeah, kind of. 450 00:25:20,162 --> 00:25:21,672 To feel better. 451 00:25:24,011 --> 00:25:25,633 That's awful. 452 00:25:26,130 --> 00:25:27,422 Yeah, it was. 453 00:25:29,322 --> 00:25:31,211 Tried to kill myself once, too. 454 00:25:35,820 --> 00:25:38,859 Uh, I really don't know why I'm telling you this. 455 00:25:39,246 --> 00:25:40,577 I... 456 00:25:42,199 --> 00:25:44,570 Maybe because you think I'd understand. 457 00:25:49,094 --> 00:25:50,319 So... 458 00:25:51,222 --> 00:25:53,266 you have a son and daughter. 459 00:25:54,943 --> 00:25:56,984 I think I will have some of that wine. 460 00:25:57,421 --> 00:25:58,483 Please. 461 00:25:58,577 --> 00:26:00,422 Yeah, thank you. 462 00:26:00,598 --> 00:26:01,620 Yeah, I got it. 463 00:26:01,707 --> 00:26:03,055 - All right. - Yeah. 464 00:26:19,069 --> 00:26:20,633 I did have a son. 465 00:26:21,494 --> 00:26:23,000 But he drowned. 466 00:26:23,460 --> 00:26:24,772 Wh-What? 467 00:26:30,131 --> 00:26:31,522 So... 468 00:26:32,944 --> 00:26:35,281 that memory that day at the, uh... 469 00:26:35,475 --> 00:26:38,500 at the beach with your husband and the blanket, 470 00:26:38,587 --> 00:26:40,789 was that the day your son...? 471 00:26:42,163 --> 00:26:43,553 Yeah. 472 00:26:44,577 --> 00:26:47,188 Oh, my God, I'm sorry, Alison. 473 00:26:53,276 --> 00:26:55,552 What about the hands? 474 00:26:55,639 --> 00:26:57,745 You said they pulled him out of the water 475 00:26:57,832 --> 00:26:59,025 and he was on the beach. He could breathe. 476 00:26:59,112 --> 00:27:00,702 No, no, uh... 477 00:27:02,285 --> 00:27:03,858 that wasn't him. 478 00:27:04,733 --> 00:27:05,861 No, that was me. 479 00:27:05,948 --> 00:27:08,936 That was a, uh, dream I used to have. 480 00:27:10,109 --> 00:27:11,297 That's why it's so weird 481 00:27:11,384 --> 00:27:13,002 that it came up again in the EMDR. 482 00:27:13,089 --> 00:27:14,397 It just, uh... 483 00:27:16,950 --> 00:27:19,588 No, anyway, um, Gabriel died that day. 484 00:27:19,675 --> 00:27:21,077 He was four. 485 00:27:21,823 --> 00:27:23,506 Nobody saved him. 486 00:27:29,031 --> 00:27:30,978 Anyway, you know, it's taken me 487 00:27:31,065 --> 00:27:34,202 a very long time to say this without wanting to die. 488 00:27:35,075 --> 00:27:36,702 My son drowned. 489 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:39,413 He drowned. 490 00:27:44,344 --> 00:27:45,728 And... 491 00:27:46,230 --> 00:27:48,683 that's what you walk around carrying every day? 492 00:27:49,385 --> 00:27:50,831 Your own son? 493 00:27:52,176 --> 00:27:53,369 Yeah. 494 00:27:54,752 --> 00:27:57,573 You seem so together, so functional. 495 00:27:58,002 --> 00:28:00,112 I am, most days. 496 00:28:00,309 --> 00:28:02,151 It's taken me a while. 497 00:28:10,721 --> 00:28:12,417 What's that face? 498 00:28:13,702 --> 00:28:15,308 You amaze me. 499 00:28:21,575 --> 00:28:24,120 You know what's really weird about that dream? 500 00:28:24,632 --> 00:28:26,933 When I'm drowning and someone rescues me? 501 00:28:28,577 --> 00:28:30,839 I used to have it all the time as a child. 502 00:28:31,510 --> 00:28:35,542 I remember being five or six and... 503 00:28:35,875 --> 00:28:37,808 being afraid to go to sleep. 504 00:28:38,001 --> 00:28:40,464 Eventually, I stopped having it, but... 505 00:28:41,017 --> 00:28:42,695 when Gabriel died, 506 00:28:43,424 --> 00:28:45,448 it all came rushing back. 507 00:28:46,174 --> 00:28:47,447 And the... 508 00:28:50,635 --> 00:28:52,253 It's the same beach. 509 00:28:53,837 --> 00:28:55,987 I can see the lighthouse in the distance. 510 00:28:56,447 --> 00:28:59,175 I can see my house behind me, past the dunes. 511 00:29:02,001 --> 00:29:05,511 And ever since, I've wondered if it was a, um... 512 00:29:05,598 --> 00:29:06,847 Premonition. 513 00:29:09,234 --> 00:29:10,980 A premonition. 514 00:29:11,855 --> 00:29:13,597 Not a dream at all. 515 00:29:16,541 --> 00:29:18,120 So you think you saw 516 00:29:18,228 --> 00:29:20,643 what happened to your son before it happened. 517 00:29:21,829 --> 00:29:24,260 If I say yes, will you think I'm crazy? 518 00:29:25,056 --> 00:29:26,551 No. 519 00:29:27,408 --> 00:29:30,643 I think there's all sorts of ways of knowing things, Alison. 520 00:29:33,267 --> 00:29:34,783 What if... 521 00:29:36,135 --> 00:29:37,657 What if something or somebody 522 00:29:37,744 --> 00:29:39,854 was trying to tell me to watch out? 523 00:29:42,299 --> 00:29:43,854 Like, be ready? 524 00:29:46,064 --> 00:29:48,151 And when the time came, I missed it? 525 00:30:00,942 --> 00:30:03,135 I haven't told anyone this before. 526 00:30:04,191 --> 00:30:06,596 Not Cole. Not Noah. 527 00:30:10,595 --> 00:30:12,009 Come here. 528 00:30:14,220 --> 00:30:15,704 Why? 529 00:30:17,319 --> 00:30:19,307 I just want you to be closer. 530 00:30:31,635 --> 00:30:34,682 You know, a lot of people have nightmares about drowning. 531 00:30:35,649 --> 00:30:37,635 Maybe it's just a... 532 00:30:37,841 --> 00:30:40,003 childhood fantasy about being saved. 533 00:30:40,103 --> 00:30:41,897 But why would I dream of the same beach 534 00:30:41,984 --> 00:30:43,385 where he died? 535 00:30:44,236 --> 00:30:46,229 Well, maybe you didn't originally. 536 00:30:46,572 --> 00:30:48,776 Maybe you added that part later. 537 00:30:49,447 --> 00:30:52,604 Maybe because you're looking for a way to blame yourself. 538 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,401 You'd make a good shrink. 539 00:31:04,228 --> 00:31:06,721 What am I doing on a boat with you? 540 00:31:07,130 --> 00:31:09,284 It was your idea. 541 00:31:14,231 --> 00:31:15,799 Should we head back? 542 00:31:20,108 --> 00:31:21,567 Okay. 543 00:31:23,908 --> 00:31:25,423 All right. 544 00:32:19,234 --> 00:32:20,912 Wait, wait. 545 00:32:24,246 --> 00:32:27,727 Well, this is a complete disaster. 546 00:32:30,302 --> 00:32:31,655 Right. 547 00:33:29,994 --> 00:33:31,182 You all right? 548 00:33:31,303 --> 00:33:32,459 I'm fine. 549 00:33:32,546 --> 00:33:35,675 Geez. I thought you had a fucking stroke. 550 00:33:37,426 --> 00:33:39,605 I was just trying to get away from you. 551 00:33:41,340 --> 00:33:43,292 So much for your fear of the ocean. 552 00:33:44,372 --> 00:33:46,202 You're insane. You know that, right? 553 00:33:46,289 --> 00:33:48,870 Yeah, yeah. I've heard that before. 554 00:33:57,063 --> 00:33:58,434 Hey, Ben? 555 00:33:58,521 --> 00:34:00,199 Hey, Alison? 556 00:34:00,774 --> 00:34:02,581 I'm having a very nice time 557 00:34:02,668 --> 00:34:04,284 not having sex with you. 558 00:34:05,532 --> 00:34:07,604 Well, don't get too used to it. 559 00:35:28,885 --> 00:35:31,313 What the fuck are you doing, man? 560 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,487 Come on. We're going someplace. 561 00:35:33,713 --> 00:35:35,135 What? 562 00:35:35,780 --> 00:35:37,039 You and me? 563 00:35:37,126 --> 00:35:38,217 That's right. 564 00:35:38,304 --> 00:35:40,300 Uh-uh, dude. No way. 565 00:35:45,981 --> 00:35:47,745 What's that smell, man? 566 00:35:47,885 --> 00:35:49,331 Lighter fluid. 567 00:35:49,507 --> 00:35:51,769 Yo, I'm not going anywhere with you. 568 00:35:51,856 --> 00:35:53,342 Fucking psychopath. 569 00:35:53,429 --> 00:35:54,836 Oh, I think you are. 570 00:35:54,923 --> 00:35:56,956 Or else what, man? 571 00:35:57,430 --> 00:35:59,859 You're gonna just light me on fire? 572 00:36:00,027 --> 00:36:01,580 I might. 573 00:36:04,353 --> 00:36:05,951 So it's now been, uh, 574 00:36:06,038 --> 00:36:08,304 six years, three months and two days 575 00:36:08,391 --> 00:36:11,688 since the accident, and, uh, 576 00:36:11,775 --> 00:36:15,292 I've rebuilt a bit of a relationship with my kids. 577 00:36:15,827 --> 00:36:18,381 My ex-wife still doesn't speak to me, 578 00:36:18,468 --> 00:36:20,550 but I can't say I blame her. 579 00:36:20,822 --> 00:36:23,279 I saw her the other day at the grocery store, 580 00:36:23,366 --> 00:36:25,690 and she pretended not to see me. 581 00:36:27,379 --> 00:36:29,159 But one day at a time. 582 00:36:30,556 --> 00:36:32,339 I thank God every day 583 00:36:32,426 --> 00:36:34,454 that I'm still alive and that I get to have 584 00:36:34,541 --> 00:36:38,972 another sunrise to try to... do it better. 585 00:36:41,033 --> 00:36:42,155 Thanks. 586 00:36:42,242 --> 00:36:43,855 I'm being fucking kidnapped. 587 00:36:43,942 --> 00:36:45,284 No talking. 588 00:36:53,828 --> 00:36:55,780 Hi. My name is Ben, and I'm an addict. 589 00:36:55,867 --> 00:36:57,464 - Hey, Ben. - Hey, Ben. 590 00:36:58,470 --> 00:37:00,511 I'm so grateful I found this meeting. 591 00:37:00,598 --> 00:37:02,909 I'm, uh... I'm not from around here. 592 00:37:03,593 --> 00:37:06,139 I, uh... I woke up this morning 593 00:37:06,226 --> 00:37:08,019 just itching for some blow, and... 594 00:37:08,505 --> 00:37:10,284 I knew I needed help. 595 00:37:10,822 --> 00:37:14,792 I've been, uh... I've been clean for about seven months now, 596 00:37:15,338 --> 00:37:17,524 and it's been the hardest thing I've ever done. 597 00:37:17,611 --> 00:37:19,940 And I did two tours in Afghanistan. 598 00:37:21,559 --> 00:37:23,417 You know, to be honest, 599 00:37:24,062 --> 00:37:25,946 the thing I struggle with the most in the program 600 00:37:26,033 --> 00:37:29,847 is not the drinking, but the abstinence. 601 00:37:33,153 --> 00:37:34,737 I miss women. 602 00:37:38,220 --> 00:37:41,909 But I know, for me, it's a... it's a slippery slope. 603 00:37:42,476 --> 00:37:43,897 Girls make me want to drink, 604 00:37:43,984 --> 00:37:46,542 and, uh, drinking makes me want to use. 605 00:37:50,260 --> 00:37:52,506 You know, when I got back from the sandbox, 606 00:37:52,593 --> 00:37:56,151 I was... I was completely numb. 607 00:38:00,028 --> 00:38:02,105 Couldn't get it up for my wife, 608 00:38:02,369 --> 00:38:05,175 so I started drinking in order to be able to fuck her. 609 00:38:06,024 --> 00:38:09,206 And then that led to using, 610 00:38:09,635 --> 00:38:11,855 then our marriage started to fall apart. 611 00:38:12,861 --> 00:38:16,190 Things that, uh, used to make me happy, 612 00:38:17,176 --> 00:38:19,252 I couldn't feel those things anymore. 613 00:38:21,227 --> 00:38:24,261 Couldn't feel anything except angry. 614 00:38:25,931 --> 00:38:27,189 It was hell. 615 00:38:27,276 --> 00:38:28,426 I like this guy. 616 00:38:28,513 --> 00:38:29,212 Any way... 617 00:38:29,299 --> 00:38:30,670 You should ask him to be your sponsor. 618 00:38:30,757 --> 00:38:31,748 No talking. 619 00:38:31,835 --> 00:38:33,592 I haven't had any PTSD attacks, 620 00:38:33,679 --> 00:38:35,190 and I've been feeling okay. 621 00:38:35,305 --> 00:38:36,780 You know, not good, not bad. 622 00:38:36,867 --> 00:38:39,690 Just... just okay. 623 00:38:41,962 --> 00:38:44,284 And then I met this girl, and... 624 00:38:46,791 --> 00:38:49,519 She's like the woman I've been looking for my whole life. 625 00:38:51,463 --> 00:38:54,769 But I spent the day with her on a boat yesterday. 626 00:38:54,861 --> 00:38:57,151 I wanted to drink so fucking bad. 627 00:39:00,382 --> 00:39:01,666 I didn't. 628 00:39:03,117 --> 00:39:04,391 That's why I'm here this morning. 629 00:39:04,478 --> 00:39:07,245 One day at a time, by the grace of God. 630 00:39:07,635 --> 00:39:09,128 So, thanks for letting me share. 631 00:39:17,306 --> 00:39:18,675 I appreciate it. 632 00:39:18,850 --> 00:39:20,659 It's a great place, so thank you. 633 00:39:20,746 --> 00:39:22,722 - You're welcome. - Bye. 634 00:39:26,457 --> 00:39:27,540 Hey, man. 635 00:39:27,670 --> 00:39:29,737 Hey. I'm Cole. 636 00:39:30,203 --> 00:39:31,275 Hi. 637 00:39:31,420 --> 00:39:32,932 That's Bram. 638 00:39:33,133 --> 00:39:34,561 I like what you said up there. 639 00:39:34,648 --> 00:39:37,659 And he's new to the program. He's looking for a sponsor. 640 00:39:39,330 --> 00:39:41,131 He's new to the program, huh? 641 00:39:41,218 --> 00:39:42,628 Yeah. Day one. 642 00:39:42,861 --> 00:39:44,414 You think he's gonna stick with it? 643 00:39:44,638 --> 00:39:47,089 Sure. He's 100% committed. 644 00:39:49,838 --> 00:39:52,670 Yeah, I'd like to, man, but, uh, I'm not from out here. 645 00:39:52,757 --> 00:39:54,225 Headed back to Hicksville now. 646 00:39:54,312 --> 00:39:56,758 My wife, she goes crazy with both kids 647 00:39:56,845 --> 00:39:58,141 on the weekends, and I'm already late. 648 00:39:58,228 --> 00:40:00,159 What about the girl you were talking about? 649 00:40:02,063 --> 00:40:04,199 You know how these things are, man, right? 650 00:40:04,421 --> 00:40:05,808 It's complicated. 651 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:08,698 Good to meet you, Cole. 652 00:40:08,785 --> 00:40:09,868 Good luck. 653 00:40:10,024 --> 00:40:11,370 You, too, kid. 654 00:40:17,111 --> 00:40:18,385 Hey, babe. 655 00:40:19,407 --> 00:40:20,885 Where have you been? 656 00:40:21,095 --> 00:40:23,011 Was trying to be a Good Samaritan. 657 00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:25,058 Did it work? 658 00:40:25,213 --> 00:40:26,424 No. 659 00:40:34,033 --> 00:40:35,648 What's with all the paperwork? 660 00:40:35,735 --> 00:40:37,391 Studying for your LSATs? 661 00:40:37,478 --> 00:40:39,646 Why would I be studying for the LSATs? 662 00:40:39,822 --> 00:40:41,897 I'm kidding. 663 00:40:42,752 --> 00:40:44,378 What's with all that stuff? 664 00:40:45,010 --> 00:40:48,237 Uh, they're my immigration forms. 665 00:40:49,791 --> 00:40:51,111 Really? 666 00:40:51,838 --> 00:40:53,064 Yeah. 667 00:40:53,390 --> 00:40:56,589 I'm thinking about applying for my citizenship after all. 668 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,175 Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? 669 00:40:59,593 --> 00:41:02,487 Right, but isn't that something we should talk about first? 670 00:41:02,682 --> 00:41:04,360 What is there to talk about? 671 00:41:04,447 --> 00:41:05,673 Well, the risk. 672 00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:06,922 What risk? 673 00:41:07,075 --> 00:41:08,288 That they would deport you. 674 00:41:08,375 --> 00:41:09,455 Yes. 675 00:41:10,174 --> 00:41:12,798 And that's why I need you to sign something for me. 676 00:41:12,885 --> 00:41:13,787 What's that? 677 00:41:13,874 --> 00:41:15,594 That's the hardship waiver. 678 00:41:15,744 --> 00:41:17,423 My only chance to become a citizen 679 00:41:17,510 --> 00:41:19,826 is by demonstrating that my deportation 680 00:41:19,913 --> 00:41:21,841 would create hardship for someone. 681 00:41:22,377 --> 00:41:23,632 So you want me to sign 682 00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:25,272 that it would create hardship for me? Sure. 683 00:41:25,359 --> 00:41:27,324 No, not for you. Joanie. 684 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:28,852 I'm confused. 685 00:41:28,939 --> 00:41:31,745 Look, Alison has a history of mental illness. 686 00:41:31,832 --> 00:41:33,329 It's been well documented. 687 00:41:33,416 --> 00:41:34,967 All we need to do is send in records 688 00:41:35,054 --> 00:41:38,464 of her hospitalization to prove that she's not a fit mother. 689 00:41:38,674 --> 00:41:41,808 But wait, I have drafted this letter. 690 00:41:41,957 --> 00:41:45,094 It's a statement on Joanie's behalf. 691 00:41:45,310 --> 00:41:46,738 I don't understand. 692 00:41:47,093 --> 00:41:48,913 I need you to ask Alison if she will let me 693 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,491 be Joanie's legal guardian. 694 00:41:50,578 --> 00:41:54,120 Luisa, we just went through this last year. 695 00:41:54,207 --> 00:41:55,160 I know. 696 00:41:55,603 --> 00:41:57,633 We gave her custody back. 697 00:41:57,720 --> 00:42:00,163 You wanted to do that. That was your idea. 698 00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:02,727 Yeah, I know. It was a... it was a mistake. 699 00:42:02,814 --> 00:42:04,095 A mistake for who? 700 00:42:04,182 --> 00:42:05,480 Well, for me. 701 00:42:05,757 --> 00:42:07,373 So you want me to ask Alison 702 00:42:07,460 --> 00:42:09,576 to declare herself an unfit mother 703 00:42:09,663 --> 00:42:11,014 after everything that she's been through? 704 00:42:11,101 --> 00:42:13,012 Yeah, but it would just be on paper. 705 00:42:13,099 --> 00:42:14,784 Nothing would have to change. 706 00:42:14,885 --> 00:42:17,151 We would still share custody of Joanie, 707 00:42:17,697 --> 00:42:19,784 but I could submit these forms. 708 00:42:20,025 --> 00:42:21,717 Say I was her mother, her only mother. 709 00:42:21,804 --> 00:42:23,043 And you don't think they're going to check? 710 00:42:23,130 --> 00:42:26,334 No. Do you think an ICE agent is coming to Montauk 711 00:42:26,421 --> 00:42:29,058 to check who picks Joanie up from fucking kindergarten? 712 00:42:29,158 --> 00:42:31,261 They don't give a shit, Cole. 713 00:42:31,424 --> 00:42:33,733 What they care, it's... it's what's on the paper. 714 00:42:33,820 --> 00:42:36,274 - I can't ask Alison to do this. - Why? 715 00:42:36,361 --> 00:42:38,698 Because it would break her heart. 716 00:42:43,517 --> 00:42:45,048 Then I-I can't stay. 717 00:42:45,135 --> 00:42:46,595 Oh, stop being so dramatic. 718 00:42:46,682 --> 00:42:48,269 Of course you can stay. 719 00:42:48,924 --> 00:42:50,535 Everything is fine here. 720 00:42:50,622 --> 00:42:52,237 We have a great life. 721 00:42:52,324 --> 00:42:54,034 No, you have a great life. 722 00:42:55,135 --> 00:42:56,569 You are turning this into a competition 723 00:42:56,656 --> 00:42:58,563 between you and her. You are. 724 00:42:58,650 --> 00:43:00,128 Think about what you're doing. 725 00:43:00,215 --> 00:43:02,179 Think about what you're asking me to do. 726 00:43:02,266 --> 00:43:03,210 I'm sorry. 727 00:43:03,297 --> 00:43:04,964 I-I can't go on like this. 728 00:43:05,729 --> 00:43:07,550 This is not a life for me. 729 00:43:07,637 --> 00:43:09,440 It might work for you, 730 00:43:09,527 --> 00:43:11,504 but this whole relationship, 731 00:43:11,591 --> 00:43:13,925 our marriage, it's been on your terms, Cole. 732 00:43:14,064 --> 00:43:15,672 We live in your town. 733 00:43:15,759 --> 00:43:18,204 We see your family. I work in your restaurant. 734 00:43:18,291 --> 00:43:19,753 I'll sell the restaurant. 735 00:43:20,101 --> 00:43:22,808 If that'll make you happy, I will sell the restaurant. 736 00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:27,878 What if I get deported? 737 00:43:29,283 --> 00:43:30,730 Would you come with me 738 00:43:31,017 --> 00:43:32,202 back to Ecuador? 739 00:43:32,289 --> 00:43:34,878 And leave Joanie here? Of course not. 740 00:43:38,968 --> 00:43:41,647 I'm tired of feeling like your domestic help, Cole. 741 00:43:41,734 --> 00:43:44,324 Stop that. You are my wife. 742 00:43:45,057 --> 00:43:46,488 Yeah, I live in this house. 743 00:43:46,593 --> 00:43:47,850 I cook your meals. 744 00:43:47,937 --> 00:43:49,905 I wash your clothes. I care for your daughter. 745 00:43:49,992 --> 00:43:51,517 But I have nothing of my own. 746 00:43:51,604 --> 00:43:52,736 Me. 747 00:43:52,953 --> 00:43:54,798 You have me. 748 00:43:56,183 --> 00:43:57,557 Really? 749 00:43:58,824 --> 00:44:00,300 I don't know. 750 00:44:04,783 --> 00:44:06,214 I don't know. 751 00:44:08,199 --> 00:44:09,998 You're gonna pick Joanie up, 752 00:44:10,085 --> 00:44:11,569 right, at Alison's? 753 00:44:11,656 --> 00:44:12,776 Yes. 754 00:44:12,915 --> 00:44:15,551 Well, maybe you can talk to her, 755 00:44:15,799 --> 00:44:17,605 see what she thinks. 756 00:44:57,244 --> 00:44:58,486 Ma. 757 00:45:00,096 --> 00:45:01,564 Mom! 758 00:45:03,153 --> 00:45:04,603 Mom! 759 00:45:10,836 --> 00:45:13,565 Well, look who it is... My wayward son. 760 00:45:18,705 --> 00:45:20,448 How's my granddaughter? 761 00:45:20,635 --> 00:45:21,920 She's good. 762 00:45:22,007 --> 00:45:23,784 She liked that thing you got her. 763 00:45:23,879 --> 00:45:25,167 What thing? 764 00:45:25,275 --> 00:45:27,651 The stretchy thing that makes a noise. 765 00:45:28,059 --> 00:45:29,464 The accordion? 766 00:45:29,551 --> 00:45:30,650 Yeah. 767 00:45:39,306 --> 00:45:40,839 What's wrong? 768 00:45:40,954 --> 00:45:42,380 What do you mean? 769 00:45:42,510 --> 00:45:45,401 You only eat like that when something's wrong. 770 00:45:45,772 --> 00:45:46,969 Eat like what? 771 00:45:47,056 --> 00:45:49,183 Like someone's going to take it away from you. 772 00:45:49,462 --> 00:45:51,720 All due respect, Mom, I was raised with three brothers. 773 00:45:51,807 --> 00:45:53,980 Somebody usually was going to take it away from me. 774 00:45:58,982 --> 00:46:00,378 How's business? 775 00:46:00,635 --> 00:46:02,917 What? It's fine. 776 00:46:03,741 --> 00:46:05,181 And Sheri? 777 00:46:06,103 --> 00:46:07,948 She's doing well. 778 00:46:10,770 --> 00:46:12,072 Do people laugh when they figure out 779 00:46:12,159 --> 00:46:14,600 that this place is called Sheri and Cherry's Fish Farm? 780 00:46:15,841 --> 00:46:18,717 No, you're the first person to make that joke. 781 00:46:21,567 --> 00:46:23,928 Anyway, business is thriving. 782 00:46:24,433 --> 00:46:26,953 Sheri appreciates my operational experience, 783 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,760 and I'm very happy to be helping an old friend. 784 00:46:33,998 --> 00:46:35,629 It's very impressive. 785 00:46:36,417 --> 00:46:38,338 Sorry I haven't come out here sooner to see it. 786 00:46:38,425 --> 00:46:40,325 It's only been for a few years. 787 00:46:40,512 --> 00:46:42,065 I know you've been very busy. 788 00:46:42,152 --> 00:46:43,656 I just said I'm sorry, Mom. 789 00:46:43,743 --> 00:46:45,096 What do you want, Cole? 790 00:46:45,183 --> 00:46:47,406 You only ever come around when there's something wrong, 791 00:46:47,493 --> 00:46:49,122 so what is it this time? 792 00:46:51,885 --> 00:46:53,894 I wanted to ask you some questions. 793 00:46:53,981 --> 00:46:55,046 What about? 794 00:46:55,133 --> 00:46:56,687 About you and Dad. 795 00:46:58,253 --> 00:46:59,542 Okay. 796 00:46:59,665 --> 00:47:01,340 What about me and Dad? 797 00:47:02,995 --> 00:47:04,551 Were you happy together? 798 00:47:04,676 --> 00:47:05,909 Yes. 799 00:47:06,082 --> 00:47:07,276 The whole time? 800 00:47:08,768 --> 00:47:11,055 Well, your father was a very unhappy man 801 00:47:11,142 --> 00:47:12,443 at the end of his life, Cole. 802 00:47:12,530 --> 00:47:14,916 Right, I know, so then how could you have been happy? 803 00:47:15,306 --> 00:47:17,651 I loved him, so I took all of him. 804 00:47:18,212 --> 00:47:19,862 How did you know? 805 00:47:19,977 --> 00:47:21,463 You just do. 806 00:47:26,887 --> 00:47:29,274 Luisa doesn't think that I love her. 807 00:47:30,291 --> 00:47:32,557 Okay. Well, do you love her? 808 00:47:32,644 --> 00:47:33,805 Of course I love her. 809 00:47:33,892 --> 00:47:35,682 Well, then why doesn't she know that? 810 00:47:35,769 --> 00:47:37,010 I don't know. 811 00:47:37,657 --> 00:47:40,549 She's a woman. She's crazy. 812 00:47:42,540 --> 00:47:44,651 She wants me to ask Alison 813 00:47:45,491 --> 00:47:47,771 to renounce her rights to being Joanie's parent, 814 00:47:47,858 --> 00:47:49,958 with the idea that it's gonna help her get her citizenship 815 00:47:50,045 --> 00:47:52,174 if she's Joanie's primary caregiver. 816 00:47:52,635 --> 00:47:55,119 Are you going to ask Alison to do that? 817 00:47:57,614 --> 00:47:58,962 Why not? 818 00:48:04,514 --> 00:48:07,760 Okay, then. Well, there's your answer. 819 00:48:13,590 --> 00:48:14,923 All right. 820 00:48:16,361 --> 00:48:17,623 Good talk. 821 00:48:20,006 --> 00:48:23,312 Why don't you take yourself on a walkabout, Cole? 822 00:48:23,803 --> 00:48:25,135 Take myself on a what? 823 00:48:25,222 --> 00:48:27,439 I sent your father on one years ago. 824 00:48:27,526 --> 00:48:29,065 Did him a world of good. 825 00:48:29,152 --> 00:48:30,276 You sent him on a what? 826 00:48:30,363 --> 00:48:32,386 - A walkabout. - I don't know what that is, Mom. 827 00:48:32,473 --> 00:48:34,906 You know, the thing they do in Australia. 828 00:48:34,993 --> 00:48:36,793 You want me to go to Australia? 829 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,374 You don't have to go to Australia. 830 00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:41,636 Your father went to California. 831 00:48:42,631 --> 00:48:44,296 What? When? 832 00:48:44,544 --> 00:48:46,388 Before you were born. 833 00:48:46,475 --> 00:48:47,851 For how long? 834 00:48:48,044 --> 00:48:49,648 About six months. 835 00:48:50,863 --> 00:48:51,911 Why? 836 00:48:52,128 --> 00:48:53,585 I asked him to. 837 00:48:53,987 --> 00:48:56,054 He seemed confused. 838 00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,913 I couldn't help him, so... 839 00:48:59,561 --> 00:49:01,373 I sent him off to figure it out. 840 00:49:01,460 --> 00:49:03,970 Dad just disappeared for six months? 841 00:49:04,057 --> 00:49:05,089 What did he do? 842 00:49:05,176 --> 00:49:06,648 I don't know exactly. 843 00:49:06,905 --> 00:49:08,137 I didn't ask. 844 00:49:08,224 --> 00:49:09,902 That was part of our deal. 845 00:49:10,483 --> 00:49:11,537 He left. 846 00:49:11,887 --> 00:49:14,393 Six months later, he came back 847 00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:15,867 with a surfboard. 848 00:49:16,219 --> 00:49:17,906 He seemed a little lighter. 849 00:49:18,009 --> 00:49:19,395 And you don't know where he went? 850 00:49:19,482 --> 00:49:21,648 Well, I know he went to California, 851 00:49:22,076 --> 00:49:25,773 to a town with a giant rock in the middle of the sea. 852 00:49:27,214 --> 00:49:28,659 I have a postcard from him. 853 00:49:28,746 --> 00:49:30,086 I'll find it for you. 854 00:49:34,064 --> 00:49:35,662 Hi, Daddy. 855 00:49:40,116 --> 00:49:41,570 Come here, kiddo. 856 00:49:43,108 --> 00:49:44,162 Hey. 857 00:49:44,615 --> 00:49:46,323 Hey. Look at you. 858 00:49:46,410 --> 00:49:48,314 - You look great. - Thank you. 859 00:49:48,638 --> 00:49:50,087 Are you wearing heels? 860 00:49:51,260 --> 00:49:52,703 It looks like it. 861 00:49:52,951 --> 00:49:54,359 You're going somewhere? 862 00:49:54,446 --> 00:49:55,839 I have a date. 863 00:49:56,123 --> 00:49:58,023 Here's Joanie's stuff. 864 00:49:58,308 --> 00:50:01,106 I, uh, packed a swimsuit because Luisa mentioned 865 00:50:01,193 --> 00:50:02,968 she's grown out of the one at your house. 866 00:50:03,114 --> 00:50:05,386 And we made some cookies this morning, 867 00:50:05,473 --> 00:50:07,403 so I put them in a container for you guys. 868 00:50:07,490 --> 00:50:08,786 Oh, you didn't have to do that. 869 00:50:08,873 --> 00:50:10,050 No, it's my pleasure. 870 00:50:10,137 --> 00:50:11,813 Hey. Bye, lovebug. 871 00:50:11,900 --> 00:50:14,485 Mmm. Not gonna see you all weekend. 872 00:50:14,572 --> 00:50:16,219 - Bye, Mama. - Bye, baby. 873 00:50:16,306 --> 00:50:17,331 All right. Off we go. 874 00:50:17,418 --> 00:50:19,153 Oh, hey. I'm gonna stop by 875 00:50:19,240 --> 00:50:20,308 next week with the paperwork 876 00:50:20,395 --> 00:50:21,886 for the sale of the Lobster Roll, okay? 877 00:50:21,973 --> 00:50:23,259 Okay. Sounds good. 878 00:50:23,346 --> 00:50:26,978 Oh, no, no, uh, wait. I want to ask, um... 879 00:50:27,191 --> 00:50:29,828 can you switch weekends in two weeks? 880 00:50:31,250 --> 00:50:32,583 Uh, yeah. 881 00:50:32,670 --> 00:50:33,818 Sure. Why? 882 00:50:33,934 --> 00:50:35,471 I have this PTSD conference 883 00:50:35,558 --> 00:50:37,367 I want to go to in Milwaukee, 884 00:50:37,802 --> 00:50:40,453 and I want to sign up before it gets too late. 885 00:50:41,834 --> 00:50:42,858 Done. 886 00:50:42,994 --> 00:50:44,757 Perfect. Thank you. 887 00:50:44,883 --> 00:50:46,373 All right, off we go. 888 00:50:46,460 --> 00:50:47,842 Have fun. 889 00:50:53,113 --> 00:50:54,754 Hey. Hey. 890 00:50:55,179 --> 00:50:56,481 Don't I know you? 891 00:50:56,949 --> 00:50:58,238 Cole? 892 00:50:59,199 --> 00:51:01,091 This is my friend Ben. 893 00:51:03,121 --> 00:51:04,794 Nice to meet you, Cole. 894 00:51:06,714 --> 00:51:08,591 Come on, Daddy. 895 00:51:21,882 --> 00:51:23,567 All righty. 896 00:51:26,660 --> 00:51:28,379 Good? All right. 897 00:51:33,550 --> 00:51:35,388 Be right back, kiddo. 898 00:51:42,929 --> 00:51:43,993 Hey. Listen. 899 00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:45,508 It's not what you think. 900 00:51:45,927 --> 00:51:47,417 I just... I'm sorry. 901 00:51:47,504 --> 00:51:49,799 I didn't want to make a scene in front of your daughter. 902 00:51:49,996 --> 00:51:53,128 - Does she know you're married? - No. 903 00:51:53,215 --> 00:51:55,034 - Of course not. - Look, I'm gonna tell her. 904 00:51:55,121 --> 00:51:57,159 Sure you are. Why don't I tell her myself? 905 00:51:57,246 --> 00:52:00,372 Hey, hey. My situation's complicated, all right? 906 00:52:00,459 --> 00:52:01,661 My marriage is over. 907 00:52:01,748 --> 00:52:02,835 It's been over for years. 908 00:52:02,922 --> 00:52:05,219 I tried to stick it out for the kids. 909 00:52:05,681 --> 00:52:06,806 Cole? 910 00:52:08,095 --> 00:52:09,619 Is everything okay? 911 00:52:11,353 --> 00:52:13,086 Yeah. Uh... 912 00:52:13,173 --> 00:52:14,732 Joanie forgot her goggles. 913 00:52:14,819 --> 00:52:17,017 Oh, sorry. One second. 914 00:52:21,430 --> 00:52:22,516 Thank you. 915 00:52:22,704 --> 00:52:23,880 Look, she's the first person 916 00:52:23,967 --> 00:52:26,181 I met in ten years that made me want to live. 917 00:52:26,626 --> 00:52:28,265 I'm gonna tell her the truth. 918 00:52:28,352 --> 00:52:29,502 Just give me a moment. 919 00:52:29,589 --> 00:52:31,752 Let me do it in the right way at the right time. 920 00:52:33,989 --> 00:52:35,502 What are you guys talking about? 921 00:52:35,593 --> 00:52:37,408 It turns out we do know each other. 922 00:52:37,495 --> 00:52:38,555 You do? 923 00:52:38,779 --> 00:52:41,267 Yeah. We met in an AA meeting. 924 00:52:41,522 --> 00:52:42,772 Oh. Yeah. 925 00:52:43,071 --> 00:52:45,119 Ben's a big believer in the program. 926 00:52:45,415 --> 00:52:47,022 It saved his life. 927 00:52:47,477 --> 00:52:49,416 Hey, but why were you there? 928 00:52:51,219 --> 00:52:52,672 I was just helping out a friend. 929 00:52:52,759 --> 00:52:54,047 Oh. Okay. 930 00:52:54,335 --> 00:52:55,529 You guys have a good weekend. 931 00:52:55,616 --> 00:52:56,797 Come on. 932 00:53:39,421 --> 00:53:40,813 What are you doing? 933 00:53:41,270 --> 00:53:42,478 Packing. 934 00:53:43,405 --> 00:53:44,980 Where are you going? 935 00:53:45,233 --> 00:53:46,454 I'm not sure. 936 00:53:46,541 --> 00:53:47,881 Luisa, stop. 937 00:53:48,057 --> 00:53:49,390 Please. 938 00:53:50,108 --> 00:53:51,787 Did you ask Alison? 939 00:53:53,353 --> 00:53:56,154 We have been over this so many times. 940 00:53:56,241 --> 00:53:58,152 Any immigration judge worth their salt 941 00:53:58,239 --> 00:53:59,347 is going to argue that you are 942 00:53:59,434 --> 00:54:00,766 legally auxiliary to the functioning 943 00:54:00,853 --> 00:54:02,563 - of this family. - Auxiliary? 944 00:54:03,303 --> 00:54:05,266 I said "legally." 945 00:54:06,171 --> 00:54:07,402 Where are you gonna go? 946 00:54:07,489 --> 00:54:09,002 I don't know. To my mother's. 947 00:54:09,177 --> 00:54:10,558 Luisa, stop. Stop. 948 00:54:10,645 --> 00:54:11,706 Please, we can figure this out. 949 00:54:11,793 --> 00:54:12,999 No. 950 00:54:13,486 --> 00:54:14,790 I love you. 951 00:54:15,764 --> 00:54:18,719 And for years, I have been waiting for you to choose me. 952 00:54:19,861 --> 00:54:22,047 For you to figure out that I am... 953 00:54:22,134 --> 00:54:23,441 stronger and kinder 954 00:54:23,528 --> 00:54:25,688 and more capable than she'll ever be. 955 00:54:26,466 --> 00:54:29,405 And that I am the one worth fighting for. 956 00:54:29,492 --> 00:54:31,500 But you don't, and you won't. 957 00:54:44,338 --> 00:54:45,719 What if I left? 958 00:54:47,526 --> 00:54:48,526 What? 959 00:54:49,845 --> 00:54:52,539 What if I went on a... 960 00:54:52,944 --> 00:54:54,398 on a walkabout? 961 00:54:54,994 --> 00:54:56,406 What's that? 962 00:55:00,241 --> 00:55:02,383 I know I'm disappointing you. 963 00:55:03,570 --> 00:55:05,867 And I know I'm hurting you, and you... 964 00:55:08,226 --> 00:55:09,703 ..deserve better. 965 00:55:11,553 --> 00:55:13,109 So, what if I left? 966 00:55:14,475 --> 00:55:16,074 Would you be willing to give me the time 967 00:55:16,161 --> 00:55:18,618 to just go away... 968 00:55:18,705 --> 00:55:19,811 Yes. 969 00:55:25,642 --> 00:55:26,767 Really? 970 00:55:27,812 --> 00:55:29,324 Yes, I would. 971 00:55:30,610 --> 00:55:32,383 I don't want this to end. 972 00:55:33,684 --> 00:55:35,758 I just need to know that I matter. 973 00:57:07,897 --> 00:57:11,719 Sync corrections by srjanapala 974 00:57:14,487 --> 00:57:17,616 ♪♪ 65054

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