All language subtitles for Obituary.S01E01.Death.Becomes.Her.1080p.RTE.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-NioN_track4_[eng]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German Download
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,800 (playfully spooky music) 2 00:00:14,879 --> 00:00:16,959 FEMALE VOICE: As far back as I can remember, 3 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:19,319 my life has been steeped in death. 4 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,519 (Heart monitor flatlines) 5 00:00:23,559 --> 00:00:25,720 MALE DOCTOR: Time of death, 11.20. 6 00:00:25,839 --> 00:00:27,559 (instruments clanging) 7 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,639 (wailing) 8 00:00:35,199 --> 00:00:37,959 V/O: Who knows if that's a bad thing. 9 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,040 But what I do know, is that death, 10 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:44,559 like a child's soother, has always been there for me 11 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,639 when I needed relief. 12 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,839 Unfortunately for me, 13 00:00:48,959 --> 00:00:50,919 relief is in short supply. 14 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:55,160 Remember... think of someone who annoys you. Pull the trigger. 15 00:00:55,279 --> 00:00:57,199 (gunshot) (glass smashing) 16 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,040 (gun reloading) 17 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,720 (gunshot) 18 00:01:06,559 --> 00:01:09,599 Look at you, getting good at this. 19 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,639 (gun reloading) 20 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:13,680 (gunshot) 21 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,519 Duh. I missed. 22 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,239 I wouldn't be so sure about that. 23 00:01:20,239 --> 00:01:22,680 V/O: Take my 10th birthday. 24 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,800 Stood over that dead deer, 25 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:28,080 it was the first time my father saw me happy. 26 00:01:28,199 --> 00:01:31,839 Like, actually... really happy. 27 00:01:33,519 --> 00:01:36,519 How I prayed it wouldn't be the last. 28 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,959 (sniffs) 29 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,400 What's that for? 30 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,080 (blood spilling) (flesh tearing) 31 00:01:51,199 --> 00:01:53,839 Being the kind of person I am, 32 00:01:53,959 --> 00:01:57,400 school would have been torture, but for two key things. 33 00:01:57,519 --> 00:01:59,279 My writing... 34 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,680 And my best friend, Mal. 35 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,360 I'm tellin' ya. You get up there, 36 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,000 you're gonna win this contest. 37 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,040 A couple of them fancy words, 38 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,559 and they'll be eating out of your hand. 39 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,559 And if that doesn't work? 40 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,440 Picture everyone naked. 41 00:02:16,559 --> 00:02:18,839 Now come on. Let's hear it. 42 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,199 (sighs) 43 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:27,080 'That day... while smashing her bully's skull off the credenza, 44 00:02:27,199 --> 00:02:29,639 surprise took hold.' 45 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,959 V/O: Picturing people naked was a bust. 46 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,440 But picturing them dead... bingo. 47 00:02:36,559 --> 00:02:38,839 'The sound of intracranial cracking 48 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,480 as brain splattered off walls...' That's disgusting! 49 00:02:41,599 --> 00:02:46,360 '.. was akin to a music this young girl had never heard before.' 50 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,360 V/O: Right then I realised 51 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,680 that death and writing were a powerful match. 52 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,720 'That this is where happiness lies.' 53 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,239 'Of course, like everything else that gave me peace, 54 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,319 it was fleeting.' 55 00:03:01,239 --> 00:03:05,040 'Yet when a doctor did finally see me about my crushing depression, 56 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,319 all we talked about were pills.' 57 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,480 'Oh, so many pills.' 58 00:03:11,239 --> 00:03:14,120 'But five years ago, I put the brakes on that.' 59 00:03:14,239 --> 00:03:17,599 'Those things made me sleepwalk, lose time.' 60 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,120 'Do batshit stuff I barely remember.' 61 00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:25,080 'The bottom line? They made me more dead than alive.' 62 00:03:25,199 --> 00:03:26,839 (rapping on glass) Elvira! 63 00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,800 'And I want to feel alive.' 64 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,720 Elvira! (furious knocking) 65 00:03:30,839 --> 00:03:33,919 'Then... (gleeful) something amazing happened!' 66 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,879 (keyboard tapping) 67 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,879 (dying gasp) 68 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,839 'You know, they say if you want to write, you have to sit down, 69 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:43,480 open a vein, and bleed on the page.' 70 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,360 'Talk about words to live by.' 71 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,279 'So, here I am.' 72 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,919 'The Kilraven Chronicle's brand new obituarist.' 73 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,559 'A job I've dreamed of. And yet... 74 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,239 .. this happiness I've yearned for remains missing.' 75 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,919 'Like a jigsaw piece lost down the side of a couch.' 76 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,000 When you're done, file it. 77 00:04:07,559 --> 00:04:10,400 And then what? Then you wait for someone to die. 78 00:04:10,519 --> 00:04:12,440 And when might that be? 79 00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:17,000 Clancy... never say that out loud. 80 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,199 Your job is to write obituaries. 81 00:04:19,319 --> 00:04:21,199 To take that talent you claimed you had 82 00:04:21,319 --> 00:04:24,680 to make the deceased alive, to give voice to the voiceless. 83 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,000 Not to sit there praying that some pensioner pops his clogs. 84 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:29,519 (ping) 85 00:04:29,639 --> 00:04:32,160 What are you looking at? Nothing. 86 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,599 Well then, get back to work. 87 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,839 It won't write itself. 88 00:04:40,599 --> 00:04:42,400 ♪♪ 89 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,319 (music builds to crescendo) 90 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,360 ELVIRA V/O: Population 5,000 and falling... 91 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:09,519 'Kilraven is like a fun fair in winter.. 92 00:05:09,639 --> 00:05:13,559 'Its people convinced that, if the sun only shone, 93 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,160 if that factory re-opened, 94 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:18,319 if the foreigners left, 95 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,959 their lives would be good again.' 96 00:05:21,599 --> 00:05:25,199 'On the surface, a bog-standard, backwater.' 97 00:05:25,319 --> 00:05:27,239 (gulls crying) 98 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,599 'But as my Dad likes to say, 99 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,839 under that veneer of nothingness, 100 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,080 there's a tonne of weird shit going on.' 101 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,919 (spooky music) 102 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,440 'Ah, funeral homes.' 103 00:05:43,519 --> 00:05:45,279 'Heaven!' 104 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,919 'And it's not just the peace and quiet or the human remains.' 105 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:53,839 'See, people go through life wearing big, stupid grins.' 106 00:05:53,959 --> 00:05:56,239 'Hiding how they really feel.' 107 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,639 'Here, there is no smiling.' 108 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:02,199 'Only tears, pain and impotence.' 109 00:06:02,919 --> 00:06:04,559 'Here... 110 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,680 .. you see people as they really are.' 111 00:06:08,879 --> 00:06:10,480 'Damn!' 112 00:06:10,599 --> 00:06:13,639 'That half-blind mortician made him more alive than my obituary did.' 113 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,480 My mammy gave you a tip. 114 00:06:21,599 --> 00:06:25,360 She insisted. Well... she wants it back. 115 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,639 She said your writing was rubbish. 116 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,919 I'm still finding my voice. 117 00:06:30,559 --> 00:06:33,279 She said you're at this six months. 118 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,959 Now, we expected better. 119 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,279 Look... 120 00:06:39,239 --> 00:06:41,120 .. Daddy was a farmer. 121 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:43,559 And a Fenian. 122 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:47,279 'No, Daddy was a fat fuck that barely fit inside this box.' 123 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,680 Yet, reading what you wrote, 124 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,680 'twas like I didn't even know the man. 125 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:55,000 Which, tells me, you didn't get to know the man. 126 00:06:55,120 --> 00:07:00,599 Which, last time I checked, was your job. 127 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,360 (toilet flushing) 128 00:07:10,319 --> 00:07:11,839 (door closing) 129 00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:13,720 (clears throat) 130 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,760 Patsy... Tom. 131 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,080 (menacing music) 132 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,080 I'm sorry for your loss. 133 00:07:25,199 --> 00:07:27,080 And I'm sorry for yours. 134 00:07:31,839 --> 00:07:33,519 (chatter) 135 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,120 ELVIRA V/O: Crime correspondents. 136 00:07:42,239 --> 00:07:44,519 'To some, a juicy gig.' 137 00:07:44,639 --> 00:07:47,519 'But to others, it's a slow death, 138 00:07:47,639 --> 00:07:50,000 haunted by unsolved murders.' 139 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,879 Who did this to you? 140 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,760 'For Clive, indeed, for Kilraven, 141 00:07:53,879 --> 00:07:56,120 that meant Maria Riedle.' 142 00:07:56,239 --> 00:07:59,040 Clive? My office. Now. 143 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,519 Ah, the Grim Reaper 144 00:08:03,639 --> 00:08:06,120 Out from behind the death desk. 145 00:08:06,239 --> 00:08:08,680 Tell me, is what this lot says true? 146 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,440 Is what true? 147 00:08:10,559 --> 00:08:14,000 Your co-workers reckon you listen to the death notices 148 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,480 as you twiddle your twaddle. 149 00:08:16,599 --> 00:08:18,400 (sniggering) 150 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,959 (door closing) 151 00:08:26,279 --> 00:08:28,376 (Hughie's voice slightly muffled) This gives me no joy, but... 152 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,279 I've two options. You either go freelance, 153 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,440 or I let you go. 154 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:34,456 Thirty years?! Just like that? What am I to do, Clive? 155 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,239 You know what, Burns? What? 156 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,120 Eat SHIT! 157 00:08:38,239 --> 00:08:40,239 Ah, come on! 158 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,959 Jesus. 159 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,480 Clancy... 160 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,519 Clive quit. It was his choice. 161 00:08:56,639 --> 00:08:59,919 'Cos you asked him to go freelance. Circulation is down. 162 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,440 I'm having to combine Farming with Fashion. 163 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,680 That will kill Kate. 164 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,559 No way! That's her. Getting the email now. 165 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,720 Perhaps you could combine birth notices with obituaries. 166 00:09:12,839 --> 00:09:14,839 Cut out the middleman. 167 00:09:14,959 --> 00:09:17,000 And perhaps your work could improve, just a tad, 168 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,160 so that the families stop bitching at me. 169 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,199 Look, you'll get 200 an obit. 170 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,319 No regular salary? We'll review it down the line. 171 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,040 Hughie... 172 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,839 .. on average, one person dies every ten days in this town. 173 00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:33,639 Sometimes, I've waited weeks. Isn't that a good thing? 174 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,639 Not when I'm supporting my father? 175 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:39,360 Chin up. At least you're still a reporter. 176 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,440 You're not stuck in here like me, 177 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:44,000 massaging ulcer-inducing spreadsheets. 178 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,800 But... How will I live? I dunno. 179 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,800 Maybe you should start killing people. 180 00:09:50,919 --> 00:09:52,959 (INTERNAL V/O) Maybe I can start with you. 181 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,199 Maybe I can start with you. 182 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,360 (awkward silence) 183 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,919 (laughs) 184 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,080 (nervous chuckle) 185 00:10:04,199 --> 00:10:05,959 THAT's the spirit. 186 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,120 Now, off you pop. 187 00:10:08,239 --> 00:10:10,319 It won't write itself. 188 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,400 ELVIRA V/O: Because I had my own stuff going on back then, 189 00:10:17,519 --> 00:10:19,760 I missed all the signs. 190 00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:23,800 'But it's like, one day, Dad woke up and decided. 191 00:10:24,519 --> 00:10:27,319 'You know, I think I'll take to the drink.' 192 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,839 You know, I read somewhere that freelancers 193 00:10:30,959 --> 00:10:33,599 get paid by the column, or even by the word, sometimes. 194 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,519 Or perhaps, never. 195 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,360 How is the 'aul noggin'? 196 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,839 It'd be a lot better if that was your last of the day. 197 00:10:42,959 --> 00:10:46,279 You know I'm always here for ya if you want to talk. 198 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,319 Yeah. 199 00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:51,400 The same applies to you. 200 00:10:52,839 --> 00:10:55,519 You can always get another job in the town. 201 00:10:55,639 --> 00:10:59,360 V/O: Notice he didn't tell me to get another job, in another town? 202 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:03,440 'Poor man. He can't see a future without me.' 203 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,760 I know you think you've got no future, but... 204 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,800 Writing's everything I have. 205 00:11:09,599 --> 00:11:13,519 This job, Dad... It's like, my life. 206 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,080 And by the way, 207 00:11:16,199 --> 00:11:18,440 you know if I'm broke, you're broke too, yeah? 208 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:20,319 Jesus! 209 00:11:22,879 --> 00:11:24,879 Tadaa! 210 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,400 I tell you something... 211 00:11:27,519 --> 00:11:29,400 .. nobody hurts my wee girl. (liquid flowing) 212 00:11:29,519 --> 00:11:32,680 Especially not that ballbag, Hughie. Shut the door! 213 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,199 It breaks my heart to see you like this. 214 00:11:36,879 --> 00:11:38,639 Hey... 215 00:11:39,519 --> 00:11:41,720 I could dust off my CV. 216 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,160 Are you gonna tell me to go back and wash my hands? No... 217 00:11:47,279 --> 00:11:49,959 CVs, Dad. That's what I just said. 218 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,160 That's what I've been writing. 219 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:56,160 But people's lives aren't CVs. 220 00:11:56,279 --> 00:11:58,919 They're much, much more. But I like your writing. 221 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,680 Yeah... (sighs) 222 00:12:01,199 --> 00:12:03,040 It can be better. How? 223 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:05,440 'Not always, but sometimes, 224 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,639 Dad inspires me.' 225 00:12:08,879 --> 00:12:11,120 I'm going to write advances. 226 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,559 Obituaries for the pre-dead. 227 00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,879 Like zombies? Like Michael Jackson. 228 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,440 Who did a mean zombie. And who, the minute he did die, 229 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,279 the big papers had his obit up on their websites. 230 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,519 Years in the making, researched, refined. 231 00:12:25,639 --> 00:12:27,639 Ready in a heartbeat to go to print. 232 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,239 (thud) 233 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:33,440 So you'll, what... pick old people? Sick people. 234 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:35,559 People whose lives dice with death. 235 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,720 And write them up before they do die. 236 00:12:40,199 --> 00:12:42,400 'These advances, with thought and time, 237 00:12:42,519 --> 00:12:44,639 will be heartfelt and moving.' 238 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,440 'Not crap jotted down as the coffin slides into the ground.' 239 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:51,559 'Something the families adore.' 240 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,519 (keyboard tapping) 241 00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:56,839 'That gives Hughie no choice but to put me back on full pay.' 242 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,360 ♪♪ 243 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,800 How does it feel, Alice? 244 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,160 To die? To know you're dying. 245 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,160 It's Rose I worry about. Your daughter? 246 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,519 A big lug of a thing. Tomboy. 247 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:30,480 I don't think she'll cope. She'll have to grieve. 248 00:13:30,599 --> 00:13:32,839 They say there are stages. 249 00:13:32,959 --> 00:13:36,919 Denial, anger bargaining, depression, and... 250 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,720 Suicide? Eh... no. 251 00:13:39,839 --> 00:13:41,639 Acceptance. 252 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,760 Here, who are you? 253 00:13:45,879 --> 00:13:51,160 I know, I shouldn't. But... Your daughter. 254 00:13:52,279 --> 00:13:53,599 Rose. 255 00:13:54,239 --> 00:13:55,760 Remember? 256 00:13:55,879 --> 00:13:58,120 Thank God! 257 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,680 I'm here, Mam. 258 00:14:01,319 --> 00:14:03,919 Finally, you lost some weight. 259 00:14:04,959 --> 00:14:08,279 But would it kill you to wear a little bit of rouge, huh? 260 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,040 Where were we? 261 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,760 You were advising me on how to accept your death. 262 00:14:18,599 --> 00:14:20,680 Who says I'm dying? 263 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,760 No one listens to me. 264 00:14:22,879 --> 00:14:25,160 The story of my life. 265 00:14:25,279 --> 00:14:29,199 Why do people say that, the story of my life? 266 00:14:29,319 --> 00:14:31,400 Because everyone's got one. 267 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,959 And I'd kill to hear yours. 268 00:14:35,919 --> 00:14:40,239 'For Alice, the voyage of discovery is not in seeking new lands, 269 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:44,000 but seeing old lands with new eyes.' 270 00:14:45,279 --> 00:14:47,239 Dump that last line. 271 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,160 You're not bloody 'Prowst.' 272 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,080 Proust. 273 00:14:51,199 --> 00:14:55,239 You don't like it? Kudos for the turnover time. She's barely cold. 274 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:59,080 But, Clancy, your words screech when they should sing. 275 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,279 Do better. Or don't do it. 276 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,839 Do better? Fine. 277 00:15:10,959 --> 00:15:12,639 How about a dead man walking. 278 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,199 Or well... climbing. 279 00:15:15,319 --> 00:15:17,480 It's a really dangerous job, right? Says who? 280 00:15:17,599 --> 00:15:19,919 The National Statistics Office. 281 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,919 They claim that fatality rates for roofers are... 282 00:15:23,919 --> 00:15:25,760 .. through the roof. 283 00:15:25,879 --> 00:15:29,559 Nothing can kill me. Not no roof nor no... statistics! 284 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:33,040 Sorry, Bob. But the stats beg to differ. 285 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,519 'Always reaching for the heights, 286 00:15:35,639 --> 00:15:39,360 as Bob mounts his ladder, one last time. 287 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,800 Think of him as gone, yet not defeated.' 288 00:15:43,839 --> 00:15:46,800 Lose that last line. You're not bloody Hemingway. 289 00:15:48,319 --> 00:15:50,519 Look, there is some improvement. 290 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,360 I only spotted two typos. 291 00:15:58,199 --> 00:16:00,599 V/O: The people of this town think my next advance 292 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,959 is Kilraven's nicest man. 293 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,839 'Dad STRONGLY disagrees.' 294 00:16:05,959 --> 00:16:08,839 'Still, the guy is riddled with cancer. Stage Four.' 295 00:16:08,959 --> 00:16:11,040 'And because there's no Stage Five, 296 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,199 it's just a matter of waiting.' 297 00:16:15,839 --> 00:16:19,720 'And waiting... .. and waiting!' 298 00:16:20,599 --> 00:16:22,440 'And waiting.' 299 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,000 'And waiting!' 300 00:16:25,839 --> 00:16:28,400 'And waiting, and...' 301 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,919 Beautiful day, isn't it? 302 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,800 'It's the weirdest thing. This dying man is refusing to die.' 303 00:16:42,599 --> 00:16:44,319 Beautiful day, isn't it? 304 00:16:46,519 --> 00:16:49,800 'His body screams cancer.' 305 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,800 Beautiful day, isn't it? 306 00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:57,279 'Yet four weeks since my last obit, 307 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,919 Sandy walks this earth.' 308 00:17:00,559 --> 00:17:02,720 It's a beautiful day, isn't it? 309 00:17:02,839 --> 00:17:06,519 'My bank balance is a bust, and my work remains unread.' 310 00:17:06,639 --> 00:17:09,519 (tapping) 311 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,959 Beautiful day, isn't it? 312 00:17:13,919 --> 00:17:16,760 'My words, trapped on my hard drive.' 313 00:17:16,879 --> 00:17:18,919 'Sandy's tumours, fighting for their lives.' 314 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,800 'A kango hammer, chipping away at my brain.' 315 00:17:22,919 --> 00:17:24,800 'What the hell do I do?' 316 00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:33,879 What the hell are you doing?! Beautiful day, isn't it? 317 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,760 Are you serious? 318 00:17:35,879 --> 00:17:38,760 No one in their right mind could think today is a beautiful day. 319 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,719 Are you saying there's something wrong with my mind? Finally. 320 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,919 Something out of your mouth that makes sense. 321 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:47,360 You can't talk to me like that. I'm sick. 322 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,639 Oh, join the fucking club. 323 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,760 Go get them. Make me. 324 00:17:55,879 --> 00:17:57,800 Fine. (he struggles) 325 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,599 Aghhh... ah! 326 00:18:03,279 --> 00:18:05,040 (effort grunts) 327 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,000 We're going to the Guards. Why? I... I saved you. 328 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,800 Jesus. Saved me! 329 00:18:11,919 --> 00:18:14,160 You're more stupid than I thought! 330 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,519 You didn't know. Know what? 331 00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:21,639 The town laughs at ye. The sewer rat unfit to be a father. 332 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,559 The freak waiting for people to die. 333 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:28,919 Now your mother? Mmm... A tasty bit a pipe. 334 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,199 Pity she died and you didn't. 335 00:18:33,599 --> 00:18:35,639 You were right. So you admit it? 336 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,480 You did push me. No. 337 00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:42,239 It is a beautiful day. 338 00:18:43,319 --> 00:18:45,160 (effort grunt) 339 00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:47,040 (scream) 340 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,239 ♪♪ 341 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,120 V/O: I'd be lying if I said 342 00:19:08,239 --> 00:19:10,639 I didn't fantasize about doing this someday.' 343 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,160 'I just never knew how I'd feel.' 344 00:19:13,279 --> 00:19:15,559 Mrs Benson, thanks for seeing me. 345 00:19:16,319 --> 00:19:18,000 I know this is weird, 346 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:21,800 with me being the one who saw your husband... slip. 347 00:19:21,919 --> 00:19:24,760 But.. Look, I won't take up much of your time. 348 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,559 The thing is... Yeah. 349 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,959 Your words are how Sandy will be remembered. 350 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,800 The more you know... The more I can, 351 00:19:33,919 --> 00:19:37,000 pardon the pun, bring him to life. 352 00:19:38,639 --> 00:19:40,279 Okay. 353 00:19:40,919 --> 00:19:42,639 But we're getting drunk. 354 00:19:48,199 --> 00:19:52,199 So... (chuckles) I'm under this big sycamore. 355 00:19:52,319 --> 00:19:54,040 First time making love. 356 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,959 But there's this farmer, sneaking a sly look at us, 357 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,160 his Friesians behind him. 358 00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:04,040 I slip my bits back in... Which are still fabulous! 359 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,480 But my husband, still at half-mast, 360 00:20:06,599 --> 00:20:09,040 offers to put on a second showing. 361 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,080 (awkward laugh) 362 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,680 Sandy could be crude that way. 363 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,800 I'll see if I can get that in. 364 00:20:18,559 --> 00:20:20,480 (sighs deeply) 365 00:20:20,599 --> 00:20:22,919 Then... that's that. 366 00:20:25,199 --> 00:20:26,800 Really? 367 00:20:26,919 --> 00:20:29,800 'Cos I feel like we're still missing something. 368 00:20:31,919 --> 00:20:34,720 Look, let's go off record. 369 00:20:35,279 --> 00:20:36,879 Eh? 370 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,839 Okay. 371 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,120 Sandy was... 372 00:20:46,239 --> 00:20:48,279 .. in remission! 373 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,080 (laughing) 374 00:20:50,199 --> 00:20:53,440 The last five years! Sandy wasn't sick. 375 00:20:53,559 --> 00:20:55,879 He just loved the attention! 376 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,120 But he had a blog. 377 00:20:58,239 --> 00:21:01,239 About his ups and downs - the town read it. 378 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,800 Lies. 379 00:21:03,639 --> 00:21:06,800 Sandy could have lived 30 more years but for that fall. 380 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,720 (laughs, and coughs) 381 00:21:10,919 --> 00:21:13,599 Oh pet, you're crying. Sorry. 382 00:21:14,519 --> 00:21:16,360 It's a shock. 383 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:22,000 I thought Sandy had months left, not years. 384 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,599 V/O: Years I took from him. 385 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,839 I thought I'd killed a dying man, 386 00:21:26,959 --> 00:21:30,120 when really, I'd killed a man who deserved to die. 387 00:21:30,239 --> 00:21:33,480 That's okay, love. 'I've never felt such happiness.' 388 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,440 'And everyone wants to be happy.' 389 00:21:37,559 --> 00:21:39,720 'Right?' 390 00:21:40,919 --> 00:21:44,760 'Sadly, we can do nothing for Sandy, but cherish his memory. 391 00:21:44,879 --> 00:21:47,040 As surely his wife, Margo will, 392 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,760 who one day hopes to meet him under that sycamore in the sky, 393 00:21:51,879 --> 00:21:56,440 where they will frolic like teens while the Friesians watch.' 394 00:21:57,639 --> 00:21:59,760 No, no, no, this is good. I know it is! 395 00:21:59,879 --> 00:22:03,400 I can't publish it. You can your typos can go fuck... Margo! 396 00:22:03,519 --> 00:22:06,480 Sandy's wife doesn't want him declared dead. 397 00:22:06,599 --> 00:22:09,440 But... he is dead. 398 00:22:09,559 --> 00:22:12,440 His body was never recovered. She's going to wait out the 7 years. 399 00:22:12,559 --> 00:22:14,559 So no one reads my work? 400 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,559 And no pay? 401 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,680 (deep sigh) I'm sorry, Clancy. 402 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,800 It kills me as much as it does you. 403 00:22:25,279 --> 00:22:27,120 V/O: No matter. 404 00:22:27,239 --> 00:22:29,239 'I like what I wrote.' 405 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:31,599 'I've found my voice now.' 406 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,440 'A voice with murder as a muse.' 407 00:22:36,519 --> 00:22:38,879 'Of course, I should stop.' 408 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,919 'But now is not a good time for me.' 409 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,680 I'll see you later? 410 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,599 'Your first kill is like your first orgasm.' 411 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,400 'You feel guilty.' 412 00:22:52,519 --> 00:22:54,519 Is Patsy's chest still at him? 413 00:22:54,639 --> 00:22:56,639 'You're not sure how it happened.' 414 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:58,839 Belt. 415 00:22:58,959 --> 00:23:00,599 'But you're damn sure you want another.' 416 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,599 'At least, that's what Mal says.' 417 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,760 (horn beeps) 418 00:23:05,879 --> 00:23:08,440 Hey, where d'ya get your licence? A fuckin' raffle? 419 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:12,319 Who was that? Sylvester McHugh. 420 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,800 Big builder back in London. Contracted all his work out. 421 00:23:15,919 --> 00:23:19,639 Cut so many corners that three boys died on the job. 422 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,279 And Kilraven welcomed that asshole back with open arms. 423 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,120 'As I said, sometimes my Dad inspires me.' 424 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,080 I tell you something, 425 00:23:29,199 --> 00:23:32,760 someone should clip his wings, before anybody else gets hurt. 426 00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:36,879 'Still, it's all well and good, but I've got to be smart.' 427 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,080 'That means never getting caught.' 428 00:23:39,199 --> 00:23:41,319 'Which means picking the right one, which means... 429 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,680 .. picking someone who deserves it.' 430 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,959 'So, does Sylvester deserve it?' 431 00:23:54,839 --> 00:23:56,680 Oh, Mal. 432 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,040 You're my best friend, but you've lousy taste in men. 433 00:24:02,519 --> 00:24:04,279 (engine revving) 434 00:24:08,839 --> 00:24:10,879 You know, we're in the same boat. 435 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,919 We both don't want some rando 436 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,040 who's spent his whole life in Kilraven, but... 437 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:19,360 .. trust me, Mal, someone... Better will come along? 438 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,480 Elvira! Christ, you've been spouting that same shite 439 00:24:22,599 --> 00:24:24,720 for the last five years. 440 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,599 Look... (she sighs) What? 441 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,480 Last Christmas, I overheard the Scriney sisters. 442 00:24:33,599 --> 00:24:36,480 Those piss-bags said that girls like us, 443 00:24:36,599 --> 00:24:39,120 who never left Kilraven were different from girls 444 00:24:39,239 --> 00:24:41,160 who went to college. I went to college. 445 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,440 Okay, online. But so did you. 446 00:24:46,559 --> 00:24:49,879 Ah, look - a month blowing my grant on MDMA is not college. 447 00:24:51,919 --> 00:24:55,080 Anyways, they said we were robbed of our dreams. 448 00:24:55,199 --> 00:24:57,239 That our small-minded brains never grew 449 00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:59,800 because we never went anywhere. 450 00:24:59,919 --> 00:25:03,480 Then I meet Sylvester. And he's seen the world. 451 00:25:03,599 --> 00:25:07,279 Well, London. So I says, I'll have that for a bit. 452 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,639 And why not, like? The man's a... 453 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,519 .. go-getter. 454 00:25:12,639 --> 00:25:14,480 V/O: You may think we have nothing in common. 455 00:25:14,599 --> 00:25:16,559 'This crazy mess and me.' 456 00:25:17,279 --> 00:25:19,839 'But you could not be more wrong.' 457 00:25:19,959 --> 00:25:24,720 'Both mothers dead.' 'Mine in a pool of her own blood, 458 00:25:24,839 --> 00:25:27,919 hers on a hen party in Liverpool.' 459 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:31,400 Deadly place, isn't it? 460 00:25:34,279 --> 00:25:36,559 What's the sex like? (Mal chortles) 461 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,519 You never ask me about my sex life. 462 00:25:38,639 --> 00:25:40,559 Well, you never ask me about mine. 463 00:25:44,919 --> 00:25:47,879 He says I blow the wife out of the water. (She laughs) 464 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,400 Oh, get this. The last night he was on top of me, 465 00:25:50,519 --> 00:25:52,959 he starts twitching like crazy. 466 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,519 Isn't that a good thing? 467 00:25:55,639 --> 00:25:57,480 He was having an epileptic fit. 468 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,519 Forgot to take his pills. 469 00:26:00,639 --> 00:26:03,639 Who says I can't make men drool, eh? 470 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,879 You know, Mal. Guys like him... 471 00:26:07,959 --> 00:26:10,440 Push them and they're dangerous. So he's got a temper! 472 00:26:10,559 --> 00:26:13,080 He's up the walls with work, but I can handle mys... 473 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,720 Fuck it! 474 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,120 Here, have mine. 475 00:26:22,319 --> 00:26:27,120 It's just a 99, Mal. Nothing's ever just a 99, Elvira. 476 00:26:28,839 --> 00:26:32,440 You know, sometimes, I just feel like... 477 00:26:32,559 --> 00:26:34,519 A laughing stock? 478 00:26:35,959 --> 00:26:37,599 Lost. 479 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,199 People tell me to skip town. I say, why? 480 00:26:43,199 --> 00:26:44,879 I'm from here. 481 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,279 What I want is something to happen here! Like what? 482 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,160 I dunno. 483 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,279 I just want it to happen. 484 00:26:53,239 --> 00:26:55,279 I'll wait for it if I have to. 485 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,639 V/O: I'm done waiting. Sylvester's purpose in life 486 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,000 seems to be to hurt everyone around him. 487 00:27:00,599 --> 00:27:03,440 'Therefore, if my purpose in life is to kill, 488 00:27:03,559 --> 00:27:05,839 I think I'll make some rules.' 489 00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:10,199 'And one must be, no one I love ever gets hurt.' 490 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,879 (pulsating music) 491 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,919 (muffled chatter) 492 00:27:22,319 --> 00:27:24,440 'This is a small town.' 493 00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:27,199 'That means there can never be a whiff of murder.' 494 00:27:27,319 --> 00:27:29,879 'Everything must be a mishap or a suicide.' 495 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:34,160 'An act of God, or a sex act gone wrong.' 496 00:27:34,279 --> 00:27:35,879 (clanging) 497 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,440 (rustling) 498 00:27:57,959 --> 00:28:00,120 ♪ 499 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,160 'A while back, a journalist opened an image sent to him on Twitter.' 500 00:28:09,279 --> 00:28:11,279 'It was strobe lighting.' 501 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,839 'The guy, a known epileptic, 502 00:28:13,959 --> 00:28:17,080 came within seconds of dying, when he suffered a seizure.' 503 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,839 'Still, it could have been worse.' 504 00:28:20,959 --> 00:28:23,319 'He could have been trapped in the boot of a car.' 505 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,319 (flicking) 506 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:32,760 (loud clanging) 507 00:28:35,199 --> 00:28:37,400 (car engine humming) 508 00:28:39,879 --> 00:28:41,440 ♪ 509 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,400 (music builds) 510 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,239 'Crucial to this whole thing, is research.' 511 00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,319 (barking) 512 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,360 'In this case, the dark web and a can of Ketamine.' 513 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,400 'Several good blasts, they're toast.' 514 00:29:05,519 --> 00:29:07,959 'But a couple of spritzes... 515 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,400 ..it's sleepy time.' 516 00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,040 ♪ 517 00:29:21,919 --> 00:29:23,919 (music pings) 518 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,879 (pills rattling) 519 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:30,120 'Sylvester's going to spend the next few days 520 00:29:30,239 --> 00:29:34,160 swallowing a little something from my own medicine cabinet.' 521 00:29:35,199 --> 00:29:36,919 ♪ 522 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,480 'Also essential is intel.' 523 00:29:46,599 --> 00:29:48,599 'And because she tells me everything, 524 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,879 I always know when and where Sylvester and Mallory will meet.' 525 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,800 I told you he'd remember! 526 00:29:58,919 --> 00:30:00,839 Aren't they gorgeous? 527 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,400 (tapping) 528 00:30:15,559 --> 00:30:17,319 How do you do that? 529 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,400 Eh... do what? Well, hello! 530 00:30:21,519 --> 00:30:24,879 Get people to open up to you like that. When they're at their lowest. 531 00:30:25,599 --> 00:30:29,000 The people I deal with are consumed with death. 532 00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,760 Add sedatives and stodgy funeral food, they soon realise 533 00:30:31,879 --> 00:30:34,559 their deep dark secrets aren't worth taking to the grave. 534 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,800 Emerson Stafford. Elvira... Clancy. 535 00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:41,319 I know. Tell me, what are you working on now? 536 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,639 It's a... surprise. 537 00:30:44,559 --> 00:30:47,400 Oh... does it not get depressing? 538 00:30:47,519 --> 00:30:48,959 Obituaries? 539 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:52,639 I spend two lines out of a hundred on how someone died. 540 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,319 The rest is a celebration of their life. 541 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:58,160 Yeah, but you make your living from death. 542 00:30:58,279 --> 00:31:01,199 As do cigarette companies... And crime correspondents. 543 00:31:01,319 --> 00:31:03,279 I'm taking over from Clive, so... 544 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,919 looks like we're working together. 545 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,279 Now I know, staff will bitch about the new hire. 546 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,519 But don't worry. But I'm paid per piece. 547 00:31:09,639 --> 00:31:11,800 Still, they'll get mighty snotty when they see 548 00:31:11,919 --> 00:31:14,239 every second article is mine, right? 549 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,800 Hey, uh... you up to anything later? 550 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:21,040 Only I thought I'd grab a drink at the Mariner. 551 00:31:23,639 --> 00:31:26,919 How's nine sound? It sounds a lot better than 'no'. 552 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,239 I'll see you later. 553 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,639 V/O: Tonight was to be Sylvester's last night on earth. 554 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,599 'Looks like we both got lucky.' 555 00:31:38,239 --> 00:31:39,800 (chatter) 556 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,040 Sorry I'm late. Don't worry about it. 557 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:49,959 What are you doing here? 558 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,519 Well 'hello' to you too. What are you having, Elvira? 559 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,400 Whatever Mallory's having. 560 00:31:55,519 --> 00:31:57,519 'Since she's having what I'm having.' 561 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,040 What can I get you? Whiskey and ice... 562 00:32:04,199 --> 00:32:05,879 (excited squeal) 563 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,040 What's that for? You said someone better would come along, 564 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,760 and bam! I bump into him. 565 00:32:11,879 --> 00:32:14,400 What? He could be married. 566 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,680 Or gay? 567 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,959 You don't like him, do you? 568 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,959 Good. 569 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,680 Eh, hey Emerson. 570 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:28,160 Elvira reckons you're gay... which... I'm down with. 571 00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:31,040 No, I don't. I'm sorry to disappoint you. (Mal sighs) 572 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,480 Well, with that put to bed, tell us. 573 00:32:33,599 --> 00:32:36,839 How do you end up working at our little rag, 574 00:32:36,959 --> 00:32:39,879 for that wanker, Hughie? I like Hughie. 575 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,319 At least you know where you stand with him. 576 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,416 You like Hughie because he lets you away with murder. 577 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,400 Oh, does he? Let you away with murder? 578 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,760 So Emerson, why journalism? 579 00:32:50,879 --> 00:32:52,720 (bored sigh) And why here? 580 00:32:52,839 --> 00:32:55,879 Ahh, you guys will laugh at me. No, we won't. 581 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,760 It was my cousin's funeral. I was 9. 582 00:32:58,879 --> 00:33:01,800 He was 6, poor kid drowned. Pool, river or sea? 583 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,040 Sea. 584 00:33:04,639 --> 00:33:06,919 But he had this twin. Now on the day of the funeral, 585 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,559 his parents for some reason - do not ask me why - 586 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,000 but they decided to dress them both in matching outfits. 587 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,639 So you can imagine, I'm standing there, I'm 9 years old. 588 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,959 I'm looking into this coffin with this kid lying there, my cousin. 589 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,376 And then they close the lid, and stick the lad in the ground. 590 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,639 'There are sixteen words for 'love' in Latin, 591 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,440 yet none to describe how turned on I am.' 592 00:33:25,559 --> 00:33:27,760 But there's this other lad, standing right there. 593 00:33:27,879 --> 00:33:30,400 Identical to the one just buried. 594 00:33:30,519 --> 00:33:33,080 I thought I was looking at a ghost. It changes you. 595 00:33:34,279 --> 00:33:37,360 And I went home and told my friends what had happened. 596 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,680 And they had the worst nightmares, they'd ever had in their lives. 597 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,599 That's when I knew, 598 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,599 my job is to bring the world's weirdest stories to the people. 599 00:33:46,559 --> 00:33:49,160 And what better place than Kilraven. 600 00:33:49,279 --> 00:33:51,639 We don't even have a Penneys. 601 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,639 But we have people like Mal, who has committed armed robbery. 602 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,519 'Armed' is a stretch. You had a golf club. 603 00:33:57,639 --> 00:33:59,800 A putter. Still took two grand out of that shop. 604 00:33:59,919 --> 00:34:02,279 Well, it would have been a grand more if it were a Penneys. 605 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,199 Did you get time? Suspended. 606 00:34:04,319 --> 00:34:07,239 Eighteen months if I darken the door of a court again. 607 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,959 Well, I should write a story about you. 608 00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,040 (Mal giggles) 609 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,080 'Reformed con makes good'. 610 00:34:14,199 --> 00:34:17,680 Maybe I should write a story on you. 'Reformed con dies'. 611 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,879 Eh... 612 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,120 My phone is broken, can I... Yeah, yeah. Use mine. 613 00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:36,040 (ping) 614 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,199 (message tinkle) 615 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:40,959 (door creaking) 616 00:34:42,959 --> 00:34:45,959 You followed me in here? This is the mens. 617 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,519 Oh... yeah. 618 00:34:48,639 --> 00:34:50,440 I wondered what that smell was. 619 00:34:50,559 --> 00:34:53,199 'Whatever he does, he's giving me that feeling again.' 620 00:34:53,319 --> 00:34:54,839 (message tinkles) 621 00:34:55,519 --> 00:34:57,959 'And then there's that other feeling.' 622 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:03,080 I've to go. Ah, stay. Mallory and I would love it. 623 00:35:03,199 --> 00:35:05,680 'Two shandies and they're 'Mallory and I' already?' 624 00:35:06,639 --> 00:35:08,120 Dad's ill. 625 00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:10,080 Give Mal her phone. 626 00:35:14,319 --> 00:35:15,959 (flickering) 627 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:20,839 ♪ 628 00:35:24,599 --> 00:35:26,160 (slamming) 629 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,639 (engine humming) 630 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,720 (foreboding music) 631 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,040 (faint sound of Garda radio) 632 00:35:47,559 --> 00:35:49,239 (gravel crunching) 633 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,120 (rapping) 634 00:35:58,519 --> 00:36:01,919 Ehm... (window opening) 635 00:36:04,599 --> 00:36:06,680 Everything alright? 636 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:11,839 Good. Now... Why are you parked here? 637 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,800 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 638 00:36:15,919 --> 00:36:18,400 Just getting my driver's license. 639 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:27,000 I-I come here sometimes to... 640 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,919 .. clear my head. 641 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,680 Funny that. Because usually when people come here, 642 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,400 they come here to do drugs. Do you do drugs? 643 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,879 Have you been drinking? Just the one, Guard. Really? 644 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,400 Because you seem very nervous. 645 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,639 Are you nervous? 646 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,639 Then you won't mind me checking your vehicle. Yeah? 647 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,519 Be my guest. 648 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,199 Anything in your boot? 649 00:36:54,319 --> 00:36:56,416 V/O: Just an eight-inch hunting knife and enough strobe lighting 650 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,400 to kill a man.' 651 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:03,319 Still... .. you better pop it for me. 652 00:37:04,959 --> 00:37:06,959 The thing's broken. 653 00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,519 (keys jangling) 654 00:37:08,639 --> 00:37:10,559 You'll have to do it yourself. 655 00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:18,480 (foreboding music) 656 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,919 Hey... (Garda radio sounds) 657 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,480 What's with the can? 658 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:32,120 The thing is always acting up. It's just... 659 00:37:33,559 --> 00:37:37,040 Rose... A call came in. A domestic. 660 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,120 Gimme a second. 661 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:43,199 Alice worked nights at Fruit of the Loom. 662 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,400 Having spent a whole day weaving baskets, 663 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,879 she'd still be home in time to make her daughter's breakfast. 664 00:37:52,199 --> 00:37:55,760 A glamorous woman, her speciality was... 665 00:37:56,919 --> 00:37:59,160 Fancy baskets. 666 00:37:59,279 --> 00:38:02,199 Made from ash strips woven in patterns. 667 00:38:02,319 --> 00:38:05,879 Topped with carved flowers as... Her mother's had been. 668 00:38:06,639 --> 00:38:10,959 And as she hoped her daughter, Rose's would someday be too. 669 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,519 You wrote that? My mam's obituary? 670 00:38:17,599 --> 00:38:20,080 We spoke before she passed. 671 00:38:20,199 --> 00:38:22,639 She said you meant the world to her. 672 00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,519 She had a weird way of showing it. 673 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,440 Left an awful lot unsaid. 674 00:38:30,279 --> 00:38:33,239 Must have made accepting her death difficult. 675 00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:34,559 Ah... 676 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,080 She was always telling you to lose weight, find a man. 677 00:38:38,199 --> 00:38:40,319 Wear make-up, join a gym. 678 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,279 You've made your point! My point is... 679 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,959 She thought you were beautiful. 680 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,400 She wished she'd said it more. 681 00:38:50,319 --> 00:38:52,239 She said that? 682 00:38:53,559 --> 00:38:55,440 Those very words? 683 00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,919 I never met my Mam. 684 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,879 I'd die happy hearing what she thought of me. 685 00:39:07,959 --> 00:39:09,480 (siren wailing) 686 00:39:12,319 --> 00:39:14,120 (keys jangling) 687 00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:18,040 Safe home. 688 00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,080 Oh, and Miss Clancy... 689 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,160 When my time comes, 690 00:39:27,959 --> 00:39:30,360 I'd like you to write my obituary. 691 00:39:31,599 --> 00:39:33,199 Done. 692 00:39:33,319 --> 00:39:35,080 V/O: 'As am I.' 693 00:39:36,720 --> 00:39:38,760 'I'm not cut out for this.' 694 00:39:39,279 --> 00:39:41,599 'That close to getting caught.' 695 00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:44,239 'No way. No!' 696 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,680 'It ends now.' 697 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:48,879 ♪♪ 698 00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:01,559 (locks clicking) 699 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:07,120 So this is where they found Maria Riedle's body? 700 00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:08,879 (deep inhale) 701 00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,279 (coughing) 702 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,400 You okay? 703 00:40:15,519 --> 00:40:17,639 Heard it's in both lungs now. 704 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,959 The rest of my files this week. 705 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,879 (gulping) 706 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,680 First Guard on the scene? 707 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:29,919 If you want to get the DPP file off her, you'll need leverage. 708 00:40:31,959 --> 00:40:34,199 The 'Mallory' I mentioned. 709 00:40:34,319 --> 00:40:36,559 Last person to see Maria alive. 710 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,400 Five years have passed. 711 00:40:39,519 --> 00:40:42,279 But I bet she still remembers every tiny detail. 712 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,360 Oh, I'm way ahead of ya there. 713 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:46,839 I didn't drag you to this town to get your hole. No. 714 00:40:46,959 --> 00:40:49,279 You dragged me here so I could finish what you couldn't. 715 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,080 Emerson, this is my life's work. 716 00:40:53,199 --> 00:40:55,279 Mmm. Jesus! 717 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,040 You still don't get it. She's German! 718 00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,279 The story's international. 719 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,639 If your work leads to the arrest of Maria Riedle's killer, 720 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:05,919 we're talking books, films. 721 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,599 In German? In every language! 722 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,639 Netflix? 723 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:15,279 I was thinking more Sky, but we'll ask them too. 724 00:41:16,279 --> 00:41:18,519 That grabbed your attention. 725 00:41:18,639 --> 00:41:20,839 Now... our deal. 726 00:41:21,839 --> 00:41:23,839 A change of plan. 727 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,199 Upon the arrest of the killer, 728 00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:31,080 you don't get half of my life savings. You get the lot. 729 00:41:31,199 --> 00:41:32,839 (curious) Yeah. 730 00:41:32,959 --> 00:41:34,879 What's the catch? Not a penny 731 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,199 if you don't finish up before I die. 732 00:41:37,319 --> 00:41:40,199 And when do you think that might that be? 733 00:41:40,319 --> 00:41:42,160 (cackling and coughing) 734 00:41:44,559 --> 00:41:46,800 I'm working on it. 735 00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,400 And you're sure this scumbag... And I'm not saying it's him. 736 00:41:50,519 --> 00:41:53,839 Are you sure her husband did it? No doubt. 737 00:41:53,959 --> 00:41:55,919 Now go and prove it. 738 00:41:58,319 --> 00:42:00,040 Cheers. Go on! 739 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,559 (chilling music) 740 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,720 (banging) Elvira! 741 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:13,440 (banging) 742 00:42:13,559 --> 00:42:15,319 Uhhh! 743 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,720 (he sighs) Are the rats at ya? 744 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,360 I didn't always drink, you know? Oh yeah? 745 00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,959 Just these last few years. Yeah, well... 746 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,040 Maybe one day I'll tell you why. 747 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,360 But for the moment, I enjoy it. Alright? 748 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,400 And I could stop any time I want. But truthfully, 749 00:42:32,519 --> 00:42:35,080 I don't like me without it, anyway. Yeah, well.. 750 00:42:35,199 --> 00:42:37,639 People change, Dad. Yeah pigs might fly... 751 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,599 (tyres screeching) Jesus Christ! 752 00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:44,440 Go on, jog on redneck! Ya prize bollocks! 753 00:42:44,559 --> 00:42:46,855 Do you know he's suing his own brother over his father's will? 754 00:42:46,879 --> 00:42:48,919 And the poor fella's not the full shilling. 755 00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,239 And then he steps out in front of ya? 756 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,360 He's an accident waiting to happen, that one. 757 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,800 V/O: No. When I say, I'm done. I'm done. 758 00:42:58,279 --> 00:43:01,160 Hughie, you promised to review my salary. Now is the time. 759 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,040 You read The Lancet, Clancy? 760 00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,720 They claim that flu season is late this year, 761 00:43:09,839 --> 00:43:12,199 but it's going to hit big. 762 00:43:12,319 --> 00:43:14,839 Soon. That's a boon for your beat. 763 00:43:14,959 --> 00:43:16,879 So no review. 764 00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,680 I'm paying you for Sandy Benson. 765 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,680 I can't publish it, but quality work deserves recognition. 766 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:28,879 There's enough here for two obits. 767 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,120 You ever heard of Sylvester McHugh? 768 00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,360 'Fraid not. 769 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,440 A controversial figure. 770 00:43:38,559 --> 00:43:40,999 They found him slumped over the wheel of his car this morning. 771 00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:42,760 V/O: His meds. 772 00:43:42,879 --> 00:43:45,400 His wife says he suffered from epilepsy. 773 00:43:45,519 --> 00:43:49,319 That's the official line. 'I forgot to change them back.' 774 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,120 Look, with Sandy's obit... 775 00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:54,639 'I did that. That was me.' 776 00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:58,559 It finally felt like you got the person you were writing about. 777 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,319 (gleeful) Too right, I did! 778 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,279 And also, it inspired me. 779 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,360 To see you not have it, search for it, and find it, 780 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,319 it made me want to get back into 'real' journalism again. 781 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,080 Big and small. 782 00:44:13,199 --> 00:44:15,800 This town is full of stories. 783 00:44:16,559 --> 00:44:18,599 I'm going to find them. 784 00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:21,879 So I stay on 200 an obit? Desperation drives you. 785 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,959 Let's see where it takes us. 786 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,279 Do you know what you're doing? 787 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:28,839 I'm making a good journalist. 788 00:44:28,959 --> 00:44:31,639 V/O: No, you're taking a flamethrower to this town. 789 00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:33,839 You just keep doing exactly as you've been doing 790 00:44:33,959 --> 00:44:35,720 these last few weeks. 791 00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,839 And if work turns slow again? 792 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,040 You'll think of something. 793 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:46,839 ♪ 794 00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,720 Hey babe! Hiya. Will we bounce? Wow. 795 00:44:53,839 --> 00:44:55,800 (kissing) 796 00:45:01,839 --> 00:45:04,559 Hey! Watch it. I'm sorry. 797 00:45:05,199 --> 00:45:07,319 V/O: They say if you want to write, 798 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:11,519 you have to sit down, open a vein, and bleed on the page.' 799 00:45:11,639 --> 00:45:15,040 'Thing is, whose vein are they talking about?' 800 00:45:16,839 --> 00:45:19,440 'And whose blood do they mean?' 801 00:45:21,519 --> 00:45:24,040 'No matter. Hughie's right.' 802 00:45:24,839 --> 00:45:27,239 'These things won't write themselves.' 803 00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:30,760 ♪ 58259

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.