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1
00:00:02,095 --> 00:00:04,783
Jimmy, I think I finally found a way
2
00:00:04,903 --> 00:00:07,671
to get our little flower girl
all the way down the aisle.
3
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:10,554
JIMMY:
Oh, nice.
4
00:00:10,588 --> 00:00:13,356
Huh?
Good job.
5
00:00:14,392 --> 00:00:16,960
Hey, what's with all the cameras?
6
00:00:17,696 --> 00:00:19,796
BURT:
I knew it! I knew it!
7
00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:23,600
All these years, we've been on
a hidden camera reality show.
8
00:00:23,634 --> 00:00:25,468
Just like that Jim Carrey movie.
9
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:26,937
That's the only way to explain
10
00:00:26,971 --> 00:00:28,305
all the crazy things that happen.
11
00:00:28,339 --> 00:00:29,506
Wait, wait, wait.
12
00:00:29,540 --> 00:00:31,141
If that means Jim Carrey's
just a character
13
00:00:31,175 --> 00:00:33,209
on our show, and none
of his movies are real,
14
00:00:33,244 --> 00:00:34,844
then I am going to be very upset.
15
00:00:34,879 --> 00:00:36,413
That's nowhere near what's happening.
16
00:00:36,447 --> 00:00:38,348
My mom says I'll
probably be getting married
17
00:00:38,382 --> 00:00:40,650
three or four times,
so she's not coming to this one.
18
00:00:40,685 --> 00:00:42,385
SABRINA: But she still wanted to see it,
19
00:00:42,420 --> 00:00:44,321
so she hired this film crew.
20
00:00:44,355 --> 00:00:46,022
And get this, her mom
knows a woman from yoga
21
00:00:46,057 --> 00:00:47,190
whose husband went to college
22
00:00:47,224 --> 00:00:48,558
with the roommate of a guy who
23
00:00:48,593 --> 00:00:51,061
put the snacks out on
Kevin Bacon's last movie.
24
00:00:51,095 --> 00:00:53,229
And Kevin Bacon was able
to get this film crew
25
00:00:53,264 --> 00:00:55,865
from my mom's favorite
TV show, Modern Family.
26
00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,335
We were planning
on videotaping the wedding
27
00:00:58,369 --> 00:00:59,970
as our gift to Jimmy and Sabrina.
28
00:01:00,004 --> 00:01:02,572
Now we only have a day
to figure out what to get 'em.
29
00:01:02,607 --> 00:01:03,773
Coffee mugs that say.
30
00:01:03,808 --> 00:01:05,942
"Mr. Right" and
"Mrs. Always Right."
31
00:01:05,977 --> 00:01:07,210
Tie that looks like a fish,
32
00:01:07,244 --> 00:01:08,979
or a fish that looks like a tie.
33
00:01:09,013 --> 00:01:10,780
Hermit crabs.
34
00:01:10,815 --> 00:01:13,183
Ice-- you always
need ice.
35
00:01:13,217 --> 00:01:15,518
Uh, people sure love those face pages.
36
00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:18,722
All good options,
but with such short notice,
37
00:01:18,756 --> 00:01:20,056
maybe we should just give them
38
00:01:20,091 --> 00:01:21,424
a nice framed picture of us.
39
00:01:21,459 --> 00:01:22,759
Hey, hey!
40
00:01:24,905 --> 00:01:35,611
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
41
00:01:37,108 --> 00:01:38,575
VIRGINIA:
So, we were thinking
42
00:01:38,609 --> 00:01:40,377
maybe our wedding gift to you
43
00:01:40,411 --> 00:01:41,878
would be to pick up your cake.
44
00:01:41,912 --> 00:01:44,547
You know, we don't need you
to pick up the cake for us.
45
00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:45,982
I mean, you guys already printed out
46
00:01:46,017 --> 00:01:47,050
those wedding invitations.
47
00:01:47,084 --> 00:01:48,118
And that was enough.
48
00:01:49,654 --> 00:01:52,155
They got the RSVP address wrong.
49
00:01:52,189 --> 00:01:55,592
Again, sorry for
the address mix-up.
50
00:01:55,626 --> 00:01:56,960
It is no problem.
51
00:01:56,994 --> 00:02:00,530
And I am sorry for your gifts.
I was not snooping.
52
00:02:00,564 --> 00:02:02,666
Every piece of mail that I've gotten
53
00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:05,135
in the past 12 years has been
opened by the government.
54
00:02:05,169 --> 00:02:07,303
How many American flags
must I hang in the store
55
00:02:07,338 --> 00:02:09,339
before you people leave me alone?
56
00:02:10,841 --> 00:02:12,909
Ah, I'm guessing
these plates are from Frank.
57
00:02:12,943 --> 00:02:14,778
Oh, and also,
58
00:02:14,812 --> 00:02:16,680
your Aunt Megan is coming,
59
00:02:16,714 --> 00:02:18,782
and she's requesting a vegetarian meal.
60
00:02:18,816 --> 00:02:24,087
Okay, Ranjan, I can clearly see
that you've crossed out "steak"
61
00:02:24,121 --> 00:02:25,722
and that you wrote "vegetarian."
62
00:02:25,756 --> 00:02:27,357
All right, you've got
to stop doing this.
63
00:02:27,391 --> 00:02:29,059
Maybe I'll eat your beloved eagle.
64
00:02:29,093 --> 00:02:30,660
How would you like that?
65
00:02:30,695 --> 00:02:33,630
Hello. My name
is James Chance.
66
00:02:33,664 --> 00:02:36,833
And this is my fianc?e, Sabrina...
67
00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:39,769
Cole... Colombo...
Colony...
68
00:02:39,804 --> 00:02:41,337
Collins!
69
00:02:41,372 --> 00:02:44,074
Yes, I'm sorry. Collins.
70
00:02:44,108 --> 00:02:45,742
She's changing her name
to Chance after tomorrow,
71
00:02:45,776 --> 00:02:47,477
so I never bothered
learning her maiden name.
72
00:02:47,511 --> 00:02:49,779
Anyway, we're here about
our marriage license.
73
00:02:49,814 --> 00:02:52,315
After Jimmy and Sabrina left
to get their wedding cake,
74
00:02:52,349 --> 00:02:54,784
the city clerk called
to tell us there was a problem
75
00:02:54,819 --> 00:02:55,952
with their marriage license.
76
00:02:55,986 --> 00:02:57,620
MAW MAW:
I told you she was a boy.
77
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,355
She's not a boy, Maw Maw.
78
00:02:59,390 --> 00:03:00,790
So, not only could we make up
79
00:03:00,825 --> 00:03:02,859
for our little
invitation snag-fu,
80
00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:05,395
we finally figured out
our wedding gift for them:
81
00:03:05,429 --> 00:03:07,430
Their marriage license!
Hermit crabs!
82
00:03:07,465 --> 00:03:09,199
Their marriage license.
83
00:03:09,233 --> 00:03:10,567
So, what's the problem?
84
00:03:10,601 --> 00:03:12,302
Did we fill something out wrong?
85
00:03:12,336 --> 00:03:13,837
No, your application was rejected
86
00:03:13,871 --> 00:03:15,538
because, according to our records,
87
00:03:15,573 --> 00:03:18,374
James here is still
married to a Lucy Carlyle.
88
00:03:18,409 --> 00:03:20,710
Oh, that.
No, she's dead.
89
00:03:20,745 --> 00:03:23,146
She got electrocuted and hit by a bus.
90
00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:25,482
It was very tragic.
91
00:03:25,516 --> 00:03:28,651
Not really tragic;
she was a serial killer.
92
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:29,919
Is there a word that combines
93
00:03:29,954 --> 00:03:31,354
tragic with happiness?
94
00:03:31,388 --> 00:03:32,555
Schadenfreude?
95
00:03:32,590 --> 00:03:33,857
Now you're just making up words.
96
00:03:33,891 --> 00:03:35,592
Anyway, so we're all set, right?
97
00:03:35,626 --> 00:03:37,427
We still need a copy
of the death certificate.
98
00:03:37,428 --> 00:03:38,995
You can request one
from the coroner's office,
99
00:03:39,029 --> 00:03:40,864
and they'll mail it to you
in three weeks.
100
00:03:40,898 --> 00:03:42,432
But our wedding's tomorrow.
101
00:03:42,466 --> 00:03:44,901
I don't know what to tell you.
102
00:03:44,935 --> 00:03:46,536
You could dig up her body
and bring it here.
103
00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:48,204
I'm kidding.
104
00:03:48,239 --> 00:03:49,672
Don't do that.
105
00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:52,709
The cake we ordered was, like,
106
00:03:52,743 --> 00:03:54,944
five-thirds the size of this.
107
00:03:54,979 --> 00:03:56,613
He's not great with fractions,
108
00:03:56,647 --> 00:03:59,682
but the point is, is that
this is just way too big.
109
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:02,352
Your father called
and changed the order.
110
00:04:02,386 --> 00:04:03,686
He left you a message.
111
00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:04,721
(sighs)
112
00:04:07,558 --> 00:04:09,159
"Hey, baby, since I can't leave rehab
113
00:04:09,193 --> 00:04:10,193
"to attend your wedding,
114
00:04:10,227 --> 00:04:12,362
"please accept this cake as my gift.
115
00:04:12,396 --> 00:04:15,732
I know how much you love
dolphins. Love, Daddy."
116
00:04:16,901 --> 00:04:19,235
My sister loves dolphins.
I hate them.
117
00:04:21,639 --> 00:04:23,273
The last thing I was going to do
118
00:04:23,307 --> 00:04:24,941
was point out that it was her father
119
00:04:24,975 --> 00:04:26,276
who had messed up this time,
120
00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:28,812
so I smiled
and suggested we just go back
121
00:04:28,846 --> 00:04:31,381
and get my dad's truck to move the cake.
122
00:04:31,415 --> 00:04:33,383
But Sabrina had another idea.
123
00:04:38,088 --> 00:04:39,722
We almost made it a block.
124
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:40,790
Now do you understand
125
00:04:40,825 --> 00:04:42,058
why you're not supposed to run
126
00:04:42,092 --> 00:04:43,332
into the street after your ball?
127
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,728
See, this is not my fault.
This is his fault.
128
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,697
Look, nobody's pointing any fingers.
(sighs)
129
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
130
00:04:54,071 --> 00:04:56,573
I know my daughter's death certificate
131
00:04:56,607 --> 00:04:58,741
is in here... somewhere.
132
00:04:58,776 --> 00:04:59,876
How's your wife?
133
00:04:59,910 --> 00:05:01,010
Other than that time
134
00:05:01,045 --> 00:05:02,679
you both kidnapped Hope, I was a fan.
135
00:05:02,713 --> 00:05:04,514
Oh, yeah, she's still in prison.
136
00:05:04,548 --> 00:05:05,982
I-I got out early
for good behavior,
137
00:05:06,016 --> 00:05:07,750
but Margine is doing an extra 12 years
138
00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,352
for shanking a guard.
139
00:05:09,386 --> 00:05:10,687
Sorry to hear that.
140
00:05:10,721 --> 00:05:12,121
DALE:
Yeah, but on the upside, uh,
141
00:05:12,156 --> 00:05:14,557
now we know that Lucy
didn't get all that violent,
142
00:05:14,592 --> 00:05:16,125
murdery stuff from my gene pool.
143
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,660
Look, Jimmy's wedding is tomorrow,
144
00:05:17,695 --> 00:05:19,775
so we really need you to find
that death certificate.
145
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:22,131
He and Sabrina can't
get married without it.
146
00:05:22,166 --> 00:05:23,087
And they're so in love,
147
00:05:23,177 --> 00:05:24,391
it would break their hearts.
148
00:05:24,511 --> 00:05:26,736
Probably his more than hers.
149
00:05:26,770 --> 00:05:28,605
You!
150
00:05:28,639 --> 00:05:30,039
(screaming)
151
00:05:30,074 --> 00:05:32,075
(electrical buzzing)
152
00:05:34,078 --> 00:05:36,346
Well, that's why I couldn't
find her death certificate.
153
00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:39,949
Because...
Lucy isn't dead.
154
00:05:47,299 --> 00:05:48,699
BURT: Are you telling me she survived
155
00:05:48,707 --> 00:05:51,375
getting electrocuted
and getting hit by a bus?
156
00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:52,944
Yeah, she's a little fighter.
157
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,512
Gets it from her grandfather.
158
00:05:54,546 --> 00:05:55,880
Nazi sympathizer.
159
00:05:55,914 --> 00:05:57,415
Shot eight times,
160
00:05:57,449 --> 00:05:59,684
still a scratch golfer
well into his 90s.
161
00:05:59,718 --> 00:06:01,485
That is a really sweet story,
162
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,120
but how the hell did she get here?
163
00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:05,289
Oh, she was barely alive
when the hospital called,
164
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:08,359
so I-I snuck her back
here to die in peace.
165
00:06:08,393 --> 00:06:09,961
And then she just
(grunts) pulled through.
166
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,529
She woke up in her childhood bedroom
167
00:06:11,563 --> 00:06:14,532
and thought she was
eight years old again.
168
00:06:14,566 --> 00:06:15,833
Taking a bus to the skull
169
00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:17,435
scrambles up the old noggin a bit.
170
00:06:17,469 --> 00:06:18,603
If she thinks she's eight,
171
00:06:18,637 --> 00:06:20,271
then why'd she just try to kill us?
172
00:06:20,305 --> 00:06:22,306
Well, seeing you guys
must have triggered something
173
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:24,275
in her brain, but as you witnessed,
174
00:06:24,309 --> 00:06:27,044
I superglued
a very powerful shock collar
175
00:06:27,079 --> 00:06:28,412
to her neck.
176
00:06:28,447 --> 00:06:30,615
I got it from a patient
of mine who's a masochist.
177
00:06:30,649 --> 00:06:32,149
I had to threaten not to kick his ass
178
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,284
in order to get it.
179
00:06:33,318 --> 00:06:34,952
This is crazy.
I'm calling the police.
180
00:06:34,987 --> 00:06:36,454
No, no, no, no. No, no.
181
00:06:36,488 --> 00:06:39,123
Look, if she goes back into the system,
182
00:06:39,157 --> 00:06:40,925
she'll just be out again
in a year or two, and...
183
00:06:40,959 --> 00:06:43,461
something out there will trigger her.
184
00:06:43,495 --> 00:06:45,429
Everyone is safer if she's here.
185
00:06:45,464 --> 00:06:46,764
With me.
186
00:06:46,798 --> 00:06:48,566
I know the rest of the world
187
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,568
just sees her as a serial killer,
188
00:06:50,602 --> 00:06:52,737
but to me, she's still that little girl
189
00:06:52,771 --> 00:06:56,907
who used to call a suitcase a...
a coo-sace.
190
00:06:56,942 --> 00:06:58,576
Jimmy still says "pasketti,"
191
00:06:58,610 --> 00:07:00,444
so I totally got where
Dale was coming from.
192
00:07:00,479 --> 00:07:01,579
It's crazy.
193
00:07:01,613 --> 00:07:02,947
I wanted to turn her in.
194
00:07:02,981 --> 00:07:05,182
But then she probably wouldn't
sign the divorce papers,
195
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,884
and the wedding would be delayed.
196
00:07:06,918 --> 00:07:08,619
So, we made a deal.
197
00:07:08,654 --> 00:07:11,022
I picked up a few skills in prison:
198
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,790
fighting off rapists
with sharp toe nails,
199
00:07:12,824 --> 00:07:14,659
making an excellent toilet merlot.
200
00:07:14,693 --> 00:07:17,595
Spent a lot of time in the computer lab
201
00:07:17,629 --> 00:07:20,398
where I got very good at graphic design.
202
00:07:20,432 --> 00:07:23,668
So I forged a death certificate, yeah.
203
00:07:23,702 --> 00:07:25,703
Best wedding gift ever.
204
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,239
And, it came with a free bottle of wine.
205
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:29,940
Now we'll go get the wedding license,
206
00:07:29,975 --> 00:07:31,275
and they can wake up tomorrow
207
00:07:31,309 --> 00:07:33,411
and just enjoy their wedding day.
208
00:07:33,445 --> 00:07:36,380
I went online to see how
you guys should wear these.
209
00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:39,717
And apparently,
it's called a cummerbund,
210
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,385
not a cumberbun.
211
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,187
Makes me wonder if there are other words
212
00:07:43,221 --> 00:07:44,622
I've been saying wrong.
213
00:07:44,656 --> 00:07:47,224
James and Sabrina are having
their reception in a gymnasium
214
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:49,226
because they're on a tight budget.
215
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,961
So, to help out, I offered to cater.
216
00:07:50,996 --> 00:07:53,998
And to dust off my old
DJ turntables from the '80s.
217
00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:56,500
218
00:07:56,535 --> 00:07:58,436
(tap dancing)
219
00:08:01,506 --> 00:08:03,307
Ladies!
220
00:08:03,341 --> 00:08:06,110
Tap aerobics was supposed
to be over at 11:30.
221
00:08:06,144 --> 00:08:07,678
It's now 11:31.
222
00:08:07,713 --> 00:08:10,314
Any fat you haven't tapped off by now
223
00:08:10,348 --> 00:08:13,050
can wait until tomorrow.
224
00:08:15,053 --> 00:08:18,622
Programs. Get your programs.
225
00:08:18,657 --> 00:08:20,691
It's the only way to know how much more
226
00:08:20,726 --> 00:08:22,226
you've got to sit through.
227
00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:25,663
Reverend Bob, we got Jimmy and
Sabrina's marriage license.
228
00:08:25,697 --> 00:08:26,964
Marvelous. I've been waiting...
229
00:08:26,998 --> 00:08:28,299
Wha-wha...?
230
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:29,934
You?
231
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,069
Barbara June Thompson?
232
00:08:32,104 --> 00:08:34,472
I thought you died 50 years ago.
233
00:08:34,506 --> 00:08:38,142
Oh, yeah, I remember him.
(laughs)
234
00:08:38,176 --> 00:08:40,811
Oh, I used to fake
my death all the time.
235
00:08:40,846 --> 00:08:43,047
Mostly to get out of stuff.
(chuckles)
236
00:08:43,081 --> 00:08:46,083
Oh, especially when I was giving
voice lessons
237
00:08:46,118 --> 00:08:48,052
to little, chubby, talentless brats
238
00:08:48,086 --> 00:08:49,887
who sang like a seal.
239
00:08:49,921 --> 00:08:52,356
The animal, not the Grammy winner
240
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:54,125
with the messed-up face.
241
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,827
Anyway, uh, faking a heart attack
242
00:08:56,862 --> 00:08:59,363
was a lot less traumatic
than telling them
243
00:08:59,397 --> 00:09:01,599
(laughing):
how terrible they were.
244
00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:03,567
Because of you, I gave up my dream
245
00:09:03,602 --> 00:09:05,603
of becoming the next Frankie Valli.
246
00:09:05,637 --> 00:09:08,339
You're an evil woman,
Barbara June Thompson.
247
00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:10,608
And I refuse to marry anyone
248
00:09:10,642 --> 00:09:12,343
who is related to you.
249
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:14,779
What? No...
250
00:09:14,813 --> 00:09:17,081
No, no, no, ma'am.
251
00:09:17,115 --> 00:09:18,315
Oh, no.
252
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,785
Jimmy and Sabrina cannot
find out about any of this.
253
00:09:20,819 --> 00:09:23,087
I'll stay here with Maw Maw
and work on Reverend Bob.
254
00:09:23,121 --> 00:09:24,555
Burt, go stall 'em.
255
00:09:24,589 --> 00:09:28,292
By the way, Maw Maw, now I now
you faked that heart attack
256
00:09:28,326 --> 00:09:30,194
when you were trying
to teach me Spanish.
257
00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:35,099
Apology accepted.
258
00:09:38,170 --> 00:09:40,070
What's with the sword?
259
00:09:40,105 --> 00:09:45,609
I take my job as backup
best man very seriously.
260
00:09:45,644 --> 00:09:47,211
The truth is,
261
00:09:47,245 --> 00:09:50,080
my high school wouldn't let me
bring this sword to prom.
262
00:09:50,115 --> 00:09:53,317
Now I finally get a chance to use it.
263
00:09:56,254 --> 00:09:58,656
Small problem.
264
00:09:58,690 --> 00:09:59,890
Why is he going up there?
265
00:09:59,925 --> 00:10:00,925
Is it starting?
266
00:10:00,959 --> 00:10:02,026
I don't know.
267
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,961
We were too cheap to
pay for a rehearsal.
268
00:10:03,995 --> 00:10:05,596
Just go, go.
Okay.
269
00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:08,399
Reverend Bob's running late,
so just hang tight.
270
00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:09,934
SABRINA:
Hey!
271
00:10:09,968 --> 00:10:11,969
What's happening?
272
00:10:12,003 --> 00:10:14,338
(whispering loudly):
Reverend Bob is running late.
273
00:10:14,372 --> 00:10:16,473
(sighs)
274
00:10:16,508 --> 00:10:17,908
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
275
00:10:17,943 --> 00:10:19,476
Sit down, sit down.
This isn't it.
276
00:10:19,511 --> 00:10:21,912
This is not it.
Sit down, sit down.
277
00:10:21,947 --> 00:10:24,114
Reverend Bob is stuck in traffic.
278
00:10:24,149 --> 00:10:26,951
He was, uh, exercising across town.
279
00:10:26,985 --> 00:10:28,352
With weights or demons?
280
00:10:28,386 --> 00:10:29,687
I didn't ask.
281
00:10:29,721 --> 00:10:31,488
Point is, it's going to be a while.
Oh, man.
282
00:10:31,523 --> 00:10:33,257
Well, what are we going to do?
283
00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:35,659
We have all these
people here, and I just...
284
00:10:35,694 --> 00:10:37,027
I don't want to be rude.
285
00:10:37,062 --> 00:10:39,296
What part of "sit down"
do you not understand?
286
00:10:39,331 --> 00:10:41,031
Sit!
287
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,668
I think I know how we can kill some time
288
00:10:44,703 --> 00:10:45,936
till Reverend Bob shows up.
289
00:10:45,971 --> 00:10:48,339
Reception before the ceremony.
290
00:10:48,373 --> 00:10:50,374
Jimmy's a big fan
of doing things out of order.
291
00:10:50,408 --> 00:10:51,642
Just ask Hope.
292
00:10:51,676 --> 00:10:55,346
293
00:10:59,084 --> 00:11:01,952
Mind if I take her for one last spin?
294
00:11:10,262 --> 00:11:12,029
Dale?
295
00:11:13,932 --> 00:11:15,165
Taquito?
296
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,734
What are you doing here?
297
00:11:16,768 --> 00:11:18,769
(sighs) This disguise seemed
like a much better idea
298
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,638
when I thought
there'd be other servers here.
299
00:11:20,672 --> 00:11:21,639
What's going on?
300
00:11:21,673 --> 00:11:22,940
(sighs) Uh, bit of a problem.
301
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,475
Uh, Lucy escaped.
302
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,243
You haven't seen her, have you?
303
00:11:26,278 --> 00:11:27,444
No.
304
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,846
I thought you said
you had her under control.
305
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,283
I did, uh, but her brain
got triggered again.
306
00:11:33,718 --> 00:11:35,819
The Natesville Cake-tastrophe
307
00:11:35,854 --> 00:11:38,555
has taken an ugly, environmental turn.
308
00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:42,493
We have now confirmed that there
are five icing-covered pigeons
309
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:45,296
being treated at local animal hospitals.
310
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,231
And animal experts are preparing
311
00:11:47,265 --> 00:11:50,367
for an outbreak of raccoon diabetes.
312
00:11:50,402 --> 00:11:52,269
But in more joyful news,
313
00:11:52,304 --> 00:11:54,471
the happy couple who caused this mess,
314
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,674
James Chance and Sabrina Collins,
315
00:11:56,708 --> 00:11:58,309
walked away from the accident
316
00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,044
and will walk down the aisle
317
00:12:00,078 --> 00:12:03,681
this afternoon at the
United Church of Natesville.
318
00:12:03,715 --> 00:12:05,516
No!
319
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:08,485
(grunting)
320
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:09,553
I'm calling the police.
321
00:12:09,587 --> 00:12:10,888
No, no, no, no, no, Burt, don't.
322
00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:12,763
What-what if this was...
what if this was Hope?
323
00:12:14,259 --> 00:12:15,993
DALE: I mean, she is Lucy's daughter.
324
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,795
That makes her half serial killer.
325
00:12:17,829 --> 00:12:19,763
(chuckling):
That'll never happen.
326
00:12:23,501 --> 00:12:24,802
BURT:
Fine.
327
00:12:24,836 --> 00:12:26,737
But Virginia can never
find out about this.
328
00:12:26,771 --> 00:12:31,141
I remember when Lucy tore
apart her first stray cat.
329
00:12:31,176 --> 00:12:33,210
They grow up so fast.
330
00:12:33,244 --> 00:12:35,679
Wow.
331
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,548
I wasn't paying attention.
332
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:41,485
Wow, Dan, that was amazing.
333
00:12:41,519 --> 00:12:43,387
If you know any single homeless ladies,
334
00:12:43,421 --> 00:12:44,855
I'm on the market.
335
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:45,856
Literally.
336
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,391
I live on top of the market.
337
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,792
Lucy's either hiding or in disguise.
338
00:12:57,827 --> 00:12:59,094
We're gonna have to check everyone here.
339
00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:00,562
You're right.
340
00:13:00,596 --> 00:13:02,130
(quietly):
What are you doing?
341
00:13:02,164 --> 00:13:04,165
Oh. She's that good.
342
00:13:07,169 --> 00:13:08,270
Ooh. Stop.
343
00:13:08,304 --> 00:13:10,338
(giggling):
Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
344
00:13:16,112 --> 00:13:18,179
Would you care to dance?
345
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:21,049
Oh, no.
346
00:13:21,083 --> 00:13:24,419
Would you care to dance?
347
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,859
Would you care to dance?
348
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,361
Fine.
349
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,200
Go ahead.
350
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,869
I just want to watch.
351
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,437
Will you please come out
352
00:13:42,471 --> 00:13:45,373
and talk to us, Reverend Bob?
353
00:13:46,943 --> 00:13:47,976
Please don't go.
354
00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:49,878
I'm sure we can work this out.
355
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,647
I thought I killed
that woman with my voice.
356
00:13:52,682 --> 00:13:54,549
I didn't speak for five years.
357
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,785
I had to learn sign language.
358
00:14:02,491 --> 00:14:04,659
You don't even want to know
359
00:14:04,694 --> 00:14:06,261
what I just called you.
360
00:14:06,295 --> 00:14:08,129
All this whining brings back memories
361
00:14:08,164 --> 00:14:09,764
of his awful high notes.
362
00:14:09,799 --> 00:14:11,766
Look, she's crazy, okay?
363
00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:13,068
You don't even want to know
364
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,769
what she told me I could never do.
365
00:14:14,804 --> 00:14:17,339
She said I could
never be a-a doctor,
366
00:14:17,373 --> 00:14:18,573
or a lawyer,
367
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:21,209
or a Laker Girl like Paula Abdul Jabbar.
368
00:14:21,243 --> 00:14:23,678
Did you ever become any of those things?
No.
369
00:14:23,713 --> 00:14:25,780
I'm a maid because I listened to her.
370
00:14:25,815 --> 00:14:28,516
And also 'cause I got pregnant at 15
371
00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:30,852
and dropped out of high school.
372
00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:32,220
And I'm a little lazy.
373
00:14:32,254 --> 00:14:35,090
But the point is, you
can't let anyone but you
374
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,825
destroy your dreams.
375
00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:40,595
Well, I've always wanted to...
376
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:45,734
(off-key):
Croon again.
377
00:14:45,768 --> 00:14:47,202
VIRGINIA:
Wow.
378
00:14:47,236 --> 00:14:50,205
You have a wonderful voice.
379
00:14:50,239 --> 00:14:51,840
Really? Do you think so?
380
00:14:51,874 --> 00:14:53,041
Definitely.
381
00:14:53,075 --> 00:14:55,777
You're better than a lot
of professional singers.
382
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:58,113
Linda McCartney and, uh, um,
383
00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,548
Captain Kirk come to mind.
384
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:01,716
Great news.
385
00:15:01,751 --> 00:15:03,618
Reverend Bob just arrived.
386
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,153
(gasps) Thank God.
387
00:15:05,187 --> 00:15:07,155
Ugh, now we can finally get this wedding
388
00:15:07,189 --> 00:15:09,858
back on track and do things
the way we planned.
389
00:15:09,892 --> 00:15:11,726
Well, not exactly.
390
00:15:11,761 --> 00:15:13,395
You won't be walking down the aisle
391
00:15:13,429 --> 00:15:15,196
to "Here Comes the Bride."
392
00:15:15,231 --> 00:15:17,532
BURT: I knew Virginia would be mad
if she found out I was hiding
393
00:15:17,566 --> 00:15:19,300
the fact that Lucy had escaped,so I decided
394
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,970
not to tell her,which meant it was up to me
395
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:26,741
to keep this white wedding
from becoming a red wedding.
396
00:15:26,776 --> 00:15:29,010
Did that sound cool?
397
00:15:29,045 --> 00:15:31,146
It seemed cool.
398
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,815
(classical music playing)
399
00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:43,525
I can't do this.
400
00:15:43,559 --> 00:15:45,960
I ate too many taquitos
at the reception.
401
00:15:45,995 --> 00:15:48,096
There's no way I'm gonna
make it through the ceremony
402
00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:49,998
without having to go to the bathroom.
403
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,200
You're gonna have to take
my place as best man.
404
00:15:52,234 --> 00:15:54,169
Here.
405
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:57,105
I ate a lot of taquitos, too.
406
00:15:57,139 --> 00:16:01,142
But a good backup best man
always comes prepared.
407
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,547
(classical music playing)
408
00:16:09,485 --> 00:16:11,453
All right.
409
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:14,522
I'm so happy for you, Sabrina,
410
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,991
but unfortunately my stomach is not.
411
00:16:17,026 --> 00:16:18,793
Are you sure you're okay?
(grunts)
412
00:16:18,828 --> 00:16:20,528
I'm fine. I'll just
watch from back here.
413
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,464
Be closer to the facilities.
414
00:16:22,498 --> 00:16:23,665
All right.
415
00:16:23,699 --> 00:16:25,567
Let's do this.
416
00:16:28,104 --> 00:16:30,238
(off-key):
Big girls
417
00:16:30,272 --> 00:16:32,040
Don't cry
418
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,808
Are you kidding me?
Big girls
419
00:16:33,843 --> 00:16:36,644
The faster we walk, the sooner he stops.
Don't cry
420
00:16:36,679 --> 00:16:38,680
Big girls
421
00:16:38,714 --> 00:16:40,548
Don't cry-y-y...
422
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:41,816
(whispers):
Burt.
423
00:16:41,851 --> 00:16:44,319
Sorry.
424
00:16:44,353 --> 00:16:46,154
Look at that, Dale.
425
00:16:46,188 --> 00:16:48,523
One day, you're taking them
426
00:16:48,557 --> 00:16:50,158
for pony rides and going
trick-or-treating...
427
00:16:50,192 --> 00:16:53,094
Next thing you know, she's
responsible for seven homicides
428
00:16:53,129 --> 00:16:55,697
that we know of,
and wearing a shock collar
429
00:16:55,731 --> 00:16:57,632
designed for livestock.
430
00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,534
Where does the time go?
431
00:16:59,568 --> 00:17:01,836
Hey... if she's still
wearing that collar,
432
00:17:01,871 --> 00:17:03,471
maybe we should hit the button.
433
00:17:03,506 --> 00:17:06,241
Maybe we'll hear her scream.
434
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,977
(beeps, electricity cackling)
435
00:17:09,011 --> 00:17:10,678
Huh. Nothing.
436
00:17:10,713 --> 00:17:12,714
Coast is clear.
Yeah.
437
00:17:17,414 --> 00:17:19,782
Love isn't just an emotion.
438
00:17:19,816 --> 00:17:23,085
It's a taste, touch, smell.
439
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:26,188
What does love smell like,
you might ask?
440
00:17:26,223 --> 00:17:29,959
To me, it smells
like the burning propane
441
00:17:29,993 --> 00:17:31,927
from a hot air balloon
442
00:17:31,962 --> 00:17:34,096
as you're floating through the sky
443
00:17:34,131 --> 00:17:38,467
on a crisp autumn morning
with your best friend, Steve.
444
00:17:38,502 --> 00:17:40,169
REVEREND BOB: What does love taste like?
445
00:17:40,203 --> 00:17:41,203
Well, to me...
446
00:17:41,238 --> 00:17:43,506
You've got the shock power set at one?
447
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,608
Oh, yeah, I-I couldn't stand
to set it any higher.
448
00:17:45,642 --> 00:17:47,309
She... she's my little girl.
(chuckles)
449
00:17:47,344 --> 00:17:49,679
She's not my little girl.
450
00:17:49,713 --> 00:17:53,015
(beeps, electricity crackles)
451
00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:54,016
Oh, there you are, sweetie.
452
00:17:54,051 --> 00:17:56,052
(grunting)
453
00:17:57,688 --> 00:17:59,021
Oh!
454
00:17:59,056 --> 00:18:00,389
JIMMY:
Weddings aren't just
455
00:18:00,424 --> 00:18:01,557
about the bride and groom.
456
00:18:01,591 --> 00:18:04,527
They also bring families together.
457
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,662
(Lucy grunts)
458
00:18:06,697 --> 00:18:09,331
(sobs)
459
00:18:09,366 --> 00:18:13,369
The rings, please.
460
00:18:13,403 --> 00:18:15,838
JIMMY: And while something
unexpected usually happens,
461
00:18:15,872 --> 00:18:17,873
that's what makes them interesting.
462
00:18:24,481 --> 00:18:26,215
(grunts)
(gasps)
463
00:18:26,249 --> 00:18:28,284
(grunts loudly)
464
00:18:28,318 --> 00:18:29,618
(beeps, electricity cackles))
465
00:18:29,653 --> 00:18:31,754
JIMMY: But in the end, all that matters
466
00:18:31,788 --> 00:18:33,456
is those two important words.
467
00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:35,057
Help me.
468
00:18:35,092 --> 00:18:36,425
I do.
469
00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:37,660
(grunts)
470
00:18:37,694 --> 00:18:39,061
There's no TV to hit me
471
00:18:39,096 --> 00:18:40,329
over the head with this time.
472
00:18:40,363 --> 00:18:41,764
(grunts)
473
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,568
This is God's TV.
474
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,670
Sorry, baby.
475
00:18:47,704 --> 00:18:49,772
I do.
476
00:18:49,806 --> 00:18:53,642
You may now kiss your lovely bride.
477
00:19:04,521 --> 00:19:05,821
(sighs)
478
00:19:27,878 --> 00:19:29,512
We had a few minor issues,
479
00:19:29,546 --> 00:19:31,280
(chuckles) like the cake disaster,
480
00:19:31,314 --> 00:19:33,349
but for the most part,
481
00:19:33,383 --> 00:19:35,417
everything went off without a hitch.
482
00:19:35,452 --> 00:19:37,286
And our gift to them was
483
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:38,788
we let them believe that nonsense.
484
00:19:38,822 --> 00:19:41,557
They never found out about
the marriage license fiasco
485
00:19:41,591 --> 00:19:43,692
or Reverend Bob
refusing to do the wedding.
486
00:19:43,727 --> 00:19:46,162
Yup, we took care of everything.
Mm-hmm.
487
00:19:46,196 --> 00:19:48,497
Even put our lives on the
line to save the day.
488
00:19:48,532 --> 00:19:50,800
That might be taking it a little far.
489
00:19:50,834 --> 00:19:53,469
(chuckles)
490
00:19:53,503 --> 00:19:54,937
DALE:
As you can see,
491
00:19:54,971 --> 00:19:57,006
Lucy's returned to her childlike state.
492
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,541
She doesn't even remember the wedding.
493
00:19:58,575 --> 00:20:00,643
Just keep her away from us
from now on, okay?
494
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:02,578
I mean, no offense,
but we're kind of done
495
00:20:02,612 --> 00:20:04,747
with the whole Lucy coming back
from the dead thing.
496
00:20:04,781 --> 00:20:06,949
It's like every year
we think she's gone,
497
00:20:06,983 --> 00:20:08,818
and then she comes back
in some crazy way.
498
00:20:08,852 --> 00:20:10,386
Messes up our lives again.
499
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:11,787
It's getting old.
500
00:20:11,822 --> 00:20:13,989
I promise, we'll be out
of your lives, uh, forever.
501
00:20:14,024 --> 00:20:15,825
But you do realize we've been
being filmed the entire time,
502
00:20:15,859 --> 00:20:18,594
so Jimmy and Sabrina are
gonna see their wedding video
503
00:20:18,628 --> 00:20:20,362
and know that, uh, Lucy's alive.
504
00:20:20,397 --> 00:20:22,865
Oh, man, you're right.
505
00:20:22,899 --> 00:20:23,999
How we gonna fix this?
506
00:20:24,034 --> 00:20:25,067
I don't know.
507
00:20:25,101 --> 00:20:27,503
508
00:20:28,872 --> 00:20:31,807
(grunting):
Hear me now? Hear me now?
509
00:20:33,810 --> 00:20:35,110
All right, Mom.
510
00:20:35,145 --> 00:20:37,079
That's it.
(sighs)
511
00:20:37,113 --> 00:20:39,582
Thank you so much
for this incredible gift.
512
00:20:39,616 --> 00:20:41,383
We're gonna cherish it forever.
513
00:20:41,418 --> 00:20:43,686
I'm sure we're gonna watch it
a million times.
514
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,956
And, um, when we do,
515
00:20:46,990 --> 00:20:50,726
I want Jimmy to hear this last part.
516
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:55,564
Jimmy, you always make it
seem like you're lucky
517
00:20:55,599 --> 00:20:58,334
to have me as your wife, but...
518
00:20:58,368 --> 00:21:00,803
I'm the lucky one.
519
00:21:00,837 --> 00:21:03,172
I'm lucky to have you and Hope
520
00:21:03,206 --> 00:21:06,041
and your entire family
in my life, and...
521
00:21:06,076 --> 00:21:08,811
sometimes I feel like
I don't say that to you enough,
522
00:21:08,845 --> 00:21:10,813
but it's true.
523
00:21:10,847 --> 00:21:14,416
And when we watch this
with our grandkids one day,
524
00:21:14,451 --> 00:21:18,921
I want them to know
how much you mean to me.
525
00:21:18,955 --> 00:21:21,523
I love you.
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00:21:22,878 --> 00:21:33,686
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,075
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
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00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:41,675
Repair and Synchronization by
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37847
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