All language subtitles for The Love Boat S04E12 The Frugal Pair 1080p WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-squalor_track3_[eng]

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

Whew!

Quite a boatload
of beauties.

My travel agent promised
a scenic cruise,

but we haven't even
left the dock yet.

Ha ha ha!
Hi, I'm Hank welker.

Hi. Adam bricker --
ship's doctor.

Well, hello, there.

And I only charge $10.00

to put your eyes back
in your head.

[ Laughs ]

What a great place
for a single guy.

You could do a lot worse.

Hey, Sally!

My wife.

You're married?

I'm married,
but I'm not dead.

Sally,
this is Dr. Bricker.

Doc, my wife, Sally.

Hi.

A pleasure to meet you,
Mrs. Welker.

Nice to meet you, too.

I hope you have
a pleasant cruise.

Thanks.
We're gonna try.

Your cabin is right through
those doors and to the left.

Thanks.

Heh heh. I'm telling you, sal --
if we ever split up,

I'm coming here
to celebrate the divorce.

How's it going?

Try to figure some guys --
a very attractive wife,

and all he talks about
is other women.

Gee, that must drive
her crazy.

Remember, we supply food,
lodging, and entertainment.

Marriage counseling
is not in our brochure.

This ship is sailing soon.
We'd better get off.

Not yet.

Would you believe
your girlfriend

if she said she was going
on a cruise with her brother?

I think she's cheating on me,
Bobby.

Hey, there she is.

Oh, Rudy, did you remember
to bring the traveler's checks?

I've got them
right here.

Good.

I look more like her brother
than he does.

Come on, Charley,
you've had your look.

I'm not leaving till I find out
who that clown is for sure.

Okay, pal.
Bon voyage.

Okay, you're on the fiesta deck,
cabin 219.

Go right through those doors
and turn left.

Enjoy yourselves.

We will.

Don't you worry.

Hi.

Hello.

I'm Pam Madison.

You're on the fiesta deck,
cabin 217.

Just follow that couple
right there.

You're right next to them.

Thank you.

Pam, darling,
you surprised?

I was able
to get away after all.

But --

I'm her husband.
I'll pay you later.

Cruise now, pay later?

What is going on here?!
Who do you think you are?!

Uh, Charley Cole -- CIA.

Ci--

shh!

There are two foreign agents

staying in the cabin
next door to you.

Foreign agents?!

Shh! I'll have to stay
in your cabin to spy on them.

You, in my cabin?

Yes.

For how long?

As long as it takes --
maybe the entire trip.

Uh, I don't even know you.

Ma'am, the security
of an entire nation is at stake.

Come on, just try
to look natural,

because there might be other
foreign agents watching.

Others? What is it --
a convention?

Enjoy the cruise.

Excuse me.
We're Mr. and Mrs. Hooper.

I'm Violet,
and he's Carl.

I'm captain stubing.

It's a pleasure
to have you aboard.

Thank you.

We're here
for our 40th anniversary.

Our son is treating.

It's sort of
a double celebration.

I'm retiring after 40 years
as a mailman.

Oh, I bet I know what
you're gonna do on this cruise.

Sit around and soak your feet!

You know how many
one-cent stamps in a dozen

when I started?

How many?

12 --
always 12 in a dozen.

Gotcha that time.

Yeah.

Carl was the best letter carrier
they ever had.

Had is right --
past tense.

Now all we have is my pension,
and I hope we make it.

We'll manage.

Mr. and Mrs. Hooper,

in honor of your anniversary,
you must have dinner with me.

At the captain's table?

It's the only place
they let me eat.

Thank you, captain.

That's almost as good as eating
with the postmaster general.

Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Hooper,

your room is just around
the corner and down the stairs.

Oh, listen, here,
let me help you with this.

Thank you,
young man.

You bet.

Carl, put that away.

But, bluebell...

You'll only embarrass
the young man.

Here -- you'll never
get a nickel out of the missus.

It's a nickel.

[ Air horn blows ]

I don't believe
any of this.

How do I know
you're really with the CIA?

I showed you
my identification.

All that said
was "Charley Cole."

It didn't say "CIA."

It never does.

That way, if we're ever
picked up in a foreign country,

they don't know
who we're working for.

I come for a vacation

and I end up in the middle
of the cold war.

I can't hear a thing.

He's probably kissing her
right now.

Did you say, "kissing her"?

No.
I said "kissinger."

He's a master of disguise.

Look! Look!
Look at that --

the blonde with legs
clear up to her throat!

I tell you --

i think they're on this ship
just to drive me crazy.

Good afternoon.

Oh, hi.

If I weren't
a married man...

Doc, pipe that!

I mean, what a shape!

When she jumped into that suit,
she almost missed.

[ Laughs ]

Hey, sal --

don't you wish
you had a figure like that, huh?

She probably
hasn't had two children.

I have two children.

Look at me --
how trim I am.

[ Laughs ]

Are you feeling all right?

Oh, just a slight headache.

I'll be in my office
if you need anything.

Thanks.
I may see you there.

I better close my eyes.

I'm starting to get
palpitations.

Couldn't you come up
with a better disguise?

I expected something
a little more professional.

It's the best
the gift shop could do, Pam.

And anyway, in the spy game,
the key is subtlety.

Ugh!

Hey!

Excuse me, I'm sorry.
It's my fault.

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

That was a close call.

Why?
Who are they?

They're the ones
I'm following.

Those two?
They look so harmless.

Harmless?
Boris and Natasha korinski?

They're Russia's
top brother-and-sister spy team.

Really?

They don't look like
brother and sister.

You can say that again.

Listen, Pam,
I want you to help me.

I want you to go over

and eavesdrop
on their conversation.

Listen for words like
"darling," "honey"...

"Lover."

I don't understand.

Uh, th-- th--
they're code words.

The nicer the words,
the greater trouble I'm in.

You?

Well, when I say "i'm,"
I mean the u.S.A.

Oh, okay.

Mmm.

This is living.

Oh, think I need
some suntan lotion, sweet pea.

Squeeze it
from the bottom, dear.

We can get another vacation
out of it.

Here you go, folks.
Would you like some goodies?

They're on the house.

May I have some peanuts?

As many as you want.

Oh, thank you.

Save some
for the other people.

He said
I could have all I want,

and all my life
I've wanted a lot of peanuts.

Come in.

Oh, hi.

I've decided to take you up
on your offer.

I could really use something
for my headache.

Well, come in, sit down.
Let me take a look at you.

Well, I'm fine.
It's just a headache.

Uh-huh.
Are your eyes okay?

Yeah.

And no problem
with your ears, huh?

Mnh-mnh.

What about your throat?

Fine.

Scratchy?
Not at all scratchy, huh?

Just...

I guess you're right.

Probably nothing more
than a mild tension headache.

Two of these
ought to do it.

And two more in four hours
if you feel you need it.

But no more than
eight a day.

Here you go.

Good.

Thanks a lot, Dr. Bricker.

I really didn't do that much,
Mrs. Welker.

You're very kind.
I appreciate it.

A few aspirins --

hardly worth
your eternal gratitude.

But if you're not feeling
any better,

come back and see me.

I will.

Good.

I'm sure the cruise
will relax you.

I hope so.

You seem to be on your way
to a beautiful tan.

Well, I-I guess everybody
looks better with a tan.

Oh, it looks
especially good on you.

Thanks.

Wish my husband
were as observant as you.

Ah, can I help you?

Yeah -- send those two
lovebirds over there

a couple
of arsenic cocktails.

Comin' up.

What did they say?

Well, I got five "sugars,"
three "darlings,"

and a "honeybunch."

What does that give you?

An ulcer.

Good evening.

How's your headache?

Gone.
Your aspirin did the trick.

Well, I guess all those years at
medical school finally paid off.

Aspirin was my major.

Hiya, doc.

Oh, hi.

How you doin'?

Just fine. Thank you.

Hank, where've you been?
I've been waiting 20 minutes.

Oh, just checking out
the scenery.

Say, doc, with all these
beautiful lady passengers,

you couldn't use
a volunteer male nurse

for the rest of the cruise,
could you?

Uh, afraid not,
but thanks for the offer.

Good evening.

Hank, you embarrassed
Dr. Bricker.

Why?
What did I say?

[ Sighs ]
Nothing.

Hmm?
Are you all right?

I think
my headache's coming back.

I'm gonna go to the cabin
and get some aspirin.

Okay.

I'll stay here
and hold the fort.

You do that.

Huh?

You look nice, Charley.

You're lucky they could round up
some clothes for you.

Yeah.

Thanks.

You know,
I'm worried about you.

I don't think you should be
doing this all alone.

Why didn't they send
more than one agent?

They did.
See that guy over there?

He's one of our top men.

Though he doesn't look it,
he's an expert in martial arts.

You're right.
He doesn't look it.

Here they come!

Good evening.

Good evening.

I've got an idea --
while they're in here,

let's sneak down
and search their room.

Is that legal?

Of course.

That's right.
All's fair in love and war.

It makes me feel good
just knowing you're in the room.

And I wasn't even trying,
man.

You'll find we have
wonderful food onboard,

Mr. and Mrs. Hooper.

Boy, it all sure looks good.

But it looks so expensive.

Our meals are included

in the price of the cruise,
sweetheart.

Oh. In that case,
order anything you like, dear.

Maybe we'll even have dessert.

Oh, you should.
This is a very special occasion.

That's right.

Without that weekly paycheck,

we might not have a chance
to eat this good again.

Well, now you can eat
till your heart's content.

Thank you, captain.

Little rosebud here

never was known
for fixing fancy vittles,

but then how could she
on a postman's salary?

Our marriage was rich
in...Other ways, dear.

Oh, that's true,
buttercup,

but you kept me
a little bit thin.

Ah, champagne --
compliments of the captain.

Shall I open it?

No!

No?

We're not drinkers.

Do you think
we could have the money instead?

Uh-huh, a double bed.

What does that mean?

That means
I'm gonna kill her.

A red bulb?
It figures.

Yeah, you were right.
They must be communists.

You really said that?
And then what happened.

They're back!

Fast eaters!

Well, then I said
to the director,

"but my right side
is even handsomer.

Let the people see it."

Rudy, you were
in a crowd scene

with 500
dead civil war soldiers.

Everyone has to start
somewhere.

I want you to know
that whatever happens,

I'm very happy
I met you.

Shh!

Rudy?

Come here, baby!

Rudy...

When you hold me like this,

you make me feel like
your cuddly, little kitten.

That does it!
You lied to me, Heather!

Charley?

What are you doing here?

Finding out what a two-timer
my girlfriend is.

Your brother, huh?

You've got a lot of nerve
spying on me like this!

Get out of here
this instant!

Don't worry, I'm going!

[ Door slams ]

Just stay out of my life!

And stay out of my cabin!

[ Door slams ]

Hi.

Hi.

Where have you been
all night?

Oh, I, uh, dropped in
at the pirate's cove

for a couple of nightcaps.

I thought you were just going
for some aspirin.

You never came back
for dinner.

And you never came back
to see why I didn't come back.

Well, you were the one
who left.

Too bad
you didn't come find me.

I would've tried to squeeze
you in on my dance card.

Who did you dance with?

Oh, I gave 'em all a break.

You know,
you would think

that a wedding ring
would drive them away,

but instead,
it draws them like flies.

By the way,
how is your headache?

Much better.

Maybe I won't wear
the ring tomorrow.

Maybe that way
they'll leave me alone, huh?

Ha ha ha!

You know, sal, you've been
getting these headaches a lot.

When we get home,

I think you ought to have
a real thorough checkup.

Well, as a matter of fact,

Dr. Bricker did look me over
quite thoroughly.

Oh, he's a ship's doctor.
What would he know?

He knew enough
to find me very attractive.

What's that
supposed to mean?

Nothing.

He just told me he thought
I had a sensational tan.

And?

And he led me to believe
he'd like to see more of it.

Well, what else did he say
during your examination?

Forget it.
It's not important.

Well, d-d-d-d-did he say
anything else

about what he
would like to see?!

D-D-Did he touch you?

A doctor always
has to touch you.

You know
what I'm talking about.

Well, he did ask me
to come back and see him...

Any time.

Oh, he did, did he?

Well, we'll just see
about that!

Hank, where are you going?

Come to bed, darling.
It's getting late.

In a minute, blossom.

We don't want
to miss breakfast --

all the bacon and eggs
you can eat and cereal --

maybe even some pancakes.

Boing!
Exactly midnight.

Happy anniversary.

Oh!

There you go, honeysuckle --
a little present.

You shouldn't have.

Oh, Carl --
our wedding picture.

Yeah, it's a new frame.

Sure was a beautiful dress.

Still is.

Oh, thank you, darling.

I hope you got the frame
on sale.

I have a surprise
for you, too.

Oh.

[ Laughing ]
What is this?

It looks like a court summons
or something.

Ah, let me see here.

Well, 500 shares
general motors,

500 shares at&t,
500 shares of xerox,

500 -- what is this?

A stock portfolio.

Whose?

Ours.

Ours?

This would be worth
a fortune.

$200,538.19.

$200,538?

And 19 cents.

Happy anniversary, dear.

But how? Where?
I don't --

you know how you
always call me pet names

like, um, "rosebud"
and "sweet pea"?

Well, ever since
we've been married,

I'd take some of the food money
you gave me each week

and buy stocks that started
with the same letter.

You'd call me "Petunia,"
and I'd buy polaroid.

You called me "gladiola,"
and I bought general motors.

And you called me
your little "zinnia,"

and I bought xerox.

Xerox starts with an "x."

Oh, I'm glad
I didn't know that.

That's been
one of the biggies.

Now, just a minute --
let's see if I understand.

We're rich?

I like to think
"well off."

You mean
for the last 20 years

I've been lugging
that heavy sack around,

breaking my back,
getting my leg bit,

and we were well off?

And all those years
of eating day-old bread

and leftover helper

we had stock in exxon
and standard oil?

Surprised?

Well, why didn't you
tell me about this years ago?

I could've lived out
my dream --

opened up that little
knife-sharpening business.

Well, I wanted to tell you
some years back,

and then I thought, "if Carl
will be happy with $20,000,

he'll be twice as happy
with $40,000."

And then when
we got to $50,000,

I thought --

I'll tell you
what you thought!

You thought if I found out
about it,

I might want to spend
some of it!

That's the way it's been
ever since we married!

Cut corners
and pinch pennies!

I was just saving
for a rainy day.

A rainy day?!

It's been pouring cats and dogs
all our lives

and we had
a $200,000 umbrella

that you were too cheap
to open up!

You cheat!
You jezebel!

[ Door slams ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Ringing ]

[ Door opens ]

[ Sighs ]

Captain stubing.

Captain,
this is Hank welker.

Hank, please!

Be quiet.

Captain, I just learned
that this afternoon

Dr. Bricker,
during a medical examination,

made indecent advances
to my wife.

Those are serious charges
you're making, Mr. Welker.

Those are not charges, captain.
Those are facts.

And I want you
to do something about it.

[ Click ]

Pam?

Don't talk to me.

Oh, please, please --
I just want to apologize.

I never should've lied --

especially to someone
as nice as you.

And I don't blame you
for never forgiving me.

You did make me feel
like a fool.

Yeah, I know,
and I feel awful.

You don't look too hot,
either.

I guess not.
Well, what's the difference?

Without Heather,
my life's over.

Charley,
I don't understand.

Why would you want her back
after the way she's treated you?

Haven't you ever been
in love?

Yeah, just recently.

It makes you a little more
forgiving, I guess.

I wish Heather
were as understanding as you.

Does she really mean
that much to you?

I would do anything
to get her back.

But it's hopeless

with "Joe stallion"
hanging around.

I don't know --

maybe he just needs the right
carrot dangled in front of him.

Now, that's ridiculous.
I never touched Mrs. Welker.

That's not the point.
They say you did.

And they can make
a lot of trouble for you

with the company.

Merrill, I gave the woman
some aspirin.

That's it.

Who is she?

Well, you remember --

the lady who boarded
with a husband

who leers at every woman.

Oh, yes --

the one you went over to see
at dinner last night.

Yeah.

The one you said
was attractive.

Merrill, you don't think
I'm gonna jeopardize --

oh, of course not, Adam,

but why would she say
you made a pass at her?!

I don't know!

I'm gonna find out.

No, Adam!

You better let me talk
to them.

I don't want you to be alone
with her.

Captain stubing...

Don't you trust me?

Without question.

We've already had one
misunderstanding.

Let's not make it two.

Good morning, Mr. Hooper.

Good morning.

Hi. How's Mrs. Hooper
this morning?

I don't know,
and I don't care.

Good morning,
Mrs. Hooper.

I'll take the stairs.

Good morning, Mr. Welker.

Hi.

I'd like to talk to you
and your wife.

She's resting.
She has a headache.

Well, did you talk
to the doctor?

Yes, yes, I did.

And he said
nothing unusual happened

between him
and Mrs. Welker.

You mean that's what he usually
does with his lady patients?

No, Mr. Welker,
that's not what I meant.

Now, look, in all the years
Dr. Bricker has been with us,

there's been no complaint filed
against him.

Are you sure this isn't
some sort of misunderstanding?

Captain, if you're not gonna do
anything about this, I will.

I'll go to the president
of the cruise line myself

and see that the man
is fired.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

Got to go now, Rudy.
Time for exercise class.

Later, babe.

Excuse me, have you seen
my script around here?

Script?

Are you an actress?

No. I'm a casting director.

Casting director?

Yes, um, in fact,
too bad you're not an actor.

I could use someone just like
you in a picture I'm casting.

But I am an actor.

No.

Yes.

Oh, you're kidding me.

I'm not.

Let me go get
my portfolio.

Oh, no, no, wait --
pictures are so impersonal.

I like to know my actors.

Maybe we could have dinner
tonight.

Well, I --

unless, of course,
you're already attached.

Me? Attached?

Baby, I'm the most eligible man
aboard this ship.

Good.

When I was in high school,
I played a cactus.

Well, really, Mr. Hooper,

you can't just throw away
40 years of marriage.

40 years of slavery,
you mean --

tote that bag,
lift that mail.

You don't understand.

I could've been somebody with
the money she stole from me.

I could've opened my own
knife-sharpening business!

I'll tell you,
I've had it.

Couldn't you give her
just one more chance?

I mean, after all,
she is your wife.

Not for long.

As a retired mailman,

I've already gotten rid
of one bag.

He's an ungrateful,
old geezer.

Now, now, I'm sure
it's just a lover's spat.

Oh, no, it isn't.

You know, Mrs. Hooper,

sometimes the two hardest words
in the English language to say

are "I'm sorry."

What do I have
to apologize for?

I made that man
what he is today.

Are you sure this
is all you want, Mrs. Hooper,

is a cup of hot water?

Yes, Isaac.
Thank you.

I'll never forgive Carl
for what he said to me.

Imagine -- calling me
a cheap penny pincher!

Charley?

Don't worry.
I'm not mad at you anymore.

You're not?

No.

In fact, I never was.

But you told me
to stay out of your life.

But I never said anything
about my cabin.

Why don't you drop by tonight
for a cozy, little dinner --

just you and me, Charley?

Well, I'd love to, but
what about that bronzed Adonis

you came onboard with?

Rudy?

I was only with him
to make you jealous, silly.

I don't believe it.
The hoopers are breaking up.

She's very definite
about it.

So is he.

The poor man
must be scared.

He's worked hard
all his life.

All he's got to show for it
is a small pension.

We've got to find a way
to get them back together again.

Why don't I throw them a little
anniversary party tonight?

That way, they'll be sure
to come together.

Don't count on it.

Well, it's worth a try.

Hi, doc.

Hi, guys.

Adam.

Uh, you spoke
to the welkers?

Yes, yes, I did.

Wouldn't you like
to discuss this in private?

No, that's all right.
We're all family.

What did they say?

Well, Mrs. Welker wasn't there.
She has a headache.

But her husband said

the same thing
he said last night --

that you made advances
toward his wife

while she was your patient.

Doc wouldn't do that.

Really?

Ridiculous.

Did he say anything else?

Yes.

He said he's gonna do everything
he can to have you fired.

Well, not before I speak
to Mrs. Welker.

Adam?

Merrill, she's using me.

Be careful.

So long, guys.

Bye, doc.

So long, doc.

Uh, Mrs. Welker,
I've been looking for you.

I think it's time
we had a little talk.

Please, I can't.

I have a splitting headache.
I have to lie down.

But my reputation --
my career is at stake.

We have to talk.

She doesn't
have to do anything, doctor.

And if you don't
leave her alone,

you're gonna be
your next patient.

Come on, sweetheart.

I'm only doing this
for the captain and the others.

Well, I'm doing it
so our son won't think

this was a total waste
of his good money.

They went to
a great deal of trouble

to arrange this
anniversary party.

Our last anniversary.

That's fine with me!

Good.

I'm glad we agree
on something.

Knowing the captain,

I'm sure this is going to be
a very elegant party.

Yeah. Maybe you should
break out a new tea bag.

Pam!

Guess what.
A miracle happened.

Heather wants me back.

That's very nice, Charley.
I'm really happy for you.

Thanks.

Boy, you look beautiful
tonight.

You must have something special
planned, huh?

Yeah, in a way,
I'm doing a favor for a friend.

Have a wonderful evening,
Charley.

Captain, I don't understand
why you've asked us here.

Well, this is
a very serious matter.

And I wanted to treat it
as fairly as possible.

Now, before I tell you
what I've decided,

I want to ask you again,
Mrs. Welker,

are you certain
of the accusation you're making?

Now, what is that?
Of course she's certain.

Stop browbeating her.
Don't be afraid, sweetheart.

All right, this is the cable
I'm sending

to the president
of our line.

"Upon completion
of this cruise,

"I hereby suspend
Dr. Adam bricker from duty

"pending an investigation
of charges of improprieties

"made by Mrs. Sally welker.

"If such charges and allegations
prove to be true,

"I recommend
that Dr. Adam bricker

be dismissed from service
permanently."

Any questions?

I'm sorry, Adam.
I had no choice.

Captain?

Yes?

What will happen
to Dr. Bricker?

Who cares?

I care!

To put it simply, he'll be fired
from his position here.

Does this mean

that he will have to practice
medicine somewhere else?

That's not up to me.

That's up to
the medical review board.

Captain,
can we get on with this?

That's it -- I don't want to
take up any more of your time.

No, wait.

I can't let you do this.

Now, sal,
don't feel sorry for him

after what he did to you.

He didn't do anything to me.

I made up the whole story.

Dr. Bricker was never anything
but a perfect gentleman.

What are you saying?

I'm sorry, Hank.

It was the only way I could get
you to pay some attention to me.

You're always looking
at other women,

saying how pretty they are --

talking about them
like I wasn't even there.

But, sal, that's just talk.

You know me.

It hurts.

Oh, sal, I --
I had no idea I was hurting you.

I know I look at other women,
but I --

I don't know, maybe I'm just
a big, dumb kid or something,

but I can promise you this,
sal --

ever since the first time
I looked at you,

I never even thought
about loving anyone else.

I know an apology couldn't
possibly make up

for what I've put you through,
but I'm really sorry.

Apology accepted.

No, I'm the one who should
apologize...To you, doctor,

and to you, sal.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

There was never any question
in my mind, Adam.

You were right.
She was using you.

Tell me -- if Mrs. Welker
hadn't backed down,

would you have sent
that cable?

Yes, but I don't think anything
would've come of it.

So Betty and Pete
and Barbara and Ken

were actually
seeing each other

before they knew
they were getting a divorce.

Anyway, that's what my
hairdresser, Maurice,

told my manicurist.

Isn't that hilarious?

A scream.

Oh, Charley, isn't it wonderful
to be together again?

[ Grunting ]
Yeah...Swell.

Taking me back to your cabin
early, huh?

You must've read my mind.

I can't read anything that small
without my glasses.

Good night, Rudy.

Wait a minute --

the night
is still young.

Oh, Charley bear,

you make me feel like
your cuddly, little kitten.

[ Door closes ]

She's back!

Rudy...

I dig a chick
who plays hard-to-get.

I am not playing
hard-to-get.

Good.

She's with that Adonis creep.

Who cares?

All he thinks about
is sex, sex, sex.

Let me go!

Don't fight it, baby.
It's bigger than both of us.

Hey!
Leave her alone!

Do you do this
for a living?

Pam, I'm sorry I broke in on you
like this, but I can't help it.

I've been thinking about you
all night.

You have?

I know you must think
I'm some kind of a nut,

but I'm crazy about you.

I just never realized it
until now.

Hey, what is this?

Your exit cue.
Goodbye, Rudy.

You know,
you're starting to bug me.

Oh, yeah?

A little.

Boy, some spy
I turned out to be, huh?

I was looking
for the wrong girl all along.

Maybe I should've just
given you better clues.

Do you think
this is gonna work?

Don't worry --
a little romantic music,

soft lights, close dancing --
can't miss.

Here they come.

Oh!

Well, happy anniversary,
you two.

Where would you like
to sit?

At separate tables.

Now, now.

[ Dance music playing ]

[ Music stops ]

Drumroll.

[ Drumroll ]

Ladies and gentlemen,
every once in a while,

we meet passengers
who are special.

Well, actually,
all our passengers are special.

But these people are...

Extra special.

Married 40 years ago today --

won't you join me
in congratulating

Violet and Carl hooper?

Happy anniversary.

Everybody's looking at us.

They're looking at you.

I think they all came here
to watch you pinch a penny.

Mr. and Mrs. Hooper,
since this is your anniversary,

would you like to begin
the dancing?

[ Sighs ]

They certainly spent a bundle
to get us back together.

A waste of good money.

At least I get a little more use
out of this rented suit.

And my new dresses.

[ "Anniversary waltz" plays ]

Hey, that's
the "anniversary waltz."

You remember the first time
I heard that?

How could I forget?

It was our first date.

We borrowed your father's desoto
and took a drive up to the lake.

Yeah, and every time
we went down a hill,

you made me turn off the motor
to save gas.

Maybe I have been a little tight
with the money.

No, Violet, no.
You were right to be that way.

If it weren't for you,
we'd have nothing to retire on.

Rosebud, believe me, I'm sorry
I said all those mean things.

It's all right.
You were angry.

The only thing
I don't understand

is why you called me
"jezebel."

[ Chuckling ]

I didn't mean to call you that.
I meant to call you "scrooge."

Then you don't feel like
you've wasted your life?

How could I have wasted my life
if I've lived it with you?

Oh, Carl.

Captain,
you've done it again.

I haven't lost
a couple yet.

Come on, Rudy!

Will you hurry up?!

Sorry. Sorry.

Perfect match.

They can both marry
beneath themselves.

You know,
I've been thinking --

I bet you would make
a good CIA agent.

Me? Are you kidding?

No. Last night you proved

you're a pretty good
"undercover" man.

Thanks again for everything,
and I do mean "everything."

Me too, doc.

And I don't think Sally

will be having any more
of those tension headaches.

As the man said,
"all's well that ends well."

Bye-bye.

Bye.

You know, doc,
it's funny --

the first woman who ever accused
you of making a pass at her

is the only one you didn't.

Well, guess it's time
to say goodbye.

It was a pleasure
to have both of you with us.

That goes for me, too.

That goes for all of us.

You've been so nice

we've decided
to give you all a raise.

A raise?

Oh, we're shareholders
in the line, you know.

You own stock
in the line?

One of our smaller holdings.

I just found out about it.

She's been investing
our grocery money for 40 years.

Which maybe explains why

the meat was always
a little tough.

Oh, Mr. Hooper --
here, let me help you with this!

Oh, that's all right.

Thanks anyway, gopher.
Oh, here, here...

A quarter for you.

And keep the change.